OK, so here's the thing.
Somewhere along the way we all got told to "document everything." (I’m looking at you Gary Vee )
Now it feels like we can't go to the grocery store, a concert, or our kid's soccer game without thinking, “How can I turn this into a post?”
The other day I left my phone at home (once on purpose, once by mistake).
At first I was like, "Oh no!" (mostly because I want to be able to call AAA if it’s necessary )
But then it turned into this little taste of freedom. Wheeeeeeeeeeee!
There were no pictures taken, no texts pinging, and no little red numbers glaring back at me.
It was just me, being right there - in the right now.
Because, once we start planning for how we'll share a moment later… we've already left it.
We're warp-speed time traveling into the future - instead of being there in the room having the full-fledged experience with our sweeties, our friends, our human or furry kids, and our people.
We end up missing the moments that make up our life.
I'm not saying that devices are evil. (Trust me, I love sharing a wicked cute picture of Toby Pajamas or Bunchie.)
This episode is just an invitation from my heart to yours to give it a try it for a few hours.
Or heck, even for a whole Sunday.
Put the phone down and just go live your feckin’ life.
Report back what it was like if you want to - you know I’m always curious to hear!
And wherever you do go, may you, your love, and your real in-person, real-time presence be a blessing.
KAREN KENNEY BIO:
Karen Kenney is a writer, speaker, podcaster, certified spiritual mentor, and coach.
She’s known for her dynamic storytelling, her sense of humor, her Boston accent, and her no-bullshit approach to spirituality, self-discovery, and transformational change work.
Karen helps people to navigate this whole “being human” experience with more love, curiosity, courage, and creativity.
She encourages people to learn and explore by using personal stories and a bunch of different practical tools and universal principles.
KK has been a yoga teacher for 25+ years and has been offering Thai Yoga Massage since 2008.
She's also the creator of WRITE CLUB , and the host of The Karen Kenney Show podcast.
She coaches clients individually 1:1 in her HEART-TO-HEART DAYS and in her program, THE QUEST.
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It's the Karen Kenney show. Hey, you guys!
Karen Kenney:Welcome to the Karen Kenney Show. I'm super duper excited to
Karen Kenney:be here with you today, and I gotta tell you, I had a little
Karen Kenney:plot twist. I just, I just pivoted on myself because I
Karen Kenney:thought I knew what I was gonna talk about today, and then when
Karen Kenney:I went to hit record, I was like, no, no, no, no, no! I want
Karen Kenney:to talk about something else. So I'm just gonna like dive right
Karen Kenney:into this sucker. I don't know what the title of it's gonna be
Karen Kenney:yet. However, it's a jumping-off point. I was thinking about this
Karen Kenney:the other day. My sweetie and I actually had a conversation
Karen Kenney:about this. And when I was out on my walk run today, I just got
Karen Kenney:back, and because you gotta look at at my age, you gotta move it
Karen Kenney:or lose it. You gotta you gotta use it. You gotta you boy, you
Karen Kenney:gotta use it or you're gonna lose it. But I just got back and
Karen Kenney:I was like, no, I'm gonna talk about this instead. And I came
Karen Kenney:upstairs and hit record. And here's the thing: I think it was
Karen Kenney:don't hold me to this, but I'm pretty sure it was somewhere
Karen Kenney:around like 2006 ish. Like, remember Gary V, Gary
Karen Kenney:Vaynerchuk. So Gary comes on the scene, and he might have been on
Karen Kenney:the scene for a while. But I just remember distinctly at one
Karen Kenney:point he started pushing this whole idea, and maybe this
Karen Kenney:wasn't in 2006, but I just remember it being like 20
Karen Kenney:friggin' years ago, and Gary was kind of doing this whole thing
Karen Kenney:about like document your life, document everything, and he
Karen Kenney:would say instead of you know quote unquote creating content,
Karen Kenney:just document everything and then put it everywhere, like put
Karen Kenney:it all over social media. And I think it was around that time,
Karen Kenney:and I could be wrong, but I think it was around that time,
Karen Kenney:where when everybody like when Facebook and different you know
Karen Kenney:quote unquote social media things came out, the whole idea
Karen Kenney:was for us to be social with the people that we loved, with our
Karen Kenney:friends and family. It was an easy way to kind of like almost
Karen Kenney:on a mass level to stay in touch and to update people about
Karen Kenney:what's going on. Blah blah blah blah blah. That's what these
Karen Kenney:sites and all of that Facebook, Instagram, all these different
Karen Kenney:things were originally for. Right now, they're not actually
Karen Kenney:social sites. They have totally turned a corner. But more
Karen Kenney:importantly, what I want to say. So we we would consider them
Karen Kenney:more like entertainment vehicles now. I don't consider them as
Karen Kenney:actually being necessarily the best social tools for being
Karen Kenney:social. I think the best social tools is to you know see people
Karen Kenney:in person, to have relationships and friendships where you
Karen Kenney:actually get together and see each other. And if you live far
Karen Kenney:apart, maybe you call each other on the phone, or maybe you write
Karen Kenney:letters. Remember writing letters? Oh my God! But here's
Karen Kenney:my whole point about all of this. When Gary started telling
Karen Kenney:everybody, I'm not blaming this on Gary. I'm just saying, back
Karen Kenney:at that point, he was telling everybody to document
Karen Kenney:everything, and I think something happened to the
Karen Kenney:collective psyche of all of us. Right? I really believe in a
Karen Kenney:Course in Miracles is this concept that like all minds are
Karen Kenney:joined, right? So it's kind of like this idea, like how on one
Karen Kenney:island, right? There can be two separate islands where the
Karen Kenney:monkeys don't know each other, they don't talk to each other,
Karen Kenney:but something happens collectively where the monkeys
Karen Kenney:on one island will start to figure out how to use a tool.
