During the meeting, Tonia D Benas interviewed Peggy Easterling, the coach of The Mindset School. Peggy shared her personal journey of healing and growth after being sexually molested by her grandfather as a child. She emphasized the importance of acknowledging and feeling the pain in order to heal and grow, and how she found healing through her faith and a year-long process of unpacking her emotions with God. Peggy also discussed the importance of mindset and how to take control of one's thoughts, offering a breakthrough quiz to help people understand where they are on their mindset journey.

Welcome journey of you family. I am so excited today for you to get to meet with Coach Peggy Easter, Link of the Mindset School. I can't wait to hear her story and have her share it with you as well, and then it just bring great value for you in your journey. So welcome, Coach Peggy. We're so glad to have you.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

4:07

It is such an honor to be here. Thank you, Tonya, so much for the invitation, and for inviting me into this space.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

4:15

Absolutely, absolutely. Tell us a little bit about you.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

4:20

I'm Peggy Easterling yes I am married and I'm the mother of two amazing children they are adults now it's it's hard to even admit that even though they are already twenty four and twenty five years old it goes so quickly and so yeah I amm a coach and I also furry dogs that live with me right now that really run the house around here.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

4:52

Sounds about right, sounds about right. Well, I know you talked about being a coach, a wife, and a mom. Tell me kind of from the beginning up until now, how you got to where you are now and just kind of what that journey look like for you.

Peggy Easterling shares her journey of healing and growth.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

5:08

Story really starts from a long time ago when I was a child myself and um, so when I a kid, we used to go out to my grandparents house every single week and we would just play and have so much fun after church and they would cook this meal. I don't know if your grandma's house was like mine, but the spread, I mean, and you know, they served that stuff in the Tupperware dish and when they put it back in the fridge, you didn't know what it was, but it was gonna be good. Yeah, we had that whole table spread out and it was so good.

But every single week the kids would go outside and we would play. I'm telling you we wore out many, many a swing set back in the day and we played outside absolutely.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

5:59

Hey.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

6:03

It was my favorite day of the week. I look forward to playing with my cousins single week. But when I was eight, that all changed for me. One day when my grandfather sexually molested me and um, it didn't happen on a Sunday, but it happened in that same home. And then a, I, I remember very vividly just holding that in and just keeping that to myself. And then two days later I remember like I was washing dishes and standing in a chair while I was doing the dishes and then I just felt so much internal pressure and I remember climbing down from that chair and I literally just physically collapsed in the floor.

I didn't mean to, just my body just. I just couldn't go any further and I just fell into a puddle and just bawled. And my mom walked into the room and back then we had these ugly yellow linoleum floors and our washer and dryer were in the same room as the kitchen. And I just fell in space. There my mom found me and she, I remember just telling her everything that had happened and thinking that, you know, that one time event was gonna be behind me and that was gonna be it. But although another event such as that didn't happen, what happened is she took the information to my father and when she took it to him, she, she said she would come back and tell me how they would handle it.

And then from there I had to continue to go to my grandparents every single week and pretend like everything didn't happen and I was told I couldn't tell or it would hurt. And from that moment on for the rest of my life, I was just, I knew I had to pretend I was something. I, I was not that I had to put a mask over my wa, over my face and pretend that I was okay, that everything was okay and continue those baseball and things my cousins, but I wasn't allowed to speak of what happened to me. And it changed my life, it changed the wiring of my brain.

Since I've learned in psychology how that really does affect your brain, of how you position yourself and how you change yourself to p self protect and that preservation that happens,

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

8:26

Yeahp.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

8:32

it literally is a physical transformation of your brain. But I really grew From that space I didn't know until I was in my forties that it still had power over me.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

8:51

Let's walk through that a little bit because I'm sure there are people listening that have been in that same place as you and maybe they too were told, you know, let's not talk about it anymore, you know, it's over now, move forward. But it sounds like your body internally still felt that and you still had to carry that. How did you kind of walk through? I know you talked about knowing now kind of how to explain it, but how did you actually walk through that without being able to tell anyone else or actually have it addressed?

