This podcast episode dives deep into the concept of mindset, specifically how the stories we tell ourselves shape our perceptions and realities. Todd and Mark explore the idea of "telephobia," which is the fear of not being good enough, and how it manifests in various aspects of life, from personal development to coaching. They emphasize the importance of writing down our stories to externalize and reorganize our thoughts, allowing for a clearer understanding and the possibility of transformation. By slowing down our speech and incorporating breath into our storytelling, we can shift from being participants in our narratives to observers, gaining new perspectives on our challenges. The conversation is rich with insights on how to celebrate wins, recognize victim mentality, and ultimately empower ourselves to create a healthier, more constructive inner dialogue.

Mark England has a degree in International Education and was formerly an elementary school PE teacher at an International School. He did this while chasing his dreams of becoming a pro fighter in Thailand, where he moved to study Muy Thai. After facing a serious knee injury and multiple surgeries Mark developed a serious victim mentality that he wasn't sure he would ever shake.

After attending an Emotional Detox seminar, he was introduced to the principles of getting your story out on paper, slowing it down, changing your words, freeing up your breath, and overcoming the limiting beliefs to begin telling a more empowering story.

Since, he has studied with some of the major behavior change theories and theorists to develop his program at Enlifted where he is the co-founder and head coach certifying over 350 coaches who have delivered over 10,000 coaching sessions with this method. We talk about how this is done

Takeaways:

• Todd emphasizes the importance of the stories we tell ourselves, stating that mindset is simply the narrative we construct.
• Mark discusses how to shift from a victim mentality to a growth-oriented mindset through celebrating wins and recognizing progress.
• The discussion highlights the significance of breath work in coaching and personal development, particularly in unlocking emotions.
• Todd shares personal experiences of overcoming telephobia, the fear of not being good enough, through active storytelling.
• Mark and Todd agree that writing down one’s story can help create space for clarity and awareness of one’s narrative.
• The episode underscores the need for individuals to recognize and challenge their limiting beliefs to foster personal growth.

Companies mentioned in this episode:

• Enlifted Coaching
• Barbell Shrugged
• CrossFit
• Procabulary
• TED

It's called a telephobia, folks.

Pick up your pen and write that down.

A telephobia.

It's the fear of not being good enough.

They got a problem, and you start scratching that problem, that stuck ness, and you got victim centric stories.

Sitting ducks.

Sitting fucking ducks to the trash talk.

In their own mind, the enlisted definition of mindset is the story that you tell yourself.

I've been doing this one thing for 17 years full time, which is researching, studying, coaching, presenting, and now teaching about the power of our words and stories.

As tough to talk about this stuff.

And it's not a joke.

It's.

It's.

This is one of the most important conversations that you can have, in my personal and professional opinion, as in, what are you telling yourself?

What story are you telling yourself?

And then.

And then how do you make improvements?

Welcome to the evolving potential podcast, episode number nine.

Today I have the pleasure of speaking with Mark Englund.

Mark has a degree in international education and is formerly a elementary school PE teacher.

He was also formerly a fighter, had dreams of going pro, even moved to Thailand to study Muay Thai before facing a serious knee injury and multiple surgeries.

Since then, Mark has shifted into personal development, done a TED talk, and become an international coach, speaker and trainer.

He has co founded Enlifted Coaching, where he is the head coach and has certified more than 350 coaches.

His methods have been used in over 10,000 coaching sessions.

His work centers around our words, our story, and our breath, and he geeks out over language.

Mark's work has helped people overcome victim mentality, imposter syndrome, fear, trauma, indecision and more.

Welcome, Mark.

Thank you, Todd.

Thanks for.

Thanks for listening, everybody.

Thank you for being here.

So, first of all, a lot of people will start with how you got into this, and obviously, I'm very curious about that, but I kind of want to shift gears first and talk about what you're doing now and what the overall mission for coaching is heading into the future.

Those are good questions.

I have a couple of goals.

One of them is, and this.

This answers your, what are we doing now?

So, a lot of.

A lot of what we're doing now is.

Has been us making moves off of our gut instincts and following the breadcrumbs at the same time.

So the certifications, which is the primary everything for their business, they turned five years old in May, and we accidentally launched them.

They launched themselves, really.

So I've been doing this one thing for 17 years full time, which is researching, studying, coaching, presenting, and now teaching about the power of our words and stories.

And it's had a couple of different flags in the first eight years.

I was running it by myself since then, my business partner.

I mean, file a lot of that under stuff you didn't learn in high school, high school English class, and nothing happened.

Nothing happened.

We put that thing out, and nothing happened.

And I could go on a very tangential, interesting story about how we got on the podcast.

We went on a very significant podcast in health and fitness, functional fitness, and specifically CrossFit called Barbell Shrugged.

We went on that show.

I flew from Thailand to Los Angeles to do that podcast live.

And when that show dropped, we got introduced to the fitness industry by the best mouthpiece and CrossFit, and everything changed for us permanently.

Mike Bledsoe, one of the guys on that show, and I became good friends.

And eventually, we decided myself, Mike, and Adam decided to create a course for the fitness industry that's called enlifted.

From this event called paleo effects.

And unbeknownst to us, that was the first cert, and that thing caught and took off.

And then there's cert number three, and now there's cert number 410 people per se.

It was always small groups, and by the time we got to six and seven, Adam and I are looking at us and going, well, this is interesting and way more.

Way more lucrative, because anything would have been way more lucrative than what we were doing initially was, you know, we were on fumes for a couple years.

That happens.

And now we just graduated group 43.

Wow.

So we've graduated 43 groups of level one students, ten at a time, nine weeks long.

And, yeah, I am the head coach of enlifted, and I deliver all of our trainings and those.

The certifications and going on podcast.

This is my 400 411 show that I've.

Crazy that I've guessed it on.

Yeah, I'm gonna do a thousand, dude.

Hell, yeah.

And then I'm never going on another podcast again.

I promise you that.

I'm gonna say that last one for Rogan.

If he's still doing it, if he's still doing it.

I'm gonna save that last one for Rogan and then I'm, I'm never going on another show.

I did a thousand go listen to some of them.

Right?

Yeah.

And, and our students are hungry, man.

They're, they're, they're getting their reps in, they're getting their practice.

They'll, they'll, they'll talk about it better than I do.

So, you know, it's one of those get out of the way things deliver the magic and get out of the way.

It's a good model and so, yeah, that's what we've been doing lately and for the past five years is filling up certs.

And yes, I also, I do come from a education background so lucky me, I'm a very happy guy because I get to teach something that I'm very, to use an overused word, passionate, excited and yes, obsessed about.

I get to meet a lot of cool people on the, on the way, on the path too.

