Season five of Gossip Girl kicks off with motorcycle crashes, royal power plays, anonymous literary leaks, and a pregnancy bombshell that shakes the Upper East Side.

Leif (your seasoned GG veteran) and Steve (still processing the chaos in real time) break down the premiere episode inspired by Less Than Zero — and yes, we absolutely spiral about timelines, royal traditions, and dumpster-dived pregnancy tests.

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Produced by Leif Capicola and Steve Marchion. 

Edited and mixed by Leif Capicola.

The Gossip Girl Theme Performed By Steve Marchion.

I get the notion of wanting to wear your mother's

wedding dress at your wedding. Yeah, but wanting

your bride to wear your mother's dress.

Yeah. Little weird. Weird. Super weird. Super

weird. No. I want you to wear the dress I was

conceived in.

Hey, Upper east siders and all you scandal loving

listeners out there, you just tuned in to the non

judging breakfast pod where the coffee is strong,

the waffles are fresh, and the gossip is hotter

than ever. My name is Leif and I'm your seasoned

Gossip Girl veteran.

And I'm Steve. The newbie, the greenhorn, the

rookie, the. I don't know, Leif. What are we now

that we are kicking off season five?

I'm not sure where you are on the social

hierarchy, but you'd be perfect as a kid from the

east coast with a political family who's

constantly manipulated while trying to keep

everyone around him happy.

Well, in that case, all I can say is yes,

sounds good.

So here's the deal, folks. Leaf has been watching

Gossip Girl since it first aired and I'm tuning in

for the very first time. And together we're your

dynamic duo, bringing you all the drama, romance,

and sometimes questionable fashion choices of this

iconic 2007 series.

Bring your magnifying glasses because each week

we're dissecting every juicy detail of the show

one episode at a time. We'll connect the dots,

uncover those sneaky little Easter eggs, and of

course serve up some piping hot behind the scenes

tea. And expect some iconic phantom moments too,

because what's a deep dive without a little drama?

And since we are all about inclusivity here at the

non judging breakfast pod, there is always a seat

for you at the non judging breakfast table. So go

ahead and grab your mimosa, a cup of coffee or get

something with Nate's card and let's go ahead and

get into this.

And ah, welcome to season five. We did have a

couple comments from the end of the last season.

What is it now?

On episode both from Spotify. mal, on episode 20

commented the scene where Chuck crashes the party

is so hard to watch. For me, I think Blake Lively

actually does a really good job acting job there

when she's trying to get Chuck not to ruin it.

Which is why it pisses me off even more that they

had her say that what he did was romantic. True

character assassination of Serena.

Yeah, yeah, great point. Yeah, great point.

Because she does try to stop the whole thing and

then defends it knowing it was ridiculous.

And then on episode 22, Eden commented sharing

her, Knowledge of the Jewish heritage with us. She

said usually the bar Mitzvah ceremony happens at

Saturday morning service. It can happen at night

though, but the actual party is very commonly held

at night, especially for rich kids. The common

thing would be to have the family at the services

and then the friends and family at a massive

wedding sized party that. That night. Lol.

Yep, that. Okay, that scam.

That makes sense.

Yeah.

Yeah, I just felt like late for a kid's party

because, like, at the end of like the adult party.

Right. Yeah, yeah. Robin actually had, and this is

like one of those, sort of Jewish trivia things.

Robin had a Benet Mitzvah because she has a twin

brother. And so a, b. Mitzvah is when you have

twins of opposite sex that have their bar mitzvah.

Bat Mitzvah.

I did not know that. Yeah, the more you know, that

is it for comments for now, but you can send us

more stuff. you can comment on Spotify, you can

leave a review on Apple podcasts, you can write us

on non, judging breakfast podmail.com and we will

read your comments on the show.

We are here though, to talk about the season

premiere. Season five, episode one. Yes, then

zero. Original air date was September 26, 2011 and

the title was based on the movie slash book Less

Than Zero.

Yes, I have not seen it. I know of the movie.

I've read the book.

Yeah, I've neither.

It is starring our old friend Andrew.

Andrew McCarthy. Yes, I did. I did know that. That

it was, Is it also. Is it Stoltz? Is it him and

Eric Stoltz?

Robert Daddy Jr. Oh, and Jamie Gertz is the

female. Female lead. Okay, now this is like at

least three movies that I know of. They're based

on Brett Easton Alice books, which they don't

necessarily. The movies don't necessarily share a

cinematic universe, but the. All his books do

share a literary universe. They all have little

connections in them.

Oh, that's cool.

So three movies. I know. So Less than Zero, but

also American Psycho. that's probably the most

popular one. And also the Rules of Attraction.

Okay, I've heard of it, but so

Patrick Bateman, the main character in American

Psycho, is brother to the main character in Rules

of Attraction, Sean Bateman.

Oh, okay.

Played by Dawson's Creek's James Vanderbeek. Oh,

this episode was written by our good friend Joshua

Saffron. His fourth straight season premiere. Yep,

I will spoil. He will not be writing the season

finale, though. Oh, so he's written a Lot of

episodes. I'll, name some highlights. Bad news

blares, 17 candles, high society, New Haven can

Wait, Magnificent Archibalds. You got Yale. Like I

said, four straight season premiere. Also did

season two, three and four premieres and finales.

I should say you did a couple

Thanksgiving ones too, right?

Magnus Archibald was one of them. And also he did

the Treasure of Serena Madre, which was season

three. And also I think what was the best episode

of season four, which is gaslit.

Mm,

M. And the episode was directed by the pilot

maker, Mark Pizarski.

Okay.

This is his third season premiere that he's done

of the show. He also did the backdoor pilot for

Valley, Girls.

Oh, right.

But also did the first season Thanksgiving

episode. Yeah. He also did Treasure of Serena

Madre with Joshua Safran. And yeah, like I said,

this is third. He did the season one and the

season four and now the season five premieres. And

also so like the season before premiere where it

was like a double episode. He also does this one

and the next episode.

Oh, okay. Yeah. All of the season premieres tend

to be two parters. They tend to be. You're away

from at least since the first one. Since the first

one. Season two on it always seems to be a, we're

not in New York for an episode and then we're

returning to New York for an episode which this,

of course, we have some in New York, but we have

others not in New York.

So we got some, returning guest stars. Hugo Becker

as Louis, Margaret Collins as Eleanor. Ethan Peck

as Marshall, Joanne Holly as Princess Sophie, Jay

McElron as, Jeremiah Harris. And then we get some,

new guest stars. Elizabeth Hurley as mysterious

Woman. Michael Bichell as Jane. Brian J. Smith as

Max. So obviously everyone knows who Elizabeth

Hurley is, I would think. Michael Michelle, who

plays Jane, been a lot of TV. She did 55 episodes

of ER.

Wow.

Brian J. Smith, who plays Max at the final scene

of, the episode. Been in like 40 episodes of TV

including Stargate Atlantis. M. And then, we had

Zoe Bell also in here. And until I had done my

notes for this episode, I always thought she was

playing herself. She is a stunt performer

coordinator, but apparently she has a character

named Ally.

