Radiant Icons, let’s talk dating in 2025. 😏

In this week’s Tea Time, Amanda spills the unfiltered truth about crushing on potential—and why “almost right” just isn’t enough. She opens up about the suitors who tested her boundaries, the lessons that reshaped her self-worth, and the power of holding your standards high.

From spotting the illusion before your heart does to becoming your own best boyfriend, Amanda shows how reclaiming your energy and choosing yourself first can completely transform how you date—and how you love.

Plus, catch the latest merch drops, socials, and her signature scent secrets—because icons never dim their glow. 💖

✨ This is your wake-up call, icon: stop romanticizing potential. Start choosing yourself so loudly that no one else gets the chance to make you forget who you are. 💋

Connect with Amanda:

Follow Amanda's DTBI Journey!

Submit your order for the Two Years, One Iconic Celebration Sale!

Stream the Radiant Reign Era Playlist!

Explore the DTBI shop today!

Discover your iconic signature scent with Oakcha!

Got a question for Amanda or a topic you'd love to hear discussed on a future episode? Submit your question to the "Dare To Be Iconic Hotline" today!

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome to Dare To Be Iconic

00:32 The 2025 Dating Dilemma

02:06 DTBI 2 Year Sale

03:32 Lesson 1: Emotional Boundaries

14:19 Lesson 2: The Illusion of Potential

17:06 Lesson 3: Upholding Your Standards

22:39 Lesson 4: Be Your Own Best Boyfriend

25:45 Discover Your Signature Scent

26:44 See You Next Week

What's up, radiant icons and welcome back to Dare To Be

2

Iconic, the podcast made for icons

who are daring to be themselves.

3

I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli

and for today's Tea Time sesh.

4

Oh my goodness, you guys, I'm so excited.

5

Today we are spilling the tea on the

dating dilemma because I, for one radiant

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icons am so tired of crushing over

potential, and I know I am not the only

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one that struggles with this because

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then you also know that dating sucks.

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That the options are

honestly, like where are they?

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Like where are the options?

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Genuinely, I don't know.

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I don't see them.

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But also the options that do

pop up, that do pop up my way,

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I, I suddenly am blind, right?

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And I crush over the

potential of them, right?

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The bare minimum actions that

they give me, I'm all of a sudden

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la la land, go go eyes for them.

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Like, what?

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No, no, no, no, no.

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I'm so tired of that.

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So today's tea time sesh is not a rant

on how much I am anti-men, even though

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we all know that is very true here.

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But today's tea time

sesh is a wake up call.

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It's a wake up call for every radiant icon

who is so tired of crushing over potential

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and who mistakes potential as partnership.

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Because I, for one, have done

that and I am putting a stop to

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that today, right here, right

now with today's tea time sesh.

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this era of dating and singleness has

taught me so much because I have learned

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a lesson from every suitor who has thrown

their love and affection for me my way.

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And well, I'm spilling the tea about

it right here, right now, today.

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But before we get into that piping

hot tea, make sure to connect

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with me on socials Radiant icons

on Instagram and TikTok, it's

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@amandapaolicelli_ and @daretobeiconic_.

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And if you're on LinkedIn radiant icons,

you already know what I'm gonna say.

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Make sure to connect with meon there.

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It's Amanda Paolicelli and all of

my socials can be found in the show

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notes below and also radiance icons.

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One more thing, if you are

watching the podcast on YouTube.

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Hi.

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Hello, how are you?

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Then you may have noticed that I

am wearing one of our pieces from

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the Radiant Reign Merch collection.

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It is the, I have Seen Your Ex's.

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I Am That Bitch Baby t.

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It honestly may be one of my favorite

pieces from the whole entire collection.

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Um, but we are running an

exclusive two year sale.

47

You can find all that information, which

includes one Radiant Reign merch piece

48

of your choosing and the breakup journal:

Breakup With The Past, Fall In Love With

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The Future at a discounted rate that

you cannot find anywhere else, you can

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secure that deal by making sure to click

the link in the show notes below for our

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Two Year, One Iconic Celebration Sale.

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All right, Radiant icons

enough with the chitchatting.

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Let's get to the good stuff, shall we?

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Let's get to that piping hot tea

that you all have been waiting for.

