Shownotes
What if your body already knew the truth — before the doctors, before the diagnosis, before the breakdown — and you just weren't listening?
In this episode, Octavia sits down with psychic medium, astrologer, Human Design expert, and author Aycee Brown to talk about her debut book Embody Your Magic (HarperOne, 2026). What starts as a deep dive into spiritual tools becomes one of the most personal conversations.
They cover Human Design, the 80/20 soul blueprint framework, why religion is keeping Black women locked in the wrong 20%, what self-rejection looks like, and why honest desire — not vision boards — is the actual key to creating the life you want.
In this episode you will:
- Learn Aycee's 80/20 framework and why most of us are spending all our energy in the wrong 20%
- Understand how self-rejection piles up in the small everyday moments — and how to stop adding layers
- Walk away with one honest question that can shift everything: What does your body already know that you keep ignoring?
Books mentioned:
Find this and other recommendations at The CultureLit online BookShop and support independent bookstores at Visit my bookshop!
Episode Links
- Follow Aycee on Instagram
- Follow Aycee on TikTok
- Listen to Aycee's podcast "Is My Aura on Straight?"
- Order Aycee's new book "Embody Your Magic" out now:
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Transcripts
Welcome back to Culture Lit,
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the podcast where black women's
love stories, healing journeys, and
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cultural brilliance take center stage.
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I'm your host, Octavia Marie.
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I have been looking forward to this
conversation because my guest today isn't
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just someone who talks about healing.
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She's a psychic medium, a human design
expert, an astrologer, an Oracle, and
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the author of the new book, Embody
Your Magic, create the Life of Your
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Dreams through astrology, numerology,
mediumship, metaphysics, and Human Design.
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I have been devouring
since I got my hands on it.
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Ac, welcome.
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Thank you so much for joining me today.
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Aycee: Thank you for having me.
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Octavia Marie: When I saw that you were
releasing this book, Embody Your Magic,
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I immediately thought, let me go ahead
and get my pre-order in right now.
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And I have been in this book,
not able to put it down.
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I have my little notes, I have
my Embody Your Magic workbook,
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and I'm just engrossed.
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Aycee: Good.
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Octavia Marie: There were, times
when I was reading and there were
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passages that would stop me cold.
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I'd literally have to
put the book down mm-hmm.
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To just process huh.
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I definitely wanna get into Embody
Your Magic, but first I wanted to start
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with you, the woman behind the Aura.
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You wrote in Embody Your Magic
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Aycee: mm-hmm.
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Octavia Marie: You internalized
the chaos of your childhood.
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Aycee: Mm-hmm.
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Octavia Marie: And that, you believe.
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Something was inherently wrong with you.
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And then when you were 14, I think
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Aycee: mm-hmm.
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Octavia Marie: You picked up
Live Your Dreams by Les Brown.
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Yes.
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I remember that book.
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And I was like, what
were we doing as kids?
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What were we going through?
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Aycee: I saw infomercial with Les Brown.
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I was like, you right.
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I need to live my dreams, need to get
my, I need to get my life together.
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You're right.
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Yeah.
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I need to get my, and I remember picking
up his book, there's another lady, her
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name is Barbara D'Angelos, and she had
a book called, are You The One for Me?
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And it was about relationships two,
her book, it was Les Browns, but,
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and then of Tony Robbins picked up
his book and what was another book.
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But those were like the main
books that I had picked up.
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Octavia Marie: What were we doing?
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What were doing?
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What made you seek answers what made
you reach for these books cause we're
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14, 13, 14, 15.
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What answers are we looking for?
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Aycee: Well,
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because it was I was, the
messaging that I was getting was
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so contradictory to how I felt.
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So somebody has to be true.
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Somebody, one of is either
me, my mom I'm getting, I'm
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lazy, I'm, I'm this, I'm that.
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I'm getting like, very negative talk.
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Mm-hmm.
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Of course now it's projection and
stuff like that, that I look back
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and healing and stuff, but I'm
getting a lot of negative talk.
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Mm-hmm.
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So it's just damn, if she says
I'm this, but then in school I'm
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loved, or people or it was very hard
because it didn't allow me to be my
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full self because at home I'm like.
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I'm this, I'm that, I'm this.
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So then when I'm in school, in high
school, I would close myself off
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or I was a lone wolf cool girl.
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I'm very popular.
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People, wanted to be around
me and things like that.
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I dressed really well.
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But I kept to myself because I
had these programming in the back
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of my mind, my about who I was.
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So me seeking those books and
the DVDs and all of that stuff,
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it was just let me see, honey.
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I guess I need to start thinking about
my life and getting my life together.
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At the time I was, I
wanted to be a songwriter.
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That was really big for me.
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I wanted to be a writer from Ave.
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I was like, I wanna be a writer.
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I wanna write books, I
wanna be a songwriter.
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I wanna be a screenwriter.
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That was really big for me.
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And so I would do that, but I
didn't have any encouragement.
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So it was just really me
getting the things out in my
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mind that was like going on.
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Octavia Marie: Yeah.
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And I think for me, again, now as
an adult and after, years of therapy
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and just doing the work for me,
I realized a lot of it was grief.
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I was just the quiet person.
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But I also, I come from the west
side of Chicago, moved to Texas as
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a middle schooler, very different.
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Environments, and I'm like,
what the heck is this?
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Aycee: I moved, I was from New York and
I moved to Jersey, but the good thing is
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that at that time, everybody who I was
friends with had just moved from New York.
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So it was like a bunch of New Yorkers
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yeah.
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It was a bunch of New Yorkers who just,
yeah 'cause that was like the thing like,
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oh, we're gonna move to Jersey, and then.
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Most everybody who I was cool with
either was from New York or they,
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their parents were from New York.
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One or the other.
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Speaker 2: Right.
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It was our neighbor.
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I, or my play cousins.
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But we lived in the same neighborhood.
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So it was our community.
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Community.
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Octavia Marie: And then I guess, and
somewhere along that road between that
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14-year-old girl and the woman who has now
written her own book you said the question
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that kept coming up was, who am I?
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Aycee: Mm-hmm.
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Octavia Marie: Not what I do.
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Not what are my gifts?
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Who am I?
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And for a lot of black women,
that question is, I think
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it's terrifying to sit with.
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Why is it the one that
you keep returning to
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Aycee: because you have no other
choice but to return to it.
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Look at what su lemme pull on my soapbox.
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I always, I only put on my
soapbox and get on my Malcolm X.
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Society doesn't allow us fullness.
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And so I feel as black women, you
fit these molds throughout your life.
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Whether it's a good girl, smart
person, all of these things.
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And then it's a constant cycle of that.
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And you're always constantly
coming back to who am I?
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Because they told me to do this and go
to school and get a job and all that.
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And that didn't work
for me and I'm unhappy.
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And all of that stuff.
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They told me to get married, they told
me to do this, they told me to have kids.
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All of these things that were quite
frankly, never meant for us, that we
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followed the rules and we did it, and
we're educated with all of this stuff, and
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we're still some people are still unhappy.
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Octavia Marie: Mm-hmm.
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Aycee: And so you always come
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back to that question, I think, at
every different juncture in your life,
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or when you reach other canyons, is
because you have to get back to the root.
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And you have to figure that out.
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That's always gonna be a question.
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I know.
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My birthday just passed.
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I'm like, what the, what am I, I just
had a book come out and I'm like,
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what am I I still ask yes, really?
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Yes.
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That was a question like it's my birthday.
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What the hell is going on?
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And I'm sure I'll ask that in maybe
two years or three years or five years.
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Yeah.
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Because I'm always evolving.
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I'm always wanting to learn to
grow, to heal, to live, to thrive.
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But everything that the world
is reflects back to me that.
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I'm not good enough or that, as the
great brother Malcolm X said, the most
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disrespected woman is a black woman.
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The black woman.
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And, not to, get into the Bravo
universe, but I don't know if you
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watch Summer House, he may not, but
there's this big thing going on with
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Sierra and it's just here we are.
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You know what I mean?
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Octavia Marie: Yeah.
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And it's crazy because I don't watch
the show, but I've seen it and I'm
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like, so I, I have gone down the
rabbit hole and I'm like, oh, hell no.
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So you kinda gotta get into
that, and it's been a lot of
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that in the last couple of weeks.
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It just seems a lot of that happening
and we recognize exactly what it is.
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And I think that's why I
see so many black women.
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Getting behind Ciara.
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We don't know, a lot of us I watched
the show weren't let me say a lot of
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us, but there a lot of us weren't.
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Aycee: There's some
people who don't watch it.
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They watch just the Housewives
shows they're not into summer house
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and all of the offshoots at Bravo.
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Yeah, I'm, I like all the Bravo shows.
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See, mostly then, that's
my best friend she watches.
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All of them.
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And she'll me about my favorite
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Speaker 2: below deck.
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I like all the,
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Aycee: I showed, yeah,
she watches them all.
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And I'm the total opposite,
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like Top Chef, that's me.
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Like I'm in there.
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Octavia Marie: So I haven't turned on
Everybody's I have all these shows.
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I'm like, oh, I'm gonna watch that.
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I'm gonna watch that.
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Yeah.
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I watch my
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Aycee: shows and I read Child,
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Octavia Marie: When you
talked about that who am I?
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I felt that also it hit me because
I do this guided meditation and
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one of the question asked is who am I?
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Aycee: Mm-hmm.
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Octavia Marie: And I'll
be honest, some days.
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I don't know how to answer that.
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Aycee: Right.
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Because for so long, the, like
you said, the answers were shaped
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by everyone else's expectations.
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My career, my role, what
was I supposed to be?
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And a couple of years ago,
2022, I was diagnosed with
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colorectal cancer, stage three.
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I was going in for a routine colonoscopy,
and it went so fast from I'm, I
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don't know, you had a colonoscopy yet
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Speaker 2: My doctor, she's black.
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She wants, she likes to be proactive.
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So
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Aycee: yes,
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I'm gonna have to stay
outta pocket for that child
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Octavia Marie: because there are
no signs, really, no symptoms.
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I went down the research hole, but,
the oncologist told me, oh, you could
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have had it for years and didn't know
it because there are no symptoms.
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And by the time there are
symptoms, you about to die.
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I am stage three.
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00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:59,268
And so I literally went from coming
out of being under at a colonoscopy
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to immediately them sending me to
another facility to start having scans.
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00:10:05,388 --> 00:10:10,458
And within, within three weeks, I
have gone from a routine colonoscopy
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00:10:10,458 --> 00:10:14,778
to, I have had met a cancer surgeon,
an oncologist, a gastroenterologist.
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00:10:14,838 --> 00:10:18,708
I've had surgery to put a port in to
start my chemo, and within three weeks
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00:10:18,708 --> 00:10:20,688
I was having my first chemo round.
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It went just that quickly.
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You don't have time to
do anything like this.
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Is, were you
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Speaker 2: used in the
bathroom like regularly?
224
00:10:27,473 --> 00:10:31,708
Octavia Marie: It's interesting and I
tell my doctor this now I had fibroids and
225
00:10:31,708 --> 00:10:35,278
I had a procedure to have embolization.
226
00:10:35,833 --> 00:10:36,613
Aycee: What is that?
227
00:10:36,943 --> 00:10:41,133
Octavia Marie: It's, they basically
burn off the fibroids but after
228
00:10:41,133 --> 00:10:47,163
that procedure, I started having
stomach issues I'd never had.
229
00:10:47,163 --> 00:10:51,123
I kept asking the doctor when I went
for my follow up for the, that procedure
230
00:10:51,243 --> 00:10:52,383
I'm having these stomach issues.
231
00:10:52,433 --> 00:10:55,013
Aycee: But you had stomach
issues in that time.
232
00:10:55,103 --> 00:10:55,583
Octavia Marie: Yes.
233
00:10:55,853 --> 00:10:57,383
Aycee: But before the surgery?
234
00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:58,163
Nothing.
235
00:10:58,493 --> 00:10:58,943
Octavia Marie: Nothing.
236
00:10:59,213 --> 00:11:01,903
Aycee: The link not saying I'm
not, yeah, I'm just saying.
