Trauma can be a stumbling block or a stepping stone. This episode focuses on how I do not let the worst experience of my life define me anymore. Tonight's sponsor is Relief Factor! Get your discount today! https://bit.ly/3f5iKMo

00:04

Good evening and welcome to my humble podcast abode. I am Cocoa Griot. You know the 50 something who geeks out when she has the opportunity to talk about life, love, and a smattering of other topics. Recently, I had a conversation with my best friend of over 40 years, whoo I am dating myself, Molly. We were talking about obstacles in our lives and I suggested that we look back at the things we have gone through and let them remind us of our strength. We can view trauma as a stumbling block, or a stepping stone. The choice is definitely ours. This evening, I'm going to share a few points about why it is important to take the lessons we learned from trauma, and use those lessons to keep us motivated to succeed. The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study or ACEs captured important data to show the impact of childhood trauma, the experiences might be abuse, neglect, witnessing domestic violence, etc. This study found that as exposure to these types of events increased, the likelihood for unfavorable outcomes, such as disease risk factors incidence and poor self-rated health was a problem. The lack of healthcare utilization and mortality increased according to how high the ACES score was. Seriously scary stuff right? I put a link to the ACE quiz in my show notes, and you can take the quiz if you would like to see where you score.

01:38

Thinking about trauma exposure as a guaranteed ticket to failure is not healthy. I've discussed before that I am a sexual assault survivor. My neighbor attacked me when I was just four years old. I suppressed the memory for decades until one day I had to face it. The evidence of my trauma was the unhealthy lifestyle I lived. Even when I didn't talk about it, it still permeated every cell of my body. When I confronted my abuser 46 years later, I freed myself. I served a 46-year sentence of shame and guilt for something I had no control over. Now, I let the experience motivate me to succeed because I realized some things about myself. The first thing I realized is that it is important to have compassion when you see people behave a certain way. I know this grace was extended to me by several people. Thank you. I may not understand who you are and everything you do, but I can give you the space to be yourself. How has this helped me in the workplace? I don't go around expecting everyone to be me. I can have friendships with people that have different belief systems than mine. Now my preference would have been to never experience what happened to me 51 years ago, but I can't change it. I do have the ability to find a way to use that experience to motivate me to succeed in other facets of my life.

03:13

The second lesson I learned is that I'm incredibly strong and resilient, even though the experience planted a seed in me of inferiority. I still achieved many of my life goals. I got married, got an education I had kids, even though there was a battle raging in my subconscious that drove me to continually doubt myself. When I read the results of the ACE study, I literally broke down and cried. My life could have been so different. I cannot underestimate the importance of being surrounded by an incredible amount of love and support from my friends and family. They always say I gave it to them as well, but somehow I feel like the prize winner in all of this deal. I think about when my dad taught me how to ride a bike. He held on to the bike and walked with me while I pedaled until I told him one day, I got it. My family kept me strong. Until the day I realized I am strong.

04:15

Before I move to the final lesson I learned, I need to share some important information about tonight's sponsor. Tonight's episode is sponsored by Relief Factor. Pain from everyday living, exercise, or just getting older is one of the leading causes of trips to the doctor and sleepless nights, it interferes with daily activities, and can even keep us from spending time with the people we love. If you have everyday pain, it stands to reason you need something you can feel comfortable with taking every day. That's why doctors invented 100% drug-free Relief Factor. Now, tens of thousands of customers are using Relief Factor every day, to become mostly or completely pain-free. 100% drug-free Relief Factor features four key ingredients that each work on different metabolic pathways to support your body's natural healing processes to respond to pain and inflammation. Now you can try Relief Factor too! The three-week Quickstart retail price of almost $70 is now available to my listeners for just $19.95. Head to the link in my show notes to find out more. Start your journey to better health and less pain today with Relief Factor.

05:31

Back to the topic at hand. Lastly, the trauma on my resume does not define me, it inspires me. I didn't let the negative things in my life turn me into an eternal pessimist. The valleys helped me to appreciate the peaks. The rain makes me look for the rainbow that is sure to come. I had great parents, but they were working parents. They trusted someone to take care of me and when that person let their guard down, I paid a very high price. I don't hold anyone responsible for what happened to me, but the perpetrator of the crime. Each day is an opportunity to celebrate the woman, I became, in spite of my trauma. I hope that you can find elements of your experiences that will remind you of positive aspects of your life that keep you motivated to keep going. You've got this! Thanks for listening this evening. And as always, I wish you good health, good fortune, and goodnight. Cocoa Griot out!

ACES QUIZ-https://americanspcc.org/take-the-aces-quiz/