This podcast episode features a compelling discourse on personal transformation, epitomized by our guest, Stanley Bronstein, who recounts his profound journey from obesity to health. Bronstein candidly shares his past struggles with weight, revealing that he once weighed 367 pounds and has since successfully shed over 220 pounds through a commitment to lifestyle changes devoid of surgeries or medications. He elaborates on the philosophical underpinnings of his approach, which he encapsulates in his system known as the "Way of Excellence." This system emphasizes the importance of awareness, persistence, and personal responsibility in achieving lasting change, encouraging listeners to embrace both the challenges and rewards of self-improvement. Ultimately, Bronstein's narrative serves as an inspiring testament to the power of determination and the potential for each individual to effectuate significant personal growth. The dialogue commences with Anthony Wright and Adam Dietz introducing Stanley Bronstein, the guest of the day, whose transformative journey from obesity to health and vitality serves as the fulcrum of discussion. Bronstein recounts his personal narrative, emphasizing the pivotal moment in February 2009 when he resolved to eradicate unhealthy habits and embark upon a systematic approach to wellness. He elucidates the profound impact of personal experiences, particularly the emotional toll of his mother’s death during his childhood, which catalyzed his lifelong struggle with obesity. This episode delves into Bronstein's unique methodologies encapsulated within his framework, 'The Way of Excellence', which he articulates as a human operating system designed to foster personal growth and accountability. He meticulously outlines the significant changes he adopted, such as abstaining from alcohol, eliminating processed foods, and integrating consistent physical activity into his daily regimen. Through a systematic approach, Bronstein underscores the importance of persistence and commitment to long-term health, advocating for an evolutionary mindset that prioritizes gradual yet sustainable changes over fleeting diets or extreme measures. As the discussion unfolds, Bronstein shares insights into the psychological dimensions of change. He highlights the necessity of cultivating a positive mindset and maintaining a keen awareness of one’s habits. The conversation elaborates on the concept of 'healthy selfishness', a principle that advocates for prioritizing one’s own wellbeing to positively impact others. By fostering a sense of self-respect through discipline and accountability, listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own habits and consider how they might implement similar transformative practices in their lives. The episode culminates with a discussion about the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit, reinforcing the idea that true excellence is rooted in holistic development. Bronstein’s narrative serves not only as a personal testament but also as a clarion call for listeners to recognize their inherent potential and the profound power of individual choice in shaping their destinies.

Takeaways:

• The journey of personal transformation requires a profound commitment to permanent change and self-awareness.
• Understanding the importance of balance among mind, body, and spirit is essential for achieving overall well-being.
• Recognizing the significance of long-term thinking allows individuals to make decisions that positively impact their future.
• Embracing a mindset of positivity and willingness to improve can lead to significant personal growth and accomplishment.
• The act of giving to others without expectation fosters a deeper sense of community and interconnectedness.
• Developing self-discipline through consistent action is crucial for achieving one’s health and wellness goals.

Links referenced in this episode:

• thewayofexcellence.com

I'm Anthony Wright and I am your co host today on the Living Conversation with Adam Dietz.

Welcome.

And we are here with our guest, Stanley Bronstein.

And welcome, Stanley.

Thank you for having me.

And you have a website that is titled the Way of Excellence, your human operating system.

Tell us a bit about what that's all about.

Basically, it's something that has grown out of my life experience, specifically the challenges I've faced in my life and the things that I've learned over my life led me.

And I'll be specific about that.

I used to weigh 367 pounds.

Today I'm weighing about 145 pounds.

You said that on your site.

I was very curious.

This is what I used to look like.

Oh, boy.

I had a, I had a 58 inch waist.

Today I have a 31 inch waist and I did it with no drugs, no surgeries.

So I'm much happier to say very.

Interested in that because I'm in a similar position.

Well, we could talk about that and you're welcome.

I'll be more than happy to do a zoom with you afterwards.

All right, well.

But how did you do that?

Okay, well, first of all, I've been dealing with obesity my whole life.

Like many people, more and more people these days.

Specifically my.

I was eight years old, my mother died.

Oh.

And that messed with my head.

Yeah, I emotionally shut down in a lot of ways.

And there I am living with my massively obese father.

Uhhuh.

Who had no clue how to eat properly.

And we both just ate ourselves into oblivion.

And a lot of men like to brag that they're the same size they were when they got married.

Well, I'm smaller than I was when I was 13 years old.

Oh my.

So that's, that's how crazy this whole story is.

So dealing with this my whole life, I had had two or three times before where I've lost a chunk of weight, but I always wound up putting it back.

Either putting it all back on or the last time I put a lot of it back on, but I didn't put quite all of it back on.

And that was because most of the time the changes I made were only temporary changes.

I didn't learn how to eat properly, I didn't learn how to exercise properly.

I didn't learn how to behave properly.

And so whenever I would stop doing what I was doing, everything would come right back on.

Plus, more any.

Anytime I did make permanent changes, I did get some permanent Results.

For example, there was one time when I was about 32 years old or so, I lost 100 pounds.

And I never put that 400 back on because, see, I maxed out at 367.

