This chat dives into the transformative power of personal style, emphasizing that fashion is not just about trends but rather a reflection of who we are at any given moment, especially in midlife. Our guest, Kathy Duglin, a savvy personal stylist, shares her journey of using clothing as a tool for self-discovery and confidence. We explore how the closet becomes a space for emotional exploration, akin to therapy, where we shed the old and embrace what truly resonates with us. With a light-hearted twist, we discuss the importance of editing our wardrobes, letting go of items that no longer serve us, and welcoming new pieces that align with our current selves. Ultimately, it's about reclaiming our identity through style, encouraging listeners to embrace their uniqueness and express themselves boldly. So grab a seat, pour a drink, and let’s chat about the magic of style in midlife!

Takeaways:

1. Understanding that style is deeply tied to personal identity can empower women in midlife.
2. Emphasizing comfort doesn't mean sacrificing style; it's about finding the right fit and fabric.
3. The journey of personal styling can serve as a form of therapy, helping to reclaim one's identity.
4. Editing your closet is crucial; it's about letting go of items that no longer serve your current self.
5. Fashion should evoke joy and confidence, not just cater to trends or societal expectations.
6. It's essential to trust yourself and embrace your unique style journey, especially in midlife.

I feel like a therapist. Styling is like therapy. And the closet is my office confession time.

I may or may not have several pairs of skinny jeans still in my closet.

You're not alone. And that's a simple thing anybody could do. Like, you go out and you buy like a new pair of jeans that feels so good.

And getting your hair done on top of that, that's like a power move right there.

All of it. Right. Style isn't just about the clothes. You need it all.

Even in midlife. I mean, I feel like we should be taking risks. Try something new, try something different.

Yes. There's like the sort of like, functional aspect and that's just whatever. But, like, really, clothing is supposed to bring joy.

What is this emoting, you know, out of you? Because that is like, what people will pick up and sense.

So many amazing, you know, athleisure brands or lifestyle brands. Being comfortable doesn't mean you have to burst sweats. One of the most important things I do with all my clients is like the edit.

If you've ever stood in front of a full closet and thought, why doesn't any of this feel like me anymore? This episode is for you. Today's guest understands that mid lifestyle isn't about trends, rules, or chasing youth.

It's about clarity, confidence, and finally, dressing for the woman you are now. She's a personal stylist known for practical, wearable looks that still feel modern, intentional, and powerful.

And she helps women stop hiding behind their clothes and start using them as a form of self trust.

And before we dive in, if you love these kinds of smart, honest conversations, take a second to follow the show, rate it, and leave a comment on your favorite podcast app. It truly helps more women find the iconic midlife. I'm so excited to welcome Kathy Douglan, founder of Style Vous Play, to the show.

This conversation is about more than clothes. It's about identity, authority, and showing up without apology. Welcome to the iconic midlife. Kathy Douglan. How are you today?

I'm good. I'm a little like I'm doing a podcast.

This is crazy.

So fun though.

No? It's gonna be so much fun and like, for those listening and watching, just a little background.

Kathy and I are good friends, so this is a real treat to have you on because I love when you know people at close with come on the show because it's just like that much more fun. It's fun. It's like getting together with your friends, right?

I know. My. My cheeks hurt already. It's true. It's True.

Oh, my gosh. So I was just thinking. I was like, when was the first time I met Kathy? And you know what?

I. I don't know if it was the first time we met, but the first time we, like, had, like, such a solid, fun hang was at our girlfriend's unbachelorette bachelorette party.

Right. Is that the one in pumps? Yes.

Yes.

That was so fun.

Those were the days.

That was wild. That was a long time ago.

Yeah, that was like. Was it, like, 20 years ago? Almost.

Oh, my God. That's so scary, isn't it? So wild.

So scary.

Think about how much has happened in 20 years.

I mean, girl, we've been through, like, lifetimes. Like, I know, careers, kids, you know, marriages, friends, like, divorce. Totally, totally.

I know. All of it.

Yes, all of it. But you are so much better for it. I'm like, she found her happy ending.

I did. I sure did. Second time's a charm. Ladies.

First one's always practice anyway, right?

Yeah, I think so.

And I love, like, when I think about you, I'm like, she has lived so many lifetimes. Because I remember one of the.

When we were hanging out, probably that first time in Palm Springs, you told me about your past life and about being a supermodel. Hello, guys.

That might be overstating. That is. That is definitely overstating. That was a very long time ago. That was just a little pup.

No, this. This. I was, like, so impressed when you told me. I remember, I was like, oh, my God, this is a real life supermodel.

Not to mention, you were, like, in the heyday of the supermodels. I mean, I'm talking, like, you know, the Christie's, the Cindy's, the Naomi's, and, like, running around with that crew.

First off, I don't think you ever told me, were you, like, discovered as a model or, like, how did it even happen?

Oh, this is a part of my life that I don't really talk about because it just feels like. It just feels like not even like that. That wasn't even me. You know what I mean? First of all, those women are, like, next level.

I did not hang out with them and roll with them at all. I was, like, doing catalog and editorial, and I was just like a small little chickadee in the grand scheme of things.

But yeah, I. I started modeling after I graduated college. So it was, like, not an expected move. It was very unexpected. And to be honest with you, I mean, I.

What I love the most about it was the travel and the experience And I think like in many ways I learned so much about myself during that period and it was just like this period of exploration and like, wow, this world is so big and Chicago is where I was born and raised. And like you just, it opens your eyes to like, holy smokes. Like, there's just so much out there.

And I mean, I enjoyed modeling for what it was, but like where I like really found my sort of like passion was like watching the stylists. And like, I was so into like what they were doing and how they were getting us ready for like the next shot and sort of like their role in all of it.

And I, I sort of just like learned about the industry that way. And I just, I really felt like I had a front row seat to like this whole other business that like, I didn't really understand like how it worked.

Like as a model you just show up and you put on the clothes but like you're looking and watching and listening and you're like, wow, there's so much that's involved in that. And I was just so intrigued by that industry. So that was cool. So.

So, yeah, so that's sort of, you know, eventually I ended up in New York and I was living in New York and then I, I got to a place where I was like, you know, I don't really want to be doing that anymore, but I loved fashion and I really wanted to like build a career in fashion. And so I eventually, while I was in New York, I started a PR agency with a friend and we had that agency for 16 years.