Karen Kenney:They'll figure out how to use a rock to like smash nuts and get
Karen Kenney:the goodies inside, and then all of a sudden, somehow, magically,
Karen Kenney:mystically, on the other island, those monkeys also start doing
Karen Kenney:it. How does it happen? I believe it's because there's a
Karen Kenney:universal consciousness of some kind. So something kind of
Karen Kenney:happened to the human universal consciousness where we went from
Karen Kenney:we used to just live our lives. Maybe that's what I'm going to
call this:live your fucking life. Just live your life. But
call this:let me get to what I mean about that.
call this:Before social media, before this whole idea of documenting
call this:everything, like remember, there used to be like movies and
call this:books, and then when we wanted to go deep on something, we some
call this:some filmmaker would create a documentary, right? Now we
call this:almost treat everything, everything, like as a
call this:documentary. Meaning, I the other day, let me give an
call this:example. The other day, I went out, and I well, this happened
call this:twice. One, I intentionally left my phone at home. I think my
call this:sweetie had his on him. You know, because nowadays, if like
call this:if you're gonna, you know, if you're gonna, you don't want to
call this:break down on the side of the road or whatever, not have a way
call this:to call for help or whatever, right? If you or as a as a
call this:woman, especially you're going out for a run, you're going out
call this:to do something, you want to make sure that you have a means
call this:of communication. But in these rare times when you just like
call this:leave your phone at home, so one time I did it on purpose, and
call this:one time I did it by mistake. And at first I was like, "Oh no,
call this:I forgot my phone at home, and then slowly it started to become
call this:like this little taste of freedom, and I. Was just like, I
call this:can't take any pictures. I can't call anybody. But more
call this:importantly, nobody can call me. Nobody can text me. I mean, they
call this:can do it, but they're not going to get me because my phone is
call this:somewhere where my body isn't. You know what I mean? Somewhere
call this:where my brain isn't, and it became this little sense of
call this:freedom. I was like, "Oh my God, no! And I don't really have
call this:notifications turned on, anyways. But like, no little
call this:like red numbers telling me how many messages I have on any app,
call this:right? Like, no emails, no voxing, no text messaging, no
call this:phone calls, like nothing. I was just like free, and it got me to
call this:thinking about this thing, about how back in the day we used to
call this:just live our lives, and if we were going to document anything,
call this:like as writers a lot of times, writers we have some sort of
call this:writing utensil or you know piece of paper, a little
call this:notebook, a journal, or something on we scribble on the
call this:back of napkins, whatever. But if an idea occurred to us, if
call this:something came up, we would find a way to like write it down or
call this:do something that was fine, right? And if you had a camera,
call this:if you wanted to take pictures, that's how we used to document
call this:things, right? Is we would take a picture at a wedding, we would
call this:take a picture at your kid's graduation, you would take a
call this:picture to of a beautiful sunset or some waterfall or how cute
call this:your dog is, whatever it is, but we used to do these things and
call this:then we would put them in like photo albums, which you might
call this:then share if your friends came over to your house. Do you know
call this:what I mean? But that human element was there, but now it
call this:feels like, and this is the point I'm trying to make. I feel
call this:like so many of us have lost just this simplicity, and this
call this:clarity, and this freedom, and this spontaneity and fun of just
call this:living your life, because it's almost like this dictum, right?
