Ian Hawkins 0:02
Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you, during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.
I'm doing a talk for my sister's youth group this coming Friday. And so just having a quick chat with her to map out what she might want to talk about, then it's a Uniting Church group. So it will be what was like when we got together to work on what it would be. And she was just talking about some of the other things that they'd done and, and, you know, the Bible references not as important, but just around self. And then she talked about the the first from the library. Love yourself, as you say love others as you love yourself. And she kept talking. But I was like, that's actually a brilliant topic. Because there's a pattern that runs out there. And I will share with you today. Because ultimately, that's how we live. We love others how we love ourselves. Unfortunately, for most of us, well actually all of us, we're running these patterns of where we our love of self is not what it needs to be. So we treat ourselves badly. We project that behavior, that belief that way of being out to the world. And then because that's not at the level that we would like, we treat ourselves badly again. So it's a repeating loop. So if you think about it, you don't, you probably love yourself conditionally. As long as you meet these markers, you're actually okay with yourself. But the rest of the time, you are not loving on yourself so much probably the opposite, you'd be hating on yourself. That's the behavior that goes out. And then that's what you feel. So the topic for today's pod was keeping track of bad thinking habits. And the bad thinking habits fuel this self love this, how you treat yourself behavior. And then even when you can change a belief, or you can let go of an old pattern, from an unconscious level, some of the things I talk about. So you saw a Kinesiology test, for example, and I took you through a process and you let go of some emotional block or some belief. The habit still plays out because you've been thinking in a certain way for a long, long time. So that thinking habit needs to change because otherwise it will just continue to loop even though the beliefs gone. It's just a familiar pattern to how do you keep track of that? How do you change the habit and change the action? And it's about catching yourself. In some workplaces, they have the catch, catch a teammate doing something well, which is great because in so many other parts of life, people are trying to catch you doing something wrong. That's what you hear about, from the moment you're born. The natural reaction from parents is to find the things that you're not doing that not right don't touch that you might burn yourself down to that a little that's for safety, right? But then the habit becomes that you continuing to tell children don't do that. Don't do this. And that's what you experienced. And that habit then plays out and then the habit becomes not of finding the good but finding the bad. And then that's the game we play with ourselves as well. So You're catching yourself, you're looking for the good. Catch yourself, when you've got a positive thinking loop, and celebrate that for a moment. So the journal comes in again, at the end of the day in your journal, the start of the day, whenever you journal, middle of day, whatever it is, whatever time you know, you're going to be able to keep consistent. Today, I treated myself really nicely. I caught myself when I was doing this well on this world, this will. And this was really great. Then you can catch yourself as well where maybe it could have been better. And that's okay because that's been Caliente so far has been loving to yourself, because you looking to grow. And it might just be I missed this particular time where I probably could have done this differently. But I was aware of it. Great. Catch yourself, write it down, acknowledge, tomorrow, I'll do a better. Tomorrow, I'll have an intention to do it better. Not always a guarantee of success because life happens. And then that's a great example of you. Treating yourself better, and then notice when that then acts out in another party or will today, this particular person that used to really trigger me that used to really create a reaction within me, I just treated them this way. I tried to find something positive from them. I tried to ignore when they came up with me with comments that usually in the past might have upset me. Again, catch yourself doing it well. And celebrate that. And then other times acknowledge where you could have done it better. Write about it, and then write what you could have, how you could have done it differently. Because then it stops being a swimming massive thought and feelings and ideas in your head and it becomes certainty. When you have clear review on what has been. You've got a clear commitment on what you want to change and you've got a clear plan on how to make it happen. There's something about that certainty that makes things so much easier to navigate. And then that idea of loving others as you love yourself is going to become so much easier.
I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform
