Dear listener: I decided to drop this episode RAW on the eve of the actual release date because I believe it stands alone: no intro or outro, or theme music needed. Just a 20 minute trip to one of the most misunderstood, forgotten, and ignored places in the world: Beirut.

A large part of Episode 5 was written in October 2022. I had just returned from spending three nights in Beirut on September 12. I went to Lebanon for real conversations with hip hop artists in their safe houses, where they live and create. I didn't want to be another voice in a sea of entertainment reporters. When I I came home, all I had were some ideas and dozens of hours of audio.

The day I wrote what became “the Manara monologue” I had started writing bullet points about my driver and sidekick, Saleh, trying to recall everything I could about him. And a monologue several pages long began to flow. Then I recorded myself reading it to friends and collaborators. 

They all said the same thing: don't be afraid to include your voice in the story. I appreciated the idea but never wanted to hear myself on this podcast in any substantive way.

In the end I was too tired to fight the idea of letting myself be heard on the podcast. And in April 2023/Ramadan 1443, with my 40th birthday 2 months away I decided the "Manara monologue" would be Episode 1. 

My idea was to release a series of mini episodes: raw, distilled, no frills. In other words, a mix tape.

My goal was to drop the Safe House Travel Diary by my 40th birthday, to let the end of my 30s mark the end of living with people pleasing, insecurity, and fear. This meant building the whole communications infrastructure around the podcast, learning the business of podcasting, sharpening my editing skills beyond making family videos on iMovie, and writing the damn scripts while including bite sized pieces of information about the current crisis in Lebanon, recording the voice over, mixing in sound bites from the salvaged audio I recorded in Lebanon, and cutting in Lebanese rap music from specific eras that are thematically or topically linked to what's going on in that episode (with permission from the artists). Lastly, I had to make sure it all made sense. Nonetheless we got here and my 40th bday was a triumph over a lifelong battle of perfectionism coupled with debilitating ADHD.

As I got to work I realized the "Manara monologue" needed a preface. I wrote "Daydream in Istanbul," episode 1. But I realized even with that preface, there was more to establish before getting into the Manara part. And alas, MANARA ended being episode 5.

Even with it coming so late in the season, episode five of seven, this episode represents the heart and soul of my vision for The Safe House Travel Diary: a window into life in Lebanon in September 2022 through conversations with the people living there about hip hop and other things. As you're getting to know these folks: Roro, Saleh, Moustafa, Chyno, Ziggy, and Aladin amongst others, you're getting to know Lebanon. And their stories are learning opportunities that I try to provide the background for in the plainest terms. This episode is also special to me because the "Manara monologue" that centers around is the creative spark that makes The Safe House what it is; according to Kendrick Lamar, a place to "vent all my truths." 

I hope you enjoy listening to it!

Peace and love,

Soha

Ps. Music from Episode 5 MANARA is by:

• Chyno with a Why?
• Soap Kills
• Ghoraba2
• Bu Nasser Touffar
• Ghassan Rahbeneh