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So are you ready?,

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Radiant icons, because your

tea time sesh is starting now.

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Lesson number one has been one of the

hardest lessons in this new era of like

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dating and singleness, but it just keeps

coming up and it's clearly a pattern.

59

So, oh God, I hate talking about it.

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I hate talking about it 'cause it like

makes me really sad and like emotional.

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But you know what?

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It dare to be iconic, right?

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I lay my heart on my sleeve

for you guys, and here it is.

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The first lesson that I'm learning in

this new era of dating and singleness

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is that there's clearly a pattern.

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And the pattern is, is that these boys,

they don't want an emotional connection.

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They don't even want commitment.

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They don't even want emotional depth.

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All they want is physical access to you.

70

And notate how I'm

seeing boys and not men.

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'cause even though I'm anti-men, I also

believe that a man, a true man, would

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not have a problem with you having

a physical or emotional boundary.

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A boy will though.

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A boy will have a problem with you

having any type of boundary, whether

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it's physical or emotional, and that's

when you gotta run the other way.

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But it also doesn't negate all of

these feelings of disappointment and

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discouragement that come up when you

face it time and time again is this,

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you know, being made to feel like shit

because you have a physical boundary.

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And if you've been listening to The Dare

to Be Iconic podcast for a while, then

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you know, when I was with my current

ex-boyfriend that I did a Dare to Date

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series and one of my tea time sessions

within that series was my conversation

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with my good friend Becs, and it was about

sensuality and sexuality and healing.

83

And I had mentioned in that tea time sesh,

oh God, I'm like getting really nervous.

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It makes me really

nervous to talk about, um.

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In that tea time sesh with my friend Becs.

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I had mentioned that when my current

ex-boyfriend asked to kiss me for the

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first time, I went into a full-blown panic

attack because it's linked to trauma.

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Physical intimacy is something

that is really hard for me, and

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it's always has been hard for me

because I will never be the girl

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that kisses a random guy in the bar.

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I just will never be that girl

because I don't feel safe with that.

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For me, physical intimacy, a kiss, a hug,

holding hands, whatever it may be, right?

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That's a lot for me.

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And I need to know that person.

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I need to feel safe.

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I need to feel comfortable.

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And I know that in today's society, it's

like maybe not cool to be that, that girl.

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Um, and it's, I'm, I am the outlier

in that and like, it's okay.

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I, I'm.

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I am firm in my beliefs, and

I have always advocated for

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myself when it comes to that.

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But being in this new era of dating and

being 26 years old and navigating these

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waters and seeing this pattern time and

time again of these boys just being upset

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that you won't kiss them or you won't hold

their hand or you won't give them a hug,

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it gets like really discouraging at times.

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And, um, it's just more

disappointing than anything

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because it's like, what's so bad with

not being comfortable with kissing you?

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What's so bad with not

wanting to hold your hand?

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I, I, I don't know you.

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I, I want to feel seen.

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I want to feel heard, I want to feel safe.

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I want to know that if I

don't feel comfortable at any

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moment that I can say stop.

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I can say no, and that you won't try

anything that you won't push further.

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I'm.

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I don't know you, like, why am I

going to share saliva with you?

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Right?

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Like that's what kissing

is, and for me, that's just

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personally, that's just who I am.

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Honestly, that's just where I'm at radiant

icons and that's always how I've been.

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I'm not ashamed that those

are my values and my beliefs.

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I'm not embarrassed by them by any means.

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But I would be lying to you if I

didn't say, it kind of got to me of

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like, oh, what's so wrong with me?

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That by me telling you I don't wanna kiss

you or that I don't want to hold your

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hand, or that I don't want to hug you.

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Like, what's so wrong with that?

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Like.

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Am I not more than just my body?

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Am I not more than just my lips?

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Am I not more than just my sex appeal?

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I know I'm extremely hot.

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I know that, but there is so

much more to me than just my

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attractiveness, than just me kissing

you, than just me holding your hand.

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Whatever the fuck it is right?

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There is so much more to me than the

physicalness that I don't even know

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how to explain it, but it's just so,

it's frustrating and it's discouraging,

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and honestly, it just makes me, it

just makes me feel bad sometimes, and

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it kind of makes me maybe a little

bit shameful even though I'm so firm

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and advocating for myself and I will

never not stop advocating for myself.

