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When Everything Falls Apart, Look Up with Heidi Siefkas
Episode 1 • 27th March 2026 • DunnWise Perspectives • Doris Dunn
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Episode Summary

What do you do when life changes in an instant?

In this first episode of DunnWise Perspectives, Doris Dunn sits down with author and speaker Heidi Siefkas to talk about resilience, reinvention, and the power of mindset.

After surviving a devastating accident, personal betrayal, and later the loss of the love of her life, Heidi shares how she learned to focus on what she could control—and rebuild from there.

This is a conversation about real life, real loss, and real strength.

In This Episode

  • Why mindset is the one thing you can always control
  • How to “triage” your life during overwhelming moments
  • The power of small steps when everything feels impossible
  • Why community matters more than going it alone
  • A simple daily practice to reset your perspective

Key Takeaway

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

Just take the next step—and keep going.

About Heidi Siefkas

Heidi Siefkas is an author, speaker, TEDx presenter, and host of The Look Up Mindset Podcast. She shares powerful stories of resilience and helps others navigate life’s toughest moments with strength and perspective.

Connect with Heidi

Connect with Doris

Call to Action

If this conversation resonated with you, don’t let it stop here. Take a moment to reflect on where you might be stuck—and what your next step could be. If you’re ready for more clarity and direction, I’d love to connect.

Want to Be a Guest?

Have a story of resilience, reinvention, or overcoming a challenge? I’d love to hear from you.

👉 Submit your story here: https://forms.gle/gJWpVcsZ5wTwfAgSA

Transcripts

Doris:

Hello Heidi.

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How are you today?

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I am excellent.

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Thank you, Doris.

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It's a pleasure to be here.

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Oh, I am so glad that you're here.

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You are my very first podcast guest

on my brand new podcast that I

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think is gonna be called Dunn Wise

Perspectives, and I couldn't have

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a better guest as my first guest.

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I'm thrilled that you were not only

on this podcast, but you were on my

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former podcast leader ish, and you

were a wonderful guest on that podcast.

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And you have an incredible story, and I'd

love for you to just take a few minutes

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to introduce yourself to our audience.

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Thank you.

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Heidi: My name is Heidi SKAs, and I

would say storytelling is in my DNA,

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whether that is my four published books,

they're all nonfiction because I believe

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that, life, creates stories for us

that don't need any fictionalization.

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I'm also a public speaker.

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I've done a Ted x talk.

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I'm now a podcaster of the lookup

mindset and, to create some good stories.

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I'm in a adventurer, whether that's

kayaking the rivers here in Tennessee,

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hiking in Hawaii, or who knows where I'll

end up this year, maybe the Grand Canyon.

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Doris: Oh, so exciting.

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And another great reason to

have you on as our first guest

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is your books, podcasts, TEDx.

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Everything is about mindset, and

this podcast is also about mindset.

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And I am looking for people who have

overcome some incredible obstacles.

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I know you have a lot of stories

of overcoming obstacles, and

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it's not just one, it wasn't like

you just overcame one obstacle.

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It seemed like one happened, and

then another, and then another.

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And I would love for you to share

your journey with us just at a

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high level, what was your journey?

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Where did you start?

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And, why it's even named lookup.

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So maybe share a little bit about your

journey and how lookup even began.

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Heidi: Life could change in an instant.

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We all know this and I

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found out not once, but twice.

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And that's the thing about life.

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you don't expect it.

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And the only thing that

you can control is mindset.

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Mm-hmm.

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And what prompted me to create

the lookup mantra was something.

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As boring as taking out the trash.

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So I was in my early thirties

and I was a high powered travel

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industry, executive jet setting, the

world, Mexico City one day, Berlin,

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the next Costa Rica, New York.

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The next, I was happily

married to a Brazilian chef.

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we owned a quaint home in South

Florida and we had a supportive

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community of friends and family.

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And in taking out the last night's pizza

box, my life changed in an instant.

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I turned the corner to take that box

to the dumpster, and unbeknownst to me

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a tree limb weighing a thousand pounds

from 30 feet in the air clobbered

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me, leaving me there unconscious.

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Now I awoke five days later.

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Let that sink in a little bit.

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If you lost five minutes, let alone

five days, you would be scared.

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But I woke up not knowing where

I was and in a neck brace.

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So the doctors put the pieces

of my puzzle together for me.

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That good Samaritan called the paramedics.

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I got to the trauma hospital.

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I was there with a broken

C seven vertebra, and I was

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to undergo neurosurgery.

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So basically neurosurgery was successful.

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As you can see, the C seven controlled

some pretty important things, eyes

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and hands, but it was a very lengthy

recovery, a year long recovery.

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I couldn't go back to work.

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The accident actually happened

in upstate New York, not in

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South Florida where I lived.

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So there were many

challenges and with a year a.

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Long prognosis.

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I had time to evaluate

every aspect of my life.

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And that kind of picture, perfect

summary that looks good on LinkedIn and

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on paper, wasn't necessarily the truth.

