Welcome back to The Dynamics of Everyday Life with Julia! In this episode, I explore why we sometimes hand over important decisions to people whose judgment we wouldn’t even trust to pick our lunch. Through stories of dog-sitting, business frustrations, and family dynamics, I examines what’s going on beneath the surface when we seek outside advice during moments of overwhelm.

[00:00:48] – Responsibility & Decision-Making

• I discuss making decisions for the dog, connect it to parenting, and segue into feelings of overwhelm in business, particularly with sales and marketing.

[00:01:50] – Struggles & Seeking Advice

• I recount attending an unhelpful business event and reflect on my hopes for insightful advice versus the reality of generic recommendations.

[00:02:26] – Advice & Overwhelm

• I question why I sought advice from strangers and discuss how easy it is to look for the “right” answer elsewhere when feeling overwhelmed.

[00:03:25] – Outsourcing Decision-making

• I realise that having a large following isn’t helpful if it isn’t the right audience; discuss how, when flooded by decisions, confidence shrinks and we start to “outsource” thinking.

[00:04:21] – The Sandwich Test & Regression

• I share my “sandwich test” for whose opinions matter, and talk about regressing into less confident parts of ourselves under stress.

[00:04:52] – The Fantasy of the Right Answer

• Explain the fantasy that someone else knows better; reference my experience training coaches and how there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

[00:05:37] – Psychodynamics: Introjection & Transference

• Introduce the concepts of introjected authority figures and transference, and how these start early in life and influence current decision-making patterns.

[00:06:50] – Real-World Examples

• I give relatable examples of unsolicited advice from networking contacts, family, and friends with questionable expertise.

[00:07:53] – Applying the Sandwich Test

• Suggest the “sandwich test” for business advice, reviewing the intention behind seeking advice, and assessing your “circle of advisors.”

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Feeling overwhelmed? Remember: even Dorothy needed to make the journey to realise she could get herself home. Give yourself some grace and trust your own back catalogue of experience.

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