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This one's for anyone who's ever seen a certain name pop up on their phone
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and suddenly remembered they had somewhere else to be, even if that
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somewhere was just under a blanket. Let's be
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honest, sometimes it's not deep trauma or spiritual warfare,
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it's just a personality clash with someone who makes small talk feel
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like a hostage situation. Imagine someone signs up to drop
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off groceries as part of a care initiative. The recipient opens the
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door, critiques the bag packing, and asks if if next time they could bring the
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good yogurt. Nothing tests the fruit of the spirit like being
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micromanaged at the door with arms full of apples. Welcome
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to Messy Advice for People Who Care, a summer series from Journey with Care for
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anyone who's ever felt called to serve someone they wouldn't exactly invite
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to game night. We're talking about caregiving, boundaries, burnout, and
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the not so clear moments of loving others well minus the
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formulas. This is Johan on the edge of helpful
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reminding you that loving your enemies was a command,
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not a suggestion for people in better moods. This one digs
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into a tension we all face at some point. What you do in
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the care God calls you to costs more than what you wanna
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give. Let's get right into the question. I know we're
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supposed to love our neighbors, but what if I just don't like them?
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Is it still love if I'm doing it out of obedience and not emotion?
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That's a brutally honest question, and it hits a nerve, doesn't it?
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Because most of us have someone we love mostly because
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Jesus told us to. According to a 2023
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survey from the Canada Center for Caregiving Excellence, fifty two
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percent of caregivers said one of the most difficult parts of
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caregiving is dealing with challenging personalities.
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Translation, you're not a bad Christian. You're a normal
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human with preferences, boundaries, and one last
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nerve. So if it's hard to care when your heart's not in
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it, you're not alone. But maybe that's exactly when love
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becomes something deeper. Sometimes loving your
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neighbor looks less like feelings and more like,
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lord, help me not roll my eyes while I fill this coffee.
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Imagine this. You've just finished a long week. You're tired,
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overstimulated, and your people pleasing reserves are running
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on fumes. Then you see the text, hey. Can we
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talk? From that person, the one who always needs
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more than you have. Your stomach drops. Your brain
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starts drafting a polite no, but your spirit whispers,
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be present. And you sit, you listen,
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you love imperfectly, but truly. Now
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let's get into some scripture. Let's get biblical.
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Biblical. We're gonna talk about Jonah. You all know
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the story. The guy gets a direct call from God.
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Go to Nineveh and share my message. And Jonah's
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like, cool, cool, cool. Or I could sail in the
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exact opposite direction. He wasn't confused.
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He just didn't like the people. He didn't want them to
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experience grace. He thought they didn't deserve it.
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After a bit of fish related character development, Jonah
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finally goes. But even when Nineveh responds and repents,
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he's mad. He says, I knew you'd forgive them. That's
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why I ran. And god responds with, not a
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lecture, but a question. Shouldn't I care about
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them too? Here's the thing. Jonah
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obeyed, eventually, but he never softened.
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His heart was still closed even while his feet walked in the right
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direction. And that's the warning and the grace. You
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can do the right thing with a reluctant heart, but god's
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always inviting us to something deeper than duty. He doesn't
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just want our help. He doesn't even need our help, but he
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wants our hearts to learn how to hold tension even when
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love feels hard. So if you're loving someone who grates on
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your nerves, congrats. You're living the gospel.
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You're living the way God wants you to live. Don't wait for
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those warm feelings. Start with presence.
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Ask God to do what only he can, soften your edges and remind
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you that you are someone he loves even on your most
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difficult days. And, hey, you might even be that person someone
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finds difficult to love but does anyway. If this hits a little
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close to home, it's okay. Hard love doesn't mean fake love. It
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just means that you're growing and that we have capacity to grow
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in the love that god has called us to. It's an invitation.
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If you got questions like this or if you're wrestling with things like this,
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join our Care Impact podcast group on Facebook and join a group
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of like minded people asking the same questions. And until next time,
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keep loving, keep laughing, and if you ever smiled while
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muting their call, you're still on the journey, and always
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remember to stay curious.