When I was about 30, 31, 32, I got down to about 267 or so, and I never put the 400 back on.

And the reason why was because there was one change I made that was permanent.

Specifically, I used to get up in the middle of the night and eat full meals.

I mean, big time.

Two, three in the morning, full meal.

And when I lost £100, I managed to permanently break that one habit.

And.

And the way I did that was interesting.

I.

At the time, I was.

I don't consider it healthy now based upon what I know, but at the time, I was eating all those Weight Watchers dinners.

Oh, right.

All the entrees and stuff.

Yep.

And that's how I was losing weight.

Basically, it was portion control with a lot of sodium and a lot of processed foods.

But I'd get up in the middle of the night hungry.

I'd pull one of those dinners out of the freezer.

I'd look at the picture, I would imagine what it tasted like because I'd eaten a zillion of them.

And I said, that was delicious.

And then I put it back in the freezer, and I went back to sleep.

So.

So one of the things I learned there was, you don't necessarily have to put food in your mouth to taste it.

I mean, I can do that right now.

Oh, sure.

I used to make.

Okay.

I used to make the best chicken wings you ever wanted.

I haven't had them in almost 13 years, but I can taste them right now just by talking about them.

Right.

And thinking about them.

I am.

I tell people, if they want to quit smoking cigarettes, pull a cigarette out of the pack, smell it.

Smell it.

You can put it in your mouth.

Don't light it.

Imagine what it tastes like.

You know what it tastes like.

You've had a million of them before.

Imagine you just smoke that cigarette, put it back in the pack, and go do something else.

Same thing with alcohol.

Pour yourself a shot.

Smell it.

Imagine what it tastes like.

Don't drink it.

Pour it back in the bottle.

It's not always the easiest thing to do, but you can do that.

That is a thing that works.

So I did lose some, and I got small enough to where I was able to date and women were interested in me, and I wound up getting married.

I'm still married to the same woman, but it'll be 26 years in September.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

So.

I started.

Along the way, I started my own law and accounting practice.

I'm both a CPA and an attorney.

Yep.

And I was doing well there.

But, you know, typical stresses of life, stresses of business, stresses of everything.

I started putting weight back on.

I never got to my full 367, but I did get to 320 as I was approaching my 50th birthday.

49 And a half, four months before my 50th birthday, actually.

I was disgusted with myself.

You know, I said, stanley, you're screwing up big time.

You've got the successful business, you've got a successful career, you have all this potential and you're wasting it.

This is disgusting.

I mean, that's how I felt about myself.

I mean, just totally disgusted.

I had not hit rock bottom.

I hadn't had a heart attack yet, hadn't had a stroke yet.

You know, knees hadn't given out yet.

All those things were probably coming, but I just didn't like it.

So I asked myself question that a lot of people ask.

Where am I going to be in five years if I keep doing what I'm doing?

I didn't like the answer.

When either one of you guys care to guess what the answer was?

In.

In trouble.

In trouble.

Health wise.

Right?

Dead.

Yeah.

And I decided right then and there that I did not want to be dead.

So I told my wife, I said, I'm going to make some changes starting right now.

Oh, my goodness.

Would you care to guess why it wasn't January 1st?

Well, New Year's revolution.

Yeah.

Well, I made a New Year's resolution and like most people, I blew it.

Right.

But I picked myself back up and I got started again.

That was the difference.

Yeah.

So now is always a good time to start wherever it is.

So.

So I'm gonna make some changes.

I told my wife, I'm making changes.

I'm going on a journey here.

I'm doing these things, I have to do them or I'm going to be dead.

You might like some of them and you might not like some of them.

And to be honest with you, if you don't like them, I don't care.

Because I have to make these changes or I'm going to be dead.

And on this journey I'm going on, I'm inviting you to come along with me and I hope you do.

But if you don't want to, there's the door you can walk out right now.

That's what told her.

And that's pretty harsh.

But that is what I call a moment of healthy selfishness.

You know, you get on an airplane, put your oxygen mask on first.

Exactly.

You know, that's what I did.

You have to take care of yourself.

And, you know, and I. I have a book on that on my website.

It's called the Way of Healthy Selfishness.

Talk all about that.

So I stood up for myself.

So I said, I'm going to make four changes.

I identified four things that I'm going to start with.

And mind you, this whole process I've been on has been an evolutionary process.

I didn't just instantly start out doing what I do today.

It has evolved.

So first thing I said was, I'm going to quit drinking alcohol.

Was I an alcoholic?

I don't know.

But the reality is I was drinking scotch every day.

I was drinking more than I should.

And it was not serving me.

I was serving it.

Yep.

So I said, no more alcohol.

I believe in symbolism.

I took my last bottle of scotch, poured it down the toilet, it flush, gone.

Haven't had a drink in 17 years.

And honestly, I actually found it easy to quit that.

And I think it's because I don't believe I was physically addicted to it.

I might have been emotionally addicted to it.

I wanted it, I craved it.

And that's not to make light of people who have trouble dealing with alcohol.

I'm just telling you what my experience was now.

Next thing I kicked was actually, believe it or not, a little bit harder.

Two liter bottles of soda pop.

Right.

But it was diet caffeine free.

