Shownotes
What if the biggest obstacle to getting the help you need isn't your body, but the belief that you have to earn it?
Even therapists struggle with shame, self-doubt, and asking for help. In this episode of the BariNation Foundation Podcast, April sits down with longtime therapist and BariNation supporter Lora Grabow, who shares her own journey through menopause, unexpected health changes, and the difficult decision to begin GLP-1 treatment. Despite decades of helping others heal their relationship with food, Lora discovered she had been holding herself to a different standard, believing she needed to "work harder" before deserving treatment. Together, April and Lora discuss the damaging myths surrounding obesity, menopause, self-worth, and medical care while exploring why community, self-compassion, and evidence-based treatment are essential for lasting health.
This conversation is a powerful reminder that you don't have to suffer in silence, you don't have to earn help, and hope begins the moment you allow yourself to receive the support you deserve.
What You Will Learn in this Episode:
Why obesity is a chronic disease, not a personal failing, and why that reframe lifts shame around GLP-1 weight loss
How menopause weight gain can stall even the healthiest habits, and why biology, not effort, is often the real barrier
Why self-compassion, not self-criticism, is the tool that actually leads to lasting behavior change
How community support helps people move past the belief that they must earn help before accepting it
This episode of the BariNation Podcast is produced by the BariNation Foundation, a 501 (c) (3) dedicated to advancing metabolic wellness for people living with obesity by providing evidence-based education, stigma-free support, and meaningful connections in the moments that shape daily life. Funding is provided by the generous donations to the BariNation Foundation from listeners and viewers like you, Johnson & Johnson, and the Texas Center for Bariatrics & Advanced Surgery, led by Dr. Joe Cribbins.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Lora Grabow discusses her two decades in weight management and therapy
06:16 April sets the stage: doing everything right without results
07:48 Lora explains obesity as a chronic disease, not a decision
08:17 Lora shares her menopause weight gain and hormone therapy story
12:17 The friend who asked why Lora wasn't starting a GLP-1
17:15 Unpacking the belief that you must earn help before treatment and the power of community
26:48 Finding safe support in virtual spaces; April shares a personal story
31:20 How are we talking to ourselves and having self-compassion
41:57 Lora reflects on hope, healing, and life after starting Zepbound
46:04 Why it took Lora so long to go on a GLP-1, the many benefits of the drug
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
Shame keeps people stuck. Self-compassion is what actually opens the door to change.
Obesity is a chronic relapsing disease, and no one should have to manage it alone.
GLP-1 medications, like other metabolic wellness tools, aren't something you have to "earn."
ABOUT THE GUEST:
Lora Grabow, LMSW, is an obesity medicine therapist, coach, and professional speaker with over 20 years of experience working with patients in obesity medicine. Lora helps patients discover the missing piece of their treatment plan: A piece she calls Headwork™.
She is the owner of a thriving private practice serving patients affected by obesity. Her expertise includes providing individual therapy and 1:1 coaching, facilitating support groups, and engaging patients in her online course, Foundations in Headwork for Healthy Weight Loss. She is an active leader in the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery. (ASMBS) She is a sought-after podcast guest and speaker at national provider and patient obesity medicine conferences.
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
BariNation Community - $19 a month
BariNation’s How to Find an Obesity Specialist Guide
Transcripts
April Williams: Yeah.
d you know in BariNation I'm [:You-
April Williams: Mm-hmm ...
ou don't earn help. We don't [:April Williams: Welcome to the BariNation podcast, [00:00:35] a production of the BariNation Foundation.
iving our pillars: movement, [:Natalie Tierney: Four pillars, one mission.[00:00:45]
We're so glad you're here
April Williams: Hi, [:But today, Laura isn't here as an expert. [00:01:10] She's here as a patient. Menopause changed her body, and even with all of her knowledge, [00:01:15] she was doing everything right and nothing was working. What she discovered was a hidden [00:01:20] belief so many of us carry, the belief that we have to earn our help [00:01:25] This conversation is about shame, hope, and the moment someone who loves you [00:01:30] asks the question that changes everything.
nk you to Johnson & Johnson, [:Lora Grabow: let's dive in.
s. Welcome back to the show. [:Hi, friend.
w: Hello. It's so good to be [:April Williams: I'm so excited to see you. Uh, we have had a lot of conversations [00:02:00] about what this topic is about today. Uh, before we dive in, though, will you introduce yourself [00:02:05] to our friends that don't know you yet?
ely. So thank you for having [:As you mentioned, I've been with BariNation from the beginning, so of course I've [00:02:25] supported bariatric surgery patients. I support now GLP-1 patients. But I was [00:02:30] supporting medical weight loss two decades ago.
