Artwork for podcast Own Your Calendar: Aligning Your Business & Life Goals
Break Free from Productivity Addiction: Drop the Armor and Thrive at Work with Christine Jewell
Episode 644th June 2024 • Own Your Calendar: Aligning Your Business & Life Goals • Stephen Box
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In part 2 of our 5-part series with Christine Jewell, faith-based executive coach and author of Drop The Armor, discover why you might feel stuck in a loop of work stress and burnout.

Christine reveals common traps that keep you busy but unproductive, and shares steps to find peace at work. Tune in for practical insights that can help you thrive in your professional life.

How to connect with Christine:

Book: https://www.thechristinejewell.com/dropit

Website: https://www.thechristinejewell.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thechristinejewell

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thechristinejewell

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christine-jewell-9361612a/

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Transcripts

Stephen Box:

Welcome to Unshakable Habits.

Stephen Box:

I am your host, Stephen Box, and if you joined us yesterday, then you know

Stephen Box:

this week we are really talking to the person out there That is completely

Stephen Box:

overwhelmed by their schedule.

Stephen Box:

You just have too many things on your plate, and it feels like you're always

Stephen Box:

behind no matter how hard you are working.

Stephen Box:

And my guest this week is Christine Jewell, the author of Drop the Armor

Stephen Box:

and a faith based executive coach.

Stephen Box:

so Christine, yesterday you were talking to us about just this idea of letting

Stephen Box:

some of these things go trusting in God and really not depending on ourselves.

Stephen Box:

And I know one of the places that is super hard for a lot of us to do,

Stephen Box:

personally raising my hand right now, is when it comes to work, because we

Stephen Box:

have been taught that being busy is being productive and we've been taught

Stephen Box:

that productivity is the pinnacle of what we're supposed to be doing.

Stephen Box:

So talk to me about this.

Stephen Box:

Why is this such a problem?

Stephen Box:

Like, why is it that we think that we need to be busy all the time?

Christine Jewell:

Yeah, I actually think it's an addiction.

Christine Jewell:

I think it's an addiction.

Christine Jewell:

First of all, I want to say a couple of things.

Christine Jewell:

Number one, there's a world program, right?

Christine Jewell:

That, busy people.

Christine Jewell:

Hey, how you doing?

Christine Jewell:

Great.

Christine Jewell:

I'm crazy.

Christine Jewell:

It's busy, right?

Christine Jewell:

Like it's worn like a badge of honor.

Christine Jewell:

We already know it's twisted and doesn't really make sense, but the program is

Christine Jewell:

still prevalent that if you're slowing down or you have space in your schedule,

Christine Jewell:

somehow, maybe something's wrong.

Christine Jewell:

You're not doing enough.

Christine Jewell:

So there's a lot of collective.

Christine Jewell:

programming around that.

Christine Jewell:

That is so distorted.

Christine Jewell:

Secondly, it's also just, it's habitual.

Christine Jewell:

We program our nervous systems to always need to be running, always be cramming

Christine Jewell:

more things in so that when, and we have to remember your nervous system, because

Christine Jewell:

we're talking about the habits, right?

Christine Jewell:

95 percent or more of what we do is on autopilot.

Christine Jewell:

So we always repeat what your system remembers, like when

Christine Jewell:

it's unconsciously operating.

Christine Jewell:

So if you're MO, your nervous system's home is frenetic, agitated, right?

Christine Jewell:

And you always have to be in this chaotic thing.

Christine Jewell:

It's literally like an addiction where anytime there's peace or calm, or

Christine Jewell:

there's not a million things on the stove, you're just like, Wait a second.

Christine Jewell:

Is everything okay?

Christine Jewell:

And that's actually scary because it's not familiar.

Christine Jewell:

So even though it feels bad and we don't like it, it's familiar.

Christine Jewell:

So it hits that security button and the familiarity button.

Christine Jewell:

And so this is where it's really what do you want the new normal to be?

Christine Jewell:

And that is one of the first questions I ask all of the people also that I work

Christine Jewell:

with and I ask myself all the time when I'm in a season of I don't like this.

Christine Jewell:

I don't like being scheduled, morning till night, always be running,

Christine Jewell:

trying to cram food in, but there's all these lies in my head around

Christine Jewell:

why I have to operate that way.

Christine Jewell:

But this is also like the familiar place and this is why it's hard to

Christine Jewell:

keep promises to yourself sometimes.

Christine Jewell:

Right?

