An inquiry into manners, philosophy, & the meaning of life that somehow ended up rated 18+. Yes, the author is just as confused as you are.

Today's story is “Of His Flesh the Mystery Sing” by B. P. Rugger. Rugger lives in Ottawa, Canada with his kitten, Stephane, and his pups, Dagda and Kale.  Though he writes muggle fiction under his legal name, D.I. Harris, he feels most at home in the furry community, which he has been part of since 1996. Yes, he is that old.

Rugger began writing at 7, and keeps coming back to fiction.  He is hard at work on his first novel, The Quantity of Desire.

Read for you by Khaki, your faithful fireside companion.

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Today I'm reading an adult story for mature listeners.

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If that's not your cup of tea,

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or if there are youngsters listening,

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you can skip this one and

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I'll have a new story for you next time.

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You’re listening to The Voice of Dog.

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I’m Khaki, your faithful fireside companion,

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and today’s story is

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“Of His Flesh the Mystery Sing”

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by B. P. Rugger. Rugger lives in Ottawa, Canada with his kitten, Stephane, and his pups, Dagda and Kale.

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Though he writes muggle fiction under his legal name,

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D.I. Harris, he feels most at home in the furry community,

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which he has been part of

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since 1996.

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Yes, he is that old.

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Rugger began writing at 7,

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and keeps coming back to fiction.

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He is hard at work on his first novel,

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The Quantity of Desire.

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“Of His Flesh

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the Mystery Sing”

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by B. P. Rugger Life's most appropriate questions always come up at life's most inappropriate times.

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So it is that I, about to slide my raw cock into this absolutely gorgeous bear at an

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orgy—thick with muscle and fat, he has a

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soft, cuddly belly framed by broad, powerful shoulders,

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so fucking hot, but it’s his face that really turns me on:

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he has the cutest rainbow markings on his cheeks,

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and his eyes are open,

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friendly, eager, and,

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I notice with excitement,

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a little bit afraid of me

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—think of the Catholic saint and philosopher,

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Thomas Aquinas. I’m sorry.

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Now, I assure you that, despite my grey muzzle,

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I am not yet senile.

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My brain is not firing through long-forgotten connections between Aquinas and bear-fucking from my university days. And, no,

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I did not think about Aquinas because he's the saint known for his

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pillowy corpulence,

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though we both do have bellies—don't be crude.

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No, no, I thought of Aquinas

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because Thomas Aquinas was, like me,

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a giant pervert who made sex a big part of his life.

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Though, of course, right now he would be aroused by anger instead of,

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well, arousal. But this is really not the time to think of St. Tom.

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Here is this sexy, beefy bear, lying on his back with his legs rising into the air.

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His eyes look into mine, coyly begging for me to fuck him.

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And, before we started making out, when we lay naked on the mat, my hand stroking his round,

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yielding-yet-firm belly

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as we discussed politics and art and video games,

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he told me how he wanted me to ravage him,

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trample him like the bull I am while everyone watched him become mine.

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Kinky bear. Almost as perverted as me.

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How often does an old, depraved exhibitionist like me get this opportunity?

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I simply cannot pass it up.

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And I remember that the bear said that he was just visiting from Vancouver.

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Could I really hold myself responsible for ruining his vacation by excusing myself

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because I need to think about philosophy?

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It sounds fake, even to my ears, and I’m the one who wants to do it.

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I suppress a sigh.

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This old bull knows himself:

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despite it all, I do want to go to a quiet place

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and think about Thomas Aquinas.

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Dammit. Why don’t himbo potions exist in real life?

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If only Emily Post had written on this:

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“When one has found oneself within an orgy, it behooves oneself to act in such a way

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that demonstrates utmost respect for the sexuality of each fur there.

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No matter how bizarre a neighbours’ sexual practices appear to a fur witnessing them,

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be they placing thick steel rods within their urethra

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or drinking the breast milk of their partner,

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furs of character will simply disregard sexual behaviours

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that bring them no pleasure.

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Now, etiquette must,

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if it is to be of more than trifling use,

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include ethics as well as manners;

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thus, a fur of good breeding may,

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when observing an scene in which consent appears in question,

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ensure said consent

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and mutual enjoyment.

