Artwork for podcast The Voice of Dog
“Variables” by Roland Jovaik (part 2 of 2)
16th October 2020 • The Voice of Dog • Rob MacWolf and guests
00:00:00 00:34:14

Share Episode

Shownotes

Last time, Esten’s date with his local barista lands him in hot water when their evening doesn’t go as planned. Corey offers to walk himself home and when Esten returns to the coffee shop the next morning, Corey is nowhere to be found.

Today’s story is the second and final part of “Variables” by Roland Jovaik, who wrote this story as a submission for Roar 5, by Bad Dog Books. He hopes you enjoy listening to one of his earlier works and if you’re interested in reading more, he is currently working on reviving his SoFurry page where he will be posting any future works.

Read for you by Khaki, your faithful fireside companion.

Transcripts

Speaker:

You’re listening to The Voice of Dog.

Speaker:

I’m Khaki, your faithful fireside companion,

Speaker:

and Today’s story is the second and final part of

Speaker:

“Variables” by Roland Jovaik,

Speaker:

who wrote this story as a submission for Roar 5, by Bad Dog Books.

Speaker:

He hopes you enjoy listening to one of his earlier works

Speaker:

and if you’re intested Ain reading more,

Speaker:

he is currently working on reviving his SoFurry page

Speaker:

where he will be posting any future works.

Speaker:

Last time, Esten’s date with his local barista lands him in hot water when their evening doesn’t go as planned.

Speaker:

Corey offers to walk himself home and when Esten returns to the coffee shop the next morning,

Speaker:

Corey is nowhere to be found.

Please enjoy:

“Variables”

Please enjoy:

by Roland Jovaik,

Please enjoy:

Part 2 of 2 The next day Esten caught a glimpse of Corey

Please enjoy:

loitering behind the counter,

Please enjoy:

but the fox was quick to run to the back room when he saw the ferret coming.

Please enjoy:

His escape was short-lived when his coworkers noticed his absence.

Please enjoy:

When he did come out to serve Esten, Corey didn’t make eye contact.

Please enjoy:

He looked down and to the side as he took the ferret’s change.

Please enjoy:

The fox’s usual smile that Esten had grown accustomed to was gone

Please enjoy:

and his chatter to the other patrons was limited.

Please enjoy:

Esten watched carefully,

Please enjoy:

tipping his coffee in that practiced motion while pretending to drink.

Please enjoy:

All of the things that seemed to define the fox had vanished

Please enjoy:

—the energetic flick in his tail, the smile on his muzzle,

Please enjoy:

and the perkiness of his ears

Please enjoy:

—ears that could touch the ceiling with his enthusiasm.

Please enjoy:

It made more logical sense, he supposed,

Please enjoy:

that the two of them not become romantically involved after all.

Please enjoy:

Before Esten had thought to make the decision final,

Please enjoy:

Corey stepped out from behind the counter with a carafe in hand.

Please enjoy:

His eyes crawled along the floor with his ears stooped low.

Please enjoy:

He didn’t approach Esten’s table,

Please enjoy:

but the ferret managed to catch him making sidelong glances.

Please enjoy:

Esten took another sip.

Please enjoy:

Too many variables.

Please enjoy:

May 28, 2014 10:45am

Please enjoy:

– Exploration into the subject of dating has been unsuccessful.

Please enjoy:

Participant Corey was not receptive to dinner and has grown distant.

Please enjoy:

Due to recent circumstances it may no longer be favorable

Please enjoy:

to frequent the coffee vendor downstairs.

Please enjoy:

Esten tried throughout the day to complete just one of his many tasks, but whenever he sat down to work,

Please enjoy:

his mind wandered to thoughts of his one failed date

Please enjoy:

and Corey’s recent odd behavior.

Please enjoy:

Was he malfunctioning?

Please enjoy:

He couldn’t think of any other reason for his lack of concentration.

Please enjoy:

When he checked, all of his internal tests passed flawlessly.

Please enjoy:

Any external equipment gave him the same answer. So what was wrong?

Please enjoy:

Esten plugged himself into his computer in an effort

Please enjoy:

to complete his work sub-routines.

Please enjoy:

The spreadsheets that appeared before him shimmered for a split-second.

Please enjoy:

Esten shook his head

Please enjoy:

and allowed the image to refocus.

Please enjoy:

The cursor blinked,

Please enjoy:

but nothing would come.

Please enjoy:

His accounting contracts would just have to wait one more day.

Please enjoy:

He unplugged himself from the computer and picked up

Please enjoy:

The Art of Dating and Gun Maintenance.

Please enjoy:

He flipped through the pages, but none of them offered any assistance.

Please enjoy:

He set the book down and stared back at the computer.

Please enjoy:

Much like him, it had been designed for the purpose of computing and, under the right conditions, learning.

Please enjoy:

It wasn’t designed to malfunction,

Please enjoy:

so why was he having such a hard time concentrating?

Please enjoy:

His phone lit up from under his monitor.

Please enjoy:

He plugged the small interface cable into his phone

Please enjoy:

and closed his image receptors.

Please enjoy:

The text message was from Corey.

Please enjoy:

“So thats it huh?”

Please enjoy:

Esten processed the message multiple times, but without context,

Please enjoy:

the message was useless.

Please enjoy:

“I don’t understand,”

Please enjoy:

he wrote back utilizing a common English phrase he’d commonly written

Please enjoy:

when he first learned about the various methods of communication.

Please enjoy:

“I guess u wouldnt.

Please enjoy:

figures u would be back to acting like nothing ever happened after a night like that.

Please enjoy:

Do u care about anyone other than yourself?”

Please enjoy:

Nothing in his life or the dating book had taught him about scenarios like this.

Please enjoy:

He was unsure of how to react.