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It's something that's really, really

hard and I keep noticing it, and

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sometimes it's like, will I ever

find someone like Will I, will?

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I.

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And that's like really hard because

like when I was on my single girls

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trip to Miami after the season two

finale, we went to South Beach.

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My friend Melanie and I, and

as I tell you again, all these

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men were like in love with me.

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They were tripping over

themselves, breaking iPads just

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to tell me that they loved me.

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And like obviously like

duh, like I get it.

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But you know, there, there was this

Italian boy that we had met at the

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nightclub on our first night and

he was staring at me all night.

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And I'm the type of girl who, you know,

when I notice that you've been looking

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at me, I'm not gonna be shy to say

something when you finally do approach me.

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And he finally came up to me and I

said, well, what took you so long?

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You've been looking at me all night?

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Like, really?

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Like what took you so long?

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And um, he was, we were

just talking and everything.

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And then at one point.

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He was like, oh, um, do you

know what the French kiss is?

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And I remember being like, this guy

is not trying to kiss me right now.

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Like, this is such a weird pickup

line, but okay, here we go.

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And I had told him, yeah.

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And he goes, do you want me to show, do

you want me to show you the Italian one?

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And I said, no.

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I remember stepping back, shaking

my finger no to him as well and

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being like, I'm not that girl, man.

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Like I, you're not just gonna be

able to kiss me out of random.

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Like, I really have to know you, but, but

I can dance with you and I can give you

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my Instagram, but I'm not gonna kiss you.

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And he was like, oh,

well, at least I tried.

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And at that moment I was

like, okay, I respect him.

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Like he tried, he shot a shot

and he took no for an answer.

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Like, okay, perfect.

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And we were talking and

everything was fine.

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And I remember going back to

the hotel room, he, he and ha

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hoing with Melanie about it.

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And then I remember being like.

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Well, do you think he just wants

to like, like, sleep with me?

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Like, do you think that's,

that's what his play is.

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And we both looked at each other,

and again, we're like the blind

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leading the blind over here.

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And we're like, no, there's no way.

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And so then the next day we were planning

to meet him at 11 with his friends.

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And so we did, which is

like this big club in Miami.

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And um, we did, but before it,

he had texted me something of

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like, oh, like la la la, la.

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Oh, you can just go home with me.

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And I remember being so turned off

by that because I literally just told

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you that I wasn't gonna kiss you.

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Like, what makes you think that

I'm, I'm gonna go home with you.

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No, absolutely not.

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Like you wish, like you

actually genuinely wish.

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Um, and so I didn't answer him.

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And then we ran into each other at 11.

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Briefly whatever.

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I had gone in the ick, so I was

like, yeah, no, I'm not, I'm not

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even gonna try to give this like

guy any time of my day or my night.

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The next day, you know, we were texting

a little bit and I was like, well, I hope

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you have a safe flight home, whatever.

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And he goes, oh, well you're

gonna be leaving Miami without

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kissing me worse for you.

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And he did like the

laughing, crying face emoji.

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And I literally remember looking up at

Melanie 'cause we were getting ready

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for the Radiant Reign merch photo shoot.

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And I remember looking up at her being

like, this guy was literally disgusting.

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Like, worse for you.

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Excuse you.

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You are acting as if

you are the prize, sir.

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You are not the prize.

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I don't, I in fact,

actually radiant icons.

213

I really do wanna say this.

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I don't understand.

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Where men think that they are the

prizes now because that is not true.

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We are the prize.

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And prize is do not go looking

for the people winning them.

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Right.

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They don't.

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So for this man to think that he's the

prize here and act all high and mighty

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of like, oh, well, worse for you because

you're not kissing me, what the hell

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are you on, dude, you are not the prize.

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I am.

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So then I texted him back and I

said, kissing me is a privilege.

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And not everyone gets that

privilege because that's right.

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I've only kissed three guys in my entire

life and if I kiss you, you know you

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are the luckiest guy in this entire

world because I decided to kiss you.

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But anyway, I told him that and

he was like, yeah, I noticed.

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You are disgusting.

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Disgusting.

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And like he is not the only guy who

has made a slick ass comment about me

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being like, kissing me is a privilege

because it is because I am the prize.

