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E194 | How to Handle Bad Referee Calls Without Losing Your Mind
Episode 19421st July 2026 • Tapped In: A JiuJitsu Podcast • David Figueroa-Martinez
00:00:00 00:17:32

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About the Episode

In this episode of Tapped In, Coach David Figueroa Martinez tackles one of the most frustrating aspects of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu competitions: dealing with bad referee calls. Drawing from personal experiences as both a competitor and an occasional in-house referee, David breaks down the stark reality of the human element officiating our sport. He challenges the common habit of blaming referees, offers structural advice on why you should never leave a match close enough for a call to matter, and explains the critical role a coach plays as an advocate at the edge of the mat. Whether you are a white belt preparing for your first tournament or a seasoned coach guiding students, this episode provides actionable strategies to build mental resilience when a match doesn't go your way.

3 Key Takeaways

  • The Referee is Human: Officiating BJJ is incredibly difficult due to complex rule interpretations, fatigue, and split-second actions. Expecting perfection is a losing battle; accepting the human element keeps you grounded.
  • Don't Swim in the Margins: If a single referee decision costs you the match, your strategy was too close. Aim for undeniable dominance or clean submissions to take the power out of the official's hands.
  • Your Coach is Your Advocate: The competitor should never argue with the referee. A cornered coach acts as the strategic shield, monitoring the score table and correcting errors so the athlete can focus entirely on the fight.

Chapters & Timestamps

  • 00:00 - The Reality of Refereeing BJJ
  • 01:54 - The Chaos of In-House Tournaments
  • 03:22 - Personal Stories: The Slam and the Bracket Mix-Up
  • 05:43 - The Trap of Arguing with Officials
  • 07:02 - The Myth of "Dominating to Avoid the Ref"
  • 08:44 - Tactical Drills: Training for Adversity and Deficits
  • 10:48 - The Crucial Value of having a Corner Coach
  • 13:00 - Protecting the Sport: Curbing Mat Tantrums
  • 14:55 - Outro and Contact Information

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David Figueroa-Martinez

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Full Episode Transcript

**** Welcome to Tapped In. My name is David Figueroa Martinez of DFM Coaching, and today we're going to be discussing handling bad calls during competition. We have to really understand that being a referee is one of the hardest jobs that you can have, regardless of the sport. There is so much moving on. Sometimes the rules can be interpreted one way or the other. Sometimes you've been refereeing all day long. Sometimes you're just, like everybody else, you're having a bad day. You might have interpreted a certain act one way versus another, and it can get really wonky at some point. It is a job that I want no part of. I did it once at an in-house. I didn't want to do it at all, but I got like, pushed into the role, and they asked me to do it. I am not super versed in the rule set of a Jiu-Jitsu competition to be reffing anything, much less one at an in-house. But, that's what was chosen, and I tried to do the best job.

**** And just from that one perspective, it was an in-house, and people were yelling at people. An in-house, an in-house is supposed to be friendly, if you've never been to one. It is usually something within either the academy or friendly academies, or academies that are part of the same association. So you get in there, it's supposed to be a cheaper route and a good spot for students who maybe have never competed before or have anxiety about competing on a bigger competition setting. They can do it at an actual gym. They pair you up accordingly, and it's a little less stressful. Quote-unquote, a little less stressful. And, but they get pretty heated sometimes. And the refs are being yelled at, depending on what school you're at. I was at a gym with a lot of Brazilians, no offense, but it's Brazilians get hot. And you get yelled at. And I don't even think it was meant to be disrespectful, it's just passionate about their athlete and which way a call went. I never want to referee again, ever. So, I respect people who decide that they want to do that role and they want to jump into that. I personally, I'm going to pass.

**** But there's a big human element to all refereeing, whether it's at the highest level, local tournament, or an in-house. Sometimes mistakes get made. And sometimes you are in this idea that, hey, this happened to me, and maybe you look back at the tape and, if you're fortunate enough with an organization that is willing to look at tape, then maybe things can get reversed or some fix can be done. But often times, what happens happens, and it just is what it is. And there is no amount of arguing about it, there's no amount of pleading that's ever going to really fix it. Because once the call is made, there's no going back to the situation and getting the perfect momentum and timing and placing and everything to really fix it. It's just, the match is what it is. I remember two specific situations. One happened to me, and one happened to a student of mine. To me, I was at a—man, I don't remember the name anymore—Jiu-Jitsu Sub Con, something like that, local. And this person was going for a takedown, I pulled guard. In my opinion—I don't have it on tape—I was lifted and slammed back down. Personally, I felt like it was a lift and a slam, and he should have been DQ'd or penalized in some way. The referee felt completely different. We're in there, and I got slammed really hard. Like, to the point where I felt this slam a month or two later. Like, my sense of time is shit, and I've said that several times, but I remember a good time later, I was still in a little bit of pain. And these mats, yes, they'll take some of the shock away and some of the impact away, but they are not spring-loaded mats. They are on top of a basketball court, so any kind of slams you're going to feel for a while. And the referee felt like, no, it is what it is. I didn't argue with him. I stated my case. We went back and forth briefly, very respectful. He felt like it was one way, I felt like it was another. He gave me a moment to kind of like, catch my breath and gather my thoughts, and then he started us back up on our feet, and we went at it. I remember strangling this poor man—and I say poor man just because I have never strangled somebody out of anger in training or rolling—and in this event, I felt like I was wronged, and I felt like he was unsafe, and I was pissed. And I remember going through it, taking his back in some weird scramble, and as we're moving around, I'm getting my choke in place. And I remember strangling the fuck out of him. Like, I have never strangled somebody that hard before. Um, and it worked out. So, but I don't think I should have been slammed anyway, but it worked out. Ended up winning, I believe, both of my matches, getting gold.