Please enjoy:

Contrary to his diary, he had no interest in changing venues for his morning coffee.

Please enjoy:

It was inefficient, unfamiliar

Please enjoy:

and it took so much time to train new baristas to his morning rituals.

Please enjoy:

He tried his best to formulate an appropriately objective response;

Please enjoy:

“I do observe other people.

Please enjoy:

Adapting is... difficult.

Please enjoy:

I do not know what you want me to do.”

Please enjoy:

He confirmed the message and sent it on its way.

Please enjoy:

He wanted to understand, but the customs of people were difficult at the best of times.

Please enjoy:

“Stop talking like ur a freaking robot!

Please enjoy:

I want u to apologize, but its a little late for that.”

Please enjoy:

The situation might be easier, he supposed,

Please enjoy:

if Corey knew he was an android,

Please enjoy:

but telling him was out of the question,

Please enjoy:

and against his programming.

Please enjoy:

He was supposed to adapt,

Please enjoy:

mingle, blend in. From what he could tell,

Please enjoy:

he was not doing an adequate job.

Please enjoy:

“Apologies would not remedy what happened.

Please enjoy:

I can take care of your dry cleaning as penance for purchasing the wine that stained your clothing.”

Please enjoy:

The delay between messages was getting shorter.

Please enjoy:

“U really dont get it.

Please enjoy:

I dont want your money.

Please enjoy:

I didnt want it at dinner

Please enjoy:

and I dont want it now.

Please enjoy:

i cant bar you from the cafe

Please enjoy:

but don’t think ill be the one serving you.

Please enjoy:

have a nice life.”

Please enjoy:

Even with Esten’s limited scope of human behavior,

Please enjoy:

he understood the finality of the message.

Please enjoy:

He left the phone on his desk

Please enjoy:

and went to his bedroom to recharge for the night.

Please enjoy:

He would revisit the concept of dating another time.

Please enjoy:

The next few days were spent finding a new locale to incorporate into his morning social routine.

Please enjoy:

The search was more difficult than anticipated.

Please enjoy:

Service elsewhere was

Please enjoy:

slow, inefficient and apathetic.

Please enjoy:

It was difficult choosing a new venue when the fox provided such a unique,

Please enjoy:

favorable experience to his morning routine.

Please enjoy:

Later that week he came upon a cafe with a bubbly ringtail

Please enjoy:

standing alone behind the counter, who seemed more than happy to serve Esten his morning coffee.

Please enjoy:

“Hi, my name’s Jessie. How can I help you, Cutie?”

Please enjoy:

The cacomistle’s tail flipped up,

Please enjoy:

threatening to fling fur everywhere.

Please enjoy:

“Medium coffee, three-quarters full please.”

Please enjoy:

Esten dug into his pocket for appropriate change, but the ringtail waved his paw

Please enjoy:

and bounced over to the carafe behind him.

Please enjoy:

“It’s on the house,

Please enjoy:

but only if you’ll tell me your name,”

Please enjoy:

he giggled. “Esten,”

Please enjoy:

he replied, unsure how his name could hold any monetary value.

Please enjoy:

“Nice to meet you. Are you new around here?

Please enjoy:

I’d definitely remember if a mug as cute as yours came walking in here.”

Please enjoy:

He set Esten’s steaming coffee on the counter in front of him.

Please enjoy:

“I recently had to make new arrangements,” he stated before taking the coffee.

Please enjoy:

The cacomistle whistled with a grin.

Please enjoy:

“Troubles at home, Sweetie?”

Please enjoy:

“No.” “Oh,” Jessie paused, but only enough long to write his number down on the back of a napkin.

Please enjoy:

“Well give me a call if you need anything else, okay Hon?”

Please enjoy:

Jessie gave another giggle

Please enjoy:

and bounced away.

Please enjoy:

Esten examined the number,

Please enjoy:

guessing this might be another form of flirting.

Please enjoy:

It seemed that his study of dating would to be resuming sooner than expected.

Please enjoy:

Esten inspected the number for a few moments before dialing.

Please enjoy:

The voice that answered was just as chipper as before.

Please enjoy:

“Hellooo?” “Hi, it’s Esten,”

Please enjoy:

he responded, unsure if he was supposed to respond to the

Please enjoy:

elongated string of vowels in any particular fashion.

Please enjoy:

“Hey Esten, calling already?

Please enjoy:

Aren’t we the eager one,”

Please enjoy:

he said with a giggle.

Please enjoy:

“I wasn’t aware there was a set waiting period.

Please enjoy:

Should I call back later?” “No,

Please enjoy:

this is fine, silly.

Please enjoy:

I like a guy who’s punctual.

Please enjoy:

So what’s the plan, Handsome?”

Please enjoy:

Esten hesitated,

Please enjoy:

remembering what an apparent disaster his date with Corey had been.

Please enjoy:

This time he would execute his plans effortlessly.

Please enjoy:

“I was thinking dinner, if that would be all right with you,”

Please enjoy:

he replied, finally.

Please enjoy:

“Dinner sounds great.

Please enjoy:

On you, right?” He giggled, perhaps a subtle hint at a joke,

Please enjoy:

but not the kind that Esten was familiar with.

Please enjoy:

“Yeah, sure.” He wasn’t sure what else to say.

Please enjoy:

“Great! I’ll text you my address.

Please enjoy:

Pick me up at eight, Handsome.”

Please enjoy:

There was a click from Jessie hanging up before Esten had a chance to get a word in otherwise.

Please enjoy:

He set the phone down and looked at his watch;

Please enjoy:

six forty-five. Might as well get ready, he figured.

