Welcome to another insightful episode of "Mindful You," where host Alan Carroll engages in a compelling conversation with guest David Albin. Together, they explore the transformative power of interacting with people committed to service and delve into the fascinating evolution of consciousness. David shares his personal journey, discussing life after being kicked out of high school and the profound transformation involved in overcoming alcoholism. The conversation delves into the nuanced difference between inspiration and desperation as driving forces for change. Listeners gain a unique perspective as David recounts his experiences with fire-walking and the valuable lessons learned through this intense practice. Join Alan Carroll and David Albin for a thought-provoking discussion that spans personal growth, resilience, and the profound insights gained through life's challenges.

About The Guest:

Dave Albin was born in 1954 at Queen of Angels Hospital in Hollywood, California to a single mother. He was adopted by his Aunt & Uncle on his mother’s side at the age of 5. His adoptive parents told Dave they were not his parents at the age of 11. Later that year both his adoptive parents started drinking. This is where Dave’s life took a hard turn. Dave tried alcohol at the age of 11. By the time he was 14 he was experimenting with hard drugs. Grossly addicted to drugs and alcohol he joined AA some 20 years later in June 1988. This is when Dave was introduced to the personal development industry. He attended a seminar with Tony Robbins in 1995 where he did his first firewalk. Dave went on to work for Tony Robbins for just shy of 20 years as Tony’s Firewalk Captain. Dave retired from the Anthony Robbins Companies in 2014 shortly after GOOGLE hired him to put on an event for them. Firewalk Productions, LLC was born in 2014. Dave has done gigs for NASA, Heineken, The Entrepreneurs Organization (EO), RE Max, Chick-fil-A, Pruvit, Google, NI, NC Chiropractic Association, Isagenix, Heineken, Boone, Blowing Rock, Ashe and the Caldwell County Chamber of Commerce, Wayne Dyer, T Harv Eker, CRISP Video, Y.M.C.A., NATE BAILEY, Tony Robbins and many others. Dave currently lives in the Appalachian Mountains in Ashe County North Carolina.

About Alan:

Alan Carroll is an Educational Psychologist who specializes in Transpersonal Psychology. He founded Alan Carroll & Associates 30 years ago and before that, he was a Senior Sales Training Consultant for 10 years at Digital Equipment Corporation. He has dedicated his life in search of mindfulness tools that can be used by everyone (young and old) to transform their ability to speak at a professional level, as well as, to reduce the psychological suffering caused by the misidentification with our ego and reconnect to the vast transcendent dimension of consciousness that lies just on the other side of the thoughts we think and in between the words we speak.

Personal: https://www.facebook.com/alan.carroll.7359

Business: https://www.facebook.com/AlanCarrolltrains

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/aca-mindful-you/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulnesseminar/

Web Site: https://acamindfulyou.com/

Alan Carroll: 00:00:04

Hello, everybody. And welcome back to another

Alan Carroll: 00:00:09

episode. Another story. Another story of mindfulness, and how

Alan Carroll: 00:00:15

mindfulness comes in many, many different forms. And today's

Alan Carroll: 00:00:21

guest David Albin. David Albin spent close to 20 years on the

Alan Carroll: 00:00:31

road with a fella you may have heard about named Tony Robbins

Alan Carroll: 00:00:36

and the firewalk experience. And he traveled the world. And he

Alan Carroll: 00:00:43

became the captain of the fire team for Tony Robbins. And those

Alan Carroll: 00:00:52

he said they had, they did him all over the world. And the

Alan Carroll: 00:00:56

largest firewalking that's been recorded, was done in London.

Alan Carroll: 00:01:03

Over 12,000, people went through the firewalk experience, and

Alan Carroll: 00:01:09

eastern part of London, and Dave, Alvin was the chief of the

Alan Carroll: 00:01:15

captains of the fire teams, and shares his own personal story,

Alan Carroll: 00:01:21

the personal story of alcoholism, the purpose story of

Alan Carroll: 00:01:27

drugs, the story of the moment that he had the gun to his head,

Alan Carroll: 00:01:33

and was about to pull the trigger those kinds of moments,

Alan Carroll: 00:01:37

which create a powerful transformation in his life. And

Alan Carroll: 00:01:45

then he discovered mindfulness, he discovered meditation, he

Alan Carroll: 00:01:51

discovered Alcoholics Anonymous. And he used the philosophy of

Alan Carroll: 00:01:58

Alcoholics Anonymous, anonymous, and transformed his life and,

Alan Carroll: 00:02:03

and then got connected with Tony Robbins, and then spent those 20

Alan Carroll: 00:02:07

years on the road with Tony Robbins. And the firewalk

Alan Carroll: 00:02:14

experience that he talks about, is transformational. I've done

Alan Carroll: 00:02:21

the Tony Robbins firewalk books. And he, what he's teased, he has

Alan Carroll: 00:02:26

a much more vivid experience, having seen it 1000s of times.