Stephen Box:

Yeah.

Stephen Box:

and when we talk about some of those promises, right?

Stephen Box:

Throughout this week, we're going to talk about relationships and health, right?

Stephen Box:

And I think some of the biggest promises that we tend to make is I'm

Stephen Box:

going to spend more time with my kids.

Stephen Box:

I'm going to do things with my significant other.

Stephen Box:

I'm going to make time for my health.

Stephen Box:

Those are the promises that we tend to make to ourselves a lot that we break.

Christine Jewell:

Yeah.

Christine Jewell:

I'm going to stop and actually eat lunch, have a proper meal.

Christine Jewell:

And then we're just like, We don't keep promises to ourselves, and I

Christine Jewell:

just want to say this, and this is not necessarily a topic, but I'm going

Christine Jewell:

to add it in, every time you break a promise to yourself, you erode trust.

Christine Jewell:

So when you erode your own trust, you erode your own confidence.

Christine Jewell:

So people that are also in this state of overwhelm and are always breaking

Christine Jewell:

promises, what you start to notice is your confidence really starts dropping.

Stephen Box:

Yeah, I love that you bring this up because, I'll just add here

Stephen Box:

that not only are you taking away your own trust because if you think about

Stephen Box:

this from the standpoint of if someone else constantly cancels on you, you're

Stephen Box:

irritated with that person and you stop trusting that they're going to show up.

Stephen Box:

But here's the other thing.

Stephen Box:

When you make a mistake, are you not harder on yourself than you are on

Stephen Box:

other people when they make mistakes?

Stephen Box:

That same thing is going to apply here.

Stephen Box:

When you start breaking promises to yourself, you'll actually be even harder

Stephen Box:

on yourself for breaking those promises than you are for that other person.

Stephen Box:

And think about how you probably react to other people when they

Stephen Box:

break promises and realize you're not treating yourself any worse.

Christine Jewell:

Yeah.

Christine Jewell:

And I think, that's what I, when I talk about dropping the armor and the weight,

Christine Jewell:

we don't even realize how much unconscious weight around being angry at ourselves

Christine Jewell:

there is that we are not even aware of.

Christine Jewell:

Like we're so angry at ourselves because we're not doing the

Christine Jewell:

thing that we know we should.

Christine Jewell:

And then there's all this guilt and then there's all this shame

Christine Jewell:

and it's a very heavy place to be.

Christine Jewell:

And so now we're in this like swimming pool of these really

Christine Jewell:

heavy, dense emotions, but we can't seem to get out of it, right?

Christine Jewell:

So going back to feeling overwhelmed and also just not, not being able to keep

Christine Jewell:

promises to yourself and looking around.

Christine Jewell:

It's I think you said something earlier about, it's not so much of what.

Christine Jewell:

We want to say no to, I think in a release, it's sometimes we have to focus

Christine Jewell:

on what we're really saying yes to.

Christine Jewell:

And that's also a reframe is to go, you know what, I'm afraid.

Christine Jewell:

So what we focus is on the fear of saying no, or the fear of losing

Christine Jewell:

out, which is now we're got, we're focused on fear and lack.

Christine Jewell:

How's that work for growth?

Christine Jewell:

Like it does that, right?

Christine Jewell:

Instead of going, if I say yes, and I go all in with this

Christine Jewell:

thing, then what can I create?

Christine Jewell:

Now we're putting on a creator's hat.

Christine Jewell:

And now, because we're fully saying yes to one thing, everything

Christine Jewell:

else is not an option anymore.

Christine Jewell:

Yeah.

Christine Jewell:

A lot of us are straddling all the time.

Christine Jewell:

Everything's an option.

Stephen Box:

Yeah.

Stephen Box:

that reminds me of, the book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

Stephen Box:

there was a line in there that always stuck with me and I used it

Stephen Box:

outside of just the idea of money.

Stephen Box:

I used it for a lot of different stuff, but it was this idea of the

Stephen Box:

poor dad would say, I wish I could.

Christine Jewell:

I

Stephen Box:

would say, how can I?

Stephen Box:

And I think this, that concept applies here where it's instead of

Stephen Box:

saying, Oh, I wish I could let go of all this stuff and not have all

Stephen Box:

these expectations and not have to carry around this big, heavy armor.

Stephen Box:

The question becomes, how can I let go?

Christine Jewell:

Yeah.

Christine Jewell:

And even, yes.

Christine Jewell:

And let's take that even one further.