Please enjoy:

By the time seven-thirty rolled around, Esten was prepared in a more casual manner than the last time,

Please enjoy:

wearing only a clean, collared golf tee

Please enjoy:

and blue jeans. The neck opened up just enough to show off

Please enjoy:

a light tuft of brown fur and the sleeves stopped just short of his lightly toned biceps

Please enjoy:

that had been crafted to his father’s design.

Please enjoy:

Esten sent out a quick text after arriving at Jessie’s door.

Please enjoy:

The ringtail appeared shortly after,

Please enjoy:

wearing fur-tight jeans that did not look comfortable

Please enjoy:

and a pink V-neck t-shirt that showed off

Please enjoy:

more chest than seemed necessary to the android.

Please enjoy:

Jessie’s eyes widened when he took note of Esten’s car.

Please enjoy:

The feminine ringtail jumped into the passenger seat, curling his tail comfortably into his lap.

Please enjoy:

His fur shone, luxurious and silky.

Please enjoy:

It matched Jessie’s bubbly smile

Please enjoy:

and energetic demeanor.

Please enjoy:

Though the ringtail must have been considered

Please enjoy:

incredibly attractive by normal standards,

Please enjoy:

Esten found it paled in comparison to Corey’s gentle smile and subtle movements.

Please enjoy:

“Nice car,” Jessie swooned.

Please enjoy:

“So where are we going?”

Please enjoy:

Esten remembered the trouble he had had with Corey over his dining plans and decided not to repeat his previous failed date.

Please enjoy:

“I was thinking of someplace like Italiano’s.”

Please enjoy:

“Yeah, that sounds fine.”

Please enjoy:

Jessie agreed, but some of the enthusiasm had fallen out of the ringtail’s otherwise over-the-top demeanor.

Please enjoy:

Esten looked over,

Please enjoy:

concerned that he might have made yet another grave mistake in his planning.

Please enjoy:

“Is everything all right?”

Please enjoy:

“Yeah,” he muttered while looking out the window.

Please enjoy:

Esten shrugged to himself, figuring the ringtail had no reason to lie if everything wasn’t okay,

Please enjoy:

so he threw the car into gear and they were off.

Please enjoy:

Italiano’s was a smaller Italian restaurant where business-casual was recommended,

Please enjoy:

but not necessary.

Please enjoy:

Among the rest of the patrons,

Please enjoy:

Esten looked slightly overdressed for the occasion.

Please enjoy:

“Evening, gentlemen,”

Please enjoy:

an ocelot in a white button shirt greeted from behind the counter.

Please enjoy:

“Two for this evening?”

Please enjoy:

He already had the menus cradled in his arms.

Please enjoy:

“Yes, thank you.” Esten replied.

Please enjoy:

Esten waved the wine menu away once they were seated, though Jessie quickly snapped it back before the server could reach for it.

Please enjoy:

The ocelot coughed

Please enjoy:

and turned to Esten.

Please enjoy:

“My name is Evan, I’ll be your waiter.

Please enjoy:

Can I get you something to drink?”

Please enjoy:

“Water, please.” He smiled to Evan as he opened the menu in front of him.

Please enjoy:

Evan looked to Jessie out of the corner of his eye.

Please enjoy:

“And for the Missus?” Jessie made the sound of mock-laughter.

Please enjoy:

“There goes your tip,

Please enjoy:

Mister. I’ll have a bottle of the house Merlot, and make it quick.”

Please enjoy:

The ocelot wrote something down on his notepad

Please enjoy:

while keeping very tight-lipped before turning away,

Please enjoy:

muttering “charming little thing, aren’t you?”

Please enjoy:

in a way that only Esten seemed to hear.

Please enjoy:

Esten was confused where this lack of a tip would be coming from, since he was the one paying.

Please enjoy:

As for the server’s comment, Esten supposed that, at a glance, Jessie could be mistaken for a woman of the flat-chested variety.

Please enjoy:

The idea of Jessie as a woman made Esten smile.

Please enjoy:

He recognized the feeling as ‘mirth’, though he wasn’t sure where this sense of emotion was coming from.

Please enjoy:

However, this was a feeling he could get used to.

Please enjoy:

Jessie didn’t have to wait long for his wine to arrive.

Please enjoy:

The server came out with two glasses and set them in front of both Esten and Jessie,

Please enjoy:

throwing a raised eyebrow in Esten’s direction.

Please enjoy:

As the server poured Jessie’s glass,

Please enjoy:

Esten decided he would have some wine, after all.

Please enjoy:

When it came time to order,

Please enjoy:

Jessie had picked the most expensive thing on the menu.

Please enjoy:

Simply coincidence, Esten figured as he opted for a smaller appetizer.

Please enjoy:

He had been designed to consume meals and beverages when the situation called for it,

Please enjoy:

but there was no sense in ordering too much food he wouldn’t really enjoy anyway.

Please enjoy:

His circuitry did, however,

Please enjoy:

experience wine and alcohol as if he were flesh and blood.

Please enjoy:

His ability to comprehend logic became muddled and finer tasks would have to wait until the effects had worn off.

Please enjoy:

Unlike his previous date, Jessie appeared

Please enjoy:

happy to speak with little input from Esten,

Please enjoy:

though the cacomistle’s only concerns were fashion and celebrity gossip.

Please enjoy:

Even with the help of his eidetic memory

Please enjoy:

he had issues keeping focused on Jessie’s conversation,

Please enjoy:

his mind drifting instead to what Corey might be doing tonight.

Please enjoy:

It was irrelevant, considering he hadn’t seen Corey in a week

Please enjoy:

and the fox was far from similar to his current date.

Please enjoy:

“Oh, shit!” Jessie exclaimed

Please enjoy:

and grabbed Esten by the collar, pulling him forward into an unexpected kiss.