Alan Carroll: 00:02:33

But I came out of the experience of the firewalk with the

Alan Carroll: 00:02:36

thought, where else in my life do I say I can't do something

Alan Carroll: 00:02:46

which limits me. And when you walk on the fire, you realize

Alan Carroll: 00:02:52

that you always thought that you could never do something like

Alan Carroll: 00:02:54

that. And you do it. And it's a it's a liberation, of

Alan Carroll: 00:03:01

consciousness, it's a freedom of space and power. And to have the

Alan Carroll: 00:03:06

captain of the fire teams with us today, talking about the

Alan Carroll: 00:03:10

transformations that occur in people's lives through the

Alan Carroll: 00:03:13

firewalking and his new project of taking the firewalking

Alan Carroll: 00:03:19

transformational experience, and, and provide it to other

Alan Carroll: 00:03:23

people who need it, who have tremendous agitation, and things

Alan Carroll: 00:03:30

going on in their life, which create instability. He's

Alan Carroll: 00:03:34

creating the first firewalking experience, he's calling it, do

Alan Carroll: 00:03:37

no harm. And it's going to be held in Modesto in April of

Alan Carroll: 00:03:43

2020. For the audience that he would like to have there. He

Alan Carroll: 00:03:49

wants to have the firewalk experience available to single

Alan Carroll: 00:03:53

mothers, because they do a lot of stuff. And boy, if we could

Alan Carroll: 00:03:57

give them a boost, it'd be great. And why because he was

Alan Carroll: 00:04:00

raised by a single mother. Veterans, he's a veteran, he's

Alan Carroll: 00:04:06

talking about the suicide rates of veterans are high, we can

Alan Carroll: 00:04:10

reduce that down with a breakthrough of consciousness,

Alan Carroll: 00:04:13

which you can get during a firewalk experience. Talked

Alan Carroll: 00:04:18

about first responders, those people who deal with that

Alan Carroll: 00:04:21

traumatic accidents on the road kind of stuff, which is very

Alan Carroll: 00:04:25

vivid. They need support and calming their agitation that

Alan Carroll: 00:04:30

they constantly experience. And then we have people who have

Alan Carroll: 00:04:36

experienced bullying and they get to go to the fire walking

Alan Carroll: 00:04:40

experience. So that's just another project that he talks

Alan Carroll: 00:04:42

about towards the end of the firewalk experience to talk

Alan Carroll: 00:04:47

towards the end of our podcast today. Wow, in energy

Alan Carroll: 00:04:52

enthusiasm, Dave is certainly a wonderful guest and I know that

Alan Carroll: 00:04:58

you'll be carried away by His power and His enthusiasm and his

Alan Carroll: 00:05:02

desire to give back to the to the community, and support the

Alan Carroll: 00:05:07

well being of all of all people. So thank you very much. And

Alan Carroll: 00:05:12

thank you very much, Dave for being here today. And please

Alan Carroll: 00:05:16

welcome to the mindful you, audience. Dave Albin.

Alan Carroll: 00:05:29

Welcome David Alvin to the mindful you podcast Boy, oh,

Alan Carroll: 00:05:35

boy, you are a a season warrior on the transformation journey.

Alan Carroll: 00:05:42

You were describing to me earlier, your opportunities to

Alan Carroll: 00:05:48

interact with champions of mindfulness champions of people

Alan Carroll: 00:05:53

who are committed to service, and anybody that has spent as

Alan Carroll: 00:05:57

long as you have in the area of service to others. deserves a

Alan Carroll: 00:06:03

deserves a tear, and an acknowledgement for the work

Alan Carroll: 00:06:07

that that you have done. So what I like to do is, have you takes

Alan Carroll: 00:06:13

take our audience on a journey of David into in the beginning,

Alan Carroll: 00:06:18

and the rev level and evolution of consciousness, because we're

Alan Carroll: 00:06:22

talking about an evolution of consciousness, which then

Alan Carroll: 00:06:24

materializes in the physical plane as different events, but

Alan Carroll: 00:06:28

it's a level of consciousness and ideas that create the events

Alan Carroll: 00:06:32

that have gotten you to a place in which you are committed to

Alan Carroll: 00:06:37

service of others. So take the microphone, Dave, and, and have

Alan Carroll: 00:06:41

some fun with it.

David Albin: 00:06:43

Well, first of all, I want to thank you for having

David Albin: 00:06:44

me. And it's a it's an honor. And, you know, that was a pretty

David Albin: 00:06:47

heavy conversation that we had prior to coming into this. So

David Albin: 00:06:50

I'm pretty emotional myself. And you know, it really, it all

David Albin: 00:06:55

started for me now, in a couple of months. Before I was born, my

David Albin: 00:06:59

biological father had, we don't know what happened, he hurt

David Albin: 00:07:03

himself, he hit his head. And to save his life, they put a plate

David Albin: 00:07:06

in his head, and he complained to my mom all the time of how

David Albin: 00:07:09

painful it was. And sure enough, one day he said, I'm going to

David Albin: 00:07:14

the grocery store, and we never saw it heard from him again. So

David Albin: 00:07:18

when I was born, two months later, I was born to a single

David Albin: 00:07:20

mom. So she already had two boys, she had me that's three

David Albin: 00:07:24

she had a cousin that was living with us as well. And her mother,

David Albin: 00:07:26

my grandmother, and we were all living in a one bedroom

David Albin: 00:07:29

apartment in Hollywood, California. While I was working

David Albin: 00:07:32

up the street at the Roosevelt Hotel, very famous hotel in

David Albin: 00:07:35

Hollywood. And mom came out of the, what I would call the one

David Albin: 00:07:38

of the most kick butt generations that's ever walked

David Albin: 00:07:41

this planet, mom and her and her siblings, you know, were born

David Albin: 00:07:46

during the Great Depression. They they thrived and survived.

David Albin: 00:07:52

World War Two, right? Because what a lot of people don't

David Albin: 00:07:55

realize is that when the men were in Europe fighting the

David Albin: 00:07:59

Nazis, the rest of them were in the Pacific fighting the

David Albin: 00:08:03

Japanese. Well guess who was home taking care of everything,

David Albin: 00:08:07

the women. And so this idea that women need to be qualified to do

David Albin: 00:08:11

this or qualified to do that as a crock. Because without, right,

David Albin: 00:08:15

because without the women back in those days, this world would

David Albin: 00:08:19

be different. Hitler might have Hitler might have won, because

David Albin: 00:08:22

women were doing everything. They built tanks, they built

David Albin: 00:08:25

jeeps, my mother, my biological mother was known as Rosie the

David Albin: 00:08:29

Riveter. And what that was an affectionate name for a woman

David Albin: 00:08:32

who was out on a B 29. Airplane, you know, driving rivets into

David Albin: 00:08:37

the into the wing building them. So mom knew hard work, they knew

David Albin: 00:08:41

depravity, they knew that when something broke, you fixed it.

David Albin: 00:08:45

And so they knew how to do everything. And so she, you

David Albin: 00:08:50

know, she tried really hard out and she worked her butt off, but

David Albin: 00:08:53

it wasn't enough. She was a server. And so, when I was five,

David Albin: 00:08:59

she went to her older sister, Pat and said, Pat, will you and

David Albin: 00:09:03

your husband Bob, adopt David, I can't feed him anymore. And so

David Albin: 00:09:08

they did. And so now my aunt and uncle who I affectionately have

David Albin: 00:09:13

always referred to him as my mom and dad adopted me and they

David Albin: 00:09:16

moved me from Hollywood to Long Beach, California. Bob was a

David Albin: 00:09:19

highly decorated military officer, he was career military.

