Having anxiety is a very normal response that can help you stay focused and prepared for what is to come. But when anxiety starts to hinder our ability to thrive, how can we help ourselves? In Episode 6 of Finding Your Balance: A Mental Health Podcast presented by Peace River Center and Southeastern University, Kirk and Tiffani share tips on how to break the negative spiral of anxiety and instead use it to help you prepare for life’s challenges.

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Hi there. If you're listening for the first time, welcome. I'm Tiffany Fritchie. I

am a licensed mental health counselor and my co -host, Kirk Fasshauer, licensed

clinical social worker. And this is a time where Kirk and I get together and we

dive in about topics related to mental health, the ways to reduce the stigma. Kirk

and I are both practitioners in the field, and we love getting together and talking,

but we also of helping people better understand mental health and better understand

how to support their community. So today we're discussing anxiety. So Kirk, tell me

a little bit about why anxiety is such a big topic right now for kids and also

for young adults. - Well, we've all went through a major event where quite honestly,

you couldn't see it, feel it, really touch it. And that was the COVID pandemic. And when something like that happens, and then we had this huge shut down of a lot of things that were way beyond our control. And when start, we as humans start to feel that loss of control, our anxieties go up. And that creates a whole bunch of other conditions and

things to be anxious about. Anxiety as a whole is we're built to be anxious.

We're built to have that mechanism within us, and that's how we've survived. We've

had, it's called the fight, fight, fight, flight, or freeze response.

And if years ago we were trapping through the woods and we came across the tiger,

we had some choices to make. We could fight that tiger, right? And if we fought

the tiger and won, we got a nice fur coat and then tiger meat for lunch. Or we

ran, fled the situation and hopefully you can run faster than a four -legged tiger

if not faster than the buddy standing next to you.

But then there's the freeze response, and we know the freeze response because it

doesn't just happen to humans. It happens with the animal kingdom because we have

certain phrases like, "Oh, they look like a deer in headlights." Well, yep, there

you go. There's a freeze response right there. The deer is all of a sudden blinded

by the lights and shocked by this oncoming object. They don't even truly understand.

And so they freeze. And so this happens a lot. And if you ever want to see the

freeze response run amok, as I like to say, you have to look up fainting goats.

These poor little goats, this is what they were bred for. They were actually bred

to be sacrificed for the herd. So if a predator was coming into the area,

these goats just freeze up and they fall over and so that as the herd is running

away, you get the one sacrifice. So with anxiety, I know it's one of those things

where there is this sense of, you know, typical anxiety that, you know,

we all kind of face, right? So there are going to be ups and downs during the

day. Some, you know, moments in our life are incredibly stressful and there is that

level of anxiety that is very common. And I think the hard part is identifying,

well, where does this anxiety sort of cross a boundary or a threshold where it's

not typical, it's not normal for me, it's not healthy for me, it's not benefiting

me. And so when I think of, like, well, what is even a beneficial anxiety, I

think, well, you know, at night, whenever I'm getting ready for bed, I set my alarm

clock, right? I make sure that I have enough time to get ready. If I've got a big

report or if I've got a big event coming up, I'm going to look over that email

one more time. I'm going to proofread and then proofread again. So there is that

level of nervousness of, I want to make sure I get this right. And that can be

helpful. It helps you to keep track of your speedometer so you're not speeding. It

helps you make sure you take a shower so your hygiene is good. But Then there is

a point where it becomes unhelpful and even unhealthy, and I think a lot of people

who might be listening might wonder, "Well, if I'm monitoring myself, if I'm worried,

is this typical anxiety, is this unhelpful, where do we see that line get crossed?"

Right, right. It's different for everybody. Certain folks have a tolerance level,

if you will, different coping mechanisms, all of that stuff we can talk a little

bit more about. But you're right, anxiety is a normal response.

I would hope that if a car is coming at you at 100 miles an hour, you have some

anxiety because that's a good kind of anxiety. It helps you to get out of the way.

It helps you to do those things, those goals and directives you set for yourself.