So do you have like any plans on seminars, conferences, anything like that?

Doing it, doing it biggest.

That's, that's another good question.

It's one of our strong suits for sure.

We love presenting.

We're good at it again, love the people that we get to meet.

And we, we also do one event a year.

We're not an events company.

We do it for shits and giggles and to get all the, to get everybody together and as this thing goes, you know, more events, bigger state.

I'm, I'm comfortable talking to three people.

That's, that's, that's a skill that I've developed and yeah, so as the brand grows, so will the opportunities.

Yeah, I was curious about that.

Cause I mean as the head coach you're obviously doing a lot of legwork yourself.

And I think it's amazing.

People that get into some sort of career where they're down, they're totally down to do it until they're old and can hardly walk.

You know, people like Bob Proctor and Brian Tracy.

These guys are on stage at 80, 85, 90.

Doing it, doing it forever.

And so I always get curious about that.

Like people like yourself, you know, if.

Yeah, you make it to Joe Rogan show and you have these big events.

It's like, at some point.

Point, maybe you step back from the head coach rolled and lifted and.

And you're doing something that doesn't cause you to have to do so much legwork.

And so do you see something like that for yourself?

I do.

So, one of the goals, I've already mentioned them is to do a thousand podcasts.

I'm on the way.

By that time, the curriculum for the certs, the ethos, the vibe, the community, it'll be baked.

Baked in, and then there'll be plenty of.

And then.

And it won't be us choosing them so much.

It's.

It's more of the coaches choosing themself because that's coaches.

People choose themselves.

People choose themselves to be successful.

They choose themselves to be unsuccessful.

It's, you know, a lot of it comes down to our stories, and, yeah, there'll be plenty of.

Plenty of coaches to carry on the certifications.

There's some.

There's some other areas that we can take this into essentially any arena that we want to, that people are telling themselves a story to themself, which is the definition of mindset.

We can talk about that later.

So, that's one thing to deliver the first 100 level one certs.

And then also, like you mentioned, those.

Those.

Those old timers, those geezers walking around with canes and shit on stage, gray, bald, wrinkled, looking like prunes and happy about it.

Hap, I would imagine they're happy to be in that.

In the game.

Yeah, that.

At that.

At that age.

Because a lot of people.

A lot of people don't pick a lane that they can.

That they can compete in at a high level for a long period of time.

So, the first thing that I got obsessed about was fighting, and I was a mediocre athlete, and it was.

I was only going to get so far before I hit a wall of competition that it was not going to be pretty.

So, in a real sense, the universe spared me a bunch of ass kickings, and it also forced me into something that I can pour my maniacal nature into and get a way better return from myself and for the people around me than that.

I mean, I was a.

You got to be self centered to be in, like, the not not good kind of self centered to be a.

To be a fighter.

Yeah.

More.

At least I was.

And yes.

So to when did I do that.

I went and I went and did a couple of NLP certifications.

I was gonna ask about that.

Yeah, yeah.

With Richard Bandler in London.

Okay.

No way.

Nice.

Oh, yeah.

No, yeah, I'm no fees certified as well.

Oh, very cool.

I didn't.

Tad James.

Not as cool as Richard bandler.

Yeah, I mean, I went there.

We did.

It's half of the reason I went was to watch him work.

And the thing that I walked out of there with was a question.

So he's.

He's on stage.

And I'm glad that, you know, we can drop f bombs here because that's absolutely.

This is what he said and this is what he did.

He goes, I've been doing this shit for 40 f g years and I'm like six years into my career.

I didn't know it was a career at the time, but I was six years in and I just stared at him and I go, I wonder what that feels like.

And I walked out of there.

And guess what?

There's only one way to answer that question.

In one sense, I was screwed in a good way.

And so we do.

That's ten years in the game.

And this thing has held my attention the whole time.

Thanks, universe.

I was a terrible student because I was bored out of my head.

And this just.

It holds my attention and I mean, even way more than that.

But.

And so I get off stage at TEDx and.

And we knocked that shit out of the park.

It was a major step up in competition for us as far like, you know, competing with yourself as far as a stage is concerned.

And then also in my hometown, at the most beautiful theater that we have, the carpenter center.

And we.

We trained like pros, prepared for three months, walked out there, knocked it out of the park, got off stage, went back to my hotel room and stared, opened the door, locked the door, got on the bed, stared at the wall and the wall like they turned into a movie screen.

And I just saw a bunch of stuff and I go, okay, I commit.

I commit.

I'm gonna do this for 50 years.

I'll be.

Yes, I'll be 80.

I got.

It's in my calendar right now.

I got.

Takes a little while to get down there.

Yeah.

And it's my last day on the job.

And after that, I'm never talking about this stuff ever again.

I'll fight somebody if they try and have a conversation 80 years old and just mean.

But until then, I got, I got stuff to say about words.

Yeah.

And that's crazy.

So, so first of all, how did this Barbell drug company, the podcast, how did they, how do they find you?

You said you're pretty obscure at the time.

You had been doing it for two years.

How did you end up getting this opportunity to fly out to laden?

So strange.

Well, this brings up a conversation about generosity.

And I talked to the students about this, and I'm like, listen, the universe, in my personal and professional opinion, shines down and supports people that have a generous nature.

There.

There's some, there's, there's a warmth to it and, you know, it's just, I mean, whose favorite person is stingy?

You know, when you, when you look at it that way, not many people say, oh, my favorite.

My favorite person is they're just super stingy.

Anyway, I have, from time to time, I have a generous nature.

Nice.

And I get off stage and this guy comes up and he goes, man, that was great.

Do you do one on one sessions?

And I'm like, yes, I do.

He goes, how much are they?

He.

I go, $300 a session.

He goes, man, I bet it's worth way more than that.

And I just don't have it.

You know, we'll, uh, maybe we'll see each other some time.

And I go, uh, I watched him started to walk off and I go, hey, buddy, buy me a coconut.

And we'll go do the thing, like right then and there.

And he goes, okay, so this guy's name's Daniel Raphael.

You're gonna look him up.

He 100,100, 50,000 people on Instagram.

He just sold wizard school.

Oh, yeah.

And so we go do a session, and I'm in Costa Rica at the time, so it's obviously.

And then, and then I'm going to LA for the summer.

He's there.

He does some man on the street recording for me when I was walking down Venice beach boardwalk asking people about Abracadabra and just.

And then he recorded, and I showed him what to do.

I taught him how to coach in the way that we do.

He did a workshop at somebody's house in Encinitas and got somebody out of the.

The crowd, maybe 20 people there, to work on a story about a block they were having.

And it went somewhere where no one was expecting, where it needed to go, which is usually the case.