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I discovered that my husband

had been unfaithful for a very

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long time, living a double life.

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That high power career forced me to

resign because of my lengthy recovery.

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So in one fell swoop, health,

marriage, career, blah, I call

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it my win all balls drop moment.

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And I share that full story in all the

details and the mess in my first book.

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And what I decided was I had

a really important decision.

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It was either to rebuild the former

life or to architect a new one.

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And ta-da.

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I decided to architect a new one and that.

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Alongside building a new life.

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I would embrace that.

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I can't control these things.

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I couldn't control the tree limb,

my husband, my employer, but I

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could control how I reframe that

situation and the mindset, and

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that's where Lookup came from.

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So that is reinvention of life number one.

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Doris: I would love to know when you

woke up from that hospital bed and the

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emotions that you felt, and we'll let the

husband go for just a second, but just

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your injuries and having to deal with.

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Recovery when you first woke up, I'm sure

that your mindset wasn't, okay, we're

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gonna turn this into a great situation.

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what did you first feel and how

long did it take you to make a

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conscious decision not to let

that situation control your life?

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Heidi: So I knew about the

infidelity before the tree hit me.

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So the tree almost was like the

knock on the head that I needed

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to wake up and actually say,

yes, this is what's happening.

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Doris: how long before the tree limb

did you know about the infidelity

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Heidi: the night before?

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Doris: Oh, no.

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Oh wow.

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Heidi: So in the story, in the

book, it goes into details as

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to how I found out and whatnot.

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But when I woke in the ICU and

underwent neurosurgery, I decided,

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okay, we're gonna take my life

and treated as a triage doctor.

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So I can't make decisions about my

marriage or my career right now.

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I can only focus on my health.

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Mm-hmm.

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And so that was getting outta the hospital

first and foremost, and then starting

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to do whatever I could to rehabilitate.

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And basically when you're trying to fuse

your spine, it's basically being still,

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the only thing that I could do was do

meditation walks, limited into what is

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called a Miami JTO brace, which is from

your neck down to your belly button.

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Then around.

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To your spine.

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So I couldn't move like this.

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My observation anywhere I would go

would be like a long lawn sprinkler,

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Mm-hmm.

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Because I had to move my

entire torso at the same time.

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So the process of getting out of

that brace was nearly six months

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until I took it off and I had

to wean myself out of this cage.

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And I called it a cage because one, it was

my protector, but also it was my prison.

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So I focused on my health.

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And then once I started weaning myself

out and doing physical therapy and

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also getting mental health support,

because there wasn't just one facet

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of my life that was changing, it

was multiple at the same time.

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Then I dealt with the deciding.

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Of to continue with marriage

or to divorce, and that was

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the second tier of my triage.

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Then after I decided to divorce and

I could not forgive and forget, it

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was time for a different type of

love, I decided, hey, it's now time

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to work on that W2 or new business.

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And that's when I decided I was

gonna lean into my storytelling

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full time, whether that was for a

corporation or if that was a hybrid

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of writing books, speaking, and that.

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Doris: Wow.

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Did you do this all yourself

or who was your support system?

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Who was there around you giving you

support through all of this trauma?

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Heidi: Lookup has two tenants that you

can be in the moment and find the upside.

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But the secret sauce to making it

work is that you don't do it alone.

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You have community.

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And I did not do my first reinvention by

myself, and I call them my clan because

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they weren't all DNA family members.

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They were also friends that have become

family, but also other people came out

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of the woodwork that I had no idea would

provide me with wisdom and support.

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For example, there's not many people that

have said that they've had a back injury

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and have been laid up in mid-career, but.

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Some of my former colleagues

had, and they gave me support.

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They said what helped them get through

some of the issues of needing to be

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immobile, some meditation, other people

that knew how to find a good lawyer for

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a divorce quickly, that not all your

friends have gone through divorce, but

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someone has, or maybe they were the

executive assistant of someone who had

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gone through a divorce and did it quickly.

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So there were people that came out of

former work environments, even some

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online connections that showed me

support because if you think you can

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get it from one person, you're wrong.

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No one person has all the information

to help you through a multifaceted,

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full-blown life catastrophe.

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So community is central.

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Doris: Oh my gosh.

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Community is so important.

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I'm such a believer in community and I,

I know social media has its challenges,

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but at the end of the day, I am so

grateful for social media because I

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think it does create, or you find a

community when you need one and you

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can relink with people that can support

you that you forgot even existed, high

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school friends, college friends, people

from former workplaces that you forgot,

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that you're even connected with on

some of these social media channels.

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And if you're willing to get vulnerable

and you're willing to share your

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story, it's amazing how many people

come back to support you and help

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you in so many different ways.

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And it may be finding a lawyer, it may be

delivering a meal when you need it most.

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Heidi: Absolutely.

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Yes.

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Doris: Where would you say

your greatest community was?

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Was it, did you find a lot of the support?

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Online through social media, or did your

close knit friends find other friends?

