In this episode, the girls discuss shady sheriffs, people hunting and befriending lions.

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Welcome to Cool Girls Don't Look at Explosions, where we watch

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hyper masculine TV and make fun of it.

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but we don't watch all of it,

cause who's got time for that?

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We don't.

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We're too busy coming down from the

Star Trek invention, to be honest.

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Glo: Star Trek Las Vegas, baby!

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Baby!

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Mm

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Beth: baby!

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Frakes said he liked my shirt.

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It was cool.

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Laura: Oh, which shirt?

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Beth: My I read banned books shirt.

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Laura: Yeah, that is very cool.

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Beth: So today we watched

Airwolf season 2 episode 1.

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Called Sweet Birches.

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It's air date was September 22nd, 1984.

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It was directed by Alan J.

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Levy, who also directed Sleeper,

which is an episode of Buffy.

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Uh, it was

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Glo: don't

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Laura: but I hope that

that was a better episode.

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Beth: Maybe it was.

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It was.

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A significantly better episode.

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This was also written by Donald P.

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Bellisario.

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Who wrote a ton of Quantum

Leap, the OG Quantum Leap, with

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none other than Scotch Bakula.

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And, it was written by Chester

Krumholtz as well, who wrote

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an episode of Police Woman.

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I don't know anything about Police

Woman, but it gave me high hopes

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for maybe some secret feminism.

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Laura: Yeah, what an

interesting spin on Copaganda.

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Glo: Copaganda right.

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Bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

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Beth: Apparently a lot of

bad , well, let's kick it off.

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One, so we get the opening credits,

and in the opening credits, we

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see a lady has got herself a

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credit in the opening credits.

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As in, she's part of the Ruggler

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yes?

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Glo: Jean Bruce Scott,

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Laura: interesting.

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Yeah, this is new credits,

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Beth: mullet?

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Yeah.

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credits.

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And she is in the opening scene where

we open on a high speed motorcycle

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chase through a desert road.

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With a bunny eating an apple core

while the sheriff chases the guy

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Glo: Guys, the iguana got replaced

by the bunny eating the apple core.

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Beth: Bunny is the new iguana.

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Turns out the lady from the

opening credits is flying a

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police copter.

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This will undoubtedly make Stringfellow's

butthole of toxic masculinity, pucker.

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Glo: It's okay, cuz she's hot.

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Beth: hot.

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Yeah.

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She's got like a Joan Jett shag

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That I wish I could pull off but I can't.

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Hell

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Glo: she is very cool, but definitely

I don't know, little sister vibes.

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Not lead sexy lady vibes,

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Laura: Yeah, she is to be

protected, not to be fucked.

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Yeah.

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Sure.

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Beth: Is a

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Glo: unless you're thrown in

jail, but we'll get to that.

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Beth: Oh dear

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god.

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Glo: Oof.

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Beth: She's flying a police helicopter

and The sheriff is chasing the cyclist and

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she's all Yo sheriff, do you want help?

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And he's just ignoring

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Laura: Mm Yeah.

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Beth: And then the sheriff drives,

purposefully drives the cyclist

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into a ravine.

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She offers to help.

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Airlift him to the nearest hospital, and

he's all like, Why would I want to do

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that?

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She was like, cause it's your job?

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And then he's all no.

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And then he shoots at him

and tells her to fuck off

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Laura: He calls her a

flying meter maid, which

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I find extremely offensive because

we find out later that, she works

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for like the highway patrol.

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So

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Glo: Yeah.

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Beth: Which I think is like a hard job to

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Laura: right,

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Glo: frickin

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flying a helicopter, I feel

like, should be hard, a hard job.

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Come on now.

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Beth: Actually one of, The College

Friends was in town , and I was watching

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it while he was here, and he actually

has quite a bit of experience with

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helicopters, and he was watching the

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episode with me, and he was just

like, yo, this is some really good

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flying whoever they got to fly the

helicopters they're hovering super

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low, and that takes a lot of skill

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Glo: Okay.

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Beth: so he was pretty impressed,

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Glo: right.

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Endorsed.

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Endorsement.

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Laura: some stunt pilots did some

really good work on the show.

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Beth: Yeah, but it is at this moment.

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I would like to point out ACAP,

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Laura: Ha ha.

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Beth: especially the sheriff

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Glo: Well, the sheriff is male toxic.

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everything all personified.

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Like he doesn't have a personality

other than I hate people.

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I am terrible.

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And I'm going to make fun of this woman.

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Beth: Yes, but also deputy dumbass ACAP.

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Laura: Yeah, and I, correct me if I'm

wrong, because it has been a while

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since we watched this episode, right?

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We all watched it intending to

record together at STLV, and

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then we had too many shenanigans.

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I'm pretty sure the sheriff

never took his sunglasses off.

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Glo: I'm pretty sure you're

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Laura: he was sunglasses

the whole time, yeah.

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We needed that visual signal

of this guy is a baddie.

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He wears his sunglasses

at night and inside.

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Beth: Because he uses

echolocation to find his way.

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Glo: So the sheriff is a

bat is what we're saying.

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Laura: Are cooler

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than the

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sheriff.

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Glo: a good point.

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Beth: Yeah, no,

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we love bats.

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Laura: This is a pro

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Beth: ACAB does not include bats.

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Anyway yeah she backs off because

she has no other option and leaves

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the cyclist with the sheriff.

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And the cyclist looks terrified, like

innocent and terrified to be honest.

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A Clab does not include bunnies.

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Bunnies are cool.

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Laura: hmm.

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Beth: Cut to Stringfellow snoozing.

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While , what's his name?

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Glo: Dom,

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yeah.

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Beth: Dom, there we go.

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I keep putting him as

Mermaid Man in my notes.

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Laura: How could you not?

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, Beth: but Dom does all the work on

the helicopter and the phone rings.