237
00:11:02,048 --> 00:11:07,453
And, and this not to be all spiritual
and medical, me watching medical shows,
238
00:11:08,053 --> 00:11:11,923
probably because they had severed
something so they didn't grow back
239
00:11:12,643 --> 00:11:15,763
that the cancer needed to grow some, it
240
00:11:16,033 --> 00:11:16,393
turned
241
00:11:16,393 --> 00:11:18,283
Speaker 2: into because something
needed to grow somewhere else.
242
00:11:18,338 --> 00:11:18,788
Octavia Marie: It grew
243
00:11:18,788 --> 00:11:19,238
somewhere.
244
00:11:19,478 --> 00:11:19,778
Aycee: Yeah.
245
00:11:19,828 --> 00:11:22,198
Instead of them just
telling you to remove them.
246
00:11:22,738 --> 00:11:23,158
Octavia Marie: Yes.
247
00:11:23,638 --> 00:11:27,628
And so it was just like, you go through
this whole thing I had, eight rounds
248
00:11:27,628 --> 00:11:32,818
of chemo, six weeks of radiation, and
the surgery to remove it, and then the
249
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:36,208
surgery to reverse everything afterwards.
250
00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:39,868
So that was like a whole, that whole
part was like a year and a half.
251
00:11:40,228 --> 00:11:40,768
Aycee: Wow.
252
00:11:41,008 --> 00:11:43,138
Octavia Marie: So then after that,
I've already been going through where,
253
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,768
you are wanting to make changes.
254
00:11:44,768 --> 00:11:49,408
I'm not necessarily not happy, but I'm not
enjoying the work that I'm doing anymore.
255
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,148
I was PR for 25.
256
00:11:51,238 --> 00:11:51,688
Aycee: Oh, you're on pr.
257
00:11:52,618 --> 00:11:52,768
Really?
258
00:11:52,768 --> 00:11:54,808
Where at, in, in where In Texas?
259
00:11:54,808 --> 00:11:55,948
Octavia Marie: I was in Los Angeles.
260
00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:58,968
I worked I did film and
entertainment for several years.
261
00:11:58,968 --> 00:11:59,508
Sports.
262
00:11:59,848 --> 00:12:04,078
I started out my career in the
music industry, transitioned to
263
00:12:04,078 --> 00:12:07,438
agency and then over into film tv,
264
00:12:07,618 --> 00:12:10,498
Aycee: I had a I don't, I think I
talked about this briefly in the book.
265
00:12:10,548 --> 00:12:13,278
I had a internship
'cause I went to school.
266
00:12:13,278 --> 00:12:14,838
My undergrad is in communications.
267
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,128
I have my MBA in marketing.
268
00:12:16,248 --> 00:12:17,358
I wanted to be a publicist.
269
00:12:17,408 --> 00:12:19,418
Me and my friend had a PR company.
270
00:12:19,418 --> 00:12:22,878
We was doing a little parties
and stuff, and I had a big,
271
00:12:22,878 --> 00:12:25,668
huge internship opportunity
272
00:12:25,718 --> 00:12:28,748
I'm in my cousin's dorm room
at the time and I'm like,
273
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,838
yes, I'm gonna change my life.
274
00:12:31,898 --> 00:12:34,868
I'm gonna be in pr, I'm gonna have
a, I'm gonna have an internship.
275
00:12:34,898 --> 00:12:39,098
And I remember I was sleeping
on her floor at the time, but
276
00:12:39,098 --> 00:12:39,998
she came back in the room.
277
00:12:39,998 --> 00:12:43,628
She was a ra, she was like,
girl, my dad just called me.
278
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,248
The Twin Towers just got hit.
279
00:12:45,248 --> 00:12:46,388
And I was like, girl, whatever.
280
00:12:46,388 --> 00:12:47,228
We're New Yorkers.
281
00:12:47,228 --> 00:12:48,788
This is not the first time.
282
00:12:48,788 --> 00:12:49,028
Yeah.
283
00:12:49,148 --> 00:12:51,068
We, I'm, we're a little mute.
284
00:12:51,068 --> 00:12:51,938
She was like, no, for real?
285
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:52,778
And I was like, what?
286
00:12:53,138 --> 00:12:54,428
And then I remember waking up.
287
00:12:55,298 --> 00:12:58,388
And I called and I said, Hey, I, and
I believe she answered the phone and
288
00:12:58,388 --> 00:13:01,658
I said, Hey, I have an internship
interview, but everything's, and she
289
00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:03,548
was like, we don't know what's going on.
290
00:13:04,248 --> 00:13:04,998
I'll call you back.
291
00:13:05,058 --> 00:13:06,138
And she never called back.
292
00:13:06,138 --> 00:13:08,663
And then, yeah, I didn't, I was just I was
293
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:09,383
Octavia Marie: amazing.
294
00:13:09,443 --> 00:13:09,923
Aycee: Yeah.
295
00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:11,148
It was bad.
296
00:13:11,148 --> 00:13:12,743
I remember my mom, she
was like, come home.
297
00:13:12,743 --> 00:13:16,193
My mom was in Jersey at the
time, so I was in school in North
298
00:13:16,193 --> 00:13:19,643
Jersey and I had to, normally, it
would be like a 35 minute ride.
299
00:13:19,643 --> 00:13:22,583
I was in the car for three hours
on the New Jersey Turnpike.
300
00:13:23,783 --> 00:13:24,653
Octavia Marie: Wow.
301
00:13:24,713 --> 00:13:25,943
That's in, that's insane.
302
00:13:26,513 --> 00:13:26,963
That's insane.
303
00:13:27,043 --> 00:13:27,703
Aycee: I know, right?
304
00:13:28,723 --> 00:13:29,893
Octavia Marie: You said you had.
305
00:13:30,313 --> 00:13:33,758
Psychic and mediumship gifts from
childhood, from very, mm-hmm.
306
00:13:33,878 --> 00:13:34,723
From very early.
307
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:36,313
Did you know you were unique?
308
00:13:36,313 --> 00:13:37,333
Did you know you were different?
309
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:41,853
Alongside this search, and I'm assuming
that's before your, you hit your 14 to
310
00:13:41,858 --> 00:13:43,478
15, were you searching for these answers?
311
00:13:43,478 --> 00:13:44,788
You knew from a young, a
312
00:13:44,788 --> 00:13:48,988
Aycee: much younger age around then
that around 1415 is probably when
313
00:13:48,988 --> 00:13:50,728
I started Astro projecting a lot.
314
00:13:50,728 --> 00:13:56,018
I always had like prophetic dreams
and stuff like that prior to, but
315
00:13:56,108 --> 00:13:59,018
that was when I was like having
like outof body experiences.
316
00:13:59,018 --> 00:14:00,218
I'm like, what is going on?
317
00:14:00,638 --> 00:14:03,698
And then I started using over
the counter sleep medication so
318
00:14:03,698 --> 00:14:05,378
I can go to sleep because I had
to go to school in the morning.
319
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:06,068
I had to catch the bus.
320
00:14:06,948 --> 00:14:07,638
It was a lot.
321
00:14:07,788 --> 00:14:12,948
I always knew that I had that
connection from a young age.
322
00:14:13,458 --> 00:14:17,478
It was just like something that was there.
323
00:14:18,778 --> 00:14:19,408
Octavia Marie: Was there a
324
00:14:19,408 --> 00:14:23,428
moment where your spiritual gifts
and I guess the scholarly side of
325
00:14:23,428 --> 00:14:24,958
you, made peace with each other?
326
00:14:25,008 --> 00:14:25,938
Did you question it?
327
00:14:26,088 --> 00:14:28,578
Were those the questioning of
the answers were coming from?
328
00:14:28,578 --> 00:14:32,208
Was it the dichotomy of the
spiritual side of you and this
329
00:14:32,718 --> 00:14:35,898
scholarly academic side of you?
330
00:14:36,258 --> 00:14:41,118
Aycee: I, that's one of the reasons
why I wanted to funny things and
331
00:14:41,178 --> 00:14:45,058
why I wanted to write screenplays
because I had this imagination and
332
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:46,588
I had all these visions and dreams.
333
00:14:46,918 --> 00:14:52,438
But that was another reason why I wanted
to work in pr because I remember, I
334
00:14:52,438 --> 00:14:56,758
have family who know people in the
entertainment industry, things like,
335
00:14:56,788 --> 00:14:58,318
I always knew when people were lying.
336
00:14:59,683 --> 00:15:01,243
I would see certain things.
337
00:15:01,243 --> 00:15:01,933
I'm like, damn.
338
00:15:02,173 --> 00:15:03,253
I'm like, that's not true.
339
00:15:03,253 --> 00:15:08,173
This motherfucker did X, Y, and Z or
they were doing this and I remember
340
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:11,983
just having these, and I would start
going to different places and stuff like
341
00:15:11,983 --> 00:15:13,483
that, and I'm like, yeah, I was right.
342
00:15:14,323 --> 00:15:14,833
I was right.
343
00:15:15,463 --> 00:15:17,563
And so I was like, oh,
I should just do pr.
344
00:15:17,563 --> 00:15:18,733
I'll be really good at this.
345
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:21,613
I feel really good at this.
346
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:23,513
I was like, oh, this will be my way in.
347
00:15:23,513 --> 00:15:26,633
Because I always wanted to write
whether it was screenplays.
348
00:15:27,503 --> 00:15:29,243
That was really what I
wanted to do at the time.
349
00:15:29,243 --> 00:15:35,003
I wanted to go to film school, and
so my imagination and my visions
350
00:15:35,003 --> 00:15:38,363
and all of that stuff, I was like,
oh, this will leave me there.
351
00:15:38,583 --> 00:15:40,068
Octavia Marie: That was, you
were gonna be the next Ava.
352
00:15:40,068 --> 00:15:40,998
Ava started out,
353
00:15:41,078 --> 00:15:42,038
Aycee: was a publicist
354
00:15:42,338 --> 00:15:47,108
Octavia Marie: and yeah, she was a PR
spent her entire career in pr and she
355
00:15:47,108 --> 00:15:51,808
talks about that when people, talk about
starting late or pivoting and you are
356
00:15:51,808 --> 00:15:54,228
too old or it's too late to do something.
357
00:15:54,228 --> 00:16:00,148
She spent 20 plus years doing film and
entertainment, PR and I, she had done
358
00:16:00,148 --> 00:16:04,598
a documentary, a hip hop documentary
before that, when she was still doing
359
00:16:04,598 --> 00:16:09,188
pr, but then, next thing she's writing
these screenplays and we now we have,
360
00:16:09,773 --> 00:16:10,188
Aycee: right, yeah.
361
00:16:11,258 --> 00:16:14,648
I don't look at, I look at it, I
always joke when I, because I still
362
00:16:14,648 --> 00:16:18,048
have aspirations for film and tv.
363
00:16:18,048 --> 00:16:19,428
I was gonna say you could still do that.
364
00:16:19,428 --> 00:16:19,668
Yeah.
365
00:16:19,668 --> 00:16:20,478
I'm still, yeah.
366
00:16:20,478 --> 00:16:23,993
I'm still I, I spent, I went to
ask acting school for two years.
367
00:16:23,993 --> 00:16:25,043
Like really?
368
00:16:25,163 --> 00:16:25,463
Yeah.
369
00:16:25,463 --> 00:16:28,913
I still have those aspirations of
film tv, but I know this is part
370
00:16:28,943 --> 00:16:30,653
of my calling the spiritual work.
371
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:31,193
Octavia Marie: Mm-hmm.
372
00:16:31,433 --> 00:16:33,533
Aycee: So it'll all merge together.
373
00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:36,353
You'll see me on a big screen,
I'm sure, or writing something
374
00:16:36,353 --> 00:16:37,183
or producing something.
375
00:16:37,278 --> 00:16:41,148
I'm I'll guarantee that I feel that
in my bones, but I don't, I, I always
376
00:16:41,148 --> 00:16:47,898
laugh and I say I always knew that I
would have success or even fame later
377
00:16:47,898 --> 00:16:52,818
on because if not, if I got it when I
wanted it, I'll be on somebody reality
378
00:16:52,818 --> 00:16:54,918
show talking about, I used to be famous.