So between New York and LA and then eventually I kind of like spun off and was doing my own agency which was just focused on fashion. I think like, ultimately I knew I was sort of like creeping my way to just doing fashion.

You know, it was like fashion clients representing these like really cool brands, really sort of like fast paced New York LA lifestyle and kind of like drilling down to like a period where I was doing more and more styling, kind of like the scenes. And then eventually I was like, okay.

And I think this might be the thing that happens as you get older and you sort of like really understand like what makes you happy and like, and like there isn't like, like forever isn't promised.

So like for me I was like, okay, if I'm going to do this, if I'm going to like really like hone in and like do styling full time, it's like I need to just do it now. And so I did. So a few years ago I just like, packed up my PR agency, you know, kind of. I. I resigned from all my clients.

I told them I love them, but I really just wanted to do this. So this was like the next chapter. So here I am.

And you're so good at it, Kathy. My God, you are. Like, of, you know, all my friends, I feel like you're one of the ones whose style just is, like, off the charts.

Like, you've got that sort of, like, you've got the eye for it, and you've also, like, just how you put the outfits together. You know, it's like that modern, like, so chic aesthetic. Like, I love, love, love seeing what you wear and, like, seeing what you put together. So.

Yeah, of course.

So I want to know, like, what has shaped your personal style?

Like, were you a little girl, like, pouring through the magazines, like, when you were young and, like, doing all that, or was it something that, like, through has really shaped your style? How did you. How did you get to that point?

My. My family, like, did not spend a ton of money on clothes. So, like, indulging in fashion in that way wasn't really, like.

It wasn't, like, available to me in. In, like, the way. I think, like, our kids are so lucky today because, you know, that's a whole nother bucket of. Of conversation.

But, you know, I think I. I had to, like, really rely on the magazines.

I had to, like, look at magazines, and I remember just having stacks and stacks and stacks of, like, all of it and, like, ripping out editorials, and, like, my whole wall would be just covered in, like, you know, beautiful photos. And it was really just like. It was like a wonderland for me. Like, I just, like, really loved it.

And I think, like, you know, it's interesting, like, as time goes on, there's like, a trend, right? Like, you sort of pull out all these photos and you're like, wow, I. This really resonates with me, or this feeling.

And it was always about a feeling for me. So, like, style for me is like. It's kind of like, less about, like, the clothes. And I know that doesn't feel like that makes sense for me.

It's like, how does that make me feel? And I feel like sometimes when. When I even watch a fashion show that, like. Like, I almost could, like, be moved to tears. Do you know what I mean?

I'm just like. Like, something will come out and I will just be, like, dying, you know, and that is so beautiful. And I feel like that's the magic of fashion, right?

And style, I think, is like, you know, how I sort of got to play and discover as I was growing up and I think like, you know, and then slowly but surely, I mean, believe me, I made a million mistakes. If I look back at like photos from, you know, high school, college, I.

Love our cringe photos from back then.

I mean, they are so cringe worthy. It's actually humbling. You're just like, wow, what was I thinking? You know, the big hair, the teased hair, like, oh my God, it was all so bad.

But you know what? But at the time we were feeling it, you know, like, I thought, oh, this looks great. And Contempo Casuals was like my favorite place.

Girl that I worked at Contempo Casuals in high school. It was literally my favorite store.

Yeah, I loved it. I thought it was awesome. Like Friday night, let's go to Contempo Casuals and get an outfit.

Yes, 100%. 100%.

I love the dribble into that today. I wonder, you know, somebody.

I just saw a TikTok about this not long ago. It was, was actually.

It's gone through iterations and I think like the store got bought and bought and bought and then like kind of changed over and there.

And of course perimenopause is kicking in right now because I'm like, what was the modern store that it's like kind of modeled on, but there is like an iteration of it?

Was it BB that was like in.

That same kind of like vein a bit, you know?

That's crazy. I can't remember what I had for lunch two days ago, but I remember the name of a store totally.

That's how important it was to us.

It was, it was important. It was critical.

It was critical.

You know, I. I don't know.

So, yeah, I think it was just like slowly but surely sort of like figuring it out and, and just really like understanding like what I loved, what moved me, like what made me feel good. And I think that's sort of like how I develop like who I am stylistically. I. I guess, you know, I think.

You bring up a good point too, because I think it. Style is truly more important than fashion a lot of the time. I think it's how you feel in the clothes, it's how you wear them.

It's like, what is this emoting, you know, out of you? Because that is like what people will pick up and sense and like notice about you.

And I think like, you can be super shy, chic and stylish and a pair of like great jeans, a T shirt like something. It doesn't have to be like crazy, crazy. And it's, it's really just like how you are wearing it, you know?

Yeah. It's your attitude, right? It's like, what. It's like, what are you, what are you trying to evoke? You know, who are you as a person? Are you friendly?

Are you generous? Are you kind? Are you open minded? Or do you have a big heart?

Like, I know that almost doesn't feel like it lines up, but, but people feel energy, you know, and like you could, you can feel someone who's like kind and generous and they just happen to be wearing a cute outfit and you're like, I love their style. But you don't really know why you love.

It's like, just like you said, it could be jeans and a T shirt and a great pair of shoes, but it's really about the whole thing. It's about the feeling. So I think there's like power in that, which I think is so cool.

It's so powerful.

And like you're saying it's also like an art form, you know, it's like when you see an amazing outfit, it's art like that that can bring you to tears. I mean, it's emotional, you know, it's.

Yeah, totally.

Really to be appreciated.

I sort of felt that way when I was watching the. The Dior collection with J.W. anderson when he, you know, just sort of launched as the creative director recently.

And I was just like, I literally called my good friend Brittany and I was like, I don't know why, but I feel like I needed to call you, I needed to phone a friend because I was like, who, who else would appreciate this right now? Because I was feeling it so deeply and then I. And we were both experiencing it the same way. And that was so cool.

Anyway, that is really cool to have somebody like on the sidelines with you who gets it. You know, it's. It's so important. It's really important.

You know, I think, you know, with style, you know, I think a lot of women in midlife kind of, you know, maybe I don't want to say, let things go, but they prioritize things differently, right? Because, because there's a lot of responsibility, right?

There's, there's, you know, the family, there's the job, there's friends, there's like everything else. And it feels like a lot of times women in midlife put them, everybody else before themselves.