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And Dom's all hey, maybe

you could get that phone.

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And Stringfellow's like, I'm

gonna be a whiny bitch about it.

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Glo: I have it in my notes

that they're on an airplane.

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Beth: they're The airplane is

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on the ground,

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but it's like one of those two person

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helicopter deals

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sort of things.

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That the flying ace in and

the Red Baron in the Peanuts

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fly in?

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exactly one

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Laura: right?

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Beth: Yeah.

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Yeah, exactly.

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Anyway I think that's supposed

to be funny, but boomer humor.

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Boomer humor.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Yeah.

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It's just pick up the phone.

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And we find out this is a collect

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call.

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So I feel like you really

need to pick those up, right?

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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I think you have to pay

the charges or whatever.

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This is all like, before cell phone stuff,

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guys, if you don't

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Glo: If we have any young listeners

out there, that's when you would

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call, and then the, you would accept

that you are paying for that call.

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But, You don't have a plan.

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It's all very interesting.

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Beth: I remember they

took our phones at camp,

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at sleepaway camp, and I lost my

retainer, and the only way I could

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call was via payphone, and that

is the only time I've ever used a

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payphone

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Laura: Wow, yeah.

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Beth: my dad I lost my retainer, and

he was like get in that dumpster and

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find it!

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Laura: Yeah, that's hard.

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Beth: But, it's the cyclist's

buddy, and the cyclist is

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named Jimmy Blake, we find out.

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And he was Stringfellow's war buddy.

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He says he pulled him out of

Indian territory in Vietnam.

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Laura: Yeah, so I think this,

Aaron explained this to me.

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That was like a way of saying enemy

territory was Indian territory.

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Which is

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Problems.

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Beth: Yeah.

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Wow.

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Haha.

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So he, so dude on the phone tells

Stringfellow that Jimmy got arrested

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in Texas cause we haven't had a

Western episode, so let's get it,

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cause there were three things in

the 80s, Western, Spies, and Nazis,

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Glo: Should we have a count?

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Like, is this a Western drama?

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Is this a spy drama or a Nazi drama today?

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Laura: Yeah, because we've had Nazi

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drama, and now we're having a

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Beth: Lions,

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but we'll get

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Glo: And the first one, the

first two episodes that was

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one episode was about spies.

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So there we go.

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Beth: What's about spies?

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Yeah.

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But yeah Stringfellow, so dude tells

Stringfellow that Jimmy got arrested in

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Texas and the sheriff's a dickhead and

he's hitching a ride to Mexico with a

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hot, sorry, the sheriff isn't hitching

a ride to Mexico, the dude who's calling

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from the payphone is hitching a ride to

Mexico with a hot blonde and a Mercedes,

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Laura: hmm.

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Beth: To meet Jimmy, who escaped custody

as far as dude on the phone knows.

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And it turns out the blonde is a

cougar, and I think that's supposed

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to be funny, but honestly it's fucking

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consensual.

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Everybody's a grown ass

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adult, like, and I assume

it's to meet Jimmy who escaped

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custody as far as the dude knows.

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And yeah, so Stringfellow is

all like, we're going to Texas.

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And Mermaid Man is the fuck

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Glo: Oh, he is not

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Laura: yeah.

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Beth: Stringfellow's like,

this dude helped me out in Nam.

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And Dom is all like, Texas ain't Vietnam.

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Which is correct, because as far

as I know, Vietnam is not a

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fascist dictatorship like

apparently this town in Texas is.

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Laura: Also, Vietnam's a lot smaller.

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Beth: And weather?

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I think of

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Laura: Oh,

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Beth: like Dry ish?

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Laura: Yeah.

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Beth: Can someone from Texas fill us in?

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Vic, what's Texas like?

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Help!

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Laura: I'm pretty sure Victor has been

openly posting about his nocturnal

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lifestyle right now due to the heat,

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so.

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Beth: cuz it's super spicy

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Glo: I do know that based off of my

roommate from when I studied abroad,

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who is Vietnamese American, that a

lot of Vietnamese did move to Texas

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after the Vietnam War for asylum.

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And I know, Laura, you said

Oklahoma as well, right?

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Laura: Yeah.

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Texas and Oklahoma have very large

Vietnamese communities from that.

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Yeah.

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I think Vietnam does get warm,

but I think it's much wetter.

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Interesting.

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Glo: find out that Airwolf has

not been started for two months.

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So we've had a two month, yeah,

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Beth: Yep,

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Glo: two month hiatus?

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Beth: and that Dom thinks that

Airwolf has feelings and he calls her

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baby

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Glo: I, later on I put a question mark

Is airwolf established as sentient?

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Like, does it understand?

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Beth: I think if Airwolf does understand,

she is in this relationship with Dom

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against her will.

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Yeah, and then there's a fun flying

montage that takes way the fuck too long,

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because apparently we still haven't hired

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any editors this season.

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Good for y'all.

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Laura: did notice in this sequence,

though, that I really liked the music it

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was very of the time, that like Vangelis

or Wendy Carlos electronic well done.

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I mean, I've been watching a show that

has some really bad music lately, guys,

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Beth: Is it.

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Crusade?

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Is it for The Who Are You?

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A Babylon

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5 Podcast Crusade?

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Laura: Notedly bad music in Crusade.

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And this is so much better.

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I really liked it and appreciated it.

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So I'm gonna give somebody

some props on this show.

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Beth: Word.

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Cut to apparently a big game hunting

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business in

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Glo: cat range.

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Laura: I called this guy

some crazy, he was doing some

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Beth: He is!

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And he's charging 50, 000 in

80s money to hunt Sam the Lion.

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And I did some Googling and

figured out how much that

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is in today's money.

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It is 151, 366.

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70.

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And he can pay that to bring down Sam

the Lion, who has been kidnapped, and

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held in captivity now for ten years.

