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#86 (Re) Build Intimacy in Long Distance Relationships - with Dr. Veronique Elefant-Yanni
Episode 8612th January 2026 • Holding the Fort Abroad • Rhoda Bangerter
00:00:00 00:46:53

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Synopsis:

Clinical psychologist Dr. Veronique Elefant-Yanni guides us on how to (re)build emotional intimacy for couples separated by frequent business travel or international assignments. Drawing on her 25 years of experience and her innovative 3D Human Therapy, she explains why sharing day-to-day experiences—even trivial ones—is essential. The conversation covers the invisible pressures of expat life, how to recognize and address codependency, and practical strategies to reconnect across distance. This episode offers actionable advice for maintaining meaningful relationships when work and geography pull families apart.

1. Small Daily Exchanges Build and Preserve Intimacy Sharing everyday experiences—even a passing thought, a funny encounter, or a fleeting feeling—is vital for emotional closeness.

For families dealing with frequent travel or split assignments, these “small talk” exchanges provide the threads that keep relationships strong. It's not the depth of each conversation that matters, but maintaining a consistent flow of communication that mirrors daily life together. When partners make space for regular sharing, even via text or short calls, it helps them reconnect and avoid becoming strangers.

2. Healthy Relationships Require Psychological Independence Balanced couples are made up of individuals who can both “stand on their own two feet”—functioning independently rather than relying on each other for emotional validation.

Frequent travel or split family assignments amplify this need. When partners fall into codependency, it can lead to resentment and dysfunction. Working on personal growth—by cultivating self-worth and independence—empowers couples to share genuine love, rather than need. This foundation is essential for surviving the unique stresses of expatriate or traveling lifestyles.

3. Communication Is Crucial—Don’t Assume, Speak Up Open dialogue about stress, loneliness, or frustration is necessary, especially when life circumstances mean one partner is away and the other is settling in alone.

Expat couples often assume the other understands their burdens, but Dr. Veronique Elefant-Yanni stresses the importance of expressing what you’re experiencing (“Your partner doesn’t know what you go through, so you have to speak”). This is especially important so accompanying spouses don’t feel invisible—communication is the lifeline that maintains empathy and support.

4. Addressing Internal Conflict and Rebuilding Self-Trust Emotional independence often means facing and diffusing internal conflict—like fear, anger, or self-doubt—that might be rooted in early experiences. Dr. Veronique Elefant-Yanni’s 3D Human Therapy model gives practical ways to restore trust in one’s own feelings and decisions. For those separated by work, understanding this process is key to avoiding self-sabotage and ensuring that interactions with loved ones remain constructive and authentic. Her free online guide offers tools for self-work, allowing listeners to begin healing and rebuilding from afar.

Contact Dr Elefant-Yanni

Dr. Elefant-Yanni knows that expat life isn’t always glamorous — it can be disorienting, lonely, and full of invisible pressures. As a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience and the creator of 3D Human Therapy®, she supports internationally mobile individuals and couples to recentre, rebuild connection, and reclaim their vitality. Originally from France and now based between Switzerland and Singapore, Véronique works fully online in French and English, helping clients across continents reconnect with their inner compass.

Website: https://psychologyexperts.online/

Free guide: www.psychologyexperts.online/3dform

Contact Rhoda: rhoda@amulticulturallife.com

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Buy the book: Holding the Fort Abroad

Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone.

OR Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone.

You may be wondering:

  1. How can we be a family when we're miles apart?
  2. Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise?

I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together.

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