Episode Synopsis

In this episode of the Moving Out of Trauma, I (Kandace Ledergerber EMDR Therapist in Phoenix) dive into talking with fellow EMDR therapist Katie Tiffany as we explore the power of writing in healing from sexual trauma. The episode discusses a writing circle that allows survivors to share their stories and connect with others who have gone through similar experiences. Katie shares the ground rules for the circle, such as not censoring oneself while sharing, writing one's truth, and finding healing in the community. We also talk about what it means to be authentic within our therapy practice and as we work alongside survivors who crave healing. At the end of this episode, there is also the calm state change place exercise and container to help those listening transition to the next part of their day.

Guest Bio

Katie Tiffany (LPC) comes from a lineage of healers, including nurses, teachers, and social workers. She identifies as a healer, teacher, mentor, and therapist who works alongside people searching for an understanding of themselves and wanting to create a new story in their present lives. She feels called to this work and finds a deep sense of meaning and healing in it. Her approach is raw, as she isn't afraid to cuss, swear, or get angry with her clients. Katie sees herself as being on the journey with her clients. She has shared she feels honored to go on the healing journey with them, and she believes every person has the capacity and strength to heal themselves.

Timestamps

[02:43f] - Intro

[05:23] - Getting to Know the Provider

[15:06] - Topic of the Week: How Writing Circles Can Help Sexual Trauma Survivors Find Healing

[33:15] - Providers Aren't Robots

[38:12] - Trauma Tip of the Week

[42:42] - Final Fast Five

[49:51] - Container and Calm State Change Exercises

Topics Covered in this Episode

• Stigma and isolation faced by survivors of sexual assault
• Survivors' reluctance to share their stories
• Discussion on what Writing Circles are and how they work
• Writing as a powerful tool for goal-setting, processing trauma, and cleansing rituals
• Trust and intimacy in sharing and feedback
• Community as a safe space for vulnerability, support, and healing

Relevant links mentioned

Katie's Therapy Website

www.eastvalleyptsdcounseling.com

Katie's Writing Circle, Consulting and Coaching Website

www.connectingandcoaching.com

Writing Ourselves Whole by Lisa Cross

http://writingourselveswhole.org/

Find an EMDR Therapist Near You

https://www.emdria.org/

Connect for consultation with Kandace

https://soulmission-emdrtherapy.com/contact

Sign up for our Newsletter and get your Trauma-Informed Mindfulness WoPlease leavek

https://soulmission-emdrtherapy.com/podcast

Leave us a review on PodChaser.com

https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/moving-out-of-trauma-5172742

Kandace's Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/soulmission_emdrtherapy/

Kandace's Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/soulmissionmentalhealthandyoga

Join Us Next Time

Join us in two weeks as I talk with Dr. Jennifer Lee, a manual physical therapist whose expertise is within the release of the body's greatest restrictions into the organ tissue, the nervous system, and often into unprocessed emotions that stay trapped in the physical body. In this conversation, we delve into the importance of understanding trauma, the role of emotions in physical symptoms, and how mindfulness, emotional work, and hands-on healing can help you develop a healthier relationship with your body and facilitate your journey to overall wellness.

Welcome to Moving Out of Trauma, a podcast made to support trauma survivors with actionable steps and resources so they can start moving out of trauma and into the life that they're craving. I'm the host, Candace Leader, gerber, EMDR therapist, yoga teacher, first time mom, and dog enthusiast. I am here in Phoenix, Arizona, and I am so excited about today's episode. But before we dive into today's episode of Moving Out of Trauma, I want to give you a few reminders. The first is that if you want to start practicing more mindfulness and incorporate more grounding skills in your daily life, but you've had some trouble getting started because of past trauma, I want to offer you a free Traumainformed Beginner's Guide to mindfulness workbook. I created this workbook with Trauma in Mind. You can get this free workbook as well as monthly updates about new content by heading over to Soulmissionemdrthertherapy.com Podcast. You can sign up for our newsletter there and you will get this free workbook directly to your inbox that you can download as many times as you like and get updates when I update it as well. Again. That link is soulmissionemdrthertherapy.com. Podcast. And a second reminder I want to give is at the end of this recording and the end of every episode for that matter, we will be giving you two resources that we often use in EMDR therapy, which are the container exercise as well as the state change place. So these exercises are visualization exercises that can help you transition from maybe a state of thinking about past trauma, awareness, learning something new into a more calm, more centered way of being so you can go on throughout your day. I hope these resources help and I would love to know your thoughts. All right, let's dive into today's episode.