So kind of building off of what you talked about, you know, let's say you as a

student have an exam coming up, well, it's okay to worry about the exam because

that's going to motivate you to study. Where it starts to filter into not so

healthy is where, okay, I've got to study and you study and you study again and

you study again and you're like, "I don't have enough," and it keeps you awake,

you don't eat. So like you said, you set the clock to make sure you're up early

in time. So that's a good motivator. "Hey, let me set up the clock." Well, then

it's like, "Oh, the clock has stopped a couple of times. I'm not really sure. Let

me check it again." Okay, some more anxiety. And then next, you know, you try to

relax and sleep, but you're worried. Your mind doesn't shut off and it keeps. So

when it becomes excessive or even inappropriate worry,

this clock has always worked, but I'm worried because the last clock I had two

years ago stopped one time and I missed the getting into class in time and then

therefore I failed the test. So now you start to catastrophize the situation and

making it a lot worse than it could actually be. I mean, it's a test, you're gonna

fail it? Okay, you fail it if you, or maybe it'll do really well. I mean, you pay

attention in class and things like this, but the good anxiety moves you to make

things happen.

Anxiety doesn't go away, okay? There's a level of anxiety with all of us. You and

I, Tiffani, we have anxiety. We had anxiety coming in here today. Let's talk about

the topic of the day. Let's worry about this. Okay, did we get everything right?

And even as we're talking now, we're probably feeling a little anxiety because it's

like, "Ah, is this just right? Are we getting the message across the way we hope?"

But that's what moves us to say, "Okay, let's check the boxes in our head about,

okay, this is the area we're going to cover on this," and stuff like that. So for

anybody anybody out there, anxiety can be a good thing. It does debilitate us,

though, where it starts to become excessive in nature,

where, like I said, you study, you overstudy, you overthink it.

Well, I think it's a balance, right? So there's this level of emotional regulation

where we can do hard things and It can be in stressful situations, but do we have

the coping skills? Do we have the support systems? Even when there's pressure on one

area from these resources, there's also support in that area. And I think sometimes

where we find that decline is where there's pressure on that one area and the

pressure gets so heavy that there's no support system in place that keeps things

balanced. Right, right. So one of the things when it starts to hit home is,

especially as you're transitioning from home going to college, it's that separation.

The folks start to worry about, "Hey, I'm going to be away from my parents now.

I've got my own structure," but while that's exciting and thrilling, at the same

time it's daunting and scary because, yeah, now I'm the master of my own schedule,

ha -ha, it's what I always wanted and, okay, now what do I do? All right, and the

balance is off. And the balance is off, so you try to get that. There might be

specific things people become worried about, and there's kind of two levels. There

might be specific things you're worried about, which are much more falls into the

realms of phobias. For a lot of folks, folks may have heard of phobias before, fear

of heights, fear of clowns, fear of water, fear of whatever.

I mean, there's a long list we could go for about phobias. The social phobias are

a big thing, especially when you're transitioning from home into college life because

one of the things, we practice in high school, that social life.

And we have a frame of reference from which to go off of and then people go their

separate ways and now that social support that you once had may not be there.

So when anxiety starts to flood a person and when I mean flood that the emotions

are there and they become dysregulated a little bit, what happens is they start to

pull back, maybe isolate and so they appear shy and intimidated by what's happening.

And again, it's about change, you know? It's about being socially accepted.

I've got a new set of friends and maybe the old bag of tricks that you had in

high school are not working now in the semi -adult life of college.

And then even further into adulthood, that bag of tricks may not be working, and so

you've got to try to find different ways to do that. On top of that, you're going

to a new place, you know, trying anything new, taking that risk. It's not only a

courageous act, but it's very anxiety -provoking. Well, and you're not alone if you

have this. The CDC has stats out from 2016 to '19 that say,

you know, 5.8 million people, ages three to 17, have a diagnosed anxiety disorder,

right? More than that, you know, possibly have symptoms and they're not diagnosed.

