In this episode, Yvonne McCoy is joined by a resilient guest who shares her transformative journey of self-discovery and personal growth after leaving an abusive relationship. Together, they delve into the importance of aligning personal values with life and business decisions, the power of collaboration, and the significance of embracing change with courage and resilience.

Guest Bio:

Kat Polsinelli, founder of the Lotus Effect, is passionate about empowering individuals to embrace change and pursue authentic, value-based living. With a focus on personal growth and resilience, she advocates for the alignment of values with business decisions and the cultivation of meaningful collaborations.

Key Points:

- 06:32 - Importance of Starting with Your Core Values

- 12:18 - Embracing Change with Courage and Resilience

- 19:45 - Navigating Collaborations Based on Authenticity

- 27:09 - The Impact of Societal Conditioning on Limiting Beliefs

- 34:15 - Surrounding Oneself with Supportive and Abundance-Minded Individuals

Main Quote by the Guest:

"Surround yourself with people who respect individuality, believe in abundance, and see opportunities in challenges."

Guest’s Website:

To connect with Kat Polsinelli visit: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thelotuseffectcoach/

Hello, everybody. Welcome to the One Small Change podcast,

and I am thrilled that you have taken time again to join me on

this exciting journey of transformation for all of us.

And I think that, you might know me or you might not,

but I'm the host, Yvonne McCoy, and I bring almost 30 years of entrepreneurial

experience and goofiness and a passion for discovering growth through

the power of seemingly small change. And so I wanna thank

you for taking time out of your busy day. And if you're walking or doing

something else, that's great too. So we're gonna be talking with

the amazing Kat Politz. I

I I stopped to think about it, and I goofed myself up.

Kat Tulsa

alright. Pats cats say it. Now I'm saying pat

or cat. Bolsonelli. Bolsonelli.

It almost it almost sounds like a pasta, anelle. Yep.

Well, it's Italian. So It is. It is.

And this is why I love her so much because she has such a great

sense of humor and laughter, and she can roll with the

punches. And when you're working with me, you have to expect the

unexpected. And that's part of what we're gonna share is how a smaller

unexpected, decision sparked a a remarkable

transformation either in your growth, either personally or professionally.

So, Kat, now that I've totally screwed your name up,

I am so sorry. Tell us tell us what

you do and and how this change had an

impact on what you do, whether it's personally or professionally.

Yeah. Sure. So first off, do not worry about the name. I

promise there's a lot of people that have a hard time with it. No. I

I think it's funny. It it I I love it. So, yeah. So as far

as my company oh my gosh. I have tears. I was laughing so hard. I

found another company, called the lotus effect,

which, interestingly enough, is not the direction I

ever thought that I was going to take in my life.

The one small change, which I

I guess is is kind of a big change as well,

was both personal and professional, and that

was that I decided to start

standing up for my own morals. I started standing up for

what I believed in, which happened shortly after getting out of a

10 year abusive relationship. And in making that

decision, I actually lost my job in my

medical field that I had been in for 10 years. So

that completely catapulted me into

another direction in my life, but something

that, to be honest, I was ready to try because

what I had been doing wasn't working, and the way that I was being treated

wasn't appreciated, and I was starting to acknowledge that.

Well, you know, I I think and we we we talked about this

earlier, that sometimes when something happens and it kind

of unexpectedly knocks you down and makes you take a pause,

it's really an opportunity to look around. I had

the I had the same thing kind of happen to me in a corporate job

that I was in. That, they didn't renew my contract,

and I was, like,

devastated, first of all. Mhmm. But it gave me an opportunity

to really go, what is you know, I

have some time. You know, it's gonna be, like, 4 years before my kids go

to college. It's gonna you know, I have some time to do some

things that I wanna do and not worry about bringing in a

salary on a regular basis and decided to volunteer for adult

literacy, which led me in a whole different direction than I

had anticipated. Yeah. So tell me,

you talked about working in your values. I talk about also working

in your vision and your values. So it

to me, when things have gone wrong

or not working the way that I want them, the first thing that I say

is, you know, where was this in my vision, or what is this

person's values? And, you

know, what is their commitment level? So tell me how

how that kinda came into if it did come into

into your story. Yeah. So I feel

like, you know, everybody has values,

and a lot of us actually don't think about what those values are.

I think that, you know, generically, we're like, oh, well, you know, obviously, I want

someone that's honest and someone that's trustworthy and, you know, the

these, I wanna I don't wanna say superficial, but kind of superficial

pieces that society kind of puts out there. It wasn't until

I decided that I was sick and tired

of everyone telling me who I was. I was sick and tired of

people telling me the way that things needed to be done when I knew that

there was a better way, or I disagreed with the

way that things were being handed handled morally.

