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The Emptiness of Neglect: Empowering Yourself back after a Narcissistic Conflict
Episode 412th September 2023 • Empath And the Narcissist: Spiritual Healing with Human Design from Narcissistic Abuse & PTSD • Raven Scott
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😞 In the shadow of a narcissistic conflict, it's easy to feel like you're alone and adrift.

Negative thoughts and toxic behaviors can cloud your vision, making you question your worth. Remember, you're not the problem. Your inner light shines brighter than you think.

Surround yourself with the love and support of your true friends, and watch your strength illuminate the darkness. 💪❤️

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Transcripts

Speaker:

welcome to the Empath Rising podcast, where we are healing

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from narcissistic abuse, with human design, taro, and astrology.

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I'm your host, Raven, Scott.

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Make sure to share this podcast with a friend.

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Spread the love spread the light.

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And subscribe.

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The emptiness of neglect dealing with a narcissistic

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conflict in the intricate tapestries of human relationships

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conflicts they're inevitable.

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Even though we never ever desire to have them, and we put our rose colored glasses

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on, thinking will never have a conflict with this such nice and lovely person.

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Yet, once the narcissist shows their true colors and the conflict arises,

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From different differing perspectives, misunderstandings and clashing desires.

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However, when embroiled in a conflict with a narcissist, the emotional

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aftermath and during math can be uniquely harrowing, so aggravating,

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so frustrating, and so heartbreaking.

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It is a journey that often leaves one feeling empty.

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I know myself, I have felt this over and over again, where you get your hopes

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up and then the conflict happens, and then the discard appears, and you never

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intended for any conflict to happen.

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You just started to speak your truth.

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Maybe you drew a boundary and then you feel empty.

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You feel alone.

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Even if it's a, a minor character in your life, it makes you start to question.

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Am I the problem?

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'cause there's other people in my life who this has happened to, and

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I'm not speaking to them anymore.

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It just really, I know for me personally, it makes me, it makes

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me have that thought and I respect like, what have I done wrong?

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, how come I have so many people who just, I can't seem to

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figure out the conflict with.

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However, it's not.

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Always your fault.

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So this is the topic we're gonna talk about today.

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It's the journey that often feels you feeling empty, lonely questioning,

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but the neglect experienced on the receiving end of such a conflict.

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It can be deeply unsettling, and I think that's part of the narcissist tactic,

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and it causes you to doubt yourself.

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And you're positioned within the relationship and the boundary you

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just drew that created that conflict.

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This is their tactic to have, you know, not take responsibility to keep

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pushing off their guilt onto you and to, you know, to try and get what

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they want and for you to cave and bend and take down that boundary.

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The narcissistic dynamic is quite unique.

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Narcissists are individuals who exhibit an excessive preoccupation with

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themselves, their needs and their desires.

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This is true, N P D is something where they cannot seem to shift

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and change out of this obsession.

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With themselves and not taking a responsibility.

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Whereas someone else may you, you know, you may have a conflict with

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somebody who could be toxic but not yet narcissistic, and you finally,

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you know, give some time, blow off the steam, have a conversation again,

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get back together and figure it out.

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This doesn't ever really happen in the narcissistic dynamic.

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Everything gets brushed under the rug.

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Time goes on.

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Then the pattern will repeat again after a time where you think everything's

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fine and everything's going well.

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They narcissists lacks empathy and they manipulate others for their

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personal gain and they struggle to see beyond their own perspective.

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This is the most frustrating part and the part that I cannot get my

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little empath brain to wrap around.

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They struggle.

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They literally cannot, or will not.

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See beyond their own perspective

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they just will never be able to see life through reasonable eyes or

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eyes that, oh yeah, maybe I should, maybe I did say something kind of.

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Wrong, or maybe I did push off my guilt of feeling, you know, bad

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about something, the ball I dropped and pushing off under the person.

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The, the perspective, it just doesn't, I dunno what to tell you.

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It just doesn't change.

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It doesn't shift.

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No matter how much you think you can be loving, say different things, have a real,

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you know, mature conversation with them.

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You can still be open and inclusive towards them, but what's interesting

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is that their guard goes up when you start to kind of do that, and you're

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like, wait, I, I didn't, I didn't, I swear I just put up a boundary.

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I did not do anything to really harmfully hurt them or offend

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them, and they're acting like I am.

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You know, like fire, and they can't even come near me.

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This is just all part of their perspective.

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They always play the victim, and so if they're always seeing themselves

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as the victim, they're never taking a responsibility, and therefore there's

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not gonna be a real conversation that's gonna happen where both

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parties can come to an agreement of how to change to move forward.

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So engaging in this conflict with a narcissist, it really

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unveils a distinct pattern.

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The focus consistently remains on their feelings and their needs.

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While your own are diminished or outright dismissed over and over and

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over again, your conflicts will always have this pattern with true N P D.

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And this neglect can create an emotional vacuum that leaves you

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feeling isolated and unimportant.

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And eventually thinking, am I the narcissist?

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The emptiness of conflict really is a horrible vacuum.

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When caught in this web of conflict with a narcissist, the feelings of emptiness

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can feel very overwhelming, especially if they are your romantic partner.

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It's as though your emotions and needs are buried under the weight

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of their dominance, their agenda.

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Their lack of responsibility and guilt and shame, pushing it back on you.

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You might find yourself constantly seeking validation, trying to make

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your voice heard, only to be met with indifference or even hostility,

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passive aggressive, or even aggressive.

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This emotional void can lead to a sense of isolation.

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As if you are adrift in a sea of your own thoughts and emotions, unable to

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find solid ground and there's no talking your way, and understanding whys and

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hows through with a narcissist 'cause it will always get pushed and pushed

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back onto you and you'll feel lonelier and weaker and lesser about /yourself.