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Will not go into my rants about how

big game hunting is barbaric and

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obscene and should not be allowed,

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Glo: What was the name of the lion

that we saw at the Zach Bagans Museum?

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Do you remember?

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I forget.

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So this is from Star Trek Las Vegas Beth

and I went on a side quest to the Zach

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Bagans Haunted Museum, and they had,

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Beth: Zac Bacon

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Glo: they had a stuffed

lion that had killed its

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Beth: Stuffed lamb.

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Yeah.

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Laura: Oh my.

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Beth: the

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Glo: Yeah, and I'm just

like, why is this spooky?

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It's not very spooky, it's

just like, yeah guy, good job.

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Get him.

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Laura: Just like

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sad, Yeah.

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Beth: I would like to high five that lion.

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What a weird adventure that was.

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Will never forgive Zach Bagans

for doing that with his hair

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and somehow making me scream.

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Nobody who does that with their

hair should be able to make me

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And anyways, the hunter turns

to the dude and says, I'd

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sell my soul for a good hunt.

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And then, it Flashes back to

Erewolf, And Dom and Stringfellow

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are talking about some giant

Electrovide fence that's massive.

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Laura: these two things be related?

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Glo: dun, dun

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Beth: Right?

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Cause otherwise, that's

even bad writing for this

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Laura: Yeah.

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Beth: So they have nowhere to land

so they're gonna have to land airwolf

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at the African Hunt Club Ranch.

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Gross.

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And of course, the

asshole sheriff is a part

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of the club.

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Laura: Oh yeah.

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Yeah, there's not enough people

here to exclude people from that

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club.

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Yeah,

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Beth: and like four of them suck,

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Glo: And not only is he a misogynist,

he's also a big game ranch animal abuser.

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Beth: You know, cowards are big

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hit game hunters.

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They're, misogynists are

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also cowards, so

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Laura: the Venn diagram.

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Yeah, there's

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Beth: It's basically a

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Glo: Yeah.

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Well, you know, the two circles look like

his sunglasses that he never takes off.

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Beth: Told you,

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it's because he doesn't

have eyes, just black holes.

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Anyway The Flying Copter Lady finally

gets a name, Caitlin O'Shaughnessy

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. And she's come here to yell at Akeb,

and he dismisses her while sexually

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harassing her.

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I wrote the quote down, you stick

your butt in where it doesn't

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belong, it's gonna get kicked.

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No matter how cute it is.

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Blech.

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It is at this point I have begun to

actively root for Sam the Lion to eat the

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Sheriff.

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Anyway, she says she's gonna

do things the hard way, which I

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would assume means get somebody.

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Higher up involved and then she storms

out, and the sheriff sends dudes after

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her and she's in her car and does in fact

confirm that she's planning on going to

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a judge for a court order and she gets

run off the road by these guys, and this

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is where the trigger warning comes in.

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Glo: Yeah.

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She's

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Beth: gang raped by four men who

are all about twice her size.

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Laura: And they call her Sweet Britches,

which is the title of this episode.

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Beth: Which is much less fun

than Stringfellow calling

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Dom sweet britches or some

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Laura: Yeah.

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Everything we came up with in

the last episode is way better.

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Beth: Yes!

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Glo: tied.

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They really love hog tying

women in this show too.

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Beth: They d Ah!

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Help!

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Ma'am!

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That Somebody needs to be in jail.

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That was involved in this show.

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Possibly

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several somebodies.

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Glo: just like before, who comes to

the Lady Who's Tog Tied's rescue?

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Beth: Sentient Helicopter Airwolf.

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Glo: Jet Wolf!

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Beth: Whoosh!

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Laura: It's the anti rape helicopter.

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Beth: Hee!

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She is!

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Hee!

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Laura: Make it air

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Beth: a pitch.

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There we go.

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Patreon bonus content.

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We present to NASA

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Laura: Air wolf.

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Beth: a plan to make Airwolf real.

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Laura: we have to remember

to like blow something up.

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Definitely.

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Glo: And give him bagels that

do not have enough cream cheese.

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Laura: No

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cream cheese.

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None.

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Beth: Like just a swatch

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of cream cheese, like a square of

cream cheese on one edge of one

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side

407

Glo: guys didn't think you'd have

a cream cheese callback, did ya?

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That's

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Laura: Look, we remember

that pilot really well.

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Beth: are women from the Midwest.

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We take our cream cheese

very fucking seriously

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Glo: premium content you'll get on our

Patreon if we ever shut set one up.

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Cream cheese.

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Beth: Just gonna eat

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Cream cheese taste test.

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Patreon bonus content

you can unlock for 5.

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Laura: So the other thing about

this scene that really gets me is

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is demanding from the airwolf that

they let this woman go, right?

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And these chucklefucks actually

seem to think about it and

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think about not doing that.

421

And then they try to shoot

the airwolf, but I'm like, is

422

everyone in the world an idiot?

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Beth: Everyone in this particular

town, , seems to be an idiot.

424

Yes.

425

Laura: Yeah,

426

Beth: of lead in this

particular town, quite high.

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Laura: this is lead times, isn't it?

428

Like, gas is still leaded and stuff.

429

Beth: This was the lead of times,

this was the lead of times.

430

As Charles Dickens

431

totally said,

432

Laura: Yeah, everyone who is faced

with Stringfellow Hawk making a

433

demand from the Airwolf should be

just shitting their pants, right?

434

Beth: an helicopter with a gun the size

of your entire body, and then some, is

435

all Let her go, or I'm gonna shoot ya.

436

You fuckin you know, let her go.

437

He says, I want cream

cheese for this bagel.

438

You get him like five tubs of cream

439

cheese.

440

Laura: You ask, would you like whipped?

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Oh

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Beth: but yeah.

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Okay.

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And then the chuckle fox as

Laura, so aptly put them go

445

back to the sheriff and go.