This is a quick disclaimer that this podcast is meant to educate and inspire and is not a replacement for therapy. It does not constitute therapy services, advice or guidance in the form of therapy or medical help to treat any condition. So please consult a therapist, your physician, or use the resources we provide in the episodes to find a provider near.

So today on Moving Out of Trauma, we have Katie Tiffany, who is a licensed professional counselor and EMDR therapist in Mesa, and she works with trauma and PTSD survivors using EMDR mindfulness and writing circles to help people heal. She is a fellow healer who identifies with a strong teacher, mentor part and a therapist part.

She works with people who are searching.

For understanding of themselves and want to create a new story for their present lives. She believes that all people have the capacity and the strength to heal themselves, and she is always honored to be a witness to that journey. So the topic we're going to dive into today is the power of healing.

And connecting with others through writing. And we're going to talk to Katie.

All about the writing circles that she.

Helps to facilitate, which I'm so excited for.

I do want to mention really quickly.

That for some reason, there were a little bit of audio issues in this recording on my end, which I apologize for.

It appears there's some feedback that I.

Just couldn't edit out, but I wanted.

To make sure that this conversation was.

Just as vulnerable as it actually was, and I didn't want to edit out everything.

So I definitely apologize for the feedback. And I want you to know that.

It'S not on your end and it should subside around minute eight or nine. So I hope you enjoy this episode and this conversation with Katie. Here we go.

Have a good conversation with you today and talk about all of these different healing pieces, because I think the work you're doing, obviously, as a therapist is really powerful. And then the work you're doing within that writing circle, I think is really powerful, too, because it's a really unique way for people to find healing, and that's what we're all about on this show.

Yes. And I want to thank you for bringing this to light and bringing these things up that are other modalities of healing that is not just the therapy, one on one traditional talk therapy. Something that I found after learning EMDR was I thought it was going to work on everyone. I was so excited. And what I found getting deeper and deeper into the practice is that these other things that are popping up are so useful and powerful for trauma healers.

Absolutely. All right, well, we will get into the show. The first part of this show is getting to know you as a provider. And part of what inspired this was this quote that I heard, which is knowing a person is like music, so what attracts us to them is their melody. And as we get to know them, we learn their lyrics. And I looked forever. So if anyone ever listening finds the quote and finds the person that said it. I would love to attribute that person, but I couldn't find it. It just was anonymous everywhere. But I really like this idea of just kind of diving into knowing that person more. So that's kind of where this all came from. So my first question is, why are you so passionate about this work that we do?

That's a really great question, and I've thought about that. What guided me here? And I honestly believe after thinking about this question, is that this work chose me. I have a lineage, maternal lineage, of healers in my family. Nurses, teachers. My mother was a social worker, and she's no longer around. And so there's so many times where I feel like I'm working through her, and there's just been so many, I don't know how to explain it so much healing in this journey that I've been on with people. And what shows up for me in my work is this I like to call it just kind of this direct rawness about merring. I don't know how to say that I'm not very nurturing. I'm just very raw and real. And I think some people are drawn to that part of me. They want someone to cuss, and they want someone to swear, and they want somebody to get angry with them. And I cry with them. I'm angry with them. I am real. I realized very early on in this profession that I couldn't be a robot in that therapist that doesn't take other stuff in. I am on the journey with them, and I think that's why I'm so passionate about it. Something that you mentioned about the music and the lyrics, I would flip that around. Like, I'm constantly trying to flow with my clients, my people, music and melody, to see which way they're going to lead me as a provider. I tried to stay in the box of doing the modality and the structure of certain things.