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So I wanna remind you, radiant

icons, oh my God, this fueled me up.

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I needed this energy for this

part of the episode, but still.

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I want you to remember radiant

icons, that even when it gets

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discouraging and disappointing.

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I'm right there with you.

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But we need to remember that we are

the prize and that our boundaries

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are firm and right and valid.

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And if a boy makes you feel like shit

about it, he can go fuck himself.

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Genuinely.

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That is true big sister, tough

love Amanda telling you that that

243

guy can go fuck himself because

honestly, I needed that reminder.

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'cause I was really sad talking

about it in the beginning

245

and being so discouraging.

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But you know what?

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No, that guy's a loser.

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He's a boy.

249

You need a man, and a man will be

trying to win you over because he

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knows that you are the damn prize.

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Now let's get to lesson two.

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Lesson number two is the

illusion of potential.

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And this lesson right here is

inspired by, well, let's call him Mr.

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Canada.

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That's right radiant icons.

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I have suitors in different country codes.

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So for my ex-boyfriend who's probably

listening to this, who stalks my social

258

media, you can shove that up your ass.

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Mr.

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Canada had my head spinning

with all of his gestures.

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I'm talking, I barely moved a

muscle and this man is giving

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me the jacket off of his back.

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I'm talking about this man is

cleaning my camera lens and giving

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me all the good content because

content is important to me.

265

And, um, well, since you left me

on read, you're gonna get content

266

made out of you right now, Mr.

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Canada, and well that's how I

realized the bar was in hell.

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The bar was in hell because I was

falling for the potential of him, right?

269

I was crushing over the

potential of his actions.

270

I have apparently never been treated

the way I was treated with Mr.

271

Canada, and he barely knew me.

272

Within five minutes of me meeting him,

this man is bending over backwards for me.

273

This man is running across the room

to help me carry the drinks and the

274

food to the table because my kitten

heels were getting stuck in the carpet.

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This man is literally doing

stuff while my ex-boyfriend

276

would've actually rather not do.

277

That's, that's how I know the bar is in

hell, because I was crushing over the

278

potential of this man's actions 'cause his

actions to me were what was attractive.

279

Another example of this illusion

of potential radiant icons would

280

be with my current ex-boyfriend.

281

With my current ex-boyfriend, I

disclosed to him some very private and

282

personal information that I trusted

him with and that good reaction he

283

had to my disclosure, blinded me to

his consistent mistreatment of me.

284

It blinded me to how

badly he was treating me.

285

I was so focused on his moments of decency

when it came to that disclosure that

286

I ignored his patterns of disrespect.

287

I will never do that again.

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And so when it comes to this

illusion of potential radiant

289

icons, please don't do what I did.

290

Don't stay in a relationship because

you're blinded by the moment of decency

291

that they gave you that you ignore

the constant disrespect or don't crush

292

over a guy that literally gives you the

bare minimum treatment because again,

293

all of this potential isn't enough.

294

Potential is just a fantasy.

295

It is just a fantasy, radiant icons.

296

So stop falling for the potential

and start falling for the

297

consistency of their actions.

298

Lesson number three is

all about standards.

299

And honestly, this lesson in particular

is inspired by all of my suitors because

300

all of them, all of them, remind me that

I have to keep my standards high because

301

these men, going back to lesson two,

are really at the bare fucking minimum.

302

But anyway, any who I'm gonna pull from

my recent ex first before we go into the

303

other ones, because it's just too good.

304

It's just too good to not talk about

this as the first example for standards.

305

So when my current ex and I were

towards the end of our relationship,

306

there was a week where we weren't

really speaking to each other.

307

We were kind of giving each

other distance, trying to figure

308

out what we were going to do.

309

And on my end when I said what I

need to say and kind of like cleared

310

up everything and gave him my

perspective, I decided that I was

311

going to give him an additional month.

312

I was gonna give him 30 days to

see if he, now that he now knows my

313

perspective on things and things like

that let's see if he gets better.

314

Here's the God honest truth

about that radiant icons.

315

Men will never get better, okay?

316

They will never get better.

317

Do not give them a 30 day

trial, because you know what?

318

Men never give us trial periods.

319

They never give us trial periods.

320

So why the hell are we giving them one?

321

Why?

322

Why?

323

Why?