446

It was a UFO.

447

So again, high concentration

of lead in this town.

448

Laura: One, one last

thing about that scene.

449

Beth: Oh, I'm so sorry.

450

Laura: No, this is important

because it is hysterical.

451

So I don't know if you caught

it, but when the airwolf destroys

452

their truck in response to their

stupidity, you can see the cord that

453

is pulling the truck to roll it.

454

Glo: No!

455

Laura: Like, we

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Beth: Oh, quality programming.

457

Laura: Rewound it might be one of those

artifacts of we have really great TVs

458

now, so we see this shit.

459

But,

460

Glo: Whoa.

461

Laura: it, you should

definitely go back and watch

462

Beth: I think I'm gonna go back.

463

Maybe we should recreate

that with a truck.

464

Glo: But that means I gotta go

back and watch this episode again.

465

Laura: I didn't write down a timestamp

I should have, so you could just go

466

straight there and just be like, ha ha ha.

467

Beth: We could recreate it from our

468

memories, and then

469

do it ourselves, and watch it.

470

I just want to roll a

truck with a string, okay?

471

Laura: hmm.

472

Sounds fun.

473

Beth: Chaos Gremlin unlocked!

474

Okay after that, all the chuckle

fucks go back to the big game hunting

475

place, Where the sheriff still is.

476

And go, it was a UFO.

477

It looked nothing like a UFO.

478

I don't know how we got there, but sure.

479

Laura: Yeah.

480

The big game hunter, Mr.

481

Tiger King heckles them and I really

liked this and I was like, whenever

482

I'm feeling folksy and want to

insult someone, I should do this.

483

But he says that they have the brains

of a dead armadillo between them.

484

Beth: yes, yes, yes.

485

That was like my favorite line.

486

I screamed at it.

487

Like everyone who was at my house.

488

And then, after they leave,

we find out that dude, Mr.

489

Joe Exotic, his name is Mr.

490

Houston.

491

Laura: course, because he's from Texas.

492

There's no other, yeah.

493

Beth: He's besties with the sheriff,

and they're sitting there, and

494

they're talking, and then he's like,

Hey, do you sell that escaped biker?

495

Because I got somebody who wants to hunt

496

Glo: Dude, and I put down, in

all caps, MOST DANGEROUS GAME,

497

question mark, question mark?

498

Beth: Ha ha ha!

499

And then at that point, I started

calling the hunter guy at the beginning

500

of it, Ted Nugent, because if anyone

hunts humans for sport, it's Ted Nugent.

501

I'm sure of it.

502

And then he says that that he's

looking to get into the people hunting

503

business because he can charge a

hundred thousand dollars a pop,

504

basically, for it.

505

And so I, of course, converted

that into today money.

506

You're looking at two hundred and

two thousand seven hundred and thirty

507

three dollars, which just does not

508

Glo: That seems low.

509

Beth: Like,

510

Glo: Yeah.

511

I think there would be a lot more people

hunting, honestly, if it was that cheap.

512

Beth: I'm saying, shouldn't

it be like five million?

513

I

514

Laura: Yeah, I think you gotta

be able to like, buy yourself a

515

small villa somewhere for each

516

person, yeah, yeah.

517

Beth: Yeah, The s the supply

has gotta be low for that

518

because you gotta kidnap, right?

519

Laura: There's so much

520

Beth: transport.

521

Laura: very high risk, like

lots of places things go wrong,

522

Glo: I just wouldn't

want to do that in Texas.

523

I don't know.

524

When I think of the most dangerous game, I

want to be like in the jungle, an island.

525

I don't know.

526

Have you guys read the book?

527

I've read that story.

528

I've taught it a million times

as an English teacher, but

529

okay.

530

Yeah.

531

It's

532

Beth: Yeah, I I feel like that's

why you purchase a private

533

Laura: Yeah.

534

Beth: if Leonardo DiCaprio invites

you to his private island, don't go.

535

Glo: Right.

536

Beth: That

537

is moral of the story.

538

Laura: Yeah, pretty much any billionaire

invites you to their private island.

539

Maybe think about that a

540

Yeah.

541

Beth: like five tasers, a

542

hunting knife,

543

Laura: if you get invited to a

very rich person's ranch in Texas,

544

maybe also think about that.

545

Yeah.

546

Beth: invites you anywhere, don't go, just

547

Laura: Yeah.

548

These are good rules for life.

549

We're really helping

550

people here.

551

Yeah.

552

Beth: We are, we're helping you

553

Glo: get hunted.

554

Beth: stay out of danger, yes, not get

555

hunted

556

Glo: not reinsferred yourself.

557

Beth: Alright then Stringfellow wanders

into the bar, and after fucking levitating

558

to the bar, As far as I can tell,

the sheriff arrests him for drinking

559

a beer in a bar while being from out

of town and not having an ID on him.

560

Laura: he does the papers please

561

thing, and Stringfellow's ID is gone

562

Beth: And he's all like,

how'd you get here?

563

And Stringfellow's like, I hitched.

564

He's like, okay, well now you're arrested.

565

Laura: yeah, what a

566

simple

567

time.

568

Beth: Yeah.

569

But yeah I assume he hunts him,

er, I assume he arrests him so that

570

he can use him to hunt for sport

571

later.

572

Laura: that's the

intention all along, right?

573

This guy's from out of town, nobody

knows him, nobody gives a shit what

574

happens to him he's great material.

575

Beth: He doesn't even have an ID on

576

him, like, fuck

577

Glo: Dang, guys,

578

Beth: Ohio may be for lovers, but Pope

County is for fascists and people hunting.

579

Glo: I wonder how much

people hunting happens.

580

Is it this easy to set up?

581

Beth: There was that one guy in

582

Canada, Robert Hanson, I think was his

583

Laura: I'm sorry,

584

what?

585

Beth: Um.

586

He was a serial killer.