Oh, okay, that's really funny.

But she's basically playing herself.

Yeah.

Because she is a somewhat, ah, well known longtime

stunt coordinator performer in Hollywood.

okay, that makes more sense as to the casting

because it's like, why is Chuck just all of a

sudden like all about this stunt coordinator out

of nowhere.

But why don't you go ahead and read us that

Vulture recap.

Summer is over and on last night's season five

premiere of Gossip Girl, we got to see how our

favorite Upper east siders used the last few

months of permanent vacation to grow and change.

Serena's internship on a Los Angeles movie set has

led her to believe that she transformed herself in

an it girl to a working girl. And although she has

taken to covering her boobs with chunky necklaces,

her obliviousness to the double meaning of her own

comment lets us know she is still the same person

on the inside. Meanwhile, Chuck has discovered a

new life philosophy called simply yes that allows

him to take all opportunities that present

themselves to which so far seem to include

pleasuring pairs of twins with orchids, wearing

debonair scarves, and engaging in wildly self

destructive behavior. So, same as his old

philosophy then. Nate seems a little hazy on his

storyline until he meets a cougar grifter and

remembers that's the kind of thing he's into.

Blair may soon be undergoing a change that no

amount of chunky necklaces can hide, and Gossip

Girl, for her part, got a new aerial camera and

insisted on showing us a bunch of upside down

shots that made us nauseous. I didn't catch that.

Neither did I.

So got a little bit of sad news on the Vulture

front. I clicked on the season five tab and

realized immediately there's no tab for season

six. Oh, and the last what they do is season five

of episode 11. Wow.

So there's only 10 more of these Vulture reports.

Fire Redemptor is a pretty bad episode, so I don't

play them.

They're just like fuck this.

So yeah, I don't necessarily blame them for

quitting at that point. So at that point we're

going to have to find something new again. We

start Act 1 without a gossip Girl monologue. We

open the season with a black and white scene from

the adaptation of the Beautiful and the Damned. As

the scene cuts, color floods the screen and we are

on the set of the movie. Serena is doing her best

to be a good worker, but is being bullied by

Marshall, who we met at the end of last season.

Before the scene ends, Serena gets a delivery

containing an invitation to the royal wedding.

Yep. Robin was like, why is she having that

delivered to the set? Isn't she staying somewhere?

And my response was it would be just like Blair to

hire a process server to go and basically serve

the paperwork to her friends.

Yes. Back in the Hamptons, Dan Is working on his

softball game and gets his own invitation

delivered by Rufus. We learned that Jenny is going

to fashion school in London. Aw, Yay for Jenny.

Good, Jenny. Good job, Jenny. And since when is

Dan into sports? I know there's that point that he

is into soccer because it was beneficial to Blair.

Well, it was the writers versus artists game. Oh,

if you read the shirts.

Yeah, yeah, that's. That is true. Now you know,

I'm a huge baseball fan, and I'll watch any

baseball. And that's a game I'd love to see. The

writers versus the artists.

Chuck rides up to a yacht on a red sports bike

where Nate is lounging. Nate has received

invitations addressed to both himself and Chuck,

but hides them before Chuck can see what they are.

Chuck wonders why Nate hasn't been hooking up with

anyone before taking two blonde twins into the

ship's cabin.

Nate's just, Nate's just getting along for

himself. That's all.

Yeah, the first I. I watched, See, I. I bet I

wasn't staring at their faces. but then as they

walked away, I noticed they were wearing the same

bathing suit. So I rewound it. And I think. I

mean, I think we're supposed to at least think

they're twins. I'm not sure if they actually are.

If they just look alike.

Yeah, I got the impression that we're

supposed to think they're twins, which kind of

gross. But.

Yeah, it's so funny because, like, especially

growing up in, like, 80s 90s with, like, the hair

bands that you hear them brag about, like. Yeah,

and then we had, like, this mother daughter duo,

and it's like, that's disgusting. Why would you

want to be in a threesome with two people that

are. That are incestuous? Like, if they've gotten

that far, like, gross.

Have you seen the show Love? on Netflix?

Not enough of it. Only, like, the first or second.

What happens in the first episode where he. He's,

like, hanging out with these two women. He thinks

they're just friends, and they go back to his. His

room, and they're about to have sex, and then they

reveal that they're sisters. Oh, he totally freaks

out.

Yeah. Yeah.

And they're like, what's wrong? Good show, though.

I like that show.

Yeah.

I remember you saying that Blair and

Louis have just gotten back to the Waldorf

apartment After spending the summer in the royal

palace having lots of sex. Blair has apparently

been putting off telling her parents something, so

Louis bribes her with a very expensive piece of

jewelry to get her to leave the bedroom. As the

scene ends with Louis reassuring Blair, we also

hear Eleanor in another room, upset about wedding

planning issues.

In this scene, we also have the setup of Louis is

going to this big family event that Blair, his

fiance, can't go to because they aren't married

yet.

Yes. only royals are allowed to. Only royals are

allowed to attend something called the general

Assembly.

To a thing called the general Assembly. Yes. And

also, it reminds me of Sophie telling Blair, like,

oh, you know what? I can work some magic and get

you and still get him his crown. So, yeah, you

guys can get married and he'll still be a prince,

because really, it's arbitrary. Yeah. Ah, you

could have done that, the whole time.

It's tradition, but there's no. It's not law.

Right.

So all of these things you could have done the

whole time, you're just making a bigger deal of it

to specifically gatekeep Blair. Like, fuck both of

you.

It's just to drive the plot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something had to.

Serena is visiting with Nate on the yacht, and we

learn that Chuck won it in a poker game from

Allegro Versace. Chuck emerges from the bedroom

and surprises Serena with his new cheery attitude.

He explains this all thanks to his new life

philosophy that he learned from a Jim Carrey

movie. Then Chuck gives Serena some positive

career advice to assert herself if she wants to be

taken seriously. The yes man came out pretty close

to this episode, I think.

Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah. And so this is

Serena and. And Nate hanging out with Chuck. It

was nice how Chuck greeted Serena that.

Like, it was like, hey, sis, how's it going? Yeah.

Yeah. Like, it was nice to see these three being

the childhood friends that they are without any

other bullshit baggage.

And Chuck not being gross for once.

Yeah, and Chuck not being gross. Yeah, it was

impressive.

Back at the softball game, Dan learns Vanity Fair

is running a chapter from his book from his old

mentor, Jeremiah Harris.

Yeah, it sounded just like your stuff, but,

better. But better. And, you know, the character's

name had your initials, so I thought I'd bring it

up to you. Everyone's read it. How has everybody

read this? If it's going to be. If it hasn't been

published yet, like, this anonymous author.

I guess everyone's wondering who it is. They

probably just shared it around and see if anyone

could figure out who it was.

Someone did. Yep.