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What were some ways that you found

your community either developed

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it or rekindled community that

you'd forgotten was even there?

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Heidi: I think it was primarily

my inner circle, and then they

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crowdsourced, if you will.

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Mm-hmm.

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Other people in their circle.

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it was My friends and then

friends of their friends.

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I did source some through

social media when this happened.

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It was in 2009, so it was at

the very beginning of Facebook.

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I think my accident and disclosing it

on Facebook forced a lot of my friends,

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because some weren't on Facebook at the

time and they found out from maybe one

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of their sisters and they were upset

that they didn't know about my accident,

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but I wasn't going to take my Rolodex

and call everybody to let them know.

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Mm-hmm.

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It was one of the ways that I

could mass communicate, Hey, if

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you don't hear from me, this is

what happened and I'm recovering,

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I'll be laid up for the next year.

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feel free to pick up the

phone and we can catch up.

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Doris: Wow.

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What would you say was the

most unexpected internal shift

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that happened as a result of.

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The, basically, like you said,

this triage, these three different

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things that happened at this pretty

much at the same time, and it

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took a while to, to overcome that.

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But as you started to triage, what

internal shift happened for you?

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Heidi: I would say that I was a type

A superwoman, one woman show who could

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conquer anything if I put my mind to it.

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And the accident flipped that to

taking things in bite-sized chunks and

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maybe not dealing with what I thought

was the most emotional part of the

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scenario, which was the love of my life.

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But I had to focus on the health and

so I just had to say one thing at a

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time and that was not what was natural.

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So I had to really slow down and.

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Not be a superwoman.

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Okay.

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Doris: Well

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how did you do that

without getting frustrated?

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'cause I could imagine many of

us, myself included, if all of a

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sudden I am and I'm also go, go, go.

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I work out every day.

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I walk the dogs every day.

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If I have to slow down due to a, a

cold or the flu, I can't stand it.

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I can't imagine being laid up and

flat on my back pretty much for

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a year without building a lot of.

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Anger inside of me.

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And I'm curious how you did that.

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How did you make the shift that our

listeners could even learn from that?

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And if they're suffering from some trauma

and maybe they're not laid flat on their

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back, but they're really struggling

with how to overcome the challenge that

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they're facing, what would be some good

tips you said you went from, you're gonna

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do it all to little chunks of change.

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What are some great ways

that, some takeaways that we

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could take from what you did?

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Heidi: There is power in movement.

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Even though I was in an immobilization

brace, I could walk and so I got myself

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out of my physical location and I did

this even when it was cold and just one

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step in front of the other was enough

to escape my reality for a moment.

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Mm-hmm.

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And start almost meditating

in a walking format.

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And it's no secret people have been doing

pilgrimages, whether it's the Camino de

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Santiago or the Sister Trail in Japan,

the Kimo Coto to do the same thing.

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They're on a quest to find meaning to.

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Their life, their loss, a

spark for a creative project.

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So I totally embrace walking.

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Now, if you cannot walk, you can do

the same by doing another form of

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meditation, whether that's gardening,

yoga, and as I said at the beginning,

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adventure can do the same thing.

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When you're doing something that is a

little bit fearful and it's something

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that you haven't done and you're in

the zone, you kind of escape your

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reality and you are on a one track mind.

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So those are things that you can do.

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and also having a reminder in your

daily calendar to force you to do this.

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Yes, because we typically put.

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Our, mental health on a back burner,

or we'll say, eh, later, later, later.

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But we really need to do things

for our mindset every single day.

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And so I have a reminder

at 11 that says, look up.

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And it mm-hmm, forces me for 15

minutes to kinda look up, get

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off the technology to advice.

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Just take a moment and find what

the beauty is, what you know,

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what's going great right now.

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Do I feel great?

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Is the sky blue?

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Is there snow on the pine trees?

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Is there a great sunrise, is

my favorite song on the radio?

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And then find the upside in the situation.

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Sometimes you may not find it immediately.

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Sometimes that comes with time,

just like being laid up and finding

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out about your cheating husband and

career loss all at the same time.

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What could be the upside

of losing everything?

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it was creating a better

second version of myself.

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Doris: I love that.

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I was listening to a Mel Robbins

podcast, it might be two years

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ago, and one of the things she

talked about is looking for hearts.

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So as you're going on a walk or even

sitting in your office and taking the

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time to, and it doesn't have to be a

heart, it could be some other symbol,

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but she used hearts, and as she's

talking, she looks around her room

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and she said, well, I see one here.

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I see one there.

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But as you're going for a walk,

you might see it on a tree.

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You might see it in the form of a leaf.

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You might see it.

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As, the form of, maybe it's

even footprints in a snowy walk.

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It could be anywhere.

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So now you're focusing on something else.

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You're focusing on, not the trauma,

not the sadness, not the woe is me, but

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you're focusing on something positive.

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And I know that I can, sometimes

I walk the dogs every day and

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I can go into a dark place.