Sure.

And something I've learned through the process is to flow at their cadence.

Yeah, absolutely.

I couldn't agree with that more because I think that as we flow with their cadence that was so beautifully put with their cadence, we're able to really see their story kind of progress. And if we didn't go at their pace, it hurts the healing process. How does your personality show up in the room with your clients?

Yeah, I am who I am. I'm one of those people that you kind of meet me and you know exactly who I am. I don't really have a really good poker face. When my clients tell me something painful, you can see the pain in my face. My personality is just very I think it's just kind of like open and free. And I try not to censor myself as I'm talking about that out loud. I think I want to be a model to them, that they also have the power to censor themselves right. That they're free and open to show whoever the hell they want to be.

What is the top thing you wish everyone knew, I guess, about the world of trauma healing. I don't know if you want to approach it from EMDR therapy, if you want to approach it from writing, however you want to approach that.

Right? I mean, there's so much right. And there's so many trauma experts that can speak to this, and there's stuff all over the place, right, for tips with trauma. But I think if we are staying on the topic of writing and how writing really heals trauma, it's a completely different modality that's a little bit left out, I would say. I mean, there's always journaling written into these plans of taking care of yourself with trauma. But I think for me, this particular piece, this particular writing circle in terms of trauma is all about reclaiming your voice, writing your own story, not letting other people tell your story for you. That is the most powerful piece to me about trauma, is allowing yourself to tell your own story. And this is what these people do when they come to the writing circle, and this is where the healing begins. And to share it, to not be ashamed of the story. And that's the power of the circle is sharing that coming out of the box that you're talking about, coming out of isolation and the shame of the experience and sharing it with other people through writing.

Yeah, I love that so much, just because yeah, you're absolutely right. Journaling kind of becomes one of those things like you put in the treatment plan sometimes, and maybe someone does it, maybe someone doesn't. But the power of writing something and be able to navigate your own story, to share your own story, to sit with it, and then to have other humans witness it is so powerful to step out of that shame. Because so many people experience it. And to be able to really be seen and to feel like, okay, I was seen and it was okay.

Exactly. And that's the piece that we talk about in the circle, is that when these women or men tell their story, there's typically a couple of responses, right? It's, well, what did you do? Like, how come you in that situation? Or, you must have too much. There's kind of this blame, right, put on them. The other side of that is that survivors typically will stifle their story because they want to protect people from their pain, right? And so for so long, these women and men have been carrying their stories to protect other people. And this opportunity is them just to shed that shit, let that shit go and be completely honest and free about it, not have to censor themselves anymore. We've been censored for so long. The reason I started it is because one on one sessions with different sexual assault survivors, I was hearing the same story, the same story and the story of isolation and feeling so alone. And I'm like, hey, look, we're not alone. Let's come together. Why not come together and heal together in community? We're supposed to be in community, right? We're supposed to feel together, not in these, like you said, one on one boxes.

Yeah.

And so that is really the feedback that I get over and over from these people who participate in the circle is, man, when I heard her say that, it made me feel free to tell my story. That happened to me, too. And that's fucking bullshit. They get to express it and make it their own.

Yeah. And not feel alone, for sure. It's their opportunity to really step into that and to share their story versus what they're told everyday life. They're told so much like, oh, no, shove it down. Protect the person. Just deal with it. Write your own and in that writing circle, they get the opportunity to be witnessed and to be seen and to also see others and to just take the shame away from the trauma, because trauma isn't something anyone ever chooses. And just stepping out of that shame, that's really great.

Yeah.

Okay, so why don't we go ahead and dive into our topic for today, which we've already been talking about.

I was going to say we haven't done that already.

Officially, I guess I.