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Beyond that, however,

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it is the hallmark of manners at an orgy

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to focus on the sexual practices

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that bring one pleasure,

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and judge not the practices of others.

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Now, a fur of good breeding, being wide-read in philosophy,

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may think of St. Thomas Aquinas during the orgy,

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and feel a need to indulge in some navel-gazing thinking,

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but he must simply suck it up

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and go through with fucking his bear.”

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My brain tried to think of any way I could get out of this

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—and hopefully still fuck

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him later. I could, of course,

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think of St. Tom enough that I go soft

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and then plead erectile dysfunction.

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That could work, actually:

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then he would properly blame me for the failure, and,

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since he is from out of town,

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my reputation here would be mostly intact.

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Though would he take that personally, as though I were not repulsed by him?

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And who else would he be fucked by?

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Let’s face it: this is a furry orgy.

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I’m one of the only gay tops here, and the few other ones already have a line of eager bottoms.

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He would be left alone in the middle of an orgy,

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feeling the self-loathing of ostracization.

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Such a result is unconscionable.

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Alas, I have no recourse.

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I must fuck him. Suppressing a sigh,

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I place his legs on my shoulders

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and then lean in to lock my lips on his.

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As I grab his wrists and pin them above his head, I push thoughts of St. Tom to the back of my head,

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and slide into him.

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He gives out the sweetest sound a fur can:

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the husky breath from the release of anticipation as my cock first presses against him,

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but that turns into a slight hiss of pain

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as my flat cockhead works its way in.

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Finally, his ass opens to me just as his hiss opens into a broad moan of pleasure,

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and his eyes and head roll back.

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Such a perfect bottom.

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His hips arch up,

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willing my cock to slide in deeper and deeper,

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to one’s fundamental meaning, which is what Aquinas thought generated morality. You see,

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Plato, had demonstrated that good was separate from God,

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for if God created good, then it was arbitrary. But if good existed outside God, then God was not absolute.

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Aquinas’s solution was ingenious:

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good is separate from God, true,

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but good is for a thing to act in accordance with its purpose.

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Since God created us and our world,

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God decides our purpose and thus what moral action is.

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And thus, gay sex is evil because our genitals are made for procreation

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and gay sex is not procreation

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(as much as I wish it were),

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and therefore the Catholic Church’s odd position on homosexuality:

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you can be gay, but not have gay sex.

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Only when you act against your purpose are you evil,

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like me using my cock to cum inside this bear…. Shit. I had forgotten. I’m fucking a bear right now.

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I look down at the bear.

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Thankfully, my many years of fucking seem to have allowed me to do it on autopilot

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—age does have its advantages

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—though I’ve begun to go a bit soft.

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I start fucking him harder,

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driving my hips deep into his ass.

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I lean forward and bite deep into his neck;

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the fur parts, and I feel my flat teeth sink into his tender flesh,

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marking him and eliciting a yelp of pain and arousal.

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Then I moo into his ear,

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telling him that he’s mine,

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that he belongs to me,

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that if right action is action in accordance with one’s purpose,

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then in serving and obeying me,

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he is acting morally, whatever Aquinas thinks.

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For I am not thinking of Aquinas from some latent homophobia;

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my more conservative upbringing has been fully quashed,

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and I have been indulging without guilt for many years now.

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To me, St. Tom's condemnation is as quaint as the flat Earth preachers are to an astronaut. And yet

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St. Tom, for all his silly conflation of is and ought,

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had something we do not.

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No, I don't mean faith,

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atheist that I am;

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I'm no Matthew Arnold, who experienced a taste of freedom and recoiled in a stagnant panic.

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I recognise that the absence of heaven

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means that this amazing world is no longer a mere testing-ground for an afterlife,

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but a beautiful, vibrant, living planet

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with boundless pleasures and meanings.

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But, still, for Saint Thomas Aquinas, sex was something magical.

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Sex wasn’t just fun:

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it brought us closer to what is good in the universe

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(provided it was only for procreation).

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We were using our bodies the way they were intended to be used,

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and there was nothing more important than that.

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Procreation was a sacred act.

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Of course the very idea is absurd, and remains an embarrassment to the Catholic Church,

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which still endorses it.

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Under Aquinas's theory,

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using a golf club to save a person who is about to fall off a cliff

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would be horribly immoral,

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as a golf club's purpose is hitting a ball.