324

And I'm calling myself out on

that one in particular because I

325

was gonna give him another month.

326

Stupid, stupid.

327

I might as well have written dumb

fucking bitch on my forehead.

328

But you know what?

329

We live and we learn.

330

Right.

331

But that taught me that I

need to up my standards.

332

Why was I going to settle for his constant

mistreatment of me and his disrespect?

333

Why was I gonna do that to myself

when I know I'm too fucking

334

amazing to deal with that?

335

Right?

336

Right.

337

We need to know our standards and

uphold them, particularly in these

338

situations where we are falling

for the potential of someone.

339

And I do it time and time

again, and I know I'm not alone.

340

Okay, there's this guy.

341

Let's call him ATL guy.

342

All right.

343

Let's call him ATL guy.

344

ATL guy.

345

Well, he confessed his love for me.

346

Three years too late.

347

He told me why I was in Miami.

348

He dms me and said, Amanda, you know what?

349

I have feelings for you.

350

I've had feelings for you for three years.

351

I didn't know what to do about it.

352

This, this, and that, blah, blah, blah.

353

Giving me every excuse under the book.

354

I learned from my ex-boyfriend that I

wasn't gonna put up with bullshit anymore.

355

I'm not.

356

If you want me as a man, you

have to fucking go for it.

357

None of these bullshit excuses of

blah, blah, blah and blah, blah blah,

358

and this and that, and la blah, blah.

359

I didn't know how to tell you.

360

No, no.

361

I am too fucking amazing for

you to have all these excuses.

362

If you want me, show me and show

me consistently that you want me.

363

I'm not gonna put up with excuses

and you shouldn't either, radiant

364

icons again, like I said in lesson

number one, we are the prize.

365

And also, let's just

keep on going, shall we?

366

When it comes to upholding our standards,

right, and remembering the prizes that

367

we are, if a man ever tells you, or I

shouldn't even say, tells, ask you if,

368

Hey, what do you bring to the table?

369

Ask them in return, what

do they bring to the table?

370

I remember when my ex-boyfriend asked me

this, and I told him I was really offended

371

by this question because, excuse me, how

do you not know what I bring to the table?

372

I'm successful.

373

I am smart.

374

I am beautiful.

375

I am funny.

376

I bring so much to the table.

377

What the hell do you bring?

378

All you bring is

emotional turmoil, my boy.

379

That's what every man brings into

your life is emotional turmoil.

380

Okay?

381

So when they ask you, oh, what

do you bring to the table?

382

I want you to look them in their

eye and tell them don't ask me that

383

question again and walk the hell away.

384

That's how you uphold your

standards 'cause how dare you?

385

How dare you not know how amazing I am?

386

Right?

387

I think the most important thing to

remember when it comes to lesson three

388

upholding your standards is that you

need to remember to own your power.

389

Owning your power is not intimidating,

it is magnetic, and particularly in

390

the the two examples that I shared,

right when my ex-boyfriend had asked

391

me what I brought to the table, or when

ATL boy had confessed his love for me

392

and expected me to bend over backwards

and say that I felt the same way.

393

No, I owned my power in that moment.

394

And I said, whoa, that's a

really disrespectful question.

395

How do you not know what

I bring to the table?

396

What do you bring?

397

Right?

398

I flipped it onto him.

399

Same thing with ATL boy.

400

Why do you expect me to say

that I'm in love with you?

401

You waited too late and your

excuses just aren't good enough.

402

I owned my power, and I upheld my

standards because I will never, ever,

403

ever let a man walk over me again.

404

I will never let a man do me dirty.

405

I will never fall for potential again.

406

And that's what I wanna challenge you,

radiant icons when it comes to lesson

407

three, and maybe you're having trouble

with upholding your standards because

408

maybe you are blinded by the potential of

someone that's okay, that's normal, like

409

trust me, I know that's normal, but just

remember, you need to own your power.

410

Owning your power is going

to lead you into every other

411

decision on this dating journey.

412

Own your power, uphold your

standards, and don't settle for

413

the bare fucking minimum because

these men never settle for anything.

414

So why should you?

415

And our last lesson for today's

tea time sesh is that you'll always

416

be the best boyfriend to yourself.

417

So remember your self-worth radiant icons,

especially in this stage of dating, right?