Think I'll just start with how it started. I really said everything that needs to be said about the circle, but I'll share a little bit about how it started and some of the participants in their experience, because this really isn't about me, it's about them and their healing. And I don't want to speak for them, but it started because of that alone piece, right. The isolation that I was seeing. And I wanted to start a group, and I struggled with a little bit about what I wanted it to look like. We're still in pandemic times, we're still in this opportunity of going online, and I really wanted it to be big. I wanted to offer it to multiple people all over the United States, whoever needed it. So I found a book by Jen Cross. I'm giving her all the credit, jen Cross, and she wrote a book called Writing Ourselves Whole. And this book is all about how she started healing her own sexual trauma through writing. And she started doing writing circles in churches, in libraries, and she just started bringing people together. And she talks a lot about censorship. And one of the ground rules that she shares in the beginning is to not censor yourself in sharing pieces of the writing and not taking responsibility for other people's triggers. And I had to sit with that as a therapist for a little bit, right? How do I keep people safe in the circle and also allow people to share uncensored? So we do talk a lot about that. That's kind of the circle, right? I mean, we talk about the censoring, we talk about the triggering. And the women know that there is a possibility that they will get triggered and that they can get through that. These women are amazing that I've worked with. They can get through a trigger, right? They know how to get through a trigger. They can do that. They can do that with their own therapist. They can do that together. I'm available to help them through that. And it hasn't happened yet.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's so great. Such a cool place for people to be able to know that they can get through a trigger, right? I think so often I have a lot of thoughts on triggers, but so often we kind of come to this place of like, oh, no, we have to kind of tiptoe, right? But the person is already experiencing the triggers. The triggers are already happening in daily life, right? And so them being able to move through that A, with the safety and support of a community, with you there as a person that's guiding the circle and with their own therapist, there's support networks within that, that they have their own strength, right? Like their own ability to be able to cope through something really difficult because they already freaking have. They have been for so long. So I really like that that gives them this opportunity to be vulnerable with themselves and to work through some hard stuff, but to also know that they're not alone, that they have so much around them. And I also heard you sharing with the pieces of some people's cameras around, some people's cameras around. Just being a place wherever you are is okay. You can come, however, wherever, just being able to be right where you are, and that's perfectly acceptable, which so much doesn't happen in our world, right? We are expected to again, that damn box is just going to keep coming up, but just squeeze ourselves into this space and be into this whatever place where we have to do XYZ a certain way and show up a certain way. And really, in this group, they get to be exactly how they are, exactly who they are, right. Where they're at in the moment of healing that they're at. And it's perfectly acceptable for them to do that with the support of others.

Yeah, I love that you bring that up. And it reminds me that in the very beginning, I ask if there's anyone who's willing to be a mentor, who's willing to share a phone number, share an email. And so a lot of times, after circle, they will reach out to each other. They will say, hey, great circle. Hey, thanks for sharing, and they will use each other as mentors to deal with some of those triggers. Right. And to say, hey, tonight was really tough. What did you think? Or, hey, tonight was freaking awesome. Right? I learned all these things about you.

How cool.

Tell me more. Really encouraging them to create that mentorship with each other, with their own community. And so that's a really important piece, too, of the system.

Yeah, absolutely. Having that community around them and community of survivors of people that are taking really shitty experiences and moving through them and finding their own way. Yeah. So if you could share a little bit. I know you said a few minutes ago that part of the writing circle is that after each person shares, I think that they also share feedback with one another. So maybe if you can share a little bit more about that piece and how that works and what that looks like for your people.

Yeah. That being seen again. But also, I hear you kind of saying, I'm having a really hard time finding the words I'm meaning today. But it's almost like taking it from a first person account. So it's not them saying, like, oh, hey, why don't you try XYZ? Or do this. It's not something that's distance. Right. It's something that's very, like, personal. It's something that they're sharing. Like, hey, wow, this is how that sat with me, or, this is what I saw, and thank you for sharing that, because I've been going through something. And again, that feeling of not being alone. So it's very personal.

It is. It's that, too. And it's the validation that their story is real. It's that validation piece because so many times you'll hear sexual assault survivors say, am I making that up? Maybe that really didn't happen. Maybe it's not that bad. Because this is lies that society tells us. Right?

Yeah.

Oh, it wasn't that bad. Whatever the fuck the story is. Right?

Yeah.