David Albin: 00:09:23

And so we had a nice lifestyle. We lived in a nice house, we

David Albin: 00:09:26

always had food, we were able to travel we went camping all the

David Albin: 00:09:30

time. And they treated me just like their own. No question that

David Albin: 00:09:35

in fact, they might have treated me even a little better. And

David Albin: 00:09:38

then on on the first day of summer 1960 For the very first

David Albin: 00:09:45

day. Ma I'm in the TV room up earliest the first day of

David Albin: 00:09:49

summer, like all kids, you're excited, you're out of your

David Albin: 00:09:51

mind. You don't want to sleep and you want to get outside with

David Albin: 00:09:54

all your buddies right. She said David come in the kitchen, we

David Albin: 00:09:59

need to speak with you So I don't think it's going to happen

David Albin: 00:10:01

if they're going to tell me where we're gonna go camping,

David Albin: 00:10:04

because that's what we did a lot. We're in Southern

David Albin: 00:10:06

California, right? We went to Yosemite and Big Bear in Lake

David Albin: 00:10:10

Arrowhead and Lake Havasu. And like, I mean, all up and down

David Albin: 00:10:14

the Southern California and Northern California coast. So I

David Albin: 00:10:18

sit down and my mom looks at me and she kind of puts her hand on

David Albin: 00:10:21

my hand, and she's got tears in her eyes. And she says, David,

David Albin: 00:10:23

we need to tell you something. And she went on to tell me that.

David Albin: 00:10:27

She said, we're not your parents. What? Of course, you're

David Albin: 00:10:33

my parents. What that's like taking somebody outside. And

David Albin: 00:10:36

there's the blue sky to go, well, the sky is not blue. Well,

David Albin: 00:10:38

looks pretty blue to me. Right? And they look like my parents to

David Albin: 00:10:42

me. Yep. And so that was a life changing moment for me. In fact,

David Albin: 00:10:48

she went on and she said, By the way, you're at Dean. Yeah, well,

David Albin: 00:10:52

she's actually your biological mother. And I remember thinking,

David Albin: 00:10:55

I don't even like her. What I meant by that was, every time

David Albin: 00:11:02

she was around me, she wanted to be around me. Right? She wanted

David Albin: 00:11:06

to touch me and hold me and kiss me and sit next to me. Well die.

David Albin: 00:11:11

I'm her son. But you know what? I didn't know that. Right. I

David Albin: 00:11:15

just thought she was my weird aunt that was, you know, very

David Albin: 00:11:19

affectionate. Now she, by the way, I want to be really clear

David Albin: 00:11:21

about so she never ever touched me inappropriately. It was

David Albin: 00:11:24

always you know, with love and kindness and, and that kind of

David Albin: 00:11:27

thing. Good. And so shortly after they told me, they both

David Albin: 00:11:33

started drinking. And they swore off alcohol at five years old

David Albin: 00:11:38

when they adopted me. So for six years, they didn't drink at all.