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How dare you use it to save someone's life!

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That’s as bad as me using my cock to fuck a cute beefy bear, and of course I would never do

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—DAMMIT! Look, brain.

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I get that you’re excited by Aquinas. But you can be excited by him tomorrow. Or even tonight!

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Right now, I just need you to get onboard with me fucking this bear now.

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Everyone else is having fun,

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fucking, watching others fuck,

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listening to the sighs of satisfaction and the slurp of suction.

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And this bear is moaning so well,

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the moan turning into a grunt with every thrust.

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He’s arching his back more and more.

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His hands, still pinned by mine, grab my wrists.

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“Take me,” he growls.

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“I’m your little slut, big bull.

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bull.” Fuck. He knows how to get me hard.

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But there is something about St. Tom's wacky ideas that just won't let me focus on this bear.

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Sure, St. Tom was an idiot,

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but is this it for me now?

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Is this fuck all?

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After this, will I simply go home with drained balls,

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a fond memory, and a twitter handle;

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will I go back to my life as if this made no difference to whom I am?

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Have I discarded St. Tom’s ethics

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to embrace hedonistic nihilism?

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Some part of my brain notices that the lust is starting to go out of his eyes.

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I've been too wrapped up in my thoughts to be a good top

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—I've just been mechanically thrusting like some fucking machine

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—and now I'm letting him down.

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Is there some other top I can pass him off to,

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claiming—not untruthfully

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—to have a cuck fetish?

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No, the only other furs around me are other bottoms, watching and stroking themselves,

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hoping for some bullcock once this bear’s done.

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There's no other way.

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I must redeem myself.

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I bring his arms together above his head,

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then place each palm against the elbow of the opposite arm so I can pin him

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with one hand. My other hand grabs him by the neck, my keratinous

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fingers digging deep into his skin.

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I watch his eyes as I squeeze,

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seeing the pain, excitement, and fear come together.

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He’s struggling to breathe;

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he knows he’s under my control.

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“Your life is mine now, cub,”

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I low, but I force it too much and it comes out affected.

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I sound like one of those insecure leather Daddies who don’t have the confidence that they will be obeyed,

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and so they shout every order like a child having a tantrum.

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“Yes, Daddy,” He breathes,

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and that voice is so sexy:

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all husky because he can barely speak through my grip.

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Well, I guess it wasn’t overacted that badly, then.

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I squeeze his neck harder;

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he tries to gasp,

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but almost nothing comes out.

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I can see his eyes begin to glaze over as his world blackens,

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and is reduced to my cock slamming into him.

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Then I let go, the blood flowing back into his brain as my hand slides down his body and rests on his balls.

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I watch the world slowly come back to him

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and just as he remembers where he is,

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I squeeze, hard. He yelps,

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and I see a few heads turn to us.

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“Everyone knows you’re my bitch,”

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I say with a leer.

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“I’m your bitch, Daddy,”

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he says, his voice hoarse with pain and pleasure and

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yes, it is true that pleasure is an important part of life.

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I’m no ascetic:

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they renounce pleasure and take pride instead.

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There are enough real evils to resist that I need not wear a hair shirt to make more.

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But have I really devoted so much of my life to mere pleasure?

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The gear, the slings, the dildoes, the grunting workouts,

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the hours spent on apps...

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all for a few thrusts in half-light?

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Aristotle said that to exert ourselves and work for amusement

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is silly; instead,

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we amuse ourselves and relax so that we may exert ourselves.

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And yet I exert myself for sex.

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Masturbation is relaxing;

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I lie back after a long day to reward myself with an explosion of pleasure.

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Sex gives relief,

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but it’s the kind of relief I’ve worked for,

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like finishing a project:

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it fulfills me. Am I just shallow?

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Despite my grey fur, am I just a sex-crazed bull who can’t separate his hormones from his goals and dreams?

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Though I must confess,

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the grey fur has helped my sex life;

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all these cute cubs call me Daddy,

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just like that sexy bear did while I was fucking him at that orgy.

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That had been fun, despite the fact that I had gone on some weird philosophical tangent during it.

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My brain, sometimes. It just won’t shut up!

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Something about that orgy reverberates in the back of my mind.

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I try to let it pass

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—this is my time to philosophise.

