Break Free from Productivity Addiction: Drop the Armor and Thrive at Work with Christine Jewell

Stephen Box: 00:00:00

Welcome to Unshakable Habits.

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I am your host, Stephen Box, and if you joined us yesterday, then you know

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this week we are really talking to the person out there That is completely

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overwhelmed by their schedule.

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You just have too many things on your plate, and it feels like you're always

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behind no matter how hard you are working.

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And my guest this week is Christine Jewell, the author of Drop the Armor

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and a faith based executive coach.

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so Christine, yesterday you were talking to us about just this idea of letting

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some of these things go trusting in God and really not depending on ourselves.

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And I know one of the places that is super hard for a lot of us to do,

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personally raising my hand right now, is when it comes to work, because we

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have been taught that being busy is being productive and we've been taught

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that productivity is the pinnacle of what we're supposed to be doing.

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So talk to me about this.

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Why is this such a problem?

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Like, why is it that we think that we need to be busy all the time?

Christine Jewell: 00:01:11

Yeah, I actually think it's an addiction.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:13

I think it's an addiction.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:14

First of all, I want to say a couple of things.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:16

Number one, there's a world program, right?

Christine Jewell: 00:01:18

That, busy people.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:19

Hey, how you doing?

Christine Jewell: 00:01:20

Great.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:20

I'm crazy.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:21

It's busy, right?

Christine Jewell: 00:01:22

Like it's worn like a badge of honor.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:23

We already know it's twisted and doesn't really make sense, but the program is

Christine Jewell: 00:01:29

still prevalent that if you're slowing down or you have space in your schedule,

Christine Jewell: 00:01:32

somehow, maybe something's wrong.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:34

You're not doing enough.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:35

So there's a lot of collective.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:37

programming around that.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:39

That is so distorted.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:41

Secondly, it's also just, it's habitual.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:45

We program our nervous systems to always need to be running, always be cramming

Christine Jewell: 00:01:50

more things in so that when, and we have to remember your nervous system, because

Christine Jewell: 00:01:54

we're talking about the habits, right?

Christine Jewell: 00:01:55

95 percent or more of what we do is on autopilot.

Christine Jewell: 00:01:58

So we always repeat what your system remembers, like when

Christine Jewell: 00:02:02

it's unconsciously operating.

Christine Jewell: 00:02:04

So if you're MO, your nervous system's home is frenetic, agitated, right?

Christine Jewell: 00:02:11

And you always have to be in this chaotic thing.

Christine Jewell: 00:02:13

It's literally like an addiction where anytime there's peace or calm, or

Christine Jewell: 00:02:18

there's not a million things on the stove, you're just like, Wait a second.

Christine Jewell: 00:02:22

Is everything okay?

Christine Jewell: 00:02:23

And that's actually scary because it's not familiar.

Christine Jewell: 00:02:27

So even though it feels bad and we don't like it, it's familiar.

Christine Jewell: 00:02:30

So it hits that security button and the familiarity button.

Christine Jewell: 00:02:35

And so this is where it's really what do you want the new normal to be?

Christine Jewell: 00:02:40

And that is one of the first questions I ask all of the people also that I work

Christine Jewell: 00:02:44

with and I ask myself all the time when I'm in a season of I don't like this.

Christine Jewell: 00:02:48

I don't like being scheduled, morning till night, always be running,

Christine Jewell: 00:02:52

trying to cram food in, but there's all these lies in my head around

Christine Jewell: 00:02:56

why I have to operate that way.

Christine Jewell: 00:02:58

But this is also like the familiar place and this is why it's hard to

Christine Jewell: 00:03:02

keep promises to yourself sometimes.

Christine Jewell: 00:03:05

Right?

Stephen Box: 00:03:06

Yeah.

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and when we talk about some of those promises, right?

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Throughout this week, we're going to talk about relationships and health, right?

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And I think some of the biggest promises that we tend to make is I'm

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going to spend more time with my kids.

