On a wedding day filled with anticipation, a bride speaks words that reveal the secret to lasting attraction. In Episode 2 of Journey Through the Song, Sam and Debbie explore why true romance is deeper than chemistry—and why character, integrity, and a life shaped by Christ are what make love truly intoxicating. If you’ve ever wondered what keeps passion alive beyond the honeymoon, this episode will challenge and inspire you.

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Welcome to the Fortifying youg Family podcast.

It can be daunting to navigate through an anti marriage and family culture.

Our teacher will expound biblical principles to help fortify our families and keep these sacred institutions strong.

And now, here's this week's teaching from Sam Wood.

Hey, it's so good to be back.

We're Sam and Debbie and we're on a exciting journey through the Song of Songs, the most beautiful song of all songs that have ever been written.

And if you missed last week, the introduction, I hope you'll go back and take time to listen to that.

I think it'll be very helpful to you.

We're going to dive in tonight, get started.

We want to cover some ground tonight with verses two and three of chapter one and talk about them.

And there's just a lot of meat there and exciting things to discuss and share.

And so let me just jump right in with verse two.

And it's a wedding day.

The shulamite is in the palace.

She knows she's going to marry her husband later that day.

And she's thinking about that.

And it gives us this statement in verse two of something that she is thinking.

She says, let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for thy love is better than wine.

Now, the word love there is has a sexual connotation in the Hebrew.

It's dodem.

And she's thinking, your sexual love with me later, after we marry tonight is going to be better than wine.

And the word wine refers to a big party, a big feast.

So she's saying, hey, baby, your love is going to be better than a big party or better than a big feast.

Oftentimes when I'm sharing these verses, I'll tell the guys or I'll show you the guys.

Hey, how long has it been since your wife looked over at you and said, hey, baby, kiss me with the kisses of your mouth, for your love is better than a big party.

And a lot of them will look at me like, oh, it's been a long time.

And I say, well, listen, why was she saying that?

What made her so drawn to him?

And it's exciting to see some of the things she says that made her drawn to him to say that.

Well, first of all, I'm delighted that we have a God that understands kissing, that gives us this freedom to enjoy each other and enjoy kissing.

So make sure that's a big part.

Of your marriage as a husband and wife.

It's something we ought to frequently do.

That's right.

But why was it she could enjoy those kisses.

What was it that helped her to realize this is her wedding day?

Why did she realize that his sexual love was going to be so intoxicating?

And we find that answer.

She says it in verse three.

And she says, because of the savor of thy good ointments, I know that your love is going to be amazing because you smell so good.

It's very interesting that all throughout the Song of Solomon, fragrance is a big deal.

Fragrance adds a lot, multiple times.

Yes.

In the Song of Solomon, it adds.

A lot to romance, whether you smell good or not.

I think of, like, when you have a baby, ladies, and that baby's just had a bath and maybe got a little baby powder.

What do all of us do?

We take that baby and we get them close as we can.

And you smell, and you cannot help yourself.

You start kissing.

It's just part of it.

When it smells good, when that person smells good and you're that close to them, you just want to kiss them all over the top of the head.

You draw that baby close, and you can't stop yourself.

That's what's going on here.

As he smells so good that she just wants to draw close as she can and kiss him.

You know, I've heard that Matthew McConaughey claims that he doesn't have to wear deodorant, and yet the ladies still love him.

But I just want to give you a little warning here, guys, that you're not Matthew McConaughey.

And so if you go out and you're working in your yard for hours in the hot sun or you're playing basketball for hours and you're all sweaty and stinky, it's difficult to lay kisses all over you if you smell bad.

We used to tell our boys, I mean, we had four teenagers all at one time, and.

And they thought.

I don't know where they got it from, but they thought it was a status symbol to see how bad you could smell.

And we kept warning them, look, you'll never get a girl if you're smelling like that.

Fragrance is really important.

When you smell good, it makes you kissable.

But I love it that the word of God doesn't remain on the surface like that.

He draws us deeper into what really matters and what the main and for lasting romance is.

Because she continues by saying, not only am I drawn to you because you smell good, but also she says in verse 3, thy name is as ointment poured forth.

Now, that's a very interesting statement that she makes, because the word, when she says, thy name.

She's referring to his character or his integrity.

She's saying, you have a good name.

You're a man who has a good name.

When we think about name, like the names of God, we think about his attributes, we think about who he is.

And the same thing is true here.

She compares his name as ointment poured forth.

And that's interesting, too, because the ointment she's referring to was oils that smell good, that were pressed in a press to refine them.

They're purified through pressure.

And so she says, you are a man who is purified, has purified character.

And I'm drawn to you because of that.

You smell good, but you also have a man who has a good name.

And, ladies, I think it's important that you concentrate on the good, strong character traits of your husband.

When you do that.

It makes him more kissable.

It makes you want more of him when you concentrate on all the things that you admire about him.

And that's what she's doing.

But also, I love this because she makes another statement.

She says, therefore, do the virgins love thee?

And she's saying, all of the single ladies in the kingdom, they recognize your strong character.

They recognize all of these traits in your life that make you attractive.