Christine Jewell:

which is if I had already done it, what would I have gotten rid of?

Christine Jewell:

So now we're going into future state and now we're not even

Christine Jewell:

thinking like now we're already envisioning, like it's already done.

Christine Jewell:

And so we, you already have the answer.

Christine Jewell:

People already have the answer.

Christine Jewell:

The question is, am I going to be ruled by fear or am I going to be ruled by the

Christine Jewell:

yes to what I'm being called to build?

Christine Jewell:

And this is like the eternal question that man and woman has to face every day.

Christine Jewell:

Will I be a creator of the new?

Christine Jewell:

Or will I be terrified to let go of the old?

Christine Jewell:

It's just look at any great story, whether you're looking at biblical

Christine Jewell:

stories or any one, you have to leave.

Christine Jewell:

The familiar to go into the new space, as we're thinking about how do I

Christine Jewell:

get rid of this overwhelm at work?

Christine Jewell:

I always say overwhelm is just a lack of clarity.

Christine Jewell:

Honestly at the end of the day It's are you super clear on what your heck?

Christine Jewell:

Yes, this is the authorized work and if I can just focus on this everything

Christine Jewell:

else will become easier It's like the concept of the one thing, which is like,

Christine Jewell:

what is the one thing that if I just do this, everything else becomes easier or

Christine Jewell:

unnecessary or essentialism or effortless.

Christine Jewell:

There's so many different concepts and it's, there's so much science behind

Christine Jewell:

this, but we're still so caught up in the program, and it's important to recognize

Christine Jewell:

what program has been running because once you're aware, now you're choosing.

Stephen Box:

You said something yesterday actually that caught my attention and

Stephen Box:

it was that when you were saying you're going through your circumstances and

Stephen Box:

you had this moment of overwhelm that prior to that you were looking at the

Stephen Box:

programming you grew up with where it was like, Oh, you, if you're fit, if you're

Stephen Box:

winning the medals and the trophies and you're achieving this and you're doing

Stephen Box:

all these things, then you're successful.

Stephen Box:

And that was the programming that you were given and as you were a

Stephen Box:

few minutes ago talking about how sometimes we get caught up in that

Stephen Box:

denseness of those expectations.

Stephen Box:

If programming that we've had is that you have to achieve, you have to do

Stephen Box:

all these things and you go back to your familiarity, which is something

Stephen Box:

else you talked about yesterday.

Stephen Box:

your familiarity is work harder, achieve more.

Stephen Box:

completely counterintutive right?

Christine Jewell:

more is better, right?

Stephen Box:

Yeah, I'm overwhelmed, let me do more.

Christine Jewell:

Yeah.

Christine Jewell:

You say it like that, it sounds stupid,

Stephen Box:

right?

Christine Jewell:

Yeah.

Christine Jewell:

Yeah, so crazy, so true.

Christine Jewell:

I agree, and again, it's like, So much of the world programming,

Christine Jewell:

and I just want to say this, so much of the world programming, so

Christine Jewell:

much of what we've been taught.

Christine Jewell:

We have to remember, like, where did we grow, learn a lot of this in

Christine Jewell:

a lot of institutionalized areas.

Christine Jewell:

We have to remember that a lot of the ways that we've been taught to learn, to

Christine Jewell:

grow all of these things were based out of an era of industrialism where we're

Christine Jewell:

like, they were creating factory workers.

Christine Jewell:

Rockefeller was going like, I need factory workers, so can

Christine Jewell:

you just go take these guys?

Christine Jewell:

Educate them to just pump, pump, pump, pump, pump to do more.

Christine Jewell:

But they were really creating people who could think for

Christine Jewell:

themselves and operate from freedom.

Christine Jewell:

And so we have to think about is a lot of this programming coming out of this

Christine Jewell:

era where they were just creating factory workers and they were trying to squeeze

Christine Jewell:

as much as they could out of people instead of really creating an opportunity.

Christine Jewell:

where people are actually wanting freedom and peace and balance and

Christine Jewell:

they're like, that wasn't part of the original program, right?

Christine Jewell:

And so this is really it.

Christine Jewell:

and.

Christine Jewell:

Yeah, I think that we have to remember.

Christine Jewell:

And I just want to say this.

Christine Jewell:

One of the things that I decided when I hit that point was like, I start,

Christine Jewell:

I was like, not willing to say yes to anything that did not give me peace.

Christine Jewell:

Cause for me, I was like so tired of being stressed out.