Right? That was one of the reasons why I had conflict in my medical

job was because we were not on the same terms. My

doctor at the time was all about money, and I was all about honoring

what we had told our patients. And it wasn't until the

that time that I realized I wanted to do something different

that values actually started meaning something instead of

just being something there that you hope people kind of meet you

halfway. So for me now, values

are extremely important when it comes to who I

connect with, who do I allow in my circle, and who I work with.

And that actually goes beyond just being honest and trust

trustworthy. It goes to, do you

honor yourself? Are you willing to take ownership for your

fault in whatever it is even if there's a fault on the other

side? And are you willing to see the perceptions or

the perspectives of others around you and have an open mind to

that so that you can continue to grow. Because if you have a

closed mind, you're not gonna hear anybody else's

ideas. You're not gonna understand anything that they have see because all you have is

blinders on in the way that you want to do it. So those are values

of mine that kind of progressively started becoming more

apparent throughout the years as I started working on my own

personal development. And it's been one of the best shifts I've

ever had when it comes to being able to pick out

who I want around me and who I don't really quick. But,

you know, I I I think I I resonate so much with what

you said because, you

know, there are kind of like the basic things that that you

expect to people. You know, you don't wanna work with murderers or thieves and that

kind of stuff. Right? But but what we don't realize,

I I think, is that

some of the limiting beliefs that we have or that or that

are put on us were put on from a

society that, you know, the education part was

done kind of, you know, so that you became the follower. So

when you step out of that and try to do something out of the

box, you know, in our childhood I mean, they

did it in our childhood to keep us safe, but but, you know, you do

something extraordinary and they go, keep your head down. Don't you know?

And so one of the things that I have found

recently, that has been a big thing for me

is I wanna work with people who understand

that there's enough for everybody. It's not a I win, you

lose. You know, that there's enough abundance

out there for everybody and that your weirdness and

your, you know, your uniqueness is the thing that makes it

makes you really special. So I don't want you to say don't do that or

don't be like that. And Yeah. The other thing

that has been amazing is,

I took a positive intelligence course. And so

the idea that with every, you know, with everything,

you know, thing that happens, there's an opportunity or a gift.

And that has been amazing. I mean, that, you know, I I

I share with you the fact that I couldn't send out any emails for 10

days. And I was, like, you know, a person with their hair

on fire. And I said to my husband, I was born in the wrong century.

I should be driving a horse and buggy. You know? I just

I'm like, I'm so tired of these tech issues. Right?

But, you know, what I found was how much time it actually

took me to send out those broadcasts, and I was actually doing more

personal contact with people as opposed to just, you know,

blindly sending out emails. So I think Mhmm. You know,

you know, we may say, this is how I like to work,

but there's actually a value in there. I, you know, I

value the relationships. I want to have relationships where

we can support each other. I want to have relationships

that are honest where somebody says to me you know, I had one of my

clients go to one of my workshops, and she said to me afterwards, she

goes, I don't you know, I I feel really weird

saying this to you. I I said, just blurt it out. Right? And

she goes, the person that show that presented that workshop

is not the per is not the coach that I work with.

You know? The coach that I work with is, you

know, spontaneous and, you know, and this workshop was just

so structured. And I was like,

wow. That is, you know, and, you know,

from that I went from, like, 45 slides down to 9. Do

do you know? So awesome.

Yeah. So I think that, you know, we think

about values kind of, like, as honesty and stuff like that.

But how does that actually you know, when you say that, how does that actually

show up when you're looking for people? Like, what are the things

that are, like, you know, areas where you go, this is a

red flag for me? For

me, when we are defining values and we're

thinking about what is super important to us or

to me in general, First, it was clearly defining what

was really important to me, and that was really hard in the beginning. So

then it was, okay. Let's look back at the people I've had in my life,

and what did I value from those people? And

then which one of those seemed to kind of constantly overlap?

Authenticity and just being yourself was huge for

me. And I think that that was because for the really longest

time out of my career and also out of my personal

life, that wasn't allowed. It was a specific

way. It was very structured. And so I value that

to its absolute core. And I think that that's the difference

between having values that we are aware of and having

values that really mean something to us at

our absolute core. But it also means that we have to be

willing to follow those values. So authenticity is really

big. Right? So I like to be quirky. I screw things up. I think

it's hilarious, and I still think that you can share a powerful message.

