Beyond “How Was School?”: The School Year Feelings Game Show

Special Ed Rising: No Parent Left Behind

“How was school today?”

“Fine.”

Sound familiar?

In this episode, Mark Ingrassia turns the Back-to-School Feelings Game Show into a year-round tool for helping kids talk about what’s really happening at school.

Using fun rounds like the Weather Report, Feelings Meter, Worry Button, Pause Button, Backpack Question, Superpower Round, and Surprise Round, parents can help their children identify feelings, recognize challenges, ask for help, and think about solutions.

Mark also explains how to adapt the game for nonspeaking children and children who communicate using AAC, pictures, signs, gestures, pointing, objects, or other communication methods.

The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety. It’s to help children understand that feelings are information and that communication is always welcome.

The game is the vehicle. Communication is the goal.

For parent coaching, workshops, and resources, visit specialedrising.com.

Special Ed Rising: No Parent Left Behind.

Ray's Respite Care: https://www.gofundme.com/f/join-rays-respite-care-mission

Welcome to Special Ed Rising: No Parent Left Behind.

I’m Mark Ingrassia. For nearly 40 years, I’ve worked with kids and families in the disability community—as a teacher, adjunct professor, parent trainer, advocate, and parent coach.

And I’m here to help you feel a little less overwhelmed and a lot more prepared.

Every week, we bring you real conversations, expert advice, and practical strategies for navigating parenting, school, behavior, advocacy, and everyday life; people who care deeply and want to make things better, together.

If you’re raising, teaching, or supporting someone with disabilities, you’re warmly welcome here.

And if this episode hits home for you, do me a favor. Go drop a 5-star review. That’s how we get this message to more families who need it.

And if you want more than a podcast—if you want personalized support for your family—visit specialedrising.com to learn about my parent coaching and practical resources. Because you don't have to figure this out alone.

Take a breath—you’re in the right place. Let’s get to work.

Depending on where you live, this episode might seem like it’s coming a little late because I'm talking about going back to school. And if you’re listening during the first couple of weeks of the school year, you might be thinking, “Wait a minute…aren’t we already back?” The backpacks are packed, the kids have met their teachers, they’ve found their classrooms, and everybody’s settling into the new routine. Maybe things are going great. And maybe they’re not going quite as smoothly as you hoped. And honestly, that’s exactly why I think this is a great time to talk about it.

Because back-to-school anxiety doesn’t necessarily disappear once school starts. Sometimes it doesn’t even show up right away. Your child might seem totally fine on day one and then, a week or two later, start complaining about stomachaches, getting more irritable, refusing to get on the bus, coming home completely exhausted, or worrying about a particular class, teacher, lunch, recess, friends, a test, or something that happened during the day that they just don’t know how to explain. So I want to take an idea I had for a family recently called, the Back-to-School Feelings Game Show and expand it a little. I don’t want this to be something you do once in September and then forget about. Think of it as the School Year Feelings Game Show, something you can use throughout the year whenever you want to check in with your child about what’s going on at school.

So let’s imagine your child is the contestant and you’re the host. And you can actually have a little fun with this. You don’t need anything fancy. Pick a little corner of the room and turn it into your Feelings Game Show Studio. A small table can be your host desk, a couple of chairs can be the contestant area, and you can make a simple sign with the name of your game show. Add a desk lamp, a bell or buzzer, maybe a dry-erase board. You could even make a microphone out of a cardboard tube or use a toy microphone if you have one. If your child likes visuals, put together a simple feelings board with faces showing happy, worried, frustrated, excited, calm, angry, confused, and so on. You can use index cards for your questions and have a little jar or container for Feeling Points. And those points don’t have to cost you anything. Use poker chips, buttons, stickers, scraps of paper, or just keep score on the whiteboard.

Then have some fun with it. “Welcome to the Feelings Game Show! And today’s contestant is…” Announce your child’s name. Play a little music. Ring the bell. Let them push a button when they’re ready for the next question. Whatever makes it feel fun. But here’s the important part: this is not a test. There are no right answers. There are no wrong answers. And there definitely isn’t a prize for saying, “Everything is great.” The prize is communication. Your child earns points for identifying a feeling, talking about a worry, recognizing what makes something difficult, or coming up with an idea that might help. And that’s really important because we’re not trying to teach kids that anxiety is bad. We’re teaching them that feelings are information. The game just gives those feelings a place to be heard.

One way to start is with a simple weather report. Ask your child, “If your feelings about school were a weather report today, what would they be?” Maybe it’s sunny. Maybe it’s cloudy. Maybe it’s raining. Maybe there’s a full-on thunderstorm going on. Maybe there’s even a rainbow. Then ask, “What would make the weather a little sunnier?” And you can use this any time—not just at the beginning of the school year. Monday morning, after school, Sunday night, whenever. And the answer might change. That’s actually a good thing. You’re giving your child a simple way to say, “This is where I am today.” And if yesterday was sunny and today is a thunderstorm, instead of immediately asking, “What’s wrong?” or “Why are you acting like this?” try something much simpler: “What changed?” That one question can open up a whole conversation.