And the guy had a significant emotional breakthrough and release, and his breath unlocked and saw things different.

And the guy asked him later, he goes, where did you learn how to do this?

And that guy goes, he said my name?

Yeah.

Who's got the best podcast in CrossFit?

It was fate, dude.

They all said.

All five said.

Barbell shrugged, and one of them came back and said, oh, by the way, Mike Bledsoe is aware of you and your work.

Would you like an introduction?

I think I can get it for you.

And I'm like, what the fuck?

And two emails back and forth were on the show, and the rest is history.

That's crazy.

That's crazy.

All right, so let's get.

Let's get into the work then.

So, first of all, you were a fighter and you had a knee injury.

And so I know the story, but the audience does not.

And so talk about, start from there.

You had a knee injury, and then you were dealing with some.

Some victim mentality.

You were obviously hurt emotionally as well as physically, and feeling like your career was over.

And how did.

How did you start to overcome that and make your way into personal development?

Yeah, the story was way worse than.

Than the physical injury.

How do I know that?

Well, because, you know, I went into the kickboxing gym three days ago, and, you know, I.

I can do whatever I want to.

I thought I was the.

I believed what the doctor told me.

And in one sense, he was right.

I mean, I never fought again.

He goes, your career as a fighter is over.

And so me at 27.

Yeah, 27.

I'd only had my passport for two years.

Been out of the country once, and now I'm moving over to Thailand for a year.

I had three going away parties.

It was a big deal.

Very big deal for me.

And so.

Jacked my knee up.

Jacked it up again, jacked it up again.

And then I'm like, oh, God, I need surgery.

So, yeah, I get it.

And then the whole thing stops.

And I use that experience at the time as a.

As a piece of the final piece of damning evidence in a case I was making against myself.

That I was somehow doomed to fail.

I was a born loser.

There was something wrong with me.

Wasn't sure what it was, but it's called a telephobia, folks.

Pick up your pen and write that down.

A telephobia.

It's the fear of not being good enough.

And if you want to get all Tony Robbins about it, he said 95%, and he's either right or close.

95% of everybody's stuff boils down to that.

And so, yeah, darkness descended, and I lit a dumpster fire victim mentality in my head and walked around with it like that for a year.

I didn't laugh.

I didn't laugh for an entire year.

I don't recommend that.

It's a very weird experience.

And once upon a time.

So I lived in Thailand for ten years.

That still sounds strange to say.

Half was.

Half was.

I was an elementary school pe teacher at international school.

The second half, I was a coach at a cleansing and fasting.

So our vice principal comes back from a three day cleanse down at this place called the spa.

It's a great gig.

You go down there and pay them to not eat.

And.

Yeah, and I did.

I did.

I went down and.

And because I was in.

I was a mess.

And he goes, me, man, they're doing some interesting stuff down there.

I think you might like it.

I was like, okay, because I knew I needed to do something different because it was the first time, and I'm not a wise person by any stretch of imagination, but.

But wisdom showed up and tapped me on the shoulder, and I go, and I said, dude, are you gonna be complaining about that whole thing when you're 55?

If you do, I was 27 at the time.

If you do, you really will be a loser.

You really are a loser.

Because I saw that version of myself, and it was not fun.

And so I go, okay, I need to do something different.

Right around that same time, the vice principal came back.

He's like, hey, take a look at this.

And I'm like, okay.

So I go down there and something happens.

I'm like, okay.

And I go back again, and I'm like, okay, yes, I feel better.

And this is.

This is oddly interesting.

And I.

You know, these hippies aren't that weird.

And, I mean, I laughed at the title before I went, because I'm like, I said, not a wise person.

Emotional detoxification.

And I went, gotta show up, folks.

And I met my mentor, guy by the name of Barry Musgrave.

And he talked about words, and he talked about breath, and he talked about stories.

And then he goes, is anybody stuck on a story?

And this woman shot her hand up, and she told.

Proceeded to tell the story of a very public and humiliating breakup.

Essentially.

Her.

Her and her friends went to the beach.

They got a house at the beach, beach week.

And her boyfriend's.

Her boyfriend and his friends got the house next door.

Add alcohol.

Press play.

He hooks up with one of her best friends in front of everybody the night before and then dumps her in front everybody the next night.

Holy sound.

Sound fun?

Yikes, dude.

And.

And she's hella pissed still after four years?

Yeah, because time doesn't apply to the emotional body.

And he had her tell the story three times.

First time through, the story didn't change anything.

Just let her have it.

She's, you know, crying and angry.

And second time through, he.

He started changing some words for her.

She was like.

The story started to loosen up a little bit, and everybody's starting to lean in, like something's happening over there.

Then the third time, he stopped her at the linchpin sentence, the Lord of the Rings sentence, the one that held the whole thing together, the whole thing being her victim mentality about what happened.

And that sentence was, this guy was smart.

He had her slow it down and repeat it three times.

So everybody's staring at the same sentence, the same spell.

Webster's definition of a spell, not mine to word or a combination of words of great influence.

And that sentence was, he did that to me.

Say it again.

He did that to me.

Wonderful.

Say it one more time.

He did that to me.

He goes, that last word.

Take that out and put in himself and talk about a record scratch, because there can be good record scratches, kids.

It was such a change of direction that she stuttered, and then it went into uptalk at the end.

He did that to himself.

And then the breath unlocks.

Good luck changing your mind, or good luck changing your client's mind while their breath is trapped in their chest.

Everybody.

Then the breath unlocks.

He did.

He did do that to himself.

And she started talking about how he lost friends and it was worse for him.

And then finally she goes, that was never gonna work out anyway.

It was actually really weird.

And everybody's, like, looking like this, and I go, that's the second coolest thing I've ever seen in my life.

First time was when I got choked for the first time.

I was a wrestler in high school.

Cool.

You pin me, I pin you.

I mean, like, cool.

The first time I got choked, I was like, oh, that's different.

And I had to learn it, and so I got obsessed.

And then the second time was when I saw that and I was like, that's the second coolest thing I've ever seen.

And I've got a he did that to me story.

He shouldn't have been kicking that hard.

We were just warming up.

And you now have my attention, Barry Musgrave.

And I had no clue what it was gonna turn into again.

This thing reeks of fate from start to finish.

And yeah, man, like I said, I was, I wasn't a bad student in school.

I wasn't a disruptive student in school.

I was a destructive student in school.

I caused problems on purpose and got off on it partly.

And I've.

Now I have a degree in education.

Haha.

And I was a school teacher for five years.

But the two main reasons that I was on purpose a problem was the kids aren't supposed to sit that long.

I haven't.

You know how many times I've said that?

I haven't had one person say, you're wrong about that.

Children are not supposed to sit that long.

