This is for all the precious people out there who feel useless to society.

Are you 30+, single, childless, freshly divorced or simply a person who chooses himself/ herself over societal pressure BUT feeling a nagging awkwardness inside of your chest ?

Or maybe you are 30+ in a unhappy relationship and scared to be alone/ scared to pull the trigger and leave a situation that is not good for you anymore ...

This is a place where you can recharge your batteries, reconnect to yourself, 

really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

yourself from a situation you don’t wish to be in. I invite you to get to know yourself better in order for you to make the right choices for yourself in the future.

Learn more at

www.auroraeggertcoaching.com

Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter.

Discover who you are without all this clutter in your mind.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

In this episode and many other episodes I touch on topics that I usually work on with my clients. Here in my podcast it will be targeted to a broad spectrum of people. If you'd like to go more into depth with a topic I address, reach out to me.

with love and much respect

Aurora

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Unknown: 00:00:07

Hello, hello and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

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on this beautiful journey called life. I hope you feel safe, I

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hope you feel comfortable in your skin confident, I hope you

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have a sense of purpose, and drive. And if you do not, if

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you've had stuck last uncomfortable, unsafe,

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uncertain, I hope I can be a stepping stone on your journey

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and help you to get to know yourself better. Because the

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better you know yourself, the better decisions you get to make

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for yourself. And this in turn will affect all the people

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around you and our society. And I feel we need to as a whole

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work on our relaxed resilience sorry. And become stronger as a

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whole as a society and more resilient to stress and outside

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disturbances we have to come back home and take care of

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ourselves. And once we take care of ourselves, we feel a deep

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need to nurture the people around you the environment

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around you the animals around you all creatures around you.

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And this my dear as my vision and this vision is equal to my

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mission to help people become their strongest version 30 Plus

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unmarried. Last, without purpose. I want to talk to all

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people out there who either good freshly divorced or are about to

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leave a relationship that is super toxic, or singles who are

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still searching and looking for the one person that can become

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their mate. You might feel stuck, do you might feel lost.

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You might feel you don't really have a place in society, you

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might feel extremely useless. You don't know what you're doing

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here and you sure know that you are not part of the mass. You

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know everybody who gets married and then they build a house and

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then they have kids and then they have front yard and a back

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yard and two dogs. Their children start going to school

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and you feel you don't belong to that stream. Either because your

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partner is not the right fit. Or you haven't found the partner or

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the partner you once had.

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Left you or you left them and now it's just you again with a

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huge chunk of pain in your chest. It is a weird feeling

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when going to social gatherings and maybe you're even avoiding

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them. Especially when you know that there's couples there who

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are happy and living the life you wish they had.

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And every time somebody asks you how you are you say yeah, I'm

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fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I pursue my hobbies, I feel free.

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Yet, that's not at all how you feel. But you know exactly the

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moment you would say. Actually, I'm not fine. Actually. I'm

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struggling actually I feel terribly lonely. Actually, I

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feel desperate to find a partner. You would have to face

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your music. Also, you don't know what kind of reaction you would

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receive from the people that all of a sudden you don't say sorry.

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Iron anymore, but you open up how you really feel. Right? As

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soon as you speak it out,

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you kind of will be held accountable, or you feel totally

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pathetic. Because that person feels like oh my god, that

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person just share too much information about herself

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himself. So there's a little bit of fear of rejection as well,

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when we think about being brutally honest with the people

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around us. No, I'm not fine. I'm not fine at all, I'm struggling.

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I also want to address the that intimacy like fear of intimacy,

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part that could play a role in your life. Because what I

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noticed is, sometimes we are single, and we feel there's

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nobody around us who could be interested in us, or us

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interested in them. And we don't see that we still got a little

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bit of homework to do before we put ourselves out there. So I

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usually invite people to share with me the conclusions that

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they have made about themselves after the last heartbreak,

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right, when you are 30? Plus, chances are that you had a crush

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on somebody at some point. Or you were in a relationship, and

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for some reason it fell apart. Why did it fall apart?

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And to find out if you take ownership? Or if you only blame

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the other person? And to look at you with the kindness eyes? And

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to find out?

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What are the lessons you've learned about yourself? And how

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open are you today to receive a new person into your life

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because sometimes we cling on to our past pain so desperately

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because we identify with that pain, that it is so big, that

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we're not even able to make space for a new person, yet we

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learn so much to have a new person in our life, but there is

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no space, the whole space next to us around us as being taken

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by our pain. Maybe you are a grieving loss. Maybe you lost a

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dad, a mom, a person that you were very close to, to death.

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And that pain is so enormous that you cannot even imagine

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being happy again. Because that would mean that you don't love

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that person that passed anymore. Which is which is not true. We

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can learn to reframe these conclusions that you have made

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at some point in your life. And we have to revisit them and see

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do these believes serve you? Really, your mom is alone now.