Um, so what do you think is the best way for a woman, especially like in this time frame to reclaim her identity through personal style.

I think, I think there's a couple ways of like approaching something like this.

I think that, like, when you kind of realize that you have a smidge more time on your hands, you know, like all of a sudden you're not just running the kids and shuttling, you're not just like booked all day or, or you're in a position where like, you get to like open up your schedule a little bit more. Like, right. Like we're a little bit older, we're more established, A lot of us work for ourselves, we create our own schedules.

And then all of a sudden you're like, wow, I have like a little space here, right? And it's like, you know, it's like slowing down and like going into your closet.

And I think one of the most important things I, I do with all my clients is like the edit, like, I think it's under the power of the edit is, is so major. And, and I think that like, when you, you kind of can't have clear vision if you have clutter and mess in your wardrobe in your closet.

Like, how do you figure out who you are when you don't even know where anything is, right?

And so like, like starting with just like that simple exercise is so important because once you clear out all the things that are not serving you, it's like not who you are anymore, right? You sort of are like, oh my God, I don't wear those pants anymore. Or I don't. That is like stained or it doesn't fit right?

It's like clarity of like, okay, I really like these things and these things serve me. And now how can I build off that?

And I think like, when you're in your, this time in your life, like, you, you really have to like kind of hit the pause button, right?

You have to hit the pause button and think about these things and just sort of like take the time to like understand, you know, what works on you, what doesn't work on you, what makes you feel good, what doesn't.

And I think, you know, kind of discovering like that about yourself is, is going to help you kind of establish a better sense of like your personal style moving forward. Right? Does that make sense?

Yeah, no, that totally makes sense.

And it's, it's like a long winded and this is such a good point, because I feel like I need to edit my own closet, you know, now that we're talking about this, because things get crazy in there. You know, things pile up. And, like, you have all these emotional attachments, too, to these pieces, right?

Like, as we're getting older, I feel sometimes even more attached to pieces that maybe remind me of, you know, when I was younger or, like, a specific memory. So how do we, like, start tackling all of that? Because there is so much, like, emotional and mental connection.

I was telling somebody the other day, I was like, you know, I feel like a therapist. Like. Like, styling is like, therapy, because. And I'm like, in the closet is my office. Whatever closet I'm in, that's my office for the day.

And you're right. It's very. It can be very emotional. There's a lot of nostalgic, you know, references.

Like, you really can, like, remember where you wore something, how you felt that day, and there's a place to keep those things. Right? Like, I feel like you have to think of your wardrobe as, like, real estate, you know, and, like, what gets to go front and center versus what.

What are just, like, the things that you want to, like, peek at every now and again or talk to your kids about one day or, like, open the box later, but, like, it's there, and you're, like, gonna hold on to it because those are special memories, and we all need those things, but they don't need to be sort of, like, front and center.

I think there's, like, the other extreme where it's like, you know, the emotional sort of realization is like, oh, my body just doesn't feel like I can wear these things anymore, or it doesn't fit me like it used to. And sometimes that can feel, like, not great, you know? I think sometimes, like, trying things on can be, like, discouraging, right? You're like, ugh.

You know, like, I used to wear these pants, and now I can't. They don't fit me. What's happening? My body, you know, And I think, like, that's a.

That's like, a hard part of, like, midlife, you know, and sort of, like, getting to this really. Sort of, like, being gentle with yourself, though, too, you know?

I think, like, you know, it's hard to, like, move through that and, like, sort of just being like, okay, I'm gonna do it differently now, you know? Like, it doesn't feel good to put something on that doesn't feel good on my body. That. Right. If it's tight.

I'm like, I was, oh, those are standing room only, you know, and it's.

Like standing room only. I love it.

Like, we're not going to the bar where you're standing all night anymore, so that's not gonna serve me. So like, you know, like, you have to just slowly just like.

And once you take out the things that like stress, like, really actually just make you feel bad, it gets better, you know.

So, yeah, it can be emotional and I think, like, you just have to like, be gentle with yourself and, and just know that there are like, there's a big world out there of beautiful things and like, there's a way to sort of evolve your style and who you are and what you want to evoke without making yourself feel shitty.

Yes, totally. And I think, you know what, why even in midlife, I mean, I feel like we should be taking risks, right? Try something new, try something different.

Maybe it's like, you know, a look or a style you didn't, you've never done before. Now is the time to have fun, right? With style? A bit, yeah.

I mean, I think, I think confidence is everything, right?

And I think, I think if we're all really honest with ourselves, like, if we really like, we all have a full length mirror and if you don't, you need to go out and buy one today. Like, if you look in the mirror and you feel fabulous, then wear it. You know, like, clothing is supposed to bring joy.

Like, yes, there's like, it's the sort of like functional aspect and that's just whatever. But like, really. I remember I was at this, this conference in New York.

I was doing a panel and someone asked me, like, I, I just don't have time, I don't have time for, to like, think about, I'm going to wear. I just wear the same thing every day. Like I, I. And I'm like, why, why should I, like, you know, spend time like thinking about all this stuff?

And I said, well, I said you have to ask yourself if it brings you joy and if it brings you joy to wear the same thing every day, then that's your happy place and that's fine. But it like, but a lot of people, it brings them joy to like, know that what they're wearing feels great and it's like their version of joy, right?

It's like, it's also personal. Like, so some people have the bandwidth, others don't. It's why I love, like, have my job.

Totally. You're like, this keeps me employed.

Oh, because I Have so many clients that just, they don't have the time and they run, they run companies and they're busy and they are kick ass powerful women who just crush it, but they don't have the time to think about, oh, my gosh, are those pants outdated? Or. I have like this important event coming up and I need to go shopping for it. Like, no, they just. And so it's.

I, I actually think, like, you know, it's awesome that we get to do what we do, you know, and like, help women in that way.

Yeah, I mean, it's, it's a statement too. When you walk into a room, you feel good, you look good, like everything's coming together. That's powerful, you know, for sure, right?

Absolutely. I had a client, was still a client, and I just, like, love her so much.

But I remember, like, one of the first times I ever worked with her, I said to her, you know, you have to dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

It's part of manifesting. It's manifesting.