Please enjoy:

Esten tried to pull away,

Please enjoy:

but Jessie’s grip was insistent.

Please enjoy:

Jessie eventually let go,

Please enjoy:

leaving Esten to fix his collar.

Please enjoy:

Evan was standing awkwardly nearby with two dishes in paw.

Please enjoy:

“Should I come back later?”

Please enjoy:

He looked between the two of them.

Please enjoy:

“No,” Esten said as he brushed the wrinkles from his shirt.

Please enjoy:

“Thank you.” The ocelot set the plates down and

Please enjoy:

quietly excused himself, glancing back to keep an eye on their table.

Please enjoy:

Esten munched on his fried shrimp, not sure what kind of conversation would be appropriate after a first kiss.

Please enjoy:

Jessie burst out into laughter, shattering the silence between them without notice. “Oh Esten, that’s hilarious!”

Please enjoy:

He continued to giggle as he stuffed a scallop into his muzzle.

Please enjoy:

Esten finished his first mouthful with

Please enjoy:

some confusion. “I’m sorry?”

Please enjoy:

“At least act like you said something funny,”

Please enjoy:

he glared. “My ex just walked through the door and I want him to know what he’s missing.”

Please enjoy:

Esten had never felt awkward during a smile before,

Please enjoy:

but somehow it didn’t feel appropriate for the situation.

Please enjoy:

He smiled nonetheless and nodded in acknowledgment.

Please enjoy:

“The things I’m going to do to you when we get back to the apartment, dear, you won’t walk for hours!” Jessie continued

Please enjoy:

with a shrill laugh that resonated through the restaurant.

Please enjoy:

Esten looked around to the number of tables looking at them now,

Please enjoy:

helpless to respond to the situation.

Please enjoy:

He looked back to Jessie,

Please enjoy:

but his attention was now turned to a snow white fox in a leather blazer

Please enjoy:

with black dress pants who was approaching their table.

Please enjoy:

“Amair, have you met my new boyfriend Esten? He’s such a charmer.”

Please enjoy:

The white fox turned to Esten

Please enjoy:

and looked him up and down.

Please enjoy:

“Take it from me darling, you can do so much better.”

Please enjoy:

With a shrug of his shoulders

Please enjoy:

he returned to the podium at the front where an equally well-dressed wolf was waiting for him.

Please enjoy:

Jessie scoffed and waved a paw, turning back to Esten.

Please enjoy:

“Forget him, he’s totally jealous.

Please enjoy:

Let’s eat, I’m starving.”

Please enjoy:

Without another word the ringtail dug into his lobster and scallops,

Please enjoy:

not making a single attempt at conversation until well after he was done.

Please enjoy:

He wiped his lips and tossed the napkin on the table.

Please enjoy:

“Man, I need a smoke. You’ve got the bill, right?”

Please enjoy:

Put up, and they’ll put out.

Please enjoy:

The words repeated in Esten’s mind,

Please enjoy:

but Esten had sparingly little interest in “putting out” for the obnoxious ringtail.

Please enjoy:

“Yeah, I got it,” the perplexed mustelid responded, but Jessie was already halfway out the door.

Please enjoy:

It was only then that the ocelot returned

Please enjoy:

and Esten felt a rise in his internal temperatures.

Please enjoy:

“I feel like I should apologize.”

Please enjoy:

The ocelot smiled and shook his head.

Please enjoy:

“You have nothing to apologize for.

Please enjoy:

Your boy toy, on the other hand,”

Please enjoy:

he trailed off. “Look, it’s not my business,

Please enjoy:

but there are worse things than being single.”Esten

Please enjoy:

nodded while he reflected on what future dates with the cacomistle would be like.

Please enjoy:

He certainly didn’t look forward to seeing him again.

Please enjoy:

“Thanks.” Esten tucked a handful of bills into the ocelot’s hand

Please enjoy:

and smiled. “Thank you for the excellent service.”

Please enjoy:

“H—hey,” he stuttered as Esten turned to the door.

Please enjoy:

“This is like, a fifty dollar tip!”

Please enjoy:

“Yes, it is.” His smile turned to a grin as he stepped outside.

Please enjoy:

Esten waved a paw in front of his muzzle as he walked right into a cloud of smoke.

Please enjoy:

It left an unpleasant haze on his sensors

Please enjoy:

“Was all of that necessary?”

Please enjoy:

Esten asked, looking back to Jessie’s ex through the window.

Please enjoy:

The question had been more of an inquisitive one than an accusation.

Please enjoy:

“Are you kidding?” He seemed far more excited than the situation called for as he puffed excitedly on his cigarette.

Please enjoy:

He was giddy and lashing his tail about.

Please enjoy:

“Did you see the look on his face?

Please enjoy:

He was totally jealous!”

Please enjoy:

“If you say so.” Esten turned his head back to the restaurant,

Please enjoy:

looking to the table where Amair and his apparent date

Please enjoy:

were seated. He seemed completely unconcerned about the two of them as they stood outside.

Please enjoy:

Esten couldn’t help but think about what both Amair and Evan had said to him before they left.

Please enjoy:

Though he knew little about the intricacies of dating,

Please enjoy:

he knew considerably more about things such as decorum

Please enjoy:

and commonly accepted manners for acting in public, and Jessie was meeting none of those specifications.

Please enjoy:

He simply nodded in between words

Please enjoy:

as the ringtail laughed and blew smoke in the ferret’s general direction,

Please enjoy:

fuzzing up his delicate nose receptors.

Please enjoy:

Corey knew how to act appropriately, he thought.

Please enjoy:

Even though their date had ultimately ended in tragedy,

Please enjoy:

he’d never been vulgar towards Esten or anyone else.

Please enjoy:

“So my place or yours, cutie?”