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I'm going to do things with my significant other.

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I'm going to make time for my health.

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Those are the promises that we tend to make to ourselves a lot that we break.

Christine Jewell: 00:03:30

Yeah.

Christine Jewell: 00:03:30

I'm going to stop and actually eat lunch, have a proper meal.

Christine Jewell: 00:03:34

And then we're just like, We don't keep promises to ourselves, and I

Christine Jewell: 00:03:37

just want to say this, and this is not necessarily a topic, but I'm going

Christine Jewell: 00:03:40

to add it in, every time you break a promise to yourself, you erode trust.

Christine Jewell: 00:03:45

So when you erode your own trust, you erode your own confidence.

Christine Jewell: 00:03:49

So people that are also in this state of overwhelm and are always breaking

Christine Jewell: 00:03:52

promises, what you start to notice is your confidence really starts dropping.

Stephen Box: 00:03:58

Yeah, I love that you bring this up because, I'll just add here

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that not only are you taking away your own trust because if you think about

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this from the standpoint of if someone else constantly cancels on you, you're

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irritated with that person and you stop trusting that they're going to show up.

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But here's the other thing.

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When you make a mistake, are you not harder on yourself than you are on

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other people when they make mistakes?

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That same thing is going to apply here.

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When you start breaking promises to yourself, you'll actually be even harder

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on yourself for breaking those promises than you are for that other person.

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And think about how you probably react to other people when they

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break promises and realize you're not treating yourself any worse.

Christine Jewell: 00:04:41

Yeah.

Christine Jewell: 00:04:42

And I think, that's what I, when I talk about dropping the armor and the weight,

Christine Jewell: 00:04:45

we don't even realize how much unconscious weight around being angry at ourselves

Christine Jewell: 00:04:50

there is that we are not even aware of.

Christine Jewell: 00:04:52

Like we're so angry at ourselves because we're not doing the

Christine Jewell: 00:04:56

thing that we know we should.

Christine Jewell: 00:04:57

And then there's all this guilt and then there's all this shame

Christine Jewell: 00:05:00

and it's a very heavy place to be.

Christine Jewell: 00:05:02

And so now we're in this like swimming pool of these really

Christine Jewell: 00:05:06

heavy, dense emotions, but we can't seem to get out of it, right?

Christine Jewell: 00:05:10

So going back to feeling overwhelmed and also just not, not being able to keep

Christine Jewell: 00:05:17

promises to yourself and looking around.

Christine Jewell: 00:05:19

It's I think you said something earlier about, it's not so much of what.

Christine Jewell: 00:05:23

We want to say no to, I think in a release, it's sometimes we have to focus

Christine Jewell: 00:05:27

on what we're really saying yes to.

Christine Jewell: 00:05:29

And that's also a reframe is to go, you know what, I'm afraid.

Christine Jewell: 00:05:33

So what we focus is on the fear of saying no, or the fear of losing

Christine Jewell: 00:05:39

out, which is now we're got, we're focused on fear and lack.

Christine Jewell: 00:05:42

How's that work for growth?

Christine Jewell: 00:05:43

Like it does that, right?

Christine Jewell: 00:05:44

Instead of going, if I say yes, and I go all in with this

Christine Jewell: 00:05:50

thing, then what can I create?

Christine Jewell: 00:05:53

Now we're putting on a creator's hat.

Christine Jewell: 00:05:55

And now, because we're fully saying yes to one thing, everything

Christine Jewell: 00:06:00

else is not an option anymore.

Christine Jewell: 00:06:02

Yeah.

Christine Jewell: 00:06:02

A lot of us are straddling all the time.

Christine Jewell: 00:06:04

Everything's an option.

Stephen Box: 00:06:06

Yeah.

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that reminds me of, the book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

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there was a line in there that always stuck with me and I used it

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outside of just the idea of money.

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I used it for a lot of different stuff, but it was this idea of the

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poor dad would say, I wish I could.