They tell us that's healthy, right?

Wrong.

Not healthy.

It's garbage.

And these are my opinions, so.

Right, no defamation here, but these are my opinions, garbage.

And I took my last 2 liter bottle of soda pop down the toilet, hit flush, gone.

Haven't had one in 17 years.

And that was actually harder to kick than the alcohol.

And I think that's because I drank it all day, every day.

And here I was stuck with drinking boring water, you know, but that's okay.

Much healthier.

Then I decided, I'm gonna make a dietary change.

I like chicken and turkey.

So I gave up red meat beef and pork.

And that wasn't that bad, you know, I actually did that.

And then I said, I need to start some form of exercise.

I'm gonna start.

I picked walking.

And the reason I picked walking was I figured you could do it almost anywhere, anytime.

Yep.

You didn't need a lot of special equipment and I figured it would beat me up less than other forms of exercise.

So I started walking and when I started I can only walk two or three blocks and my knees hurt and I was out of breath.

I found a gym that was open 24 hours a day.

I'd go there in the middle of the night when the pool was empty and I would walk laps in the pool.

The water took the weight off my legs, made it easier and I built up to an hour and then two hours and three hours.

And I set a goal that I was going to do a five hour pull walk on my 50th birthday.

Oh my.

Well, I lost 50 pounds by then.

I did a five hour pull walk and two days later I did a five and a half hour pool walk.

Then I started outside.

I was going to start walking outside.

You know, I was, I got small enough for my knees weren't totally killing me and stronger I could start walking outside.

So I did that.

And over time I got to the point where I started doing a lot of walking, 10 to 15 miles every day.

Oh my goodness.

Slow paced walking, right?

You know, two, two and a quarter miles an hour.

The way I had a lot of time to do that.

I had a treadmill and I put a computer on it and I could type and work while I was walking on the treadmill.

Yeah.

We're coming up on a, on a short break here and I'm Anthony Wright and I'm your co host today on the Loving Conversation with Adam Dietz.

And our guest today is Stanley Bronstein.

And how can people contact you, Stanley?

On my website, the Way of excellence dot com.

Great.

And you've got a lot of stuff there so I encourage folks to take a look at that.

So we're going to take a short break and be right back.

So stay tuned.

I'm Anthony Wright and I am your co host with Adam Dietz.

Welcome on the Living Conversation.

And our guest is Stanley Bronstein.

And Stanley, before the break you were talking about the process of exercise in your losing, what was it, £200?

£220?

£220.

And you started by pool walking and then you did five hours in the pool and then now you're up to 15, 15 miles a day.

10.

10 To 15 miles.

How long did that take you to walk?

10 Miles, 15 miles, four or five hours a day?

Yeah, I walk slowly but you know, everybody always says you got to go fast, fast, fast, fast, fast.

No, that's not my philosophy.

And I don't agree with that.

Right.

And I actually prefer slow exercise because it allows you to spend a lot of time inside your own head.

Right.

You get to do a lot of thinking, and it really clears your head.

And I think it's better.

You know, when I started, all these experts told me I was doing it the wrong way.

You know, all I know is I lost 220 pounds.

I had my physical six or seven weeks ago.

I'll put my blood work numbers up against any 30 year old, and I'm 66.

Yeah.

So for all the people who said I was doing it wrong, maybe I figured something out that you should pay attention to.

So now let's talk about walking for a minute.

Is it necessary for anybody to do that much walking every day?

And why do I do that much walking every day?

I'm going to answer those two questions.

First question is, no, it is not necessary for you to walk as much as Stanley does, as much as I do.

I tell people, start with 20 minutes a day.

That's what you should shoot.

20 Minutes a day is good.

And if you can't do 20, do 10.

Do what you can do.

And if you build up to the point where you want to do more than 20, go for it.

Nothing wrong with that.

But shoot for 20.

It's all you need to do.

But you need to do movement.

So now why do I walk so much?

Because I can see this whole experience of losing all this weight and keeping it off without drugs or surgery and going from a person who couldn't walk two or three blocks and literally turning into a walking athlete at the age of 66 who walks.

I'm on a streak.

I've walked a half marathon or more every day for the last 16 months.

My goodness.

And?

And it doesn't tear me up.

And why don't I do it?

Like I said, because I can.

And because I am in year 18 of searching for my limits and I haven't found them yet.

And that is because this experience has taught me that I am more powerful than I ever imagined.

Way more powerful than I ever imagined.

And that's coming from a person who's pretty confident guy to begin with.

But if I'm more powerful than I ever imagined, what does that say about you, Anthony?

You, Adam, and anyone else who's listening?

If I'm more powerful, so are you.

I am no more special than you are.

You are no more special than I am.

The truth is, we are all special, each and every one of us.

We are all more powerful.

Than we ever imagined.

Way more powerful.

And once you learn to believe that about your power, you start asking yourself some interesting questions.

And the question I asked myself was if I'm capable of losing 220 pounds and keeping it off, that's 102 kilos for those of you who are thinking metric.

Yep.

Without drugs or surgery.

And I'm capable of turning into a walking machine who does a half marathon or more every day.