Please enjoy:

Jessie said with a giggle.

Please enjoy:

“What?” Esten blinked,

Please enjoy:

jarred from distracted thoughts.

Please enjoy:

He was forced, once again, to focus on Jessie.

Please enjoy:

The cacomistle waved his hips from side to side

Please enjoy:

and grinned broadly.

Please enjoy:

“Whaddaya say we go back to my place and have some real fun, huh?”

Please enjoy:

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Esten grabbed keys from his pocket.

Please enjoy:

“What kind of fun did you have in mind?”

Please enjoy:

He had a pretty good idea of what Jessie was planning, but hoped the cacomistle would change his mind, given the chance.

Please enjoy:

“Don’t be coy,” he gave Esten a playful push on the shoulder.

Please enjoy:

“You and I are going to do things that would make Satan himself blush.”

Please enjoy:

“Satan is a statistical improbability—”

Please enjoy:

“Don’t get technical with me, Mister!”

Please enjoy:

He grabbed Esten by the arm

Please enjoy:

and dragged him back towards the car, barely able to contain his excitement.

Please enjoy:

Esten groaned. The cacomistle was insistent, and it was starting to become problematic.

Please enjoy:

Jessie couldn’t hide his grin as they got into the car and drove off.

Please enjoy:

Five minutes into the drive the effeminate cacomistle had unbuckled his seat belt

Please enjoy:

and was leaning over into the driver’s seat,

Please enjoy:

running a paw up and down Esten’s

Please enjoy:

leg. “Please put your seat belt on,”

Please enjoy:

Esten protested.

Please enjoy:

“It’s not safe.” “Aw, come on sweetie.

Please enjoy:

What do you say to a little ‘warm up’ session?”

Please enjoy:

Jessie’s fingers trailed up the ferret’s legs,

Please enjoy:

letting his paw come to a rest between Esten’s legs.

Please enjoy:

His grip was rough and very unwelcome.

Please enjoy:

Esten glanced down at the ringtail.

Please enjoy:

He couldn’t adequately describe the feelings that were beginning to build inside him, but Jessie was quickly becoming someone that he did not want to be around.

Please enjoy:

“Please stop what you’re doing.”

Please enjoy:

“Just getting a little sample!”

Please enjoy:

His paw squeezed again, the ringtail’s movements jagged and unrefined.

Please enjoy:

“Sort of like a ‘try before you buy’ to make sure the package is any good.”

Please enjoy:

Everything the ringtail did defied logic and reason.

Please enjoy:

His lack of regard for anyone else around him was something that Esten greatly disapproved of.

Please enjoy:

Hostile thoughts clouded his judgment

Please enjoy:

and caused him to grit his teeth.

Please enjoy:

He had had enough of the ringtail.

Please enjoy:

If there was ever a lesson on what not to do on a first date, he was sure this was it.

Please enjoy:

He couldn’t explain why,

Please enjoy:

but the only thing he wanted at that moment was to talk to Corey,

Please enjoy:

to apologize to him for things he still didn’t understand.

Please enjoy:

“Let’s see what we’ve got here.”

Please enjoy:

Jessie unzipped Esten’s pants

Please enjoy:

and started working on his belt.

Please enjoy:

Esten stomped on the brakes, sending the ringtail into the dashboard with a loud, pained yelp.

Please enjoy:

The result made him smile, despite his frustration.

Please enjoy:

“Get out.” “The nerve of you!

Please enjoy:

First you slam me into your dashboard and now you’re telling me that I have to

Please enjoy:

find my own way home?

Please enjoy:

My house is miles from here!”

Please enjoy:

“You were told to buckle up.

Please enjoy:

As for getting home, that’s no longer my problem. This date is over.”

Please enjoy:

Esten’s responses were short,

Please enjoy:

the inflections harsh and unfamiliar.

Please enjoy:

He was beginning to understand that

Please enjoy:

what he felt towards the ringtail was anger;

Please enjoy:

a concept he had studied,

Please enjoy:

but had previously been sheltered from experiencing.

Please enjoy:

“You are obligated to drive me home!”

Please enjoy:

The ringtail’s hair was standing on end,

Please enjoy:

his features wrinkled and distorted through his angry glares.

Please enjoy:

He looked to the ringtail and slowed his words,

Please enjoy:

making them careful and deliberate.

Please enjoy:

“I believe they call what you did tonight sexual assault.

Please enjoy:

If you don’t want any more trouble tonight, I suggest you find your own way home.”

Please enjoy:

“You wouldn’t!” “I would.”

Please enjoy:

The ringtail stepped out and slammed the car door shut

Please enjoy:

before rubbing at the parts of his body

Please enjoy:

that had become intimate with the dashboard.

Please enjoy:

Esten drove, leaving the ringtail in his rear-view mirror.

Please enjoy:

Once the heat of the situation had died down,

Please enjoy:

Esten recalled the emotions he had felt, the raw and unfamiliar nature of them

Please enjoy:

and what it meant for his programming.

Please enjoy:

He still couldn’t explain why, but the urge to call Corey was now stronger than ever. “Hello?”

Please enjoy:

“Corey, it’s Esten.”

Please enjoy:

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

Please enjoy:

“I’m sorry.” There was a pause on the other line.

Please enjoy:

“What?” “I’m sorry,” he repeated.

Please enjoy:

“I still don’t fully understand what happened during our date, but I want to see you.”

Please enjoy:

There was another long pause.

Please enjoy:

Esten could hear Corey breathing heavily on the other line.

Please enjoy:

“I don’t want to see you.”

Please enjoy:

Corey’s hesitation gave Esten the impression

Please enjoy:

that the fox was lying, but only slightly.

Please enjoy:

“I want to understand, Corey.