Blair, Louis, Sophie, and Eleanor are discussing

wedding planning. And Sophie's royal traditions

are bulldozing all over Blair's personal taste and

when she looks to Louie for support, he just bows

to mommy. Dorota is delivering a tray of drinks

and sees a Gossip Girl blast about fighting the

pregnancy test in the dumpster outside the

building. Dorota thinks the blast must be about

Blair, so pushes Blair to drink alcohol, which she

declines, which also, at the

same time, Dorota knows it's about her.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't. I don't get. Why does she

test Blair?

Yeah, Yeah, I thought that was weird because I

called from the beginning that it was Dorota.

Like, I didn't think it was her. Blair. Anyway,

so, yeah, for Dorota to then test her, I thought

was weird. the other thing. Why can't you have a

bouquet of peonies and carnations? Why can't both

fly? Why can't you? Isn't marriage all about

melding traditions together? Why can't you have a

bunch of.

Also, why the fuck does it even matter? Yeah, Let

the bride decide.

Yeah.

Plot, plot, we switch back to Chuck, Sarita, and

Nate celebrating on the yacht. And Sarita also

mentions going sober over the summer. The show

really stretching, though. Which one is this is

pregnant as far as it can possibly go.

Yeah, because they hand the. They go to hand the

champagne to her as well, and she's like, oh, no,

no, I'm sober in Cal. California sober.

Yeah, well, she said LA lifestyle, which is that

the same thing as California? It's funny because,

like means smoking lots of weed.

Yeah, smoking weed and not drinking.

Not drinking and not doing hard drugs. But you're

still smoking lots of weed. Yeah, lots of weed and

gummies and all that good stuff. But yes, they're

really stretching this. Which one is pregnant as

far.

And then this is the Gossip World blast, which is

kind of red over both the last two scenes due to a

reader's dumpster dive outside a well known fifth

Avenue pre war. It appears someone we know and

love is in the family way. So this is your humble

Gossip Girl issuing an APPB who could the mother

of our next scandal be? Now, this makes me wonder.

I. I've always been calling this an apartment. Is

this. Do they own the whole building? Is this a

townhouse?

The. The Waldorfs? I always thought it was a

penthouse.

That's right. I've always called an apartment.

Yeah, but are there no other people in this

building? Because it's outside. and which one of

the Gossip Girl type readers is diving in?

Dumpsters. Yeah,

and then also, Blair calls down later for a cab.

She's like, call down For a cab, which implies a

doorman.

Right. There's an elevator to get into the

apartment, which you wouldn't have at a townhouse.

Right.

So again, I'm confused.

Yeah. Well, yeah. It's always been the assumption

that they are in. In a townhouse or penthouse or

something like that. So the fact that there. That

there would be hundreds of other people. What?

Not a townhouse.

Not a townhouse. But. Yeah. Right, right. But

like, like a condo is what I was meant to say.

We move into Act 2. Blair calls Serena to complete

complain about Louis and Sophie, and we learned

that they have managed to keep a regular contact

over the summer.

Yeah. Adorable. I love that they talked all summer

long. Yeah, it was great.

But also very contrasting to the fact that Blair

and Dan did not talk at all.

Yes. Despite having plans to.

Yes.

They did not.

Weird.

Yeah.

Dorota asked Blair if she has seen Gossip Girl

recently, and. But Blair doesn't have time for

Dorota as she gets a text from Louis.

Yeah. And we have the setup here that we see

Dorota getting ready to confess. So.

Yeah. Chuck and Serena are meeting with Marshall

and stunt corner performer Ally, and Chuck goes

with Ally to check out the setup of the big stunt

they are working on. Nate notes that Marshall is a

douchebag before Serena shoves him off to a PA to

take him to an audition.

First of all, he's Chuck Bass was just fucking

perfect. We both lost it when they're like, who

are you? He's Chuck Bass. It was. I loved it. It

was so good. and then the rest of it, of course,

is being the setup for Nate going in one direction

and Chuck going in the other. and also really

setting up the marshals.

Yeah.

he's. Yeah, he is as big a. As he is a terrible

actor. Like, he. He has cameo.

Nepo, baby.

Cameo level charisma. Who's.

Who.

Who is he?

We told. I told you the last. Last season. He's

Gregory Peck's grandson.

Oh, right, right, right. He's terrible.

He does have a great voice, though. I'll give him

that. Very smooth, deep voice.

Yeah. Terrible delivery.

Dan, while on the phone with Epperly trying to get

more info, returns to the loft with Rufus and

finds the manuscript missing. Gabriella also

failed to return Rufus's calls, just showing us

once again that Vanessa doesn't fall far from the

asshole tree. Dan learns from Epperly that Vanity

Fair's grading creed, loves the story, but Dan

thinks it's only because it's about a celebrity

Blair Waldorf, future Princess of Monaco. Dan is

going to go get help from the only person who can

help him.

Yeah, the only person who can help him.

Did you thank Louis right away?

no.

Even though the show tips it off by immediately

showing Louis face.

Right. So they show him immediately afterwards,

which to me, actually threw me off further because

it was like, okay, they're just cutting. He's not

going right to him.

M. So who did you think it was going to be?

Oh, I thought it was going to be Gossip Girl.

Okay.

I. I thought that he was going that. That she was

going to somehow do.

But why would he need to get up and go to her?

Does he know who Gossip Girl is, you think?

No, but the writers on this show sometimes will do

something like that, like, oh, I better go talk to

her. And then.

But to me, if it was Gossip Girl, he would have

tried it.

Yeah. Yeah.

Any other thoughts it could have been?

Yeah, not really, because I just. I. Because I.

Because no one else is in town, really, so, yeah,

I did.

So I figured it was someone just else altogether,

like a nub. Bring back another cameo. Because to

me, the idea of going to Louis was the dumbest

thing. Like, why would he be the one that. Like.

Because he's royal.

He's not royal here, pally. Worked the.

Yeah, but it worked. Well, of course it did. Ah,

of fucking course it did.

Louis knocks on Blair's bedroom door, and she

assumes he is here to apologize, but he is only

there to deliver the royal wedding gown. When

Blair demands to know Louis will stand up for her,

he suddenly grows a backbone and tells Blair to be

ready at six. He is about to break the rules and

bring her to the general assembly tonight.

So there are no real rules here? Like, you're just

bringing her. Like, you could have done that from

the start. Hey, you know what? I've got this thing

tonight, but I'm not supposed to bring you, but

I'm going to because I want to. You just gatekeep

this shit just to make sure she knows she's not

married to you yet.

Also, I'm kind of judging Louis here because he

should be against her wearing this dress as much

as Blair. yeah, I get the notion of wanting to

wear your mother's wedding dress at your wedding.

Yeah, but wanting your bride to wear your mother's

dress?

Yeah, Little weird. Weird. Super weird. Super

weird. No, I want you to wear the dress I was

conceived in.

We meet Serena's boss, Jane, who is very impressed

with her work on the movie. So Far. But also

advises her to be more assertive and not afraid to

push Marshall. Jane offers her more

responsibility. To which Serena says yes.

Yeah. Got to meet Serena's like boss's supervisor.

Which is a cool dynamic to introduce.

New mentor figure for Serena. Yeah.