379
00:16:55,158 --> 00:17:01,693
I'd be in a halfway house who, listen, I'm
a Pisces, that industry with a tour, me,
380
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:02,143
yeah.
381
00:17:02,353 --> 00:17:02,713
Heart.
382
00:17:02,713 --> 00:17:03,148
It's not,
383
00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:07,363
I did not have the boundaries, the
wherewithal, if I were to really.
384
00:17:08,363 --> 00:17:14,032
And I realized this because there
were opportunities like in my
385
00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:20,823
late teens, like 17, 18, 19, in my
twenties, I remember being, I used to
386
00:17:20,823 --> 00:17:26,443
do a lot of background acting and I
remember being on law and Order, and
387
00:17:26,443 --> 00:17:26,833
really,
388
00:17:27,343 --> 00:17:28,542
I've never told this story.
389
00:17:28,542 --> 00:17:33,793
I was a back doing background acting, and
it was, at the time I think I was getting
390
00:17:33,793 --> 00:17:35,433
like a voucher for like my SAG card.
391
00:17:35,563 --> 00:17:36,403
So it was like a big deal.
392
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:37,423
I was like, oh yeah, I'm gonna get it.
393
00:17:38,713 --> 00:17:45,223
I always say that spirit always protected
me because I don't think I would've
394
00:17:45,223 --> 00:17:49,603
handled it because we were on break, we
were, craft services, all of that stuff.
395
00:17:49,873 --> 00:17:54,703
And one of the producers tried to
be fresh with me and I was like, 17.
396
00:17:55,513 --> 00:17:58,793
And I like moved back from him
like, 'cause I was at shock.
397
00:17:58,793 --> 00:18:03,083
I felt it like really in my body, it
felt so uncomfortable and I never.
398
00:18:03,518 --> 00:18:06,008
Did background again ever
after that for law and order.
399
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:10,208
And I was, because I knew he, because
he looked at me, he looked at me when
400
00:18:10,208 --> 00:18:14,738
I jumped back because he knew that,
I knew oh, you trying to be fresh?
401
00:18:14,888 --> 00:18:15,068
Octavia Marie: My
402
00:18:15,068 --> 00:18:15,638
goodness.
403
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,838
And as a as a 17-year-old, that's
404
00:18:18,048 --> 00:18:18,528
Aycee: Yes.
405
00:18:18,578 --> 00:18:22,448
I was like, like I, I felt so
uncomfortable in my body 'cause he
406
00:18:22,448 --> 00:18:24,518
was like trying to show me something.
407
00:18:24,518 --> 00:18:30,608
But he got so close that it was like
in my personal space and I, and he
408
00:18:30,608 --> 00:18:33,648
had leaned in a very predatory way.
409
00:18:33,648 --> 00:18:34,398
And I like jumped back.
410
00:18:35,628 --> 00:18:36,408
I was like, whoa.
411
00:18:37,008 --> 00:18:41,988
Octavia Marie: And sadly, most 17 year
olds would not have the wherewithal.
412
00:18:41,993 --> 00:18:44,988
Aycee: And I, and he acted funny
with me, the rest of the set,
413
00:18:45,078 --> 00:18:46,308
the rest of the time there.
414
00:18:46,398 --> 00:18:46,878
Of course.
415
00:18:46,878 --> 00:18:50,268
And I never did background acting
for, because at first it was
416
00:18:50,268 --> 00:18:51,738
like, oh my God, you're so good.
417
00:18:52,068 --> 00:18:53,238
We're gonna invite you back.
418
00:18:53,238 --> 00:18:54,648
We have a whole bunch of other scenes.
419
00:18:54,648 --> 00:18:58,248
'cause it was, the particular
episodes were high school like.
420
00:18:58,908 --> 00:19:02,628
And I was like, running in the background
and talking, walking, all of that stuff.
421
00:19:03,318 --> 00:19:10,068
Maybe I never, I ain't never met, I never
even got back on that set after that day.
422
00:19:10,668 --> 00:19:10,998
Yeah.
423
00:19:11,128 --> 00:19:14,598
And I felt like Spirit was,
there were always instances where
424
00:19:14,598 --> 00:19:16,968
Spirit was protecting me from
it 'cause I couldn't handle it.
425
00:19:16,968 --> 00:19:17,208
Of course.
426
00:19:17,508 --> 00:19:18,858
Same with the PR stuff.
427
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:22,578
Nine 11, it was always like,
damn, am I supposed to do this?
428
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:25,038
But I don't think it was
supposed to happen at that time.
429
00:19:25,368 --> 00:19:25,728
Yeah.
430
00:19:25,728 --> 00:19:29,178
I think it was supposed to be
later in life because now going
431
00:19:29,178 --> 00:19:31,758
into the industry I know who I am.
432
00:19:32,458 --> 00:19:35,538
Octavia Marie: It is so very interesting
to see, to see your background and,
433
00:19:35,538 --> 00:19:38,898
because one of the things I noticed
is your work is very expansive
434
00:19:38,998 --> 00:19:43,888
you've worked with CEOs, you've
worked with celebrities, high profile
435
00:19:43,888 --> 00:19:47,288
leaders, now, seeing your background.
436
00:19:47,288 --> 00:19:50,678
I definitely can see you
as the next Ava DuVernay,
437
00:19:51,788 --> 00:19:52,898
Aycee: but I don't like directing.
438
00:19:52,898 --> 00:19:54,398
Now you wanna
439
00:19:54,448 --> 00:19:57,298
I would, I like writer, actor, producer.
440
00:19:57,418 --> 00:19:57,838
Okay.
441
00:19:57,898 --> 00:20:00,898
But if I had to see that choose
two, it would be producer, actor,
442
00:20:00,948 --> 00:20:01,518
Octavia Marie: I could see that.
443
00:20:02,178 --> 00:20:05,508
Aycee: I went to New York, NYU School
of Professional Studies and I did
444
00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:09,518
a concentration, like a certificate
program in film and TV production.
445
00:20:10,328 --> 00:20:12,818
And I remember one of
my classes was direct.
446
00:20:12,818 --> 00:20:15,188
And I said, oh no, I don't wanna do this.
447
00:20:16,488 --> 00:20:17,748
It didn't excite me.
448
00:20:17,748 --> 00:20:18,708
It was just,
449
00:20:19,528 --> 00:20:19,618
this is it?
450
00:20:19,618 --> 00:20:19,678
Yeah.
451
00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:20,668
Yeah.
452
00:20:20,668 --> 00:20:21,663
I was like, this is it.
453
00:20:21,898 --> 00:20:22,743
This is what we want.
454
00:20:24,088 --> 00:20:26,668
I don't wanna, I was like, I
remember taking that directing class.
455
00:20:26,668 --> 00:20:28,618
I said, oh no, this is my last one.
456
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:30,808
I don't wanna do this because I
thought I wanted to be a director.
457
00:20:31,108 --> 00:20:31,798
So absolutely not.
458
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:35,248
And then when I took the producing
track, I was like, oh, I like this.
459
00:20:35,308 --> 00:20:38,248
I like producing, I like
writing, I like acting.
460
00:20:38,608 --> 00:20:40,408
These are the things
that I like directing.
461
00:20:40,408 --> 00:20:41,278
Absolutely not.
462
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,908
Octavia Marie: When you sit down
with other people in your work,
463
00:20:44,968 --> 00:20:48,058
what do you think, what's one
thing that surprises people most
464
00:20:48,058 --> 00:20:49,348
when they first sit down with you?
465
00:20:50,768 --> 00:20:54,148
Aycee: Probably and this is my
fault, I like to say I'm a little
466
00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:56,393
I go very deep with people.
467
00:20:56,453 --> 00:21:02,673
I'm, I think in certain content of mine
is very surface level, but when I'm
468
00:21:02,673 --> 00:21:06,513
together with people, like either in
person or one-on-one on Zoom or something,
469
00:21:06,513 --> 00:21:07,803
I'm like, no, we're gonna jump in.
470
00:21:09,003 --> 00:21:10,263
Let's get to the root of it.
471
00:21:10,268 --> 00:21:12,423
So I think that's the most surprising.
472
00:21:12,873 --> 00:21:15,033
I know people are like, oh, I
dunno if it's gonna be like this.
473
00:21:15,093 --> 00:21:16,283
I was like, I dunno what do you think?
474
00:21:16,288 --> 00:21:18,628
Gonna girl, like
475
00:21:18,683 --> 00:21:22,373
social media and the podcast version
is very, like you said, very surface.
476
00:21:22,373 --> 00:21:23,123
And it's not me
477
00:21:23,123 --> 00:21:23,213
work.
478
00:21:23,298 --> 00:21:23,378
Yeah.
479
00:21:23,378 --> 00:21:24,503
No, we doing work.
480
00:21:24,653 --> 00:21:25,853
We doing work here.
481
00:21:25,913 --> 00:21:29,693
If I said half of the things
that I say to my clients or.
482
00:21:30,098 --> 00:21:33,428
Even the stuff that I really
think or that I channel, y'all
483
00:21:33,428 --> 00:21:34,418
think I'm damn near crazy.
484
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:38,738
Y'all think I'm crazy if I post a bunch
of stuff, which I'm leaning more into
485
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:41,138
now that I'm like, yeah, whatever.
486
00:21:41,138 --> 00:21:41,918
Like I'll just do it.
487
00:21:41,918 --> 00:21:42,788
You know what I mean?
488
00:21:42,908 --> 00:21:43,118
Octavia Marie: Yeah.
489
00:21:43,148 --> 00:21:48,008
Aycee: But yeah, that's, yeah,
I'm a lot deeper, a lot more.
490
00:21:48,038 --> 00:21:50,858
Let's get in there and
let's figure this out.
491
00:21:51,278 --> 00:21:53,078
Let's get to the root cause of stuff.
492
00:21:54,758 --> 00:21:56,108
I don't care who you are.
493
00:21:57,038 --> 00:21:59,998
I think that's why I attract
certain, high profile people.
494
00:22:00,838 --> 00:22:02,008
Fuck, I don't care.
495
00:22:02,008 --> 00:22:02,458
Show you.
496
00:22:02,458 --> 00:22:03,598
I don't give a shit about that.
497
00:22:04,128 --> 00:22:05,508
Okay, let, come on,
let's get this work done.
498
00:22:06,073 --> 00:22:08,538
You need a speech coach,
you need some, you
499
00:22:08,743 --> 00:22:10,213
Octavia Marie: you need
some media training.
500
00:22:10,303 --> 00:22:10,963
Aycee: Hello.
501
00:22:12,193 --> 00:22:13,093
Octavia Marie: Which they don't do.
502
00:22:13,168 --> 00:22:13,858
Aycee: They don't do training at all.
503
00:22:13,888 --> 00:22:14,178
Octavia Marie: They
504
00:22:14,178 --> 00:22:15,873
Aycee: don't do media training anymore.
505
00:22:16,353 --> 00:22:18,513
They don't do any of these things anymore.
506
00:22:19,053 --> 00:22:20,573
You mentioned that you go deep.
507
00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:25,433
'cause even in, in the book,
I was like, oh, she goes deep.
508
00:22:26,838 --> 00:22:27,863
And that's surface level.
509
00:22:27,863 --> 00:22:28,763
I could have went more
510
00:22:29,673 --> 00:22:30,183
I was just
511
00:22:30,183 --> 00:22:31,473
Speaker 2: Airplane conversation.
512
00:22:31,983 --> 00:22:34,533
This is my air, my version
of airplane conversation.
513
00:22:37,063 --> 00:22:38,233
Octavia Marie: Embody your magic.
514
00:22:38,233 --> 00:22:43,003
Create the life of your dreams through
astrology, numerology, mediumship,
515
00:22:43,423 --> 00:22:45,253
metaphysics, and human design.
516
00:22:46,473 --> 00:22:48,063
I've always been into astrology.
517
00:22:48,093 --> 00:22:50,523
We would say initially
the surface level stuff.