And so when these women get feedback to say, wow, that is really shitty. What happened to you? Or, there's a validation there that they may not have ever received before, and there's something so powerful about validation that, yes, this did happen. Right? Yes, this did happen. And now I'm empowering myself to write my own story and to tell my own story now.

Yeah. That's beautiful. Okay, well, I know share I guess it's not a client, but one of the person's experiences that they shared with you and just let their words kind of speak for themselves. If you would like to share that, I would love to hear that, how that feels for them.

Yes. And I thank you for allowing the space to do that, because this is not about me. Again, I want to express that fully and make sure that this is known, that this is not about me. This is about them and their experience. I really wanted to give voice, and yes, if you'll give me permission to read something that one of the participants wrote here.

Yes.

She says one of the things that makes Writing Circle so unique in this experience is the freedom. In many groups, the sharing gets stifled. There are rules and boundaries in regards to sharing and not over sharing so that others don't get triggered by our truths and experiences. Writing Circle gave me a unique opportunity to express myself with an honesty and rawness that I have not found in other avenues. I am indebted to the women who have chosen to show up every week. They are truly beautiful, fiery, badasses.

I love that. I love the piece about not like I mean, it's a theme, but not censoring the truth. Like, just sharing their truth and yeah. Owning the fact that they are all fiery and badasses.

Right.

Like, just the people that I'm sure show up to that group has a room full of badass people.

And I think, too, just to add to that in preparing for this a little bit, it's courageous, right? It's brave. It's so brave and courageous to show up like that and to be so vulnerable. And that's why I keep saying it's not about me. It's about these people who show up with bravery, honesty, and they're ready, man. They are ready. The world hasn't been ready for them, but they are ready, and they see that in each other and that's why it's so powerful.

Yeah, I got chills. That's awesome. Okay, well, why don't we go ahead and take a quick break, then come back to the rest of our show so I can share a few resources and all of Katie's social stuff and links to everything, links to the writing circle, is that right? I can provide that maybe in the show notes or how does that work?

Absolutely, yes. I'll provide you with the information. Awesome.

Wonderful. So if you're interested in any of the writing circles that Katie provides, that.

You can look into those because it's.

All over the United States, so you don't have to live anywhere specific, kind of like within those confines of therapy, that you can take part of this really wonderful experience. All right, we'll take a quick break.

All right, so I hope you are enjoying this episode so far, and I just want to take a quick pause to share with you a few resources. So if you are looking for more ways to feel grounded and more ways to practice mindfulness in your daily life.

With real actionable steps, I've developed a.

Workbook that will walk you through developing this skill. It comes from a trauma informed lens.

So if you've tried mindfulness before and.

You'Ve maybe felt like it's been more triggering than useful, that could be because you were actively dealing with a trauma response. So this workbook is designed for trauma survivors, and more than that, it gives you those actionable steps and is really just packed with information. Whether your schedule is a stay at home caregiver or someone that works a nine to five or something else entirely, this workbook has something in it. So head over to Soulmissionemdrtherapy.com podcast. You can subscribe to our newsletter where you'll get reminders once a month about new content and an email with your free workbook that you can download as many times as you want and have access to that link as I update it with new information. So, again, that link is Soulmissionemdrthertherapy.com Podcast, and you can also find that link in the show notes. If you are enjoying this episode so.

Far, which I really hope that you.

Are, because I'm enjoying this conversation and you think it might be useful for someone else to hear, please consider leaving us a review either on your favorite podcast platform that you listen to, or on podchaser.com. And lastly, if you'd like to work with me, and you either live in Arizona or Florida, I now have openings for EMDR intensive sessions. So EMDR intensive sessions are longer than your standard 50 minutes therapy session and can really help people reach a place of grounding and healing from past trauma quicker than the standard talk therapy session once per week. So if you want to find more about this, I invite you to set up a free 15 minutes consultation. We can chat about if this is.

The type of work that's right for you.

And if it's not, I really would love to refer you to someone else that maybe is the right fit for you. So to do that, you can go to Soulmission Emdrtherapycontact, which will also be in the show notes. All right, let's go back to this episode.