587

There's a a Nicolas Cage,

John Cusack movie about it

588

called Frozen Ground, I think.

589

But, he chose sex workers and

would fly them out in his plane.

590

Oh no, it was in Alaska.

591

And he'd fly them out to the wilderness.

592

In his plane, drop them in the middle

of nowhere and hunt them, basically.

593

And of course it took them forever

594

because cops will not look

for Marginalized people.

595

So anyway I know that was

a thing that happened.

596

I just don't think it's probably

a thing that happens often.

597

I like

598

to think.

599

Laura: Yeah statistically, it's

probably an extremely we're much

600

more likely to die in a car accident

than a plane accident kind of thing.

601

Much more likely to be struck

by lightning than bit by a

602

shark or whatever, but still.

603

It's probably a non zero amount,

which is a little distressing.

604

Beth: Yeah, like that's the thing.

605

I don't want to look up the

actual statistics because I

606

will just freak myself out.

607

Laura: Well, and then the statistics

are only based on people who've

608

been ca I should stop talking.

609

Oh,

610

Beth: I would be a terrible criminal.

611

I have way too

612

much anxiety.

613

Laura: Yeah.

614

No.

615

I can't keep track of stuff.

616

Like, to lie, you have to keep

617

Beth: then you have

618

Laura: information, guys.

619

Beth: god, forget it.

620

And

621

then

622

Laura: power is elsewhere.

623

Beth: where that shit is?

624

I'm not gonna remember.

625

I don't know what happened this morning!

626

Shit!

627

Okay so cut to Dom having

a full blown conversation

628

with Airwolf.

629

I am now 100 percent

sure that Dom has fucked

630

that helicopter.

631

Glo: Duh!

632

No!

633

Beth: no, he's fucked

634

that helicopter, He has, he has JD Vanced

635

with that helicopter,

636

Glo: See, I'm thinking Stringfellow maybe

637

Beth: for

638

Glo: played it a cello solo or something,

639

Laura: yeah, he's definitely serenaded

640

the helicopter.

641

Beth: So has Dom, with his penis.

642

Laura: Is it me or does Airwolf

look smaller than like in the pilot?

643

I felt like in the pilot.

644

Airwolf had seven guys on board

doing stuff at consoles and stuff.

645

And now in this one, it was like big,

it was small enough that Dom's just

646

like throwing the cape canopy over

it or whatever, to try to hide it.

647

And I was like, it seems a

lot different than the pilot.

648

Beth: It's possible, maybe their

budget got cut in half because

649

they were like, the show's bad.

650

we're only gonna give you half the budget.

651

Laura: Maybe it's just

me, but it seemed smaller,

652

Beth: I don't know, it seemed smaller.

653

I'm on board with that.

654

Laura: but she has a coffee maker.

655

You guys, because Dom is making himself a

coffee when he gets surprised by a lion.

656

Beth: He has the correct idea,

which is hide in the helicopter,

657

whereas my dumb ass would be like,

I can make friends with this lion.

658

I can fix him.

659

Laura: can't fix the lion, guys.

660

That's lesson number four.

661

Beth: Don't be Beth.

662

Don't try to make friends with that lion.

663

You'll live a lot longer.

664

If I could just get underneath that lion's

chin with my fingies, I could give him

665

little chin scritches, and then he'd

purr, and then we'd be best friends.

666

I'm just saying, it could happen.

667

Anyway, Caitlin flies to

the sheriff's station in her

668

helicopter with a court order,

669

like a bad bitch, to produce

the Jimmy Blake Biker.

670

Deputy Dumbass is shocked

that Stringfellow's real

671

name isn't also Jimmy Blake,

672

which is what Stringfellow

told them it was.

673

And he was all like,

You lied to the sheriff?

674

Like how many James Blakes do

you think are fucking running

675

around, Deputy Dumbass?

676

Laura: like Deputy

677

Dumbass.

678

He's just incredible.

679

Beth: But anyway, so then we cut back

to Dom screaming at Sam the lion, who's

680

yelling back because if a human is

going WAAAHH at you, you're gonna WAAAHH

681

right back at him and it seems right.

682

So yeah, and then we and then we go

back to Stringfellow who has figured

683

out that Caitlin is the woman he saved.

684

She's all What do you mean

you didn't get a phone call?

685

And he's all I didn't.

686

And she's, yeah.

687

Laura: Yeah.

688

Stringfellow tries to get her to just

let him go, but she's a real Ben Curley

689

type, and she's not going to do that.

690

But she will do the phone

691

Glo: Really though I wrote down well,

yeah, he is a she is a very much like

692

my husband I also put down paladin

exclamation point for Kate for Caitlyn.

693

She is our paladin.

694

Beth: I put down Lawful

695

Good Ben Curley.

696

Glo: If anybody listens to Last

Time On, he is your internet dad.

697

Beth: Sometimes he's my real

dad, because he was all like,

698

Beth, change your wiper blades.

699

Glo: Wait, does that make you my daughter?

700

I love it.

701

Beth: Yeah, canonically I am the daughter

702

Glo: I'm here for it.

703

Laura: String blows in his phone

call back to Dom on the Airwolf,

704

because Airwolf also has a car phone.

705

Beth: Yeah,

706

Laura: The bag phone.

707

You guys

708

remember the

709

Beth: big Yeah, oh yeah.

710

Laura: Huh yeah.

711

Dom has his own problems

because the lions are circling.

712

, but it all doesn't matter

because the sheriff pulls his

713

gun on Caitlin and String.

714

Beth: And he immediately takes

Caitlyn to jail and tells

715

Stringfellow they're going hunting.

716

Laura: And we've confirmed Jimmy, the

real Jimmy Blake is 100 percent dead.

717

Beth: Just

718

shot him in cold blood.

719

Laura: Yeah, off screen.

720

R.

721

I.

722

P.