And it's not a dude. Yeah. And yeah. So hopefully

won't try to sleep with her along the way. Of

course I'm sure Marshall's going to try to sleep

with her at some point. But And she's going to

sleep with him because that's.

Well, I mean Marshall is only working on the

movie. He, she, he doesn't necessarily work for

the company.

Oh, that's true. I felt like they were trying to

set this up like a love interest for Serena.

I think they kind of had that thought. But then I

think they also realized that he sucks.

He's terrible. Like you can't like he's, he is

worse than Gabriel. And I feel like Armie Hammer

has been acting wise the worst love interest, Ben.

I felt like Ben was written worse than he acted.

Like I can't really fault everything on that

actor.

That character is all over the place.

Yeah, yeah. Because like he did the best he could

with what he had. but like this guy is a fucking

wet rock.

Chuck, against protocol, does the big stunt. Ally

runs up and tells him he's about to be in big

trouble. But his cavalier attitude and rogish

charm win him a date instead.

Yeah.

Chuck was very Han Solo in this episode.

Yeah, yeah. Right down to like the, the jacket.

The jacket, yeah. Chuck.

Yeah.

But we move into Act 3. Nate is helping Serena

knock off items on her to do list, including

scoring some medical marijuana. Nate is worn out

at 20 and needs to reinvent himself. Serena

suggests he start at the party they are on their

way to right now.

I kinda hated this dialogue where she's like, what

do you need it for anyway? You're just on a yacht.

They smoke weed all the fucking time. Sir. You

smoke weed Sometimes. Serena.

Serena is very anti illegal drugs in this episode.

Yeah, yeah. And like he got his medical card in

California because anyone that went to California

to stay there for a while got their medical card

if they smoked weed. Like why are you judging Nate

for having his medical card? He got to go and

legally buy weed. And what's really funny is, are

they 21 yet? Because he would have to be 21 to get

well, I guess. You know what, you don't have to be

21 to get your card. If you have certain

documentation which he could afford.

They're probably both 20 at this point.

That's what I was thinking.

The strains sounded kind of interesting.

Yeah. Yeah.

The only one that sounded like a real one was

Blueberry Headband. But that sounds like a crazy

hybrid.

Yeah, I was going to say Headband is like both

Blueberry and Ed Band, so it would be.

Yeah, but Blueberry is typically an indica, and

Headband is a sativa, so. Like an old school

sativa strand.

Yeah, yeah, Right. And so it really would be like

your true hybrid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Because Blueberry is a knockout punch, and

Headband is just, like, locked in.

Blair comes downstairs wearing another fabulous

Oscar Delarata gown with Dota holding the train.

Eleanor says she looks lovely, but testing a man

is a mistake.

I mean, I agree with that.

Yeah. Stupid games and tests are stupid.

Yep. Yep. This is. You said this is Dorota and

Eleanor and Blair, right? Yeah, And Eleanor, when

Blair walks off, and Eleanor is like, how. Where

does she get it from? M. And Dorota gives her,

like. Rolls her eyes and walks away. But the best

is that she does it in front of Eleanor, who

catches the look and is like. Whose face says,

shut the fuck up, Dorota. Who pays your checks?

Dorota. it was just, again, one of those fucking

classic the acting of Dorota and the acting of

Margaret Collins.

Dan finds Louis and convinces him to skip his

event with Blair to kill the story about Blair.

Yeah, you're the only one I could think of. Can

you use your royal connections to kill this story?

I suppose so.

Now, why couldn't Dan just go to the Vanity Fair

and be like, this is mine. You may not publish it.

I'm the author. It's no longer anonymous. You

don't have my permission.

Yeah, that would have been the smart thing.

Although, how does he prove it? Because he doesn't

have the manuscript anymore.

Oh, yeah, Vanessa. What a dickhead. Well, and tell

me you wrote that on a typewriter, Dan.

I'm sure he did, because he's a

fucking, pretentious prick. It was in fucking

courier type font, if I remember correctly.

What A.

Chuck is drinking with Allie on his yacht, and

they are about to head to the party. Allie

suggests taking her truck, as motorcycles can be

sketchy on Mulholland Drive. Chuck, agrees at

first, but then discovers the poorly hidden

invitation and decides instead to live

dangerously. In the scene, we also learn the movie

star Serena's ex boyfriend, Patrick Robertson has

to stay sober or the movie gets shuts down.

Yes, yeah, we have that little tidbit thrown in

here. a good way to set up the later stuff when he

just decides for one. I'm like, so you have two

bikes now? You're going to ride your bike? But

she's like, no, I have my truck. Okay. But then

there's two bikes on this yacht for you guys to.

To ride. I also like to live dangerously.

I do like the continuity of using Patrick

Robertson at the star of the movie, though.

Yeah, yeah.

Gossip Girl has this quip as we go to the Break

sticks and stones may just break bones, but the

wounds from words never heal. Especially when the

words we hoped we'd never read.

Yeah, that one. Come on, Gossip Girl. You can do

better.

We move into Act 4. Nate and Serena show up at the

party and tell Marshall that Serena completed the

whole list except for delivering Patrick Roberts

to the marijuana she procured. Serena hands

Marshall back the tablet with the list, and then

he deletes the item about the weed. After, Serena

walks away to find Patrick.

Yeah, shady dickhead doing shady stuff.

As they stroll through the party, Serena tells

Nate once again that he has the perfect

opportunity to reinvent himself. He does so by

employing Chuck's philosophy. When a trio of women

approach Nate, assuming he's a celebrity, he also

says yes. When asked if this is his house, an

older woman, played by Liz Hurley, walks up and

shoves the younger woman aside so Nate can take

her on a private tour of the house.

I really liked Nate in this scene when they're

like, are you that guy from the thing? And he's

like, yes, and not technically a lie.

Yeah, yeah, he is a guy from.

He is a guy from a thing. So, yeah, it was. It was

just funny, like, his whole leaning into this

thing, and then this older woman comes up, which

is Nate's kryptonite, and it's like, oh, boy, he's

done. And of course, she walks up and asks for the

tour, and it's like, this is her house. Yeah, this

is obviously her house.

Yep.

Nate, you dumb sweet boy.

Serena finds Patrick and gives him the marijuana.

He is surprised and delighted when he heard

production okayed it.

And she's like, yeah, yeah.

I'm confused why Serena, who's been working on

this movie all summer in production, doesn't know

this big thing?

Yeah.

Why is this minder following around Patrick all

the time? That doesn't really make sense.

No, none.

Except for Serena's an idiot.

Well, which. That has been established canon for

quite

some time, but it's also been established here

that she's been working hard now.

Yeah. Yeah, working harder, not smarter.

But we know that Serena is smart when she tries.

Yeah. Yes, we do.

An, already late Louis calls Blair and lets her

know that something has come up and he won't make

it to the gala. When he says he can't elaborate,

Blair hangs up and removes the necklace Louis gave

her, then tells Dorota to call down for a cab.

Now, did you predict where she was going to go to?

I'll be honest. I don't remember if I predicted it

or if I just knew it the second time, But I did

get the sense there's only one person here.

There's only one person in New York right now to

go to.