Another round could be the Feelings Meter. Ask your child to rate something from one to ten. But instead of asking, “How nervous are you about school?” get more specific. “How nervous are you about math today?” “How nervous are you about lunch?” “How nervous are you about the bus?” “How nervous are you about talking to your teacher?” “How nervous are you about tomorrow’s test?” Because sometimes a child isn’t anxious about school at all. They’re anxious about one particular part of school. And if we can figure out what that part is, we have a much better chance of helping.

Then there’s the Worry Button. Imagine your child has this giant red button that says, “WORRY BE GONE!” Ask them, “If you could make one school worry disappear today, what would it be?” And the answer is probably going to change throughout the year. In September, it might be a new teacher. In October, maybe it’s a fire drill. Later, it could be a test, a field trip, a school play, an IEP meeting, or even just thinking about moving on to the next grade. That’s the thing about school. It keeps changing. And so do our kids. And so do their worries. That’s why we need to keep the conversation going.

You can also have a What If Challenge. Ask, “If you could change one thing about school today, what would you change?” Maybe your child says, “I’d have more time between classes.” Maybe they’d want to sit somewhere quieter at lunch. Maybe they want someone to sit with. Maybe they’d like a warning before a fire drill. Maybe they need more time on tests. Maybe they just want to know ahead of time when there’s going to be a substitute teacher. And listen carefully here, because sometimes what sounds like a complaint is actually telling you about a support your child needs. “I hate the cafeteria” might really mean, “The cafeteria is way too loud.” “I hate math” might really mean, “I don’t understand what we’re doing and I don’t know how to ask for help.”

That brings us to another important round: the Pause Button. Ask your child, “If you had a Pause Button at school that you could press whenever things felt like too much, when would you use it?” Maybe it’s when the classroom gets noisy. Maybe during transitions. Maybe before lunch. Maybe when they’re called on unexpectedly. Maybe when they don’t understand an assignment. Maybe when another student is bothering them. Then ask, “What would you need during your pause?” Maybe they need quiet. Maybe they need some space. Maybe they need people to stop talking. Maybe they just need a few minutes before trying again. And now you’re learning something really important. Instead of only asking, “Why did my child have a meltdown?” you’re starting to ask, “Where is the pressure building?” That’s a much more proactive way to look at things.

And here’s one I still really like—the backpack question. Ask, “If your backpack could talk, what would it say about school today?” Maybe it says, “Let’s go!” Maybe it says, “Do we really have to do this?” Maybe it says, “I’m already tired.” Or maybe it says, “Math was terrible.” Sometimes humor gives kids an opening to say something they wouldn’t necessarily say directly to Mom or Dad. And that’s okay. We’re just trying to create an opening.

Then we have the Superpower Round. Ask, “If you could have one superpower to help you at school, what would it be?” Maybe it’s Super Confidence. Super Calm. Super Focus. Super Friendship. Super Communication. Then ask, “When would you use your superpower?” That second question is really important because now we’re getting more specific. Maybe your child wants Super Confidence because they’re afraid to raise their hand. Maybe they want Super Calm because the cafeteria is overwhelming. Maybe they want Super Friendship because they don’t know how to join a group. Now we’ve gone from a vague feeling to an actual challenge.

And this is where I think the idea becomes much bigger than a back-to-school activity. It becomes the School Year Feelings Game Show. You can use it all year long. Early in the year, you might be talking about teachers, classrooms, routines, and making friends. A few weeks later, maybe it’s, “Am I keeping up?” or “Why is this class so hard?” Then testing season comes around and suddenly it’s, “What if I fail?” or “What if I don’t finish?” Social situations bring their own challenges. “What do I say?” “How do I join a group?” “What do I do if someone leaves me out?” And then there are all those unexpected things that happen during a school year—field trips, assemblies, substitute teachers, fire drills, performances, class parties, changes in routines, and changes in staff.

Sometimes the biggest anxiety is something you never saw coming. Your child comes home one afternoon and says, “I don’t want to go to school tomorrow.” Okay. That’s your Surprise Round. Instead of immediately jumping into, “Why?” or trying to solve the problem, you might say, “Sounds like we have a Surprise Round. What’s today’s school feeling? What’s the biggest worry? What happened? What would make tomorrow a little easier?” Now you’ve created a familiar way to talk about something that feels unfamiliar. And that can be especially helpful for kids who have a hard time explaining what they’re feeling.

Of course, every game show needs prizes. But the prizes don’t have to be things you buy. Maybe your child gets to choose the family movie that night. Maybe they pick dinner. Maybe they choose the music in the car. Maybe they get some special one-on-one time with Mom or Dad. Maybe they choose the family game. Or maybe the prize is simply recognition. “You earned the Courage Award.” “You earned 100 Feeling Points.” “You were brave enough to tell me what was bothering you.” But there’s one rule I’d really encourage parents to follow: don’t make the prize dependent on your child getting rid of the anxiety. We don’t want the message to be, “You get the prize if you don’t get nervous.” Instead, the message is, “You earn points for talking about the feeling and figuring out what might help.” We’re not rewarding the absence of anxiety. We’re reinforcing self-awareness, communication, problem-solving, and coping.