Christine Jewell: 00:06:23

I

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would say, how can I?

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And I think this, that concept applies here where it's instead of

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saying, Oh, I wish I could let go of all this stuff and not have all

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these expectations and not have to carry around this big, heavy armor.

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The question becomes, how can I let go?

Christine Jewell: 00:06:42

Yeah.

Christine Jewell: 00:06:42

And even, yes.

Christine Jewell: 00:06:44

And let's take that even one further.

Christine Jewell: 00:06:46

which is if I had already done it, what would I have gotten rid of?

Christine Jewell: 00:06:51

So now we're going into future state and now we're not even

Christine Jewell: 00:06:54

thinking like now we're already envisioning, like it's already done.

Christine Jewell: 00:06:57

And so we, you already have the answer.

Christine Jewell: 00:07:00

People already have the answer.

Christine Jewell: 00:07:01

The question is, am I going to be ruled by fear or am I going to be ruled by the

Christine Jewell: 00:07:07

yes to what I'm being called to build?

Christine Jewell: 00:07:09

And this is like the eternal question that man and woman has to face every day.

Christine Jewell: 00:07:13

Will I be a creator of the new?

Christine Jewell: 00:07:17

Or will I be terrified to let go of the old?

Christine Jewell: 00:07:20

It's just look at any great story, whether you're looking at biblical

Christine Jewell: 00:07:23

stories or any one, you have to leave.

Christine Jewell: 00:07:25

The familiar to go into the new space, as we're thinking about how do I

Christine Jewell: 00:07:30

get rid of this overwhelm at work?

Christine Jewell: 00:07:33

I always say overwhelm is just a lack of clarity.

Christine Jewell: 00:07:35

Honestly at the end of the day It's are you super clear on what your heck?

Christine Jewell: 00:07:39

Yes, this is the authorized work and if I can just focus on this everything

Christine Jewell: 00:07:46

else will become easier It's like the concept of the one thing, which is like,

Christine Jewell: 00:07:50

what is the one thing that if I just do this, everything else becomes easier or

Christine Jewell: 00:07:55

unnecessary or essentialism or effortless.

Christine Jewell: 00:07:58

There's so many different concepts and it's, there's so much science behind

Christine Jewell: 00:08:03

this, but we're still so caught up in the program, and it's important to recognize

Christine Jewell: 00:08:06

what program has been running because once you're aware, now you're choosing.

Stephen Box: 00:08:16

You said something yesterday actually that caught my attention and

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it was that when you were saying you're going through your circumstances and

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you had this moment of overwhelm that prior to that you were looking at the

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programming you grew up with where it was like, Oh, you, if you're fit, if you're

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winning the medals and the trophies and you're achieving this and you're doing

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all these things, then you're successful.

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And that was the programming that you were given and as you were a

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few minutes ago talking about how sometimes we get caught up in that

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denseness of those expectations.

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If programming that we've had is that you have to achieve, you have to do

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all these things and you go back to your familiarity, which is something

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else you talked about yesterday.

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your familiarity is work harder, achieve more.

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completely counterintutive right?

Christine Jewell: 00:09:12

more is better, right?

Stephen Box: 00:09:13

Yeah, I'm overwhelmed, let me do more.

Christine Jewell: 00:09:15

Yeah.

Christine Jewell: 00:09:16

You say it like that, it sounds stupid,

Stephen Box: 00:09:17

right?

Christine Jewell: 00:09:18

Yeah.

Christine Jewell: 00:09:20

Yeah, so crazy, so true.

Christine Jewell: 00:09:23

I agree, and again, it's like, So much of the world programming,

Christine Jewell: 00:09:27

and I just want to say this, so much of the world programming, so

Christine Jewell: 00:09:30

much of what we've been taught.

Christine Jewell: 00:09:32

We have to remember, like, where did we grow, learn a lot of this in

Christine Jewell: 00:09:35

a lot of institutionalized areas.