723

Beth: Cause only, the only thing that

can be on screen in the show is grape.

724

Glo: Yeah.

725

Beth: that's totally

normal, not at all weird.

726

Laura: Speaking of not at all weird

the rich guy who's paying 100, 000

727

to hunt Stringfellow Hawk basically

talks about wanting to live his

728

fantasies of what Vietnam would have

been like if he hadn't dodged the

729

Glo: Yes.

730

Laura: is insane.

731

This man is

732

insane.

733

And

734

Beth: good move on the writer's part

because it's like, yeah, we're totally

735

saying that big game hunters are cowards.

736

That's a thousand percent

what we're saying.

737

What are you going to do about it?

738

In 1984,

739

Laura: I think this is probably calling

out a certain type of man in the 80s.

740

It's there's.

741

probably a lot of this type of man who's

just like, well, if I had gone to Vietnam,

742

I would have been the hero or whatever.

743

And

744

Glo: down there Rambo.

745

Laura: Yeah.

746

This weird glorification of that

conflict is something I think they're

747

actually like calling attention to and

is more than I expected of the show.

748

Beth: Yeah, and it's honestly beautifully

749

done.

750

Laura: It's subversive almost

sometimes, you know, like we have

751

this, Really macho dude show.

752

And sometimes it'll make

the secret feminism.

753

And I think this isn't secret feminism.

754

Is it?

755

What is this?

756

Or like a secret rewriting

of masculinity or something?

757

I don't know.

758

It's very interesting.

759

Glo: self aware somehow So where it's

like the show woke up for a second and

760

then it goes back to sleep But it's it

there is some Interesting progressive

761

clarity at some times in this show.

762

Beth: Yeah.

763

Yeah.

764

They're really, and I feel like

this episode was a bit more

765

cohesive than the first season.

766

Like I think that the writing was better

767

Glo: Was definitely a lot more palatable.

768

It felt like, Oh, it's already over,

where it was the same amount of

769

time as the other ones that we had

770

Laura: mm hmm,

771

Glo: definitely felt like, Oh,

there was an actual story to

772

this one that was pretty decent.

773

Beth: There was a

beginning, a middle, and an

774

Laura: mm hmm,

775

Beth: All of the sexual

assault, personally.

776

But,

777

Glo: give your hounds some meat sometimes.

778

Beth: Oh,

779

we haven't gotten there yet, Glo.

780

So,

781

That also hits on why

Deputy Dumbass is on my

782

shit list.

783

But The sheriff pulls up and deputizes

the hunter and says that, someone, that

784

he's got an escaped fugitive on the loose

and he needs to go find him, so this

785

way the hunter can kill him legally,

basically and the hunter and Houston

786

eventually catch up to Hawk, who's

running around the desert, basically and

787

meanwhile, The sheriff returns to the

sheriff's department and tells Deputy

788

Dumbass to go get the gang of gross.

789

When the deputy asks if the sheriff

really has to do that, the sheriff

790

says, When you've got a good pack

of hounds, you've gotta give them

791

some meat every now and then.

792

Laura: This is disgusting obviously

for a whole bunch of reasons, right?

793

But the other reason in here that

I'm disgusted is these goons.

794

are not any sort of law enforcement.

795

They're just like his off the books guys

that he does, has to do stuff, you know?

796

Beth: His enforcers, yeah.

797

Every fascist has them!

798

Yeah, and this is where my issue

with Deputy Dumbass comes in.

799

Because he's Oh, don't do that!

800

And then the little weenie

spineless little motherfucker Like,

801

just goes and gets him, knowing

full well it's gonna happen.

802

Laura: Yeah.

803

He doesn't have enough brain cells

to rub together and try to figure

804

out something out of this yet.

805

Yeah.

806

Beth: They go grab the goons, or they

go grab, we can't say that anymore.

807

He goes grabs the gang

808

of

809

Glo: can't say goons?

810

Beth: No,

811

Laura: Oh, oops.

812

I definitely

813

did.

814

Beth: Well, goon, I don't think

it's racist, but goon and gooning is

815

something involving off or something

816

Glo: my, yeah, my students definitely use

that as a sex term now, not a, yeah, this

817

is glow high school teacher over here.

818

Yeah, gooning means

something totally different.

819

So if you say goon squad,

they're going to think

820

Beth: They're gonna think

821

you're in a

822

literal circle, Jerk.

823

Glo: Shout out to our Gen

824

Beth: maybe you are.

825

Like,

826

no judgment,

827

Laura: work on two levels then?

828

Like I don't know.

829

Beth: I guess.

830

With them it does.

831

Laura: Yeah.

832

Beth: Anyway.

833

It's at this point that Dom rolls up

in Airwolf, flips the zebra print jeep.

834

What the

835

Laura: Yeah,

836

Beth: And

837

Laura: King, I'm telling ya.

838

Beth: yeah, it really,

it's giving Tiger King.

839

And the hunter guy dies immediately.

840

And The Houston guy ends up with a broken

841

leg at the

842

paws of a very angry Sam the Lion.

843

Laura: Yeah.

844

Cut to those idiots in the jail cell

laughing about their impending gang

845

rape and Caitlin kicks one of them

in the ass, but now she's emasculated

846

him yeah, he's got to take her down.

847

He tackles her.

848

But then, suddenly, Airwolf!

849

Glo: Yay, Airwolf.

850

Beth: So at this point

Stringfellow's like, give us Caitlyn.

851

We're gonna shoot ya after he blows

up the dude's car cuz fuck yeah

852

And what does what is the response

853

Laura: The sheriff decides to kill

854

And Deputy Dumbass finally grows his pair.

855

Beth: better

856

late than never I

857

guess

858

Laura: some of us

859

are just late bloomers, that's all.

860

And String shoots up the whole

jail because the sheriff won't

861

stop shooting at him, mm.