And what really matters is not your looks, is what you are on the inside.

And so we can warn single girls out there.

We warn you.

It's really, really important that you consider the character of a guy before you get involved in a relationship.

Before you get involved, consider his character.

Because if you wait until after you're involved, then you can become so infatuated that you overlook things.

So really important to consider the character of a person before you get involved.

For single guys, it's also important that you consider the character of that young lady that you're potentially thinking about marriage, marrying.

You know, a lot of times men are so visually attracted to someone and that they overlook the character part.

Heard somebody say, years ago, he said, you know, some guy came up to him and said, oh, she's hot.

He was.

He responded, yeah, so is hell, you know, and if you.

If you marry a woman who lacks character, doesn't love Jesus, it's going to be like living in hell.

So it's so important to realize that in marriage, character is one of the main ingredients for lasting romance.

And so we need to remember that.

You know, I saw a movie several years back.

We watch a lot of chick flicks.

And so this movie was Kate and Leopold.

You may have seen this if you haven't, you may want to go back and watch it.

It's really a cute movie.

But Kate is a marketing rep, and she's trying to market this farmer's butter.

And this type of butter, it really doesn't taste very good.

So she's got Leopold and he's dressed up in royalty and everything.

And she thinks, oh, he'll make a good person to market this on television.

But when he tastes it, it's disgusting to him, and he wants to just spit it out because it's so bad.

And Kate looks at him and says, oh, just overlook the taste.

You can just overlook the taste.

We're just doing this as an ad.

And I love his response because he says this.

You have.

He tells Kate, you've got every comfort and you've got every convenience, but you have no time for integrity.

And I thought, wow, because he's coming from years back into the present, and he's saying, in your present, in your culture that you live in right now, you've got it all the time.

You want to for every comfort and every convenience, but there's no time for integrity.

And we need to make sure that.

And I'm talking to you guys specifically right now, you husbands right now, that we need to be men of integrity.

Integrity, we might say, and character is who you are when people aren't watching.

It's what you do.

It's how honest you are.

In fact, I wrote down just a list of some things, really, several years ago to reflect on myself about character and integrity.

And I wrote these things down.

A man of character is a man who studies and applies the word of God to his life daily.

Gets in the word of God, studies the word of God, applies the word of God to his life.

He seeks God's direction in his life.

He acknowledges God and all that he does and seeks direction.

He possesses a controlled tongue.

He's careful what he let comes off his tongue because he realizes if there's foolish talking and things that are coming out of his mouth, it's a reflection that his heart is not right with God.

And so he's not deceptive.

He doesn't cheat.

He doesn't steal.

Listen, he doesn't cheat on these taxes.

Even if he thinks he can get away with with it, he doesn't do it.

He knows God is watching and seeing everything that he does.

You know, he has a good work ethic.

The same is true there.

He knows God is watching me at work.

He needs to put in eight hours labor for eight hours pay.

So he's not lazy, has a good work ethic.

He helps around the house with the kids, and he helps his wife.

He's not too big a guy to do the dishes or help clean the floors if he had to.

Whatever it needs to be done, he helps do it.

He's kind to his wife.

He's kind to his children.

You know, he's a man who's not addicted to pornography.

He's not addicted to all these things that would draw his heart away from God and his wife.

And we might summarize and say he's as Solomon really does.

At the end of Ecclesiastes, he says, let's look at the whole duty of man.

It's to fear God and obey his commandments.

He's a man who fears God, holds God in reverential awe, and obeys his commandments.

Several years ago, I came across a statement by Warren Wisby speaking of character.

And I thought this was so good, too.

He said, two indications of a person's character.

Of what makes him laugh and what makes him weep, or what makes him cry.

What do you laugh at and what do you cry over?

Boy, that's so good.

Because I think, so easy.

If we're not careful, we can laugh at things sometimes we should not be laughing at that are not funny, that are crude and foolish talking.

And we can weep over things that maybe are not things that we should really be weeping over.

We should weep over what God weeps over and the things that affect the heart of God.

And so what a great statement that is when he made that statement.

But I just want to pause right here for a second, too, Deb, because it never fails if you talk about character and integrity.

Solomon's name is brought up, and you're thinking, how can you lift Solomon up?

Is he a man of character and integrity?

I want to remind you that in this song, he's a very young man.

And later in his life, his heart got turned away from God by other women.

He took on, you know, 300 concubines, 700 additional wives, a thousand lovers.

Here's the wisest God says he's the wisest man who ever lived, whose heart is turned away from God by other lovers or a thousand other lovers.

He got distracted.

Let me just say this.

It's so easy to get distracted.

The devil would distract us so he can destroy us.

And Solomon got distracted.

But later in his life, when he was an older man, which we see his writings in Ecclesiastes.

I love what he says in Ecclesiastes 9:9.

He says, Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of thy vanity.

I believe he's referring back to a Shulamite bride in the Song of Songs, in the covenant he had with her.

He's remembering how it was then.

And he's saying to us, he's saying, live joyfully.

Celebrate life with the wife whom God has given you, the wife of your youth.