What else is out there waiting for me to do that I haven't done yet that I should be doing?

That's what it led me to ask.

And the answer I came up with.

Was.

Turn this into a system that other people can use to take what I have learned and apply it to their own life in their own way, in a way that works for them to make their life better.

And I've always been a systems thinker.

That's the accountant in me.

I've made a career turn taking complicated things and making them simple.

So what I wound up creating was what has evolved into what I call a human operating system.

Think of Windows 11, Mac OS, Android for what it is to be an excellent human being.

A set of software that you can apply and you can run in your own way.

Because the goal is not to create another Stanley.

The world already has one Stanley and doesn't need another one.

But what it does need is for each and every one of us to be the best we can be.

To maximize who we can be, to maximize what we can be.

That's what it needs.

Because if we ever want to straighten out this crazy, mixed up world we live in, this abundant, wonderful, lovely, crazy mixed up world we live in.

This wonderful, mixed up, crazy, abundant world that has incredible potential, that is in the process of turning into something absolutely fantastic.

If we want to make that happen, it's not going to be because our leaders magically woke up and all gathered together in a circle and started singing Kumbaya.

It's going to be because we as individuals got our stuff together and then we collectively got our stuff together and we started changing the world.

That's how this whole thing works.

So I created this system.

You have any questions or you want me to start going into the system a little bit?

Well, I think our listeners can resonate with a lot of what you're saying, starting from your, your mind.

You had some, you know, made some commitment to yourself, had some discipline, got your mind right and went from inner to outer and, and now are helping change the world in that way.

Right.

So I think I, I guess what I want to touch on and get down to is some things I found interesting were this concept of finding yourself, I think resonates for our listeners across philosophy.

The element that you have of incorporating your, your system into daily life is very important.

It's not some abstract thing.

It's not in a monastery.

Right.

And the.

So then I want to just touch on more about the spiritual element because I know you also emphasize mind, body and spirit alignment.

So can you say something about that element of your work?

Sure.

Okay.

This is the logo that I have for the system.

Three parts mind, body, spirit.

Not two parts.

If you notice, inside the red mind there is a yin yang that's blue and green.

Equal parts body and spirit.

Inside the blue body there's a red and green.

Equal parts mind and body.

Sorry, mind and spirit.

And inside the spirit there's equal parts mind and body.

That is because the mind feeds the body and spirit, the body feeds the mind and the spirit, and the spirit feeds the mind and the body.

They're all one.

And you see this little stick figure in the middle?

Yeah.

That's where you want to be.

Yes.

You want to be equal parts mind, body, spirit.

See, with me, my job was all mind thinking, thinking, thinking and thinking.

And then I'd go home and drink a bunch of scotch, sit on my butt, eat a bunch of crappy food.

And I was neglecting my body and it was damaging my spirit.

When I started paying attention to my body, started listening to my body, started putting healthy food into my body, stopped putting the poisonous alcohol into my body, stopped putting the chemical laden soda pop in my body, started walking, eating my body.

My body got stronger and I got more imbalance closer to the middle.

And my spirit picked up and I felt better.

But I even reached a point where I was paying so much attention to my body, I started neglecting my mind.

I didn't want to do my work.

I didn't feel like thinking, I felt like doing anything.

I just wanted to go out there and walk.

Yeah, I didn't want to do anything.

So I had to consciously go back and start paying a little more attention to my mind and giving it a little attention.

Now, I want to emphasize this is all about balance.

And I think you might appreciate this, Adam, because of your background.

And actually, I'm going to ask you a question because you might have a good answer for this.

First of all, what do you do to find balance?

Well, for myself, my studies and my practice all boiled down into a Tai Chi practice.

So I am Able to kind of reground myself every morning, in the morning routine.

Okay, so let me ask you, in your Tai Chi practice, are you finding balance or are you consciously and intentionally creating balance?

I would say I'm getting out of my own way and allowing balance to come forth.

That's one way to put it.

But you're, but it requires you to take action.

Non action.

I, and it's funny, you talk about Tai Chi.

Here's my definition of balance.

And I actually learned this in a Tai Chi class, believe it or not.

Balance is identifying everything in your life that's deficient and increasing it.

Identifying everything in your life that's excessive and decreasing it.

And that is how we achieve balance.

And so, and I like to say balance is something you intentionally and consciously create.

If you want to have a balanced life, figure things out for yourself and go create it.

And you know, and, and you know, we could argue semantics here.

I would say, you know, you would say Tai Chi gets you out of your own own way and the balance comes to you.

I would say that you intentionally and consciously do, purposefully do Tai Chi because it gets you out of your own.

Yeah, sure, but it's semantics, right?

And this idea of making the effort, right, that, you know, setting, having some will, having some will, making an effort, those are the first steps.

Having.

Well, I guess maybe the first step for you and for everyone is, is having a breaking point, a recognition.

Lao Tzu says in the Tao Te Ching that when you're sick of sickness, then you can move forward.

And that reminds me of when you were speaking earlier how you were disgusted and that moved you forward.

Let's move into the system because you just hit right on the starting point of the system.

Okay, well, we have to take a short break.