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Her partner passed or she was left. And now you feel

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responsible for her happiness. So you cannot have your own

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happiness because that would mean to some degree that you

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abandon your mother. Is that fair to your life? Yet something

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like that we don't see. We don't see how we sabotage and

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manipulate ourselves out of beautiful situations to serve

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another person to serve an old believe. I hope I'm making sense

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here. I hope I can make you reflect and see that there's so

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much that you can do in order to get ready to receive a partner.

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For you to see that there is somebody out there because

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sometimes we run around with you know, blindfolded eyes and like

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yeah, there's nobody Where Have All the good good men gone where

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have all the good women Gone. Gone to. i There is nobody out

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there for me. Yes, there is. There's tons of people out there

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But you haven't been working on your readiness, you haven't

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faced your own music, you haven't faced your stuff that

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you carry around with you. And that stuff is like a plexiglass

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window window that you look through. And doesn't allow you

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to see the people that would be ready for you. You know, some

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people lose their spouse to death, or they are being left,

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and they still have the house full of pictures with them. They

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have lots of souvenirs, they have lots of things in their

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space that take up space for a new person. Get they don't see

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it, yes, you love that person, but you got to let go of it. If

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you want to invite a new person into this life, if you want to

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cling on to that person that is not in your life anymore. With

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all you have, then that's fine, too. I will not judge you for

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that. But please don't complain, then that nobody wants to be

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close to you. Because they can sense that you have no emotional

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space for them. Same goes for your parents, if they went

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through a divorce, or again, if if your parent lost a spouse,

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and you feel that if you were happy with a partner, you would

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hurt your parents, you would invalidate their pain. And those

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are the beliefs that we have to weed through. Because those are

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the beliefs that make you push people away that want to be

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close to you.

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You are so precious and needed in our society. And I hope you

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know that.

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You might not have kids, you might not have a partner. But if

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you step into your own power and live up to your purpose and let

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go past beliefs and past experiences past pain that is

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holding you back and show up as who you are meant to be on this

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planet earth, then you are serving our communities, way

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more than if you were to swim in the mainstream water and have

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kids and a house and two dogs and a cat and a front yard and a

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backyard because that's not what it's about. It if you become a

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mother or a father and feel that this is what you're meant here

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to do. This is how you contribute to society, then yes,

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it is for you. And then I invite you to take my hand and to take

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up that fight against your old believes all the stuff that is

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holding you back from fulfilling this dream. And if you're meant

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to create a beautiful business, if you're meant to start a

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movement, whatever it is that your purpose is going to push

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you to do. Then I want to help you to fulfill that

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you know for me, I'm 37 Now, I do not have children. I'm in a

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loving relationship. And I have a strong sense that I would be a

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good mom. Yet I have tapped into this purpose of serving my

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communities through podcasting and life coaching and helping

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people to fulfill their dreams for me to look behind people's

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masks. gives me so much joy and to help them grow beyond their

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limits. Makes me feel so alive. To know that I can be a stepping

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stone for other people and for now I feel if I had a child I

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would lose that And maybe that is totally wrong, maybe I can

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have both. So me right now I'm also working through this,

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right? I'm never, never, never above you. I'm always next to

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you. And it is so worth it to revisit beliefs that we have and

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ask ourselves over and over again. Is this true? Is this

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still true? Is the one thing excluding me from doing the

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other thing. You got to be a detective, you got to be curious

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about yourself. You can't just run around and look at other

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people and see, oh my god, this is all they have. And they look

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so happy and on Instagram and on Facebook, blah, blah, blah, it's

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gonna make you feel smaller and smaller and smaller. And if you

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go within, if you look at yourself and revisit beliefs

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that you have start decluttering and wading through stuff that is

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holding you back. You will be able to find who you're meant to

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be. And liberate yourself from those mad mainstream thoughts

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that are preventing you from showing up as the person you're

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meant to be. And again, we need you out there we need you in

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your most authentic strongest light shining. And if you keep

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dimming your lights because you think you're not living up to

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our expectations, you're not only doing yourself a disservice

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you're doing us a disservice to service to the work go within

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revisit the experiences that made you conclude that you're

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not worthy I'm going to leave you with that with all my love

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with all my care. As always, you can reach out on Facebook and

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shoot me question shoot me episode request or if you want

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to start your journey towards yourself, if you want to invite

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me in and let me help you. Shoot me a visit and pay me a visit

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mnt on Aurora Eggert coaching and we'll go from there. And I'm

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very positive that if you're listening to my podcast here,

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then you have that growth mindset. And you want to be your

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strongest self you want to let go of stuff. So allow alone for

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this. I'm so incredibly proud of you. I respect you so much.

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Because you're leaving your comfort zone and want to know

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what you're all about. All right. Take care of yourself.

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And I will be out there very soon.