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I can start thinking about terrible

things that have happened, and

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I'll have to turn myself around and

say, it's going to be a great day.

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And that's the mantra.

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Then I start listing off why

it's going to be a great day.

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All the things that are in front of me,

not only that are either on the calendar

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or planned, but maybe even why, like you

said, the pine cones or the trees out

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there, or the sunshine and the beautiful

clouds, and the fact that I can walk

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the dogs, the fact that I have dogs.

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All of those things are looking

at the beauty of something rather

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than focusing on the sadness or the

challenges that we have in front of us.

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So I really, I really love this.

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What would you say, what

is one misconception that

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people have about resilience?

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Heidi: That they don't have it?

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Mm, we all have the

ability to be resilient.

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Because we all have the opportunity

to change, and it is never

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too late, and resilience is

basically embracing adaptability.

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Doris: Oh, that is fabulous.

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That is amazing.

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That's such incredible wisdom.

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And I think that we need to say

that again, that people, that they

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don't believe that they have it.

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They have, they feel they're

so deep in the well or so

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deep in the hole or whatever.

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Analogy we wanna use.

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They don't know that

they can climb out of it.

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They don't know that there is

something positive on the other side.

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there is a saying, and I'm gonna, say

it wrong, but I think it's failure

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and success are on the same path.

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It's just that success is

a little further ahead.

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And I think sometimes people give up.

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They feel like it's not working.

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I'm at failure.

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This is it.

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I'm gonna turn around

'cause it's not working.

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And they don't realize that three

steps in front of them is where

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success is or the beginning of success.

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And if they just tap into that resilience

and that knowledge that it's going to be

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a better day tomorrow or even later today,

and that they just need to keep prodding

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forward, just keep moving forward.

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Like you said, even the.

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going for a walk, taking those steps,

and I'm a firm believer in action

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and just taking that first step.

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This is my first interview for my podcast.

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Yes, I was doing a podcast last year with

someone else that had some experience,

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but getting this on the calendar,

scheduling this interview, and just

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diving in, taking that first step.

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And I think we can all do that,

especially if we put it on the calendar

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and we have an accountability partner

that helps too, in terms of resilience

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and making sure that buddy of ours,

that accountability partner, makes

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sure that we move forward when we

don't personally think that we can.

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Heidi: The tree taught me resilience,

but it almost forced the lesson.

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Mm-hmm.

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And I think that's another answer to

your question, that people sometimes

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wait for life to serve them a

lesson when they could actually

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take a hold of the reins mm-hmm.

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And adapt without something

negatively impacting them, so that

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they need to then pull themselves

up and start going step by step.

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Doris: Yeah.

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And you said something important there.

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Taking hold of the reins, and you

said this a little bit earlier before,

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what you can control when you have

the reins, you are in control of that.

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Proverbial horse, and you can help control

where the horse goes, making it trot

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or gallop or turn left or turn right.

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But it's still a matter of having that.

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What can you control?

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You can't control everything.

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You couldn't control

that limb falling on you.

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You couldn't control your

husband's infidelity.

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But what you could control is

triaging the situation and then

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turning it into something positive.

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So I think taking the reins and taking

control over what you can take control of.

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another Mel Robbins expression

is let them, you can, you

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have to let things happen.

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You have to let them what

you don't have control over.

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Let that happen.

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All you can take control over is how

you react, how you behave, how you

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:

respond, and that's what you can take

control of and that's what you should do.

367

:

my next question is, I know that

you're interviewing a lot of people.

368

:

Can you maybe share a story from someone

else's life that really stuck with you?

369

:

Heidi: Gosh, I interviewed nearly 30

people for my latest book and their

370

:

real life heroes and Heroes, they

have overcome tremendous obstacles

371

:

and come out the other side bigger,

better versions of themselves.

372

:

And I chose people from different

countries, different ethnicities,

373

:

religions, genders, ages to figure out

if lookup really resonated with people.

374

:

Almost as if I had a hypothesis and I was

proving it scientifically to be proven

375

:

by the strength of numbers, and I did,

I found that they may say it differently

376

:

finding a sliver of hope, the silver

lining turning lemons into lemonade.

377

:

But they said that from the lowest

point is a great jumping spot

378

:

for moving upwards and onwards,

and that they never did it alone.

379

:

Their triumph was always

shared with their clan, their

380

:

community, their family members.

381

:

And I guess I am interviewing for

the second time my contributors to

382

:

the book and they are my first season

of the podcast and I interviewed.

383

:

Quite a few of them already, and

it's interesting that since the

384

:

book has been published, it was

published in March,:

385

:

their stories have even evolved.

386

:

So one story is of Pamela

Reader and her family in Maui.

387

:

I started writing the book while I

resided in Maui, and I had a second

388

:

life curve ball that I had constructed.

389

:

Another perfect life.

390

:

I had found love again.

391

:

I moved to Hawaii with my love, and we

were both caregivers for my father who

392

:

was in his late eighties at the time.

393

:

I had written multiple books.