April Williams: Yes.
you may be like, "Well, what [:Like, so [00:02:40] many of your listeners probably remember that. But, um, I worked here in Grand [00:02:45] Rapids, Michigan, for a medical and surgical weight loss clinic that knew the importance of what I call [00:02:50] head work and behavior change and mindset. Mm-hmm. And that's been my passion [00:02:55] because whoever, right, whether you're bariatric surgery, GLP-1 [00:03:00] patient, woman in midlife, we all need to work on our relationship with food.
And so I do that a [:I speak at patient [00:03:25] events, provider events. I have my own online course. Any way I can come [00:03:30] alongside and give our patients the tools they need to be [00:03:35] successful. But I think, I think it's important, um, recently, and we'll [00:03:40] get more into this, um, I realized I think there's more people I can [00:03:45] reach. And- Mm-hmm
e to be medical and surgical [:So-
April Williams: Yes.
Lora Grabow: Oh ... a little bit about me.
April Williams: I, [:People will often ask me, like, "Well, how'd you figure that out?" [00:04:45] BariNation. It's because I went to groups, it's because I listened to Laura, I listened to our other therapist, [00:04:50] and I had the safe place to practice them. And, yeah, truly, if it wasn't for you, if it wasn't [00:04:55] for BariNation, I wouldn't be where I am today, and I know thousands of other people are probably nodding, going, [00:05:00] "Mm-hmm," because that's how big of an impact you've had on, on the world.
So thank you.
Lora Grabow: That [:April Williams: Yep. Yep. It, it's hope, and it's really kind of starting to become mine and, [00:05:20] and that of the BariNation Foundation. And today's conversation is actually [00:05:25] grounded in that.
ends, I'm just gonna let you [:Lora Grabow: No, [00:05:40] you believe it?
can, but I can't, 'cause we [:S- so there's kind of the stage. So e- enjoy, friends. Make yourself a cup of tea. Gr- [00:06:10] grab your water. We are gonna have a, a real conversation here. L- [00:06:15] and I wanna set the stage. So you know that I have done [00:06:20] everything right in my bariatric obesity journey, in my health journey, right? I [00:06:25] have lived the pillars.
tabolic wellness. I tap into [:Why is this not reflecting that?
Lora Grabow: [:April Williams: And I know everybody watching and listening is going, "Mm-hmm," because we have [00:06:55] felt that way or we currently feel that way. You recently have [00:07:00] experienced something similar Yes ... and that's, and that's where we're gonna start [00:07:05] this conversation. So if you feel comfortable, will you share?
bow: Absolutely. Absolutely. [:April Williams: Mm-hmm.
: Right? You... Obesity is a [:April Williams: Mm-hmm ...
Lora Grabow: there's a tool out there to treat it?"
Yeah. There's [:And I noticed that, um, my [00:08:45] body just started not feeling like my own. Mm-hmm. That [00:08:50] so many of you have shared your stories where you said, "Inside me and outside me weren't matching," and I [00:08:55] was doing all the right things. Mm-hmm. And I've noticed what people call the menopause middle [00:09:00] start coming, like I was gaining weight.
"What is going on?" I am an [:So I've been on a GLP-1. I [00:09:30] have been taking Zepbound, and I am so excited, but there was quite a [00:09:35] process to getting there, so I'm glad we can have a conversation about this.
liams: I'm, I'm so thankful, [:Lora Grabow: Yes.
April Williams: Right? [:Or, "What is [00:10:15] next," right? And, and have these conversations. And that's the part of hope [00:10:20] that people sometimes need help connecting with.
Natalie Tierney: Mm-hmm.
right, and the fact that you [:So will you share with us how did you go from where you were to where you are [00:10:40] today, now?
So it was quite the process. [:Um, I was... My husband and I are, you know, on our TV when it goes into whatever [00:11:05] screensaver mode, it's, like, our camera roll pictures. And I saw a picture of [00:11:10] myself that I didn't like, and I immediately had the stinkin' thinkin' that says, was, "Ew, [00:11:15] you look so fat." And then I was mad at myself that I had that thought because I'm like, [00:11:20] "Laura, you don't talk to yourself like that.
Like, you have, like, [:And, um, I had been talking [00:11:50] about I don't recognize my body anymore. Like-
April Williams: Mm ...
Lora Grabow: this isn't me. [:affirmation, in my counseling sessions, at, you know, patient [00:12:15] retreat events And [00:12:20] I was sitting there, I have a friend, and that could be a whole nother podcast. I think we need to schedule time [00:12:25] with our friends on a regular basis. We get together for morning breakfast the [00:12:30] first Friday of every month, and I was talking to her again about, [00:12:35] "I don't know what the heck's going on with my body, but it is not playing by the same rules.
