Why "Everything in Moderation" Is Terrible Advice (And What Works Instead)
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode!
I'm about to challenge one of the most popular pieces of weight loss advice that everyone - and I mean EVERYONE - gives. Your doctor says it, fitness influencers preach it, your well-meaning friends repeat it, and it's probably advice you've tried to follow yourself.
"Just eat everything in moderation."
Sounds reasonable, right? Sounds balanced and sustainable. It's the advice that makes everyone nod along and think "Yes, that makes perfect sense."
Here's the thing: "everything in moderation" is unhelpful and actually harmful. Today, I'm going to explain exactly why this advice keeps you stuck and what you should do instead.
By the end of this episode, you'll understand why this seemingly logical advice goes against everything we know about psychology and human behavior. You'll have a much better framework to work with.
Here we go.
The popular framework
Let's start with why "everything in moderation" sounds so appealing and why everyone teaches it.
First, it sounds balanced and reasonable. It doesn't ask you to eliminate entire food groups or follow extreme rules. It suggests you can have your cake and eat it too - literally.
Second, it puts the responsibility on you to figure out what "moderation" means. It sounds like wisdom: "Just be moderate. Use common sense. Don't go overboard."
Third, it makes the advice-giver look reasonable and non-extreme. They're not the "diet police" telling you what you can and can't eat. They're the balanced, sensible expert.
Fourth, it seems to acknowledge that restriction doesn't work. It appears to be the middle ground between "never eat sugar again" and "eat whatever you want."
Here's what's happening when someone gives you this advice: They're essentially saying "Just have willpower, but not too much willpower. Just have self-control, but not too much self-control. Just figure it out."
It's like telling someone who's struggling with anxiety to "just relax in moderation." Or telling someone with insomnia to "just sleep moderately." It completely ignores the underlying psychology of why someone is struggling in the first place.
Here’s what’s amazing - nobody ever defines what "moderation" actually means. Is it one cookie or three? Is it pizza once a week or once a month? Is it a glass of wine with dinner or just on weekends?
The advice sounds helpful, but it's completely vague and puts all the burden on you to figure out something that even experts can't agree on.
Why this framework fails
Now let me explain exactly why "everything in moderation" fails so spectacularly, especially for people who struggle with emotional eating or food obsession.
Failure Point #1: It ignores the psychology of restriction
Even the word "moderation" implies restriction. It suggests that there's a "right" amount and a "wrong" amount, and you need to control yourself to stay in the "right" zone.
Here's what psychology tells us: The moment you tell your brain that you need to moderate something, your brain starts obsessing about it. It's the "don't think about a pink elephant" phenomenon. The more you try to moderate your intake of something, the more you think about it.
Failure Point #2: It assumes all foods affect you the same way
"Everything in moderation" treats all foods as if they have the same psychological impact on you. That's not how your brain works.
Maybe you can easily have one piece of dark chocolate and feel satisfied. But maybe when you have "moderate" amounts of ice cream, it triggers a binge. Maybe you can have a reasonable portion of pasta, but chips send you into a spiral of overeating.
This advice ignores your individual triggers and treats your brain like a simple calculator instead of the complex emotional system it actually is.
Failure Point #3: It doesn't address WHY you're overeating
If you're emotionally eating, "eat in moderation" is like putting a band-aid on a broken pipe. You're not overeating because you don't understand portion sizes. You're overeating because you're using food to cope with stress, boredom, loneliness, or other emotions.
Telling someone who eats their feelings to "just eat in moderation" is like telling someone who drinks to cope with trauma to "just drink in moderation." It completely misses the point.
Failure Point #4: It creates a new form of restriction
Here's the sneaky thing about moderation advice: it's still restriction, just dressed up to sound reasonable. Your brain still experiences "only eat a reasonable amount of cookies" as a rule to follow and eventually rebel against.
And when you inevitably eat more than what you decided was "moderate," you feel like you failed. You think you lack willpower or self-control, when you're experiencing a normal psychological response to restriction.
Failure Point #5: It assumes you can think your way out of emotional patterns
"Everything in moderation" is a logical solution to an emotional problem. It assumes that if you just think rationally about food, you'll naturally eat the right amounts.
Emotional eating isn't rational. When you're stressed and reach for food, you're not thinking "I should eat a moderate amount of this." You're seeking comfort, distraction, or numbing. Logic doesn't work when emotions are driving the bus.
What actually works
So if "everything in moderation" doesn't work, what does?
Focus on awareness.
Before you eat anything, ask yourself: "What do I need right now?" If you need nourishment because you're hungry, eat mindfully until you're satisfied. If you need comfort because you're stressed, acknowledge that and see if you can meet that need directly.
Understand your triggers.
Figure out which foods or situations send you into emotional eating patterns. You don't have to avoid these forever. Understanding your individual psychology helps you make conscious choices.
Build internal trust.
The goal is to develop such a strong relationship with yourself that you naturally eat in a way that serves you, without needing external rules or guidelines.
Give yourself full permission.
This sounds scary, but here's the truth: when you truly give yourself permission to eat anything, the obsession starts to fade. When nothing is forbidden, nothing has special power over you.
Learn to process your emotions.
If you're eating emotionally, the solution is to develop other ways to handle your emotions so you don't need food to cope.
Action steps
Here's what I want you to try this week:
Stop asking "How much should I eat?" and start asking "What do I actually need right now?"
Stop trying to eat "moderate" amounts of your trigger foods and start understanding why those foods trigger you in the first place.
Stop following external rules about what's "reasonable" and start building trust in your own internal wisdom.
Here's what I know about you: You don't need someone else to tell you what moderation looks like. You need to understand your own mind well enough to make choices that truly serve you.
That's real freedom. That's what actually works long-term.
You've got this, and I'll see you next week!