862

Glo: okay, can you guys

help me straighten this out?

863

Okay.

864

Okay.

865

Caitlin does look like she's like.

866

Straightening her pants?

867

So did this happen?

868

Beth: I think it did,

869

Glo: she just bounces back and she's just

ready to go to action like holy shit.

870

Beth: yeah.

871

And that whole scene just made me really

sick to my stomach because of that.

872

And also because of how chill

Deputy Dumbass and the Sheriff

873

were while they were hearing her

874

screams.

875

Laura: Mm

876

Glo: Okay.

877

All right.

878

Laura: Yeah, so she

gets to her helicopter,

879

Beth: Yes.

880

Deputy Dumbass gets her to a helicopter.

881

She's in there safely.

882

And then he gets shot to death by

the sheriff before the sheriff gets

883

blown up with all of his hounds

884

Laura: catch that he got shot to death.

885

Beth: Yeah,

886

it's like a super quick

887

Glo: I didn't I don't even

have that in my notes.

888

Laura: Everything is very fast paced here

889

Beth: Which, I think that's the other

thing that made this interesting.

890

episode more palatable than

season one was the pacing.

891

The pacing was significantly better.

892

For all the shit I gave the editor

earlier, I do understand why we did a big

893

long drawn out flight scene because it's

the first time Airwolf is taking flight

894

in season two you gotta make it cool.

895

But the pacing this first episode of the

season was, I think, significantly better.

896

And it made it easier to watch,

897

Laura: Yeah.

898

Beth: some extent.

899

Then Caitlin flies her helicopter next to

Airwolf and is all like, Thanks y'all but

900

I'm still Deputy Ben Curley, so I gotta

arrest you for blowing up the sheriff's

901

office and killing all those people.

902

And

903

Glo: Ben Curley

904

Beth: he's all LOL.

905

Laura: Yeah.

906

I'm a helicopter jet, ma'am.

907

Beth: It's like, I can't.

908

I can't.

909

You break it up.

910

And then he zooms off.

911

Laura: And Santini gives him

some shit about how cute that

912

lady was, and sings the yellow

rose of Texas to ending montage.

913

Beth: Yes,

914

Which I'd only ever heard

in wrestling context.

915

So that was interesting to

hear it outside of that Yeah,

916

Laura: That's funny.

917

Beth: because one of the Von Eriks

I think was called the yellow

918

rose of Texas So I've heard it

in that context, but that's it

919

Laura: Interesting.

920

And scene.

921

Beth: and

922

Glo: That was sweet britches, guys.

923

Beth: Britches

924

Laura: Yep.

925

Beth: I feel bad about the cinnamon

roll I drew at the top of the

926

episode now, my episode notes.

927

Laura: If only.

928

If only it had been cinnamon rolls.

929

Beth: I was so excited, I was hoping that

it would just be a cinnamon roll shop,

930

Glo: I am gonna say that I love

this new character in Caitlyn.

931

I think she's great.

932

She's definitely got that, I don't

know, Princess Diana vibe to her look,

933

but also Manic Pixie Dream Girl, but

also has a head on her shoulders.

934

She's interesting.

935

Yeah.

936

Laura: Do we think we get

to keep Caitlyn, though?

937

Beth: I think we do, cause

she's in the opening credits,

938

like she's not, cause and I thought,

maybe that's how they're doing guest

939

stars now, but then there's the guest

starring thing and she's not in that.

940

She's like in the opening

credits So I think

941

and it would give I think a little

bit more balance to it because

942

you've got Dom full chaos gremlin

943

Laura: Huh.

944

Beth: Stringfellow emo weird boy.

945

You need like you need deputy Ben

946

Laura: You know what I

want from Caitlin now?

947

I want her to be like

Stringfellow's Javert, right?

948

Am I getting the, I'm not

getting the characters confused.

949

I

950

Glo: Heard following him.

951

Laura: yes.

952

Glo: man

953

a fugitive

954

Laura: him down.

955

Beth: Dude

956

Glo: That would be

957

Laura: I would love that for her.

958

Give me that.

959

Beth: That'd be so cute, but they

sass each other the whole time?

960

Laura: There's a little sexual

tension there, which you don't

961

really get from the other

962

story.

963

Yeah,

964

Glo: obviously beautiful, right?

965

She's obviously somebody who you know,

they could have crushes on they could

966

have a conquest, but she's not overtly

sexy so They almost give her the girl

967

next door, cute little sister vibes.

968

So I think that there definitely

will be sexual tension going on.

969

But not so much that she's like the other

female characters that Stringfellow has

970

been into where it's just this smoldering,

971

yeah, like Gabrielle or the smoldering,

sexy kind of thing that makes

972

the women have to get killed off.

973

Yeah.

974

Laura: I think we've hurt

975

Beth.

976

She is dying back

977

Beth: You didn't betray me!

978

It was the wine!

979

wine betrayed me!

980

Laura: Yeah.

981

Curses.

982

Beth: No I think you're right.

983

I think this is going to be a

very like will they or won't

984

they situation

985

And my prediction is that in the

final episode of the series They're

986

gonna end up together, but not until

then, because before then, she'll

987

Glo: Oh!

988

Beth: I think he'll get

his happy ever after

989

with

990

Laura: Yeah, he's got to get

his brother back first though.

991

He's really focused on the brother.

992

Beth: Get Saint John

993

Glo: Oh, St.

994

John.

995

St.

996

Laura: Yeah.

997

I still can't believe I

didn't know that was a thing.

998

Glo: All right, Beth.

999

What are we watching next?

00:41:59,889 --> 00:42:02,119

Laura: Yeah, you've got

to calculate for us.

00:42:02,119 --> 00:42:04,179

Do our magic millennial math.

00:42:04,179 --> 00:42:04,329

Beth: Okay,

00:42:05,079 --> 00:42:07,229

Laura: the rules of the ancient ways.