Christine Jewell:

And so again, like being stressed in my work was no longer an option.

Christine Jewell:

You know what I'm saying?

Christine Jewell:

I wasn't like, Oh, I need to get rid of stress.

Christine Jewell:

I need to release stress.

Christine Jewell:

I need to not be stressed.

Christine Jewell:

It wasn't focusing on getting rid of stress.

Christine Jewell:

It was focusing on.

Christine Jewell:

Peace.

Christine Jewell:

I am no longer a factory worker in a system of just pumping things out.

Christine Jewell:

I'm not a machine.

Christine Jewell:

I'm going to choose the path that is going to make me feel like a human being.

Stephen Box:

Yeah, it's, the thing I love about like doing stuff like this

Stephen Box:

is sometimes people say things and it's something you've said yourself, but

Stephen Box:

they say it in a slightly different way that just makes it pop, right?

Stephen Box:

I've said a number of times when it comes to stress management, I tell people all

Stephen Box:

the time, look, sometimes you can't reduce stress, but you can focus on recovery.

Stephen Box:

It's the same concept you just said, but you just the reframe

Stephen Box:

of I'm going after peace, right?

Stephen Box:

that's what it is.

Stephen Box:

I love that reframe.

Stephen Box:

And I think what that comes down to is, and correct me if I'm wrong here,

Stephen Box:

but it sounds like what you're saying, really the solution to this problem is

Stephen Box:

getting your priorities in alignment and getting clear on what they are.

Christine Jewell:

For sure.

Christine Jewell:

It is.

Christine Jewell:

it's a couple things.

Christine Jewell:

Number one, it's really making a decision.

Christine Jewell:

What are you consciously creating?

Christine Jewell:

What do you want to build?

Christine Jewell:

what are you saying yes to?

Christine Jewell:

Like that you're drawing a line in the sand.

Christine Jewell:

And so this is why I start with this is because a lot, when I say overwhelm is

Christine Jewell:

always a symptom of a lack of clarity, because we're saying yes to everything.

Christine Jewell:

I had a meeting early this morning with a lady that owns a business.

Christine Jewell:

And she was, I asked her the same question.

Christine Jewell:

I'm like, what is your.

Christine Jewell:

Heck yes, I am building this.

Christine Jewell:

I'm so excited about it.

Christine Jewell:

And she was like, I actually don't really know.

Christine Jewell:

Cause she was so consumed by all the things.

Christine Jewell:

So it's are you clear on that?

Christine Jewell:

And the second piece of that, because are you willing to make a decision?

Christine Jewell:

that it gets to be that and not everything else.

Christine Jewell:

That's the thing.

Christine Jewell:

We can have clarity, but if we don't have decisiveness, okay, yeah, I

Christine Jewell:

know I'm going to build a team.

Christine Jewell:

I know I'm going to do this at work.

Christine Jewell:

I'm going to focus on this project, but then I have a

Christine Jewell:

million other projects to work on.

Christine Jewell:

It's we need to make a decision, right?

Christine Jewell:

cause the word decide you.

Christine Jewell:

It means to kill off, actually.

Christine Jewell:

You make an incision and you kill off all other options.

Christine Jewell:

So when you make a decision, now this doesn't mean necessarily that you may

Christine Jewell:

not also work on other projects, but it means like you set aside a deep work block

Christine Jewell:

where you are just focusing on that key project and this is the season for that.

Christine Jewell:

So being in decision and the third thing I want to say around this is really.

Christine Jewell:

Recognizing that God is the only one that is supposed to be all knowing, all

Christine Jewell:

powerful, omnipresent, multitasking, okay?

Christine Jewell:

Humans were not designed to be in all places, at all times, doing all things.

Christine Jewell:

What we are designed to do is do one thing, the right thing, at the right time.

Christine Jewell:

Even Jesus, when he went into a town to heal people, he didn't

Christine Jewell:

heal every single person, right?

Christine Jewell:

He healed the person that the Father told him to heal.

Christine Jewell:

And he moved on.

Christine Jewell:

think about the Samaritan woman.

Christine Jewell:

He spoke to her and then he let her go and do the work of

Christine Jewell:

telling all the other people.

Christine Jewell:

He didn't run her down and chase her and just say, okay, I just want to make

Christine Jewell:

sure now that you get the message But we, I always love to use Jesus as an

Christine Jewell:

example because I'm like, if we really watched the way that he worked, he

Christine Jewell:

wasn't doing everything all the time.