Christine Jewell: 00:09:37

We have to remember that a lot of the ways that we've been taught to learn, to

Christine Jewell: 00:09:41

grow all of these things were based out of an era of industrialism where we're

Christine Jewell: 00:09:45

like, they were creating factory workers.

Christine Jewell: 00:09:47

Rockefeller was going like, I need factory workers, so can

Christine Jewell: 00:09:51

you just go take these guys?

Christine Jewell: 00:09:53

Educate them to just pump, pump, pump, pump, pump to do more.

Christine Jewell: 00:09:57

But they were really creating people who could think for

Christine Jewell: 00:10:00

themselves and operate from freedom.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:02

And so we have to think about is a lot of this programming coming out of this

Christine Jewell: 00:10:06

era where they were just creating factory workers and they were trying to squeeze

Christine Jewell: 00:10:09

as much as they could out of people instead of really creating an opportunity.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:14

where people are actually wanting freedom and peace and balance and

Christine Jewell: 00:10:19

they're like, that wasn't part of the original program, right?

Christine Jewell: 00:10:22

And so this is really it.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:24

and.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:25

Yeah, I think that we have to remember.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:27

And I just want to say this.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:29

One of the things that I decided when I hit that point was like, I start,

Christine Jewell: 00:10:34

I was like, not willing to say yes to anything that did not give me peace.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:39

Cause for me, I was like so tired of being stressed out.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:43

And so again, like being stressed in my work was no longer an option.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:48

You know what I'm saying?

Christine Jewell: 00:10:49

I wasn't like, Oh, I need to get rid of stress.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:50

I need to release stress.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:52

I need to not be stressed.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:53

It wasn't focusing on getting rid of stress.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:55

It was focusing on.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:57

Peace.

Christine Jewell: 00:10:58

I am no longer a factory worker in a system of just pumping things out.

Christine Jewell: 00:11:04

I'm not a machine.

Christine Jewell: 00:11:05

I'm going to choose the path that is going to make me feel like a human being.

Stephen Box: 00:11:11

Yeah, it's, the thing I love about like doing stuff like this

Stephen Box: 00:11:14

is sometimes people say things and it's something you've said yourself, but

Stephen Box: 00:11:17

they say it in a slightly different way that just makes it pop, right?

Stephen Box: 00:11:21

I've said a number of times when it comes to stress management, I tell people all

Stephen Box: 00:11:26

the time, look, sometimes you can't reduce stress, but you can focus on recovery.

Stephen Box: 00:11:31

It's the same concept you just said, but you just the reframe

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of I'm going after peace, right?

Stephen Box: 00:11:37

that's what it is.

Stephen Box: 00:11:38

I love that reframe.

Stephen Box: 00:11:40

And I think what that comes down to is, and correct me if I'm wrong here,

Stephen Box: 00:11:44

but it sounds like what you're saying, really the solution to this problem is

Stephen Box: 00:11:48

getting your priorities in alignment and getting clear on what they are.

Christine Jewell: 00:11:55

For sure.

Christine Jewell: 00:11:56

It is.

Christine Jewell: 00:11:56

it's a couple things.

Christine Jewell: 00:11:58

Number one, it's really making a decision.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:01

What are you consciously creating?

Christine Jewell: 00:12:04

What do you want to build?

Christine Jewell: 00:12:05

what are you saying yes to?

Christine Jewell: 00:12:08

Like that you're drawing a line in the sand.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:11

And so this is why I start with this is because a lot, when I say overwhelm is

Christine Jewell: 00:12:14

always a symptom of a lack of clarity, because we're saying yes to everything.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:19

I had a meeting early this morning with a lady that owns a business.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:22

And she was, I asked her the same question.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:24

I'm like, what is your.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:26

Heck yes, I am building this.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:28

I'm so excited about it.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:29

And she was like, I actually don't really know.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:31

Cause she was so consumed by all the things.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:34

So it's are you clear on that?