So this next part of the show is providers aren't robots. And you already hit on this point here. But I find oftentimes, I think with a lot of providers that when people come in, right, they're seeing us in an office or in a very specific little window and we are often seeing them at a very hard point in their lives. And so there's often this perception, at least maybe until the client gets to know you or the person gets to know the provider, that we're kind of in this little insta bubble and we just are not real people sometimes. And so this part of the show is just kind of about normalizing, that we're not robots and that we're humans too and show that humanness. So I didn't know if you had maybe an example that you wanted to share as part of your humanness and how you.

Think. It took a little while for me to find that it was okay to be a human in this profession. I think that's part of what's happening right now in the evolution of therapy. In general, I can speak to myself, but I think in general, people like you are doing this podcast to get out of that bubble in the confines, right? And we are wanting to express ourselves in different ways that we know would work. But I think just to backtrack a little bit and to try to answer your question, for me, the humanness comes from not knowing everything. Trauma is so complex. I mean, being a human is complex, right?

Yeah.

So you're putting two humans in a room together to try to problem solve and each individual person that comes my way, I don't know everything, I'm not all powerful. And when I realize that is when things shifted. And to be able to be honest with someone, to say, I better look about that, I'm not sure, let me consult, let me ask a friend. So for me, that really is the humanness about what we do is knowing that we don't know. And there's so much continued learning to take place as. The world changes and new generations come up, anxiety and depression has skyrocketed since the pandemic. How has our own therapy practice changed since the pandemic? If you didn't change something, go back and look at what's happening. There's just so much there. And just to know that there's constant learning to take place, I think has been the biggest part of me being a human and growth through the work that I've been doing.

Yeah, absolutely. I'll share that, at least from my experience as going through schooling and doing all this stuff to become a therapist. Right. And maybe this is where my passion for boxes come from, honestly, was this idea of, like, this is how you sit, this is how you talk, this is how you be a therapist. Let me put my therapist hat on and fit myself into this neat little box. But that's not an honest reflection of what it means to be a human. And if we're being honest, who wants to sit in a room with a person that put themselves into this tiny little box as a trauma survivor sharing, how would you feel as, like, gosh, how am I even supposed to share these deep, dark pieces of myself with this person that's sitting across from me? That seems perfect, right? And just allowing ourselves to be the human that we are, obviously in appropriate ways, like, we don't want all the pieces about therapy, of over sharing or sharing, whatever, but of just showing up as a human and saying, like, hey, I don't know everything. I'm going to have to phone a friend or look that up or figure out some resources because I don't know everything.

Yeah, I think you're going somewhere. Yeah, let's not even get started on the self disclosure piece, okay?

That's a whole nother podcast, whole nother episode. All right, so let's move into the next piece, this trauma tip of the week. And I share this here because I really want these actionable pieces for people that are possibly listening. Obviously, you can go and look up the writing circle and giving you access to other providers, but I also want to give a very real way of regulating or managing trauma in some kind of way. And so what is the one tip or the one thing that you just wish everyone on planet knew, understood, or could take away to manage trauma or regulate trauma? However you want to play, right?

Write it down.

Write oh, you're saying like, write yes. Write it down.

Write it down. Write it down. Whether it's your goals for the day, whether it's something you want to manifest, whether it's how angry you are at your partner or how grateful you are for waking up another day, whatever it is, write it down. Write it down. There's so much power in writing something down, seeing your words on paper, visually, there's power in that. There's a creative part of your brain that works in a different way when you write something down. And with that being said, Candace, if I have something else to share on that yeah, 100%. So a lot of people have trauma around writing whether somebody found their journal when they were little and read it out loud or used their words against them. And so I want to honor that, and I want to honor those people that are saying, I'm not writing anything down ever again, because what if my husband finds it? Or what if somebody reads it? And I want to honor that and I want to give them a tip on that. Something that I love to do every year is burn most of the things that I have written throughout the year. There's something about that ritual for me that is cleansing and healing. And I want people to know that they can write something and they can rip it up, they can burn it, they can hide it in a secret, safe place. And it's also a really good lesson in what if the people that I'm with now are trustworthy. What if I knew that the people that I'm with now would never read my stuff? And what a great lesson about trust and intimacy to challenge themselves in that area. Right. I wanted to share the second piece of that, to honor that there is trauma around writing and that not everybody is going to jump to journaling. But.