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

9:20

So there were a few times in my life where I shared with very, very close people to me as some best friends and in that space I was very cautious of, you can't say anything, you can't tell, but um, they, they were respectful of me in my request, but I, I was still required every Sunday to go out to those grandparents home and be. I remember so vividly that fear and anxiety that I had just being in that space where my abuser was, and I thank God that that didn't happen a 2nd time to me. But I know that there are so many people that their story is even more.

Just walked through that space of I've gotta pretend this is just how it is and I didn't know any different. I knew that that's exactly what I was told to do. I knew sup posed obedient to my parents. You know, I was raised in the church and knew that I needed to honor my father and mother. Looking back on that reflectively, I do honor my father and mother, and I love them with all of my heart. They were doing the best they knew how at the time, but we, we swept everything on the rug and, and people tripped on it and people kept tripping on it.

And it, it didn't serve. It doesn't serve a family to keep those secrets and to hide things. And I'm really glad that people respond a little differently today to those things. And it's okay a little more to say things that have happened than it used to be.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

11:06

That's true, I can agree with that. And knowing kind of full circle where you are now, what would you say was the turning point that really started to help you be able to talk about it and be able to release some of those feelings that you've been carrying, holding in for so long?

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

11:23

It was very unexpected. I was on my journey. You know, I've been on a staff at a couple of churches and gone and done some amazing things in my 20 s and 30 s in life, but I was on my journey to get my Bison's professional counselor. Bachelor's degree and I wanted to get my bachelor's degree. I went to this internship and in the midst of all that, God just was dealing with me internally. He was just helping me to unpack so much and to Um, guide me through this process. And I thought that I was in an internship to help other people.

Well, I showed up in the space in a twelve step program and God unpacked my heart in that space. I was there to help other people. But I tell you what, God helps me through that journey. I have this great chair in my home and I tell you it means so much to me because that's where I let forty years worth of tears flow like I unpacked uh the the suicide that happened to my nephew a few years back I unpacked the death of my father when he was thirty nine and I was sixteen and he passed away of cancer I unpacked all of these life events that I had just taken that and pushed it down and suppressed it and not allowed myself to feel and I felt feeling I felt feelings so sometimes you've heard people say you gotta feel it to heal it I believe that because that was the space where I was in denial of my feelings I was in denial that things happen to me and so many times people say I don't want to be a victim but they have to go through the process of admitting I was victimized and when they will admit will victimized.

What happens is they don't deny reality because that that child, whether it was their childhood, but the person that they were in that space, they wanted be recognized. They want to be seen for the things that they've overcame. We, you know, we all want to be recognized and seen. And I'm not saying we want to be an influencer on social media. That's not what I want for my life, but here's what I want to do. I wanna where I've come from and who I am as a person. And when I deny the things that I went through and the pages and the story of my book, I rip out part of myself.

Increased Engagement

And that was a page in my story and that was denying even happened. And there, like I said, were several other pages that I denied. And life doesn't have to always be sunshine and roses. We, those spaces where we overcame those things that were hard are the Ti sometimes when we grew the most that God brought the most growth in our lives. And if we rip out that page, we're ripping out the glory of God in the moments where he redeemed our stories from the pit we're redeeming, we're ripping out that growth that went up that heel that was so deep that we never thought we would overcome.

So I just, that is where I got, I got at the end of my own rope, and I'm like, I'm not doing this anymore. For me, I acknowledge what God is doing in this space right now and I give up, I surrender. It's not about me, it's about him. And I let him unpack the basement in my heart in that space. And I've never been the same since.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

15:10

Wow, I love it, I love it. Awesome story of being able to actually unpack and feel those things even in that moment. Can you remember what was that, to actually have to feel it and be able to sit through everything that you had packed for so long.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

15:28

For me, it wasn't just one moment. It was a daily time with God for about a year and I would spend hours a day sitting in that chair with him and just surrendering. Now everyone's journey is different and some people get that to get that in chest one moment,

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

15:46

Hey.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

15:50

but I had to sit with God and he just peeled those layers back and like a, like an onion, you know, just here we are, we're gonna unpack this, we're gonna unpack this. And in that I just sat and surrender and I focused on his word and whatever he had for me in that moment and was leading me to and I would just give it to him and pray with him and sit with him. I'm telling you that great chair, those tears that are there, that are there, they have so much meaning. But I finally in that space gave that that child.

