Maybe you’ve heard the advice to “use external accountability” to help you follow through more consistently. But what does that actually mean in practice? It comes in many forms, so today I’m sharing the spectrum of options for using external accountability and how to choose the right one based on your goals. Plus, signs it’s time to pivot.

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Recently a close friend said to me, what do you

actually mean by external accountability?

And when I started to get into the definition of what it meant, I could

see their eyes glaze over and I knew I was losing

them. In that moment, I realized what they actually wanted was just

real life examples. When I say external accountability, what

do I mean? So today we're going to look at some real examples. Real

ranging from really flexible and free over towards

more structured options, higher cost or higher investment

options. And then also what should you consider when you are

deciding which one is actually going to support your goals?

Plus when should you pivot and what do you need to

look for when you're thinking this isn't working.

Now let's start with who this is for. Because

external accountability is really a strategy that works best for people

who have a tendency to resist inner expectations.

Like you say you'll do something and then you put it off, or you

make a schedule or put something in your calendar for yourself, but

then you ignore it when the time comes. In other words,

you are more likely to follow through when you're accountable to

an outside party. And that's really what we're talking

about. And a quick note, if you are listening to this

and you are not that person, meaning you

regularly follow through on what you say you'll do,

it might seem strange to you that people can't simply

sort of do the thing they say they want to do it. So

if they wanted it badly enough, wouldn't they do it? Well,

I think it's helpful to think about this. Almost like being right

handed or left handed, you didn't pick which hand is

going to be your dominant one in 99% of the cases.

And people who tend to resist inner

expectations, they didn't choose this. Believe

me. That is why it is helpful to understand

how external accountability is one strategy that

can help people with follow through who otherwise

might have been struggling with it. Okay, so let's get

into some of the real examples and I want

to start with first, the most flexible and

sort of free options when it comes to these. Okay?

So on the spectrum of being

free, flexible, meaning anytime you want it, it

is ready for you. We have things like making it public. This could

be telling people in your life, hey, I'm committing to this. This is something

I'm going to do that can help you to actually follow through with it.

Another thing might even just be making your tracking

publicly available. I know there are times where I have put up sort of a

chart or schedule and I've actually marked off when I've completed something

and anyone who comes to my home or sometimes in the workplace

will actually see it. And so making it public can be a

motivator and it costs nothing and you can do it at any

time. The next one is to form your own group. This could

be creating an accountability partner. This could be a small

group of people, but kind of saying, does anybody want to

get involved in this? I have this goal. Let's do this together. It

could be a text group where you check in with, have you done

this thing today? So it can be fairly simple and it's pretty

lightweight and easy to set up. So those are free. Really, really flexible.

So let's move on. Next towards things that are a bit more structured

and might involve some cost, but aren't at the top end

of investment. And so one might be joining an

existing group. If there is something you want to do and there's actually a

group for it, then you can join that existing

group probably led by somebody maybe with a

schedule of live things. Or it could be something that is

asynchronous, but it is already structured and ready to go.

Another could be that you schedule sessions with

another person and say, hey, let's go to this class together. Or, or

let's join this program together. But there's an actual time to show up.

This could also be on your own. Where I know there are people who, when

they sign up for a class at the gym and they know that they're taking

up a spot, they're more likely to actually show up

for it. So having that time associated can help you.

And typically there might be a cost involved with that. Another

one is having an asynchronous accountability coach.

So they're checking in on you, but it is more. Are a little bit

more flexible with maybe when perhaps it's just a daily or

weekly check in. This could have something to do with

an app. Like sometimes people will have a health app and it comes with

a coach that you can check in on. And then there's also things

like loss avoidance programs. Now a loss avoidance

program, this is where you put money on the line and if you don't

do the thing, you might lose your money or in some cases they actually

redirect your money to an organization you disagree with. So.

So maybe you do not share the same values. Maybe it's a different political opinion.

And so the idea of letting go of that money or

it going to a cause you don't like is actually going to be enough for

you. To follow through on the thing that you want. I have not tried this.

It sounds powerful, but it also sounds a little scary. And I have not tried

one of these. So those are kind of in the middle range, I would say,

with cost and structure. But what about the higher end of

more structure and usually higher cost or investment

involved. Now one would be an accountability cohort

where you specifically you are joining a group

together and saying, I am working on this and

this is, this could look like a check in, this could look like

co working, et cetera. But the idea is you have someone to report

to and say what you're planning to do and whether or not you did it.

And you're doing that together in a group. The next is if you're maybe

in group coaching where the focus isn't necessarily on

accountability, but you're in a group together who are all working

towards the same goal. And so you are working on

something, but it's not necessarily just about

did you do it or not. And this could be something like

even group personal training, for example, where there's a bunch of you together

and you're actually just showing up together and working on it. Or it could be

that you're in sort of a coaching program where maybe you're working on

mindset, but by showing up regularly, that's also going to help you to

follow through on the things you commit to. Then there's also a combo,

and I have both been in these and I've also run my own

where there is this combo of you get coaching

and you get the accountability. So it's not just saying whether or not you did

it. You're also getting support for the thing you're

actually doing. And then finally, the thing we usually think

about most is this idea of just one on one coach or

one on one trainer. The first example

that people tend to think of with any kind of external

accountability. So you picture your personal trainer. And I think

that's a really easy one for most people to

imagine because we think, okay, we're going to meet this

person, they're going to help me. And that's, that's what I think of. So if

you are working with a one on one coach, this is usually the highest level

you have that structure you are meeting on a regular basis and you're working

towards the things that matter. And usually a coach is also going to help

you to overcome some other things that are going on, which we will discuss

when it comes to the pivot. So

how do you choose the right one? Now, first I want you to

be realistic about your constraints. Do

you have the budget to invest in some of the higher cost

options? Maybe you really like that idea, but you have to

actually look at, is this within my budget? Also, do you have the

time required? Do you have the capacity, especially if there are live sessions?