So I look for that in other people, but I also make sure that

I'm showing up in that way. I look for people

that, you know, are willing to see the other side of

something even if you disagree and understand that

someone can have their perspective and you can have your perspective and it doesn't make

anyone right or wrong. There can be a very neutral space to be

in. So it's a very big value for me, and I stand

behind that in myself. So when I am meeting with someone,

those are the first two things that I really pick up on that I really

pay attention to. Do I feel like you and I are having a very

open, honest conversation in the beginning,

or are you trying to be a specific person

to feel me out to see how I am going to open up to

you? Those are huge indicators. And it's not that I don't like

those people. And for some of them, we've had conversations

and turned out to be friends, and they've continued to grow, and I've continued to

grow. But it's an indicator of being aware of it and then

assessing where is that person at in their

growth stage, and can you 2

match or are you gonna end up surpassing them? And that

doesn't always happen in a 30 minute conversation. Right? It happens

in the follow-up. It happens in the continued conversations. It

happens in the actions behind that. Right? If I tell you,

hey, I have these amazing people I'm gonna make introductions to, and I'm gonna give

them to you in a couple of days and you never receive them, that

says a lot about me. It may be that I'm overwhelmed. It may be that

I just got busy and forgot, but that says a lot about me. That says

a lot about how important the conversation that you and I had was

to me. So those are the things that I'm looking for that I'm picking up

on. If I'm meeting with someone and we are strategizing or

brainstorming, but they are constantly bringing the same problem to the

table and not willing to do something different about it,

that lets me know that we are not on the same growth pattern. And that's

fine, but that means that I need to not always

say yes when they want to meet. Maybe start hanging out with other

people or kind of just let that relationship kind of fizzle for

a little bit. It doesn't mean that it's forever. I've had people come back into

my life when they hit that next phase. But it's being very aware

of that and being aware of what you are willing to put up with

and what you are willing not to. And

clearly defining those and being wholeheartedly

okay with standing behind those core values.

Well, you know, I think I I do agree with what

you're saying and, you know, I have this thing called the 4 the the 5

the far. Who knows

what I did today, but my lips are not working. The 5

r's. You know, you wanna do the right thing for the right reason at the

right time, the right way that's right for you. And so

that's kind of a moving target because any of those things can change and, you

know, and so when you're working with people, I've one

of the things that I find that I have had to ask

to have a successful relationship, and I don't know if this is a

value, but it's a truth. It's like, if we're gonna do

something together, you have to tell me what your

time frame and your time commitment is. Because

I I I do not have an off button, unfortunately.

And so if you say we're gonna do something, I'm going at a 150%.

And if you've got something else that's going on in your life,

you know, I need to know that upfront. Not that I'm not

gonna still participate, but it's like, okay. I'm not

gonna start working on this till a little bit later or when we get

closer to what we're gonna do so that we're putting in the

same amount you know, the equal amount of effort or whatever. I mean,

I I I did a big project with somebody. We put it on a

fast track only to find out that, and they didn't

hadn't shared, that they had a planned trip in the middle of the time

frame, which totally shifted,

you know. And I was really happy for them for the trip that they were

taking, but it was like, really? We we if I had

known that, we woulda just pushed this back a month. Right? Yeah.

So that for me is, you know, the same amount of

effort and and and and I think it's really important for me.

It's really important to understand

that the magic happens when somebody

is not exactly like you. And so what

happens for me that I always have to be really careful about is I

tend to go with my gut. Do you know? It's like,

oh, I wanna do

You know? And the and and other people I seem to be

attracted to are much more methodical in in what they do.

And so I'm like, you know, whatever it's attracting me to them

is also it's kinda like in the marriage. The thing that attracted you to them

is the thing that irritates you, you know. So,

you know, after a while. So that's true a lot in the collaborations too.

And and so a lot of what you're talking about, I call

situational awareness. What's going on in the whole

picture? If you've got stuff that's happening

that that is, you know, you're tired. And you and I have

both had the situation where we've had medical issues in our family

that have totally changed our focus or our

time commitments and and that kind of thing. So

if you were going to

talk about how people can take action steps, you know,

in in their in their entrepreneurial, you know,

or or their personal life with this? What would be some ways that they

could actually put this to use?