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One of the insidious effects of narcissistic conflict is

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this perception of loneliness.

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The tactics used by the narcissist, such as silent treatment or

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gaslighting can leave you feeling abandoned and disconnected.

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They exploit this emotional vulnerability to maintain their control, their power.

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These toxic behaviors such as projection, blame shifting, making really strange

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requests for you to do things based off of their own responsibilities and things

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that they should have taken care of.

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It can make you question your own sanity and judgment.

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This fog of confusion clouds your ability to see the positive aspects

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of your life in general, including friends who genuinely care for you

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and the successes you've achieved.

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The spotlight on the conflict amplifies negative thoughts, negative

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emotions, doubt, shame, frustration, and all of those overshadow.

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It almost engulfs the positive aspects.

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In your life that you should be celebrating.

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So I would advise if you're stuck in a situation, to start a grateful

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list, to make sure that you're always focusing on your achievements.

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You're grateful for what you've achieved that day, grateful for the

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people in your life that make you feel good, who've reached out to

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you, and to remember your worth.

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Climbing out of the abyss of this conflict with a narcissist

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requires self-compassion.

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It requires discernment and a connection with your own worth,

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which is why I love human design.

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'cause it just gives you that clear energy map that says, you know what?

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That's you, that's not me.

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And it's crucial to remind yourself of your strengths, which are

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all highlighted in your chart.

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Your accomplishments and the people who appreciate you for who you are.

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So seek those people out more often.

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Call them.

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Get that good serotonin vibe from those who actually truly

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see you and have empathy and, and caring compassion for you.

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Seek support from trusted friends, family, or a mental health professional.

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You can always find a mental health professional@betterhelp.com,

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our sponsor, uh, online and your, it's a safe environment.

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You can do wherever you need to speak to them in your car, in your home,

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anywhere where you can find a quiet spot.

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And I can help you gain perspective and rebuild your self-esteem.

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Find healing.

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Healing from the emptiness.

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And the turmoil of the narcissistic conflict is a gradual process.

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It involves recognizing the toxic dynamics at play, setting boundaries

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to protect your emotional wellbeing, and learning how to prioritize your

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needs, deflecting whatever they're trying to shift back onto you.

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Drop it, let it go.

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My favorite exercise, Is to do yoga, to move all of that energy that's trapped

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in my heart, in my mind, and breathe it out through yoga, opening my hands

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up and letting go of whatever I'm holding on that the narcissist has, you

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know, volleyed over to me in my court.

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It's not mine to keep, I can't fix the whole scenario.

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I can't fix the conflict.

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I can't fix them.

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All I can do is just.

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Do the self care for me.

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Work on my emotional self being and strengthen and commend

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myself for setting the boundary.

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Yes, the boundary may have caused a conflict, but you needed to

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protect your emotional wellbeing.

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You needed that boundary.

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So don't, , crumble under the toxic.

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Manipulation to take those away, strengthen your emotional boundaries,

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and resolves by going, you know what?

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That's just another test in my human experiment that this person

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just really doesn't care about me.

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They really only care about themselves because if I had set up an expectation

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with someone who cared about me or a boundary, They would have no problem

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accepting it because they are mature, because they are whole within themselves

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and they can handle whatever negative emotions they have on their end through

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their own self-care and emotional growth.

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So engage in self-care activities, practice mindfulness, and

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focusing on positive aspects of your life can really help regain

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your sense of self and purpose.

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I don't know if you've read this book yet, but I'm rereading it.

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It came up in another podcast I was listening to about this

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whole mindfulness topic, and I.

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Spirituality, and it's called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tole.

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If you're have read it, I would suggest rereading it.

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That's what I'm doing right now in this moment of energy and

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time with a North Note in Aries.

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And possibly it'll give you a deeper sense of perspective as you're

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farther down in your healing process.

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And if you've never heard of it, it is a great book to read in the beginning

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stages or just your awakening moment now.

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Ah, dear Empath, / so in conclusion, navigating a conflict with a narcissist

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can leave you feeling like a solitary figure, Arif in a stormy sea.

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The neglect, the emotional void, and the isolation that often

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accompanies such conflicts can lead to a profound emptiness.

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However, it is essential to remember that your worth is not defined.

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At all, not even one iota by the attention or validation of

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anyone, let alone the narcissist.

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By seeking support and rediscovering your own value and focusing on the

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positive aspects of your life, you can emerge from the darkness of conflict

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with renewed strength and clarity.

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Thank you so much for investing in yourself today to become

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more empowered and listening and tuning into your own inner voice.

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Join our Empath Healing community for free and receive your free 10

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day live narc free audio workshop.

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Grab your copy of the empath and the Narcissist book, either on

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paperback, a hardcover, or audible.

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And look out in your emails for the upcoming workbook coming out soon.

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You can dive deeper with me and get your free human design chart at in the pinned

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post on Instagram at Raven Scott Show.

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Or you can purchase your full reading to ask me as many questions

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as you have about your chart.

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Don't forget to get professional help through our sponsor Better Health.

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You get 10% off your first month by going to the link in the show notes

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and head on over to the episode page where you can subscribe

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to the blog and read even more.

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I have extra bonus information through the blog that you can read that I

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haven't talked about here on the podcast.

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So many ways to dive deeper with me, and I really, really, truly, truly appreciate

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you and I sending so much energy out to you for you to be empowered to your

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empath on your healing journey and in this next chapter of your life, don't

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forget to rate and review this podcast if you have not yet already or just.

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Have then just keep sharing it with the friends and remember, always

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