518
00:22:50,523 --> 00:22:53,198
I've always been, oh, let me
read my horoscope and Right,
519
00:22:53,343 --> 00:22:53,583
Aycee: right,
520
00:22:53,583 --> 00:22:56,193
Octavia Marie: back in the day,
my friend and I is so funny.
521
00:22:56,193 --> 00:22:59,313
My friend and I, we would get
into Susan Miller a lot and
522
00:22:59,313 --> 00:23:00,108
she, she would have these deep,
523
00:23:00,108 --> 00:23:00,788
Aycee: I love Susan Miller
524
00:23:00,788 --> 00:23:01,068
child.
525
00:23:01,118 --> 00:23:03,618
Octavia Marie: I'm just now
learning oh, placements and,
526
00:23:03,898 --> 00:23:06,028
Libra Rising and Libra, you
527
00:23:06,028 --> 00:23:06,478
Aycee: know, some, yeah.
528
00:23:06,478 --> 00:23:11,548
Susan really just, she
just talks about sun stuff.
529
00:23:11,553 --> 00:23:11,593
Yes.
530
00:23:11,593 --> 00:23:12,713
And rising stuff, sun stuff.
531
00:23:13,238 --> 00:23:16,508
Mostly through all, she just
started telling people, I would
532
00:23:16,508 --> 00:23:20,558
even say maybe 10 years ago to
start reading for your rising sign.
533
00:23:20,958 --> 00:23:23,868
Maybe 10, 15 years ago where
she started doing that.
534
00:23:24,578 --> 00:23:29,618
Octavia Marie: You say that astrology
gives us the framework for who we are,
535
00:23:30,908 --> 00:23:36,938
but our life experiences give us the
ju the flavor within those frameworks.
536
00:23:37,238 --> 00:23:37,658
Aycee: Mm-hmm.
537
00:23:38,008 --> 00:23:41,128
Octavia Marie: I think for me that
means that the chart isn't a verdict.
538
00:23:41,188 --> 00:23:42,778
Like it's like a starting point,
539
00:23:43,498 --> 00:23:43,978
Aycee: right?
540
00:23:43,978 --> 00:23:47,398
So I like to say as far as comparing
the modalities, when you think about
541
00:23:47,398 --> 00:23:49,198
astrology and human design, right?
542
00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:52,558
And that's, that one's a new,
now that one's a completely new
543
00:23:52,558 --> 00:23:53,008
one for me.
544
00:23:53,008 --> 00:23:58,438
So astrology is the who, what,
where, why human design is the how.
545
00:23:58,498 --> 00:23:58,858
Octavia Marie: Okay.
546
00:23:59,548 --> 00:24:03,028
Aycee: And what I mean, how it's
how the world is responding to you,
547
00:24:03,448 --> 00:24:05,338
how you're interacting with people.
548
00:24:05,338 --> 00:24:06,388
'cause what did you find out?
549
00:24:06,388 --> 00:24:07,108
Your aura type.
550
00:24:07,108 --> 00:24:07,918
What's your aura type?
551
00:24:08,608 --> 00:24:10,348
Octavia Marie: I'm a
manifesting generator.
552
00:24:11,413 --> 00:24:12,793
With a one three.
553
00:24:13,213 --> 00:24:14,563
Aycee: Okay, so you're a one three.
554
00:24:14,563 --> 00:24:16,993
So as a manifesting generator, you like,
555
00:24:16,993 --> 00:24:17,833
Octavia Marie: I don't know
what any of that means.
556
00:24:17,863 --> 00:24:19,693
Aycee: Doing multiple things.
557
00:24:19,693 --> 00:24:21,553
You like all sorts of stuff.
558
00:24:21,553 --> 00:24:25,243
You like research first
and then you experiment.
559
00:24:25,783 --> 00:24:27,193
So that is Oh yeah.
560
00:24:27,193 --> 00:24:28,933
How the world's responding to you.
561
00:24:28,993 --> 00:24:31,483
And that made you a
really great publicist.
562
00:24:31,573 --> 00:24:32,983
'Cause you were a manifesting generator.
563
00:24:33,073 --> 00:24:36,553
Manifesting generators, make
great publicists, projectors
564
00:24:36,553 --> 00:24:41,983
make great publicists, generators
make great crisis managers.
565
00:24:42,523 --> 00:24:43,393
They need, I can
566
00:24:43,393 --> 00:24:43,513
see
567
00:24:43,513 --> 00:24:43,693
Aycee: that
568
00:24:44,113 --> 00:24:44,983
specifics.
569
00:24:45,073 --> 00:24:46,543
They need to be specifics.
570
00:24:46,993 --> 00:24:51,133
But manifesters, regular manifesters
and reflectors, they couldn't,
571
00:24:51,163 --> 00:24:52,963
I don't, they can't handle pr.
572
00:24:53,443 --> 00:24:54,943
They need to be like writing.
573
00:24:55,303 --> 00:24:56,173
Here's the thing, right?
574
00:24:56,233 --> 00:24:56,503
And.
575
00:24:57,058 --> 00:25:00,898
This is what I tell my clients
and I'll tell you, do not
576
00:25:01,048 --> 00:25:02,728
discredit your experience.
577
00:25:02,758 --> 00:25:06,418
You have what, 25 years
in public relations?
578
00:25:06,868 --> 00:25:07,138
Octavia Marie: Yeah.
579
00:25:07,798 --> 00:25:13,408
Aycee: So there is a need for
actual pr, but here's, I think you
580
00:25:13,408 --> 00:25:16,558
have, I think, do you know your
moon sign and your rising sign?
581
00:25:16,563 --> 00:25:16,833
Octavia Marie: Mm-hmm.
582
00:25:16,993 --> 00:25:17,353
Rising.
583
00:25:17,398 --> 00:25:17,608
Aycee: Okay.
584
00:25:17,608 --> 00:25:17,878
What is it?
585
00:25:18,053 --> 00:25:21,088
Octavia Marie: I'm a Libra
moon and a Libra rising.
586
00:25:21,358 --> 00:25:21,868
Aycee: Wow.
587
00:25:21,898 --> 00:25:22,408
Okay.
588
00:25:22,528 --> 00:25:22,918
Alright.
589
00:25:23,288 --> 00:25:23,978
No, this is good.
590
00:25:23,978 --> 00:25:24,908
This is good news, right?
591
00:25:24,968 --> 00:25:26,918
So relationships are key for you, right?
592
00:25:27,488 --> 00:25:34,268
So here's the thing with what, you have an
experience, they're still in need for it.
593
00:25:34,568 --> 00:25:39,068
You have to, as long as you've out of the
mindset, because remember you come from
594
00:25:39,068 --> 00:25:43,328
an era, even me as an older millennial,
I come from an era of gatekeepers.
595
00:25:44,078 --> 00:25:44,228
Octavia Marie: Mm-hmm.
596
00:25:44,768 --> 00:25:49,298
Aycee: You had to intern, you had to
do before somebody, there was steps.
597
00:25:50,213 --> 00:25:50,783
Octavia Marie: There were steps.
598
00:25:51,593 --> 00:25:55,073
Aycee: There's no steps now,
but the skill is still needed.
599
00:25:55,073 --> 00:26:00,013
So that's why people, oh I'm a
PR person, girl, you don't even
600
00:26:00,013 --> 00:26:01,093
know how to write a press release.
601
00:26:01,093 --> 00:26:01,663
Get outta here.
602
00:26:02,183 --> 00:26:02,783
They're still,
603
00:26:02,788 --> 00:26:03,803
Octavia Marie: and it's so crazy
604
00:26:04,823 --> 00:26:09,863
Aycee: steps that need to be taken
even though the gatekeepers are gone.
605
00:26:10,343 --> 00:26:16,013
So you are coming from an era where
there were, let's just say a handful
606
00:26:16,013 --> 00:26:18,323
of people who controlled the spin.
607
00:26:19,103 --> 00:26:21,503
The spin now is uncontrollable.
608
00:26:22,043 --> 00:26:27,023
I can post a crazy video
today and it go make a viral.
609
00:26:27,023 --> 00:26:29,153
And then what's the what's the talent?
610
00:26:29,153 --> 00:26:30,743
A ig, what is it?
611
00:26:31,133 --> 00:26:31,853
IMG, right?
612
00:26:31,853 --> 00:26:32,153
Yeah.
613
00:26:32,153 --> 00:26:32,858
I-M-G-I-M-G.
614
00:26:32,863 --> 00:26:34,403
It's I-M-G-I-M-G
615
00:26:34,403 --> 00:26:36,323
Speaker 2: will be like, oh
my gosh, she's so talented.
616
00:26:36,563 --> 00:26:37,493
Let's sign her.
617
00:26:37,643 --> 00:26:38,633
Aycee: Let's sign her
618
00:26:38,873 --> 00:26:39,833
Speaker 2: from a video.
619
00:26:40,958 --> 00:26:41,738
You see what I'm saying?
620
00:26:41,738 --> 00:26:49,118
So there's this avenue of possibility,
but there's also not that much skill.
621
00:26:49,208 --> 00:26:49,418
Aycee: No.
622
00:26:50,168 --> 00:26:55,438
Speaker 2: So you are putting people in
place or people are having these moments
623
00:26:55,438 --> 00:26:58,628
or 'cause there's no gatekeepers and
you're like, oh, I wonder what happened?
624
00:26:58,628 --> 00:27:02,228
Why didn't she, wasn't she successful
after that viral thing or after,
625
00:27:02,228 --> 00:27:03,758
because she doesn't have the skill.
626
00:27:04,538 --> 00:27:04,868
Aycee: Mm-hmm.
627
00:27:05,413 --> 00:27:05,833
Mm-hmm.
628
00:27:06,308 --> 00:27:10,228
A lot of that, and I and that may be
probably one of the reasons, because
629
00:27:10,348 --> 00:27:14,693
it's probably part of some of the
push and pull for me is because I
630
00:27:14,693 --> 00:27:18,383
do come from a different era of PR
and everybody thinks they can do PR
631
00:27:18,383 --> 00:27:20,783
it's not just about getting media.
632
00:27:20,833 --> 00:27:22,963
It's a whole, you, like you said, a step.
633
00:27:23,563 --> 00:27:23,893
Speaker 2: It's pr,
634
00:27:23,893 --> 00:27:26,713
Aycee: it's public relations, it's
pr and it's not just social media.
635
00:27:26,713 --> 00:27:27,838
It's not just, it's,
636
00:27:28,028 --> 00:27:28,558
Speaker 2: it's whole.
637
00:27:29,388 --> 00:27:31,933
There's a whole lot of stuff behind it
638
00:27:32,143 --> 00:27:35,563
Octavia Marie: and nobody understands
the storytelling and how that works.
639
00:27:35,893 --> 00:27:41,623
I had someone pitch me and it's
very clear what my podcast is about.
640
00:27:41,683 --> 00:27:43,003
It's black women.
641
00:27:43,333 --> 00:27:47,563
We're talking about black story, black
women's stories, their love, their joy,
642
00:27:47,803 --> 00:27:50,113
and I had someone pitch me two things.
643
00:27:50,113 --> 00:27:51,223
She pitched me twice
644
00:27:51,523 --> 00:27:51,883
Speaker 2: one,
645
00:27:53,173 --> 00:27:57,343
Aycee: and the first one she pitched
me was an author that had wrote a
646
00:27:57,343 --> 00:27:59,593
military book, like a crime thriller.
647
00:27:59,953 --> 00:28:00,043
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
648
00:28:01,573 --> 00:28:01,988
Aycee: Black man.
649
00:28:02,398 --> 00:28:04,438
And I'm sure the book is great.
650
00:28:04,648 --> 00:28:05,698
Speaker 2: I'm sure the book is great,
651
00:28:05,788 --> 00:28:09,678
Aycee: but that clearly not only
did you not research who you were
652
00:28:09,768 --> 00:28:12,513
pitching, you didn't listen, you haven't
653
00:28:12,513 --> 00:28:12,783
read
654
00:28:12,783 --> 00:28:16,113
Speaker 2: anything that's happening
now that people are complaining about.