Like, everything [:Like, why aren't I starting a [00:13:10] GLP-1?
April Williams: Mm-hmm.
and I love that I get to be [:You haven't earned this help yet. GLP-1s [00:13:35] are for your patients who have the disease of obesity. [00:13:40] They're not for someone like you in midlife. Like, you know what to do, just pull [00:13:45] yourself up by the bootstraps and just do it harder. And [00:13:50] that is what I call we need stinkin' thinkin'. Mm-hmm. And what we talk about at BariNation, I need to catch, check, [00:13:55] and change it, change it.
And it's like, yeah, why, [:And guess what? They don't... It doesn't work.
April Williams: [:Lora Grabow: Where women have been told, "Well, just eat less, move more. Eat less, move more." [00:14:25] And when I had that first appointment with my obesity medicine specialist [00:14:30] about going on the GLP-1, and it took courage to make that appointment, like, oh, is he gonna say [00:14:35] I'm not big enough or you don't need it?
No. [:April Williams: [00:14:55] Yes. Yes. Mm-hmm But [00:15:00]
Lora Grabow: there's the hope.
April Williams: Yes. The-
Lora Grabow: Right? He said, [:April Williams: Mm-hmm.
got a lot going on, right?" [:April Williams: Yes. Yes. A- and I, I think [00:15:30] what, what hangs people up when it comes to, to obesity treatment is [00:15:35] they look at what they've been doing, and they can say with fidelity, "I, I am doing everything.
I, I don't [:Yeah. Because as soon as ... Right? As soon as you do that, all of a sudden your [00:16:05] workouts are actually doing what you think they're going to do. Your nutrition is [00:16:10] doing what you think it's gonna do. It, it's like the, the disease, menopause, [00:16:15] aging, it just acts as a barrier to all the things that you're doing, right?
So you've gotten [:And once you do, [00:16:35] now everything is going to work in synergy. Everything is going to [00:16:40] be, uh, functioning at, at the, at the highest level. But it's so hard to believe [00:16:45] that- Mm-hmm ... because you've told yourself or you've been told by society then ... for y- your entire life, "Oh, [00:16:50] this is, this is all you. This is 100% in your control."
It's not.
Lora Grabow: [:Like, help me understand this disconnect [00:17:15] here. If we really... You know, I spend so much time helping all of you [00:17:20] identify your sabotaging thought, your stinking thinking, your negative [00:17:25] beliefs. When I really spent time trying to figure out what was at the base of that, [00:17:30] it was I had to earn my help.
April Williams: Yeah.
Lora Grabow: And [:You-
April Williams: Mm-hmm ...
Lora Grabow: you don't [:Natalie Tierney: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
ora Grabow: Our brain is not [:April Williams: Mm-hmm.
thought that said, "You must [:April Williams: Yeah.
ou, April. No. You said I've [:April Williams: Yeah.
really had to catch, check, [:I didn't like not seeing how I looked in pictures. And I think [00:18:30] both can be true. Like, I'm not all about the scale. [00:18:35] Yeah. But I also wanna feel healthy and confident in my body.
April Williams: Yeah. [:[00:18:50] Whereas before bariatric surgery, before treatment, I, it's, I did the same. I, I looked at my neck up. I [00:18:55] did not see me. It was like I, I, I was so in [00:19:00] pain, and I was so frustrated. I was so all the things that I, I just, I didn't see [00:19:05] myself. Yeah. And treatment gives you the power to reconnect with yourself, to [00:19:10] see yourself again, to know that you are worthy just because you are human and, and you're [00:19:15] living.
of work to get there. And if [:[00:19:35] You've been doing this forever, and you have these exact same thoughts.
Lora Grabow: Oh, [:April Williams: Right? So th- this is the, this is a human [00:19:45] thing. But like you said, it doesn't mean that it's a great thing for, for humans. You [00:19:50] needed somebody in your community to kindly and compassionately ask you, "Well, why, [00:19:55] why not you?"
hat could be right for you?" [:Lora Grabow: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. [00:20:05] Yeah, I think You know, we were chatting about this a little bit [00:20:10] before we popped on that, you know, you're like, "Well, how do we get unstuck [00:20:15] sooner," right? Yeah. 'Cause I could have feel like it has been [00:20:20] almost, well, yeah, about a year and a half, right?