As far as if you're looking to really

start stepping forward with your values and your core

beliefs and looking at meeting people

in that direction instead of just meeting people for the sake of meeting

people. There's a couple of things that you want to

do first and foremost. And that is,

1, you need to take a look internally, and you need to see

where you're at. 2, you need to get brutally

honest with yourself of what you were good at,

what you have been failing at, and what you were really committed to

changing. Right? And then 3, you write those

pieces down. What sticks out? What is important to you? And what have you

valued in other people that have been around you? Now I say

write them down because that stuff can shift when you're in

different phases of growth, when you're in different phases of your life, both

personally and professionally. That's going to shift a little bit.

Right? And so you have to be aware of that. So it may be that,

you know, for a few years, maybe commitment is a

big thing for you. Honesty, integrity, and commitment. Right? That's

what you're craving. That's the kind of people you want in your life because that's

what you want to bring more of in your own. And that's

great. Well, then a couple years down the low road, you may realize that like

authenticity and just being silly and being fun is become a

core value. So like you said earlier, they can always shift. They can always

change, but being very present and aware of

it is where it starts. You cannot go out

and seek other people of the values that you are looking for if you don't

understand the values that you already have internally and

the values that you are willing to bring to the

table. There has to be an energy swap.

So, I mean, one of the one of the things that that I say,

and I I wanna I want your take on this,

Is sometimes we don't see the best in ourselves, and that happens

a lot. And so sometimes, I the exercise that I do when I do

my workshop is think about a time when you think you were your best,

and then ask somebody who actually knew you then.

Do you know? And I go back to when I was 21. And

so, you know, one of the values that I one of

the dimensions that I wanted was in I had an incredible amount of

energy. I mean, I worked a part time job. I went to school full time.

I partied. I did that. I did all

kinds of stuff. But I asked a friend of mine, and she said,

you were the most adventuresome person I knew. You would try

anything. Do you know? And I was like, oh my

god. It became such a stick in a mud. I won't try anything now unless

I'm I'm sure about what's gonna go on. I'm not you know? And I'm

like, I miss that. Mhmm. I miss that in my life. And

so I think, yes, I think you have to look in

yourself and be brutally honest, but I think sometimes

you have to also and I and I preface this by saying,

don't ask your family. Because your

family your family remembers every bad thing you've

ever done in your life, every failure that you've had. And I I used to

joke that when my dad was in his nineties

and I was in my sixties, he would

still tell the story about when we went camping, and I was cooking

the corn. And he'd say, is the corn done? And I would go, no. And

he'd say, is the corn done? And I go, no. And and finally, he goes,

Yvonne, the corn has gotta be done. And I said, but it hasn't turned

yellow yet. And he goes, but it's white corn. Well,

I didn't know. I'd never had some white corn beef. So I

was waiting for it to turn yellow. I thought that's what it I mean, makes

sense. You know? But I'm I'm saying that's a

story that was, like, 50 years old. You know? And

so you don't don't ask your family. Ask them ask

them ask them the person that knew you kind of, you know, where you wanted

to capture that. Because I think

part of the success is being able

I mean, if I said write a vision statement, write a mission

statement, write a value statement, we would spend so

much time word shopping it, you know, wordsmithing it that

we would never get it. And so the exercise that come up with 3 words.

And so the 3 words for me were energetic,

adventuresome, and my husband said intriguing. And so when

I wanna when I wanna make change and I wanna, like, be in

myself, I say, how can I make this

energetic, adventuresome, and intriguing? And at the time I was

writing these, you know, really awful reports,

and I would sneak little things in it. And I'm sure they took them

out. But to me, it was, like, just a little, you

know, something that made me happy.

I mean, why not? So I think I think the steps that I'm

hearing is be brutally honest with yourself,

You know? And then and then the other part is

get get a little bit of help from somebody who knew you

at a time when you really, you know, were yourself and

start to use it in a simplified manner every day. I mean,

so, you know, you wake up every morning and go, what can I do today

to be energetic and productive and profitable

in my business? You know, or what can I do that's intriguing and

adventuresome? That, I think we can handle in our busy schedule.

I do you know what I mean? Yeah. So Yeah.

So before we run out of time, let me let me just you've come with

a gift, and so I want you to tell us about that.

Not so today, I do not have a a

gift, because we are making some changes in the

business. But I will say that for anyone that is looking for

additional information, around some pieces in

their business or just honestly how to get organized and how to

simplify things down, they're actually gonna wanna go to,

whitenerpros.com. So it's someone that I've with. We're doing a lot of

business strategy and operational, progression pieces together, and

we are actually putting together some goal setting journals that we are gonna be

able to share and things like that off of, her website. So I'm super

excited about that piece, but it's just currently kind of

unfolding. But as you know, as far as my business, and I know we had

kind of talked about this before, we're transitioning and it's something

that I'm super excited about for 2024 and 2025. I

know I emailed you about this earlier this year, you know, was that I got

sick and tired of trying to be the one to build all the things. And

I started figuring out what really meant something to me and

collaboration and working with amazing people alongside is

where I feel like I thrive. And I think that that's a huge important thing

for a lot of people that are listening to hear and understand.