And then to the curriculum, which is boring as shit.

I mean, who cares about 90% of that stuff?

How much do you.

Do you use 5% of the stuff that you learned in public school?

Yeah.

No, definitely not.

I mean, other than the.

The words.

But guess what?

You're gonna learn to speak anyway.

And the writing.

Yes, the writing helps, but as far as, like, when you look.

When I look at.

I take you out of it.

When I look at the amount of time and energy that gets dumped into that beast of an industry.

What a waste of talent.

What a waste of talent.

I mean, what do kids come out of public school with?

I know I'm off on it, Tangent.

I do it.

And professionally, what do kids come out of public school with as far as their mindset, which is the story that you tell yourself?

That's what enlist.

Okay.

So you could ask Google.

You meaning anyone.

I highly recommend doing it.

Ask Google what?

What's the definition of mindset?

And you're going to get 17 definitions on the first page alone.

In my personal professional opinion, enlifted has the best definition of mindset because it's the most simple.

The enlifted definition of mindset is the story that you tell yourself.

That's what it is.

We have we.

Stories about our body, stories about our money.

Stories about our partner, stories about our business, story about the government store, whatever.

It's stories.

And guess what?

Those stories are made up of words.

And all that time in those classrooms, people come out, usually struggling with self confidence and belief and zero sitting ducks.

Sitting fucking ducks to the trash talk in their own mind.

Zero ability to use their words consciously, to stay focused on what's important, to keep the drama low, to build themselves up in their feelings, to unlock their breath.

Most people's.

Most people are walking around with their breath trapped in their chest, and it's because of stories and what happens there.

Well, how about you're a shitty listener because it's called amygdala hijack.

Look that up.

When someone's breath is trapped in their chest, their ability to listen goes way down.

Their access to their creative faculties goes way down.

We get myopic and not on the good stuff, focused on the problem.

And.

And then very rarely does that feedback loop change itself.

Yeah.

So it's.

It's.

I mean, I understand.

And so, back to why I'm so appreciative of this work.

It's.

It's held my attention the whole time, and it's part of the reason that enlifted exists.

I mean, there's, of course, my.

There's a lot of people involved in this thing, and from our students to the team, to just, you know, people that have us on podcasts.

Thank you.

And on my side of the street, part of it is that I get jazzed up to talk about this stuff.

And it's not a joke.

It's.

It's.

This is one of the most important conversations that you can have, in my personal and professional opinion.

As in, what are you telling yourself?

What story are you telling yourself?

And then.

And then how do you make improvements in it?

It's like, well, I'll tell you how.

You're going to have to change your words.

And if you're changing your words, then you're going to change your breath.

Those are the two most foundational components of the most rubber meets the road, components for mindset.

Your words and your breath.

What words are you using, and how are you breathing while you're using them?

Good luck separating them.

And so, you know, you learn this, and really the keys to the kingdom.

So, did this guy, Barry Musgrave, did he take you through an exercise, or does he have.

Did you.

You went down to the emotional detox workshop, and is that when you started telling your story or realizing, becoming aware of how that story was holding you back?

I know, you said you had that momentous where you didn't want to be a 50 year old still telling the story.

So he had a moment of self awareness of like, okay, yes, I'm telling myself the story, and at some point I'm going to have to let go of the story.

And then when did you start to kind of unravel that and begin to work on that?

That was, was and is a process.

I've gone into the scary stories and I picked up that 600 pound pen.

I've written them down.

Okay?

That's where a lot of this stuff starts, in our opinion, and then there's the maintenance of it.

So I was the toughest nut to crack because I was so jaded and guarded and embarrassed about everything.

The outer shell of me was hard.

The inner world was scared.

And, yeah.

So I'm going to pick one thing you asked and then riff on that because it's a lot of things.

And for me now, it's funny.

Did he put you through an exercise?

So he did that.

He demonstrated that.

And then he showed us how to do it, and he paired us up with people, and I got paired up with this woman, and we had five minutes to.

So I was a coach and she was a client, and then switch up.

And, and so she's the co, she's the client first and five minutes.

Okay, tell, tell a story, go into a story, and she goes into some story.

And I'm doing the best I can.

And then he goes, okay, switch.

And I looked at her and I go, I'm sorry, I'm leaving now because I wasn't talking to anyone about anything.

Oh, my gosh.

And one of the things that attracted me to, oh, you've, you've done your NLP certified.

It was, it was an emotional freedom technique workshop.

The tapping.

Yep.

And, and so the one of the things that drew me to it is you can do this work on yourself by yourself.

I was like, I will do that.

I'm not talking to anybody about nothing.

And I'll go in there on my own, which has, it will work to some degree.

And you know what?

Some degree is a great degree.

Yeah.

And so I just, I got up and he goes, oh, by the way, there's this 82 page manual that you can go.

And I was like, okay.

And so I literally, I said, sorry, I'm leaving.

And I went back to my bungalow.

And I started tapping on shit and kept on with it, man.

And, yeah, I studied with eight.

I got the eight of the nine founders of the systems that most impressed me, the ones that I knew of.

There's a lot of great stuff out there that I'm ignorant about.

One of them, I did a five day training with Gary Craig back in the day.

Got to see our man Richard Bandler, Bob Stevens from conscious language.

Byron Katie did.

Did eight days with Bert Hellinger from family constellations in Quito, three days in Quito, and then five days in Bader Eichenhall, Germany.

And then there's some others.

So I went around and, I mean, I popped the hood on some stuff.

So, yeah, he took it.

Like, he.

I'm reminiscing of, you know, that those early, hard, intense, which is really tense.

So I've given well over 750 workshops in person over the years.

And, like, this is when I say, this would have been doing somewhere between full time and overtime the whole time.

I mean that.

And in the early days, I have way more fun now.

You know why?

Because I'm breathing better.

In the early days, people would go, man, you're so intense up there presenting.

And I'm like, yeah, cool.

Until I realized what they were saying.

Take off the first two letters.

Your tense.

Not good tense.

Where do people breathe when they're tense?

In their chest.

What are people that are tense?

Not being comfortable.

I was like, oh, right, okay.

So, yeah, man, I'm better now.

So you did.

So you did all this work yourself.

You refused to talk to anybody about it, and you kind of unpacked your story on your own.

Until.

Yes, and I got a crack in the door.

And then eventually I did work with other people, and I'd go to workshops and seminars and I'd participate, and I'd cry about shit I needed to.

And I'd, you know, a lot of that stuff's real, everybody.

Stories kept in your head.

I mean, it's.

This is not rocket science stories kept in your head, which is where most people keep their stories.

The scary stories and the good stories.

As far as the scary stories is concerned, they take up a lot of space.