Christine Jewell: 00:12:37

And the second piece of that, because are you willing to make a decision?

Christine Jewell: 00:12:42

that it gets to be that and not everything else.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:45

That's the thing.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:46

We can have clarity, but if we don't have decisiveness, okay, yeah, I

Christine Jewell: 00:12:50

know I'm going to build a team.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:51

I know I'm going to do this at work.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:53

I'm going to focus on this project, but then I have a

Christine Jewell: 00:12:55

million other projects to work on.

Christine Jewell: 00:12:57

It's we need to make a decision, right?

Christine Jewell: 00:12:59

cause the word decide you.

Christine Jewell: 00:13:02

It means to kill off, actually.

Christine Jewell: 00:13:04

You make an incision and you kill off all other options.

Christine Jewell: 00:13:07

So when you make a decision, now this doesn't mean necessarily that you may

Christine Jewell: 00:13:10

not also work on other projects, but it means like you set aside a deep work block

Christine Jewell: 00:13:15

where you are just focusing on that key project and this is the season for that.

Christine Jewell: 00:13:20

So being in decision and the third thing I want to say around this is really.

Christine Jewell: 00:13:25

Recognizing that God is the only one that is supposed to be all knowing, all

Christine Jewell: 00:13:30

powerful, omnipresent, multitasking, okay?

Christine Jewell: 00:13:33

Humans were not designed to be in all places, at all times, doing all things.

Christine Jewell: 00:13:37

What we are designed to do is do one thing, the right thing, at the right time.

Christine Jewell: 00:13:42

Even Jesus, when he went into a town to heal people, he didn't

Christine Jewell: 00:13:45

heal every single person, right?

Christine Jewell: 00:13:48

He healed the person that the Father told him to heal.

Christine Jewell: 00:13:51

And he moved on.

Christine Jewell: 00:13:52

think about the Samaritan woman.

Christine Jewell: 00:13:53

He spoke to her and then he let her go and do the work of

Christine Jewell: 00:13:57

telling all the other people.

Christine Jewell: 00:13:59

He didn't run her down and chase her and just say, okay, I just want to make

Christine Jewell: 00:14:01

sure now that you get the message But we, I always love to use Jesus as an

Christine Jewell: 00:14:06

example because I'm like, if we really watched the way that he worked, he

Christine Jewell: 00:14:12

wasn't doing everything all the time.

Stephen Box: 00:14:14

Yeah, if Jesus were to come back today, there would be

Stephen Box: 00:14:20

people telling him that he needs to have reels of all of his miracles.

Christine Jewell: 00:14:25

Yeah.

Stephen Box: 00:14:26

that he needs to get video testimonials from all of his healings.

Christine Jewell: 00:14:30

Exactly.

Stephen Box: 00:14:32

That, he needs to be on like all the social media channels

Stephen Box: 00:14:35

and he needs to go live, it would have all these things for him to do.

Stephen Box: 00:14:39

And it's

Christine Jewell: 00:14:39

And that was really, I want to say freeing for me when I

Christine Jewell: 00:14:43

said, I'm choosing the path of peace.

Christine Jewell: 00:14:46

I'm choosing the path of freedom.

Christine Jewell: 00:14:47

That means God doesn't really call me to do everything.

Christine Jewell: 00:14:50

So this gave me an incredible peace to go, okay, God, what is

Christine Jewell: 00:14:53

the authorized work, the mission that you have for me right now?

Christine Jewell: 00:14:58

In this season of my life, what is the work?

Christine Jewell: 00:15:00

Sometimes it's been like your work right now is to build people, build a team.

Christine Jewell: 00:15:04

Sometimes it's write the book, now it's do this, get the message out and I can focus.

Christine Jewell: 00:15:09

Now I can focus without guilt because I know what that is.

Christine Jewell: 00:15:13

I'm willing to say yes to it and I made the decision that

Christine Jewell: 00:15:17

everything else can wait,

Christine Jewell: 00:15:20

right?