And honestly, maybe the biggest prize isn’t the one your child gets. Maybe it’s what you learn. Every answer gives you information. Your child is telling you, “This is what school feels like to me.” And when we listen without immediately correcting, minimizing, or trying to talk them out of the feeling, we’re sending a really powerful message: “Your feelings are safe with me.” That doesn’t mean we’re going to agree with everything our child thinks. It doesn’t mean we can fix every problem. And it certainly doesn’t mean we can remove every uncomfortable experience. It means, “You don’t have to figure this out alone.”

And that’s really why I like the game-show idea. We’re taking something that can feel intimidating and making it playful. But underneath the game, we’re teaching some pretty important skills. We’re teaching kids to identify feelings, name worries, recognize triggers, ask for help, think about solutions, and practice coping strategies. And maybe most importantly, we’re giving them opportunities to communicate before a small problem becomes a big problem. Those are skills they can take with them way beyond the school year.

Now, what if your child is nonspeaking or doesn’t primarily communicate through spoken language? The Feelings Game Show can still work. Actually, the visual nature of the game might make it even more accessible for some kids. The big thing to remember is this: communication doesn’t have to mean talking. Instead of building the game around verbal questions and verbal answers, create a visual Feelings Game Show Studio. You can use a small table, a dry-erase board, pictures, photographs, emotion cards, symbols, objects—whatever your child already uses to communicate. If your child uses an AAC device, communication board, PECS, sign language, gestures, eye gaze, pointing, or another established communication system, use that as the primary way they participate. And you don’t need to invent a whole new communication system just for this game. In fact, the more familiar the system is, the better.

You might have visual choices for feelings like happy, excited, worried, angry, frustrated, tired, calm, confused, and sad. Your child can point to one, select it on their device, look toward a picture, hand you a card, use a sign, or communicate in whatever way works for them. You can also have pictures for specific school situations, like the bus, classroom, lunchroom, recess, homework, tests, friends, teachers, transitions, or changes in routine. And if your child communicates through objects, you can even use actual objects or small representations connected to those activities. The important thing is that your child gets to choose how they communicate.

And here’s something I think is really important when we’re doing this with a nonspeaking child: don’t turn the game into a test. We’re not trying to figure out whether your child picked the “correct” emotion. We’re giving them opportunities to tell us what they’re experiencing. If you put three emotion cards in front of your child and they pick “worried,” great. Accept that communication and follow their lead. If tomorrow they pick “happy,” that’s valuable information too. And if they don’t want to answer a particular question? That’s information too. Try a different question. Offer a different visual. Give them some time.

One of the best ways to make this successful is to start with things you already know your child can communicate successfully. Don’t start with something complicated like, “What’s making you anxious about school?” Start simple. “Show me how school feels today.” Then give them two or three choices. Once they understand the routine and experience some success, you can gradually expand the choices. Maybe you move from “happy or worried?” to a bigger feelings board. Eventually, you can work toward questions like, “What happened?” “Where did it happen?” or “What would help?” The goal isn’t to see how many questions you can get through. The goal is to create communication success.

And you can still keep all the fun game-show stuff. Your child can still be the contestant. They can press the button, ring the bell, select a picture, use their AAC device, hand you a card, or use a gesture. And they can still earn Feeling Points. The difference is that the points recognize communication, effort, self-advocacy, and problem-solving—not whether they gave you a verbal answer. So the format changes. The purpose doesn’t.

And parents should also remember that communication can happen through behavior. If your child suddenly refuses to participate, pushes a picture away, becomes upset when you show a particular school card, or keeps selecting the same situation over and over, don’t automatically dismiss that because it isn’t a spoken answer. It may be telling you that you’ve hit on something important. That doesn’t mean we automatically know exactly what the behavior means. It means we should get curious. Slow down. Offer choices. Look for patterns. And give your child another way to communicate what they need.

Thanks for listening to Special Ed Rising: No Parent Left Behind.

If something you heard today made you think, “I wish I had some help with this,” that's exactly what my parent coaching is here for.

I work one-on-one with parents to turn the challenges they're facing into practical, manageable strategies that work for their child, their family, and their everyday life.

You don't have to figure it all out on your own.

All Music on the show is by Jason Shaw at Audionautix.com.

If you enjoy the show, please subscribe, rate, and review—it helps more families find us. Follow @specialedrising on social media, visit specialedrising.com, or reach out at [email protected] for questions, parent training, or support.

I’ve started a GoFundMe for Ray’s Respite Care—a place that can bring real relief and joy to families. Every little bit helps. You’ll find the link in the show notes.

Visit specialedrising.com to learn more about parent coaching, workshops, and resources designed to give you the support and confidence you need.

Until next time, I'm Mark Ingrassia—and remember: you know your child. You don't have to know everything else. That's where I can help.

Peace and Keep Rising!