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I toughed out fucking that bear and now I am…

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where am I? I can’t remember,

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so I open my eyes, and there is the bear, looking up at me,

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eyes pleading. Well, fuck.

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“I want your calves inside me Daddy,”

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he says, and damn if he doesn’t seem to know all my fetishes.

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Why do I have to be fucking him now?

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I lean into him, my hips still rhythmically fucking.

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I lick his cheek, then moo into his ear,

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“Daddy’s gonna fill your belly with his calves, cub.

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You’re gonna go home knowing Daddy’s calves are growing inside you.”

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His ass clenches around my cock,

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and damn, that feels good.

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But it’s more than just feeling good:

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I feel alive. I really, really wish I was fucking him almost any time but now.

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Tomorrow! Two hours from now! Yesterday!

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Every day for the rest of my life!

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Let’s be honest, though. If I told my friends that I got distracted by a Catholic philosopher during an orgy, they would simply say I reached peak me.

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“You’ve heard of distracted driving,”

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they would say, “but now, something even more insidious: distracted fucking.

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Symptoms include unfulfilled bottoms,

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an inability to finish,

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and a pompous, boring personality that thinks homophobic, 800 year-old Catholic philosophers are fascinating.”

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I can’t help it. Aquinas is fascinating!

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He brought natural philosophy—the precursor to science

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—back into favour

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after it had been condemned as irreligious.

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A hundred years before Aquinas,

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Al-Ghazali had turned the most advanced civilization in the world into a scientific backwater,

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and here Aqunias was dragging the backwards Europeans

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into the modern age.

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I feel alive thinking about Aquinas.

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Just like I feel alive writing.

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Just like I felt alive

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flirting with that cute bear,

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my cockhead pressing against his ass

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—before I had the misfortune of thinking of St. Tom.

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My whole body quivers from brain to toe,

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and I feel fulfilled,

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complete. Like I am accomplishing my purpose in this world.

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How can I explain that?

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St. Tom’s answer is crazy, and yet here I am with none.

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Can I just pull a Socrates?

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“The only true knowledge is knowing you know nothing.”

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There we go, case closed.

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I know nothing, and thus have true knowledge. so I can fuck this bear now.

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Please, brain? I’ll let you read philosophy after!

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And yet, even as I push my body to fuck this bear deeper and harder,

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my tongue hanging out of my mouth trying desperately to cool my hot body,

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I feel the answer struggling to come out.

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My vocal chords vibrate eagerly with every hot pant of breath.

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Half-formed syllables ooze out of my sweat glands.

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The slap of my balls on his ass hits my ears like the sudden start before the eureka moment.

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My body and mind are primed for the euphoria of discovery.

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And yet I find myself unsatisfied,

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as though I were so close to cumming inside a gorgeous bear but couldn’t finish because I was too busy thinking

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about St. Tom. But that would never happen.

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Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way.

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What would I miss, if I were to stop having sex?

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if I devoted all that energy and money to my writing,

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to learning, to making the world a better place?

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I would certainly have a lot more time to put into my other goals.

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And yet I feel that I just wouldn't be as good somehow,

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that my judgement would be compromised and my energy diminished.

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But how? I must consider the possibility that my feelings are misguided,

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and all this effort really is just for a few moments of hedonistic pleasure;

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the only real downside to sublimating sex

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is the danger of our bottled-up desires exploding out in immoral

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or unhealthy ways.

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Of course, that would be a danger for me.

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My sex drive is strong,

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and it’s hard to imagine I could give up fucking such a gorgeous bear.

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I watch his belly swell as his legs squeeze my shoulders.

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How could I give that up?

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And his face, unf. His eyes gorge themselves on my big strong body,

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his admiration of me only interrupted by spasms of pleasure and pain that make his spine and neck arch back.

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I notice a spurt of precum soak the soft fur of his belly;

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I bring my hand up from his balls

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and rub it into that strong, wide torso.

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I smile to myself; this bear is

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perfect. And he’s mine now.

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I’m gonna fill him up.

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But, no, I'm supposed to be thinking of Aquinas and the meaning of life, not this bear!

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Just let yourself fuck mechanically until

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—wait, no, didn't I want to forget about Aquinas until later and enjoy the moment?

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What do I event want anymore?!