David Albin: 00:11:42

And then all of a sudden, boom, they both started. Now, there

David Albin: 00:11:44

was a lot going on in the world. Back then. Kennedy had just been

David Albin: 00:11:47

assassinated in November of 63. This is a summer of 664. My

David Albin: 00:11:53

dad's military, he's an officer. He's working in the Pentagon

David Albin: 00:11:57

going back and forth from Southern Cal to DC. The Bay of

David Albin: 00:12:01

Pigs was going on the missiles were in Cuba, we were on the

David Albin: 00:12:04

brink of nuclear war. And my dad, you know, again, I don't

David Albin: 00:12:08

know if it was that it was a combination of Kennedy being

David Albin: 00:12:11

assassinated. If it was him telling me that they weren't my

David Albin: 00:12:14

parents. I don't know. All I know is they both started

David Albin: 00:12:17

drinking. And elminate got real, ugly, real fast. Pat, my mom,

David Albin: 00:12:22

right. She was a happy drunk, if you will. She never got violent,

David Albin: 00:12:26

but Bob did. Bob turned into a not a nice guy when he was

David Albin: 00:12:29

drinking. He was a wonderful human when he was sober. But man

David Albin: 00:12:32

when he was drinking, get back away from this guy. And that

David Albin: 00:12:35

might have been because of you know, the PTSD and stuff during

David Albin: 00:12:38

the war. World War Two. I don't know. You didn't we didn't know

David Albin: 00:12:41

what PTSD was back then. They didn't even treat them back

David Albin: 00:12:44

then. Right? That's right. So anyway, they went to the grocery

David Albin: 00:12:48

store one day, both of them. And they did that a lot. Right. You

David Albin: 00:12:52

go together, right? You didn't leave your kids home. It's like,

David Albin: 00:12:56

no big deal. This is the 60s For God's sakes, right. All you did

David Albin: 00:13:00

was call the neighbor across the street and say, Hey, Joanne, Bob

David Albin: 00:13:03

and I are going to the grocery store. David's gonna be home

David Albin: 00:13:06

alone. Hey, if he needs anything, can he come knock on

David Albin: 00:13:09

the door? Well, yeah, sure. Tell him to come over now. Well, I'll

David Albin: 00:13:13

feed him a fried bologna sandwich, man, if you've never

David Albin: 00:13:16

had a sandwich of the 60s, man. So when they left I knew where

David Albin: 00:13:22

the booze was. They were hiding it in plain sight. And I wanted

David Albin: 00:13:24

to know what this stuff was. And so curiosity, I went over and

David Albin: 00:13:28

grabbed it out of the out of the cabinet. I set it on, I remember

David Albin: 00:13:32

looking at this big giant half gallon of brandy. And I took a

David Albin: 00:13:37

coffee cup and I filled it about halfway and I doubted Alan. And

David Albin: 00:13:41

you know what? I never had a chance at Burger. I was an

David Albin: 00:13:45

alcoholic right on the spot, rarely started. And I started

David Albin: 00:13:48

thinking alcoholic Lee acting alcoholic Lee. Oh, yeah, I was

David Albin: 00:13:52

done. Stick a fork in me. Now alcoholism is running through my

David Albin: 00:13:55

family anyway. So it's no secret. You know, it's not like

David Albin: 00:13:58

I was immune from it. I boom, I was done. And I'm, you know, I'm

David Albin: 00:14:03

11 years old. For God's sakes. Well, it just got that got

David Albin: 00:14:06

worse. Because you don't know the drinking in the house. I

David Albin: 00:14:09

didn't want to be anywhere around it. Right. So I was

David Albin: 00:14:11

always outside down the street. I could get on my bicycle and

David Albin: 00:14:14

ride miles away. I could ride all the way to the beach and

David Albin: 00:14:16

nobody would know the difference. And so as I got

David Albin: 00:14:20

through school is getting through school that's not

David Albin: 00:14:22

working. I'm not doing well. By the time I was a junior, Tom was

David Albin: 00:14:27

a junior in high school, they pulled me into the principal's

David Albin: 00:14:29

office and said, Alvin, you're out. If we're done with you,

David Albin: 00:14:33

you're a threat to our school. Now the good news, whether that

David Albin: 00:14:36

was I was good with it. I'm like good. I don't want to go to

David Albin: 00:14:39

school. You're not teaching me anything that's gonna make me a

David Albin: 00:14:41

living anyway. Or at least that was my belief at the moment. I

David Albin: 00:14:44

was already an entrepreneur. And I was an entrepreneur because

David Albin: 00:14:48

when I was young, you know, back when I was 11. The other

David Albin: 00:14:51

flipside was my mom grew flowers in the backyard. She had this

David Albin: 00:14:54

giant planter. It was L shaped and she had 1000s of flowers. I

David Albin: 00:15:00

was growing up there. Now understand mom, she was the

David Albin: 00:15:02

oldest of the kids, right? She could do everything during the

David Albin: 00:15:05

Depression. She sold clothes, she made clothes. She She farm

David Albin: 00:15:08

she, she did it. All right, so she knew how to grow flowers.

David Albin: 00:15:12

And so she went out, she'd cut those bad boys. And she taken

David Albin: 00:15:15

she cut it at an angle, she wouldn't cut it at the bottom,

David Albin: 00:15:17

she cut at an angle to open up more surface areas. So more

David Albin: 00:15:20

water would get into the, into the flower, right. And she could

David Albin: 00:15:24

arrange them she had a beautiful eye for color. And she would

David Albin: 00:15:26

arrange them and she put a rubber band around them. And

David Albin: 00:15:29

then she put them in a bucket and she put water in the bucket.

David Albin: 00:15:31

And then here's what she did. Here was the magic. The genius

David Albin: 00:15:35

was she put a little bit of setup in up in that water. And

David Albin: 00:15:39

something about that seven up would get up into those flowers

David Albin: 00:15:41

and they would outlast every florist in town.

Unknown: 00:15:46

So I'm on the street corner selling flowers. That was

Unknown: 00:15:49

last two weeks easily. And so there I am, I'm learning

Unknown: 00:15:53

negotiate with, you know, with people. I got a paper route

Unknown: 00:15:56

shortly thereafter. That's a full blown full blown job you

Unknown: 00:16:00

are you are an entrepreneur, you're running your own

Unknown: 00:16:02

business. Seven days a week, you got to go get your papers after

Unknown: 00:16:06

school. You got to get up early in the morning on Saturday and

Unknown: 00:16:09

Sunday. Because if people want that early morning paper, you

Unknown: 00:16:12

gonna fold them, deliver them collect the money, turn it into

Unknown: 00:16:15

your den, mother, all of that. It's you're a full blown

Unknown: 00:16:18

entrepreneur, and I grew up across the street from a golf

Unknown: 00:16:21

course. Well, this is you know, and guess what I learned about

Unknown: 00:16:25

golfers? They suck. Right? Those guys would hit the balls over

Unknown: 00:16:30

the fence and I'd go take my Stingray bicycle. I'd ride

Unknown: 00:16:33

around the perimeter and guess what I'd find golf golf balls

Unknown: 00:16:37

everywhere. So I'd take them home clean them. And I went back

Unknown: 00:16:40

to the golf course and they throw the boxes. They came in,

Unknown: 00:16:43

in the trash. Well, I've taken and then I'd come back and I'd

Unknown: 00:16:47

arrange them. I put no title is max fly Dunlop Wilson's. And I

Unknown: 00:16:52

go back into the parking lot of the golf course and sell them

Unknown: 00:16:55

back to the golfers. So my belief system when I got kicked

Unknown: 00:17:00

out of high school, there's money out there, go get it. Yep,

Unknown: 00:17:02

it's out there, man. It's everywhere. And so I got a job

Unknown: 00:17:05

and in the biggest grocery store in the state of California. And

Unknown: 00:17:09

I got into an apprentice program, I became a retail

Unknown: 00:17:12

clerks, which was a subsidiary of the teamsters union. And the

Unknown: 00:17:17

next thing I know after a year, I'm making eight bucks an hour

Unknown: 00:17:20

in 1972. So that's like 50 bucks an hour now, right? I went out

Unknown: 00:17:26

and bought a new muscle of new Mach one Mustang. I got my own

Unknown: 00:17:29

apartment in Belmont Shore California. And as a good thing,

Unknown: 00:17:33

I was making money because I had a hell of a drug habit. I was

Unknown: 00:17:36

taken in Fetta means because I was working night crew. I was

Unknown: 00:17:39

doing coke. I was doing heroin. I was drinking alcohol. I mean,

Unknown: 00:17:42

as a as a train wreck man as a plane crash and a five car

Unknown: 00:17:46

collision all rolled into one. And but I went out and and you

Unknown: 00:17:49

know, who do you hang out with when you're got that kind of a

Unknown: 00:17:52

lifestyle you're hanging out with drug addicts you're hanging

Unknown: 00:17:54

out with, with drug dealers and pimps and prostitutes. And I

Unknown: 00:17:57

mean, you know, gangs and the whole nine yards. Well, to

Unknown: 00:18:01

further this, three and three marriages later, I'm I woke up

Unknown: 00:18:07

on June 8 of 1988. And I got up that morning, and I said, This

Unknown: 00:18:11

is it. I'm done. I'm out that I can't do the pain anymore.

