Unknown:
00:00:00
Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis
Unknown:
00:00:02
experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to be
Unknown:
00:00:06
spending some time with you today. If you liked this
Unknown:
00:00:10
podcast, make sure to subscribe. If you want to leave me a review
Unknown:
00:00:14
on Apple podcast, it would mean the world to me is the strongest
Unknown:
00:00:19
currency among podcasters. Let's dive into today's episode. I
Unknown:
00:00:29
love you. Libra day tiama. Very powerful words. And I feel
Unknown:
00:00:46
sometimes we use these words very loosely. We say them. But
Unknown:
00:00:54
do we really mean them in the morning? Or what do they mean to
Unknown:
00:01:00
us? In the moment, sometimes we say them to appease someone to
Unknown:
00:01:09
make someone feel comfortable. Maybe it became a routine that
Unknown:
00:01:15
you say, I love you before you go to sleep. But now after a
Unknown:
00:01:21
while you feel like you're just saying it because it's part of a
Unknown:
00:01:26
routine. I noticed that it's very important to be careful
Unknown:
00:01:34
with your words. And to use your words wisely. x especially
Unknown:
00:01:42
sorry, when it comes to romantic relationships. What is it that
Unknown:
00:01:49
we really want from that relationship? How do we see our
Unknown:
00:01:54
partner? How did we chose this situation? romantic situation?
Unknown:
00:02:01
How do we choose our partner? Can we take him or her as part
Unknown:
00:02:10
of ourselves. And it's a very fine line between taking the
Unknown:
00:02:20
person as part of yourself and melting into one person and not
Unknown:
00:02:28
feeling individuality anymore. And it's a fine line that we
Unknown:
00:02:35
have to distinguish. Because the danger is if you melt into one
Unknown:
00:02:43
person that you one day, wake up and don't know who you are. He
Unknown:
00:02:52
only define yourself through your relationship. You don't
Unknown:
00:02:58
really have like a true opinion or a view through your glasses
Unknown:
00:03:08
anymore. Everything is kind of melted together into one person.
Unknown:
00:03:16
And for some it might sound very romantic. When to we come one.
Unknown:
00:03:25
But it is tricky over time when you lose that sense of self. So
Unknown:
00:03:35
I love you. I love to sometimes replace it by I understand you.
Unknown:
00:03:45
I see you. And maybe right now in this moment when I say these
Unknown:
00:03:53
words. I understand you might be going even deeper than I love
Unknown:
00:04:04
you. Maybe because I'm a stranger to you. But maybe
Unknown:
00:04:11
because feeling understood is really what we're craving when
Unknown:
00:04:17
we are in love with someone. We are attracted to the other
Unknown:
00:04:24
person we are drawn to the other person. We're curious about the
Unknown:
00:04:30
other person. But what do we want to feel? We want to feel
Unknown:
00:04:37
understood we want to feel seen. We want to feel heard and what
Unknown:
00:04:46
is your part? What do you have to do in order for the other
Unknown:
00:04:53
person to see you.
Unknown:
00:04:57
First of all, you have to know who you are You have to know who
Unknown:
00:05:02
you are, to be successful in life. But especially to be
Unknown:
00:05:10
successful when it comes to relationships, and not only
Unknown:
00:05:15
romantic relationships, but also friendships. You have to know
Unknown:
00:05:20
your boundaries, you have to know what you need and want. And
Unknown:
00:05:28
then you have to learn and know how to express yourself in order
Unknown:
00:05:34
to have these needs met, to feel heard, and understood and seen.