I'm going into, you know, the older ages, you know, six to 17, you know, the

numbers are high. Early adulthood, it's a stressful time in and of itself.

You know anxiety and depression. It's hard to focus and I think sometimes people are

wondering we're like What what does anxiety feel like? What does it look like? And

I know that you've you know expressed kind of you know that

Really big Fear about something that's not life -threatening if there is a tiger if

there's a car absolutely that is a Healthy reaction, but if there's not a tiger if

there's not a car, this very big reaction to something that's not life -threatening.

And I think what's helpful is kind of understanding, you know, that cognitive

triangle that is therapists, you know, we know very well, how your feelings influence

your thoughts, and how your thoughts influence your behavior. And so kind of digging

into that, so some physical symptoms that we might feel, right? You know, other

people on the outside looking and they're not going to know, but you might have

that rapid heart beat, you might sweat, you might have trouble breathing, I can

vividly remember the first time I ever spoke in front of a class, I knew my heart

was beating so fast that other people could hear, but just that overwhelming sense,

I work primarily with children and teens and what we find sometimes is for them,

anxiety might come in stomach aches, nausea, dizziness,

muscle tension. A common one is low energy, just feeling exhausted,

right? Sometimes, you know, shaking, jittery, all of these things. So then those are

the physical symptoms. Moving into cognitive symptoms, we've talked about, you know,

worry, negative thoughts. And not just, I might fail this test, I might fail this

test because I'm terrible and if I fail this test I'm gonna fail the class and

then I'm gonna get kicked out of school and then I'm never gonna have a job and

no one's gonna be my friend and no one will love me and I'm gonna die alone and

that spiral that can happen and you don't even know you're in it because it's just

so quickly moving and overwhelming and so I know sometimes you know it's hard to to

even know you're there Sometimes I see trouble concentrating, sometimes I see trouble

staying focused, and so if you know, there is a test, if there is an assignment,

staying focused on completing it can be really hard, and if you're having difficulty

that can create another spiral of "I can't do this and I can't stay focused and

I'm gonna fail" and that feeling of failure can really drive anxiety in an unhealthy

way. So then moving from physical and cognitive thinking to behavioral,

exactly what you just said, that sometimes shyness and that can present in avoidance,

avoiding places, avoiding situations, even avoiding the thing that they're supposed to

do. It's not uncommon that freeze of knowing that you have a test,

of knowing that you have a project, and instead of doing it sleeping, or instead of

doing it watching TV, and knowing while you're sitting there, I really should be

doing something else, but you can't. - Right, and people have a different perception

of what that freeze is. It is a lockup, but it's a lockup that can appear

functional, 'cause I'm just avoiding work, or the lovely word procrastinate.

You You know, it's so locked up. So, you know,

another real -world example is what happened for me. I have terrible test anxiety.

I get the knowledge down on all of this, but when you put me in front of a test,

I start to lock up and I have the mental blocks. So it took me several years To

even get my license because of the the daunting test and of course you hear people

Going to take the the state licensure exam and the the horror stories that came

from that that just fed the anxiety beast that Really debilitated me for the longest

time. So at that point It wasn't getting me what I wanted my goal was to to

eventually get the license and it took some time to eventually work on that

particular anxiety. So it's not unusual and when it locks you up from getting to

the thing you want, that's where professional help comes into play. That's where you

go out and you seek because friends and family may not understand and you may be

embarrassed to even talk to them about that situation Because,

what do you mean, you know this stuff, and they're being helpful, but at the same

time, it does still feed that anxiety beast because it's saying,

"Pick yourself up. You should be able to get over this." But there's that inner

voice that's playing, and it seems to dominate your thought process.

So for my experience, I mean, yeah, I was talking to a therapist.

I didn't need medication, but sometimes people may need medication to help take the

edge off so they can start to focus and come up with a plan. For me, it was

talking through, it was the prep work for the test,

and then For me, one of my coping mechanisms to reduce anxiety is certain forms of

music.