call this:We've been dictated, we've been told by all the marketing people
call this:we've been told by the Gary V's of the world, and again, I think
call this:Gary Gary has done some good in the world. This is just the old
call this:thing. Document everything. And here's the thing: when is the
call this:last time? Now, if you're in an older older generation, you
call this:might be like, "I do this all this time, all the time. Well,
call this:then this isn't for you, right? Thank you for being here, and
call this:I'm not saying this to you, but I'm just asking the general
call this:public, whoever listens to the show, right? When's the last
call this:time you just went and had an experience and didn't feel the
call this:need to like? I have to take a picture, I have to think about
call this:this, I have to mine. I have to mine this experience, right? So
call this:that I can make a post later.
call this:And whether whether you're trying to think like, oh, what
call this:are the five lessons that I took away from my visit to Market
call this:Basket today, or what's a way that I can turn this into a
call this:post? What's a way that I can put this online and and make it
call this:content. How can I add value by taking this story that I'm going
call this:to tell so that I can get clients? Like da da da da da. Do
call this:you know what I mean? We used to just live our fucking lives, and
call this:then we might come home and be like, "Sweetie, let me tell you
call this:what happened, or you would share a story with your friend
call this:or whatever. But we weren't mining and just milking and
call this:trying to squeeze every single thing that we do, so that we can
call this:then share it later with a bunch of strangers on the internet.
call this:Now, yes, some of those people you're sharing with are your
call this:friends, and to be clear, I post pictures of Bunchy online,
call this:right? My my pug. I post pictures of Toby Pajamas, my
call this:cat. I do share things too, right? But I'm usually sharing
call this:because it's something I love, something that made me laugh,
call this:something I learned, something that's lighting me up, something
call this:that I want to, you know, make somebody else laugh about or
call this:whatever. But the other day, I was just like, it just kind of
call this:hit me, and I think why it's hitting me is not so much that
call this:we like to share parts of our life. It's that the social media
call this:overlords, right, the Zuckerbergs and the Elon Musk
call this:and all the people that own all the platforms. It became less
call this:about you being social with people you love, and more about
call this:you creating content for free for them, so that they can then
call this:use that right to manipulate and do things where they're trying
call this:to like gamify everything, so that they can keep your eyeballs
call this:on their platforms and the posts and the content of other people,
call this:so that they can sell more advertising to people, so that
call this:they can track how long your eyeballs are literally on a
call this:thing. So they're basically using you and your content to
call this:get fucking rich, and they've created this incredible
call this:ecosystem where they've. Got you convinced that you need to do
call this:these things, or you will no longer be relevant in your life.
call this:That your business will suffer. That you'll never find another
call this:client or another friend. Do you know what I mean? And it's all
call this:such a racket. And so, really, this is just like a little
call this:reminder that that you could just live your life. You don't
call this:have to take pictures. You don't have to post about it. You don't
call this:have to like find the seven tips and hacks, or here's my hot take
call this:on this meal at some frigging thing, or this is what I think
call this:about what so and so did or said. It's like all of it. It's
call this:like oh my god, right? It's just again, this is just an
call this:invitation from my height to yours, to just say I don't know.
call this:Once in a while, try it for a few hours. Try it for a day,
call this:where you just go out and live your life and have experiences,
call this:and don't think about what you're gonna do with it
call this:afterwards, right? Because what happens is when you're in the
call this:present moment, just having the experience with your sweetie,
call this:with your furry kids, with your human kids, with your family,
call this:with your group, your yoga class, whatever it is. As soon
call this:as you start thinking about, I need to take a picture so that I
call this:can then post it. You have already left the present moment.
call this:You are no longer present. You are already time traveling,
call this:right? Like warp speed time traveling into how am I now
call this:going to share this in such a way to promote my business, to
call this:promote my program, to promote my product, to like do you know
call this:what I'm saying? Now, some of you might say this doesn't apply
call this:to me, and that's great, awesome. If you're already
call this:living this way, awesome. And I'm not saying we should never
call this:post on social media or anything again.
call this:I'm just saying notice how we pull ourselves out of the
call this:moments with these people, with the people you love, your
call this:friends, your family, whoever, so that we can then start to
call this:think about how I'm going to milk or mine or use this for
call this:something later to tell a story or to add value or to hit my hit
call this:my criteria or my quota of posts for the day or whatever it is.