I'm Anthony Wright and I'm your co host today on the Living Conversation with Adam Dietz.

Thanks for joining here with our guest Stanley Bronstein.

And he has a website called the Way of Excellence.

And how can people contact you?

The Way of Excellence Dot com.

Great.

All there.

All right, we'll take a short break and be right back.

So stay tuned.

I'm Anthony Wright and I am your co host today on the Living Conversation with Adam Dietz.

Welcome.

And we are talking with our guest Stanley Bronstein.

And before the break, Stanley, you were talking about coming to Balance and you were about to talk about what you have developed.

So tell us a bit more about that, please.

Okay, well, I'm going to elaborate upon what Adam said.

A moment of recognition when you become Sick of the sickness.

Sick of being sick.

That, that's what essentially what I was.

I was sick of being sick.

I was disgusted with myself.

Anybody who's been to a 12 step program, the first thing is admit you have a problem.

Okay?

So in my system, my system is called the Way of Excellence.

Here's a nice color coded chart of it, and there's a larger version on the wall behind me.

It's all on the website.

Website, yeah, yeah.

And you can tell by how color coded it is and everything lines up.

How anal I am.

But you're an accountant for goodness.

Yeah, but.

Okay, these are 20 traits that I have found or characteristic of an excellent human being.

Number one, as Adam hit on awareness, learning to tell it like it is.

Stop BSing yourself.

Change my life or I'm gonna be dead.

You can't be any more aware than that.

But there is a second component to it, and that is acting upon that awareness.

See, that was not the first time I told myself, I need to lose weight or I'm going to be dead.

And that was not the first time I took action.

But it was the first time I permanently took action.

So there's an issue of permanence.

This hits on three concepts in the system.

They all tie together.

Number one, awareness.

Number 11, persistence.

Never give up.

Never surrender.

Get started.

Keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going.

My favorite animal, my totem animal, is the snail.

This is Stanley the snail.

Say hello to everybody.

Okay, Stanley the snail.

He's steady, he's diligent, he's persistent.

He keeps going, keeps going, keeps going.

And then number 16, willingness.

And you kind of mentioned it a little bit earlier in the thing, because unless and until you become permanently willing to permanently do what it takes for the rest of your hopefully very long, hopefully very happy, hopefully very healthy life, you are not going to permanently get what you want.

That's because temporary action is going to give you temporary results.

Permanent action is going to give you permanent results.

See, the first times I lost weight, I went right back to my old habits.

Boom, weight came back on, plus more, the one time I stopped eating meals in the middle of the night, that was a permanent change.

That was good for a 45 pound permanent weight loss.

I gained weight back, but I never got back to my full max, you know, so I didn't realize it at the time, but these are things I've figured out along the way.

So those are big things.

It starts with awareness and willingness to permanently act.

Now, number two, in the system.

Long term thinking.

Life is a long term game.

The problem is we live in a short term world.

Everything is instant.

You know, Uber, Siri, Alexa, chat, GPT, Gemini, streaming video.

Watch what you want, when you want it.

You know, everything.

Instant pressure too.

Yes, there's nothing wrong with that as long as you realize that and you use it properly.

But the problem is life's a long term game.

Let me ask you, making spaghetti sauce, can you just cut up a bunch of tomatoes, throw them in a pot and five minutes later you got spaghetti sauce?

No, that stuff has to cook slow, simmer all day, maybe even into the second day to with the herbs and the spices to come out just right.

So it takes time.

So we need to learn to think in decades and then act daily in accordance with those thinking.

See, every time I went to a Chinese buffet, every time I came home from work and drank a bunch of scotch, every time I drank a bunch of soda pop, every time I sat on my butt, every time I ate crappy food, I was knocking days, months, weeks, well, years off my life and lessening the quality of my life during those years.

I was.

My short term gratification was mortgaging my long term future.

And it was when I stopped doing those things that I began getting what I wanted.

Then number three, personal responsibility.

It was not my mother's fault that she died when I was 8 years old.

It was not my father's fault that he had no clue how to eat properly, that he had no clue that I could have used counseling.

At the time, he didn't know that.

And if you did go to counseling, you were just because you were crazy.

You know, you didn't do that.

And it wasn't my fault either.

I was a child, I didn't know any better.

And all of this, forget fault.

Blame is irrelevant.

All that matters is figuring out what needs to be done and then doing it.

That's it.

So if you're a politician in Washington and you're listening, stop blaming each other.

Blame is irrelevant.

Blame accomplishes nothing.

Figure out what needs to be done, get together and start doing it.

It's all that matters.

Now that's the end of my political soapbox.

Number four, embracing change.

See, the problem is most people fear change.

You know, when you have feel fear, you can do one of two things.

You can forget everything and run or you can face everything in rise.

I recommend you face everything in rise.

And the reason why Is all the good things you want in life.

All the good things you as a spiritual being want while you're having this human experience are on the other side of your fear.

So face your fear and work through your fear and start enjoying the things.

And then five.

Positive focus.

Focusing on what's possible.

You know, pay attention to your word choice.

Start using the word can.

Stop using the word can't.

Start focusing on the positive.

Stop focusing on the negative.