And I just remember for my prep for the state exam to be licensed,

I listened to the soundtrack from Pan's Labyrinth. If you know that movie, it's A,

it's a very good movie. Second of all, the soundtrack is phenomenal, And the one

piece of music that really helped me get through it was the lullaby from Pan's

Labyrinth. And it still runs in my head every so often,

which is great because it's a comforting kind of sound. So that's one way people

can start to help themselves is, okay, can I break this down? And again,

you might need somebody to help guide you through this, a good friend or a

therapist, somebody professional to reach out to and sit there and break it down

into the smaller task. And sometimes that can get worse because you're looking at,

"Well, it's so simple. I feel stupid." No. Yeah. You're trying to break through this

one thing, this quagmire that has locked you up. How do you chip away at it?

Well, You know there are ships that break through the the ice in the north pole

and in the south pole You know to to get to their destinations and they chip away

at it a little at a time So it's a slow moving process But you're moving forward.

Yeah, and I think sometimes just that how do I get Started with moving forward a

couple of things to remember with anxiety. It's it's uncomfortable, but it's not

dangerous. It's uncomfortable, but we can do hard things if we know how to move

forward. And so, the symptoms of anxiety as Kirk was talking about fight -flight or

freeze, those are the fight -or -flight responses. And I think sometimes the first

step in understanding how do I move forward is really starting at the beginning,

understanding what is causing me to feel anxious and that means labeling what we

call your triggers. So what is kind of instigating this emotional response?

And it's different for different people. You know, in Kirk's example, that test,

taking a test, the pressure of taking that test might be a trigger. For other

people it might be something different. It might be public speaking. It might be,

you know, meeting new friends. It might be Being in a new place. It could be

anything and I think sitting down and being honest about What is causing me to feel

anxiety when I feel scared or nervous what's around me? Am I worried about something

that hasn't even happened yet? Maybe something in the future? How is my body

responding to this because you know your body keeps the score your body? knows what

is happening even if your brain isn't quite there yet and so another thing sometimes

especially you know if you are very motivated academically is wondering do I do I

take on things more than I can handle or do I have unrealistic expectations of what

I can accomplish am I worried that I won't be able to handle if something happens

so just being honest about those triggers I think that's a good start And then

moving from there, some things you can't prevent even if you are very prepared.

So knowing which coping skills, so like Kirk mentioned, having the music or having

something that works for you. So Kirk, just for the good of maybe someone who's in

a situation to where they're feeling some anxiety, not quite sure if it's crossing

that threshold or not, what are some good tricks I guess to help someone regulate

in those short moments. - Right, so I think it goes back to something you just

mentioned Tiffani, and that is stop for a moment, let's evaluate what's going on,

okay? Take stock of what's going, what's happening, and then take an observation of

what's going on. It's called the stop method.

So you're observing, okay, what's going on with my body, my heart's racing, okay,

how can I calm that down? Deep breathing exercises.

Have I eaten today? Because sometimes, you know, our blood sugar gets off and that

creates its own anxiety. There's a physical need going on there that now is

triggering off the anxiety as well.

And then, you know, then proceed. Once you've made a mindful decision to go forward

with something. Go forward with it. Now, did I make the right decision?

What if I make the bad decision? That's how we learn.

We're going to be making some bad decisions. Now, hopefully, they're not life

-threatening bad decisions, but there are decisions that, OK, we try to pick yourself

up easier said than And it hits hard when you have what is perceived as that major

failure. And that's, again, part of the fear that comes from the anxiety. So taking

that moment to take that step back, what is it that's causing me this anxiety?

Do I have control over it? I think you mentioned the word control, which is very

important here. We sometimes get ourselves all worked up over things we have

absolutely no control over whatsoever.

And if we have control, then make the change.

Make it work for you. For me, like I said, it was I had to stop,

take stock. Okay, I do know this stuff. I do know the material. There are going to

be some hard questions. I am not going to score 100%. That is not my goal.

My goal is to pass, okay? And nobody's gonna care about what the score is. They're

gonna care that I have the license. They're gonna care that I have passed this

test. They're gonna, that's really where it is. And even after you've taken the exam

or taken that course, we're still learning. I mean, I've been in the field 35

years, 35 plus years, and I'm still learning about this stuff, which is great.