call this:You know, I personally have found when I post about like if
call this:I post a picture about Bunchy or I post like oh I just made a
call this:huge batch of vegan tempeh stew yeah like 50 people will like it
call this:a bunch of people will comment on it sometimes even more you
call this:know I have a post on Instagram where we we've had for I haven't
call this:seen her this summer so I'm a little heartbroken because I
call this:don't know if she's around, but we we have had this beloved
call this:three legged dia, who has graced our property for like the last
call this:seven seven years, and I did a video of her and I put it on
call this:Instagram. It's gotten like 2.3 million views or something, 2.1
call this:million views. I don't know, it's pretty high, but it's over
call this:2 million views, and it was just posting a picture, like a little
call this:video of my dear friend Trixie, who I love, right? So, but so if
call this:I just post about like animals or I post something silly,
call this:right? Tons of views. Anytime I try to post about something
call this:where I'm trying to help other people, like whether that's I
call this:post about my podcast episode this week or I post about my
call this:Write Club workshop P.S. That's coming up this Saturday,
call this:Saturday september 26, at the 11th letter writing gallery in
call this:Concord. If you want to come, but if I post about my yoga
call this:class or my Thai yoga massage or stuff that I'm creating and
call this:offering, it just gets buried. It gets buried and nobody sees
call this:it. And these are things that I really want to share with people
call this:because I'm like, this could be the solution to somebody's
call this:problem. This could be something that somebody needs to hear.
call this:This could be a story that could make a difference. You know what
call this:I mean? So, but none of those things actually make it
call this:anywhere. Maybe like three people see them because the
call this:thing now with the algorithm is, if or the business side of it
call this:is, if you're not spending money on Facebook ads or Instagram
call this:ads, they don't want to share your shit. They're like, "Yeah,
call this:no, we're not doing that anymore. We're not giving you
call this:guys free advertising. So the things that really matter to you
call this:for your business, or the things that you're trying to promote to
call this:help others, we just bury that shit, you know. So all this to
call this:say, you guys, it's this isn't that deep of a of a of an
call this:episode, except to say I just kind of clocked the other day
call this:that it's like so often we lose just this real innocence of I'm
call this:just going to be here in the moment watching my kid's soccer
call this:game or watching this thing, and just fully being there and not
call this:feeling like we have to capture it or document it or use it to
call this:put it out there. Do you know what I mean? And if this doesn't
call this:resonate with you, that's okay. Thank you for listening and
call this:scroll on by. But I think it's important that we look at how
call this:and the reason why it kind of gets like you know, as we gets
call this:like you know when it when it does. Or a cat, like the
call this:hackles. They're hackles. Why my hackles get up about this is
call this:that they have trained so many of us. Meaning they, the as I
call this:say, the social media overlords, the mettas and the mus and the
call this:Zuckerbergs and the AI, all of them. They have slowly been kind
call this:of like trying to train the collective conscious, you know,
call this:the consciousness of all of us that if we don't post, we're
call this:invisible. If we aren't having an online life, then we don't
call this:have a life, and it's just not true. I think my prediction is
call this:that more and more and more and more people are going to be
call this:leaving, going to be leaving these apps, and they're gonna
call this:get back to some basics.
call this:They're gonna stop planning. Like, when's the last time?
call this:Think about it. When's the last time? Now, some of you, again,
call this:you might host your family all the time, but when's the last
call this:time you had just like a dinner party at your house where you
call this:invited some people over and you all just sat around and talked.
call this:Everybody put their phones away, and you were totally present
call this:with each other. You know what I mean? Like these things are so
call this:important. There's so many arts that we're losing, like the art
call this:of conversation, the art of communication, the art of
call this:cursive writing, the art of knowing how to write a letter,
call this:the art of knowing how to do. Do you know what I mean? Like
call this:meeting face to face, and having genuine like conversations. All
call this:these things, right? I'd rather you like show me your photo
call this:albums. Do you know what I mean? And now even it's on phones.
call this:Everything's on phones, and people just go scroll, scroll,
call this:scroll. Oh, look! Here's this picture. Here's this picture.
call this:Here's this picture. And now I'm not bagging on all the
call this:technology because I do think it has been helpful. In some ways,
call this:it has allowed us to stay connected, but it also, in a lot
call this:of ways, has us hyperconnected, but in more shallow ways, right?