And she literally, like, will refer to that so often, and she literally has like, gotten to the place she wants to be. And it's so awesome to witness that, you know, it's like, that's so cool. It's so rad, right?

Really is just so cool to like, watch people, they sort of like stand taller when they, you know, imagine like you watch your client, they're like putting on something and they like, they look in the mirror and they're like, they stand taller, they smile at themselves, they like, all of a sudden like walk with like a bounce in their step, you know, and it's just like, it's so awesome to watch people just radiate in that way.

Yeah. Like, and getting your hair done on top of that, that's like a power move right there.

All of it. Right? Style isn't just about the clothes. You need it all.

Oh, all of it. All of it.

And the jewels.

Yes, the jewels, the accessories, everything.

Yeah. What do you.

So I wanted to ask you because I feel like we've been fed a lot of like, rules as we've, you know, come up. And it's like, you can wear this until this age. You can do this until, you know, this point in your life.

But are there anything like any, are there any style quote unquote rules that you think women over 40 should just ignore?

I think there shouldn't be rules, you know, like, I mean, look, I think like, we're, we're intuitive, we're smart, Women know what feels right and what doesn't feel right.

So you might have your own kind of, you know, rules for yourself, you know, But I think like, this notion that you can't wear, you can't show your arms when you're like 40, or you can't wear a skirt, you can't show your knees when you're. They're so old fashioned, you know, And I think, like, we've come such a long way from like, those.

I feel like those rules actually don't really exist anymore. I feel like those were the rules when we were kids and our mothers were like, moving through their midlife. Right.

And I think, like, you know, that doesn't. Or like, don't wear bright colors. You. You don't want to stand out. You want to blend in.

And it's like, I don't feel like any of that really resonates anymore. I, I don't ever. I mean, look, there's plenty of women who have insane bodies even as they age, and they look more beautiful today.

I mean, I feel like, I feel like women take such good care of themselves now, right? And like, if you look great in a bikini, wear the bikini. Just because you're 40, whatever, 50, 60, you don't have to wear one piece.

If you look and feel great. That's all that matters. So, yeah, I think the rules need to just. We need to kick. Kick the can to the curb.

Yes, 100%. I'm like, I want to get my body, I'm working on it. I want to get it to a place where I can like, wear a bikini from here on out.

That's like good inspiration.

Yeah, I mean, that's powerful, right? Even just the act of, like, knowing what you want.

Absolutely, absolutely. So what would you say? Let's say there's a woman that, you know, she wants to kind of do things differently and change things up.

Like, what kind of advice would you give to somebody like that that's kind of trying to still see where she lands?

There's a couple things I feel like if you really just think about the quality of clothing, like quality fit, like buying fabrics that are, you know, you're buying wool and silk and cashmere and cotton and linen. You're not buying polyester and rayon and like, things that just don't, they're not breathable, they don't drape well, they're just not made well.

Like, if you are wearing clothing that fits well, that is tailored beautifully and the, the fabric is like, quality, you are going to stand out without sticking out because you're going to look fat. You're going to look amazing, right? So I think, like, I almost. I almost say buy quality, buy less and buy better. You know, buy. Buy less junk.

Don't buy the junk. It's just not worth it because you're just going to throw it out. It's so much better to just buy a pair of.

Like, you wouldn't build a house with shitty wood, right? So, like, why are you gonna, like, create this foundation of your wardrobe and have it be shitty?

You know, like, you build off that these pieces can be in your wardrobe for years to come. And I think that that's what. That's how I would sort of like, you know, start the process of, like, you want to walk in a room and look amazing.

If you're wearing things that fit well, that are good quality and nicely nice fabrics, you're going to look amazing, you.

Know, so that means, like, sometimes that means shopping less and just buying better.

For sure, for sure. I mean, we can all get caught up in, like, you know, a little bit of the fast fashion or you want to, like. And I think you still can do that.

I think it, you know, it depends on, oh, I really, like, love that trend, but I'm not really interested in committing to it at that price point that I know normally like to shop at. So I'm gonna just, like, try it by, like, buying it at, like, a high street store, you know, and then that way, like, it's like you're not sort of.

It's like low commitment, but, like, you want to, like, dabble a little bit. Like, I think, like, there's space for that for sure, but I think, like, just foundationally, like, I always say, buy better, buy better.

Invest in the pieces.

No, that absolutely makes sense. And I think it's interesting, too, because you're not just styling. People like styling.

I mean, you're not just styling bodies, but you're taking on women who might be going through transitions in life.

Maybe there's some insecurities, there's some history going through all these different things and emotional patterns that kind of show up at this time of life. So what are some of the most common things that you see with that kind of thing?

When it comes up when women are trying to reclaim style and get dressed at this time in life, I mean, it's.

It's hard. I mean, there's a lot that happens. Like just, you know, thinking about when we first met and how much has happened in 20 years.

Like, you know, you Change a lot, right? Like, life kind of changes you for the better. Most of the time. It's always for the better.

I think, like, changes is powerful, and I think we all learn and grow and evolve and. And I think, like, your style grows and evolves too, right?

So I think, yeah, there's a lot of emotional things that happen in life, whether it's, you know, a divorce or losing a parent or sickness or whatever. But I think at the end of the day, if you, you know, you. You have to just. You have to feel good.

You have to choose things that make you feel good and don't force it, you know, just like, really honor, like, what is it you're trying to achieve. Like, do you want to be. Do you want to be comfortable every day?

And if being comfortable is being comfortable doesn't mean you have to wear sweats, you know, there's so many amazing, you know, athleisure brands or lifestyle brands that have, like, you know, the equivalent to like, a sweatpant but, like, is a tailored trouser silhouette.

So, like, this is where, like, you have to, like, you know, either take the time to, like, you know, look online and see, you know, do a little research or hire a stylist. There's so many stylists. This, you know, everywhere. You know, there. I feel like there's so many stylists, right?

You can, like, if you have the budget to hire a stylist, great, but if you don't, you can go to, like, a department store or boutique that, like, you love and you trust the people that work there and, like, have them help you, right? So, you know, just, like, think about what it is that you're trying to evoke and, like, really hone in on that.

And I think that, you know, the emotional things that happen, like, if you're wearing, like, the black pant that looks amazing, you're gonna feel better, period. End story, you know, so, yeah, you got a divorce, but you look kick ass and, like, you look amazing.