Unknown: 00:18:15

Probably be somewhere with my dad. And I'm like, so I'm going

Unknown: 00:18:19

to in my life. I'm going to load my pistol. I'm going to put a

Unknown: 00:18:21

bullet in my head and the pains going away and I'll be done with

Unknown: 00:18:23

it. Yep, well, I'm married to a woman who's got three kids, and

Unknown: 00:18:26

they're my stepkids. They're living upstairs. I'm living in

Unknown: 00:18:29

the basement because they wanted nothing to do with me at that

Unknown: 00:18:32

point. So as I'm contemplating and getting ready to put a

Unknown: 00:18:37

bullet in my head, it dawns on me, when you pull that trigger,

Unknown: 00:18:41

yeah, your troubles go away. Right, but those three kids,

Unknown: 00:18:44

you're killing them, you're going to ruin their life. It's

Unknown: 00:18:48

not fair. You can't do that to them. Figure out another plan,

Unknown: 00:18:52

pow. And this is the conversation I'm having with

Unknown: 00:18:56

myself. And so now I'm like, No, you can't do that. You can't

Unknown: 00:18:59

ruin their life. And so the next thought I had was okay, well,

Unknown: 00:19:03

you got to do something. And the next thought I had Ellen is call

Unknown: 00:19:07

Alcoholics Anonymous. Well, you know what's weird about that?

Unknown: 00:19:11

Bizarre, if you will, I don't know who he is. I don't know

Unknown: 00:19:15

anybody in AAA. I've never been to AAA and yeah, there's the

Unknown: 00:19:18

thought call Alcoholics Anonymous. And I did. And I got

Unknown: 00:19:22

a wonderful human being on the phone to this day. I've

Unknown: 00:19:26

affectionately nicknamed her match. And the reason I

Unknown: 00:19:31

nicknamed her mad in a playful loving way is because she talked

Unknown: 00:19:34

like this. She probably smoked two packs a Powerball nine

Unknown: 00:19:39

filters a day. And man, she was a badass. She was a gatekeeper

Unknown: 00:19:43

man, that was her job. Her job is to interview you. And if she

Unknown: 00:19:47

thinks it's warranted, she will call somebody in AAA to come get

Unknown: 00:19:51

you. And she did. She called Lauren and Lauren came and

Unknown: 00:19:55

picked me up and he took me to my first AAA meeting. And while

Unknown: 00:20:01

I was there, they took a big book of Alcoholics Anonymous,

Unknown: 00:20:04

the fourth edition, I believe it was, and they sign it. It was

Unknown: 00:20:07

all men's group, by the way. And they, they they wrote on the

Unknown: 00:20:10

inside cover before you take that first drink, call one of

Unknown: 00:20:13

us, they put their first name, and their telephone number. They

Unknown: 00:20:15

sent me home with that. And so my AAA career started next day,

Unknown: 00:20:20

you know, I got two days, and then I got a week and then I got

Unknown: 00:20:23

a month. And when I that first day, they also gave me one of

Unknown: 00:20:26

these a chip. And then a 30 days, they gave me another one.

Unknown: 00:20:30

Well, I got a sponsor. And here's what my sponsor told me.

Unknown: 00:20:32

He said, Tell you what, put this in your put this on your tongue.

Unknown: 00:20:37

And if it dissolves, it's made of metal. He said, when when it

Unknown: 00:20:42

dissolves, you can have a drink. Which meant you're never going

Unknown: 00:20:46

to drink again. Pow, right. So you know, I got two months, they

Unknown: 00:20:50

gave me another chip, and then three months, six months, nine

Unknown: 00:20:52

months, one year. And then of course, since last June

Unknown: 00:20:55

8 19 2023. I picked up one for 35 years. In fact, I was on a

Unknown: 00:21:02

podcast here. Thank you. I appreciate that. You know, and I

Unknown: 00:21:06

it's hard to it's hard. It's hard for me there because it's

Unknown: 00:21:08

like, look, oh, I get to stop trying to kill myself. That's

Unknown: 00:21:11

all I really did. I was on a podcast here recently, she was a

Unknown: 00:21:15

clinical psychologist. And she said, Do you have any you? Were

Unknown: 00:21:17

you addicted to heroin and cocaine too? Yeah, you were

Unknown: 00:21:21

doing all hard drugs? Yeah. And alcohol. Yeah, she goes, Do you

Unknown: 00:21:24

have any idea what the odds are of you making it out? And I'm

Unknown: 00:21:28

like, No, and I don't want to know, all I know is I'm here.

Unknown: 00:21:32

And that's, that's all I care about. And because of that, I

Unknown: 00:21:37

came to I came to an awakening that I had a divine purpose. And

Unknown: 00:21:41

it was to do the greater good and serve other human beings.

Unknown: 00:21:45

Because in a in the preamble, and you know, you got the 12

Unknown: 00:21:49

steps and 12 traditions. But in the middle there, Alan, they got

Unknown: 00:21:52

the preamble. And the preamble says, when anyone anywhere

Unknown: 00:21:55

reaches out, I want the hand of a to be there. And for that. I'm

Unknown: 00:22:00

responsible. Well, I took that to heart. That's what they

Unknown: 00:22:03

showed me. So talk about duplication right there I was.

Unknown: 00:22:08

Well, at the same time, I'm getting sober. I'm up late one

Unknown: 00:22:12

night, 1988, three o'clock in the morning who gets queued

Unknown: 00:22:15

Guess who's the only person on television at three o'clock in

Unknown: 00:22:19

the morning? In 1988? You're laughing because you know,

Unknown: 00:22:24

right. There he is, you know, Mr. Enthusiasm, you know, a

Unknown: 00:22:30

young Tony Robbins of vibrant, Tony Robbins being promoted by

Unknown: 00:22:34

gmefi rancor showing his personal power program, a 30 day

Unknown: 00:22:40

program for total success. And so I did not like him. I'm gonna

Unknown: 00:22:45

tell you right now, I thought he was pompous. Like, these aren't

Unknown: 00:22:48

motivated, and I'm not motivated, I'm miserable. But he

Unknown: 00:22:53

said a couple things that got me. So I kept listening to him.

Unknown: 00:22:56

The first thing he said was, we'll do more to avoid pain. And

Unknown: 00:22:59

we will again, pleasure. And I went, Wow, oh, let's,

Alan Carroll: 00:23:04

let's share that with the audience a little

Alan Carroll: 00:23:05

slower when we, when we get them golden nuggets, Dave. Let's go

Alan Carroll: 00:23:11

real slow, real

Unknown: 00:23:12

slow and find that. He said we'll do more to avoid

Unknown: 00:23:17

pain, then we will to gain pleasure. Well, that resonated

Unknown: 00:23:22

with me, because I was using alcohol and drugs for those two

Unknown: 00:23:25

purposes. I was either trying to avoid pain with the drugs and

Unknown: 00:23:29

alcohol, or I was trying to chase some type of pleasure. So

Unknown: 00:23:35

that resonated with me, right? But I still don't like the guy.

Unknown: 00:23:39

But then here's what God. He said the driving force in our

Unknown: 00:23:44

lives as human beings. How we make decisions are, we're in

Unknown: 00:23:51

we're either we're either influenced by inspiration, or

Unknown: 00:23:56

desperation. And when he said that, I went, Oh my gosh, Man,

Unknown: 00:24:02

am I desperate? Maybe I should listen to this dude. And I did.

Unknown: 00:24:06

So I bought his program. They sent it to me came in a big box.

Unknown: 00:24:11

And the program came on these little white things called

Unknown: 00:24:14

cassette tapes said, because that what's that? Talking about?

Unknown: 00:24:21

They're, well, they're in the Smithsonian. You'll see them

Unknown: 00:24:23

they're right next to eight track tapes and reel to reel and

Alan Carroll: 00:24:27

35 millimeter slides. You can add that to the

Alan Carroll: 00:24:29

file.

Unknown: 00:24:30

Look. Yeah, exactly. So I plugged them in and I did what

Unknown: 00:24:35

the man taught me to do. I went You bet. Right. So that's all

Unknown: 00:24:38

that all went down in Ada. Well, one of my buddies, I started to

Unknown: 00:24:41

make the changes. I started working out I started losing

Unknown: 00:24:44

weight. I started I started a chauffeur business back in those

Unknown: 00:24:47

days started doing really well. You know, my attitudes good. I'm

Unknown: 00:24:50

changing them. I'm Suzy asterik. I'm up I'm, I'm grateful. You

Unknown: 00:24:54

know, I'm grateful for life and my the second chance and so AAA

Unknown: 00:24:59

in the personal development industry collided in my life at

Unknown: 00:25:03

the same time early on. And that was that rarely happens to

Unknown: 00:25:08

people in a head. So that was really it, man. So. So my buddy

Unknown: 00:25:15

in a one day is talking to me. He's got about two years on,

Unknown: 00:25:19

he's like, dude, what's going on with you? Why are you so

Unknown: 00:25:22

motivated? You're all encouraging, and I hear you in

Unknown: 00:25:24

the meetings and you're very uplifting. He goes, Man, what's

Unknown: 00:25:27

going on? And I said, Well, I've been listening to this guy named

Unknown: 00:25:30

Tony Robbins. Because I know Tony Robbins is I bought his

Unknown: 00:25:34

book, but I never read it. Well, how often does that show up?

Unknown: 00:25:41

Right. We want to make a change when we buy a book or buy a

Unknown: 00:25:44

program, and then we don't do it. Yeah, I knew who you are.

Unknown: 00:25:47

You're out there listening. Right? We do it. Well, anyway, I

Unknown: 00:25:51

said, Look, I bought his program. I'll loan it to you. If

Unknown: 00:25:54

you promise me to go through it. He said, I promise. So I gave it

Unknown: 00:25:58

to you did, you went through it. Seven years later. This is all

Unknown: 00:26:02

going on in 1988 1989. To 919 95 My phone rings. It's dan. He

Unknown: 00:26:09

goes, dude. Hey, man, did you know that Tony Robbins is coming

Unknown: 00:26:13

to town? And I'm like, No, man. I had no clue. He goes, dude,

Unknown: 00:26:17

come on. You got me into this. You gotta go with me. Come on.

Unknown: 00:26:20

Let's go. Yep. And I said, Well, what's the date? I said, so he's

Unknown: 00:26:24

I said, Yeah, I'll go. He said, Great. Listen, I'm gonna call

Unknown: 00:26:27

you back. Let me go make the arrangements. Let me call you

Unknown: 00:26:29

back. calls me back an hour later, he goes done. Here's what

Unknown: 00:26:33

they told us to do. Number one, drink a lot of water. Stay

Unknown: 00:26:36

hydrated throughout the event. Number two, bring snacks. You're

Unknown: 00:26:41

gonna laugh at this one. They said bring snacks, you're gonna

Unknown: 00:26:43

have a lot of room. What an understatement. That is I was

Unknown: 00:26:48

laughing because he knows. And so. And then he said, be ready

Unknown: 00:26:53

to play full out and bring your good attitude. And I said, Well,

Unknown: 00:26:56

how much was the ticket? Dan? He said $695 What? $695.90 95?

Unknown: 00:27:02

Right. what's that worth today? Yeah, 1.3 million. I don't buy

Unknown: 00:27:11

Bitcoin for God's sakes. Hey, that's literally Bitcoins. Yeah,

Unknown: 00:27:16

absolutely. So just as he's getting ready to get off the

Unknown: 00:27:21

phone, he goes, Oh, by the way, I left out almost left after the

Unknown: 00:27:23

most important part. Because we're going to be doing a fire

Unknown: 00:27:27

watch. No, I'm like, Oh, hell no. No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm

Unknown: 00:27:37

not saying anything. But my brain is going no fire walk

Unknown: 00:27:40

together. No. You know what's funny. I don't know what a

Unknown: 00:27:42

firewall is. I don't know what that meant. I have no recipe for

Unknown: 00:27:45

references for that. I have no idea what he just told me. But I

Unknown: 00:27:48

said, No, I'm not saying anything to Dan. I'm making

Unknown: 00:27:52

these decisions quietly. Right. And I'm like, going along with

Unknown: 00:27:55

I'm like, you know, I'm being subservient. I'm like, Yeah,

Unknown: 00:27:57

sure. You know, firewall. Yeah, sounds good. Dan. Okay, man. See

Unknown: 00:28:01

you then. Well, the big day comes. And we get there. And you

Unknown: 00:28:05

know, this. Tony took the stage at two o'clock in the afternoon.

Unknown: 00:28:10

Next thing I know, it's after midnight. Right. You've been in?

Unknown: 00:28:16

I've been in a room. We've all been in a room. There's 3500 of

Unknown: 00:28:19

us, by the way at this event. And you I've been in a room with

Unknown: 00:28:23

Tony for 10 hours. You know, remember the part bring snacks?