394

:

Did the TEDx talk, even did

some international tourism

395

:

As a educational tour guide.

396

:

So I was really living my second life

well, and on Maui, I started writing

397

:

the book and was halfway through it.

398

:

And then the love of my life,

his name was Brian Trepto and he

399

:

was more adventurous than I am.

400

:

And he was a pilot and in trying to save

someone else's life on the big island, as

401

:

he was a medevac pilot, he crashed, with

two crew members on board and passed away.

402

:

So I didn't know if lookup

was strong enough to.

403

:

Get off my knees of losing my

life partner as well as the

404

:

future that we had dreamed of.

405

:

Mm-hmm.

406

:

Was gone.

407

:

So in essence, what I thought

my future would be, had been

408

:

stripped from me in an instant.

409

:

Can't for the second time, can't for

the second time, but without the lesson

410

:

of the tree, I don't think I would be

here today because that knocked me down.

411

:

I didn't get up.

412

:

I, it took me a long time to crawl.

413

:

Then I eventually got up and showed

my face to the world, and it took

414

:

nearly a year and a half until I

felt comfortable saying, look up.

415

:

Still works.

416

:

There is not much of an upside of

losing someone, but if there's an

417

:

epitome of being in the moment, Brian

was, that there's not a squirrel

418

:

that he didn't chase and he and I

had 12 beautiful years of love, and

419

:

that's the upside that I had that.

420

:

Mm-hmm.

421

:

So the tree showed me resilience, love

showed me possibility, and losing that

422

:

love, showed me how powerful the love was.

423

:

So with kind of my own gumption and

knowing that Brian would want me to

424

:

continue the project, I jumpstarted

that and I looked for stories with more

425

:

fervor that were more extraordinary.

426

:

And I get back to Maui, I needed to have

something that was where the book started.

427

:

Mm-hmm.

428

:

Most people know that the Maui Fire

of Laina was in August of:

429

:

I had already moved off the island

six months prior, so I was not there,

430

:

but I knew it impacted thousands.

431

:

In fact, the entire island was impacted,

whether they were housing people, whether

432

:

they lost their jobs, whether they were

some of the thousands that never returned

433

:

to Maui because they needed to move off

for the economic impact that it had.

434

:

But by the time I had recovered mentally

and emotionally of losing, Brian

435

:

was almost two years after the fact.

436

:

A year and a half after the fire

and people were starting to be

437

:

comfortable with sharing their story.

438

:

Mm-hmm.

439

:

And through a friend of a friend, I

was introduced to Pamela Reader and

440

:

she was willing to share her story of

losing her home evacuating with her two

441

:

adolescent girls, husband and cat, and

seeing the apocalyptic view of the hills

442

:

on fire and the sun setting behind them.

443

:

And just seeing people walking down

the street with suitcases and their

444

:

belongings not being able to use cell

phones, and finally getting to the

445

:

other side of Maui and there's tourists

waiting to get on their snorkel boat.

446

:

it was some version of hell

on this side, and then it was

447

:

Honeymoon Central and Maui.

448

:

Epic vacation on the other.

449

:

Anyway, by the time I was talking to her,

she had good news, which was that she had

450

:

an excellent insurance policy and that she

had permits to break ground, to build a

451

:

house exactly where their old house was.

452

:

She was hoping to get into that

home before this Thanksgiving.

453

:

So the past one, late 2025.

454

:

And in talking to her for the podcast,

they have since moved into the home and

455

:

they were the first home constructed.

456

:

Now around them, there's several that are

being constructed, but they were the first

457

:

to actually move to construct, move in,

and also celebrate the holidays there.

458

:

Mm-hmm.

459

:

Now with that said, homecomings

are sometimes bittersweet.

460

:

So you think this is like victorious?

461

:

Victorious, but she said, my

connection to look up is I thought

462

:

that everything was gonna be positive.

463

:

And I almost was fearful

because I was moving into a

464

:

neighborhood that wasn't the same.

465

:

And crying about that, that it

wasn't the same community as it was.

466

:

But then she said,

someone's gotta go first.

467

:

Yeah.

468

:

And so she flipped that switch

of being this negative Nelly

469

:

into she's Pioneer, Pam, and I'm

gonna be the welcoming committee.

470

:

So it shows how powerful our remote

control of our own mind is, just by

471

:

saying, I guess it, it's my turn.

472

:

Doris: Wow.

473

:

That's an incredible story.

474

:

And I think there are similar stories

with the fires that were in California

475

:

too, and I know they've done a lot of

recent stories on the one year anniversary

476

:

of the fires in California, and they're

showing a lot of resilience there as well.

477

:

And they're interviewing the

people that thought that maybe

478

:

they would never come back.

479

:

And they're starting to build,

they're starting to build their

480

:

homes and businesses and you see

that in so many communities that have

481

:

been devastated by hurricanes and

fires and tornadoes and even riots.

482

:

And we're it's the people that have

done the damage and the overcoming.

483

:

But I think.