So, like, whatever, you know, like, now you're gonna start dating or, you know, so I think, like, I don't know, it's. It's like a hard. It's like a hard question to ask answer, like, specifically, because it's so rooted in, like, personal experience for, like, the.

The client or whoever's kind of like, moving through it, but I think, like, really just making sure that what you are wearing is true to who you are. The rest will just fall into place.

See? Okay, that makes sense too, because, you know, we see Every season, new trends are emerging, you know, and.

And yeah, sure, some, you know, you might want to try a trend here, trend there, but what is the kind of the best way to adopt maybe a new trend or two into your closet without making it.

So try hard, because I feel like you do things like that, Kathy, so effortlessly, like, you're classic modern, but then you also will, like, throw a trend in here and there, you know. So, like, how do you make that synergy happen? If you want to bring in some, like, kind of trendy, trendy, you know.

Items there, there could be baby steps here, right?

Like, okay, the skinny jean was the thing forever, you know, and like, if you go in your closet and you do that edit and you're like, oh, my God, I have nothing but skinny jeans, okay, that's like a very simple thing you could do to, like, make yourself feel modern. I'm going to go out and I'm going to buy an amazing straight leg and.

Or a kick flare or just something, you know, that is more modern and that's a simple thing. Anybody could do it. Like, you go out and you buy like a new pair of jeans.

That feels so good, you know, or, you know, or your pants were like, sort of like side zip, like little crepe pants from the 90s, and all of a sudden you're like, why did I. Why, why is that still in my closet?

You know, go and get a pair of trousers, you know, and buy a pair of trousers that are like, that just drape the perfect way and you're going to feel like a million bucks and you're going to look modern.

So there's like, simple little things you can do and you don't have to, like, there's a price point for everybody, you know, I mean, I might say, like, invest in the foundation pieces, pieces, but like, you know, there's a price point out there for everybody. You know, we could, like, talk about options, like, specifically, but like, you know, cotton T shirts, get rid of the ratty ones.

Find one that isn't clingy. Find one that is more, you know, it's like, shows your shape without clinging to the body. That's more modern, you know.

Oh, you know, not everybody's going to want to wear this, like, royal blue, electric blue color that's like coming full force for spring, but maybe it's in like a handbag or a clutch and that's like your way of kind of like pulling in a trend without feeling like you're. It's invasion of the body snatchers. You know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean?

So, like, you can do it as big or small as you want to, but I think, like, once you start experimenting, you're going to realize what your, what your limits are, right? You're going to be like, okay, I, I love this color, but I don't think I'm going to buy a dress in that color.

That blue color that's going to be like all over the place for spring. But, like, I really love it in a shoe or a bag or a T shirt that's under a blazer or that kind of a thing. So I say start small.

You know, think about the things that resonate with you. Usually it's a color. Usually it's like when people think of trends, it's like either a fit or a color.

And there's ways that you can incorporate a modern fit in a color without it feeling, like, too severe or like you're not honoring who you are.

Confession time. I may or may not have several pairs of skinny jeans still in my closet because I know they're.

I know they're not like, cool and everything, but I love wearing them. I love a skinny jean still. It's hard for me to shake.

You're not alone. I mean, I, I feel like I understand it. I. I understand. I. I think that there are still places where a skinny jean can work.

Like, you know, you're wearing a thigh high boot or like, if you are wearing a thigh high boot, you can. Can't stick a straight leg in there. You know, like, you need the skin. You need something a little bit more form fitting.

It might be a legging or it's still the skinny jean. Or if you're wearing a slouchy boot, you know you want it to go in.

There's like, definitely, there's definitely times when a skinny jean is like, it's just the fit that works. It's that simple. So truth be told, like, my clients all have one medium blue wash skinny jean in their totally one black.

It's still there, but, you know, but it's for, like, it's reserved for, like, specific looks for now, you know? And you know, they're actually coming back.

I know. I was so excited to hear that. I'm like, yes. Because I do love a good skinny jean.

I know. It's okay. You're off the hook. Okay. You're good.

Thank you. I know. I was like, oh, my God. I'm gonna have to confess, Festus. The skinny jean is alive and well in my Closet.

As long as you're not wearing it with a wedge. No. Just kidding.

Yeah, but that was the jam, you know?

Yeah. Yeah, Completely. Okay, so what trends are you, like, go the away, do not come back. I don't want to see your face.

I don't like a cold shoulder. I don't like a cold shoulder. I do not like wedges. There, I said it. I don't.

It was like, I remember when the wedge became a thing, and then I was like, oh, it's gonna go away. And it never died. It never went away. It never went away. And I understand it. I know why. Why it works. It's, like, functional for many people.

But.

There'S different versions of a wedge, right? There's like. There's sort of like, the more kind of sleeker wedge. So, like, I opt for those.

Like, if I'm gonna do a wedge for a client, I will never wear wedge personally, because I just. I don't know why. There. It's just like. It's like an allergy to me. But there are.

There are certain ones that I actually can totally get behind, and I actually think look fabulous. So, you know, it's not for everyone. But those are. Yeah. Cold shoulder and a wedge are my two.

And, oh, my God, if they're worn together, that's probably your worst nightmare.

I don't like that.

With a skinny jean. Can you imagine a cold shoulder, skinny jean, and a wedge. You die. You die.

Triple threat.

Triple threat. The stuff of nightmares for you.

Yeah. I mean, there are a lot of bigger problems in the world, but that would cause me to turn around. Oh, my God.

Dying. I love it.

Okay, so when a woman finally gets it, like, all right, like, she's, like, feeling it, like, styles coming together, you know, like, confidence is there. What do you think actually changes first? Do you think it's, like, how she looks, how she moves? Like, how she sees herself?

Like, what is going on with this, like, whole psychology?

It starts with the person. It's. It starts with the person because you're like, the woman is carrying the clothes, Right? But I will say there is.

There is that thing that happens when somebody puts something on. And, like, I. I will actually snort, but it's so embarrassing.

I have heard you snort, laugh. I've heard you snort laugh.

I snort when someone puts something on. That makes me just like. And it will. Like, I don't know why. I don't know why it happens.

It's so weird and creepy, and I Should not have just confessed that. But there's, like a gasp and, like, a snort, and I'm just, like, dead. It's, like, stops me dead in my tracks. And I'm like, you have to buy that. Like.