Unknown:
00:05:43
So what I'm trying to say here is that if the other person
Unknown:
00:05:48
truly loves you, they will do everything to try and see you
Unknown:
00:05:55
and understand you. And the question is, are you doing your
Unknown:
00:06:00
part so that they can see you. A lot of times we hide behind our
Unknown:
00:06:10
pain, pain that we had to go through with another partner in
Unknown:
00:06:15
the past. We don't want to get hurt again. Sometimes it is
Unknown:
00:06:21
belief systems, it can be religious beliefs, or family
Unknown:
00:06:28
beliefs, society believes that don't make us open up as much as
Unknown:
00:06:35
it would need to connect truly with a person. Sometimes it is
Unknown:
00:06:43
deep shame and feelings of guilt, that don't really make us
Unknown:
00:06:51
open up. They make us hold back, they make us have these walls
Unknown:
00:06:59
around us without us seeing them. But we keep wondering, Why
Unknown:
00:07:05
can we not connect with people on a deeper level? What is it
Unknown:
00:07:10
that is preventing us? It is kind of,
Unknown:
00:07:14
you know, the water on a duck that just pearls off and doesn't
Unknown:
00:07:21
sink into the feathers? Which in the ducks cases important? I
Unknown:
00:07:30
know you know what I mean? So it's a very interesting concept,
Unknown:
00:07:38
I think that I was introduced to
Unknown:
00:07:42
a couple of years ago, I said, you take your partner as
Unknown:
00:07:46
yourself. Can you embrace every part of your partner? Why are
Unknown:
00:07:53
you still judgmental and scared? turned off by certain things
Unknown:
00:08:02
that your partner is representing. And you have to go
Unknown:
00:08:11
deeper and ask yourself more question, can you embrace these
Unknown:
00:08:14
things that you still don't 100% agree with or like because
Unknown:
00:08:21
otherwise, it might be like a little sliver, you know, that is
Unknown:
00:08:24
bugging you. For the rest of the relationship. You have to take
Unknown:
00:08:29
the other person as part of yourself. And you have to do
Unknown:
00:08:34
your best in order to be open and vulnerable. And strong, like
Unknown:
00:08:43
a strong sense of self. No, this is not what I allow. Yes, this
Unknown:
00:08:51
is exactly what I want. Let's say you're used to a lot of
Unknown:
00:08:58
physical touch in your relationship or a lot of talking
Unknown:
00:09:03
and discussing. When you meet a new partner, you have to make
Unknown:
00:09:09
sure that these needs are met because a lot of times we meet
Unknown:
00:09:17
somebody and they're so fascinating this so beautiful
Unknown:
00:09:23
inside out and interesting. And we kind of push our needs away
Unknown:
00:09:31
within think yeah, that's that's okay, for now. I'm just
Unknown:
00:09:35
mesmerized by that person. But if you forget to check in if
Unknown:
00:09:41
your needs can be met that person from the get go, you're
Unknown:
00:09:46
just wasting your time. And it doesn't mean that you cannot be
Unknown:
00:09:53
compatible with people that don't exactly need the same
Unknown:
00:09:57
things that you need. But yeah Have to make sure that you in
Unknown:
00:10:01
some sort of an or another, express what you need and want,
Unknown:
00:10:08
and don't fool yourself and waste time
Unknown:
00:10:12
and trying to ignore these things. And if you express these
Unknown:
00:10:21
things, you have to have that sense of self worth, and
Unknown:
00:10:27
self respect and confidence to really ask and see if that
Unknown:
00:10:34
person can meet you where you want to meet them. My most
Unknown:
00:10:40
favorite question, when it comes to dating is what I you
Unknown:
00:10:46
available for?
Unknown:
00:10:49
What is it that we want. And a lot of people, especially men, I
Unknown:
00:10:58
feel will get maybe a little bit nervous. Because they know they
Unknown:
00:11:04
can just say, Oh, I just want to have sex, I just want to have
Unknown:
00:11:08
fun, because that might turn you off. And that might make you run
Unknown:
00:11:13
away. But I encourage everybody to seek authenticity, as
Unknown:
00:11:21
uncomfortable as it might feel most of the time. Because if
Unknown:
00:11:28
you're trying to manipulate the person or push them into a box
Unknown:
00:11:32
into into your dream box, you will have ugly surprises in the
Unknown:
00:11:40
future. You have to create a very trustworthy ground around
Unknown:
00:11:49
yourself and for the other person to fully open up and let
Unknown:
00:11:55
you know what they are all about and what they want without
Unknown:
00:11:59
vailable for in order, also for you to trust them. But most
Unknown:
00:12:05
importantly for you to not waste any time and refrain from being
Unknown:
00:12:11
judgmental, if the answer is something that you didn't want
Unknown:
00:12:15
to learn about the other person because it is their truth. It is
Unknown:
00:12:23
them being vulnerable and authentic. And it gives you the
Unknown:
00:12:29
opportunity to be completely authentic and yourself. And
Unknown:
00:12:36
again, if things come up that you didn't want to hear, but it
Unknown:
00:12:40
is their truth. then know that it is your ego reacting it is
Unknown:
00:12:46
your mind wanting to judge and get rid of or whatever radical
Unknown:
00:12:53
thoughts come up. It is not your heart. Your heart always wants
Unknown:
00:12:58
to meet people in the middle lesson and comfort and be close.
Unknown:
00:13:05
Make that little distinction and seek authenticity. I love you. I
Unknown:
00:13:16
see you. I understand you are such powerful words. And the
Unknown:
00:13:26
feelings that come up when you say these words when you hear
Unknown:
00:13:30
these words, is what you want to go for. And for whatever feels
Unknown:
00:13:36
strange. check in with yourself. If it is your mind and your ego
Unknown:
00:13:44
trying to come up with strange judgmental ideas or is it your
Unknown:
00:13:51
heart that just
Unknown:
00:13:54
is not in a place yet to be opened up again. From the bottom
Unknown:
00:14:00
of my heart, thank you so much for listening. I will be out
Unknown:
00:14:05
there very soon again, make sure to subscribe. Make sure to leave
Unknown:
00:14:09
me a review on Apple podcast and take really good care of