Please enjoy:

I’m unable to stop thinking about you and I don’t know why.”

Please enjoy:

“Unless you have a damn good reason for acting the way you’ve been acting,

Please enjoy:

I don’t want anything more to do with you.”

Please enjoy:

There’s only one way, he thought.

Please enjoy:

But you can’t. The seed of doubt crept into his thoughts.

Please enjoy:

Telling Corey went against the very core of his programming.

Please enjoy:

There had to be another way.

Please enjoy:

“I can’t tell you,”

Please enjoy:

he whispered, though he didn’t mean to.

Please enjoy:

“Then this conversation is over—” “Wait!”

Please enjoy:

Esten listened for signs that Corey had hung up,

Please enjoy:

that had terminated the call.

Please enjoy:

Indescribable tension and nervousness flooded his entire being.

Please enjoy:

His only purpose, he felt,

Please enjoy:

would be crushed the moment Corey hung up that phone.

Please enjoy:

He would do it, he decided.

Please enjoy:

“I have something I need to tell you.”

Please enjoy:

“What is it?” “In person.

Please enjoy:

Please,” he begged.

Please enjoy:

There was another long,

Please enjoy:

contemplative pause. “Meet me

Please enjoy:

at the shop in fifteen minutes.”

Please enjoy:

Esten was downstairs in two.

Please enjoy:

He had no reason to wait otherwise.

Please enjoy:

The night was quiet and desolate, powered only by streetlamps and the few cars that drove by.

Please enjoy:

He counted the minutes until Corey arrived,

Please enjoy:

each one making him increasingly anxious.

Please enjoy:

Eleven minutes and thirty-two seconds later,

Please enjoy:

Corey arrived. “This had better be good, Esten.

Please enjoy:

I had... company.” His ears flicked with a hint of shame as he said it.

Please enjoy:

“I’m sorry. About our date,”

Please enjoy:

he said, hoping that might be enough to appease the fox.

Please enjoy:

“You don’t even know what you’re apologizing for,”

Please enjoy:

spat Corey, obviously still bitter at how their night had gone.

Please enjoy:

Esten tried to put into words

Please enjoy:

what he was only now beginning to understand, though the explanation seemed intangible and unexplainable.

Please enjoy:

He wanted to speak, to say anything,

Please enjoy:

but his mind and his thoughts would not let him.

Please enjoy:

He stood there in silence.

Please enjoy:

“I knew coming here was a waste of time.”

Please enjoy:

Corey turned from Esten and started walking.

Please enjoy:

“Don’t leave!” Esten reached forward and grabbed Corey’s arm.

Please enjoy:

“Let go,” Corey hissed. He pulled his arm away and started to walk faster.

Please enjoy:

There was no way that Corey could understand

Please enjoy:

—not without Esten going against his programming, to reveal his true identity.

Please enjoy:

But somehow a life without the fox seemed like no life at all.

Please enjoy:

His inexplicable attachment to the fox was undeniable,

Please enjoy:

and regardless of what he had been programmed for, none of it mattered

Please enjoy:

if the fox wasn’t there for it.

Please enjoy:

“I’ll tell you!” He shouted loud enough that he was sure the people in the apartments nearby could hear him.

Please enjoy:

Corey stopped and turned.

Please enjoy:

“I’ll tell you,” he repeated.

Please enjoy:

Esten’s body was trembling.

Please enjoy:

He hadn’t been programmed for any of this. So what was happening to him?

Please enjoy:

Corey walked back, still keeping his distance from Esten.

Please enjoy:

“Tell me what? Why are you so desperate for my approval now?

Please enjoy:

You sure as hell didn’t want it before.”

Please enjoy:

I’m an android. I’m not flesh and blood. These were things he wanted badly to say, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Please enjoy:

The world isn’t ready, he told himself. Programming or not, the world simply wasn’t ready.

Please enjoy:

“I’ve never been on a date before.”

Please enjoy:

He regretted saying those words as soon as they left his muzzle.

Please enjoy:

He felt silly and his ears pressed back against his head.

Please enjoy:

Corey’s shoulders slumped

Please enjoy:

as he breathed a sigh in disbelief.

Please enjoy:

“That’s it?” “That’s it.”

Please enjoy:

Esten looked away, embarrassed under Corey’s

Please enjoy:

incredulous stare.

Please enjoy:

“I’m sorry Esten, but that doesn’t really explain how you’ve been acting.

Please enjoy:

I get that you’re nervous, but you were completely self-centered that night.”

Please enjoy:

He trailed off, laying an arm across his chest to rub at his elbow.

Please enjoy:

“I’m sorry about the restaurant.”

Please enjoy:

Esten repeated himself to the point

Please enjoy:

where he felt broken.

Please enjoy:

He strained to think about what had gone wrong that night, for just what he was supposed to be apologizing for.

Please enjoy:

“I didn’t listen to you, and I imposed on you at the restaurant.”

Please enjoy:

These were still stabs in the dark,

Please enjoy:

but if he thought hard enough he could begin to understand.

Please enjoy:

“It’s a start,” Corey muttered.

Please enjoy:

Esten stepped forward and before Corey could react

Please enjoy:

pressed his lips against the fox’s muzzle.

Please enjoy:

He sensed a brief

Please enjoy:

flickering of Corey’s warm lips before the fox pulled back with a gasp.

Please enjoy:

“Esten, what hell was that?”

Please enjoy:

“I thought that was how one showed affection.”

Please enjoy:

Esten’s ears flicked back against his head.

Please enjoy:

He was so sure he was starting to get the hang of this,

Please enjoy:

how could he possibly be so inept?

Please enjoy:

Corey stepped back. “I can’t do this, Esten.”

Please enjoy:

He turned and ran off into the night.