They swirl seemingly infinite, very disorganized, versus, once they're written down, story.

Negative stories kept in the head trap the breath in the chest, which means the picture is up close and scary and in your face.

It's.

Oddly enough, it's the opposite for the positive stuff.

Positive stories kept in the head, which people have them.

It's called celebrating wins.

Or celebrating progress.

They're very far away and not that meaningful.

Oh, it's not that big of a deal until you write it down and get the air in there and the ouchy shit is way too close and meaningful and.

Yeah.

And so I did enough work on myself to where my breath unlocked.

So we're known as the language people for the people that know about us.

We're small fish still for now.

And.

And push comes to shove, it's about the breathe.

Like, we're here to help people unlock their breathing.

Good luck enjoying it.

Good luck feeling comfortable in your skin while your breath is trapped in your chest.

And that's one of the things that's missing from most mindset conversations.

One, the definition.

A working definition, or even better, a verbatim definition of the victim mentality.

Because that's why most people get into this stuff in the first place.

They got a problem, and you start scratching that problem, that stuck ness, and you got victim centric stories.

So a working definition or a verbatim definition.

I've got the verbatim definition if you want it.

Definition of the victim mentality.

And then breath.

Breathing.

Breathing.

Better words, better breathing.

Yeah.

So that's.

That's.

Yeah, yeah, talk.

Yeah, talk about the definition, victim mentality.

Because, I mean, that's something that I think even you being involved in the fitness world is very true as well.

Like, I can't do things because of the this and that.

All the reasons why people can't lose weight and the things that they've dealt with or the things that are dealing with.

And I actually discovered you originally from a certification that I was taking called beyond macros.

This was Matt Walrus.

Yeah.

It's probably four years ago, something, bro.

Matt Walruth was one of the athletes that I reached out to back in the day who's got the best podcast in CrossFit, and he was friends with Daniel Raphael.

Nice.

Yeah.

And so Matt Walworth was the person that came back and said, oh, by the way, Mike Bledsoe is aware of your work.

Would you like super crazy?

Also my surgery or something?

No, no, no.

Combo.

The frog met.

What's that?

Frog venom.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

And I've done that.

No, it's not a toad.

It's a.

It's a frog.

Very interesting.

Off.

Look it up.

Yeah, yeah, look it up.

And so without that is.

Yeah.

So good.

That's the big thing is like, so the.

The whole idea behind beyond macros was that, okay, it's one thing to just take someone and give them a meal plan.

This is what I discovered as I used to be a nutrition coach, I used to be a bodybuilder.

I used to do all this stuff, and it was like, dude, I can literally give someone the exact meal plan tailored to them.

Macros, everything, perfect workout program, and they're still not going to do it, and they're going to start, even potentially worse, telling a story about themselves, about, look, this guy did all this work for me, and now I still can't do it.

And so I started really feeling bad about myself and my coaching ability.

One.

But two, it was like I was really jaded because it's like people don't.

People say that they want the meal plan.

People say, oh, if I just had the meal plan, everything would be fine.

But ultimately, that's not what it is.

There's something deeper there.

There's something deeper we really got to get into.

And that led me into the study of psychology.

I got my degree in psychology.

Now I'm moving on to sociology, understanding the larger problem here.

And so language is a part of that.

And so I'm just.

Yeah, I'm very curious about how do we move beyond something like that into the victim mentality that people are in the.

That's keeping them stuck, whether it's weight loss, whether it's, you know, trying to chase their dreams, whether it's relationships.

Yeah.

So talk about victim mentality for a minute.

And two of the ways, in our opinion, of how you get people interested or more interested or engaged or more engaged in looking at their story as something that they can improve and change easily is first to demystify it and then gamify first thing.

So if you're going to demystify it, you got to.

Got to have a simple definition.

Mindset is the story that we tell ourselves and gamify it.

We can play.

We can play a language game or two on here if you want.

So I'll do this twice.

And for all y'all note takers, 30, 50, 80.

We remember 30% of what we hear, 50% of what we write, and 80% of what we turn around.

Teacher, explain.

So if you put pen to.

Most people have never heard the verbatim definition of the victim mentality.

Never heard it.

Usually the conversation goes as far as, you know, they've got a victim mentality where they're playing a victim, and that's where it stops.

Okay.

Most people never heard the verbatim definition of the victim mentality, much less written it down.

So I'll do it twice.

Once slow, and then I'll speed it up and put some polish on it.

The victim mentality is an acquired personality trait.

Where a person tends to regard himself or herself.

As the victim of the negative actions of others.

Even in the absence of clear evidence.

The victim mentality depends on a habitual thought process and attributions.

First, that second sentence.

Everybody.

Right between the eyes.

Right where it belongs.

So here it is.

Here it is slow.

And then I'll polish it up.

The victim mentality is an acquired personality trait.

Where a person tends.

It's a tendency.

Sometimes it's up, sometimes it's down.

Person tends to regard himself or herself.

As the victim of the negative actions of others.

Even in the absence of clear evidence.

The victim mentality depends.

Circle that word on a habitual.

Underline that word.

Thought process and attributions.

The victim mentality depends, as in it has to have a habitual.

Which accurately implies duration and addiction.

Thought process.

What's a thought process?

It's how you put your words together.

Set an attribution.

What's an attribution?

It's a characteristic.

The two characters, other than the words.

The most important characteristic for us is how you're breathing.

It's really easy to take things personally with the breath trapped in the chest.

It's real hard to see things different with the breath trapped in the chest.

It's really easy to turn somebody into a villain.

With the breath trapped in the chest.

And those words will do it.

He did that to me.

Look.

Two plus two equals four.

Everybody.

This is.

This is.

This is kindergarten math.

Two plus two equals four.

He, too, did that to me.

Two equal.

If I say that.

If Einstein says that we're both getting the victim villain mental imagery.

My dad always talks to me like a child.

I'm.

I'm in that sentence.

My dad's in that sentence.

That means I'm in the picture.

He's in the picture.

He's doing something to me.

I need her to respect me more.

She's in the picture, not doing something for me that I'm having.

Doing for myself.

I mean, there's a big difference between that.

And I need to respect me more.

Or I talk to me like a child, or I.

He did that to himself, or I did that to me.

And there's so many, like, there's trusting.

The first version of the story that shows up in your head, which is.

It's in your head, so it's not written down, and it's going fast.

When people say that my life is out of control, what they're saying is that my story is out of control.

And then if you keep going, that that means that your story is in your head.

The fastest way to slow down a story is to write it down.

The faster the story goes, the harder it is to change.

Take that to the bank.

It's like the faster you go in a car, the harder it is to change directions.

The faster the story goes, the harder it is to change.