Start focusing on the good.

Stop focusing on the bad.

Engage in positive self talk.

Stop with the negative self talk.

Your brain pays attention to every single thing you tell.

Is listening and is listening constantly.

And in the immortal words of Yoda, do or do not.

There is no try.

Right.

You know, it.

It really is that simple.

And then do we have three or four?

How much time do we have left, Anthony?

Because I have a story to tell here on the next about four minutes.

Okay, that's another section.

Yep.

Okay, let's talk about perspective for a minute.

All of these things I'm talking about sound like things.

Oh, I have to do this, I have to do that, I have to do this, I have to do that.

Makes it sound tough.

I was writing a book at the time where I drove around the whole United States, interview 50 people with amazing stories and put them in a book.

When I went to Hawaii, person I talked to said, are you going to interview Peggy Chun?

I said, who's that?

I don't know who she is.

Well, the universe sent me to Peggy Chun.

I called her daughter.

She said, come on over tomorrow.

You can talk to my mother.

When I met Peggy, she was in the final stages of Lou Gehrig's disease, als.

Oh, boy.

She was completely bedridden.

Could not move, could not speak.

On a ventilator.

The only way she could communicate, trained people would hold up an eye chart and they could read her eye movements.

She could spell words.

When I saw her, I said, if I ever get like that, I want to be dead.

You know, Seriously, I don't want to live.

I wanted.

I don't.

I want to be dead.

Well, that was not Peggy's attitude.

Peggy's attitude was, my grandkids are coming over later today.

I can see out the window.

It's a beautiful sunny day.

They're going to roll me outside and I'm going to play with my grandkids and we're going to paint and we're going to have a great, wonderful time.

You're getting ready to drive around the whole United States and interview these 50amazing people.

That sounds like so much fun.

Tell me about them.

I want to hear their stories.

I wish I could go with you.

This woman who was in a state where I would want to be dead, had more joy for life than anyone I've met in my 66 years of life.

So when I started getting up in the morning and I didn't feel like walking, I don't want to walk today.

Well, you know the old question, what would Jesus do?

I started saying, what would Peggy Chun do if she could?

And the answer is, Peggy would have gotten her lazy ass out of bed and she'd have gone for a walk and she might not ever come back because she was having such a good time.

Anytime I come across something I don't want to do, I do it anyway.

And I say, this one's for you, Peggy.

I still remember to this day.

She's been gone, you know, for a long, many years.

But I still remember to this day.

And I will always remember her.

So it's perspective.

There's only one thing in life you have to do, and that is die.

You don't even have to pay tax.

You don't even have to pay taxes.

You might go to jail, but you don't have to pay taxes.

All you have to do is die.

That's it.

Everything else is a privilege.

Breathing the air is a privilege.

Going out and exercising is a privilege.

Eating healthy food is a privilege.

Associating with good quality people like Adam and Anthony is a privilege.

Talking about high quality subjects like we're doing right now, is a privilege.

Realize that because when you're dead, that privilege is gone.

You can't do it anymore.

Does that make sense?

Very good.

Very good.

It really does.

And, and I think part of what you're offering us is something that will carry on beyond your physical life into other people's lives.

And that's, that's really quite a gift.

And, and what you've been talking about is really, it's very straightforward and there's no, no hocus pocus about it.

No, I'm, I'm pretty, I'm pretty blunt.

I, I had someone this weekend.

He's a very spiritual person.

Tell me I was blunt and my response was just like you.

Well, I have to be, I have to be blunt right now.

We have to take a short break.

I'm Anthony Wright and I'm your co host today on the Living Conversation.

With Adam Dietz.

Thanks for joining me.

And we're here with our guest, Stanley Bronstein.

And you have a website called the Way of Excellence.

And how can people contact you?

Just go to the website, the way of excellence.com, which I'm assuming you'll put in the show.

Notes, please.

Yes, absolutely.

All right, we will take a short break and be right back.

So stay tuned.

I'm Anthony Wright and I am your co host today on the Living Conversation with Adam Dietz.

Welcome back.

And we are talking with our guest, Stanley Bronstein.

And before the break, Stanley, you were talking about this lady in Hawaii, Pen, Peggy Chun.

Yes.

And she had als and sounds like she's been a continuing inspiration to you.

Absolutely.

And what more do you have in what your system does and what we can take away from this?

Let me keep going.

Okay, number seven, vision.

Okay, vision, Vision.

What do you envision for yourself?

Dream big, bold, hairy, scary, crazy dreams.

You know?

You know what my big, bold, hairy, scary, crazy dream is?

What's that?

World peace.

Unified world with world peace.

That is my vision.

That is what I am working toward.

Is that, is that big enough?

Great universal piece.

Yes.

And that's it.

You know, dream big.

Push yourself for those things.

That's one of the reasons I eat healthy and do what I do, because I want to be around to make these things happen.

I want to be around to see these things happen.

You know, it's not going to happen in the next five minutes.

Probably not the next ten.

Yeah.

So work on that.

Number eight.

The opposite of the law of attraction, the law of reciprocity.

Learning to give first.

Yep.

Giving to others is what the world is about.

Giving to others is a privilege.