And even before my [:[00:20:50] To... You know, I'm glad that friend didn't say, "Well, why [00:20:55] aren't you on a GLP-1?" It wasn't judgy. It was-
Natalie Tierney: Mm-hmm ...
abow: like, "Laura, you help [:April Williams: Yes.
it, because I was doing the [:I have worked in weight management. I know the biology. I [00:21:15] know the psychology. I know what to do. I... If anyone can figure it out, I can figure it [00:21:20] out. I got all the resources."
April Williams: Mm-hmm.
for some reason, I thought I [:April Williams: Yeah. Yep.
Lora Grabow: And
Williams: there- Well, you, [:Lora Grabow: Yeah. And-
April Williams: Yeah. I mean, all, all those words, "I should have done this.
I need to work harder. [:Ever.
one is shamed into behavior [:April Williams: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
e didn't should in our home, [:And I see that happen in BariNation groups all the [00:22:35] time. All the
e watching and listening who [:And I know the answer to this, but [00:22:55] right, Laura, is it, are we capable of finding and [00:23:00] cultivating those kinds of relationships in an online environment?
Lora Grabow: [:April Williams: Yep.
ora Grabow: And the sense of [:Yeah. And, and this is protecting confidentiality because this theme comes up all the time in [00:23:25] probably every BariNation group, stress eating.
April Williams: Mm-hmm.
Lora Grabow: Right? Yes. [:April Williams: Mm-hmm.
That's the antidote to shame [:That's what I love about BariNation groups is we don't just stay stuck in problem. Like-
April Williams: Yes ...
Lora Grabow: we [:April Williams: Yep.
But this person, the person, [:April Williams: Mm-hmm
Lora Grabow: Like, we're all [:April Williams: Mm-hmm
had- Mm-hmm ... the courage. [:And that's what happens when you have community, like empathy. Yeah. In that [00:25:10] group last night, she said, "I've been there, too, and look [00:25:15] what you did. Look at the courage it took to come and to talk about this." [00:25:20] And I think that answers your question [00:25:25] because I will also do it on my BariNation groups, "What are you taking away?"
And that person who shared [:April Williams: Mm-hmm. "
Grabow: What I'm taking away [:And [00:25:50] that's amazing, right? Yep. Like, I just sit back... In fact, I said [00:25:55] in a group, one of my groups this week, I'm like, "Okay, we just c- we just experienced [00:26:00] community as treatment in action," right? Like- Yes ... this, this is what it is.
April Williams: Yes. [:Lora Grabow: Yes. And that's what my good friend reflected back to me because, you know, the part of the [00:26:10] conversations I didn't share was her saying, "Me too," and, you know, "At midlife, my body [00:26:15] changed, and it's really hard," and, you know, "You don't have to suffer," [00:26:20] which, again, goes back to you feel like you need to earn help, and I just have to suffer a little bit more.[00:26:25]
April Williams: Yeah.
h to me that I couldn't even [:April Williams: A- and again, the, the power of having people in our [00:26:35] lives who are looking at us, not through us, not [00:26:40] around us, right? They're looking at us and they're listening to us. And this [00:26:45] is a skill that doesn't exist in every community or in every friend group, right?
Some people are there [:And it can be [00:27:15] hard to find safe places in our life where you kind of have those [00:27:20] ingredients, right, to make that perfect space for you.
Lora Grabow: Mm-hmm.
nd I think that's one of the [:Everybody that leads in [00:27:35] our community understands those ingredients. They know what needs to be present [00:27:40] for people to, to feel safe, to, to feel seen, right, to be able to, like, bring up [00:27:45] that struggle. That's a skill, and that has to be taught. It has to be [00:27:50] cultivated. It has to be checked constantly.
Lora Grabow: Mm-hmm.
hink it's one of the biggest [:Lora Grabow: Mm-hmm. Um,
I, I'll share a story. I, I [:A- and I popped into your group because I was struggling and I knew BariNation [00:28:35] was a safe place for me. And I said, "You know what? Um, I think I'm really fearful [00:28:40] that he's gonna lose more weight than me. He's gonna be more successful than me, right? He's gonna [00:28:45] look good, and all of a sudden, I'm not as appealing to [00:28:50] him."
Jason Smith: Mm.
in, in your group. And what [:Natalie Tierney: Mm-hmm. "
April Williams: Let's not [:Mm-hmm. Because when it lives in [00:29:20] space, it becomes real. And when something becomes real, we can [00:29:25] see it for what it is, and we can start to game plan. We can start to talk about it. We can [00:29:30] start to, like, put it in context of our actual life. And that [00:29:35] gift was what helped me move on to a place of being [00:29:40] excited for him and, and, and hopeful and all these things.
I still don't have a little [:Lora Grabow: Right. There you go. Right? Look at that [00:30:00] communication.