And the fastest way to slow down a story is to write the damn thing down.

And people are profoundly underwritten, like, majorly.

And this thing can feel like it weighs 600 pounds.

Yeah.

And so it's good to be able to, in my opinion, again, to reference or deliver a verbatim definition of the victim mentality in a conversation about mindset.

Again, because this.

That's why people get into this stuff.

I wouldn't have gotten into this stuff unless I had a problem to solve.

And when I started scratching the surface of that thing, I was like, ooh, there's more in here than I thought there was going to be.

Which is fine.

It's great.

Something to do.

Yeah.

So can we use your story as an example about how you had this habitual story going on about.

Okay, I see.

I knew it.

I knew I'm a loser.

I knew that I wasn't cut out for this.

Right.

And then eventually, at some point, you started reframing that.

And I know that's a big part of what your TED talk was about as well, was you are a process versus, you know, identifying yourself as a failure.

And so your story shifted from being a loser, being not good enough, to what?

Interesting you bring that up, because I just got off a two and two hour and 25 Minutes podcast this morning with one of our students.

Yeah.

I mean, I go on shows going hard.

Yeah.

And he goes, what's changed for you over the years?

What stories have changed for you over the years, from the procabulary days to the enlifted days?

And he had, I mean, this is pretty cool.

Take out the pretty.

He put a.

He put a collide, like a timeline of.

And there's a progression for sure.

I mean, one, I'm aging, and two, you can tell there's a.

There's a.

There's a.

There's a healthy softening, because there is.

And he goes, what's.

What's changed in that person?

I'm like, you know, mandy, not much.

Not much in.

In the core belief that I'm good enough to get good at this, because I recognized that from the start.

I was like, I can get good at this.

Back.

Back to picking a lane that you can.

You can play in for at a high level for a prolonged period of time.

I wouldn't gonna be able.

I wouldn't be doing that.

Fighting.

And, yes, one of my superpower.

I don't need to be the best.

I don't care who's the best.

Those are just people's opinions.

I mean, and if I had my magic wand, I just want to be the most simple.

That's it.

All I want to do is.

And I do know this.

I know this in my core, that I'm good enough to do this work and then get up and drink some coffee and go to work.

If I put those two things together, that's it.

That's it.

It's just.

It's just a conversation about time.

At that point in time, I'm gonna put hours on the clock.

I know that.

And so what if someone is identifying themselves as a failure?

They've tried to.

So, a big part of my podcast is.

Is myself going and chasing this big dream.

And I know that a lot of people are chasing big dreams, and I know for a fact, working as a bartender, especially around a bunch of food service people who had these big dreams, who they've no longer.

They decide to give it up, and now they see themselves as a failure, and now they drain away some of their sorrows through alcohol and.

And really are holding on to some sort of story.

And so how would we help them to reframe from.

I'm a failure.

I tried it.

It didn't work.

It was too hard.

I can't go back to school now.

I'm in my thirties.

I.

You know, this is just what I am now.

Well, first thing I would have them do is to write those stories down.

Five minutes is plenty d to get that story, enough of that story out of their head and on paper so that they've got some space and clarity.

That's the first thing.

So, there's this thing in enlifted.

It's at the same time the crown jewel of the enlisted method and the swiss army knife.

It's what our level one certification is built around.

And four steps.

Four steps to it.

Step one.

Write it down.

Title it, and write it down.

Whether it's a general story of ouch and pain and stinging woe.

Or the time your dad punched you in the.

In the.

In the mouth when you were nine, you talked back to mom at the dinner table and broke a tooth.

The worst time you were bullied.

The breakup from last week.

Whatever.

Once a story is on paper, it's so much easier to work with.

And once when people are dialoguing back and forth.

And so, step one, get the thing on paper, okay?

And then two, read it, and whatever happens, happens.

Step three, read that same story slow.

When someone slows down their rate of speech, the breath starts to loosen up.

And again, story kept in the head, going fast.

Breath trapped in the chest.

Breath trapped in the chest is a demonstration of attachment to the story.

Breath starts to loosen up.

This white knuckle grip starts to go like that.

And then let's just say it's three paragraphs long.

Step four is you read that same story slow and then get a breath in between each sentence, and it doesn't sound like shit.

But I'll tell you what, when that breath unlocks, bro, and starts to descend and those feels come up, it gets really real.

And also, because people can.

Rough shot, rough ride.

Rough right over.

Right over the most important parts.

I was abused and raped when I was 17.

I'm fine.

Write that story down and let your breath unlock and watch what comes out.

And so I've been talking about breath the whole time, because we talk about breath words and breath the whole time, and then lift it.

So, story in the head, breath in the chest.

Picture is in your face.

Get the story written, written out, and aired out.

And as this is the mechanics of storytelling, as the breath unlocks and descends, the picture moves out, and you go from being a relentless participant to the observer of the thing.

And therein lies the shift.

And it doesn't take any smarty pants answers from me for a person to do that.

All I need to do is to know how to work the levers of storytelling.

And most coaches are not paying attention to the rate of speech.

One, they're not getting the words written down.

Most of the time, they're just sitting there holding their breath, waiting for something to smart to say, to be wise, to have some good eye, to have a good answer for them.

And before that, most coaches drama bond with their clients.

When you drama bond with your clients, that's you believing their story.

It sounds harsh at first.

Do not believe your client story.

Everybody observe your client story.

No.

What do you.

What do you mean?

I need to believe my client's story so they feel heard.

They don't.

They're not there to be heard.

They're there to change.

And why are you believing a story that's going to change in 35 minutes if you do a half mediocre job now and so, and then from there, most coaches are not paying attention to how they're breathing in sessions, and so the client gets emotional, which is going to happen when you're navigating stories with people, and the client gets emotional and their breath gets trapped in the chest, and then the coach goes, oh, my God.

Or to some degree, and then you've got that trauma bond.

Drama bonding is when you believe your client's story.

Trauma bonding is when the coach and the client go into a stress response at the same time.

Both of them are messes.

And so I just dug off on rants and tangents.

So that's.

That would be a preliminary piece of advice to someone who wants to change the story.

And if someone had a story, then I would ask them that question first.

Do you want to change?

Do you do.

I mean, and you can get all.

I mean, you know, this.

You can get all gangster about it.

You see yourself working in the food service industry for the next 20 years.

No.

Oh, so you're gonna do something different when 14 years.

Nine, seven, six and a half.

And you could.

You could back it into.

That would all depend on what mood I was in and how much they wanted to play.

But none of this is rocket science.

People don't.

People don't need PhDs to create a story, and they don't need a PhD to change a story.

Most of the time, you just need a pen and a piece of paper and just a little bit of know how about the mechanism mechanics of storytelling?