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I grunt in frustration and anger, and let go of his hands and belly.

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Then I grab his left leg

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and swing it over my head and horns;

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for a moment, he pirouettes on my cock before I pop out

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and his knee comes down on the mat they’ve covered the floor with.

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Suddenly finding himself on all fours,

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he gives a cry of shock and arousal.

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But I’m not done yet.

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I seize him by the back of his neck

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and force him down into the pillow, muzzle first.

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The pillow envelops his head,

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and he struggles to breathe through the cotton and polyester.

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While I keep him pinned by the back of his neck with that hand,

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I grab his hip with my other hand

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and hold his ass in the air.

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I go to one knee, and try to fix my previous overacting

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by being calm and confident as I say,

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“Ready for Daddy to really pound that ass, cub?”

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But, dammit, I fucked up again.

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Trying to be more calm, I ended up sounding like I was asking for the time.

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But his ass twitches,

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and he moans so sweetly

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that I think he's too far gone to notice.

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He just needs my cock.

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I slam my cock deep into him,

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my hand pulling his ass against me

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even as I thrust with all my might.

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For it is with all my might.

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I want him to know he’s mine.

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That I am using him for my pleasure.

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What an odd sentence.

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I remember when I was a shy and awkward young bull,

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I always bottomed because I was an idiot.

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Not that bottoms are idiots! Simply me.

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I bottomed because I wanted to top.

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As I said, I was an idiot.

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I foolishly assumed everyone wanted to top simply because I did.

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Therefore, the proper and moral thing to do was to abnegate my desires

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and let the other person meet theirs—to do otherwise would be selfish.

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It would be me putting my desires above another’s.

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I thought of morality as a zero-sum game.

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For me to make the world better, I must give up things that I want.

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And logically, isn’t that what it looks like?

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A person who makes sacrifices for the world and others is a good person.

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The epitome of logical morality

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is the hero who charges into the burning orphanage

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and saves a few more children.

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Yes, there are times when sacrifice is called for.

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But, life isn't a zero-sum game;

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it is a game of matching desire to desire.

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Try to fuck another top, and we’ll both end up miserable.

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But by taking my pleasure from this bear,

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I enhance his. I want him to be my obedient slut,

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and he wants to be my obedient slut.

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Morality is not about restraining our desires for our goals and our morals

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—we do that and our feelings become a thing of evil,

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and we lead empty, joyless lives.

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And how can we make the world a better place if we don’t bring our joy,

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our passion, and our love into it?

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Morality is about finding what we want

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—and then finding a way to make the world a better place

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doing it. And this crazy world,

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of passions opposing passions,

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of species and tribes and subcultures,

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of Doms and subs,

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gives us the chance to find our purpose.

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For the diversity

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means that for every thing that I want,

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someone else wants me to take it.

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And take it I will. “Daddy’s gonna breed

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you, cub” I growl, for I feel it building in my balls now.

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Each thurst, I feel the pressure increasing,

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my cockhead tingling.

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I pant, pulling him into me by his neck and his hip.

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Then, with a loud moo that turns the heads of most furs there, I cum,

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my keratinous fingers digging deep into the bear,

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slamming his muzzle into the mat,

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and he growls and squeezes his sphincter,

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roaring with me. Pleasure

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—and fulfillment—roll through my body,

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bucking my hips as the last spurts of cum fill him.

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Slowly, my bucking stops,

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and I collapse on top of him.

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His hips sink to the floor,

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and my belly presses into the curve of his back.

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There, we rest. I whisper in his ear

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—loud enough for our onlookers to hear

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—“You were such a good cub for Daddy.

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Made Daddy cum so hard.

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And you’re gonna have so many of Daddy’s calves growing inside you as your reward, cub.”

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“Thank you, Daddy,” he whispers.

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He wags his little stub of a tail,

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and I feel my oversensitive cockhead, still buried deep inside him,

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twitch. I stroke his head softly.

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“Good cub,” I whisper.

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I smile. It’s an odd smile, and I can’t decide if it’s selfless and loving

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or selfish and sadistic.

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And then I realise.

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It’s both.This was

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“Of His Flesh the Mystery Sing”

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by B. P. Rugger, read for you by Khaki,

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your faithful fireside companion.

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Thank you for listening

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to The Voice of Dog