Stephen Box: 00:15:21

Yes, absolutely.

Stephen Box: 00:15:23

All right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have you give your takeaway that you want to

Stephen Box: 00:15:26

make sure everybody leaves with today.

Stephen Box: 00:15:27

But before we do, I want you to give people a little bit of a sneak

Stephen Box: 00:15:30

peek because tomorrow we're going to be talking about relationships.

Stephen Box: 00:15:34

What is the big mistake that people are making when it comes to relationships that

Stephen Box: 00:15:40

we're going to be talking about tomorrow?

Christine Jewell: 00:15:43

I think that one of the biggest things I see is in

Christine Jewell: 00:15:46

relationships is putting everybody else first, having no boundaries, and say,

Christine Jewell: 00:15:55

being a people pleaser basically, right?

Christine Jewell: 00:15:57

So we're just like, I want to be, yes, I want to make everybody happy.

Christine Jewell: 00:16:01

I want to do all the right things.

Christine Jewell: 00:16:02

I don't want to rock the boat at home.

Christine Jewell: 00:16:04

And so we feel like leftovers because we treat ourselves like leftovers.

Stephen Box: 00:16:10

That sounds like it's going to be a very, conversation that's

Stephen Box: 00:16:14

going to probably rub some people the wrong way, but in a good way.

Christine Jewell: 00:16:17

Yeah.

Stephen Box: 00:16:17

but before we wrap up, could you give us, what is

Stephen Box: 00:16:20

today's takeaway that you want to make sure everybody leaves with?

Christine Jewell: 00:16:24

Today, I want to challenge you guys

Christine Jewell: 00:16:26

listening and invite you.

Christine Jewell: 00:16:27

if, and by the way, I'm going to preface this is only for those

Christine Jewell: 00:16:31

of you who really want change.

Christine Jewell: 00:16:33

Cause some of us think we want change, but all we really want is

Christine Jewell: 00:16:37

somebody to listen to our excuses.

Christine Jewell: 00:16:39

So if you really want change, I want to challenge you and

Christine Jewell: 00:16:43

invite you to make a list.

Christine Jewell: 00:16:44

of all the things that you've been saying yes to that you really

Christine Jewell: 00:16:48

need to be, that, that, you want to be saying no to secretly.

Christine Jewell: 00:16:52

what are all the things that you have said yes to that you

Christine Jewell: 00:16:55

really want to be saying no to?

Christine Jewell: 00:16:56

And what are all the things you keep saying no to that are the yeses?

Christine Jewell: 00:17:00

And I want you to circle.

Christine Jewell: 00:17:02

The one yes that you think is the most, if you could, if you would

Christine Jewell: 00:17:06

commit to doing that one thing would make everything else easier.

Stephen Box: 00:17:13

I think that's a really great exercise.

Stephen Box: 00:17:15

I just, if I can just add one thing to it, if you're not sure,

Stephen Box: 00:17:18

nothing pops out to you, pray on it.

Christine Jewell: 00:17:21

Exactly.

Christine Jewell: 00:17:22

Ask the Holy Spirit to shine a big ol light and just like a

Christine Jewell: 00:17:25

flashlight, all that list will be made very clear to you very fast.

Stephen Box: 00:17:30

Absolutely.

Stephen Box: 00:17:31

All right.

Stephen Box: 00:17:31

appreciate you, sharing your insights today about how we can start to find

Stephen Box: 00:17:36

some of this balance and drop that armor when it comes to our career.

Stephen Box: 00:17:39

And tomorrow we're going to be talking about those relationships and how and why.

Stephen Box: 00:17:45

You should maybe not be putting everybody else first.

Stephen Box: 00:17:48

tune in tomorrow and you'll hear that message.

Stephen Box: 00:17:51

And with that, I will just remind everyone that while none of us are born

Stephen Box: 00:17:55

unshakable, we can all become unshakable because being unshakable is a choice.

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