Nate is giving the mysterious woman a tour of his

house by continuing to say yes to everything. This

leads to her inviting him into the bedroom for

presumably wild sex. Nate does the double fist

pump.

I love when she's pointing out the art, and she's

like, oh, is this so and so? Yes. Or is it this

person?

Yes. How did you know?

It's just. It's so great. Cause it's so classic

Nate to just take that directive so literally that

when you are caught in a lie, you just double

down. Yep. We're not here to improv. We're here to

say yes.

Serena is talking to the musicians scoring the

movie, but becomes distracted when she sees

Marshall and a woman from the insurance company

holding the container of weed and arguing. She

goes over and quickly realizes that Marshall set

her up.

I was kind of wondering if that was a cameo.

It was.

It was.

that was the indie pop duo Jenny and Johnny, Jenny

Lewis and Jonathan Rice. And their song is

actually featured in the episode in the scene

where Nate goes back to get his phone.

Oh, that's cool. Have they done other scores?

No idea. Yeah. Serena quickly figures out that

Marshall.

Yeah, that Marshall set her up. Yeah, that

Marshall set her up. And is this where she calls

him on it?

No.

Okay.

She gets a look to the camera like, oh. GT rises.

Whack. Yeah.

Dan is surprised to see Blair in her beautiful

gown show up at the loft after not having talked

all summer. Blair says she is ending her

engagement. She says she needs to get out of the

city, and can he take her to the Hamptons? A

flabbergasted Dan says they can take Rufus car,

but fails to tell her the reason Louis blew her

off. However, just then, Louie appears in the

still open door. Dan hangs his head because he

knows he's busted.

Here's the Thing where I kind of wasn't entirely

mad at Dan.

He got caught up in the moment.

He got caught up in the moment. And she didn't

lead with Louis, blew me off tonight. She led with

all of these other problems with him and his mom.

Right. So like when she came in and said to Dan, I

have to leave Louie, it didn't, it wasn't

immediately. He didn't show up tonight.

I thought she did mention it as one of the things.

It's one of the things, yeah. But Dan is hearing

this list of here are all the reasons I have to

break up with this guy. And sure, one of them I

had to do with, but that's one issue among many.

So I feel like, me, a 20 year old me, that the

person that I am currently in love with comes in

and says all of these things, starting with I need

to break up with Louie, his mom, blah, blah, blah.

I'm tuning out the other stuff, like, yeah, he's

not here because he's doing something for me. But

that's not the first thing she mentioned. And I'm

tuning out and I'm focusing on the things that I

want to hear. And I'm not saying that that's the

right thing to do. I'm not excusing Dan.

I'm saying I think everyone gets why he did it.

It's still a live omission and he's still fucked

up. And he realized.

Yeah, yeah. And he realizes it right away, as

usual. Yeah.

But it was a very well shot. I really love the way

the scene was shot.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was just so good in

it too. Like her, her pleading with him and her.

Yeah, I love that scene.

Chuck and Allie are riding their bikes down the

curvy streets back in the hills of la. Chuck is

driving like a maniac and Allie calls him to pull

over and tells him to take it easy. Chuck isn't

scared of anything though and presses on

momentarily before dropping his bike and sliding

across the concrete, like immediately.

Lady, I'm fine. I'm not afraid of anything.

Dumbass. Yet another opportunity to kill off

Chuck.

Yeah, but Gossip Real has this to say about it.

Often all it takes to find a new pass is to make a

sharp turn and see what you find. But beware,

sometimes what you're faced with is a dead end.

We move into Act 5. Allie pulls up to Chuck, who

seems a bit shaken up but otherwise unharmed. He

says he could use a scotch. She tells him that he

has an addiction to danger and it's going to get

him seriously injured. She apparently isn't

sticking around because she ends the date right

then and there and hopes he'll get some therapy.

Don't we all? Although Chuck getting therapy would

do very little good because a sociopath can just

fake their way through therapy.

Yeah, she definitely notices all the red flags

with Chuck and just. She walks away.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, a lot of people

are thrill seekers, but some people are out here

to fucking kill themselves, and I'm not here for

it.

And did you. Did you catch Chuck's misogyny in

this scene?

I just kind of expect him to be misogynist at all

times as there's. I didn't. I don't know if I

caught something.

So he made two suggestions for getting continuing,

on to the party. They could either walk, or he

could drive her bike with her on the back, right?

Yeah.

Not. She could drive him.

Yeah. Not the stunt coordinator that does this

shit for a living. I. There's a part of me that

wonders if she did the fall. I think it would have

been awesome if behind the scenes, she dressed

like Chuck, did the actual stunt.

Yeah, wouldn't, surprise me.

Yeah, that would be really fun.

Nate and the woman are getting dressed post sex.

We find out that she is the actual owner of the

house. And this is the smallest guest room, not

the master. She declines to share her name.

You have to go now. well, this is my house. Oh,

poor sweet Nate. Actually, it's my house. And this

is my smallest bedroom.

Outside, Serena and Marshall are arguing over who

needs the job more. And he claims he never thought

Serena would be able to buy weed in California for

some reason.

Who would possibly be able to land their hands on

weed in the state with the most weed?

But his guilt trip works because when Serena spots

Marilyn. Look, still looking for Patrick. She

admits she is the one who got the pot for Pat. She

says to pass on her resignation to Jane.

Yeah, Serena, fuck this guy. This guy just almost

got. Just almost got the whole fucking shit shut

down. And just classic Serena. Oh, he said he's

sorry.

Okay, well, I think the line about him actually

needing a job more got to her. Yeah, because it is

technically true. But still fuck him.

But still fuck him. Then he shouldn't be putting

PAs up to do shit that'll get the whole thing shut

down.

Yeah, exactly like, yeah, you need this job.

Well, find another fucking job on another set

because you fucked this one up. Like, what an

idiot.

Blair is about to break up with Louie, but is

stopped By Dan. As usual, when Dan screws up,

he'll eventually own up to it and try to right the

wrong. Blair asks what possible reason he would

have to lie to her, but Dan just stares back with

puppy dog eyes.

And Gossip Girl has. Because I think that that's.

That one really ties in here.

Yeah. As the scene ends, we get lonely boy

learning three words. Eight letters don't come out

right when no one wants to hear them.

I thought that worked so well. The look on his

face and like, why would you do that? And it's

like.

And using the Chuck and Blair.

Yeah. Using their classic.

But also, if I was writing this show and I wanted

to set up a Caesar premiere and season finale

parallel, maybe in the season finale, she might be

ready to hear those words.

Yeah.

Maybe not especially from Dan, but from someone.

Yeah. And I don't think we've heard Louis say it

either, have we?

I feel like we must have, but

ultimately, yeah, I liked how that tied back with

the words Blair wants to hear and Dan not being

able to say it. And obviously because I, think if

Louis's not there, he says it.

But that would have been a mistake.

Yeah. Yeah, but I think he would have.

We move into the epilogue. Back on the yacht, Nate

and Serena are lounging while being given sage

advice from Chuck. The scene ends with a group

hug.