And also does it fit in your schedule? So maybe you do actually have time

and money, but the time that they're meeting

or getting to the place, if you actually have to travel, can be an issue.

And so does it actually fit your schedule? Now, this is not

true in every case, but the investment you make into your

accountability can add another layer of

accountability. So when you're committing money or time, it

can act as a deeper level of commitment

and it can help you take the pursuit more seriously. For example, if you have

an accountability buddy and it's someone you know in your real life, you might be

more willing to kind of brush it off. Or if you didn't do it, you're

like, oh, sorry, that didn't happen because there's not a real deep

consequence. But when you do commit, especially money by,

but also your time, you put that on the line. It is this psychological

commitment and it also taps into that loss aversion. We don't

want to throw money away. Now, I say this works

much of the time, but there are occasions where maybe you've committed

money, you've signed up for a class or you've done something where you're going to

keep showing up. And you would be surprised the number of people who will just

say, oh, well, you know, they're still actually getting paid, so even if I don't

show up and then you can actually start to not show up and

we'll talk about what's going on there later. So after

constraints, you also want to think about just straight up

preferences. Are you someone who prefers one on one? Do

you like actually being in a group where you're working on something, moving

towards something together? And what kind of people do you

gravitate towards? Are you better with live

meetups? Are you someone who really likes a more asynchronous kind of check

in? Don't ignore your preferences because

your willingness to participate is a really big

factor in whether this is going to be effective for you as a

form of external accountability. And finally,

what is available to you right now? So you might love the idea of

a group program or working with a coach or training, but

can you join right now? So is this actually viable? You

might have to wait a little bit until you can actually participate in something.

And if you want a combination of coaching and accountability,

is there someone who has the relevant expertise you need?

If we think of the idea of a personal trainer, my hope is they are

a certified coach and they actually have all of the credentials they

need so that you can have an effective program. You're not just showing

up to the gym, you're also safe. Same thing goes though for other things.

I've talked to people who've hired coaches to write a book.

Are they just doing accountability or do they actually also have expertise

in helping you to publish a book? So you want to do your research

and figure out what the ideal situation is

and if what you want is not available right now, what is the

next best option for you? And I would say once you've

narrowed down your options, it's helpful to pick a timeline.

Actually, two reasons to pick a timeline. One, pick a timeline for

how much time you'll give yourself to research and then just make a decision.

Because you can just find yourself week after week thinking about

what might be a good option and not actually doing it. So give yourself a

timeline to make a decision, but then give yourself a timeline for how

long you are willing to try this approach. You're not

making a lifelong commitment here. So decide at the start

how long you're going to try this before you decide if

this is really a good fit or not. And I encourage you to try at

least three weeks, if not longer, to give it a go. Especially

if there are relationships involved. There's just a natural. Anytime

there's a group dynamic or one on one dynamic, it can take

time. They call it forming. When you look at the research

around group dynamics and that forming period,

there is this initial. It might be awkward on the first few calls, but then

you start to get into the rhythm. Now,

when it comes to fit, it is helpful to ask yourself, when

will I know if it's time to pivot? So it would

seem like the most obvious sign is if you're not

doing the thing you say you're going to do. So you're not following through on

the things you said you would. That's the purpose of accountability, is so that

you show up and you do the thing you said. However, as

you know, if you've been following me for any length of time,

that does not necessarily mean that it's the accountability

that's not working. External accountability

is a strategy to overcome a biological

roadblock. So that's why it's really important to ask yourself

why you are not following through. Are you actually

stuck and not taking action because of a logical roadblock? Maybe

you're missing information, you're missing skills, or you don't have a plan for how

you're going to implement this. If that's the case, you're going to lack clarity

and you're missing some pieces. So until you put those pieces in place, you can't

expect the accountability to work. Or are you

facing a psychological roadblock? You're hesitating to

take action because you're trying to avoid taking or avoid

a negative outcome. And I know this has happened to me where I

am showing up to calls and people are asking, did you do the thing you

said you would do? And I'm not. And it's not because of the accountability.

It's because of a psychological roadblock. I was hesitating and I was

afraid to take action. So the main thing is,

do not assume right away that it's the accountability that's

the issue. So before you pivot, really think about

why you're not following through. That being said,

sometimes it's the accountability. So if you feel ignored,

disrespected or unsafe, absolutely, get out of there.

That's definitely pivot. If anyone is just making you feel like

you should not be here, you are dreading checking in

because of the people that are involved. Those are really strong signs that this

is not a good fit for you. Now, if it's too

loose, meaning no one's really taking it seriously, then

it's not going to be effective and it's definitely worth trying. Another option.

First, you could try addressing it and saying, hey, are people really

invested in this? Because I really care about

this. And if people aren't going to take it seriously, or if this is not

as important for others, let's just make sure we're on the same page. You might

not feel comfortable actually saying that, but if there's an option to say it,

bring it up, because it's possible other people are feeling that too. And if

it's not, then it's probably a good sign to try something else.

Honestly, when it comes to external accountability, it can feel like

you are Goldilocks and you are trying all these different things

and nothing quite fits. And it can be really, really

frustrating when these attempts don't work out, especially if you invest time

and you've tried it for a few weeks, or you've gone out of your way

to try and set something up and you felt hopeful and it fell through. I

have experienced that on many occasions. But

if you were someone like me who is just more likely to

follow through when there's external accountability. Please don't give up.

It really can make a difference and it can help

you to find and keep your momentum.