So we see that even though Solomon was the wisest man in the world, he got distracted.

We can get distracted.

We have to be careful that we don't get distracted.

King David got distracted one day when he may be should have been out at battle, he stayed home.

He got distracted by looking at Bathsheba, ended up in adultery, ended up in murder.

He was a man after God's own heart.

How can we use David as an example?

In the Bible, he wrote the Psalms, many of the Psalms.

And Solomon is not a perfect man.

David is not a perfect man.

There's one perfect man, Jesus Christ.

But God shows us in the word of God these truths that are so practical to us and helpful to us as we look at the Word of God, and especially this song.

I love it because God put it right here in the word of God.

It's the word of God and gives us practical things to help us in our marriage.

Relationships that are.

They might be all that God wants them to be for the glory of God.

That's a reflection of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

So, guys, I'll just say the greater your integrity, the more likely you're going to get kisses from your wife.

So really something important to work on.

But I want to warn you, single girls, again, we kept saying that it was very important to consider the character of God of a guy before you get involved in a relationship.

And I just want to stir your thinking a little bit on that.

Before you get involved with a guy, if you're going to think about his character, the number one thing you've got to know is, is he a Christian?

Not just does he claim to be a Christian, not just does he go to church, but what's his walk with God like?

Is there a passion?

Does he talk about the Lord in communion with the Lord?

Do you know that he enjoys the Word of God?

And if you get a guy like that, then you know he's going to love you like Christ loves his church.

And that's what you want.

You will want to kiss a guy like that.

Another thing to look for is, is he kind?

How does he treat his mother?

How does he treat his sister?

Because when he gets used to you, that's how he's gonna treat you.

Another thing, is he honest?

Okay, listen, girls, if a guy will cheat on a test, then eventually he's gonna cheat on you.

It's part of character.

If a guy will lie to his parents, if a guy will lie to his supervision at work, eventually he's gonna deceive you too.

It's part of character.

So these are things for we need to check out.

We need to know, can he talk about something besides football and cars and guns?

Is there depth to him?

Does he care about what God cares about?

So these are.

And another thing is, do other people.

We mentioned this earlier.

Do other people agree that he has strong character?

It's really important.

Important to get the perspective of other people that you trust about this guy.

Do they see character in him?

You know, as we look at these two verses and kind of wind this down a little bit, we see that she was drawn to him because of his fragrance and smelling good.

But most importantly, she was drawn to him because of his character, because of his.

His integrity.

He was a man of integrity because of that.

She's on her wedding day, she's thinking about who he is, thinking about how he smells, thinking about his name, his character, his integrity, and how wonderful it's going to be to be married to him.

And certainly in our own, practically speaking, in our own marriages, the more that we reflect the character of Christ, the more that we're witnessed walking as God would have us to walk in step with him as a husband and wife, the more that we are drawn both to each other.

And it really brings this down to the thinking of we as the bride of Christ.

We are married to the one who has the most fragrant aroma of all, Jesus Christ.

And because of that, we are drawn to Him.

He has the highest name, the name above all names.

He has perfect character.

He is holy.

He is God.

And so we are intimately drawn to Him.

I think of what Paul says in Second Corinthians, chapter 2 and verse 14.

He says, but thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal pursuit and through us spreads a fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.

For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing.

To one, a fragrance from death to death.

To the other, a fragrance from life to life.

We are the aroma of Jesus Christ.

That is his aroma.

His fragrance is on us because we are his bride.

Beautiful.

And I love it.

Because if we are intently, ladies, if we are fascinated with who Christ is, if we worship his character, then that aroma is going to flow through us.

It's going to impact our family, our children, our husbands.

It's going to make us more kissable to our husbands.

But also it's going to.

It's going to be like something that draws, you know, how fragrance and aroma draws you to the source.

It's going to draw them to the source of that aroma also.

And everyone's character will be improved when they're drawn to the source of Jesus Christ.

You know, and everybody, whether they are unbeliever or a believer, is affected by the aroma of Christ.

That is the unbeliever, is affected by that sweet fragrance and purity of Jesus Christ.

You would hope they are, that they're drawn to that as even as it says in these verses, by smelling it on us.

And so they recognize their lostness, they recognize their helplessness.

They recognize that they can only find help in Christ, in the person of Jesus Christ.

And as a Christian, we, we see that Christ is beautiful, that he is fragrant, and that he is the name above all name.

He has the name above all names.

And so we are drawn to Him.

I love what Paul says in Philippians chapter 2 and verse 9 through 11.

Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that the name of Jesus at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and under earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.

And it's our prayer that if you're listening to this and you don't know Christ, that you would experience the aroma of Christ in your life personally by faith, accepting Jesus Christ and Christ alone as your Lord and Savior.

And if you're a believer in a couple listening, hear that you will be fragrant with the aroma of Christ.

And when we are, we are drawn even that much to each other as a husband and wife.

And we can say, let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth where his love is better than wine.

And we can be drawn to each other because our names or his ointment poured forth, but because we have the aroma of Christ.

And may God help us in our marriages to have this so that we can have a romance in marriage that is a picture of the romance of Christ and His bride.

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