**** And then a student of mine, he was in a tournament, and they kind of messed up the brackets after they started. And something didn't add up, and I don't remember the exact details. We started talking about it at the table, and something just didn't add up, and we're like, well, he should have been here because he won his first match, and he should have been there, and they just kind of messed it up. And again, I've worked tables before, it is not a fun environment, and you're trying to get all the things right. And sometimes you don't have it all down, and you miss someone's name or you attribute a win to the wrong person. Things are getting better, so it doesn't happen as often. But those were two incidents that I remember where we were like, it was a pretty big mistake in my opinion. And it just is what it is, we kind of accepted it. I've never been one to like, start yelling at refs and the table workers. I don't feel like that's the place, and I don't think it sets the right standard. It doesn't set the right example for you or your student or for the academy and the association. I think it's a really bad look. I've seen it done. I've seen people yell at referees. I've seen coaches get mad at bad calls and just berate people. Berate! And at the end of the day, we're at—we're not the Worlds. Most of us are not at the Worlds, and even then, it shouldn't be happening. It's a local tournament, it's an in-house. Like, there's no need to wreck someone's day because points were awarded the wrong way or a certain way that shouldn't have happened. We're all wronged, and I get it, and it shouldn't have happened, and it should be fixed somehow if possible, but that isn't always the case.

**** So our goal has to be to kind of prepare for it. Understand that when you compete, whether you are watching the NFL on the highest stage, whether you're watching the gold medal round in the Olympics for hockey, baseball, basketball—it doesn't matter. If you've watched long enough, you've seen that calls are just going to get called sometimes, and they don't always go your way or your team's way. And it is just part of the sport. In terms of like, Jiu-Jitsu, very rarely are there any kind of video replays to demonstrate what side it should have gone to. And we just sort of have to understand that it's part of the equation. And one thing that some people often will say is, if you don't want the referee to be part of the action, dominate the round to the point where they can't make any calls against you. Submit them whenever possible, be dominant, be in dominant positions, don't get swept, don't even get near being swept. But that's a tall bar. Like, it's not realistic. Because if we wanted to win all our rounds like that, we would. But that's not a fair or realistic approach to the situation. You're going to have rounds that are really close. And passing someone's guard and getting into that position, and they count to two, two and a half, and the person gets a knee back in, you think it was three, they think it's not, or they award the points to a sweep that you feel like, no, well, I got up and, you know what I mean? It's bound to happen.

**** And the best thing that we can do is just start to face with that reality, and maybe even train with that reality. Train with the idea that, hey, sometimes the calls are not going to go your way. Um, there are times when I put people in the worst positions possible. We're training and I'm like, alright, and I point to someone, you are going to start in bottom of mount. Something happened, you got a deficit, this is where you're starting. Um, sometimes I tell people you can't use this tool or that tool. And I understand that's not specific to this, but it's specific to understanding sometimes the rounds are just not going to be fair for you. Sometimes rounds are not going to go in your favor. The referee decisions are going to hamper you. Sometimes you're going to get to the rounds and maybe you were slightly injured in the previous round, and now you're—you've advanced and you're now playing from a deficit physically. So it's—I think it's a benefit to put yourself in these mental hurdles or these mental deficits where you have to understand that, hey, shit will never be 1v1, my 100% versus their 100%. The other thing you can do is start having these like, mock tournaments or mock rounds where you have a referee. And maybe the referee isn't the most experienced, and that's kind of what you want. You want them to have to go out there, and they'll shake hands, and they'll go back to their corner or their area of the mat. You set the timer, you say combate, go, and you go about it. And this referee that you set up isn't the greatest referee, and they're going to make mistakes. Maybe they make mistakes on purpose. And then you make your athlete have to kind of understand, I cannot necessarily hope that everything's going to go right. And maybe that puts a fire under them, maybe they get used to understanding that, hey, sometimes these calls are just going to be fucked. And I'm going to have to make do with what I have, and then start really becoming maybe more aggressive, maybe sharper, more in tune with the sway of the round and the momentum, and understanding, okay, things are going against me, I got to change something up and make decisions that are super critical in the moment because your opponent got awarded four points for a back take that you don't think should have been awarded. It's not the greatest. I think that maybe training in these areas is going to be a benefit, and it's going to kind of help students understand and adjust to the things that are just going to happen, sort of.

**** Um, at the end of the day, my opinion is the athlete should never have that conversation with the ref. Um, let me backtrack. Not never. I don't believe they should. I think it's really it should be up to the instructor or the coach that's there to coach that athlete. Let that be your advocate, and I think it's one of the reasons why I hate watching tournaments or being at tournaments and seeing an empty chair for an athlete. Uh, not just that they don't have an in-person coach who's getting them psyched up or telling them to mellow down when they need to, or maybe cracking a joke when things get really tense in between rounds, but you don't have an advocate. You don't have an instructor that'll chime in and be like, hey ref, you just missed those points. Or, the ref called the points but they weren't awarded at the score table. And then that coach can step in, hey ref just scored four for my athlete, what's going on? And then it'll be like, oh shit, yeah you're right. Like, that's the job of the coach. To step in when there needs to be a voice for that athlete. They are going to generally be more experienced, they're going to have more of a knowledge base of what should occur. Often times you got a white belt out there or a blue belt who hasn't competed or hasn't competed much. That is, you know what I mean? You can't expect them to be the athlete and be their own advocate. Possible, yes, but I don't think it's fair. So it's one of the reasons why I hate, hate going to these tournaments and seeing empty tables or empty chairs. It sucks. It really sucks. Because we all need that coach who will pat us on the back or give us like, a little bit of uplifting words when we come off the mat, and whether we legitimately lost a round or the call went against us and we're like, confused why this happened, what's going on.

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