Stephen Box:

Yeah, if Jesus were to come back today, there would be

Stephen Box:

people telling him that he needs to have reels of all of his miracles.

Christine Jewell:

Yeah.

Stephen Box:

that he needs to get video testimonials from all of his healings.

Christine Jewell:

Exactly.

Stephen Box:

That, he needs to be on like all the social media channels

Stephen Box:

and he needs to go live, it would have all these things for him to do.

Stephen Box:

And it's

Christine Jewell:

And that was really, I want to say freeing for me when I

Christine Jewell:

said, I'm choosing the path of peace.

Christine Jewell:

I'm choosing the path of freedom.

Christine Jewell:

That means God doesn't really call me to do everything.

Christine Jewell:

So this gave me an incredible peace to go, okay, God, what is

Christine Jewell:

the authorized work, the mission that you have for me right now?

Christine Jewell:

In this season of my life, what is the work?

Christine Jewell:

Sometimes it's been like your work right now is to build people, build a team.

Christine Jewell:

Sometimes it's write the book, now it's do this, get the message out and I can focus.

Christine Jewell:

Now I can focus without guilt because I know what that is.

Christine Jewell:

I'm willing to say yes to it and I made the decision that

Christine Jewell:

everything else can wait,

Christine Jewell:

right?

Stephen Box:

Yes, absolutely.

Stephen Box:

All right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have you give your takeaway that you want to

Stephen Box:

make sure everybody leaves with today.

Stephen Box:

But before we do, I want you to give people a little bit of a sneak

Stephen Box:

peek because tomorrow we're going to be talking about relationships.

Stephen Box:

What is the big mistake that people are making when it comes to relationships that

Stephen Box:

we're going to be talking about tomorrow?

Christine Jewell:

I think that one of the biggest things I see is in

Christine Jewell:

relationships is putting everybody else first, having no boundaries, and say,

Christine Jewell:

being a people pleaser basically, right?

Christine Jewell:

So we're just like, I want to be, yes, I want to make everybody happy.

Christine Jewell:

I want to do all the right things.

Christine Jewell:

I don't want to rock the boat at home.

Christine Jewell:

And so we feel like leftovers because we treat ourselves like leftovers.

Stephen Box:

That sounds like it's going to be a very, conversation that's

Stephen Box:

going to probably rub some people the wrong way, but in a good way.

Christine Jewell:

Yeah.

Stephen Box:

but before we wrap up, could you give us, what is

Stephen Box:

today's takeaway that you want to make sure everybody leaves with?

Christine Jewell:

Today, I want to challenge you guys

Christine Jewell:

listening and invite you.

Christine Jewell:

if, and by the way, I'm going to preface this is only for those

Christine Jewell:

of you who really want change.

Christine Jewell:

Cause some of us think we want change, but all we really want is

Christine Jewell:

somebody to listen to our excuses.

Christine Jewell:

So if you really want change, I want to challenge you and

Christine Jewell:

invite you to make a list.

Christine Jewell:

of all the things that you've been saying yes to that you really

Christine Jewell:

need to be, that, that, you want to be saying no to secretly.

Christine Jewell:

what are all the things that you have said yes to that you

Christine Jewell:

really want to be saying no to?

Christine Jewell:

And what are all the things you keep saying no to that are the yeses?

Christine Jewell:

And I want you to circle.

Christine Jewell:

The one yes that you think is the most, if you could, if you would

Christine Jewell:

commit to doing that one thing would make everything else easier.

Stephen Box:

I think that's a really great exercise.

Stephen Box:

I just, if I can just add one thing to it, if you're not sure,

Stephen Box:

nothing pops out to you, pray on it.

Christine Jewell:

Exactly.

Christine Jewell:

Ask the Holy Spirit to shine a big ol light and just like a

Christine Jewell:

flashlight, all that list will be made very clear to you very fast.

Stephen Box:

Absolutely.

Stephen Box:

All right.

Stephen Box:

appreciate you, sharing your insights today about how we can start to find

Stephen Box:

some of this balance and drop that armor when it comes to our career.

Stephen Box:

And tomorrow we're going to be talking about those relationships and how and why.

Stephen Box:

You should maybe not be putting everybody else first.

Stephen Box:

tune in tomorrow and you'll hear that message.

Stephen Box:

And with that, I will just remind everyone that while none of us are born

Stephen Box:

unshakable, we can all become unshakable because being unshakable is a choice.

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