484

:

It's so important, like you said,

internally, we need to flip that switch

485

:

and we need to, and it's not easy.

486

:

Sometimes it's, you just have to do

it even though it's uncomfortable.

487

:

And this is also where that

accountability partner, that

488

:

community comes in to support you.

489

:

And when you're very, very scared to what,

we'll use that, the reign analogy again,

490

:

to get up on that horse and ride again.

491

:

If you have a community around you,

getting you up on that horse and

492

:

putting you in that saddle so that

you can grab those reins and start

493

:

taking control of your life, I think

that is a beautiful picture and a

494

:

beautiful vision of what we can do.

495

:

do you have any thoughts on people

that are struggling it's easy for us

496

:

to sit here and say you just do it.

497

:

like Nike says, just

do it and not everyone.

498

:

Can do that.

499

:

How do we help those that are so deep

in the hole or so struggling that they

500

:

just can't see around that next bend

and they don't think it's possible?

501

:

how do we encourage them to take those

reins or at least take one step forward?

502

:

Do you have any thoughts for them?

503

:

Heidi: Yes.

504

:

First thing, breathe it.

505

:

It comes back to that.

506

:

You can control that.

507

:

Just the simpleness of stopping and

breathing that can bring some clarity.

508

:

I'm gonna be the first to tell people that

look up doesn't mean you're a Pollyanna

509

:

and you're positive about everything.

510

:

You have to have the rollercoaster

of emotions and you cannot get out

511

:

the other side without acknowledging

the anger, the sadness, the loss.

512

:

And it may take time to find what that

upside is, but eventually I'm telling you

513

:

from experience and from the writing of

the Look Up book and the podcast, that

514

:

every wound, every hurdle, every life

hiccup, eventually turns into wisdom.

515

:

you don't have to do it all at once.

516

:

Just start out with one step,

whether it was me getting out of bed.

517

:

And remembering to eat and shower after

Brian passed, or whether it was those

518

:

walks in that immobilization brace.

519

:

Those were small things.

520

:

I was not conquering anything

huge, but it was the choice

521

:

that I made to take that walk.

522

:

Mm-hmm.

523

:

Or get out of bed.

524

:

Doris: Well, but it, it was that

day, that moment, it was huge.

525

:

That step mm-hmm.

526

:

Was huge.

527

:

You may not look at it as huge

today, but at the time it was huge.

528

:

And I think to the, to that question

that I just asked, and the person that

529

:

feels so stuck, they can't move forward.

530

:

That first breath breathing.

531

:

Is huge.

532

:

And be proud of yourself for taking

that first breath, that first step, and

533

:

give yourself grace for the challenges

that you faced or not being able to

534

:

breathe yesterday or the day before.

535

:

Give yourself grace for that.

536

:

But today, take that breath.

537

:

Yeah.

538

:

I wanna hear a little

bit about your new book.

539

:

So you mentioned that you're, you've

launched your own podcast Yes.

540

:

And will have all of that information in

the show notes, along with the information

541

:

and how do you get the lookup book.

542

:

But tell me a little bit about

your upcoming book and how

543

:

it's different from Lookup.

544

:

Heidi: So this ends, this as behind

me lookup global stories of resilience

545

:

was basically the idea was sparked.

546

:

By me sharing my story about the

tree, and then people came out of

547

:

the woodwork, whether it was after

reading the book, whether it was a

548

:

book club or at public speaking events,

and they would share their story.

549

:

So eventually I said, I've got to put

a compilation of people's stories that

550

:

maybe you don't have, the talents don't

have the time, or they never wanted

551

:

to write their story, but they now

see now that they're older or further

552

:

removed from the very emotional pivotal

moment in their life, they say, yeah,

553

:

this would be helpful for someone

else going through something trying.

554

:

Mm-hmm.

555

:

So in writing that book.

556

:

I said, okay, I want to have a good

collection from around the world so that

557

:

we can show regardless of age, gender,

any of the demographic, check boxes,

558

:

that there's a commonality and it's that

the power of perspective and community

559

:

will get us through darn near anything.

560

:

as soon as I pressed publish, another

story came in via my Google form,

561

:

and it was from a amazing doctor in

Wisconsin that had tremendous loss.

562

:

And I was like, this needs

to be in the book, but it was

563

:

already too late for this book.

564

:

So then I said, there's definitely

gonna be a second edition.

565

:

So then I start promoting the book

on podcast like your former one

566

:

leader ish and others news stations

and, public speaking events.

567

:

And I thought of why not

reverse engineer the next book.

568

:

Why don't I do the interview on a podcast

and see which stories really resonate

569

:

and perhaps use AI to just transcribe the

interview and then use my wordsmithing

570

:

abilities to create those chapters.

571

:

And it's almost like doing the

market research as to which stories

572

:

got downloads on the podcast.

573

:

Mm-hmm.

574

:

So it then curate the book based on that.

575

:

So there will be another book, but

it's gonna be based on probably

576

:

season two and three of the

Lookup Mindset Podcast interviews.