That I was in that years ago, I showed that girl some compassion, but I also at the same time, I didn't ever acknowledge that I had feelings of being hurt by my parents. I never acknowledged that because I was like, I have to honor my mom and dad, I have to honor my mom and dad, I have to honor them, and I never wanted to speak out against them. And please hear me when I say this, I'm not speaking out against my parents, I'm acknowledging truth. I love my parents with all of my heart. But I'll tell you what, when I was in my forties and I did this process of unpa and unpacking, I got angry at my mom in my forties.

How silly is that that I felt anger in my forties at my mother. You know, there was a space of unforgiveness that I had there that had no idea even existed because I wasn't realizing the truth of my life and my true feelings that I had. For that girl that I was trying, that I needed to offer some compassion to you. And when I acknowledged it, God healed that space and I had to feel the feelings necessary to get on the other side. And that anger that I had for her was only for a moment. I But it was acknowledging, hey, that happened and it wasn't right and no, I can't sit and hate and blame, but that acknowledgement of that was not okay to be exposed in that space and to deny the fact that that happened and not I.

I felt unprotected as a child, but I have grace and love and compassion in that space and unforgiven and that forgiveness to replace that unforgiveness that I didn't even know existed.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

18:27

And I think that's beautiful because you talked about it was that you were angry in the forties. But it's not because you didn't get to be angry when you were eight. When it happened, you just packed it in because like you said, you were honoring and your mother. And so now that you have unpacked it, you were facing those feelings from way back when you were eight. So it does make sense that Eer came in and those feelings of un protection, but how amazing is God to still be able to come in and fill in all those empty herding places?

Peggy Easterling's Journey to Coaching

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

18:54

And I know that you mentioned being on a path to study to become a license counselor. How did you go from that to now? Coaching? What did that journey like,

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

19:06

I was on my journey to be that license professional counselor. And God just he stepped into that space. I had sat so long in my stud and in, in a room really just doing my online studies. I knew that my journey forward would be a one on one space. But God was telling me in that in that time, he was like, No, I want you to have a bigger impact. Your story is gonna have a bigger impact than just one on one exclusively. Your story will have something more to offer. And then I began to explore that with him, and coaching became the space that he led me to.

And uh, I became certified with Kingdom Coach Hq and got my list Light Coach certification there. And I am in a group of light minded Kingdom Coaches ready to change the world with that message and help others yes in a one on one space but also we have other things to offer I offer a membership there and where I help others in that space as well where women their lives are being transformed and I'm so it you know it it's not me it is one hundred percent them and god doing the work together they're sitting in whatever their uh great chair of their life is and they're having their great cheer moments with god and they're unpacking their own heart basements to him and the breakthrough that comes to the only the other side of god I give it my own way and I surrender you it's so amazing because we I just I felt protected my entire life and I didn't know any other way but there is another way and it's not a way of striving which we think it might be it is a surrender in that posture that I have it's Bring me today to impact others lives with, with my own story and with the message and God's using His, His word to transform their hearts and lives, and it's powerful.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

21:21

love that, I love that. Let's think about women who may be in that great chair even right now. What word would you give to them to encourage them to one process through and feel what they have been packing in? And then that hope of, okay, I can keep going, I can keep fighting for another day.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

21:44

So the 1st thing that I would ask you to do is just admit, admit that you're powerless and that you can't do this on your own. If you're like me. You didn't want community, you didn't want help. You isolated yourself because you are protecting yourself. And that isolation, I mean just think of an animal when he is his self, isolates himself from the pack, he becomes vulnerable and he is vulnerable to attack. And that's exactly where Satan wants you. He wants you alone. And to think that you are alone and that you are someone whose story is absolutely unique.

And yes, our stories are unique to us. But I tell you what, there are other women out there and other people out there in the world who have gone through similar things. And if you would listen and let other people in the words that they can sharee because they have the rope that you need to climb out of that hole It is so powerful that you have to be willing to admit this is where I'm at and I can't do it on my own anymore. The times I put up walls and the mask of self protection, they haven't protected me anyway.

I feel all alone and isolated and I'm not going anywhere from this. And I want you to realize that God loves you more than you can possibly know, and He's here for you and He will support you as you admit those things that you needed to process. As you grab them and process them, he is gonna wrap his arms around you and maybe your journey takes a bit too. There is support and you don't have to sit in your grey chair alone exclusively get help, lett people in. And I understand that people have hurt you in the past and that's hard.