Unknown: 00:28:26

Yeah. If you don't just starve to death. And the next thing you

Unknown: 00:28:29

know, and I'm not doing it, I made a decision. This is a hard

Unknown: 00:28:33

no for me. I'm not going to do this firewalk and all sudden,

Unknown: 00:28:36

Tony goes take your shoes off. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no,

Unknown: 00:28:42

no, no. I see where you're going with that. Wow. I fallen for

Unknown: 00:28:48

that. Well, here's the dilemma. I'm in a room with 3500 people.

Unknown: 00:28:53

Guess what they're doing? They're taking their damn shoes

Unknown: 00:28:56

off. That's right. And we're going on taking no people don't

Unknown: 00:28:59

go towards the light. It's like, Oh, you gotta be kidding me. So

Unknown: 00:29:03

now my dilemma is what am I going to do? What am I going to

Unknown: 00:29:06

take my shoes off and walk out there into this parking lot?

Unknown: 00:29:10

With 3500 people and wear my shoes are all going to be

Unknown: 00:29:13

pointing to me. They're gonna know I'm a coward. Now we can't

Unknown: 00:29:16

have that. So I'm like, calm down. Just chill. Take your

Unknown: 00:29:19

shoes off. And when you get out there, just go hide in the back.

Unknown: 00:29:23

No one is going to know period. Of course right? So there's my

Unknown: 00:29:28

now it gets worse as you know when he gets everybody going out

Unknown: 00:29:31

there once you get everybody to start doing clapping and

Unknown: 00:29:35

chanting. Right so they're walking out there going? Yes,

Unknown: 00:29:39

yes. Yes. And I'm walking out there going? No, I don't think

Unknown: 00:29:43

so. Not tonight boys and girls. And But it gets worse. You know

Unknown: 00:29:49

this to you get out there. He's got African drummers.

Alan Carroll: 00:29:53

Oh, yeah. Dunton feels good in the body. Oh,

Alan Carroll: 00:29:57

yeah. Boom.

Unknown: 00:30:00

But you know what a dog and pony show, right? And then

Unknown: 00:30:03

you get out there, of course. And he's got this giant fire

Unknown: 00:30:06

built over here in the corner, right? And it's huge. It's 35

Unknown: 00:30:11

feet wide. It's 70 feet long. It's been burning all day. And

Unknown: 00:30:16

it renders after 10 hours. And so they just keep throwing wood

Unknown: 00:30:20

on it all day. And at the end of the night, this big giant pile

Unknown: 00:30:24

of coals, some blue, woohoo, blue flame. It's gorgeous.

Unknown: 00:30:28

Right? So how do you how do you firewalk 3500 people? Well, what

Unknown: 00:30:32

you do is you take wheelbarrows over to that big pile coals, you

Unknown: 00:30:36

load the coals in a wheelbarrow, you bring a wheelbarrow in and

Unknown: 00:30:40

you run two lanes of side, grass on the side. And that lanes, you

Unknown: 00:30:46

know, three feet wide, 18 feet long. And then you just take a

Unknown: 00:30:49

flathead shovel, and you sprinkle those coals on top of

Unknown: 00:30:53

that grass. And that's what you walk on. Well, I'm having none

Unknown: 00:30:57

of it. Where am I? I'm in the back. I'm Heidi. Well, here's

Unknown: 00:31:00

what Tony Robbins knows. He did his research. He didn't bring

Unknown: 00:31:04

the firewalk to his events because he thought he was going

Unknown: 00:31:07

to hurt people. Right? He knows he did his research firewalking

Unknown: 00:31:12

is literally one of the most life changing experiences any

Unknown: 00:31:16

human will ever go through. Period. firewalk has been around

Unknown: 00:31:20

for 1000 years. It's not new. It may be new to the west, but it's

Unknown: 00:31:23

not new to the rest of the world. Just go ask the

Unknown: 00:31:26

Phoenicians or the people of India. Oh my gosh, they've been

Unknown: 00:31:29

doing it. It's incredible. The fireworks they do in India, the

Unknown: 00:31:33

Polynesians, the Hawaiians, the people of Spain and Portugal and

Unknown: 00:31:38

the Indo Europeans, the Native American Indians, it's been

Unknown: 00:31:41

around for 1000 years used as a rite of passage, a graduation.

Unknown: 00:31:45

So Tony knows that this is, you know, he wants to get you across

Unknown: 00:31:49

that fire. And the reason is, because he knows the paradigm

Unknown: 00:31:52

shift is there. He knows it's going to be one of the most life

Unknown: 00:31:55

changing experiences you'll ever endure. And so he wants to make

Unknown: 00:31:59

sure you get through that experience. What's he do? He

Unknown: 00:32:02

knows there's people like me, he knows where we are. He knows

Unknown: 00:32:05

we're hiding in the back. He's not. He's very experienced at

Unknown: 00:32:09

this. So what's he do? He trains people to come find you. So here

Unknown: 00:32:13

I'm thinking I got it all figured out hiding in the back.

Unknown: 00:32:16

Next thing, you know, here comes this guy. You know, it's coming

Unknown: 00:32:23

right on back there. And all of a sudden, he makes eye contact.

Unknown: 00:32:28

And Tony trains them. Once you make eye contact, don't take

Unknown: 00:32:31

your eyes off. And so I'm out there and he makes eye contact

Unknown: 00:32:35

with me and it gets to you know, I don't know 20 feet from any

Unknown: 00:32:38

kind of looks at me really funny. Like a dog that hears a

Unknown: 00:32:41

strange sound right? twisted his head. And he's looking at me

Unknown: 00:32:44

goes Hey, man, are you okay? And when we're not okay, what do we

Unknown: 00:32:48

say? What do we do? I'm fine. Rely we're fine. Yeah. Oh, good.

Unknown: 00:32:52

Here, move along. Nothing to see here. Smile. And he says so.

Unknown: 00:32:55

Hey, man, are you going to walk tonight? I'm like, Absolutely

Unknown: 00:32:59

not. What do you think I'm hiding in the back full? And he

Unknown: 00:33:05

goes, Hey, man, that's cool. No problem. He said, We don't want

Unknown: 00:33:09

you to do anything you don't want to do. And I went, Oh,

Unknown: 00:33:14

okay. Well, this guy is gonna get me out of here. Not so much.