Mm-hmm.
mportant to call out because [:If, if we're tired of, of sitting, sitting where we are, if [00:30:30] we're tired of being stuck, if we feel like we're banging our head against the wall, is there a more efficient [00:30:35] way to move from feeling stuck to making a decision and taking our [00:30:40] lives in a different direction?
ah. I think it's, again, you [:Um, and [00:30:50] hands down, BariNation is a really special community, right? And so... [00:30:55] And what I also love is they're so welcoming. Our members aren't like, "Oh, [00:31:00] I don't want anyone to know this. It's, you know, you know, I don't want this to grow." Yeah. You are [00:31:05] so welcomed when- Yeah ... you come to a group, and you're gonna experience feeling seen, [00:31:10] heard, validated, known right away.
hat's the first one, is have [:April Williams: Yes. Mm-hmm.
d so all of us, including me [:Natalie Tierney: Yeah.
abow: And beating themselves [:Mm-mm. [00:31:55] Not going to work. Mm-mm. And so much of my work with others and now my [00:32:00] work with myself is having self-compassion, right? So if we go back to the [00:32:05] catch, check, and change, catch that thought, like, "Well, I jud- I should just [00:32:10] be," and replace it with, what would I say to a good friend? And even [00:32:15] before that, like, just to quickly walk you through a self-compassion model- [00:32:20] Back to my, um, journey with menopause and the unexpected [00:32:25] hysterectomy and the weight gain, it was if I would, and [00:32:30] I have done this, but self-compassion, you know, the, the critical was [00:32:35] you need to get it together.
access. What's going on? But [:April Williams: I l- ... put my
Lora Grabow: hand on my [:In your body, your scale's going up and you don't like yourself [00:33:00] in pictures anymore, and now you're, you're being mean to yourself in your head and you know [00:33:05] that's not you. Like, that's hard. So you, you validate it for yourself, [00:33:10] and then you say, "There's other people who find this hard, too." So [00:33:15] there's that community piece, and there was another piece, 'cause I also heard from a good friend, and this really [00:33:20] resonated with me.
Substack, but I knew it even [:April Williams: Mm.
Lora Grabow: And I'm [:April Williams: Mm-hmm.
back to the self-compassion, [:There's other people [00:33:45] out there in midlife who feel the same way as I do. Mm-hmm. I'm not alone. There's other [00:33:50] people who believe it's okay to wanna feel at home in your body [00:33:55] again. Yeah. And then the third one is what I already mentioned, how would I [00:34:00] talk to a good friend?
April Williams: Yeah.
Lora Grabow: And you would never be like, "Just get it together.
[:April Williams: Yeah. "
Lora Grabow: [:April Williams: Yeah. Yes.
w: Right? Yep. And so we ha- [:And people say, "Oh, that's just letting me off the hook." [00:34:30] No. Self-compassion is about how you... I don't even like the word hook, but if we [00:34:35] really wanted to use that, self-compassion is how you hold yourself on the hook, [00:34:40] right? Right. Do you hold yourself with shame, or do you give yourself some self-compassion?
And when [:April Williams: Yeah. At
Lora Grabow: all level.
ms: Why is it so hard for us [:Lora Grabow: Because I think not only do we think we need to earn help, I think people, we think [00:35:30] that we have a...
So back to our thoughts we have in our brain that aren't true.
April Williams: Um, okay. [:Lora Grabow: That asking for help is a weakness.
April Williams: Yeah.
Lora Grabow: Asking for help is a strength.
April Williams: Yes.
Lora Grabow: [:April Williams: No. [00:35:50]
Lora Grabow: No.
You need a treatment team.
April Williams: Mm-hmm. [:Lora Grabow: Period. Period.
April Williams: Yeah. [:Lora Grabow: Yes.
requires medical treatment. [:I am... We are both pulling all those [00:36:20] levers. But sometimes those levers don't open up the, the floodgate all the way, right? [00:36:25] What we need is that outside piece. That is the piece that opens all the levers and allows [00:36:30] everything to flow. Right. That's it. Right. That's it. [00:36:35]
Lora Grabow: Right.
Natalie Tierney: We're gonna pause here and say some thank
cause without the support of [:Joe [00:36:45] Cribbins, this episode might not be reaching you. Their support is ensuring that [00:36:50] these conversations find the people who need them when they need them most. A big thank you to [00:36:55] Johnson & Johnson and Dr. Joe for your
o the BariNation Foundation. [:April Williams: I've been talking about this so much with our transition, so, right, Ba- you know, BariNation r- recently became a, [00:37:05] a nonprofit.