No one way of doing business is the correct way. The way that

you want to do it is the correct way, and we have to remember that.

I'm a very multipassionate person, so sticking to one

niche never has worked for me, and I knew that. And so trying to put

myself in that box has not worked for me. And for some people, it

really does, and I love people that can do that. But it's really understanding

who you are and how you operate to be able

to decide those things and then be able to have a trajectory forward.

So we're gonna put that link in in the information. And as Kat

comes up with some other stuff, we'll update that. So you're gonna wanna come back

and see it. You if I'm correct, you're you don't

actually do any events, right, or workshop? Not

currently. Not currently. I have to say that you you're gonna wanna

reach out and book a call with her, because

she is a fabulous person to talk to, and she is an amazing

referral partner. And, you know, I was on her

podcast I don't know how long ago. And I don't

know if you want me to tell people this. I think, you know but but

she has sent me some amazing referrals, and so that is worth

its weight in gold right there. Somebody that remembers

you and thinks about you and goes, oh, this is a good match. And

she is when she said I do this, I was like, yeah. That's what

everybody says. And within the, you know, in

in the next, like, 2 weeks, she had sent me 3 or 4 people to,

you know, to follow-up with. So she is, you know,

true to her word. So when was the

last time that you did something for the first time? Oh my

goodness. Spot. Last time. Something for the first time. I I really

haven't think about this now. I don't

know. Oh, I you know what? I will tell you something I did for the

first time, and a lot of people will probably laugh, but I've shared this

story online. So, for any of your your viewers that are

interested, give you a quick backstory. So I was in an abusive relationship for 10

years. I've taken care of people since I was, like, 12. I'm the oldest of

3 girls as well. So, I've never actually

traveled anywhere on my own because I've always taken care of kids. Once I

got out of my abusive relationship, it was me and my 2 boys.

And so actually a few months ago, I

traveled like 2 and a half hours away from my

home. And I spent 2 days with, another business partner

who had an event that she was doing. She was the speaker that was there.

And so I got to actually go there. I stayed at a hotel by my

self. I've never done that before. So yes, I am 36. And that's the first

time that I have ever, taken it, but I

it's, I've always taken care of other people and my children and things like that.

That hasn't been a part of my life. So that is something new that I

got to do. And it was a lot of fun. I think I, sang myself

until I was hoarse as I was driving to the hotel, and the people

driving next to me probably thought I was crazy because I was dancing in my

car down the interstate. Well, it's somebody

gave me that question, and I went, oh. And I think the

reason that I put it out there on each podcast is we should try we

should be adventures and try something new for the first time,

you know, whenever we can, whether it is you try a new dish or you

travel or whatever. I think it it it lights your soul

up. And so I am really sad to say that

we have gotta wrap this up. And so the couple things that

I wanna do is remind you that, the information is gonna

be in the notes and that we're gonna we'll update that if

we, you know, if other things come up. But, you know, we wanna make sure

that you subscribe and share and engage with the podcast on social

media. And I'm doing the podcast because it's a way for me to

help build community and to help fuel your quest for growth and

an impact. So I am so glad that you joined me for that and

that, you know, it it comes out every week, and I hope that, you

know, you have learned you have enjoyed listening

to each episode and diving into the world of bold vision

and innovative possibilities. So the other

thing, Pat, is if you have a

quote or something that you like to to say to people all the time,

your last words of inspiration or innovation for

us? My last words of inspiration. I always got something to say.

Just yeah. Anyway, I would I would say

that and this has been a a

huge lesson for me and something I love to remind myself and other people

of is it's not as hard as you

think that it is. We create complexities

around our world because we're raised in a world where things are supposed

to be complex. But when you let go and you

follow, it's not as complicated as you

think it is. That's amazing. That's amazing. And and

and I think you're absolutely right that

simple can be very powerful. Mhmm.

And so I add to that that change can be simple, but it is

doesn't mean that it's always easy. And I think it takes a certain amount of

courage to do something that you've never done before. So that's what I want

you to remember, that it's it requires courage, resilience.

And I think that that's the thing that makes life worth

living is that you can change and get closer and get better

to what you want. So join me again for the the one small

change as we embark on this journey together. And

until the next time, try to stay curious.