If you see a homeless person, you don't have to help them.

You get to help them.

It is your privilege.

You know, a friend calls, you need some help.

It is your privilege to help them.

You know, all these things.

If, if the people in this world, if we would all start giving to each other, you know what would happen?

Eventually, somebody would give something to you.

That is how the law of attraction actually works.

But people misunderstand it.

Give first with no expectation of return and realize that sometimes when you give to someone, they may never be in a position to give back to you, but someone else who is in a position to help you might do just that.

It might help you.

Okay.

Well, it's one of the reasons why we do this show, actually.

Yeah.

It's really, to use your words, it's really a privilege to talk with folks across the country, across the world for our listeners.

Yeah.

And because of something which actually touches into Concept 13, which we'll get to in a minute, you actually care about other people.

Believe it or not, you actually care about somebody besides yourself.

What a novel concept, caring about somebody besides yourself.

Duh.

It's so simple.

You think we would all do it more often.

Okay, number nine, why is use of your time, energy and resources?

I tell people you have 86, 400 seconds every day.

How do you use them?

Learn to use them more wisely.

I'm not saying never have fun.

I'm not saying never waste time.

I'm just saying don't waste time all the time.

And I tell people, you want a place to start, set aside 15 minutes a day for yourself.

I don't care how busy you are, I don't care what you're doing.

You can find 15 minutes a day for yourself.

And if you would set aside 15 minutes day for yourself and combine it with 20 minutes a day walking, you will set aside over 200 hours a year of time spent on yourself.

That is more than five work weeks.

That is a month of time.

You can do a lot in a month of time.

And that's not a lot of time if you do it a little bit every day.

So start by doing that.

Me, I set aside hours every day for myself.

That's one of the reasons I walk so much, is because it allows me to think.

You know, one of the things that occurs to me as you are talking is I'm hearing the accountant and I'm hearing the value of accountability.

Yeah.

And what, what building slowly is.

And in small compounding.

Compounding integrals.

Absolutely.

Oh, no, it's a, A tremendous, tremendously powerful thing.

Yeah.

I don't think people track.

You know, I follow a simple say beat yesterday.

That's your goal.

You want to be better today than you were yesterday, but realize something, even.

By a little bit.

Yes.

But even if you make a mistake today, as long as you.

And in the past, when you made a mistake, you would fall down, you'd beat yourself upside the head, say, I'm not good, I'm worthless, and fall into the rabbit hole.

If instead you say, well, I made a mistake.

Mistakes are proof that I'm trying.

Yeah.

You know, what can I learn from it?

That is beating yesterday.

Yep.

Yep.

And that's my daughter.

My, my daughter is down syndrome.

And the wisest thing she ever said to me when she made a mistake is, oh, silly me.

And she has a very kind.

Yeah.

Demeanor about And a gentleness about herself and a playfulness.

Yeah.

You know, and I think that, that, that's one of the things that you're, you're bringing to an awareness.

I don't get a sense that this is weighty at all, but yet you're, you're, you're paying attention to what's happening.

And it, it is the lightest heavy duty thing you're ever.

Exactly.

Exactly is what it is.

So number 10, taking consistent action.

Action that is consistent with your goals.

See, I always said I wanted to lose weight and get in shape.

Then I would go eat Chinese buffets, drink a bunch of scotch, sit on my butt, eat crappy food and, you know, and I wasn't getting in shape.

Somebody actually told me the other day said you were getting in shape, just not the shape you wanted to be.

You know, so.

But when I started, stopped going to the Chinese buffet, started bringing healthy food to work, stopped drinking alcohol, started, you know, exercising, guess what?

I started getting in shape like I wanted.

You know, real simple.

Your actions should be consistent with your, consistent with your stated goals and desires.

Then number 11, we already touched on persistence.

Never give up.

Never surrender.

Keep going.

Keep, keep going.

Keep going.

Keep going.

Fall down seven times.

Get up eight.

Me, I've fallen down a thousand times.

And I've gotten up a thousand and one.

And when I got up that thousand and first time, baby, I haven't fallen down in a long time because I'm on a roll.

And, and it's not a jelly roll, you know, it's.

You know, it's just, it builds.

It kind of.

You talk about expounding.

One of my books on my website that's free is called the way of Constant and Never Ending Improvement, abbreviated as Can I?

And the answer is yes, you can.

So it just, it builds.

Okay.

12.

Integrity, honesty, loyalty, sincerity, trustworthiness.

Those are all traits of excellent human beings.

13.

Respect.

Respect for others and respect for yourself.

So, you know, one of the problems, and especially in this world today, is there are a lot of people out there who are trying to command respect, who don't deserve it.

They haven't earned it.

They're acting pretty bad and they want respect.

Well, does that mean you should treat them disrespectfully just because they're bad people?

No.

And that is because the respect you give is a measure of your character, not theirs.

Absolutely.

You respect others because you're a person who respects others.

They can be a piece of crap.

They can be worthless.

That's irrelevant.

All that matters Is that you give the respect because that's who you are.

And then while you're at it, respect yourself.

See, I used to complain that I didn't get the level of respect I wanted from others, all while I was walking around at £367.