And for y- Which I'm
Lora Grabow: so excited
o excited about. Oh, my God. [:[00:37:25] We were swimming upstream. And some days we were losing ground. Mm-hmm. A- and I feel like [00:37:30] many of us in this space feel like that way. I'm swimming so hard. I am fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting, [00:37:35] fighting, right? But nothing you do seems to be, be, be making it, because you're [00:37:40] continually looking back inside at the very same things.
But as soon as you make [:[00:38:00] Things just click. Things feel better. Mm-hmm. And it's not that it's gonna be absolutely easy ahead. It's not. You're [00:38:05] still swimming. But instead of fighting against something, you are now rolling, you [00:38:10] are going with it, and that feels good.
Lora Grabow: Yes. [:he's like, [00:38:20] "Well, what you're gonna notice is what you're doing is gonna work."
April Williams: Yes. Yes.
Lora Grabow: [:So we'll talk about my work with people with obesity. "If I [00:38:45] do all the head work, do you really think I still need the surgery?" And my answer is [00:38:50] 1000% yes. And they look at me surprised, and I'm like, "Head [00:38:55] work doesn't change your biology." Right? The, the CBT tools I'm gonna [00:39:00] help you with and teach you are helpful, but they can't treat the [00:39:05] biology.
d same that I've now learned [:April Williams: Yep And I love it ... and I, [00:39:25] oh, there is no better feeling... Well, I mean, uh, there are really great [00:39:30] feelings, and one of them o- on, in our human experience is feeling at home in your body, right?
Feeling [:And once I discovered that, I've [00:40:05] realized I've become fiercely, um, protective of, of me and [00:40:10] how I feel and that connection I have.
Natalie Tierney: Mm-hmm.
you start treatment and once [:But [00:40:25] the path back to you, uh, really is about, it's about hope. [00:40:30] It's about acknowledging what we're saying to ourselves that, that is not true. Uh, looking [00:40:35] outside of ourselves, right, for some additional support. Continuing to do all the things that we've already [00:40:40] been doing that we know, uh, are helping, we're just not seeing the results yet.
Mm-hmm. And all, all [:Lora Grabow: Yeah. And I experience the same thing so many of my [00:40:55] patients experience is like, "Well, why didn't I do this sooner?" Yeah. Like, how will we take the [00:41:00] step? It's like, what? And I think it's important to [00:41:05] share how people responded and I, and I, I, you know, I can't wait to hear how people [00:41:10] respond, you know, who are listening to this GLP-1.
know, or this episode that I [:Yes. And [00:41:40] I was just so thankful for that experience.
... and, and that was really [:Lora Grabow: Mm-hmm. I think we have to go back to that word hope. [00:42:00] I feel a lot of hope. Yeah. Um, because I [00:42:05] am starting to feel at home in my body again. Um, just [00:42:10] physically, I immediately felt, how would I describe it? Lighter, and, and [00:42:15] the scale hadn't even moved, or less puffy. And I think that's- Mm-hmm ... what I understand [00:42:20] as the decrease of inflammation in my body.
with Crohn's disease, which [:Mm-hmm. Um, so I [00:42:40] immediately felt a shift with the inflammation being down. Like, I'd never... Like, it's almost [00:42:45] like you don't know how sick you are till you're better, right? [00:42:50] Yes. So I say that often, or, like, how much a headache was hurting you until it was gone. Yeah. And so it was the [00:42:55] same thing. Like, oh, I guess I did have some inflammation I wasn't really aware of.
You [:Yeah. I'm excited to see where this goes and, [00:43:20] um, yeah, I feel, I feel great. And I feel like, you know, in [00:43:25] that first appointment with my obesity medicine provider, when he said, "Well, what are you gonna [00:43:30] notice? You're gonna notice what you're doing is working."
April Williams: Yeah.
Lora Grabow: So I'm [:It, it is [00:43:40] working. And, um, I know it's gonna continue to work." Um, [00:43:45] and yeah, I recently announced it on my Substack, um, [00:43:50] went- Mm-hmm ... Substack, um, a few weeks ago, and that's been great. People have [00:43:55] been, um, reacting just really positively and kindly. So I guess I reflect that back to [00:44:00] you, like, what did you think?
who has worked with you as a [:April Williams: I did. I did. I, I, I got to read the article early. [00:44:20] And you and I started having conversations about this maybe a year ago, right?
Like, I- Yeah ... I was [:Great." Like, "Tell me all about it." Yeah, I mean, it, it [00:44:50] was never, like, a ... I, I, I guess I, I just understand the power of [00:44:55] that medication far beyond the lens of I think what most people see it as. Like, most people [00:45:00] see it as a way to lose weight. I understand that it, it, it is a medication that, that, [00:45:05] that i- impacts us in so many different ways at the biological level, right?