Yeah, I really appreciate you sharing that because I feel like what you just shared has so many layers to it. So writing in and of itself, we've already talked about the power of writing. And being able to write something down, anything down right. Makes it real because it takes it from what's circulating up here in our brain to something in front of us that we can see. So it gives that space for it. It was already real, but to give it that vividness. Right. But then to also be able to have a practice that feels safe, that feels honoring, to be able to cleanse out the stuff that okay, this is gone. This is out of my head, my system, whatever. And to be able to, again, move through that and to progress through that and to also find safety and trust in stuff isn't happening anymore. Here's the person I'm with now. Or just finding that new level that maybe they weren't affordable for them before.

Absolutely.

Yeah. So powerful. Okay. Just to kind of hone in on our humanness and good. Kind of fun way to wrap up the show. Are you ready?

I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be.

Okay. All right. Where would you go if you could visit any place on Earth?

I'm going to Scotland in September.

Okay.

Yes. I'm doing a retreat, and I'm very excited about it.

That's so cool. Oh, my God.

Yes.

This is kind of a random question. What's the weather like in scotland cold and rainy.

I'm from Portland, so I'll fit right in. Yeah. It'll be cold and rainy in September and I have to deal with it. I've come to acceptance. Candace.

It's okay. It's all right. Well, and I was thinking in my head when I was visualizing got lin in my head, I was thinking of something that was kind of cold and cloudy. Those kind of just want to make you cuddle up with a good book and tea kind of thing vibes, but I wasn't sure if that was quite accurate.

There will be heat therapy there. So we got that going.

About that.

Good question. We have this argument all the time with my boyfriend's son and my son. We quite enjoy it. They do not. We have talked about not shaming people for their food choices and we'll leave it at that.

I like it. I like not shaming people for their food choices. I'm a pineapple pizza person. Generally have very strong opinions about this topic.

I didn't realize that.

Pineapple. What makes you feel inspired or motivated to do the work that you love?

Oh, hands down the people I work with.

Yeah, absolutely.

Hands down. There's no other answer to that.

Yeah, agreed. What is one thing people are generally surprised to find out about you?

I did not prepare for this question. I think honestly, something that some people might be surprised to find about me is that in the last five years I have really become more of an introvert. I don't think people would know that about me from meeting me right away, but as I've gotten more honest with myself and created more boundaries for myself, I'm finding that there is this beautiful introvert inside of me that hasn't ever shown herself. And I love that piece of me and I love the extrovert and I love how they flow back and forth.

That's so cool. That's such a cool dance that you just described of just flowing in and out of finding who you are. Yeah.

We live in an introverts in an extrovert world, right. Where extroverted people are seen a certain way. There's some type of idealization around extroverts. Right. And the truth is that there are more introverts than there are extroverts. Just learning to be in that skin has been a journey. Has been an interesting journey.

Sure. Thank you for showing that.

All right, last question. Right?

Okay. Yeah. Last question. What does a simple moment look like for you?

I'm going to have to say my child, my eleven year old is hilarious. And just the simple things like watching him download his own spotify playlist now, singing when he's in the bathroom, getting ready for school, it's those little things like that that remind me of what that joy is like as a child and just experiencing that again, it's so easy. It just brings me joy. Yeah.

I love that I feel that way about my own kid. These just little moments of just little things throughout the day. Like, was it last night? My kid's a little bit over one and so he ran over to me and this was part where he was a little laugh happy, like it was about bedtime. He ran up with his arm, like, big smile on his face, just like just like as if he was riding a roller coaster. Those moments were just like every day.

Yeah. Makes you want to throw your hands up.