Unknown: 00:33:18

And you know, what's interesting about this man, now is, I don't

Unknown: 00:33:22

know who it is to this day. This one guy that I don't know, ask

Unknown: 00:33:26

me one question. It completely changed my life. That's those

Unknown: 00:33:30

kinds of things happen in our lives all the time, but we don't

Unknown: 00:33:33

recognize it in the moment. And so here's this perfect stranger.

Unknown: 00:33:37

And the question he asked me was, wouldn't you at least like

Unknown: 00:33:39

to watch? And I thought, Well, sure. Oh, watch. That'd be fine.

Unknown: 00:33:45

Let's go watch these people burn their feet off. Yeah, let's do

Unknown: 00:33:47

that. And he said, well, listen, man, you can't see anything from

Unknown: 00:33:50

where you are. He's right. And he's telling the truth. I'm 100

Unknown: 00:33:53

yards away. I got 3500 People standing for it. I can't see

Unknown: 00:33:56

anything. I can hear it. I could see the big fire over here. I

Unknown: 00:34:01

can hear the drums I can feel the drums I can hear the

Unknown: 00:34:03

chanting and the clapping. People are already firewalking

Unknown: 00:34:07

and they're in the celebration and and they're jumping up like

Unknown: 00:34:09

crazy screaming with exhilaration. That's all

Unknown: 00:34:13

happening, but I can't see anything. And he said, well just

Unknown: 00:34:16

get in line and eventually you'll get up there you'll be

Unknown: 00:34:18

able to see it. You got me, right, he got me in line. That's

Unknown: 00:34:25

all that he needed to do. And he was congruent. Because I

Unknown: 00:34:28

couldn't see anything and I wouldn't have been able to see

Unknown: 00:34:30

anything and I've not gotten a lot. So I'm in line I'm kind of

Unknown: 00:34:34

trudging along and you know, again, it's it's it's it's a dog

Unknown: 00:34:37

and pony show unlike anything you've ever seen, felt or

Unknown: 00:34:40

experienced. And all sudden this guy comes up to me he whispers

Unknown: 00:34:44

in my ear. And he says he knows when you're ready. When he says

Unknown: 00:34:48

go you go and pew. This guy just disappeared into the night. And

Unknown: 00:34:54

I'm like, what was that? Who was that? What does that mean? He

Unknown: 00:34:59

knows when you You're ready. And so I'm just walking along and

Unknown: 00:35:03

I'm walking along and all sudden I get to a point I still can't

Unknown: 00:35:05

see in front of me. I got 1000 people in front of me, but I can

Unknown: 00:35:10

see at an angle. And Alan, you know, they're doing it. every

Unknown: 00:35:14

race, every creed, every color. And they're Firewalker their

Unknown: 00:35:19

walk walking on hot coals and I'm mesmerized. I can't take my

Unknown: 00:35:23

eyes off it. You know, it's like a it's like a car accident,

Unknown: 00:35:27

right? You Oh, I'm not supposed to look at it. But what do we do

Unknown: 00:35:29

we stare at? Yeah, well, that's kind of what's going on here. I

Unknown: 00:35:31

can't take my eyes off it. And I'm and again, I'm just going to

Unknown: 00:35:35

trance and I'm walking along and boom. Next thing I know, guess

Unknown: 00:35:39

where I am. Right. I missed the front of the line. And now I'm

Unknown: 00:35:46

looking down at that fire lane, right? It's three feet wide.

Unknown: 00:35:49

It's 18 feet long. The calls have been sprinkled on top.

Unknown: 00:35:52

They're glowing. Alright, growing calls. Yeah. Oh, cheese,

Unknown: 00:35:56

and the wheelbarrows right there so I can feel the heat coming

Unknown: 00:35:59

off. So this is real. Yep. And I'm staring into the abyss.

Unknown: 00:36:02

Yeah, my heart is pounding so hard. I know. It's gonna jump

Unknown: 00:36:05

out of my chest any moment. Yep. Well, there's a trainer standing

Unknown: 00:36:08

right there. Yep, I'll send the trainer goes up. And I bring my

Unknown: 00:36:14

like, you know, you startled right, my eyes. Well, well done.

Unknown: 00:36:17

I'm in a room for 10 hours with Tony Robbins. And guess what he

Unknown: 00:36:19

teaches you to do, as you well know. Keep your eyes up. Don't

Unknown: 00:36:22

stare at what you fear. interesting metaphor. Keep your

Unknown: 00:36:26

eyes up look to the celebration and because that's where the

Unknown: 00:36:29

reward is. And so because basically, fear is nothing more

Unknown: 00:36:33

than exhilaration without the breath. Let me say that again.

Unknown: 00:36:39

Fear, in most cases is nothing more than exhilaration without

Unknown: 00:36:43

the breath, because it's like going on a roller coaster. You

Unknown: 00:36:46

get scared? What do you do? You hold your breath. You're not

Unknown: 00:36:50

breathing, just like we did when we started your podcast. We took

Unknown: 00:36:53

a nice big deep cleansing breath, get oxygen into your

Unknown: 00:36:56

body get get your mind moving. And so the trainer goes, squeeze

Unknown: 00:37:02

your fist and say yes. And I'm like, Yes. And you want

Unknown: 00:37:06

stronger. No, yes. Well, he could tell. He's been doing

Unknown: 00:37:10

this. He knew I wasn't in a peak state. He knew I was leaving a

Unknown: 00:37:13

lot on the table. So what did he do? You got in my face and

Unknown: 00:37:16

screamed at me stronger. screamed at me. Well, that's

Unknown: 00:37:20

fighter flight. So I threw my hands in the air and I screamed

Unknown: 00:37:24

Yes, as loud as I could any goes, go go go. I took off.

Unknown: 00:37:29

Right? Remember the guy he knows when you're ready. When he says

Unknown: 00:37:32

go you go. I went? Well, here's the first thing I learned about

Unknown: 00:37:36

firewalking and I'll bet you learned something similar. And

Unknown: 00:37:39

that is when you take that first step. Oh, you'll take the

Unknown: 00:37:43

second, third fourth. You're not gonna stop on that fire lane.

Unknown: 00:37:48

Ain't gonna happen. Well, as you might also know, they put two

Unknown: 00:37:51

guys at the end two people at the end and they lock arms to

Unknown: 00:37:54

stop you and they catch you. Right it's like stop like your

Unknown: 00:37:57

feet.