Yeah, that was cute. And too much, too much when

they were hugging him. too much, too much.

No touching.

Yeah. Yes, I know your names.

Blair is in her bathroom when Eleanor confronts

her with a copy of what you to expect when and

you're expecting that she found in the pantry.

Before Blair can respond, Dorota rushes in to

confess that she is pregnant with baby number two.

Doroth is excited that Gossip Girl talked about

her, and all three hug in celebration.

That was my favorite part was Dorota being like,

gossip Girl talked about me.

But yeah. So two things. So, again, why would.

Again, why. Why Dorota think Blair was pregnant?

Because she obviously knew she was pregnant.

Right. Also, why is Dorota leaving her book in

Blair's room?

No, no, that's my second what if? Why would

Eleanor think Blair left the book in the pantry?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Does Blair know where the pantry

is? Has Blair ever been into her own pantry?

The mysterious woman is on the phone with someone,

talking about how she already made contact with

Nate, which she didn't expect to do until she

arrived in New York. As, she hangs up, Nate shows

up to retrieve the cell phone that he left at the

Party. Nate apologizes for lying. They part on

good terms, but Nate still doesn't get that name.

I was so annoyed with this. I was so annoyed

because it means we're gonna have another stupid

Nate get scammed storyline.

Well, who do you think was on the phone?

My one thought was grandfather. it could have been

grandfather, but if not, it could have been the

Buckleys if we're gonna bring that shit back

again.

it seems like the grandfather is safe bets. I

don't know if anyone else actually cares enough

about Nate.

Right. Yeah, well, I. I. My only other thing is

that, people care enough about grandfather to scam

Nate to get. So my thought was either it was

grandfather or it was someone who's trying to get,

Like Trip or someone trying to get closer to

grandfather.

But Nate, as we know, Nate, has been kind of

broken off from the family since season three.

Since the whole thing with Trip and Serena. Yeah.

Yeah.

So he hasn't really been in communication with the

grandfather.

Yeah. So, yeah, it makes sense for grandfather

to be trying to weasel his way back in there.

You know, I know how to get him back. Sexy older

woman. I'll find a sexy older woman to seduce him.

But was that the plan?

I mean, I feel like it was at least part of it

because she recognized Nate right away and banged

him.

But we know from that conversation the plan wasn't

to meet him until New York.

Until New York. But, you know, she just sped the.

Sped the honey pot up a bit.

Serena has cleaned out her stuff but is stopped

from leaving by Jane. Jane says she still

appreciates Serena's work ethic and offers a more

permanent job working directly with Jane's

production company.

Good job, Serena. Yeah, and it's also funny that.

And I guess it's a very TV thing, the assumption

of getting fired or just like, oh, I'm going to

resign now because I got caught doing something

bad instead of just owning up to it and letting

your boss decide. Yeah, just the assumption of I'm

fired. I'm fired for giving someone drugs in

California. Like, really? No, just don't do that.

Presumably, Serena does have classes starting in a

week or two, so. Well, yeah.

Yeah. Well, I mean, but I just kind of. I also was

wondering if she was just ready to, like, why

continue college if you have this job? Sort of.

Like, why was Blair continuing college when she

was the editor of a fucking magazine?

Well, again, so back in season three, when

Serena's talking about dropping out the first time

Chuck mentions, why would you know people like you

and Me need degrees. Yeah, but she says it's an

accessory my mom really wants me to have.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. True.

She still does care a little bit about what Lily

thinks. Yeah.

Yeah.

Rufus shows up the loft complaining about Lily

going stir crazy under house arrest. He

compliments Dan on his writing, but is confused

about the end of the story with Blair and what

really happened versus artistic license. Rufus is

also shocked to learn there's a whole book. Dan

hopes, Vanessa only leaked the one chapter and

this is the end of it, but opens a $10,000 check

from Barcelona and a note that reads, congrats on

your first novel.

You're such a fucking asshole. But also now, of

course, Dan's gonna see this money and be like,

oh, but it's also like, Dan, you don't need money.

You have fucking Cece money. You have fucking

Vander Woodson money.

It's not the same as having your own money,

though.

Right?

Especially for a person like Dan.

Right. I know.

But also inferior to these people.

Right? Yes. But he always wanted to be. Be one of

them.

We now know Chuck and Nate are

waiting for Serena outside the set to go back to

New York City when Serena comes out to announce

she won't be coming because Jane offered her a job

this time. When Chuck offers the celebratory

drink, Serena gladly accepts. Chuck accidentally

showers himself with champagne and excuses himself

to go clean up.

Is this the. Wait, this isn't on the back of the

yacht. Did they go back?

No, this is at the movie set.

At the movie set. But is this where she says, you

should write a book?

I think that's back on the yacht.

Oh, okay. Yeah. People like me don't write books.

We have them written about us.

Chuck is alone in the dressing room and pulls up

his shirt to reveal a huge bruise from the

motorcycle crash. When Chuck touches the

discoloration, he feels no pain.

Yeah.

What.

What do you. What is happening here? First of all,

he was in an accident. He's going to be sore. And

now, you're telling me this is the first time he's

had his shirt off? I guess it was right at the

party. Right.

He's literally not feeling. This is like a day

later.

That's what I was thinking. That, like, a day

later. How are you not feeling.

He is not feeling anything.

Yeah.

And that. That will be expanded on the next

episode.

Okay.

He is literally feeling nothing.

It's a metaphor. No, no, but that really happened.

Blair is being dressed in Sophie's wedding dress

for the Vogue Paris photo shoot. Louis finally

stands up to his mother and tells her that Blair

will be photographed with peonies. Eleanor, Louis

and Sophie walk away, and the mystical seamstress

reveals Blair is pregnant based on a tiny amount

of growth from her previous measurements.

Yeah, yeah. Could be fucking water weight. Like,

are you.

Yeah, someone that's tiny. Like one or two paths

is going to make. Like, it's going to be like a

notable difference.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Yeah. It's just rude in general, right?

Yes. And just rude. you'd never tell a woman she's

pregnant. Like, it's bad enough to ask a woman,

but to be like, nah, girl.

And the final scene of the episode, we see Ivy

celebrating a one month anniversary of her move

with her boyfriend. It looks like they both work

at a restaurant. Ivy goes off to start waiting

tables, but is spotted by Serena, who calls out

for Charlie. Ivy deftly drops the apron she was

holding and kicks it under the bar. As she falls

back into the Charlie roll, Serena hugs Ivy, who

plays it off as weird when the manager walks by

and tells Ivy to get to work.

I loved Ivy in this scene. I loved the. That was

weird.

Just played it so well.

Just like, let's get out of here. I fucking loved

that. I thought she was fantastic.

Yeah. And, then this was Gossip Girl's final

monologue of the episode. Well, well, well, Upper,

East Siders. I got my answer after all. And it

turns out the only thing expanding at the Waldorf

residence is the help. Yet all this talk about

expecting has got me thinking about expectations.