So even if you don't appear [:Like, [00:45:30] I think you said, "Do, do you think I need to lose weight?" And I, I'm pretty sure I said, "It's got nothing [00:45:35] to do with your weight." Like, it ... If, if you're experiencing these things, if you're not feeling [00:45:40] comfortable, like something's going on, and I know that you're already doing everything. And probably the very next thing I [00:45:45] said was, "Have you talked to your doctor about it?"
. probably what it was. And, [:Lora Grabow: Yeah, [00:46:05] I think it was because, you know, I recently have just made this shift [00:46:10] of reaching out to midlife women and realizing [00:46:15] I have some tools to help anyone who's working on their health and wellness [00:46:20] journey.
cause so much of my work has [:Like, almost I didn't deserve it because I wasn't big enough. [00:46:50]
April Williams: Yeah.
Lora Grabow: Does that make sense? I'm just, I have-
April Williams: Oh, yep ...
Lora Grabow: never thought about that.
April Williams: Yep. Nope, [:Lora Grabow: Right? So even when you asked me, I was like ... [00:47:00] Or when I was, had some nervousness telling you that you've shared your struggle with me and for how long [00:47:05] it's been, and, and my struggle is not your struggle.
ver say I understand how you [:April Williams: I think it'd be an excellent topic. But what, but what you're describing, the words [00:47:30] that you just said, I think are, are the words that millions of people are, are, are thinking about, and it's [00:47:35] why they might have onboarded a medication, but they've told no one, right? Right. [00:47:40] Or, right? They, they continue to live in shame.
e to kind of live in silence [:Lora Grabow: Yes.
April Williams: We are, we are learning so much.
l them the, the skinny shot. [:April Williams: Yeah, right? Like, it has nothing to do with that. I mean, Dr. Cribbin's, on one of the podcast episodes we did [00:48:15] with him, he was like, "You know, weight loss is kind of like a happy side effect of bariatric surgery." And I was like- [00:48:20] Right
"No, bariatric surgery is a [:And the longer that I've gone in this [00:48:45] space, the further away from judgment I could get because I'm like, I don't care what anybody has to do [00:48:50] for, for their health. What I care about is that people understand that they're not comfortable, [00:48:55] that they would like some help, right? Reconnecting with themselves, with being their healthiest version of them.
How they [:Lora Grabow: Right.
April Williams: [:Lora Grabow: Right.
why I'm thankful you, you're [:And when we check that thought, right? When we, when we use the, [00:49:35] the tool that you teach all the time, catch it, check it, change it, right? Let me catch that thought. Is that true? Is that really what I'm [00:49:40] worried about? I- is that true? Oh, okay. Well, I need to change that [00:49:45] because if I stay living over here in this thought, I'm never gonna be able to [00:49:50] move on
Lora Grabow: Right.
to having a community where [:April Williams: Yes. [00:50:00]
- Yeah ... were for you. And [:I, I raised my daughters in a [00:50:10] scale-free home. It's, our bodies have never been about a number. It's about health. [00:50:15] But I wasn't gonna hide it, and I, I wasn't comfortable [00:50:20] physically in my body, but I also wasn't cover- comfortable emotionally and psychologically, 'cause I was starting to put [00:50:25] myself down, which is not where I live.
k on that through the years. [:Jason Smith: Yeah. [00:50:45]
Lora Grabow: There's no... I, I'm about... I'm a shame lifter.
t's my superpower. Like, I'm [:April Williams: [00:51:15] Yes. Yep. Well, and, uh, and the other piece that's so powerful to this, Laura, is y- [00:51:20] y- you're, you're not offering false hope that we're never gonna think these things, or we're [00:51:25] not gonna find ourselves in this thought pattern again. But what you are saying is that, right, th- [00:51:30] this is just how our brains are wired.
how they work. But there are [:Lora Grabow: Right. Right. Right.
April Williams: Right?
Lora Grabow: Yeah.
ms: That- Yep ... that's it. [:Lora Grabow: Wow.
April Williams: Oh my gosh.
ave covered a ton. I'm gonna [:And you connected with your community, [00:52:15] and you shared with them what you were feeling and what you were experiencing, and they reflected back to you [00:52:20] empathy, compassion, and understanding. So you were able to share those things in an environment where you [00:52:25] felt seen, you felt safe, right? It, it was a, it was an antidote to shame as you, [00:52:30] as you described it earlier.
nboarded care with a medical [:And you are publicly sharing this story because you know that it helps [00:52:55] you and it also helps other people.