655
00:28:16,443 --> 00:28:18,123
Why are influencers
656
00:28:18,328 --> 00:28:18,748
Aycee: mm-hmm.
657
00:28:18,828 --> 00:28:21,308
Speaker 2: Like doing
red carpet interviews
658
00:28:22,893 --> 00:28:24,543
Aycee: and they have been horrible
659
00:28:25,083 --> 00:28:27,993
Speaker 2: because they don't have
this, they don't have the skill.
660
00:28:27,993 --> 00:28:28,003
Skill.
661
00:28:28,113 --> 00:28:33,343
They have the popularity, have the,
they have what people think is pr,
662
00:28:33,343 --> 00:28:34,793
they, they have all the followers.
663
00:28:35,183 --> 00:28:36,023
They don't have the skill.
664
00:28:36,683 --> 00:28:43,013
So of course I'm not gonna ask you
about a movie that you did in college.
665
00:28:43,093 --> 00:28:44,173
I didn't read about that.
666
00:28:44,223 --> 00:28:49,653
I only have capacity for what you
did six months ago because I got
667
00:28:49,653 --> 00:28:51,903
invited to that movie premiere maybe.
668
00:28:53,073 --> 00:28:53,313
Aycee: Yes.
669
00:28:53,913 --> 00:28:55,773
Speaker 2: Maybe, I don't
know your body of work.
670
00:28:55,823 --> 00:28:57,593
Aycee: She, nobody researches anything.
671
00:28:57,743 --> 00:29:02,423
Nobody prepares for because how do you
do something like that and not prepare?
672
00:29:02,453 --> 00:29:03,473
Speaker 2: Nobody's reading.
673
00:29:04,163 --> 00:29:05,213
Aycee: No one's reading.
674
00:29:05,373 --> 00:29:08,638
I said this on my podcast, and if
I on a podcast episode of mine and
675
00:29:08,638 --> 00:29:12,148
in my newsletter, I said, because
they took out liner notes from cd.
676
00:29:13,888 --> 00:29:16,018
Nobody's re nobody's reading.
677
00:29:16,048 --> 00:29:17,128
That was the first I went to.
678
00:29:17,128 --> 00:29:20,008
I went to the Wiz, went, so got my cd.
679
00:29:21,058 --> 00:29:23,968
Put the thing in there and open that
book, the first thing you did was ring
680
00:29:24,508 --> 00:29:25,648
the song lyrics who
681
00:29:25,648 --> 00:29:27,928
Speaker 2: wrote, that's
how I knew who wrote songs.
682
00:29:27,928 --> 00:29:29,263
That's how I knew everybody.
683
00:29:29,483 --> 00:29:29,703
You
684
00:29:29,703 --> 00:29:29,743
knew
685
00:29:29,743 --> 00:29:31,378
Speaker 2: who it, and I
started doing research.
686
00:29:31,648 --> 00:29:34,588
That's how when I wanted to be a
songwriter, that's, I was, oh my
687
00:29:34,588 --> 00:29:35,938
God, I wanna be like Diane Warren.
688
00:29:35,968 --> 00:29:39,088
She, her first big break was to the
beat of the Rhythm of the Night.
689
00:29:40,618 --> 00:29:42,118
It was in the Last Dragon soundtrack.
690
00:29:42,168 --> 00:29:46,318
I know that, as problematic as she has
become, but whatever, like I know that.
691
00:29:47,428 --> 00:29:47,638
Aycee: Yeah,
692
00:29:47,788 --> 00:29:49,108
because I was reading.
693
00:29:49,218 --> 00:29:52,248
Octavia Marie: No one reading
because people are illiterate.
694
00:29:52,248 --> 00:29:55,518
No one is reading past
a third grade level.
695
00:29:56,058 --> 00:29:57,108
Third or fifth grade.
696
00:29:58,503 --> 00:29:59,728
And that's wild to me.
697
00:30:01,168 --> 00:30:02,578
Aycee: It's not surprising to me.
698
00:30:02,968 --> 00:30:04,138
Octavia Marie: I dunno,
it was surprising to me.
699
00:30:05,458 --> 00:30:09,758
Aycee: It's not, if you really
think about the Malcolm X's, you the
700
00:30:09,758 --> 00:30:10,358
mm-hmm.
701
00:30:10,598 --> 00:30:12,488
All of the people back then, right?
702
00:30:12,548 --> 00:30:15,248
They're trying to get us away
from our mind and our body.
703
00:30:15,608 --> 00:30:16,838
I talk about this a lot.
704
00:30:17,318 --> 00:30:21,728
The difference between, now we,
this is the biggest, excuse me,
705
00:30:22,298 --> 00:30:26,048
in this day and age, this is the
most information that we've had
706
00:30:26,048 --> 00:30:30,878
access to in our lifetimes, right?
707
00:30:31,088 --> 00:30:35,498
If I open up an app or anything and I can
get news every three minutes, something
708
00:30:35,498 --> 00:30:41,858
changing, I don't even have time to be
grounded in myself, to be back in my body.
709
00:30:42,218 --> 00:30:47,288
Back then, fifties, sixties, yes, they
were out protesting, marching, speaking,
710
00:30:47,288 --> 00:30:50,858
all of that, and then they came back
to their communities and was able to
711
00:30:50,858 --> 00:30:55,718
ground themselves, able to be with
people, able to be within their bodies.
712
00:30:56,078 --> 00:30:57,038
We don't have that.
713
00:30:57,398 --> 00:30:58,838
They want us to be isolated.
714
00:30:58,838 --> 00:31:00,188
They don't want us to read.
715
00:31:00,698 --> 00:31:04,508
They want us to overwhelm us with
information that's not our own
716
00:31:04,508 --> 00:31:06,998
thoughts, so we just give up.
717
00:31:07,853 --> 00:31:08,123
Yeah.
718
00:31:08,303 --> 00:31:09,753
And we said I guess that's true.
719
00:31:09,753 --> 00:31:13,353
We would, we didn't have the
global aspect of all of this.
720
00:31:14,373 --> 00:31:19,303
Like you said, information is just
being thrown at us and, there's
721
00:31:19,303 --> 00:31:20,683
no critical thinking skills.
722
00:31:20,683 --> 00:31:24,143
And people just see, the big print
on a photo and it's oh, that's true.
723
00:31:24,263 --> 00:31:28,543
And if you just do a quick research, you
would know that what you Google, you can
724
00:31:28,543 --> 00:31:29,203
Speaker 2: just Google,
725
00:31:29,203 --> 00:31:32,383
Octavia Marie: you can just Google
really quick and know that is not true.
726
00:31:32,683 --> 00:31:35,083
And so people are, it's the
first, I wanna be the first to
727
00:31:35,083 --> 00:31:36,463
do something, the first to show.
728
00:31:36,463 --> 00:31:39,003
Because the other part of
this, like you said they're.
729
00:31:39,603 --> 00:31:40,743
Not searching for, but they're,
730
00:31:40,853 --> 00:31:42,053
Speaker 2: everybody wants to be first.
731
00:31:42,443 --> 00:31:42,848
Aycee: They're chasing, they chasing
732
00:31:44,033 --> 00:31:44,123
Speaker 2: that.
733
00:31:44,123 --> 00:31:45,003
Yes, they're chasing the line.
734
00:31:45,003 --> 00:31:45,713
The virality.
735
00:31:45,713 --> 00:31:45,773
Yeah.
736
00:31:46,493 --> 00:31:49,793
Everybody wants to be first at
talking about something in the
737
00:31:49,793 --> 00:31:53,363
hot take and everything, and
you don't even know the facts.
738
00:31:53,363 --> 00:31:55,133
I remember somebody,
it was on thread, don't
739
00:31:55,133 --> 00:31:56,093
Aycee: even know the facts.
740
00:31:56,483 --> 00:31:59,933
Speaker 2: Someone had posted
something about Real Housewives.
741
00:32:00,053 --> 00:32:03,173
So it was something, and I said,
and I went, 'cause I was like, huh,
742
00:32:03,593 --> 00:32:05,033
I didn't see this person posted.
743
00:32:05,033 --> 00:32:06,893
I don't follow any of them
or anything like that.
744
00:32:07,193 --> 00:32:08,993
But I was like, I didn't
hear anything from that.
745
00:32:08,993 --> 00:32:12,383
So I went and I researched it
and then I came back to the post.
746
00:32:12,383 --> 00:32:13,493
I said, this is not true.
747
00:32:13,493 --> 00:32:14,333
I just researched it.
748
00:32:14,333 --> 00:32:17,933
There's no news updates
about this even being true.
749
00:32:18,623 --> 00:32:20,183
And then the girlfriend, so she's oh wow.
750
00:32:20,183 --> 00:32:21,413
Thank you for verifying it.
751
00:32:21,933 --> 00:32:23,733
Why didn't you, before you posted, didn't
752
00:32:23,733 --> 00:32:24,603
Aycee: you verify
753
00:32:25,203 --> 00:32:25,413
Speaker 2: silly
754
00:32:29,853 --> 00:32:32,793
Octavia Marie: because she wanted
to be the first's, what I'm saying?
755
00:32:33,423 --> 00:32:36,563
So with the news, we wanted to be the
first and that's interesting because
756
00:32:36,563 --> 00:32:42,503
I think your reality and your lived
circumstances and your race and your
757
00:32:42,503 --> 00:32:46,673
religion and your socioeconomics,
all of us are living in this.
758
00:32:46,673 --> 00:32:50,933
And I think for black women, you
talked about like your 80 20 framework.
759
00:32:51,413 --> 00:32:51,503
Aycee: Mm-hmm.
760
00:32:52,273 --> 00:32:56,313
Octavia Marie: And 80%, I think
you said 80% of your reality,
761
00:32:56,853 --> 00:32:58,743
Aycee: all of your chart, all
of that stuff is accurate.
762
00:32:59,613 --> 00:33:01,263
But we live in the 20%.
763
00:33:01,743 --> 00:33:03,063
We live in the 20%.
764
00:33:04,263 --> 00:33:13,703
And for us, for black women, it's so
much living in that 20% we're not, how
765
00:33:13,703 --> 00:33:15,528
do you hold the truth and then also help.
766
00:33:16,493 --> 00:33:20,033
How do we find our way back to
the other 80%, the where, the
767
00:33:20,033 --> 00:33:23,693
real, where the soul of us lives?
768
00:33:24,533 --> 00:33:26,953
Because we're so focused on this 20%,
769
00:33:27,163 --> 00:33:27,823
Speaker 2: the 20 per.
770
00:33:27,873 --> 00:33:32,363
Listen, I always, and this might rub
some people the wrong way, but I'm okay.
771
00:33:33,023 --> 00:33:33,743
Let's do it.
772
00:33:34,193 --> 00:33:36,803
The biggest thing that's
killing black women is religion.
773
00:33:38,003 --> 00:33:38,963
That was my next one.
774
00:33:39,263 --> 00:33:40,523
That's in the 20%.
775
00:33:40,938 --> 00:33:41,993
Aycee: It's in the 20%
776
00:33:41,998 --> 00:33:43,103
Speaker 2: because it's so limited.
777
00:33:44,003 --> 00:33:45,143
It's so limited.
778
00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:46,793
There's nothing there for you.
779
00:33:47,843 --> 00:33:51,653
But rules and regulations that have
nothing to do with you, you are
780
00:33:51,653 --> 00:33:53,093
the most powerful thing on earth.
781
00:33:54,053 --> 00:33:56,243
Of course, they're gonna tell
you, you need a man, you need
782
00:33:56,243 --> 00:33:57,323
this, you need all of that stuff.
783
00:33:57,323 --> 00:33:58,733
Nothing wrong with having a relationship.
784
00:33:59,273 --> 00:34:00,473
I would like to get married one day.
785
00:34:00,563 --> 00:34:01,613
Children, absolutely not.
786
00:34:03,113 --> 00:34:04,433
There's nothing wrong with any of that.
787
00:34:04,433 --> 00:34:09,713
But if they're telling you that's what
makes you this or that, that's limiting.