418

Again, like I said beforehand,

419

genuinely just sucks, it just sucks.

420

Like, where are the gentlemen?

421

Where is the courting?

422

Like, where are the healed men

that go to therapy consistently,

423

like I don't know where they are.

424

If you know where they are, please

let me know because I'm looking

425

for them and I can't find them.

426

But , since we all know it's kind of

impossible to find that we need to

427

remind ourselves that in this era, we

need to remember to date ourselves.

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That's why it's so important to go on

those solo dates and treat ourselves like

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we would want our boyfriend to treat us.

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Because honestly, at the end of

the day, until we find the man that

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will sweep us off our feet and be

our prince charming and more, we

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have to be our own best boyfriend.

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And I know it sucks, but that's the

God honest truth 'cause honestly,

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radiant icons, it is so much better.

435

It is so much better to be the

single girl that everyone wonders.

436

Oh my God.

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Like why is that girl still single?

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She's so amazing.

439

Right?

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Then be the girl that everyone is like,

why the hell is she still with that loser?

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Like I rather be the girl that

everyone is still wondering, how

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the hell is she not taken yet?

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She's too damn amazing.

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Like what?

445

Like, oh my goodness.

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I rather be that girl than the girl

that people wonder why she's still with

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that loser who treats her like shit.

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So I will intentionally stay single

and take myself on dates where I know I

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will treat myself the best possible way.

450

I can show myself the love

that I know that I deserve.

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So whenever that man comes into the

picture that is lucky enough to be

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in my presence, I already know what

to expect because I had the highest

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expectations for myself because I've

upheld those standards, right, that

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we just talked about in lesson three.

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I'm not accepting the bare minimum like

we spoke about in lesson two, right?

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With that illusion of potential.

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And I know that the pattern will finally

be broken like we spoke about in lesson

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one, that pattern of men only wanting

something physical and not emotional.

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So yeah, be the best boyfriend to

yourself, radiant icon, until the man that

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is everything and more to you comes along.

461

Because again, we are what we are.

462

The prizes, we are the prizes, radiant

icons, and prizes do not look for

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the people that are winning them.

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So we just have to keep on going

on our path, doing our own thing,

465

and the man who is everything and

more will come into our life and

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win us like the prize that we are.

467

And that's on period.

468

Okay, radiant icons.

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I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

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As you know, we are in our radiant

reign era and for me in this era, I have

471

been finding little things that make me

feel powerful, that make me feel sexy,

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that make me feel unapologetically me.

473

And one of those is my

iconic signature scent.

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I have crafted mine with.

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Osha.

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I do sinful layered with that girl,

vanilla, and it is delectable.

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It is sinful and it is

sexy if I say so myself.

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Every spritz just feels

like confidence bottled up.

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It is my reminder that I am evolving

for myself, not anyone's dusty ass sun.

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And you can have that too.

481

Radiant icons.

482

Make sure to build your own fragrance.

483

Through Oakcha use the discount

code linked in the show notes

484

below to save yourself some cash.

485

Because icons do not follow trends.

486

We set the standard.

487

All right, radiant icons.

488

That is your tea time session for today.

489

If you enjoyed today's episode, make

sure to subscribe to leave a rating, a

490

review to tell your friends about us,

to tell everyone and anyone, because

491

you know, we love more Radiance icons

and our iconic community of ours.

492

Honestly, you guys today was one of

the most fun episodes of my life.

493

I just love spilling the tea about

my life and all the lessons that

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I'm learning 'cause I know that

there is another radiant icon who

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is listening to this right now that

you know, can relate on some level.

496

So if me sharing my life and

spilling the tea about it all

497

helps one of you guys then.

498

Then my job is done, my day is made.

499

And I just love you guys so much

'cause I get to do what I love

500

every single day because of you all.

501

Speaking of you all, you all have

sent in so many amazing questions

502

for next week's episode, which

is our dedicated hotline episode.

503

Woo.

504

I love the Dare To Be Iconic hotline,

but it is not too late to submit

505

your questions, so make sure to

click the link in the show notes

506

below to submit your questions

to the Dare To Be Iconic hotline.

507

But anyway, I will chat

with y'all next week.

508

Remember, radiant icons,

Dare To Be Iconic.

509

Bye.