Please enjoy:

Esten walked back to his apartment,

Please enjoy:

defeated and confused.

Please enjoy:

He hadn’t been able to convince Corey to stay after all.

Please enjoy:

He had failed in his main objective, to blend in,

Please enjoy:

to mingle as people often did,

Please enjoy:

through courtship and dating.

Please enjoy:

He sat in his computer chair, lost and alone.

Please enjoy:

He shouted to the empty apartment before grabbing the wireless mouse on his desk

Please enjoy:

and throwing it against a wall.

Please enjoy:

Batteries scattered as the mouse exploded into several pieces underneath the windowsill,

Please enjoy:

directly beneath the small wooden box his father had given him.

Please enjoy:

He gazed at the box

Please enjoy:

and its tauntingly plain exterior

Please enjoy:

as his father’s words echoed in his head.

Please enjoy:

“You’ll know when to open it, Esten.”

Please enjoy:

Why was the box so damned important,

Please enjoy:

and why wasn’t he allowed to open it?

Please enjoy:

It had been so insignificant before, but now it insulted his senses,

Please enjoy:

teasing him with yet another riddle he could not solve.

Please enjoy:

“You’ll know when to open it.”

Please enjoy:

“I don’t know what you mean!”

Please enjoy:

His voice echoed off the walls,

Please enjoy:

fading quickly into nothing.

Please enjoy:

He grabbed the box from its perch

Please enjoy:

and clutched it tight

Please enjoy:

until the wood cracked beneath his grip.

Please enjoy:

Everything made even less sense to him now,

Please enjoy:

just like the rest of the world around him.

Please enjoy:

Esten had no way to know when it would ever be the right time to open it.

Please enjoy:

“To hell with it.” He popped the latch and opened the box.

Please enjoy:

There was a lone slip of paper inside, a far cry from anything Esten thought might have been inside.

Please enjoy:

He removed the note,

Please enjoy:

observing that the scribble was his father’s handwriting.

Please enjoy:

Esten, The very fact that you’re reading this means your journey is ready to begin.

Please enjoy:

Your learning processes and natural curiosity,

Please enjoy:

along with your ability to experience emotions, means you are ready to become one

Please enjoy:

with the world around you.

Please enjoy:

You may think that you are broken,

Please enjoy:

or are experiencing a malfunction, but I promise

Please enjoy:

that this transition is deliberate.

Please enjoy:

I hid parts of your programming from you

Please enjoy:

that were designed only to activate

Please enjoy:

when you had matured enough to handle the ramifications of raw emotion.

Please enjoy:

You have no doubt you’ve opened my present to you because you are alone,

Please enjoy:

scared and angry.

Please enjoy:

You’re learning how to deal with all of these traits on your own and I am so proud of you.

Please enjoy:

I knew that when I designed you,

Please enjoy:

I would never get to see you grow up and experience life for yourself.

Please enjoy:

However, there was no question in my mind that you would reach maturity and grow into your own person,

Please enjoy:

and what a wonderful person I imagined you would become.

Please enjoy:

You will learn to experience love,

Please enjoy:

to hold onto it and to never let go.

Please enjoy:

Should you find that special someone,

Please enjoy:

do not fail to tell them you love them,

Please enjoy:

and to share with them your deepest secrets.

Please enjoy:

This is what I’ve programmed you for;

Please enjoy:

to experience the best of what life has to offer,

Please enjoy:

in the hopes that you may one day understand how to share those gifts

Please enjoy:

with the people you hold dear.

Please enjoy:

I bless you with the gift of life, my son.

Please enjoy:

Love, Charles. Esten crumpled the paper in his hand

Please enjoy:

and sighed. The next morning did not come quickly.

Please enjoy:

He knew time was constant, but nothing seemed to be acting as it should, and that included himself.

Please enjoy:

His subroutines were a mess:

Please enjoy:

tasks lay undone,

Please enjoy:

papers weren’t organized, and Esten was being plagued with thoughts

Please enjoy:

that he no longer controlled.

Please enjoy:

Eight o’clock rolled around,

Please enjoy:

marking the end of the morning rush at the coffee shop downstairs.

Please enjoy:

Now was the time for Esten to make one last effort:

Please enjoy:

to try and make Corey understand.

Please enjoy:

Even if his efforts were doomed to fail, he had to try.

Please enjoy:

Esten pushed through the door to the shop, making his way to the front counter

Please enjoy:

and making eye-contact with Corey.

Please enjoy:

Though Corey looked away,

Please enjoy:

he did not retreat to the back as he had before.

Please enjoy:

Instead he put his head down,

Please enjoy:

not returning eye contact with Esten,

Please enjoy:

as if trying to convince himself that the ferret was not really there.

Please enjoy:

“Can I take your order, sir?”

Please enjoy:

Corey didn’t look up, his fingers at the ready on the cash register.

Please enjoy:

“Can we talk about last night?”

Please enjoy:

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

Please enjoy:

Corey gripped the sides of the register.

Please enjoy:

“I think you should go.”

Please enjoy:

Esten reached his hand out to touch Corey’s.

Please enjoy:

He felt the fox’s muscles tense immediately and twitch,

Please enjoy:

but he did not pull it out of Esten’s reach.

Please enjoy:

“Look, I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last few weeks.

Please enjoy:

There’s a lot that I still don’t know, but I was hoping that I could figure it out;

Please enjoy:

with you.” The cash drawer interrupted the conversation with a loud ding

Please enjoy:

and a harsh clang as it jutted out.

Please enjoy:

“That’ll be a dollar forty-seven.”

Please enjoy:

Esten patiently handed over the change,

Please enjoy:

not taking his eyes off of Corey.

Please enjoy:

Corey looked down at the till with his ears canted off to the side.