788
00:34:11,333 --> 00:34:15,773
Octavia Marie: And that's the message
I'm 55 now and I had my daughter
789
00:34:15,773 --> 00:34:17,813
young, but I knew very early.
790
00:34:17,868 --> 00:34:19,458
I would not be having anymore.
791
00:34:20,628 --> 00:34:22,007
Aycee: Listen, I love a one and done
792
00:34:22,998 --> 00:34:23,868
Octavia Marie: one and done.
793
00:34:23,868 --> 00:34:25,277
And she is 35 now.
794
00:34:26,777 --> 00:34:31,668
But once I got her through college it was
like, okay, I'm gonna do some things so
795
00:34:31,668 --> 00:34:36,467
many people are waiting for that partner
to go visit this place and do these
796
00:34:36,467 --> 00:34:38,148
things, why can't you just do those now?
797
00:34:38,148 --> 00:34:38,838
Now why do you, I'm only,
798
00:34:39,438 --> 00:34:42,378
Speaker 2: I'm a solo
dolo myself all the time.
799
00:34:42,888 --> 00:34:47,208
Aycee: I'm a, I have been to
the Caribbean, I have been to
800
00:34:47,628 --> 00:34:49,308
Europe, I have been to Mexico.
801
00:34:49,358 --> 00:34:52,568
I'm not waiting for that perfect partner.
802
00:34:52,938 --> 00:34:57,078
You do know that your life,
you can still live your life.
803
00:34:58,008 --> 00:34:58,938
If those things, it's
804
00:34:58,938 --> 00:34:59,658
Speaker 2: hard to,
805
00:34:59,658 --> 00:35:02,133
Aycee: but do you want
those things because Yeah,
806
00:35:02,373 --> 00:35:03,213
Speaker 2: people of that
807
00:35:03,693 --> 00:35:03,963
Octavia Marie: Yeah.
808
00:35:05,023 --> 00:35:09,973
I'm 23 or 25 and I'm like, and
I'm supposed, I'm not married yet.
809
00:35:10,243 --> 00:35:11,818
I'm like five
810
00:35:12,043 --> 00:35:12,613
five.
811
00:35:12,613 --> 00:35:13,333
Sit down.
812
00:35:13,513 --> 00:35:15,158
Whatcha talking about life?
813
00:35:15,163 --> 00:35:18,128
Aycee: Do you know how my little
nephew who, I call him my nephews,
814
00:35:18,128 --> 00:35:21,478
actually my cousins I don't have
any brothers, sisters, but I, the
815
00:35:21,478 --> 00:35:23,008
age difference, they call me auntie.
816
00:35:23,608 --> 00:35:26,218
He's 22 now.
817
00:35:26,218 --> 00:35:29,248
He'll be 23 I think this year.
818
00:35:29,848 --> 00:35:31,618
And he's yeah, I wanna
get my own for what?
819
00:35:32,158 --> 00:35:34,288
Your dad don't let, you
don't have to pay rent.
820
00:35:34,288 --> 00:35:35,788
Your dad owns own company.
821
00:35:35,788 --> 00:35:36,778
He's not tripping about it.
822
00:35:36,778 --> 00:35:40,498
He just wants you to be in
school, have a job, whatcha doing?
823
00:35:41,263 --> 00:35:41,983
Octavia Marie: What are you doing?
824
00:35:42,253 --> 00:35:46,633
And so when you go back to the religion
portion of it, because like you
825
00:35:46,633 --> 00:35:48,883
said, that 20% is holding us hostage.
826
00:35:48,933 --> 00:35:53,103
We're talking about human design
and astrology and mediumship and
827
00:35:54,403 --> 00:35:55,843
religion says that's demonic.
828
00:35:55,993 --> 00:35:57,673
That big conversation is happening.
829
00:35:57,673 --> 00:35:57,973
Aycee: Of course.
830
00:35:57,973 --> 00:35:59,803
Anything to learn about yourself.
831
00:35:59,803 --> 00:36:01,033
Anything to learn about
832
00:36:01,038 --> 00:36:01,158
Speaker 2: your
833
00:36:01,158 --> 00:36:01,558
Octavia Marie: Exactly.
834
00:36:01,558 --> 00:36:03,583
And give you freedom on a personal level.
835
00:36:04,093 --> 00:36:05,713
Yes, of course it would be demonic.
836
00:36:06,133 --> 00:36:06,433
Yes.
837
00:36:06,433 --> 00:36:10,363
Speaker 2: Why would it be great
if it's gonna give you autonomy?
838
00:36:11,683 --> 00:36:12,943
Aycee: Autonomy, absolutely.
839
00:36:13,463 --> 00:36:14,843
Speaker 2: That's why would it be,
840
00:36:15,113 --> 00:36:17,483
wouldn't it be, of course
it has to be demonic.
841
00:36:17,513 --> 00:36:19,403
It's allowing you to think for yourself.
842
00:36:19,493 --> 00:36:22,343
Aycee: So, how do we get us past that?
843
00:36:22,913 --> 00:36:26,183
Like you said, getting past
the 20% to get to the 80%,
844
00:36:26,183 --> 00:36:26,963
Speaker 2: you have to be willing.
845
00:36:27,593 --> 00:36:27,803
Aycee: Yeah.
846
00:36:27,833 --> 00:36:31,463
Speaker 2: You have to be willing to
die to whatever you have been told.
847
00:36:32,738 --> 00:36:34,148
You have to be willing to do that.
848
00:36:34,808 --> 00:36:39,218
You have to be willing to completely
die to your old version of yourself and
849
00:36:39,218 --> 00:36:41,108
say, I'm going to learn something new.
850
00:36:42,128 --> 00:36:42,338
Yeah.
851
00:36:43,118 --> 00:36:48,578
So you say the human design is the how?
852
00:36:49,148 --> 00:36:49,688
The how.
853
00:36:50,198 --> 00:36:50,678
The, how.
854
00:36:50,678 --> 00:36:52,748
'cause that's how the
world's responding to you.
855
00:36:53,888 --> 00:36:54,308
Aycee: Okay.
856
00:36:54,968 --> 00:37:00,308
So for example you said that my human
design, my manifesting generator
857
00:37:00,308 --> 00:37:01,448
is I'm just all over the place.
858
00:37:01,448 --> 00:37:02,678
I'm doing all these things.
859
00:37:03,038 --> 00:37:03,248
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
860
00:37:04,538 --> 00:37:08,558
Aycee: For someone who has never heard of
it, what, why should a black woman who is
861
00:37:08,558 --> 00:37:11,348
already carrying a lot actually give this
862
00:37:11,348 --> 00:37:11,438
Speaker 2: hurt?
863
00:37:11,438 --> 00:37:12,998
Does it make your life easier?
864
00:37:13,178 --> 00:37:13,388
Yes.
865
00:37:13,388 --> 00:37:14,858
It just makes your life easier.
866
00:37:14,918 --> 00:37:17,738
It'll make it easier for
you to have guidelines.
867
00:37:17,738 --> 00:37:19,388
Not rules, but guidelines.
868
00:37:19,388 --> 00:37:23,728
Oh, okay, this is why, like for
me, for instance, I'm a projector.
869
00:37:24,658 --> 00:37:28,228
My life moves off of invitations,
meaning major things in my life.
870
00:37:28,228 --> 00:37:31,408
My goal is to just live my life,
do the things I want to do.
871
00:37:31,648 --> 00:37:34,138
The things that are gonna change
my life are gonna be invitations.
872
00:37:34,198 --> 00:37:34,618
Correct.
873
00:37:34,618 --> 00:37:35,668
That's how it's always happen.
874
00:37:35,668 --> 00:37:39,478
I've got invited to this or my book
deal, somebody, they reached out to me.
875
00:37:39,808 --> 00:37:41,038
They were all invitations.
876
00:37:41,038 --> 00:37:45,958
I also have someone who I know who
was on a popular TV show and she had
877
00:37:45,958 --> 00:37:51,268
done TV before, but the show wasn't
successful and then the producers
878
00:37:51,268 --> 00:37:52,828
of another show, they dmd her.
879
00:37:52,978 --> 00:37:53,848
She's a projector.
880
00:37:53,848 --> 00:37:57,178
So it's those type of things
for manifesting generators.
881
00:37:57,418 --> 00:37:59,818
I always say keep it
in the same wheelhouse.
882
00:37:59,818 --> 00:38:03,418
So like Rihanna, she is
a manifesting generator.
883
00:38:03,688 --> 00:38:05,308
She has Fenty everything.
884
00:38:05,338 --> 00:38:06,478
It's in the same wheelhouse.
885
00:38:06,478 --> 00:38:10,018
The issue with manifesting generator,
I'd like to say they wanna be
886
00:38:10,018 --> 00:38:13,618
a hairstylist and a real estate
agent, and they open up this and
887
00:38:13,618 --> 00:38:15,143
it's just like, why don't you just.
888
00:38:16,693 --> 00:38:21,643
Have a hair empire, you could sell
hair, then color, then maybe you
889
00:38:21,643 --> 00:38:23,563
help stylists build their own brand.
890
00:38:23,863 --> 00:38:25,573
But Rihanna, she does it really well.
891
00:38:26,053 --> 00:38:29,863
So that's an example of a
manifesting generator who has like
892
00:38:30,163 --> 00:38:34,393
a wheelhouse of something, like a
theme, like a through line of it.
893
00:38:36,013 --> 00:38:36,253
Aycee: So
894
00:38:36,253 --> 00:38:37,363
Speaker 2: it just makes things easier.
895
00:38:37,933 --> 00:38:38,953
Aycee: Makes things easier.
896
00:38:39,043 --> 00:38:42,193
Now you've also talked
about self-rejection.
897
00:38:42,673 --> 00:38:42,853
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
898
00:38:43,573 --> 00:38:46,783
Aycee: And what happens when
we don't speak our truth?
899
00:38:46,783 --> 00:38:49,513
Because one, I think
that's part of the problem.
900
00:38:49,573 --> 00:38:52,993
So we're not clear on what it is we want.
901
00:38:53,263 --> 00:38:54,523
You wanna get married, great.
902
00:38:55,123 --> 00:38:58,453
You wanna get married, but do you
wanna get married because of this?
903
00:38:58,453 --> 00:39:00,463
Or is that really a true desire of yours?
904
00:39:00,598 --> 00:39:04,038
I think sometimes we are not
clear on what it is we want.
905
00:39:04,038 --> 00:39:08,178
And so when we are putting all
these things out there and then
906
00:39:08,178 --> 00:39:11,268
we are not getting them 'cause
we are not clear on what it is
907
00:39:11,268 --> 00:39:12,348
we truly want, we're asking for,
908
00:39:13,308 --> 00:39:14,268
Speaker 2: almost doesn't count.
909
00:39:14,658 --> 00:39:16,548
Aycee: Almost doesn't count.
910
00:39:16,608 --> 00:39:17,298
Speaker 2: That's the red deal.
911
00:39:17,298 --> 00:39:17,953
It almost doesn't
912
00:39:17,953 --> 00:39:18,558
Aycee: count every time.
913
00:39:18,678 --> 00:39:19,188
Yeah.
914
00:39:19,188 --> 00:39:21,318
And every time we don't say what we want.
915
00:39:21,768 --> 00:39:25,938
We add another layer and that's been
my theme throughout this, with this
916
00:39:25,938 --> 00:39:28,458
podcast is just one black women healing.
917
00:39:28,458 --> 00:39:31,388
And we don't always have to
be that strong independent.
918
00:39:31,388 --> 00:39:31,478
Mm-hmm.
919
00:39:31,718 --> 00:39:34,508
And when I say soft life, and
I'm not saying like the whimsical
920
00:39:34,508 --> 00:39:38,198
way, but I just mean there is
a way of ease to doing things.
921
00:39:38,198 --> 00:39:39,013
But we're, you wouldn't be
922
00:39:39,243 --> 00:39:39,533
Speaker 2: busy.
923
00:39:39,538 --> 00:39:40,598
You still gotta work though.
924
00:39:40,808 --> 00:39:42,818
Aycee: You gotta work and Exactly.
925
00:39:42,818 --> 00:39:45,268
But we're, a lot of us aren't
doing the work of it all.