577

:

Doris: That's amazing.

578

:

Okay, now I'm gonna, I'm gonna ask a

selfish question because I am also in

579

:

the process of writing a book, and I

think I've done, I'm doing the reverse

580

:

engineering, so I'm doing what you're

doing on your second book for my first

581

:

book and finding people with stories.

582

:

And my book will also be about mindset.

583

:

And I'm at the very, it's in its infancy.

584

:

I'm still trying to figure out

exactly what it's gonna look like,

585

:

what the chapters will look like.

586

:

But the bottom line is that I want the

stories and the interviews that I have.

587

:

I want people to walk away with

some thoughts on how they can

588

:

take that story and where they

see themselves in the story.

589

:

Even if a tree limb doesn't fall on their

heads, they can certainly see themselves

590

:

in the story of something terrible

happened and how can I overcome that?

591

:

How can I overcome this?

592

:

And so selfishly, what does the writing

process look like, especially between

593

:

the first one and the second one?

594

:

And I think you just gave us a little

bit of a hint that you're gonna

595

:

have AI transcribe and that you'll

wordsmith and you'll put it together.

596

:

But if you can share a little, a few

secrets maybe to help me and other

597

:

people out there that are budding

authors that wanna write a nonfiction

598

:

book, what are some thoughts and

suggestions that you could give us

599

:

on helping put together a bestseller,

600

:

Heidi: short chapters?

601

:

No one has time to read a 30 page chapter.

602

:

Keep them to four to five pages

so that they can jump in where

603

:

they left off and not fall asleep

in the middle of the chapter.

604

:

Doris: You don't want

people to fall asleep.

605

:

Yeah.

606

:

you don't want people to use your

book to help them fall asleep.

607

:

That's not a good idea.

608

:

Heidi: You also don't need to write

a book in a chronological fashion.

609

:

Mm-hmm.

610

:

You don't need to even write it

in a way that they have to read

611

:

it from chapter one to chapter 20.

612

:

You could make it so they could

open it up anywhere and get that

613

:

daily dose of mindset wisdom.

614

:

my first three books were nonfiction

and memoir based off of my life, and

615

:

those were based off of journal entries.

616

:

The fourth book that I talked about,

I interviewed other people's stories.

617

:

So it basically was leveling up.

618

:

And so part of my writing process is

that the goal is that one, that it

619

:

inspires others, but that the owner of

that story, the person that went through

620

:

it, or the family that went through it,

that they also feel proud of it and that

621

:

it, that I penned it and did it justice.

622

:

a part of the writing process is trying

to get that essence out of someone else,

623

:

whether that's interview style, then I

pen it, or if it's interview styled and

624

:

AI transcribes it, then I amend it to

more hide iss, than what naturally came.

625

:

And then the last part is the approval

from the person that shared the story.

626

:

Sometimes they, once

they see it in writing.

627

:

They want to make something

bolder or maybe soften something

628

:

or emphasize something else.

629

:

But I want them to make sure that they

feel proud about what that chapter was.

630

:

and that was actually the most nerve

wracking part of the writing process

631

:

was pressing send on a chapter

that I wrote for someone else.

632

:

Mm-hmm.

633

:

Because I was fearful on the first

one on the 30th, one the same.

634

:

Still fearful that person was

gonna say, this is crud, and, or

635

:

maybe this is not what I said.

636

:

Yeah.

637

:

Or did that ever happen?

638

:

no one ever said that.

639

:

That's what I was fearful of.

640

:

But what was really interesting,

I gave everyone the opportunity

641

:

to use their real name, have a

fake name, and at the 11th hour.

642

:

Just like when I launched my

first memoir, I said, oh my

643

:

gosh, did I just make a mistake?

644

:

I just am about to get naked in

front of a book club in Juno, Alaska.

645

:

I'm publishing this about my life.

646

:

It's like airing your dirty laundry.

647

:

Yeah.

648

:

But now I have to put,

myself in their shoes.

649

:

They didn't choose necessarily to be an

author, but they're sharing their story.

650

:

Mm-hmm.

651

:

And them, that's being

very vulnerable for them.

652

:

And I had one contributor that

said, did you use my real name?

653

:

I said, yes, you agreed to that.

654

:

And I said, okay.

655

:

why did you originally

want to share the story?

656

:

we eventually got to a place that she

felt still comfortable and now it's

657

:

shocking, but she's the most vocal

of all the contributors about the

658

:

story, has publicly spoken about it.

659

:

She's also, participated

in my podcast, it's.

660

:

Opened her up to see the healing,

not only for herself, but for others.

661

:

In sharing that story.

662

:

Doris: Yeah, I love that story.

663

:

I know that when, so I've been writing

my weekly blogs for about a year and

664

:

a half now, and a lot of them, I open

myself up and I'm very vulnerable

665

:

on many of these blogs that I write.

666

:

And the, the more vulnerable I

am, the more positivity I get back

667

:

from people and where people can

see themselves in this situation.