And you know what? I think that there are moments when clients get dressed and they're like, oh, my God, this feels so good. And I feel amazing, you know?

And, like, so, you know, sometimes it is, like, the thing you put on that can make you feel that way. But I do think that there's, like, power in understanding who you are.

And I think, like, you said, like, once you kind of understand it, then the confidence comes out, right? Once, you know, like, okay, I actually really feel great in these pants.

And getting dressed in the morning is much easier because all the clutter is gone. And you know that everything that's in there looks good on you.

And you know how to style it because you had a session with me and I told you what looks good with what. Wink, wink. Funny.

But.

But, like, really, like, the confidence is just you. You leave the house feeling great, right? And then you walk into wherever it is you're going to, and, like, people will feel your energy.

Your energy is going to be strong and powerful. But, like, you know, it's just. It's like you. It's, like, palatable, right?

Like, you're like, feel it, see it, and, like, people are going to want to sit next to you at the dinner table. You know, they're going to want to, like, know who you are or, like, you know, be introduced or whatever the thing is.

So, yeah, I think confidence is. Is. Is key for sure.

Yeah, 100%. It takes you so far, like you're saying. And also, like, what advice would you give? Let's say it's a woman at home.

She's walked into her closet, she's looking at her closet. She's going, oh, my God, I don't even know where to start. I want to do something different. I want to make a change.

You know, I want to figure out my personal, personal style now.

Now that I've, you know, gone through a life change, or the kids are now out of the house, or I'm divorced or I'm dating or, like, whatever it is, or she just wants to.

Change it for herself.

You know, what are, like, three key things that you think she should do to kind of start that. That trajectory?

I think you just have to go through your closet. You have to go piece by piece. And if it's too overwhelming, like, you have to phone A friend, have a friend come over.

You know, have a friend come over. You could do it alone. Have a friend come over, have it, like, have a bottle of wine and, like, be relaxed about it.

And like, have dinner in the closet and just like, make it like a fun, like. Like pizza party, you know, like, that kind of energy where you're just, like, not taking it too seriously.

You're not going to let yourself get depressed. It's like, it's going to be empowering. It's going to be. It's like your next chapter.

So, like, have a friend, hire a stylist, do it on your own, whatever it is. But, like, have a drink, put on the music, and like, you know, you might have a friend who's on FaceTime, you know, or on a zoom.

And, you know, you can, like, tell stories about pieces and like, oh, I don't want to get rid of this because of this. Believe me. It's like a night out. Like, it's. It's actually quite liberating and fun.

And I think once you get rid of all that stuff, you're going to have a better idea of, like, what's missing, you know, like, what is it that I'm missing? What is it that I really need? And like, we ask our clients lots of questions, like, you know, what is a typical week? You know, what do you.

You know, this is your career. But like, what is a. What is a typical week? What are you doing? What. What is your day? Flow. Flow. Like, and like, you know, we.

We start to sort of like, look at everything that's in the closet. And it's like, sometimes it's glaringly missing. It's obvious what's glaringly missing, right?

Like, whoa, you don't actually own one T shirt that you could wear. Like, you. You run this company and you are such a.

Just a rock star, but, like, you're so focused on your career that you forgot about the weekends and at night. You know what I mean? And so, like, you.

Once you know, it's missing either direction, whether you, like, no matter what it is that you do in your life and career, there's always going to be holes and you just have to, like, course correct, right? You have to, like, work backwards from what's missing.

And then, you know, knowing that you can walk in to your closet and get dressed with ease is going to change the whole thing for you. So I think those are important things, but also, like, one very simple thing everybody can do.

Which, this might not feel like a big deal, but, like, I. All my clients have valet bars in their closet. And if you don't know what that is, it's.

It's basically like a metal bar that comes out and you can hang what you going to wear the next day. And if you like look at your calendar and you're like, okay, I know, here's my day tomorrow, here's what I got to do.

And you lay out the look for the next day on this valet bar. Like, you get to just wake up and walk in and get dressed. You don't have to like, go through that.

Well, hopefully you won't go through all that emotional turmoil because you would have cleaned out the closet. We would have like, replace things with, you know, replace the holes. Everything that's in there, like, you know how to wear it.

You know, it feels great. And now it's just hanging there. It's a process. It's not like, this isn't like an overnight thing. Right?

Like, you have to like, take your time and like, and, and like move through it.

But I promise you, when you do all the steps and you get to a place where like, you can just walk in and pull the thing off the valet bar and like get dressed, you're going to like, you're going to send me a thank you note.

Totally. I'm going to be like, hallelujah. It worked.

Like, it's really a great feeling. I.

A lot.

Everything. Everybody's so busy. You. That's like one thing you can do to like, not have to think about it, right.

And to like make the morning easier or like whenever you're getting dressed to go somewhere, you know, it's like, just take that part of it out. There's something. You're right. Pre planning an outfit is a really good idea.

Pre planning plan. It's. It seems so easy and basic and like, you're like, oh, whatever, I'll just do it in the morning.

But it really does, you know, you never know what's going to happen in the morning, especially if you're a mom and you have like, or you get called into a meeting that's like last minute.

And then all of a sudden you have three minutes to get ready instead of the 45 minutes you thought you had, you know, or having it there ready to go is like a game changer.

Total, total game changer. Okay, so what trends are you personally loving right now?

I feel like, I mean, I've sort of really loved the whole brown.

Yes. I love brown. Yes.

And like, it's funny because I remember like brown would be like, oh, like, just kind of poo pooed upon, pun intended, I suppose. Totally. But, like, brown done right is, like, so elegant and so chic, and I just love it. I love it. I love cream with brown. I love grays with brown.

I love Burgundies with, like. There's so much you can do with brown.

It's so fresh and modern, and, like, it's kind of like this, like, little unexpected, like, color that just came out and just crushed everything this season.

And black and brown, too, is a nice combo. It can be, you know.

No, I do. I love it. And even shades of brown, right.

Like, you can sort of, like, roll into, like, the Burgundies or, you know, Merlot's or kind of any of those hues, and it's all so beautiful together. And it's. And. And if, like, you then, like, take it a step further and it's, like, texture, you know, like, think about texture.

Like, don't underestimate, like, you know, the power of, like, a pattern, even if it's tonal.