And a lot of that involves, are the words up here, or are they written down?

How fast is the story going?

Okay, where's my breath when I'm telling the story?

And what words force me to see things in certain ways?

What words spike the drama and what.

So, one of the language games that we played in the.

In these crossfit gyms, everybody.

I'm Mark.

Thanks for coming.

Write this sentence down.

How can I ever make this lift?

And they'd write it down, how can I ever make this lift?

And I'd go, raise your hand.

If that created some feeling in you, most people would.

And I'm like, what's the feeling?

Oh, and the other, hey, what's the feeling?

And, hey, what's that feeling?

Oh, well, you know, it's a.

I don't know if I can.

And then.

And I'm like, okay, cool.

Take your magic wand and scratch out one word.

Scratch out the word ever.

How can I make this lift?

So how can I ever make this lift?

And most people, when they have that word in the sentence, they're going to inflect on that, spike the drama, turn a perfectly good question into a statement of, this is going to be hard if, or, or I can't do this.

Pull that word.

One word, four letters.

How can I make this lift?

Now you've got a real question.

Now you've got a real question.

Or a less emotionalized question.

Carol Dweck would approve of this fixed mindset.

Growth mindset.

Yep.

If someone's got a fixed mindset, that means they got a fixed language.

This is just the way I am.

That's a fixed.

That's fixed language, which leads to a fixed mindset.

Versus.

This is.

This is just the way I am thinking.

So again, process versus outcome.

Are you a verb?

Are you a noun?

You know, so, yeah.

How do you change the story?

Well, do you want to.

And then second.

Cool.

Right.

You can't.

Well, you can.

So one of the things that I.

That you talk about a lot is the.

The soft words.

And I loved me.

And Megan actually talked about this last week on the podcast.

Yeah, exactly.

Soft talk.

Yes.

Megan talked a little bit about this last time, and it was the example that she gave was kind of around how you make.

You make yourself appear to be wishy washy when you use soft language.

But I really enjoyed hearing on one of your podcasts how you talked about it.

It gets you stuck in indecision.

Oh, dude.

And so I love that.

And I really want to hear you talk about that, because that's something that there's obviously things you're supposed to be looking out for.

Yes, yes.

Go ahead and talk about what.

What is soft talk and how is it getting people stuck?

This is.

So to bring it back to demystifying or simplifying and then gamifying soft talk, there are four pillars to conflict.

Language, which is enlifted's description of the thought patterns that the victim mentality has to have.

Thought processes, the victim mentality has to have.

There's four of them.

Negations, projections, soft talk.

Dramatics and soft talk.

Out of all of them, the last one we recommend exploring are projections because that's where usually speaking, that's the highest emotional charge, also known as that's the strongest stress response that's the tightest the breath gets.

She never lets me live my life.

And so that's.

That's where people's attachment is the strongest.

The easiest place to start the conversation is soft talk because there's a handful of words and they're easy to just pluck out.

Maybe I'm drinking too much coffee.

Pluck out the maybe.

And now you have.

It's a yes or a no.

So you're not going to talk yourself into or out of something for the most part.

By and cuz, cuz, guess what, folks?

Sometimes you want to talk yourself into stuff.

Sometimes you want to talk your end to self and stuff.

Or at least you want to know how to talk yourself into stuff.

I totally want to know how to talk myself into stuff.

I want to figure out what I want to do and talk myself into doing it.

Doctor rocket science.

And.

Yeah, and then.

So most people have a black belt and talking themselves out of things.

You didn't learn this in 10th grade english class or at least creating.

It's indecision.

Chronic indus.

It's this.

It's the.

It's the 8th deadly sin.

I mean, I talk about that.

This is what we finish with in all those workshops.

I did.

Hey, raise your hand if you like.

Prolonged bouts of indecision.

No one ever raises their hand because that feels like shit.

Yeah, it feels.

It feels horrible.

And Malmodia says, I prefer the fear of making the wrong decision to the terror of indecision.

Hmm.

Yeah, you can say that again.

I prefer the fear of making the wrong decision to the terror of indecision.

Yes.

And it is terrifying if you take it far enough, because this is the power of identity, for better and for worse, if someone practices indecision, if they've got a lot of.

Rattle these off, I'll do it like this.

Yeah, that looks good.

Probably, perhaps feels like.

Guess maybe could.

Might possibly sort of, kind of.

Potentially, hopefully try.

One day, I'm going to make something happen versus today should.

Almost like.

It's almost like I'm procrastinating.

If you use these words, you're.

It's going to be real hard.

That's an understatement to make a decision to be decisive.

And if you do that for long enough, then eventually you're going to identify yourself as an indecisive person.

And when someone does that, it's like when kids identify themselves as a musician.

They're there.

They get.

They.

They just.

Their.

Their ability to play goes through the roof.

Teddy Atlas said this.

He's one of the best boxing coaches and analysts ever.

He said champions get 30% better overnight by winning the belt because they now identify themselves as a champion.

And that.

That little thing goes both ways.

So if someone identifies themselves as a loser, they're just.

They just got 30% better at being a loser.

Oh, man.

Or if someone identifies themselves as punctual, they just got 31st.

30% better at being punctual.

And most people are not paying attention.

They're not thinking about their thinking.

They're just thinking there's a difference.

And so that's.

Yeah.

The two things we teach, creation awareness and creation awareness of the words, and then, hey, here's the words.

Create what you want.

And we're Switzerland in the whole thing.

If somebody wants to, you know, be a.

Be a hot mess, dumpster fire, and that's their business.

It's clean.

It's clean.

Yeah.

And so why is soft talk.

This is the gateway drug to the rest of your language, because all you got to do is pluck out a word or two until you have.

And it'll happen the first time you do it, you have a feeling response to it.

You know, I'm sort of avoiding the conversation.

You take out sort of.

I'm avoiding the conversation now.

Now you got a yes or no answer.

Am I doing it or am I not?

And one of the reasons this is scary for people is because now that they've.

Now they've got a yes or no answer, they got to do something about it.

So this is how we.

This is one of the main ways that people, and it's a fallacy, think they keep themselves safe by not making a decision.

Yeah.

Because if I got to make a decision now, now I got to do something.

And now, um, I'm going to find out whether I'm good enough or not.

Mmm.

And so back to Patella phobia.

This is if someone thinks and maybes and might's and sort of they do a pretty good job.

Take out the pretty of never.

Never finding out some.

Yeah.

Like, I should.

I should probably go back to school or one day I'll get into a career.

That's better.

Exactly.

Fellas.

Go up to a girl and go, I think I might want to maybe take you out on a date one day.

See how that goes.

See how that goes.

Yeah.

So that's.

That's, um.