668

:

And it makes you comfortable

when you are vulnerable.

669

:

It's scary to be vulnerable when,

but when you're willing to open up,

670

:

when you're willing to be vulnerable

and share something that someone else

671

:

can learn from or someone can relate

to and feel like they're not alone.

672

:

And I think that's why I like to

share some of the vulnerable stories,

673

:

and I'm not afraid to share those

stories, is because I know I'm not

674

:

the only one out there that has

experienced whatever situation it is.

675

:

And when I share it and someone

else can relate to it, then

676

:

they don't feel as much alone.

677

:

And I think that's so important.

678

:

And I love the fact that this person can

now share her story over and over again.

679

:

So thank you so much for

sharing those tips and tricks.

680

:

And I, I'm trying to get

better at journaling myself.

681

:

I used to be really good at it as

a teenager, and I think I stopped

682

:

for decades and now I'm starting

again and it's very helpful.

683

:

And even these weekly blogs, it's helpful

to, for force myself, not, I don't

684

:

always have ideas every single week.

685

:

And sometimes it'll be Wednesday

night or Thursday morning and I

686

:

think, I have no idea what I wanna

write about, and then something will

687

:

happen, or I'll see you a quote and

I'll realize this needs to be said.

688

:

And it usually winds up.

689

:

It resulting in positive feedback.

690

:

what's next that scares

you and excites you?

691

:

Heidi: what's next?

692

:

the podcast launches in February

of:

693

:

The lookup mindset.

694

:

And all of those people that Par

participated, I have already interviewed

695

:

them and penned their stories.

696

:

So it, I did the format of

pre-interview, feel 'em out, wrote

697

:

their chapter, they approved the

chapter, sent them the first copy so

698

:

they could be reading the whole book.

699

:

Now, their guests, their, some

of the stories have continued

700

:

on in a positive manner.

701

:

Some of them have just skyrocketed,

like Pamela Reader, but others

702

:

had a twisty turvy, I guess it's

not ending, but continuation.

703

:

Mm-hmm.

704

:

For example, there was one woman who was

in remission when we approved the chapter,

705

:

but by the time of publishing, she had.

706

:

Come out of remission and she

still said she was looking up and

707

:

around in spite of that diagnosis.

708

:

Wow.

709

:

So what the next challenge is

now I'm going to be doing what

710

:

you are doing, having people

you may not know on the podcast.

711

:

it's going to be the vetting of maybe

getting some information before a pre-call

712

:

and then doing the actual interview after

that, and finding the right combination,

713

:

like the right recipe for the right

combination of stories of resilience,

714

:

life transformation, and adventure.

715

:

Because I don't want it all to be boohoo.

716

:

I want there to be some cheerleading

in there and that in order to impact,

717

:

you got to get to the person's heart.

718

:

And maybe people don't resonate

with the word meditate.

719

:

Or mindset, but they sure can say, I

will hike Kilimanjaro and that's my jam.

720

:

So you have to meet them where they are.

721

:

Doris: I love that.

722

:

Are there any questions I didn't ask

that you wish I had, or questions that

723

:

you wanna answer that I didn't ask?

724

:

Heidi: I guess a lot of people ask

me how you become resilient and the

725

:

first thing I say, age will help.

726

:

because life, serves us all curve

balls or then there's the fast track,

727

:

and that's the fast track that I'm on.

728

:

I'm 49 and, I feel like I've been

served a couple big curve balls.

729

:

But the third thing is that, as I said

before, it's embracing what your DNA

730

:

and Darwin's law is, that we all need

to evolve or we go extinct and we're

731

:

on this planet maybe for 80 years.

732

:

You're not gonna be the same person.

733

:

You're in your twenties as you're in

your forties, sixties, or eighties.

734

:

And we hope that we evolve to

better versions, smarter versions.

735

:

And heck, by the time I'm 80,

I don't know how many more life

736

:

curve balls or evolutions I'll

go through, but Super Heidi.

737

:

Doris: I hope not too many.

738

:

And I, I also, not only, I love that

we wanna be better humans, but I think

739

:

it's also that we can be better role

models for others so people can learn

740

:

from our mistakes and our challenges and

maybe they don't have to relive those

741

:

situations in order to have a better life.

742

:

I know that's what we want for our

children and even if we don't have

743

:

children for our, the young people

that are growing up around us.

744

:

And we want what's best for them, and

we want them to have really great lives.

745

:

I feel like so much of what you've

taught us today and that you've taught

746

:

us in your past books and I know

will come to us in your future books.

747

:

I am so excited about going to

your podcast, listening to your

748

:

podcast, and I will be a huge fan.

749

:

And I appreciate so much that you took

the time today to be on my podcast.

750

:

thank you so much for your time today.

751

:

I really, really appreciate it.

752

:

I'm so glad I know you, Heidi.

753

:

Heidi: Likewise.

754

:

I wish you the best of

luck in both endeavors.

755

:

stories do matter.

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