Please enjoy:

Corey was silent until a line had begun to form behind Esten.

Please enjoy:

He spoke, but in harsh, whispered tones.

Please enjoy:

“What about your new beau?”

Please enjoy:

“I don’t know—” “Amair texted

Please enjoy:

me during his date last night.

Please enjoy:

Told me he saw his ex with someone that met your description.

Please enjoy:

Couldn’t keep his lips off you, I heard.”

Please enjoy:

“And I made him walk home after he tried to molest me in the car.”

Please enjoy:

Esten squeezed Corey’s hand.

Please enjoy:

“After all that, all I wanted was to call you.

Please enjoy:

Please.” Corey pulled his paw back.

Please enjoy:

“Look, I’m off at five.

Please enjoy:

You’re holding up the line.”

Please enjoy:

Traffic filtered seamlessly in and out of the cafe.

Please enjoy:

Though Esten was always aware of the time, he found himself looking to his time piece anyway.

Please enjoy:

A short, stocky cougar passed by,

Please enjoy:

taking a sidelong glance at Esten.

Please enjoy:

The ferret recognized him as the manager.

Please enjoy:

“Busy day today, huh?”

Please enjoy:

The passing cougar questioned,

Please enjoy:

his tail flicking back and forth skillfully out of the way of any nearby tables.

Please enjoy:

“Just a bit of unfinished business,”

Please enjoy:

he said with a smile,

Please enjoy:

waving his paw over the pile of papers in front of him.

Please enjoy:

With a smile and a nod the feline turned back to his business,

Please enjoy:

wiping down tables and paying Esten no mind.

Please enjoy:

Esten passed the time by watching as people entered and left.

Please enjoy:

The shop was nearly empty when five o’clock rolled around.

Please enjoy:

Corey busied himself with some last minute duties before disappearing

Please enjoy:

into the back room. Time to tidy up.

Please enjoy:

Esten shuffled his papers back into their folder.

Please enjoy:

Outside the cafe

Please enjoy:

Corey shifted his tail uneasily

Please enjoy:

and Esten stood with his hands in his pockets, unsure how to initiate the conversation.

Please enjoy:

Corey cleared his throat.

Please enjoy:

“So.” “Yeah.” “You’re certainly persistent,”

Please enjoy:

Corey said with a nervous laugh.

Please enjoy:

Esten wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he simply nodded.

Please enjoy:

“What do you want, Esten?”

Please enjoy:

“A second chance.” Corey crossed his arms with a grumble.

Please enjoy:

“You expect me to just give you a second chance after all...”

Please enjoy:

He threw his arms up in the air.

Please enjoy:

“Whatever you would call all of that?”

Please enjoy:

Frustration seeped into Esten’s thoughts.

Please enjoy:

He had done everything in his power to understand, to make things right.

Please enjoy:

“I’ve done my best to understand what I’ve done wrong.

Please enjoy:

I have apologized and I’ve groveled.

Please enjoy:

In spite of all that has happened, I still want to be with you.

Please enjoy:

Do you not feel the same?”

Please enjoy:

“I used to,” he grumbled while looking off to the side.

Please enjoy:

Esten took a step forward.

Please enjoy:

“Corey, I don’t know how to explain how I feel about you,

Please enjoy:

but I do know that when I’m around you, I feel...

Please enjoy:

different. I feel complete.”

Please enjoy:

He didn’t quite know what that meant, but it sounded like the right thing to say.

Please enjoy:

“I know I’m not perfect,”

Please enjoy:

at least he sure didn’t feel like it.

Please enjoy:

“That’s an understatement,”

Please enjoy:

Corey muttered. “And I’ve messed up.

Please enjoy:

A lot,” he added. “But each mistake brings me to a better understanding of how my actions affect you.”

Please enjoy:

Corey was silent, waiting expectantly for Esten to continue.

Please enjoy:

“When you’re around,

Please enjoy:

I feel like the day gets a little bit brighter.

Please enjoy:

When I’m with you, I feel like I can be a better person.”

Please enjoy:

Esten stepped forward

Please enjoy:

and took Corey’s paws in his.

Please enjoy:

When Corey didn’t pull back,

Please enjoy:

he stared into the fox’s eyes.

Please enjoy:

“Let me make it up to you.”

Please enjoy:

The vulpine’s shoulders

Please enjoy:

sagged with a sigh.

Please enjoy:

Corey met Esten’s gaze with the slightest hint of a smile on his muzzle.

Please enjoy:

“Alright, but let’s take it slow.

Please enjoy:

slow.” December 20, 2014 9:45

Please enjoy:

AM – The Christmas holidays are coming, and it will be the first year I’ve spent them with anyone aside from you, Father.

Please enjoy:

It turns out Corey

Please enjoy:

was the perfect candidate after all.

Please enjoy:

I’ve learned so much about love and heartbreak,

Please enjoy:

and I couldn’t have done it without the both of you to guide me.

Please enjoy:

I love him, father,

Please enjoy:

and I make sure to tell him every day.

Please enjoy:

I understand now why you programmed me never to reveal my secret to anyone.

Please enjoy:

I could never have truly understood the repercussions of such an act without knowing what I do today.

Please enjoy:

I’ve decided that Christmas will be the day I tell him everything,

Please enjoy:

and I pray that it goes well.

Please enjoy:

I miss you, Father. This was the first of two parts of “Variables” by Roland Jovaik,

Please enjoy:

read for you by Khaki, your faithful fireside companion. Tune in next time to find out how Esten will complete his studies in the art of dating.

Please enjoy:

As always, you can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog,

Please enjoy:

or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.

Please enjoy:

Thank you for listening

Please enjoy:

to The Voice of Dog

Chapters

Video

More from YouTube