926
00:39:45,268 --> 00:39:49,618
And we're not getting into the weeds and
like you say, the canyons, because you
927
00:39:49,618 --> 00:39:54,978
gotta go through those canyons you said
that the canyon work and so for, I guess
928
00:39:54,978 --> 00:39:59,688
for the woman listening right now and
who's doing this, some people without
929
00:39:59,688 --> 00:40:05,268
realizing it, what does self-rejection
look like on an ordinary Tuesday?
930
00:40:06,318 --> 00:40:07,578
Speaker 2: Gosh, that's easy.
931
00:40:08,598 --> 00:40:11,558
Let's even, I'm a Taurus moon, so
let's take it down to food, right?
932
00:40:12,128 --> 00:40:18,728
You not, you denying yourself of going out
to dinner after a really hard day at work.
933
00:40:18,998 --> 00:40:21,788
Yes, you have a budget and
you supposed to be on track.
934
00:40:22,358 --> 00:40:25,028
Nobody said you gotta go eat bad food.
935
00:40:25,028 --> 00:40:28,598
You can take yourself to an organic
place that serves farm to table food and
936
00:40:28,598 --> 00:40:30,698
you can get a meal there or something.
937
00:40:30,698 --> 00:40:35,438
So denying yourself that, or saying that
you don't like some something and you
938
00:40:35,438 --> 00:40:39,788
really, but mostly, most of the time
women do this a lot when it comes to
939
00:40:39,848 --> 00:40:43,648
dating is that they're like, oh, I can
deal with this and I can deal with that.
940
00:40:43,648 --> 00:40:44,728
And it's just no, you can't.
941
00:40:44,728 --> 00:40:45,568
You don't want that.
942
00:40:46,018 --> 00:40:46,648
Aycee: You don't want that.
943
00:40:47,068 --> 00:40:50,368
Speaker 2: Or let's use
like the job, for instance.
944
00:40:50,368 --> 00:40:53,618
Or you are working at a place and.
945
00:40:54,518 --> 00:40:56,978
They want you to do extra work,
and you're like, no, that's
946
00:40:56,978 --> 00:40:58,508
not in my job description.
947
00:40:58,868 --> 00:41:01,418
And you don't fight back, punch
back on that or something.
948
00:41:01,778 --> 00:41:03,278
It's so many little things.
949
00:41:03,278 --> 00:41:08,248
Or say if you're a person who likes to
get dressed and likes to, wear certain
950
00:41:08,248 --> 00:41:12,658
things or certain stuff, you might
think it's too much for a certain place
951
00:41:12,718 --> 00:41:16,853
or some it can be any, it can be any
little thing that you're just saying no
952
00:41:16,853 --> 00:41:18,653
to when you really wanna say yes to it.
953
00:41:19,403 --> 00:41:19,673
Aycee: Yeah.
954
00:41:19,673 --> 00:41:22,133
That, that, now that makes a lot of sense.
955
00:41:22,133 --> 00:41:27,893
I talk about that on the podcast black
women deserve ease, not just resilience.
956
00:41:27,893 --> 00:41:32,713
We're always, in spite of we do, in spite
of, we have, and like you say, you've
957
00:41:32,713 --> 00:41:34,663
connected this to like honest desire.
958
00:41:34,753 --> 00:41:36,303
If you want a relationship you.
959
00:41:36,688 --> 00:41:36,868
Okay.
960
00:41:36,868 --> 00:41:37,198
Then
961
00:41:37,738 --> 00:41:39,398
Speaker 2: to say that,
say you want it I get it.
962
00:41:39,398 --> 00:41:40,028
Everybody's, it's
963
00:41:40,028 --> 00:41:40,778
Aycee: okay to say
964
00:41:40,778 --> 00:41:44,828
Speaker 2: that everybody's centering
men, but if you want a relationship,
965
00:41:45,038 --> 00:41:46,868
just say you want a relationship.
966
00:41:47,468 --> 00:41:49,628
Aycee: Yeah, because you, like you
said, you don't have to pro like you
967
00:41:49,628 --> 00:41:49,808
perform,
968
00:41:49,808 --> 00:41:49,928
Speaker 2: right?
969
00:41:49,928 --> 00:41:52,658
You don't have to perform decentering me.
970
00:41:52,718 --> 00:41:55,448
Like just say you wanna a release,
I wanna, I want a relationship.
971
00:41:55,448 --> 00:41:56,588
I would like to get married.
972
00:41:56,948 --> 00:41:58,178
Will I marry anybody?
973
00:41:58,178 --> 00:41:59,438
Absolutely not.
974
00:42:00,158 --> 00:42:04,058
That doesn't mean that it's
this, it's my master of marriage.
975
00:42:04,058 --> 00:42:05,408
If it don't happen, it don't happen.
976
00:42:05,408 --> 00:42:06,068
I'm gonna be all right.
977
00:42:07,518 --> 00:42:09,548
Aycee: This is coming up
a lot, I don't want this.
978
00:42:09,548 --> 00:42:12,608
But then because they're performing
that they don't actually want it.
979
00:42:12,608 --> 00:42:13,748
I don't need anybody.
980
00:42:13,748 --> 00:42:16,823
And but their behavior is
saying, please just love
981
00:42:16,823 --> 00:42:16,903
Speaker 2: me.
982
00:42:16,923 --> 00:42:18,408
You using the wrong word anyway.
983
00:42:18,528 --> 00:42:21,743
You're not celibate, you're
abstinence, you're not on a religious
984
00:42:21,743 --> 00:42:23,088
ab, not on a religious quest.
985
00:42:23,088 --> 00:42:23,268
That's the
986
00:42:23,268 --> 00:42:23,778
Aycee: different,
987
00:42:24,018 --> 00:42:24,798
Speaker 2: the big difference.
988
00:42:24,828 --> 00:42:27,318
Difference speak negativity
over your life any damn way.
989
00:42:27,468 --> 00:42:27,978
Aycee: Yeah.
990
00:42:28,248 --> 00:42:28,428
And
991
00:42:28,428 --> 00:42:28,638
Speaker 2: even.
992
00:42:29,853 --> 00:42:33,783
Aycee: But then that causes them to
make their discernment gets off and
993
00:42:33,783 --> 00:42:37,203
they'll start making decisions based
on these desires that they aren't
994
00:42:37,203 --> 00:42:39,573
being honest about and what they want.
995
00:42:39,573 --> 00:42:42,093
So they're accepting these bare minimum
996
00:42:42,453 --> 00:42:43,023
Speaker 2: error.
997
00:42:43,383 --> 00:42:43,863
Bear.
998
00:42:43,953 --> 00:42:46,313
Aycee: It is not even bare
minimum because, I, and I said
999
00:42:46,313 --> 00:42:48,533
they wanted to, they would.
1000
00:42:48,533 --> 00:42:51,203
Most people, he would if he wanted to.
1001
00:42:51,278 --> 00:42:54,383
Speaker 2: I run that the hard way and
as soon as he wanted find out, he won't.
1002
00:42:54,383 --> 00:42:55,493
You gotta move on.
1003
00:42:56,033 --> 00:42:59,843
And this, here's the thing, and
I'm saying this with as much love.
1004
00:42:59,993 --> 00:43:02,663
I know people want to be chosen.
1005
00:43:03,113 --> 00:43:08,033
I get that you have to choose
yourself, but at the same time, at
1006
00:43:08,033 --> 00:43:09,773
what cost do you wanna be chosen?
1007
00:43:10,463 --> 00:43:10,883
Yes.
1008
00:43:11,093 --> 00:43:13,523
I don't wanna be, I don't
wanna be chosen at any cost.
1009
00:43:14,213 --> 00:43:15,113
Aycee: I don't wanna be chosen.
1010
00:43:15,113 --> 00:43:16,373
Speaker 2: I've never been that desperate.
1011
00:43:16,958 --> 00:43:17,378
Aycee: At all
1012
00:43:17,383 --> 00:43:18,883
Speaker 2: Ever in my life.
1013
00:43:18,973 --> 00:43:22,123
Even in high school, I never, I
had never been that desperate.
1014
00:43:22,123 --> 00:43:23,953
You say, you don't want me one time?
1015
00:43:24,163 --> 00:43:24,943
Okay, no problem.
1016
00:43:25,213 --> 00:43:25,993
Gotta go
1017
00:43:26,653 --> 00:43:26,893
Aycee: there.
1018
00:43:26,893 --> 00:43:27,133
I to go.
1019
00:43:28,273 --> 00:43:32,353
You talked about, earlier about
you were able to see and get with
1020
00:43:32,353 --> 00:43:37,123
the film producer that vibe and
you said that our body tells us
1021
00:43:37,363 --> 00:43:37,693
Speaker 2: mm-hmm.
1022
00:43:38,603 --> 00:43:39,293
Aycee: Everything,
1023
00:43:39,533 --> 00:43:40,223
Speaker 2: Everything.
1024
00:43:42,083 --> 00:43:43,253
Aycee: But yet we ignore it.
1025
00:43:43,253 --> 00:43:44,903
You, we, we all have gifts.
1026
00:43:44,903 --> 00:43:45,983
We're ignoring them.
1027
00:43:46,293 --> 00:43:50,613
Speaker 2: Even down with, not to
bring this up, as with you, you
1028
00:43:50,613 --> 00:43:55,833
noticed immediately after you had
that surgery that something was off.
1029
00:43:56,283 --> 00:43:56,403
Aycee: Mm-hmm.
1030
00:43:56,643 --> 00:43:59,793
You said, I ain't never had no
stomach problems ever in my damn life.
1031
00:44:00,213 --> 00:44:01,893
Octavia Marie: I knew
immediately something was wrong.
1032
00:44:02,248 --> 00:44:02,488
Aycee: Were you?
1033
00:44:03,598 --> 00:44:04,138
For me,
1034
00:44:04,198 --> 00:44:04,738
exactly.
1035
00:44:04,738 --> 00:44:05,108
For you.
1036
00:44:05,223 --> 00:44:05,403
Speaker 2: You
1037
00:44:05,403 --> 00:44:05,893
Aycee: already knew.
1038
00:44:05,893 --> 00:44:07,363
My body already knew.
1039
00:44:07,483 --> 00:44:09,523
Speaker 2: Your body
already knows these things.
1040
00:44:09,583 --> 00:44:13,043
What happens that you are trying to
convince yourself that is not true.
1041
00:44:13,463 --> 00:44:15,023
Aycee: So how do we get back to that?
1042
00:44:15,233 --> 00:44:15,803
Back to trust.
1043
00:44:15,803 --> 00:44:18,413
Trusting what our but
is already telling us
1044
00:44:18,413 --> 00:44:19,043
Speaker 2: trust.
1045
00:44:19,253 --> 00:44:22,223
You have to this, you
have to trust your body.
1046
00:44:22,223 --> 00:44:24,983
You have, that's why I know when
I, when it, I'll use relationships.
1047
00:44:24,983 --> 00:44:29,153
When I'm dealing with someone, I'm dating
them, my body, something will happen and
1048
00:44:29,153 --> 00:44:32,573
I'll get either triggered or something
and I'll have a very adverse reaction.
1049
00:44:32,573 --> 00:44:35,243
Meaning I'll start crying like clockwork.
1050
00:44:35,693 --> 00:44:38,753
That shit will be done,
excuse my language, in a
1051
00:44:38,753 --> 00:44:41,483
matter of four to six weeks.
1052
00:44:43,448 --> 00:44:46,908
And I always say, and I learned this
from my dad, and if you read the
1053
00:44:46,908 --> 00:44:52,628
book, my dad always told me, A good
attorney is gonna ask you for the truth
1054
00:44:52,628 --> 00:44:53,978
and never bring up the truth again.
1055
00:44:55,118 --> 00:44:56,108
Same with pr.
1056
00:44:56,198 --> 00:45:00,318
A good PR good publicist is gonna ask you
for the truth and never bring it up again.
1057
00:45:01,868 --> 00:45:05,228
Aycee: And then we're gonna figure
out what the story is exactly.