The thing about expectations is that most of the

time, someone else sets them for you, yet you feel

they've been there all along and you can't wait to

live up to them. But just because you know what's

expected of you doesn't mean you still can't

surprise everyone. Nothing stays hidden for long,

and you often find what you least expect is right

in front of you, waiting to change everything

forever, whether you want it to or not. XOXO

Gossip Girl.

That is our episode. What is coming next?

There is going to be. Let's take it m. Step by

step, Dan and Blair. There's going to be tension,

but there's going to be some kind of greater

fallout with Louis and Blair that's going to send

her back to Dan eventually. I feel like the Louis

thing just. She's has a foot out the door at every

moment. Right.

Do you wish to revise your Louis timeline at this

point? Because you've thought it was.

I thought he was going to be Gone by now. So

wedding is in November, and I. One thing I have

said all along is that we'll get a wedding, not a

marriage. So I'm thinking that Louie's here

probably until November. I really do believe that

we will get closer. Although we got Blair in a

wedding dress in this episode, and I think that's

really what they're looking for, but I don't. We

haven't had the re. Like a reveal of Blair in a

wedding dress. I think that that's what they're

going for. So if they do some other kind of dress

thing before November, then maybe Louie's on his

way out. But I feel like. Lou, I feel like before

the wedding,

I think it was. In our last episode, we talked

about a certain episode that's going to come up

around mid season.

A certain episode is going to come up around mid

season. I'm not sure.

Any other predictions?

I'm predicting. So Serena can't stay in California

for long, and I'm really feeling like she's out

there living with Cece. So I feel like something

with Cece has to be the catalyst to send her home.

That's. That's in my gut. I'm worried about Cece.

We should. We should be worried about Cece. I. Oh,

man. Just kill Chuck.

Just kill him. Although I actually like Chuck

himself. He's fine. Yeah. If he ignore all his

past actions.

Right, Right. But I'm. But how long before he

starts being Chuck again? So I'm just. You have an

opportunity here. You missed the last one. Nate is

going to get played by his family again. this time

involving an older woman. Honeypot. We're going to

have. We do. I said Blair and Dan have to get

together at some point. Man, now I wish I could

remember what we talked about last week.

Let's. Let's talk about this pregnancy timeline a

little bit.

Okay, so.

So if we're taking this mystical m. Seamstress

word, that is she is six weeks pregnant, which I

assume we're supposed to.

Which we're supposed to.

Because she's magic.

It's Gossip Girl magic. Yes.

so we know the check from Chuck and Blair that

they slept together on May 7 from the check at the

bar mitzvah. So that happened on May 7th. And then

all. All this episode, we talked about the time

pass between the finale and the. And now as being

all summer.

Right.

Which is kind of vague, but. Well, it's got to be

at least, like, two months. But.

But here. Well, very specifically, we have May

7th. And then we have three weeks later.

Yeah.

So we know that there's three weeks right there

and then. So at least another.

Yeah. Which explains also the end of the semester,

because that's the semester probably added, like,

mid to late May.

Yeah. Yeah. And then, so that would put us. But

that would essentially put us into June.

Yeah.

So we could assume that after June, probably

another 12 weeks, like the rest of June, July,

August, school starts back up, usually the end of

August. But we're.

There's usually a few episodes before school

starts.

There's usually a few episodes before school

starts. I feel like we're supposed to believe that

their college starts in September, that they start

post Labor Day. So post Labor Day, we're looking

at 12, 13, 14, 12, 15, 16.

So we're not there yet. But six weeks. Plus three

weeks, though. I mean, minus three weeks,

actually. So there. That would make your summer

only three weeks.

Yeah.

For it to be Chuck's baby, because he's only six

weeks pregnant and they had three weeks before the

end of the season.

Oh, did she say six weeks specifically to her?

Yeah.

Okay, so that had to be Louie. That couldn't be

Chuck if it's six weeks.

Yeah, if that's. If that's correct.

Right.

But I don't think that's what they're gonna go

with. I think they're gonna try and make us think

it's.

Yeah.

Shot shocks.

All right, any other predictions before we go out

to segments?

M.

It was a significant episode that's going to come

up in season five, right around mid season. We

talked about.

It's the wedding. I keep talking about the

wedding. Significant episode in season five. I

mean, we've talked about Lily

having a baby, but a specific number episode that

would be great for a big event.

So I'm assuming episode 11 is one of the big ones,

which we've also discussed earlier today. Is

terrible.

Okay. Yes. You know or never.

Yeah, I'm. I'm.

Let's get it to segments.

All right.

Hello there, Peabody here. And this is the Wayback

Machine for traveling through time.

And this is my boy, Sherman. Speak chairman.

Hello. Good boy.

This week in Fanda, we jumped into the Wayback

Machine to visit the Television without pity

forums from 2011. Their overall peer pressure that

this was a good premiere.

It was all right.

Set some things up.

Yeah.

Well directed.

Yeah.

Had some good lines.

Yeah. Yeah. Had some. Really. Had some laugh out

loud lines. Yeah.

Some of the story lines were kind of nonsense,

but. Yeah.

Yeah. But we're. We're here now.

Yeah. For some reason they seem happy about Blair

being pregnant.

It's that shark did not need to get jumped. No.

So you don't think they're going to get married?

You think she will have the b. The baby?

I don't. I don't think she's going to have a baby.

I can't imagine one of the non judging Breakfast

club having a baby. I could. Let me rephrase that.

I could imagine there being a storyline where Nate

or Chuck had a baby that is like a storyline for

several episodes and then they never take care of

that kid again. And they're never meant m like

Scott, that kid.

Dare fans are still going strong but a lot of

chair fans are back in the mix and excited for

baby Bass.

Oh no, no. Fucking God no.

They liked the Chuck, Serena, Nate scenes in la.

Yeah, they were great. They were one of the things

I loved about those scenes. They were just friends

that there wasn't scheming or flirting or any of

that. They were just being good friends to each

other.

They were really happy with Serena's story for the

first time in a while.

Yeah, she had a good story.

Yeah. Two back to back episodes. Good for Serena.

Yeah. Where she wasn't. Yeah. Where she wasn't

doing stupid, petty, dumb. She was really good and

not falling

for the wrong guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If anything, she g let the wrong

guy off the hook. But which to me was like, oh,

they're going to date when. When that happened,

I'll have to double check.

But I think this is the last time we see him.

Actually.

I think he's gone. Thankfully.

I'm okay with that.

Yeah, Dan is playing dirty. He. He is really on

the inside now.

Yeah, I mean I don't think he was that dirty. Like

I said, I think he got caught up and heard all the

things he wanted to hear and ignored the thing he

didn't want to hear. Like I'm not mad at Dan. It

was shitty, but I'm not mad at him.

I'm kind of mad. I. I understand where, where he's

coming from but I've mad at him a little bit.

That's fair.

And finally the fans wish the CW would release an

inside as an actual book they could buy.

Yeah, I agree. But then we'd all have to face the

fact that Dan is not as good of a writer as they

think they want us to pretend he is.

Well, they could actually hire someone to go.

Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Instead of like an Intern to write from the Prof.

Department.

Right, Right.

That is it for this week in fandom.

on to episode grades. Cheer week to go first. What

do you got?