call this:Or we're just become more lazy in our connection and our
call this:communications. So that's it. Just a little something, just go
call this:out. I guess that's it. Live your life. Go out and just live
call this:your life. Don't worry about like even like I see it all the
call this:time too. He has another example because my sweetie is a
call this:professional musician. I see people go to shows and they hold
call this:up their cameras and they record the whole show or the whole time
call this:they're worried about going live or taking pictures that they can
call this:post later to show people or whatever, and so they're viewing
call this:the actual people in performance through the lens of their phone.
call this:They're not professional photographers who are setting up
call this:a tripod and capturing the whole thing and then watching the show
call this:with their own eyeballs without a screen between them and the
call this:actual performers, right? We're we're not even being present for
call this:our lives as it's happening, because we're using these. It's
call this:almost like putting friggin' like you know when people look
call this:through something through binoculars, right? Back in the
call this:day, you put binoculars on to be able to see long distance or
call this:whatever, and now we put this like screen, this block between
call this:us and the art, us and the music, us and the dance, us and
call this:whatever, because we're so concerned about documenting it.
call this:And I understand the urge. Trust me, I love taking a good
call this:picture, but I also love just putting my fucking phone down
call this:and just being there with people and being in the room and taking
call this:it in and I'm like, you know what? My mind, my brain, my
call this:subconscious, like that's also my photo album. This is where
call this:the memories live, you know. But I wanna, I don't wanna, and I've
call this:said this to my sweetie before because there'll be times when
call this:I'll say to him, "Hey, I'm gonna film for you because sometimes
call this:he likes to hear, you know, his tone back, or he wants to hear
call this:his, you know, his voice back, or whatever. If especially if
call this:he's doing a new song, I'll say, yeah, I'll capture these. And I
call this:used to just hold up my phone for him, like for a lot of the
call this:show. Not saying he made me do it or anything, but lately I've
call this:said to him, like, hey, if there's a couple of songs you
call this:want me to record or take picture, I'll do that. But I
call this:just want to put my phone down so I can just be there and have
call this:the experience, you know. And I'm a documenter. Don't get me
call this:wrong; like I'm a writer. I love to capture things. I love to jot
call this:down notes. I love to snap a picture here and there. But I
call this:think we've we've kind of traded real life for the digital life
call this:in a lot of ways, and I think a lot of people are getting rich
call this:off of it because they've trained us to think that we need
call this:to share every single aspect of our lives, and we don't.
call this:And not only that, a lot of people don't care, and a lot of
call this:people don't have your best interests at heart, and a lot of
call this:people they hit the like button and they move on, but there's
call this:really no real connection. So for me, I think I just want to
call this:start really being more present in my life. I mean, I'm pretty
call this:present in my life, but even more so, like put down the
call this:phones, just live your life. Don't worry about the seven
call this:steps or the five. Or the posts, or how you're going to mine this
call this:thing. What like just be there, just be there for yourself, be
call this:there for your experiences, be there for your relationships,
call this:and let's just see what happens. And if you take me up on this,
call this:and like I said, do it for half a day, do it on Sundays, do it
call this:for a few hours, whatever it is. And I'm not saying oh, digital
call this:detox, you know, I'm not saying oh these devices are evil. I'm
call this:just saying I think we're going to start to have a shift back to
call this:people just wanting more simpler times and and less just less
call this:digital life and more real in person life. So that's what I
call this:got for you today. Thank you so much for listening. If you want
call this:to find out what I'm up to, anything that's going on, like
call this:anything like Thai yoga, body work, Thai yoga massage, if
call this:you're local to you know the Concan New Hampshire area, my
call this:yoga class is sold out, so that's why I don't really
call this:promote it that much. And my you know I do hot to hot days like
call this:coaching, I do all those things, right? Yeah, you can find
call this:everything. Just go to KarenKenney.com, Write Club,
call this:whatever it is. It's really easy to find me, and I would love to
call this:to bump it to you in real life sometime. Wouldn't that be so
call this:cool? So thank you for listening. I appreciate you so
call this:much. Wherever you go, may you leave the animals, may you leave
call this:the planet and the other people in yourself better than how you
call this:found it. Wherever you go, may you and your energy and your
call this:attitude and your love and your real in person, real time
call this:presence be a blessing. Bye. Hey, thanks so much for
call this:listening to the show. I really love spending some time
call this:together. Now, if you dig the show or know someone that could
call this:benefit from this episode, please share it with them and
call this:help me to spread the good word and the love. And if you want to
call this:be in the know about all of my upcoming shenanigans, head on
call this:over to karenkenney.com/signup and join my list. It'll be
call this:wicked fun to stay in touch. Bye.