Like a tonal pattern or texture to a sweater or a pant or a jacket, like, whether it's like, a shearling or, like, some sort of weave, like, you know, adding that dimension also makes a big difference, and I really have loved kind of incorporating that for clients, too.

And I think there's also a shade of brown that looks good on every skin tone. You know, it's like. Right. You can always find within that palette, you know, something that will look good on you. Right.

Totally. Yeah. I. I really. I agree. It's really elegant. It's cool.

It's really cool. It's really cool. You know, I love.

Back at the top of the show, you know, we talked about you kind of moving on from PR and opening, you know, and doing all of your styling, and I think that that is so cool, because that is something you did in midlife. You know, that's like, a transition that you made, and you went all in.

Like, you closed down the PR side and you went all into styling, which I think is so admirable, you know, because you took a chance on yourself, you know, you really did.

It was scary. It was scary. It definitely was. Like, took me. I. I like to pretend like, it was overnight, and it so wasn't. It was scary. But I'm so glad I did it.

I. I think, like, that's like. Yeah, I'm glad I did that.

Yeah. I mean, I think it.

And it takes a lot of, you know, grit and determination and all the things, you know, to kind of, you know, put yourself into these, into this full force. But what advice would you give a woman at home that maybe is on the cusp of something like that? Like, maybe she wants to start a business.

Maybe she wants to, you know, do something that she's never done before for.

I say do it. I say do it. Do it. Do it. I think, like, you know, you hear it all the time.

If you do what you love, like, do what you love, and you're gonna be successful. And I know that seems easier said than done, so I can totally appreciate, like, why someone would be, like, apprehensive or, like, not want to.

To take that leap. But it's so worth it. It's so worth it. And I think, why not?

Yeah.

Yeah, why not? You know? And, like, I think I. I. My only regret is that I wish I didn't. I wish I did sooner, you know?

So I would say, like, anybody out there who's watching, just. Just do it.

And start with baby steps, you know, I feel like there was, like, some Instagram post recently where someone was like, write down, like, the 10 things you, you know, you want for yourself. And then it's like, circle. Circle one.

The.

The one that, like, is the most important to you. And then it's like, now put that one thing on another sheet of paper, and what are the 10 things you need to do to get to that thing?

Wow.

And I was like, that's so interesting. And I think, like, if you can think of it in those terms, I feel like, you know, don't wait. Bottom line, don't wait. And look at you.

Look what you're doing.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you.

So awesome. Oh, it's so fun. It's, like, so perfect for you.

Oh, thank you, honey. Yeah, I just. Same, you know, same kind of thing. I'm like, gosh, why didn't I do this sooner? But you know what? Fear held me back. And I'm.

I know.

I'm glad that I finally got to a place where I was kind of, like, it. I'm going to do it. But that is a real thing, a feeling. Fear holds people back, you know?

Well, there was a saying once. It's like, fear is praying for what you. Wait, what is it? It's like fear is actually praying for what you don't want.

Yes. That is so freaking true.

And you're like, oh, my God, that's so true. So, yeah, I think everyone just needs to, like, pull up their bootstraps and, like, handle that shit. Just do it.

Because you are making a choice when you are succumbing to fear, you know, and we've all done it, you know, but it's like you, you're going in the wrong direction almost, you know, it's like you have to course correct and just take a chance, you know, and it's scary, it's not easy, but it's worth it, you know?

Stress for the job you want.

Yes, exactly. Exactly. All right, Miss Kathy. 25 year old Kathy, where was she? She was in New York, right? 25 year old Kathy.

I was living in Europe. Oh, I was in Europe.

Flying.

Yeah. Flying around, doing jobs, living in different countries. It was so fun.

Oh my God. Like in the prime of the modeling days, huh?

Yeah, it was fun. It was good fun. But you know what? It was also really hard, you know, so like, if I think about myself at 25, I really think that that was. Yeah.

I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but there's like certain birthdays or years that have felt hard. And I feel like 25 was the hardest year for me.

Why was it hard?

I. I think it's because you, you're doing something and you're like, is this really what I should be doing? And you set these like, goals for yourself.

Like, I remember there was a time where like, if I'm not married enough, I don't have kids by 30, I'm screwed, I'm never gonna get married. Or like, I don't wanna be an old mom, or like, blah, blah, blah. You could tell yourself a million things.

So then all of a sudden you start second guessing, you know, like, am I supposed to be doing this?

And like, and I think, like, what I would have told myself, what I would, what I would tell myself today back then is that like, you are where you should be. Like, you're exactly where you should be. And everything just sort of builds and evolves, you know, the way it's meant to.

And everything is like a stepping stone. And like, just trust. You just have to trust.

Yeah, you do. And fuck the timelines. Fuck the timelines.

Yeah, the timelines are stupid.

Yeah. So stupid. So stupid. All they do is give you, give us anxiety, you know, it's like, there's no point for a timeline like that, you know?

Yeah, I agree. I. I think timelines have to go. The rules have to go. The timelines have to go. Yes. Show your arm. God damn it.

Totally, totally. Wait, you. You've never told me what is your most memorable, like, Experience from your modeling days.

During that time, my most memorable was I did a fashion show with Isaac Mizrahi for Isaac Mizrai. And do you remember that documentary Unzipped?

Yes.

Yeah. And this was a fashion show that was not on the Runway. Like, not on the Runway. Like New York. Like, New York Runway. This was in. This was in Michigan.

And it was. Imagine, like, you know, when you go to a trunk show at like a Neiman Marcus or something like that.

It was like the equivalent of a Neiman Marcus in Michigan. And he was there. And like, he. And this is like when I was first starting, and he, like, chose the outfit. And, like, he was so nice.

And I just, like, I actually have a photo that I, like, I saved. It was like, a picture of me with him, and I just thought he was the nicest person. And that documentary was out Unzipped.

And I just remember, like, I scream, you scrim. We all scream for the scrim.

Totally. Oh, my God.

I loved him. Anyway, that was when memorable.

That's so cool. That's so cool. It's like. And you.

And it's so nice to meet people like that who are kind in real life, you know, and were like, what you wanted them to be.

Totally. Yeah. I feel like I never. I only had one kind of shitty experience.

Was it a show?

It was a pretty major designer in Milan, and it was doing. It was doing lookbook. It was like the lookbooks for the collection.

Okay.