I understand that completely. But if you will just begin to lett others into that space, that a little bit of rope that can show you a path where God can help you heal that space. Then he He truly will be there for you every step of the journey, and you don't have to do it alone.

Interview with Peggy Easterling from The Mindset School

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

24:07

Just really, even to seal that word, would you be willing to ha over the women that are listening right now and just confirm that word in their spirit as well?

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

24:16

I would love to. De Heavenly Father, I just thank You so much for these women that are listening. I just thank You for their hearts that are so tender right now.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

24:25

Hey.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

24:31

They've been hurt by the world and you see their pain. Lord, do you wanna take that pain from them? And you did when you took it on the cross and you took that pain and you bore it for us so that we don't have to bear the weight of it anymore. Thank you for that, thank you for being a redeeming God, that wherever the story is in life right now, right now in Jesus name, you can redeem that story in that life and you can take that pain and replace it with love and peace and healing. And I thank you for that peace that passes all understanding that can come, as they welcome you into that God size hole in their heart.

That they've tried to protect in their own ways. I thank you for filling that space with that peace that passes all understanding. And she's a smarty name. Amen.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

25:42

Thank you so much, Peggy. I greatly appreciate thinking over your entire journey thus far. Are there any moments that you really want to share or dream with the women?

Increased Engagement

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

25:54

One of the biggest aha moments I had for myself, that is just transformational. And why I start, why I started the mindset school is because I really realized the 2nd Corinthians Ten five principle.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

26:05

Zero.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

26:10

It says we demolish arguments in every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

26:11

True.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

26:18

and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Every thought. And so what I want you to realize is so many times this was my aha moment, I didn't realize that I got to choose. The thoughts were in my mind. I get that choice. I get to choose what I allow to stay in my mind. And that is when I let Satan have that battlefield that he wins.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

26:48

Young.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

26:50

But I, when I take that space and the, the thing for me, the big Aha. The thing that I thought were actual facts, they weren't, they were just circumstances, and the reason why they had so much power over me was because I thought that they were facts in the world that existed aspects. But it was the thoughts that I had about the facts, the thoughts that I allowed Satan to feed me about the facts that stole 40 years of my life, and I do not want your listeners to waste one more day allowing Satan that part of their mind.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

27:26

Height.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

27:32

You get to choose intentionally what you think about in your mind, and there is peace available to you right here and right now.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

27:44

Okay, so if they want to figure out where they are in their mindset right now and they needed to separate those thoughts and facts, from where could they get started?

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

27:52

I have a great tool that's a wonderful start and it is called the break through quiz and you can find that at the mindset school dot net slash quiz the mindset school dot net slash quiz and it is such a great tool to see like where you're at on your mindset journey there are people that need professional help there are people and that's okay I have some professional counselors that have come into this space that have spoken at the mindset school I can connect you I have tools and resources in that space so but if you are on your journey and you need community and you need to just say some things out loud in a community space that where you are right now community would serve you we have that for you too and this quizz kind of helps you separate that and understand where you're at.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

28:52

love that. I love that because not only can they the counseling that they need, but they also other men that they can walk through this journey too. Because we all need each other iron sharp and fine. So I love that you provide both of those, and I just want to make sure that everybody remembers. That's the mindset school, Dot nett, Ford Slash quiz. Go there right now and fill it out and see where you're at on your journey. Peggy I really appreciate you coming out and speaking with us today, sharing your story and even just your birth and purpose.

I know that there were hard things that you went through, but I just appreciate your transparency and just the beauty of God being able to use it and use your gift now to help other women.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

29:29

Thank you so much. It has been such an honor to talk to you, and I've read your story as well and the impact that you're having with what you're doing. It's it's beautiful, so thank you for being a gift to the world.

Tonia D Benas - The Journey of You

29:43

thank you I appreciate it I appreciate it and journey of you family let's continue the conversation absolutely hop over to the journey of you dot net let's keep talking about it and let's continue all with coach peggy as well I hope you'll have a great rest of your day remember this is your life's where your life begins that was awesome.

Peggy Easterling: THE MINDSET SCHOOL

30:04

Thank you, thank you.