1058
00:45:06,068 --> 00:45:10,178
And the, but the problem with that
sometimes is that when the story is
1059
00:45:10,178 --> 00:45:14,378
crafted, the story is so far from who you
really are, that you are bound to crack.
1060
00:45:14,978 --> 00:45:18,038
You can't craft a story
that is not who you are.
1061
00:45:18,098 --> 00:45:18,278
Speaker 2: And
1062
00:45:18,278 --> 00:45:21,823
Aycee: that's why your story, and
that's why you have to tell the truth.
1063
00:45:21,823 --> 00:45:21,843
Tell the
1064
00:45:22,148 --> 00:45:22,358
Speaker 2: truth.
1065
00:45:22,418 --> 00:45:25,838
Aycee: Even if you're not telling
everything, you are telling a
1066
00:45:25,838 --> 00:45:27,778
portion of it that is very close.
1067
00:45:27,778 --> 00:45:27,838
You
1068
00:45:27,838 --> 00:45:28,348
Speaker 2: have to tell
1069
00:45:28,348 --> 00:45:29,998
Aycee: the truth to what your story is.
1070
00:45:30,058 --> 00:45:33,118
Speaker 2: I learned that my dad
taught me that a good attorney is
1071
00:45:33,868 --> 00:45:34,478
tell the truth, gonna ask the truth.
1072
00:45:34,528 --> 00:45:36,628
You better tell him the absolute truth.
1073
00:45:37,258 --> 00:45:40,978
And a good attorney will, they'll, you'll
never, it will never be brought up again.
1074
00:45:41,428 --> 00:45:44,248
Aycee: Yeah, because the
secrets and things, I know.
1075
00:45:44,253 --> 00:45:44,263
That's
1076
00:45:44,263 --> 00:45:44,913
Speaker 2: what I'm saying.
1077
00:45:46,233 --> 00:45:48,363
That's why I know the
girls ain't really doing pr
1078
00:45:48,693 --> 00:45:49,383
Aycee: them girls.
1079
00:45:49,433 --> 00:45:52,458
Speaker 2: They're not really
doing pr You not really doing pr.
1080
00:45:53,058 --> 00:45:55,008
Aycee: No, you're not, because you're
1081
00:45:55,008 --> 00:45:56,538
Speaker 2: not, you're
not really doing it.
1082
00:45:57,843 --> 00:45:59,673
Aycee: It's about storytelling and
1083
00:45:59,678 --> 00:46:00,593
Speaker 2: people like you.
1084
00:46:00,593 --> 00:46:00,603
Yes.
1085
00:46:00,603 --> 00:46:01,403
Listen, you're not doing crisis.
1086
00:46:01,403 --> 00:46:02,093
That's why I was good.
1087
00:46:02,093 --> 00:46:03,953
These people need crisis managers.
1088
00:46:03,953 --> 00:46:04,943
They need a lot.
1089
00:46:05,303 --> 00:46:06,743
Y'all are not doing y'all jobs.
1090
00:46:06,773 --> 00:46:11,813
Aycee: People are saying it like,
usher, like, where's your PR person?
1091
00:46:11,813 --> 00:46:12,503
Because I know.
1092
00:46:12,683 --> 00:46:14,183
Don't just give that interview,
1093
00:46:15,023 --> 00:46:15,173
Speaker 2: Phil.
1094
00:46:15,173 --> 00:46:15,623
What you
1095
00:46:15,623 --> 00:46:16,133
Aycee: said
1096
00:46:17,008 --> 00:46:19,433
Speaker 2: Philly about to
get the whole tour, canceled.
1097
00:46:19,823 --> 00:46:21,173
Aycee: The whole tour.
1098
00:46:21,173 --> 00:46:21,413
And
1099
00:46:21,418 --> 00:46:22,548
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's
supposed to be a wrap.
1100
00:46:22,848 --> 00:46:25,913
Aycee: I'm like, do you not
see the environment that
1101
00:46:25,913 --> 00:46:26,813
we're, do you, are you not
1102
00:46:26,813 --> 00:46:27,203
reading
1103
00:46:27,203 --> 00:46:27,623
Aycee: the room,
1104
00:46:28,793 --> 00:46:29,303
Speaker 2: sir?
1105
00:46:29,523 --> 00:46:31,203
You And he has media training.
1106
00:46:31,203 --> 00:46:34,113
You have you getting too
comfortable with these new, this new
1107
00:46:34,118 --> 00:46:36,093
technology, these new day and age.
1108
00:46:36,753 --> 00:46:38,698
You gotta still pretend it's 1996.
1109
00:46:39,858 --> 00:46:40,608
Aycee: I hear people,
1110
00:46:40,608 --> 00:46:41,633
Speaker 2: people saying,
never came outta your mouth.
1111
00:46:41,633 --> 00:46:41,953
Your mouth.
1112
00:46:42,053 --> 00:46:43,338
Aycee: I'm like, did you just say that?
1113
00:46:44,028 --> 00:46:45,588
Speaker 2: That shit didn't
never came outta your
1114
00:46:45,588 --> 00:46:45,708
Aycee: mouth.
1115
00:46:45,708 --> 00:46:48,588
My first question is
where is your PR person?
1116
00:46:48,618 --> 00:46:53,018
Speaker 2: I say that all the time
when I see these iPhone PR press
1117
00:46:53,018 --> 00:46:54,548
releases that they screenshot.
1118
00:46:54,548 --> 00:46:55,743
I'm like, who wrote this?
1119
00:46:56,618 --> 00:46:58,388
Who let you post this
1120
00:46:59,888 --> 00:47:00,128
Aycee: dude?
1121
00:47:00,368 --> 00:47:03,223
And I was like, are they not
training PR people like they did?
1122
00:47:03,403 --> 00:47:03,623
Speaker 2: No.
1123
00:47:03,763 --> 00:47:08,308
'Cause PR person now is doing
PR and marketing and branding.
1124
00:47:08,728 --> 00:47:09,268
Branding.
1125
00:47:09,298 --> 00:47:10,198
That's what they're doing.
1126
00:47:10,528 --> 00:47:12,563
They're all doing re all jobs.
1127
00:47:12,563 --> 00:47:13,713
They're all different jobs.
1128
00:47:13,923 --> 00:47:14,253
Aycee: Yes.
1129
00:47:14,258 --> 00:47:17,458
And so I just be like, okay,
somebody need to teach the girlies.
1130
00:47:17,458 --> 00:47:18,208
This is not it.
1131
00:47:19,228 --> 00:47:20,638
This is not sustainable.
1132
00:47:20,638 --> 00:47:21,903
Can teach.
1133
00:47:21,908 --> 00:47:23,788
This is not, I can teach them.
1134
00:47:24,218 --> 00:47:26,228
That is part of my manifesting generator.
1135
00:47:26,228 --> 00:47:27,338
I think to educate.
1136
00:47:28,148 --> 00:47:29,288
Speaker 2: You can teach them
1137
00:47:29,598 --> 00:47:32,208
Aycee: You talk about our
stories deserve validation.
1138
00:47:32,298 --> 00:47:37,128
And yet for so many black women, the
idea that our stories not just our pain.
1139
00:47:37,518 --> 00:47:41,688
And I think that's one of the reasons
why I talk about romance novels
1140
00:47:41,688 --> 00:47:46,158
because the focus isn't trauma porn.
1141
00:47:46,173 --> 00:47:51,603
The focus is black women who
are the idea that, it's about
1142
00:47:51,603 --> 00:47:53,038
our full stories, our joy.
1143
00:47:53,038 --> 00:47:53,278
Mm-hmm.
1144
00:47:53,363 --> 00:47:55,563
Our desires, our softness.
1145
00:47:55,893 --> 00:47:57,963
They deserve to be seen and validated.
1146
00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:01,233
'cause it's still a radical concept.
1147
00:48:01,293 --> 00:48:01,383
Mm-hmm.
1148
00:48:01,623 --> 00:48:04,683
And I think that's part of the
problem, like a lot of the vitriol
1149
00:48:04,683 --> 00:48:09,723
around Duchess Meghan because they
are not used to seeing a black woman.
1150
00:48:09,723 --> 00:48:09,813
My
1151
00:48:09,813 --> 00:48:11,973
Speaker 2: grandmother was doing
everything she did on that damn show.
1152
00:48:11,973 --> 00:48:12,543
Everything she's
1153
00:48:12,543 --> 00:48:12,843
Aycee: doing
1154
00:48:12,843 --> 00:48:13,743
grow, growing up,
1155
00:48:13,748 --> 00:48:13,978
everything.
1156
00:48:15,288 --> 00:48:18,918
Absolutely making little packages
for people, wrapping ups.
1157
00:48:19,548 --> 00:48:20,208
I was like, what?
1158
00:48:20,213 --> 00:48:20,473
What?
1159
00:48:20,538 --> 00:48:22,848
Because I was like what this, before
I watched this said, what's going on?
1160
00:48:23,088 --> 00:48:24,288
Why are they so mad at her?
1161
00:48:24,498 --> 00:48:28,068
And then I watched this show, I said I
was doing that, so I sew really well, but
1162
00:48:28,068 --> 00:48:29,748
that was my grandmother owned a daycare.
1163
00:48:30,048 --> 00:48:33,258
She would get a pack of sheets, cut
it up, and we would make aprons out
1164
00:48:33,378 --> 00:48:37,758
them without a, so I'm not, whatcha
talking about whatcha y'all mad about?
1165
00:48:37,878 --> 00:48:38,718
This is regular.
1166
00:48:38,718 --> 00:48:40,273
Octavia Marie: And so many of
the things that she's doing,
1167
00:48:40,303 --> 00:48:42,583
I'm not even that domestic.
1168
00:48:42,613 --> 00:48:44,563
I'm not domestic, but I like to do crafty.
1169
00:48:44,563 --> 00:48:49,213
I make my own like body
butters and my own candles and
1170
00:48:49,213 --> 00:48:50,443
special on that show.
1171
00:48:50,563 --> 00:48:54,253
I was like, there is nothing she's
doing that plenty of black women
1172
00:48:54,253 --> 00:48:57,623
are doing, but they're used to
seeing us doing them for them.
1173
00:48:58,043 --> 00:49:00,533
Or they're seeing the
professional or whatever.
1174
00:49:00,533 --> 00:49:05,063
They don't see the, that kind
of like whimsical softness of oh
1175
00:49:05,063 --> 00:49:06,593
yeah, let's make some sun tea.
1176
00:49:06,893 --> 00:49:09,473
Let's put some herbs in a
jar and make some body oil.
1177
00:49:09,523 --> 00:49:10,078
This is normal.
1178
00:49:12,433 --> 00:49:12,783
Still
1179
00:49:12,783 --> 00:49:13,023
grandmother.
1180
00:49:13,168 --> 00:49:13,618
Yeah.
1181
00:49:13,618 --> 00:49:16,903
A lot of what I do, I saw
my grandmother doing right.
1182
00:49:18,338 --> 00:49:21,038
Absolutely can't do it
as a wealthy black woman
1183
00:49:21,228 --> 00:49:21,558
no,
1184
00:49:22,908 --> 00:49:24,468
Octavia Marie: that's
what they really mad about
1185
00:49:24,518 --> 00:49:24,938
Aycee: mm-hmm.
1186
00:49:25,128 --> 00:49:25,808
Octavia Marie: Aycee.
1187
00:49:25,948 --> 00:49:31,528
This conversation has been everything
I hoped and then some thank you for
1188
00:49:31,528 --> 00:49:36,718
your truth, your wisdom, and for
showing up so fully for us today.
1189
00:49:37,678 --> 00:49:43,198
If this episode stirred something in
you, please go get Embody Your Magic.
1190
00:49:43,558 --> 00:49:47,908
You'll find the link in the show notes
along with everything AC mentioned today.
1191
00:49:48,778 --> 00:49:54,328
And if you love today's episode, do
me a favor, share it with a sister,
1192
00:49:54,538 --> 00:49:59,008
a friend, a woman in your life who
is in the middle of her becoming.
1193
00:49:59,638 --> 00:50:03,179
This is the kind of conversation
that needs to travel.
