How to Effectively Resolve Conflict
Episode #468 with Dr. Erin Elliott
Whether it’s with your team or your patients, resolving conflict may not be your strong point. But you can't avoid it forever! And to help you understand, prevent, and overcome your fear of conflict in your practice, Kirk Behrendt brings back Dr. Erin Elliott, lecturer at 3D Dental, for advice on being more direct and effective when dealing with frustrated patients and team members. For the best strategies to resolve conflict, listen to Episode 468 of The Best Practices Show!
Main Takeaways:
Don't always delegate conflict resolution to your team.
Figure out the source of frustration or anger.
Overcome your fear of conflict.
Address conflict right away.
Embrace bad reviews.
Be clear, not nice.
Quotes:
“I was an associate, so that kind of helped [in avoiding conflict]. And having a partner does help too, because I was like, ‘Oh. Well, my partner says we can't do that.’ You know, you have someone to blame it on. But I would just make a team member deal with it. I'd be like, ‘Oh, you go talk to them. I am too afraid.’ And part of it is that I want to be liked. Second is, I feel like patients shouldn't feel, if they treat us crappy, that they get to have direct access to the doctor. But what I soon realized is if I do get involved sooner, then we tend to resolve it sooner.” (5:57—6:37)
“Every time you point a finger at someone, you have three pointing back at you, if you think about it. And so, the first question I ask is, ‘What's my part in it?’ It’s a hard thing to do, especially if you have an employee that is not good. You're like, ‘Well, it’s the employee. What part do I have in this?’ Well, maybe you're not leading them correctly. Maybe you didn't give them a chance — whatever it is. I try to look at my part.” (8:37—9:06)
“When it comes to patients, I feel like most of [the conflict] is over miscommunication — a lot of it, finances. Maybe we didn't communicate their part properly, or the expectations of the treatment and what they were going to get out of it. And in the past, I just put a team member in charge of it. My office manager, she loves the challenge of, ‘By the end, this person and I are going to be friends.’ She likes that challenge. But I told her, ‘Get us involved sooner,’ because it’s amazing, when we get on the phone, all of a sudden, the demeanor of the patient changes. I don't know what it is about the “Dr.” in front of our name, but all of a sudden, they start behaving.” (9:08—9:59)
“Not being afraid of conflict and addressing it right on or directly and coming in and admitting your part of it, humbling yourself, I think that goes a long way.” (16:17—16:35)
“I would say I delegate the majority of [conflict]. [I intervene] just when after a couple phone calls, nothing’s being resolved. And I think dentists are a little wimpy. We want to be liked, most of us. And then, we go into a job where everyone hates you. Right? And then, we ask for money for doing all this stuff. So, we have to not be afraid of not being liked.” (19:40—20:12)
“We have this whole thing where patients like to hold us hostage with reviews. And you also can't be afraid of a bad review. If you look through mine — and I do have some — it’s mostly about insurance and money, and the people usually sound totally ill-informed and ignorant. And it makes [the reviews] more real, but it still is a dagger to the heart. And I respond to every good review and every bad review and address, ‘I'm sorry that you had this experience. We strive to be clear and the best, so if you would give us a call, maybe we could discuss further.’ But don't let the patient hold you hostage on a bad review.” (20:23—21:14)
“Don't automatically give the money back [to unhappy patients]. That's not always what they're after.” (21:15—21:20)
“What I basically do with employees, let's say they're talking too loud in the hallway, or on their cell phone too much, or whatever it is. Instead of just being about the rules and the policies, and I'm the big, mean ogre boss person, it’s bringing it back to the patients. And the patients are why we are there. We have this philosophy of PTS — patient, team, self — and bring it back to that.” (23:02—23:33)
“I love having civil conversations, even if they're uncomfortable. Just don't get emotional. And you may have to compromise, and that's okay. But it doesn't mean giving [patients] their money back.” (25:19—25:34)
Snippets:
0:00 Introduction.
3:33 Dr. Elliott’s background.
5:28 Why learning to resolve conflict is important.
7:15 Don't be nice.
10:14 Why patients get frustrated and how to prepare for it.
19:02 The sweet spot for delegating conflict.
21:24 Resolving team member conflict.
24:54 Last thoughts on conflict resolution.
26:36 More about 3D Dentists.
Reach Out to Dr. Elliott:
Dr. Elliott’s website: www.erinelliottdds.com
Dr. Elliott’s email: erinelliottdds@gmail.com
Dr. Elliott’s social media: @erinelliottdds
Resources:
3D Dentists: https://3d-dentists.com/
3D Dentists Events Calendar: https://3d-dentists.com/calendar/
Dr. Erin Elliott Bio:
Dr. Erin Elliott grew up in Southern California but went away to a small NAIA school in Western New York, where she played collegiate soccer and graduated summa cum laude. She graduated Creighton Dental School in the top five of her class. After school, she settled in North Idaho and began her dentistry career. She has a passion for Dental Sleep Medicine, Short-Term Orthodontics, and integrating CAD/CAM and cone-beam imaging into a general dentistry practice. She regularly lectures on these topics.
She is an active member of her local American Dental Association, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, American Academy of Dental Sleep Medicine, and was the president and a diplomate of the American Sleep and Breathing Academy. She teaches two-day sleep apnea courses with 3D Dentists and Dr. Tarun Agarwal. She also privately coaches practices about sleep!
She spends her free time with her stay-at-home husband, Tom, and her two sons. She loves to spend time with friends, golfing, traveling, playing soccer, reading, and serving her community.
Dr. Elliott is dedicated to sharing the tools she has developed and honed over the years in the industry, and she knows these tools will help your practice succeed.