That's what I love about the work is we're dealing with people and how to engage

in these kinds of relationships and work with stuff. Talk with folks about anxiety

disorders. Be careful. A big warning here. Be careful what you're watching on social

media because we typically want to have a frame of reference of where am I normal? And if

you're using that as your frame of reference, be careful. I'm not telling you not

to watch that stuff. It's kind of fun to watch. I tend to binge watch occasionally

myself. Well, and I think just to kind of point harder at that point,

if you eat junk food, your body's going to feel icky, right? If you eat healthy

food, your body's going to be fueled. You're fueling your mind with everything that

you know, with your mind. And so if you were constantly on social media, constantly

comparing yourself to others, you're feeding yourself junk food. - Well, absolutely.

But the, and even more important is the fact that that is the moment of their

success that you're seeing. You don't see the build up to a lot of that.

There are a few things that happen, boom, instantaneously. They've had to work

Towards that people see me do public speaking and they think oh my god, you do so

wonderful Well that that's years of practice that's years of having done it. It's

not that first time I went up there I well I felt A) felt horrible B) I Stumbled

all over the place and all over my words and now it's just I've done it so often

that it gets to a point where there's certain techniques and certain things that

I've done and learned over the years with how I present to make it look effortless.

- Well, in comparing someone's highlight reel to your daily glow is always gonna

leave you feeling disappointed. - Absolutely. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, so it's

having those friends around you, family kind of reminding you of your successes

because you do have those successes, and sometimes it is hard to hear when you're

24:40

in that pit for the moment, but there are cheerleaders for your efforts and

cheerleaders for your cause, and there will also be naysayers. You're always going to

have both.

Sometimes in as we hear the, the, the naysayers far more than we hear the

cheerleaders. So gather your cheerleaders and have some fun with it,

you know. So wrapping up when we think about anxiety, it's a lot of things, but it

is that overwhelming emotional response in most cases to something that is not life

threatening. Sometimes it is life-threatening and when it is, there's a different set of

skills. But if it's, if you're not in crisis, if it's a non -life -threatening

situation, really take stock in knowing you're not alone. There are resources there

to support you. The first step is acknowledging that you're feeling that way. And

the second step is reaching out for help. And maybe the help is, you know, eating

lunch, reaching out to a friend. Maybe the help is reaching out to a professional

who is trained in this particular thing. So locally, Peace River Center is a

community mental health agency and we would be glad to see how we can support you

or someone you love. But Kirk, what about nationally? Where can someone reach out

for support? Well, they can tap into the new number, the 988 number,

especially for those individuals who are on the more suicidal side,

thoughts of death, that kind of side, but you can call 98 or you can call 211 to

find out other local resources in your area that may be available to help you, such

as we have Peace River Center, a community mental health organization that provides

all sorts of supports for this kind of thing. You can even Google online for

anxiety support groups. There are support groups out there that are very beneficial

and help folks Get through it because you're not alone and that that's what I love

about the group movement is that You're able to go into a room and see oh, there's

12 other people that are feeling similar to me And then they start sharing their

stories and you hear hey, I'd do that too What did you do to get out of it.

And some of those things may work for you, some of them may not. But again, it's

testing out what works for you, you know, meditation. For me, it was the music that

helped bring me there, which is sort of a meditative process.

Visualization or guided imagery is out there. Those are the things that help reduce

some of the stress and anxiety you may experience through a lot of this. I know

Some students will listen to music while they study as the background, and there are

studies out there that certain forms of music really help you to focus and retain

some of that material. So all of that is really good stuff to have in your tool

belt as you go forward. So I want to say thank you. Thank you for having this

talk today.

We hope you enjoyed our show, And if you did, please hit that like and subscribe

button. If you have any struggles emotionally, please call us here in Central Florida

at 863 -519 -3744. Or if you're hearing us on a national level,

dial 988.