And I'm not going to say who it was because it just. That's not good form. But it was really big designer, and I was starving.

You were angry, girl. You were hangry.

I was hangry. I was so hungry. And I remember opening up this, like, refrigerator, and I basically got, like, my hands slapped.

And it was like, they were like, no, no.

Like, the designer came over and slapped your hand.

Not the designer, but, like, your people. And told me that I was only allowed to eat the breadsticks.

And I will never look at a.

Breadstick the same way ever again.

They're like, what breadstick for you?

I mean, they were good breadsticks. It was Italy. I mean. But no, it was not enough. And I could not have one more cappuccino. I was going to, like, it was like, cappuccino and breadsticks.

I was so hungry. It was the worst.

Oh, my God. The model diet. You're like, can a girl get some pasta around here? Like, I need some food.

I was like, can I have, like, a tuna salad or something? It was. It Was crazy.

It was so rude. Oh. And then.

Okay, here's the worst part. There was this beautiful, big, beautiful salad in the refrigerator with the name of the designer on it.

Like, nobody touched, like, except the designer kind of a thing. Yeah.

I'll tell you who it was.

You'll have to tell me, because, you know, I'm going to be like, kathy. I need to know.

Yeah.

No way. They're like, models only breadsticks around here.

Yeah. And drink coffee. That's it. Drink your cappuccinos and eat your breadsticks and put on the next. Look, damn it.

And don't talk.

Don't talk till midnight.

I mean, you never know. The modeling world could come a calling again. Lady, please.

I mean, what would it take for.

You to get back on the Runway? 10,000.

It would have to be for a good cause.

Yes.

Yes. It would have to be something, like, really, like, important and special.

Yeah, I think. Yes.

I don't know. I'm. I. I feel like I'm a confident person, but there. There's something about that that does. I don't feel so confident about anymore.

Girl, you probably had a great walk. You knew what you were doing. You could do it again.

Yeah, but I love what I do.

Yes. No, you're. And you're great at what you do. And speaking of important things, what important lesson have you learned in midlife?

I think once you learn to love yourself.

Mm.

And, like, like, really understanding, like, what you deserve, like. Like, how. And who loves you and how you deserve to be loved. The. The rest is just gravy. Rest is gravy. Like, you have to love yourself.

You have to. You can't help anyone else. You can't love anyone else fully until you love yourself.

Yeah. You have to learn, and you have to, like, understand what you deserve. Like, how. What you deserve. Like, how you deserve to be loved.

Everyone deserves to be loved, but in. In a way that, like, is really pure and kind and all the things.

And true. Yes. You have to be true to yourself. I mean, 100%. I can't even, like. Yeah.

And it just kills me because I know so many of us go through, like, life doing the exact opposite, you know, and we finally maybe get to a place, like, here in midlife, where we are just going back and, like, you know, really recalibrating and seeing, like, where, you know the time. You know the time goes, and you're just like. It's not regret, but it's almost like, God, why didn't I just love myself a little More, you know?

Yeah. Like, I deserved better or I just, I deserve to trust myself. I deserve to, like, take the chance. I deserve to, you know, not live in fear.

Like, there's so many things that, like, if you just trust, you have to just trust and love yourself. I feel like that was like a two part answer, but, like, trust. I feel like if you love yourself, you're going to trust yourself.

Yes.

You know, and then like, you're going to take those risks and you're going to like, not stay in relationships or partnerships or friendships that aren't serving you. You know, like just all the, all the good, the goodness will just make its way towards you and you're not gonna be anxious, you know, or fearful.

You're just gonna, like, know what you deserve. And so I think, like, love and trust.

And how are you living iconically right now, Ms. Kathy?

I think being in a position where I get to help people feel, feel great is like, like I can't think of anything better.

You know, it's like there's doctors who help patients feel healthy and good and like, I feel like being in a position where I can help people feel amazing and like, smile at themselves, stand taller, walk with the swagger, you know, be confident is such a gift.

And like, I'm so glad that I get to do that or have like even this tiny little role in making somebody feel like, confident or, you know, like they're gonna crush it, you know, in the boardroom or at a casting or whatever it is that they need to do. Yeah. I feel like, really, it's like a privilege.

So it is. And you are, like I said, you are so good at what you do. Your own style is like your calling card. You know, it's like it just.

You walk into a room and you just know, you're like, that girl has got it.

Yeah.

You just know, you're like, she's got it. She knows what she's doing. Yes. Oh my gosh.

It's nice to be able to share that with others, that's for sure.

100%. So if somebody listening at home or watching at home wants to book an appointment with you or find you, what is the best way to do that.

So you can, you can go to our Instagram, which is Style vooplay, and you're probably like, how do I spell that? It's style. And then vu Play like it's a play on Cebu Play.

So you can find us on Instagram or you can go to our website, stylevooplay.com and you can shoot us an email through there, but. Yeah. Or website. Either way works. And yeah, happy, happy to help anyone.

Yes. You guys, book. Book with Kathy. She's amazing. She will make the process seamless. She will help you so much. Like, it's. She's amazing. You have to do it.

Sounds like I have to come over to your house and edit your wardrobe.

Oh, my God. Will you wait? Let's make a party out of it. You know, I'll have the wine ready for us.

We should do it. We should do it on a Friday night.

Yes. We'll order. Oh, my God. It'll be perfect. We can just, like, have fun. I'll turn on some music, get a little dance in there. You know how we do it.

I might have to sleep over.

Yes. Guest room is ready for you.

Because we don't ever just drink one bottle of wine.

No, no, no. We like to. We like to really, you know, get after it.

I might just get those skinny jeans out of the house.

Totally. You're like, well, maybe I'll reconsider those skinny jeans.

You're gonna be like, where are they? Where are they? You're gonna be like, going through your.

I'm like, where are you? Skinny jeans.

They've been replaced by straight legs.

Yes, totally.

Totally.

I need this. I need this. Amazing.

Well, I just wanted to remind everyone at home to rate, subscribe, and comment on your favorite podcast app so more women can find the show. And definitely check out Kathy's website out her Instagram. She's amazing. You will not be sorry you did okay, my love.

Thank you so much for joining us.

All right, have a good day.

This is exactly why I wanted Kathy on the show, because style in midlife isn't about fixing yourself. It's about editing, owning, and trusting who you've become.

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