00:42:07,229 --> 00:42:11,629

Glo: For those of you just tuning in,

we do a MASH game because we're girls

00:42:12,459 --> 00:42:12,669

Laura: Of a

00:42:12,669 --> 00:42:12,999

certain

00:42:12,999 --> 00:42:13,359

age.

00:42:13,399 --> 00:42:14,109

Glo: age, right?

00:42:14,109 --> 00:42:17,089

It's a very scientific formula

that we've come up with for

00:42:17,089 --> 00:42:19,319

choosing our next episode.

00:42:19,319 --> 00:42:19,819

Beth: Alright.

00:42:19,819 --> 00:42:20,089

Great.

00:42:20,089 --> 00:42:22,209

Okay, I believe it is Glow's turn.

00:42:22,859 --> 00:42:24,069

Glo: Okay, what do I gotta do?

00:42:24,069 --> 00:42:25,779

Beth: Tell me when to stop the spiral.

00:42:26,029 --> 00:42:27,039

Glo: two, one, stop!

00:42:27,039 --> 00:42:30,799

Beth: Two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

00:42:30,799 --> 00:42:34,579

Okay, we're gonna watch,

we're skipping three episodes.

00:42:35,129 --> 00:42:39,899

That is putting us at Season 2, episode 4.

00:42:39,899 --> 00:42:40,949

I don't know what it is.

00:42:41,209 --> 00:42:42,359

I'm gonna go grab my phone that I

00:42:42,359 --> 00:42:42,729

threw.

00:42:42,919 --> 00:42:43,239

Hold on.

00:42:43,779 --> 00:42:46,049

Laura: I have the power of

the internet right here.

00:42:46,249 --> 00:42:46,909

Let me just

00:42:47,169 --> 00:42:48,419

Beth: I have the power of the internet.

00:42:48,419 --> 00:42:49,679

It's just on the floor.

00:42:49,959 --> 00:42:54,219

Laura: I'm showing that season

two, episode four, right?

00:42:54,219 --> 00:42:56,739

Would be, The Truth About Holly.

00:42:56,789 --> 00:42:57,569

Beth: Oh, it looks like it's

00:42:57,764 --> 00:43:03,284

Laura: don't 100 percent know, but the

description says, Rescued from a drug

00:43:03,284 --> 00:43:09,244

kingpin with Hawk's help, Santini's niece

becomes increasingly jealous of Caitlin.

00:43:09,244 --> 00:43:12,294

Glo: is it because Caitlyn

and Stringfellow have a thing?

00:43:12,294 --> 00:43:17,374

Or is it because Santini is taking Caitlyn

under his wing and treats her like family?

00:43:18,219 --> 00:43:22,099

Beth: Is it because they did finally

start that cinnamon roll shop?

00:43:22,099 --> 00:43:26,942

And Holly doesn't get as

many cinnamon rolls as

00:43:27,067 --> 00:43:27,667

Glo: Hmm.

00:43:27,804 --> 00:43:28,004

Laura: If

00:43:28,049 --> 00:43:30,339

Beth: Or hers have half

the amount of icing?

00:43:30,484 --> 00:43:33,544

Glo: But you guys know, this

means that Caitlyn comes back.

00:43:33,604 --> 00:43:35,804

Laura: Yeah, this is confirmed right here.

00:43:36,343 --> 00:43:37,343

Glo: that makes me happy.

00:43:37,843 --> 00:43:41,393

Beth: It would be a weird fakeout to

have her in the opening credits and then

00:43:41,393 --> 00:43:42,403

to never see her again.

00:43:42,993 --> 00:43:43,583

For sure.

00:43:43,763 --> 00:43:47,033

Laura: I wouldn't put it past the Strode

to just have poorly structured credits,

00:43:47,033 --> 00:43:47,513

Beth: that is

00:43:47,558 --> 00:43:50,248

Glo: This Holly lady sounds

pretty expendable, though.

00:43:50,353 --> 00:43:50,753

Beth: women.

00:43:51,303 --> 00:43:51,703

She's

00:43:52,303 --> 00:43:52,813

maybe.

00:43:52,943 --> 00:43:54,843

Glo: gonna get our hogtie count up again?

00:43:54,843 --> 00:43:57,543

But

00:43:57,643 --> 00:43:59,403

Beth: Ho, ho, ho, ho!

00:43:59,723 --> 00:44:00,833

Laura: kingpin, right?

00:44:00,863 --> 00:44:04,523

We rescue, if we rescue her from

the drug kingpin in this episode,

00:44:04,523 --> 00:44:06,863

we could potentially have some

00:44:07,073 --> 00:44:07,823

Beth: A hogtie.

00:44:07,883 --> 00:44:14,553

Glo: it doesn't fall into our

western spy Nazi category, so

00:44:14,553 --> 00:44:15,043

Maybe.

00:44:15,303 --> 00:44:17,943

Laura: Yeah where is

this drug kingpin setting

00:44:17,973 --> 00:44:20,074

that could, Influence it, or

00:44:20,164 --> 00:44:21,194

Beth: Is it in the West?

00:44:21,449 --> 00:44:24,379

Laura: yeah what level

of spyage do we need to

00:44:24,514 --> 00:44:30,484

Beth: He's gonna travel back in time to

00:44:30,888 --> 00:44:31,508

Glo: All right.

00:44:31,868 --> 00:44:33,058

You heard it here, folks.

00:44:33,058 --> 00:44:33,848

Beth: Alright!

00:44:33,898 --> 00:44:35,668

Well, thanks for listening.

00:44:35,908 --> 00:44:37,058

Come back next week.

00:44:37,058 --> 00:44:37,658

Okay, bye!

00:44:37,903 --> 00:44:38,553

Glo: Bye, guys.

00:44:38,923 --> 00:44:39,813

Laura: Bye!