That's right. Okay, well, Katie, thank you so much for sharing with me today and sharing with our listeners. And all of Katie's information and links will all be in the show notes as well as a link to the book by Jen Croft.

Yeah. Candace, thank you so much for reaching out and I really appreciate the work that you're doing. I look forward to hearing other providers talking on your podcast and just continuing to support this community that's out here doing things and continuing to bring a voice to the people who are healing through these new modalities. So thank you for the work that you're doing as well.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for joining me today on Moving Out of Trauma. If you'd like today's episode and you think it might be useful for someone else, please consider leaving us a review on your favorite podcast platform or on podchaser.com. And if you have any questions at all, I would absolutely love to hear from you. You can find me over on Instagram at Soul mission. Emdrtherapy or on Facebook at soul mission emdrther therapy if you'd like. Please stay tuned for the visualization exercises coming up next to transition to the next part of your day. And remember, you did not choose trauma and you can choose your path towards healing. This is moving out of trauma.

So I just want to invite you to find a comfortable position and to make sure that you're doing this exercise somewhere safe, somewhere where you feel that you can take a few moments for yourself and definitely not while you're driving. So we're going to start with the container activity and then move into the calm seat place. So it's good to have a secure place where you can store memories and issues and things that may need still some work, but also maybe you don't need to focus on them right at this point. So if you think about it almost like cleaning up the files on your desktop computer so you can just feel a little bit less overwhelmed and focus.

A little bit more efficiently.

Files are in a safe place, you can access them next time that you need to. So to start creating this container, I'd like you to imagine some kind of container or storage system that can securely hold as much as you need it to for as long as you need it to, until you're ready to work on it again. So this container can be something you imagine. It could be something that's real. We just want to make sure that this container has a lid or some type of secure closure. So that way there's a way to take things out only when you want to. Now, it's important to note we don't want to put people in containers, but we can put memories and feelings and any kind of situation. So take a moment and really think about what that container might look like. Notice how the container feels. Notice how it feels that it's there for you should you choose to use it or when you choose to use it. And now if you need to use that container, I want you to picture allowing whatever needs to go in there to take its place in there. This can happen slowly, this can happen quickly. However it needs to happen, it's okay. Just allow the pieces, the memories, the thoughts, the feelings, the situation, whatever it is, to just slowly take its place into that container. Now, once you feel like the things that need to be in the container are in there, I want you to close that container. Some people like to imagine that there's a lock there or some kind of secured closure beyond just a lid. So if you like, you can go ahead and lock that and then just imagine it kind of taking its place back into wherever it needs to be. So this could be a place that you think of in your home. This could be an imaginary place, wherever it is, just someplace that we know that it's there when we need it. And now we're going to transition to that calm, state, change place. So this is a really good activity to develop a couple of ways to feel more calm and secure without really needing to rely on something or someone external than us. So one way we can do this, to create this type of place that you can visit internally whenever you want. Kind of like having an instant mini vacation on demand. So see if you can think of a place where you might feel a sense of calm or a sense of well being. You can imagine a place that's similar to one that you've experienced or heard about or read about. It's best not to use a specific memory with people, though, from your own history. So some people like to think of the beach or the woods, mountains, maybe someplace they feel cozy. So just notice this place. Notice what you hear, notice what you smell. Look around. What do you see? What do you feel? Maybe either the temperature, the time of day, even down to how you feel in your body as you imagine yourself in this place. Really just allowing yourself to soak up every single positive part of this place. The way it looks.

The things that.

You hear, the things that you smell, the things that you might be able to touch any textures or temperatures.

And.

Really encapsulating what you feel in your body as you're in this place, as long as it feels good and calm in a place of centeredness. Now, knowing that this place is always available to you because it is within you, it's a place of your very own making. Place that you can return anytime you need. Whether it's for quick, deep breaths, returning the center, or maybe even winding down for the evening. This place is always here for you. So this recording is going to finish, but if you'd like to stay in this place a while longer, you're certainly more than welcome to do so. And I hope that you'll join me next time on Moving Out of Trauma.