So I was outwardly showing people that on some level I didn't respect myself enough to take care of myself.

So is it any wonder I didn't get the level of respect from them I wanted?

No.

And when I started losing the weight, guess what happened?

I got more respect.

Is it perfect?

No.

I still have people who, you know, treat me less than ideally, but that's the way it goes.

That's part of life.

Not about you, though.

It's about them.

Yes.

Usually.

Yes.

Okay.

15.

Sorry.

14.

The way of alternatives.

Win.

Win.

Thinking we live in an abundant world.

There is more than enough for each and every one of us.

The problem is things are misallocated.

Learn.

Learn that in order for me to win, it doesn't mean you have to lose.

Non zero sum.

Yes.

I do not have to crush you in order to lift myself up.

We can all lift each other up.

And that is a big thing that this world could use a lot of right now.

Then, 15.

Balance.

We already talked about that.

Identifying what's deficient, increasing it.

Identify what's excessive, decreasing it.

That's balance.

16.

We already talked about willingness.

You know, unless and until you're permanently willing to permanently do what it takes, you're not going to permanently do what you want.

It's that simple.

Willingness.

17.

Belief.

We sort of touched on that.

Believe you can, believe you can't.

Either way, you're going to be right.

You know, I've learned that I am more powerful than I ever imagined.

And that has led me to not believe, but to know that everyone listening, everyone in this world, is also more powerful than they ever imagined.

Yep.

We're coming to the end here, so please cover your last several points because this is really wonderful.

Okay.

18.

Discipline.

Self discipline.

I don't mean punishment.

Taking the time to intentionally and consciously identify all of your negative habits and eliminating them.

Chinese buffets.

Gone.

Scotch every day.

Gone.

Soda popper, every day.

Gone.

Sitting on my butt every day.

Gone.

And then intentionally and consciously replacing them with positive habits.

Walking every day.

Yes.

Only eating healthy food every day.

Yes.

Only drinking healthy things every day.

Yes.

Taking time to meditate and think and gather myself every day.

Yes.

That kind of discipline.

Anybody wants to know more about habits, there's a book called Atomic Habits by James Clear.

Fantastic, fantastic book on this.

You know.

Atomic Habits by James Clear.

You got to read it.

You know, people told me I should write a book on habits.

And I said, why?

The book is already out there and you don't need another one.

It says it all.

Yeah.

Okay, now, last couple of points.

19.

2 Point.

Well, and we've already touched on one of them.

Commitment.

Commitment.

When you become 100 committed to a thing, it becomes easier.

See, that's because it takes the decision making out of the process.

I am 100 committed that no unhealthy food will enter my mouth, no unhealthy thoughts will enter my head.

I will only hang around and associate with healthy, good people to be around.

And sometimes you have family members, you can't avoid them.

But, you know, that's the way it goes.

I won't.

I will.

To the best of my ability, I will only engage in healthy activities such as this podcast.

I'm talking with two quality individuals about quality subjects in front of a quality audience.

No better way to use my time.

Y you know, so those.

So those that see, like, I'll be real quick.

Y commit commitment.

The commitment.

The week before Christmas, AOR I work with delivered cupcakes and cookies to me.

She obviously didn't know my eating habits.

Did I get upset?

No.

Did it even enter my mind to eat those?

No.

The reality is I could eat, tasted it.

I think at this point, I'm disciplined enough where I could have a cookie, I could drink, I could drink a shot of scotch, I could drink a soda pop and not go back down the rabbit hole.

But the reality is I have no business touching those things.

I've already had my lifetime share of those.

I've had Adam's lifetime share, I've had Anthony's lifetime share and 20 other people's lifetime, you know, don't need them.

So instead I gave them to a neighbor who lives down the street.

She's very skinny, she likes the stuff, she enjoyed it.

Everybody was happy.

So the thought never entered my mind.

That's because that's how I'm committed to walking every day.

I've committed to only eating healthy food every day.

And then number 20 is integration of mind, body and spirit, which we already talked about, you know, when we went over this thing.

The mind feeds the body and spirit, the body feeds the mind and spirit, and the spirit feeds the mind and the body.

That's the whole system in a nutshell.

If anybody who goes to my website, the main page you go on, there's a video on each one of these 20 things.

The videos are eight to 12 minutes each.

They're halfway entertaining that way.

And they're kids safe and they're kid friendly.

So you can watch them with kids, grandkids, whatever.

Oh, that's really cool.

Watch one a day.

In less than a month, you'll learn the whole system.

Yeah.

And then you can start incorporating it into your life.

Well, I'm so sorry that we are out of time.

Thank you so much for being with us.

I'm Anthony Wright and I've been your co host today on the Living Conversation with Adam Dietz.

Thanks for joining, Dietz.

And our guest has been Stanley Bronstein.

And how can people contact you, Stanley?

Go to my website, leewayof excellence.com.

Great.

It's all there.

You can contact me there.

All the materials on my website are free.

Excellent.

I made them free because it's my gift to you.

It's my privilege to give you these things.

Yeah.

Well, and that's our privilege to have you.

Thank you so much for listening and we'll see you next time.