Solid season premiere. Felt very much in line with

a lot of it. Good laugh out loud lines. The dumb

stuff didn't bother me too much. I'm going to go A

solid B.

Yeah, like you said, good lines. I thought the

directing was pretty good. The acting was good for

the most part, except for, Excuse me, Marshall.

Jane was also a little weak on the acting side.

Yeah.

But yeah, B.

Moving over to Stockwatch, who do you got going

up?

I'm going to start with the California crew. I'm

going to send Serena and Chuck. Both are going up

for having good episodes. I'm going to give Doda

and up. Congratulations. Mazel tov on the new

baby. I am going to give Louie and up because he

did the thing for Dan and saved the day for Dan

and got the girl. And I'm going to give. I'm going

to give it to Blair too, for I'm on the fence with

Blair because I don't think that she. I'm not

going to give it to Blair. I feel like she kind of

won out on some things, but I think she's more

neutral in this.

So

I'm trying to think if there's anyone else that I

want to give it to, but I can't really think of

anyone.

Okay.

Oh, actually, yeah, the. I can't remember her

name, but Elizabeth Harley's character. Forgetting

one.

She was unnamed. But I will spoil it now because

we're going to learn next episode. It's Diana

Payne.

Okay, so Diana Payne goes up for successfully

honey potting Nate.

For me, I had Serena going up because she, like I

said, she had a positive episode. Looks career

focused instead of boy focused for once. So good,

for her, Louie, because, yeah, he stopped the

story and he stood up to it. Took him a little

while, but he did eventually stand up to his mom.

And I did give Blair the up because, yeah, she got

what she stated she wanted.

Yeah. Yeah.

And, I'm not letting my shipping judge my grading.

Ouch. Okay, you can give Blair up for me. Got to

make a personal leap.

It's fine to make it personal. I'm just not. I had

Nate going up because even though it's clearly a

scam, he had a good time this episode. I mean, for

this episode, he went out.

I was really on the fence about that. And I think

I'm going to give him the up too. Just Because I

know that he's about to suffer. Because I really

was on the fence with Nate because he got played,

but he doesn't know. And that's really where

Nate's at his happiest.

He got laid.

Yeah. Nate having sex and not knowing he's being

played is.

I also had Jane going up because she seems like

she's going to be a good mentor for Serena.

Oh, okay.

I did have Diana Payne going up as well. I had

Jenny going up for being happy and being mentioned

at a fashion school.

Yeah, go ahead and give Jenny an up for me, too,

for that. I forgot about her.

I had Jeremiah Harris going up because he got some

good burns in on Dan. I had Ally going up for

immediately recognizing the red flags and walking

away from Chuck.

Yep. Yep.

And, I added to rota because, yeah, she. She got

baby. She's pregnant with baby number two. So.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

Who do you have going down?

Dan lost out on everything. She, was mentioned.

Vanessa, you fucking asshole. For all of this. I,

also I'm going to give Rufus a down because it

sounds like Lily's driving him crazy with the real

house. Real house arrests.

But luckily he has another house he can just go

to.

Yeah, he can just go to his son. Oh, Marshall goes

down. Oh, also, I can't remember his name, but the

actor, Pat Patterson. Patrick Robertson. Patrick

Robertson because he can't smoke weed. So. Oh, and

then also the production assistant that was the

narc for being a narc. The one that wouldn't let

him smoke weed. The production.

Yeah, she was. She was from the insurance company.

Right, right. The person from the insurance

company who wouldn't let him smoke weed. Narc.

She's still a narc. I don't care where she's from.

She's still a narc.

Okay, so that's it.

Yep.

All, right for me. You had him going up. I had him

m. Go down. Chuck, because he. He is clearly going

through some shit.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

He literally can't feel pain.

Yeah.

I had Dan going down because he screwed up.

Marshall, going down because he's a dick. Vanessa,

because she's a dick and was mentioned.

Yep.

And then also the seamstress because she was very.

Just very rude.

Yeah. Fair.

That is it for my downs, though.

But here's the best outfits from the last episode

we seen

on to best outfit. Who did you have?

I liked Blair's. The white and green dress that

she wore was going to wear to the gala that she

wore to Dan's at The end. I like that.

Yeah, that was the obvious choice, the Oscar de la

Renta.

Yeah, the wedding dress was beautiful but it was

just creepy because that was your mother in law's

dress.

I also like Chuck's outfits this episode too.

Chuck had great outfits this episode.

Rocking the ascot again.

Yeah, yeah. Back to his. Yeah. Fred from Scooby

Doo out of

the fucking business suits.

Yeah, yeah. Casual. Chuck wears ascots and leather

jackets.

Yes.

He is a fucking Ken doll.

That is it.

For segments though, do you have anything you

would like to plug?

I don't have anything at the moment that I am

looking to plug. you can however follow my TikTok

or Instagrameve marshon M A R C H I O n and go

ahead and give me a follow there.

Same for me. And nothing to plug this week but you

can follow my socials. I'm on Instagram bluesky

hotcapicola hot C A P I C O L A and you can follow

the podcast on Instagram, TikTok and Threads at

nonjudging breakfast pod. And if you want links to

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table talk the next time you see your friends.

And we will be back next week to discuss Season 5

Episode 2 Beauty and the Feast. The episode

description reads, Nate reconnects unexpectedly

with Diana, who offers him an exciting

opportunity. Serena forces Charlie to decide which

world she wants to embrace. Dan seeks out Chuck's

help to stop the publication of his book, but

discovers it is Chuck who needs the help. Blair's

future sister in law, Beatrice, arrives for

Monaco.

Oh boy.

Another royal fouling member.

Another royal.

But I think the big spoiler there is we get,

Another Chuck and Dan team up.

Yeah.

Which is always fun.

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm excited about that.

Until next time. You know you love us.

XOXO Every time you walk away, run

away you take a piece of me with you there Every

time you walk away run away you take a piece of me

me with you there Every time you walk away or run

away you take a piece of me with you there oh it

seems I'm walking right to your door my heart's

still

resting looking for something more are you

ever gonna see everything you mean to me I'm

trying really hard to believe Every time you walk

away or run away you take a piece of me with you

there Every time you walk away or run away you

take a piece of me with you there Every time you

walk away or run away you take a piece of me with

you there Never feels right when I'm out here on

my own

I left

last night and it feels like way too long are you

ever gonna see everything you mean to me I'm

trying really hard to believe Every time you walk

away, run away you take a piece of meat with you

there Every time you walk away or run away you

take a piece of me with you there Every time you

walk away or run away you take a piece of me with

you there come back

to me,

smile and you'll make my life complete every time

you walk away or run away you take a piece of me

with you there Every time you walk away or run

away you take a piece of me with you you there

Every time you walk away or run away you take a

piece of me with you there Every time you walk

away or run away you take a piece of me with you

there. Every time you walk away or run away you

take a piece of me with you there Every time you

walk away or run away you take a piece of meat

with you there Every time you walk away or run

away you take a piece of me with you there Every

time you walk away or run away you take a piece of

me with you there.