We talk about this a lot.

So, obviously, I've got a.

I got.

Yeah.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

I learned that in NLP as well about the word try.

But how try is used as a convincer in hypnosis.

Try to lift your foot off the ground.

And the harder you try, the more you'll find that you cannot lift your foot off the ground.

And that word try is used there to literally convince people that they can't do something.

And it's crazy.

And so it's like, I'll try to do this, I'll try to do that.

And try convinces a great amount of effort without actually making any progress doing something.

I didn't learn about that in 9th grade English class.

I had.

I learned about past participles.

Right.

So I have a question.

When I took my NLP course, we learned something called a personal breakthrough session.

And people tell you their story and you write down as much as you can, you type out as much as you can to get it out, to get their story on paper.

And then you go through and you find the limiting beliefs and you find the language things that they're using, the language patterns.

And so I was just kind of curious in my own mind, how might that differ than someone writing out their own story?

I'd rather have it in their words.

Why include an extra filter?

Yeah.

So, I mean, you're already using their.

Whereas I was on a coaching call with somebody and they were telling me their story and I was writing it down.

Would it be potentially more powerful for them, like I said, to pick up that 600 pound pen and to actually write it out?

Because you said it's slowing down the story, which I think is very powerful.

And so I was kind of curious if, in your own opinion, you took a different NLP course than me, you potentially learned different things than me.

I don't know what Richard Banler teaches.

I do have his book transformations.

I've read that.

But I don't know how that might differ than just listening to someone tell their story and writing it down versus having them pick up the pen, write out their story.

Yeah.

Well, again, it's going to be their words verbatim.

I don't want my interpretation of their story.

I want their story and I want them to participate in the changing of it.

And, and so if someone's at home.

Right now, it'll be better for them to write it out.

So if someone's at home right now and they're writing out their story, they're writing out their story of why they haven't gone after a new career, why they haven't been able to lose weight.

Whatever it may be, whatever they're struggling with, it's usually like the stuck and suck I heard Megan talk about last week, right.

And so they're writing out the stuck.

And how'd you meet her, by the way?

She's great.

So we did the same certification called mental performance mastery.

And then I've just been on a mission to find anybody doing anything similar to what I was thinking about doing.

I was thinking about doing these one on one sessions with people, mental performance coaching.

And so I've been very curious, like, who the hell is doing what I want to be doing in the world?

And are they happy?

You know, are they happy doing what they want to be doing and trying to figure out which lane where I want to find myself in?

And so, throughout these conversations, I found myself really actually just enjoying these conversations and learning from these type of people.

And I was like, shit, I'm just going to make a podcast around this.

I'm just going to start learning from these type of people.

So I reached out to her, asked her if she'd be on the podcast, and she said, absolutely.

Genius.

Oh, dude, you'll learn.

Yeah.

You learn everything that way.

Yeah.

So just talking to mental performance coaches or psychologists or anybody who's really high up in the coaching does things a little bit differently, looks.

Looks at the world a little bit differently, thinks bigger, you know, and understands how the mind is generally the thing that's holding us back, not the tactics, not the strategies, not the productivity calendars, not the.

All this stuff.

It's all valuable, but it's not the thing that's usually holding people back.

And so I think that that's valuable whether you're an entrepreneur, whether you're an athlete, whether you're a Joe schmo, you know, trying to improve your life like that is something that everybody needs to realize, is that it's the mind, but the mind is the mindset, as you said, is the story you're telling yourself.

And so when we start creating that awareness, obviously, step one is creating that awareness.

How do we become aware that we're not actually the story?

It's a story we're telling, and we can start to change some of those words, you know?

So that's.

That's why I wanted to talk to someone like you that really, really understands the power of the language we're using.

And we're going around, we're telling our story.

And I hate the fact that people will go around and gossip and.

And people love sharing.

Oh, this happened to me today, and this happened to me today, and this is what I'm dealing with.

And, and then someone else tells their bad story, and then everyone just kind of trauma bonds, as you were saying, it's a victim, and it's just, it's got the worst, so it's so damaging.

Yeah.

And I hate doing that.

And so I am usually one of those people that's the opposite influence.

Someone starts telling me their story, and I start flipping on its head the best that I can, I start finding those language patterns, you know?

Oh, man, I had such a hard time.

I'm like, oh, so you learned a lot.

You know, I'm.

I bet you've had mixed bag results from that.

Not results, mixed bag.

Some people are gonna really like that.

Some people are really not gonna like that.

Yeah.

You to believe them.

Some people want you to validate.

They're stuck and suck.

And so if someone's at home and they're writing down, they're stuck and suck.

They're looking for soft words.

They're looking to create awareness, create some space around the story.

They're looking to put a little bit of breath between the story, between words that they're saying, potentially.

Is there anything else?

That's like, once I've written down my story, what am I.

What am I looking for to start making changes to that story?

Well, you already have since you've written it down, because you're gonna get more detail in writing the story than you are thinking about it or telling it, which is the same reason why I want them to write the story down instead of them talking and me writing it down.

Here's why.

We think faster than we can speak, and we speak faster than we can write.

And so by someone writing slows the story down majorly.

And so what happens when the story is slow down?

You get more detail, and very frequently that the act of doing that, and it's way more organized.

Story kept in the head, disorganized story written down, way more organized.

And so you've externalized it, you've slowed it down, you've organized.

That's a big deal.

That's step one.

Step two, read it.

It's going to be different than you telling it and whatever you feel.

Great.

All right.

Answers feel like shit.

Awesome.

Feel a little bit hurt.

Fantastic.

Not much at all.

Wonderful.

Step three, same story.

Read that same story.

Slow.

We've run all the, all the split tests.

It's 30%, 30% slower than your normal rate of speech.

And so 70% of your normal rate of speech.

When someone slows down their rate of speech, it's the difference.

So a story kept in the head, that's basically a sprint.

Okay?

And we've all sprinted before.

And when we sprint, field of vision goes like this.

We get myopic breath trapped in the chest.

Myopic, we go on a stroll, a slow walk.

So the mechanics of walking and running apply to the mechanics of story as far as rate of speech and speed goes.

So someone goes on a slow stroll and you can observe this.

Don't, don't believe me.

Test it out.

It'll take all of six minutes.

Go on a slow walk and watch what happens.

You zoom out and then step four is that same slow, same story, slow read and at the end of each sentence, and then read the next sentence.

And then.

And keep going until you're through.

And what's, what's going to happen with no prompts?

It's not, it's not like I have to tell them.

Okay, now make the picture zoom out, breath in the chest, picture.

Breath traps story in the head, breath trapped in the chest, picture in your face.

That's the mechanics of this thing.

Story written down and aired out.