Grabow: Yes. Yes. Okay. A++ [:April Williams: All right. And then [00:53:05] the last thing I'm gonna summarize, right? Because I know that, I'm just gonna say it, [00:53:10] everybody watching this is feeling at some point like they, they have hit a wall or they are hitting a wall, and they are [00:53:15] stuck, stuck, stuck.
Lora Grabow: Yeah.
to get out of it. One of the [:Lora Grabow: Mm-hmm. "
pril Williams: Is this true? [:That initial thought, that talking bad to yourself, those negative things, that's keeping you stuck [00:53:40] in shame and blame, and shame and blame never change.
Lora Grabow: Mm-mm.
April Williams: And the [:Lora Grabow: [00:53:50] Empathy.
April Williams: Empathy.
her people who say, "Me too. [:April Williams: Me too." Other people who say, "Me too."
Lora Grabow: You realize- And-
you're not alone. [:April Williams: a very close second. All [00:54:10] skills that, that we can work on. And if you [00:54:15] know that you don't have a person or people in your life who are safe [00:54:20] to have these conversations with-
Lora Grabow: Mm-hmm ...
ime for you to seek that out.[:And that connection, that community, is available to you in virtual spaces. [00:54:30] Right. Mm-hmm. Especially spaces, right, that are built to ensure that safety, [00:54:35] spaces that are led by experts who understand how to maintain that safety, and spaces [00:54:40] that, uh, w- will hold the space for you to just be there and exist. [00:54:45]
Lora Grabow: Yes.
Mm-hmm.
April Williams: And [:Lora Grabow: Mm-hmm.
il Williams: But what I will [:and who will hold space for you.
Come to one of my BariNation [:April Williams: Come to one of her BariNa- yeah. I mean, I, I'm, [00:55:20] I'm not exaggerating when I say this. I, I am the person who I am today, and I'm, I'm able to [00:55:25] move from shame i- into, right, a different place because of Laura, and [00:55:30] not only what she has taught me, but the place that exists for me to practice.[00:55:35]
That's the key. Let's see. I've been a bariatric patient now for seven years.
Lora Grabow: [:April Williams: Wow. Wow.
Natalie Tierney: Yeah.
: And, uh, and it... And I'm [:Lora Grabow: Yeah, no. Yeah. It doesn't work that way. No.
April Williams: Yeah, no, it doesn't work that way.
[:Natalie Tierney: You did. A-plus,
Lora Grabow: yeah.
April Williams: Okay. Okay.[:What's the, what's the thing that you're hoping people are leaving this conversation with? [00:56:20]
this conversation with hope [:So I think [00:56:50] that sums it up.
nversation leaves you with a [:Lora Grabow: Right.
April Williams: Try, try [:Great. Try that. Just [00:57:10] try, try something. Uh, and just know that change is possible. It, it is possible. We are [00:57:15] both living, breathing, real-life examples of, of how we are changing every day i- in our life [00:57:20] and if it's accessible for us, it's accessible for you, too.
Lora Grabow: Mm-hmm. Yes. [:April Williams: Laura, my friend, if people would like to connect with you to keep this [00:57:30] conversation going, where can they find you?
Lora Grabow: I would love to [:April Williams: Yep. A- and we will make sure, friends, that it is linked in, in [00:57:55] the show notes, uh, below, as well as the, her website and her, her Instagram.
And if you would like to [:Lora Grabow: I do. I [00:58:10] certainly do.
April Williams: Mm-hmm. Mondays, Wednesdays, and...
a Grabow: Yep. Yeah, so it's [:April Williams: Yep. Yeah, yeah. Uh, ju- ju- just an absolute game changer.[00:58:20]
ach out to her directly. You [:You live those each and every day, and we're just so thankful that you're willing to share [00:58:40] your story, uh, and your experience with us here on the podcast. [00:58:45]
Lora Grabow: Thank you for having me. I've loved every minute.
Me too. All right, friends. [:Bye. Bye-bye. All right, my friends. We're gonna wrap up [00:59:00] this amazing episode by saying thank you. If you are a donor of the BariNation [00:59:05] Foundation, thank you. Your gift ensures that this conversation really [00:59:10] finds the people in the moments when they need it most. And of course, Johnson & [00:59:15] Johnson and the Texas Center for Advanced Surgery and Bariatrics, led by Dr.
Joe, is ensuring that [:Natalie Tierney: Thanks for joining us. This podcast is a proud production of the BariNation [00:59:40] Foundation, a 501[c]3 nonprofit.
o advance metabolic wellness [:April Williams: A quick [00:59:55] reminder that the information discussed in this episode is not medical advice.
Be sure to speak with [: