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Transforming Adversity into Achievement: Ken Miller's Chronicle
15th September 2025 • Voice over Work - An Audiobook Sampler • Russell Newton
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Ken Miller:

I am a three time convicted felon.

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I've spent years behind bars for the

crimes that I committed as a drug

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addict with an Ivy League education.

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We have a real dearth of mentorship within

the black community, black male community.

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We have a problem with

black men not being there.

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I was in prison with them.

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I know we weren't there.

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I can do life.

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I'm not afraid of life.

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And most importantly,

I'm not afraid of me.

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I'm not in a biblical or an

adversarial relationship with self.

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I'm not.

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Russell Newton: Hello listeners, and

welcome back to Social Skills Coaching,

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where you become more confident, more

charismatic, and more productive.

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We're excited again to

introduce a guest with us today.

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We have Ken Miller, author, speaker,

entrepreneur, businessman, a long

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list of, characteristics and,

adjectives that we could put in there.

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But Ken, as is the case, usually

I'm gonna ask you just to introduce

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yourself, present to us what we

would like to know, what you would

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like us to know about you, and we'll

take the conversation from there.

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Ken Miller: Sure.

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I appreciate that.

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Thank you for the opportunity

to be on your podcast.

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Let's start off with this.

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I'm 62 years old.

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I'm a black male.

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I live in Bellingham, Washington.

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I have a somewhat unique story as an

entrepreneur and as a business owner,

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but it's nothing that is so unique that

probably will not resonate with many

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of the people that are on this call.

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So lemme give you a quick overview of who

I am and maybe what makes my story unique.

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Again, I'm 62 years old,

born in:

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My mother was a white teenage runaway.

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My dad was a black.

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Male, of course.

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pimp and drug dealer in New York City.

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I was put up for adoption

at birth age, at birth.

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And for the next six years

I went through foster homes.

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So I'm what they would

call a foster child.

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I was adopted at age six

by Irene and Sam Miller.

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I moved from New York to Alaska.

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That's where I grew up.

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A lot of people know me as kin

from Alaska, and I was precocious.

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What I mean by that, I

was academically inclined.

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And by the time I was 17, I

was a National Merit scholar.

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I was accepted

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Russell Newton: Wow.

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Ken Miller: I went to Dartmouth College.

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While in Dartmouth, I, unfortunately,

I had a major, I majored in drinking,

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is what I did in fraternity and

probably, minored in drinking

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and majored in fraternity.

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And I got out with my degree.

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And went into the corporate world in 1984.

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Within two years, you could pretty

much say I was homeless on the streets,

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as a drug addict and alcoholic, I was

to spend the next 20 years, 20, 21

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years homeless and on the streets.

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I am a three time convicted felon.

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I've spent years behind bars for the

crimes that I committed as a drug

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addict with an Ivy League education.

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I got out in 2007 for my last,

stint in the penitentiary.

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Did three years on my last bit

had no skills, none whatsoever.

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But within two to three years, I was

working in the field of development,

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which is fundraising for nonprofits.

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And in 2014 started my first company.

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And today I'm a very successful

businessman, entrepreneur.

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I speak all over the country.

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I write books.

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I'm a landowner.

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I have property in South America,

I am also a husband, a grandfather,

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and a mentor to predominantly men

of color throughout this country.

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That's just a real quick overview.

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There was a lot that happened in between.

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Russell Newton: What do

they say on your, not yours?

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your, in the general sense on your

tombstone, you have a, for you

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and I, it would be 1962, born in

the same year, and then hopefully

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21 something for both of us.

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Maybe it'll be a little while before that

last number is filled in, but that dash

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represents a lot of stuff going on in

between the first year and the last year.

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you mentioned on a personal side here,

you mentioned before we started recording

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that you just flew in from Ecuador, and

then you said you're a landowner in South

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America, so that's interesting to me.

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How does that come about?

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What does that entail?

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Is that just personal or is

that a business, venture.

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Ken Miller: Business, it's, you can save

it's business 'cause we rent it out.

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So I originally, about four years ago,

went down there, bought a condo, and

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then, about three years ago, my wife

and I bought some raw land on the

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beach and we built a six bedroom home.

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with swimming pool on the

beach there in Ecuador.

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So we just went back there

and stayed in our place.

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But we have a, b and B down there.

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There's a company called Rent and

Manta, so we work with them and,

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they take care of it, but, we

rent it out and it's beautiful.

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it's gorgeous.

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The, the property itself.

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And then we also have the condo

down there and we rent that out.

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Russell Newton: Wow.

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Ken Miller: America, it's Ecuador.

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Russell Newton: what is,

here's a naive question.

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Maybe.

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I've been to Mexico

briefly a long time ago.

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What is Ecuador like?

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I think we have concepts

of other countries.

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as a mayor, I speak.

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Maybe broadly as an American we don't

know much sometimes, America's so large.

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we go from state to state and

that's, that can be culture change.

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Is Ecuador similar?

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Is it vastly different maybe from

the states or from other South

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American countries that we might

think we know something about?

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Or is life there basically

the same as it is here?

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Ken Miller: Life is basically

the same everywhere in the world.

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Russell Newton: Thank you.

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Ken Miller: their families.

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People are trying to, get ahead

those that choose to do that.

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the truth is that the human condition

entails, assuming roles and or, behavior

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that hopefully will be, positive for

whatever your dream or aspiration is.

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we call it a third world.

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It's on the equator.

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they use American money, which is unusual,

but I think it's one of four countries

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in the world that use American money.

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obviously it's Spanish

speaking, beautiful people.

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It's a beautiful country.

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But it has its problems like every

country know of, and it's going

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through some growing pains as we

speak, but there's great opportunity.

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I tell people Ecuador is Costa Rica

40 years ago when it comes to, buying

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property and or building there.

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They have a large expat community,

Canadians, Germans, Americans, and

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again, most of the time, right?

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many of us are on the coast, but

there's also, there's quite a few

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people in keto and those are two

of the other main large cities.

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We're right south of Manta and

a small town called Santa Marta.

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So it's a beautiful country.

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we were just there for eight

days, wasn't long enough.

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Russell Newton: Nice.

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Ken Miller: very economical

the food's great.

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Russell Newton: Very interesting.

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Thanks for sharing that.

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That's just really out

of, personal curiosity.

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one of the things you

mentioned was your book.

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Let's, let's go into that a little bit.

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Tell us about your book, who it's written

for, what it covers, what we can learn

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from it and so forth, if you would.

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Ken Miller: Who is written for?

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The number one person it

was written for was me,

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me.

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Russell Newton: okay.

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Yeah.

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No, I understand that.

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Ken Miller: do you say that?

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The reason I

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Russell Newton: I.

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Ken Miller: is I had made a commitment to

myself five or six years ago to write a

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book, and it took me three years to write

this book for different reasons, but it

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took three years to get it published.

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I'm gonna publish hopefully three more

books this year, and it'll take me, four

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or five months to publish those books.

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I had made commitments to people.

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I have a big thing about integrity.

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And I had said verbally that I would

write a book because people kept

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saying, you need to write a book.

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You need to write a book,

you need to write a book.

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And I was like, ah, okay.

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I'm gonna write a book.

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And so that was probably the number one.

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The number two is it's a message to

individuals I hate to bifurcate or

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make things, male or female, but it's

in a lot of ways it's really to men.

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Because I had a lot of situations

as a man that, I needed to deal with

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and I talk about those in the books.

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There was some shame-based behavior.

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There was some things I had to overcome.

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There was, concepts of resilience,

concepts of respect, concepts of dealing

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with shame and anger and depression,

drug addiction, things that I needed

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to overcome and things that I needed to

be able to do to put into my business.

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successful as a businessman,

which I am today.

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So it's, it's a book

that I'm so glad I wrote.

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and I think it has resonated.

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I've talked to, more than a few people

who have read it and have enjoyed the

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book, I just look forward and I just

think it's a, I think it's a value

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added to the community at large.

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And I'm not saying it's a game changer,

but it's a value added because one thing,

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and you will, you'll see this Russell,

I am very honest, I am very transparent.

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I have no secrets.

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I have no secrets.

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There's things I will not share

about my family, but about me.

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I'll share about anything that's

happened to me because I had to take

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away the power of the negative secret.

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And that's a big part of

the book is taking away the

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power of the negative secret.

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Russell Newton: That's

an interesting phrase.

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I'm gonna, I'm jotting that down

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Ken Miller: sure.

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Russell Newton: but would you go into,

I think I know, I certainly know,

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personally what that means, in my own

instance, but define, tell us about that.

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how does that affect your daily life?

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What is, how do you incorporate that?

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what lessons have you

learned through that pro?

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That's just a great phrase.

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Power of a negative secret.

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Ken Miller: so let's talk about the

negative secret, because I don't probably

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incorporate it every day in my life

because I don't have to talk about things

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that at one time were a negative secret.

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So a negative secret is

something that you hide.

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From others or from the external world.

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Sometimes you hide it from

the internal in your head.

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You don't go in, I, this

is the description I give.

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consists, or memory

consists of a long hallway.

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And on this long hallway there are doors.

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And those doors said eight years old.

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13 years old.

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My uncle, whatever it may be.

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And it's labeled on that door.

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don't want to go into that door.

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don't want to bring up those memories.

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You don't want to go in there and turn

the lights on and see what's in that room.

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Okay.

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so that's an internal, so we,

sometimes we use the word repression,

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but we sublimate that memory

coming up into the consciousness.

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Okay, cool.

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Then there's the negative secret that's

deals with the external world and what

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they're usually the self-talk around,

and I'm really big on self-talk, is that

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if they knew this truth or this fact or

this experience, or my interpretation of

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this experience, they would not like me.

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They would not engage with me.

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They would treat me in a specific

or certain way, and therefore

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I cannot allow this external

world to know about this truth.

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'cause that's what it is.

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It's a secret, but it's a truth.

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At least that's what you

interpreted as a truth.

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This happened to me, or I did this.

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And if you knew this, you would

not, in with me or integrate

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with me or connect with me.

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Therefore, it would cause

repercussions either emotionally

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and sometimes physically to me.

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Russell Newton: So the a negative

secret, it could be truth.

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it, you mentioned my, an internal,

interpretation of something.

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but how does that, why is it

important, to address that?

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Does it affect relationships?

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Does it affect, just my

personal, self-concept?

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or is it all all encompassing?

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Ken Miller: it affect, number one.

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It affects your self-esteem because

you're always running around in fear.

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Fear of them

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Russell Newton: Okay.

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Ken Miller: out, fear of it slipping out,

fear of another external party telling.

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This group that Ken did this, I did that.

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Okay.

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It is fear of bringing it up into my

consciousness, and therefore I need

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to deal with that negative feeling.

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So what I talk a lot about

is shame based versus

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Russell Newton: interesting you,

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Ken Miller: behavior.

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Russell Newton: yeah.

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I wrote, that's one of the phrases I

wanted to come back to because you, you

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mentioned it, but at that caught my ear.

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Tell us, yeah, please continue.

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Sorry for the interruption.

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Ken Miller: the real quick and

dirty version is guilt said I did.

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says I am okay.

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One says that I did something

less than the other.

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One says, I am less than.

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Okay.

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And when you become shame based is

much more powerful than guilt based.

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I am guilty.

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I pled guilty every time I

went in front of the court.

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Every time I had three felonies.

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I pled guilty.

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I was guilty.

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I knew I did it.

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I'm not gonna fight it.

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get me to prison.

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Let's move on.

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Okay.

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Shame says, I am less than because

I engaged or did this behavior.

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we have the Scarlet letter, Nathaniel

Hawthorne, that had to do with

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adultery, which was shame based.

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by that society.

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had shame-based behavior because,

to be frank with you, I was a

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male sex worker on the streets.

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That's how I paid for my crack on

many occasions, and I didn't want

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anybody to find that out because it

would've affected me on the streets.

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It would've affected me in prison.

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And then I thought

people would not like me.

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I'm talking about the external, we

call it the civilian world would not

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like me or engage with me if they

knew I had engaged in this behavior.

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at all.

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And when I started speaking about it

originally, I spoke to one person,

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then I did small group, and then I'd

speak on the stages about shame-based

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behavior and the things that I

did that made me feel less than,

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Russell Newton: Guilt and remorse

are things that we feel based

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on our behaviors, our actions,

even our thought processes.

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But guilt and remorse are not shame.

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It's two diff, two different things, and.

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yeah.

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What I did is not what I am, that's a

concept that comes across in the podcast.

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Frequently.

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is age an issue?

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either positive or negative

when developing a mentoring

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or a, even a friendship.

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And is there a benefit for younger people?

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So let's say college, early career

age people, to seek advice from the

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boomers and those older than them.

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Ken Miller: 100%.

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There's, there is, benefit,

tremendous benefit.

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I am the biggest advocate of mentoring.

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That you'll probably ever have.

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I've been mentoring for

over 15 years, and explicit.

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I teach classes on mentoring.

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I'm writing a book on

mentoring communities of color.

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That's my third book that's

coming out this year.

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Fourth book, excuse me.

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So I know a lot about it.

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I've been doing it.

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I understand it.

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And is important most of the time for

the mentor be older than the mentee.

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Most of the time doesn't, it is very

few where it just has to be one way or

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Russell Newton: Of course,

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Ken Miller: or But let's, I

don't deal with exceptions.

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I don't.

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That's noise.

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To me.

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What is the signal?

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And the signal is as an individual,

and this is the key part,

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it's not age, it's maturity.

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But usually that comes with

age or can come with age.

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Sure.

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We understand this.

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Russell Newton: Yes.

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Ken Miller: about maturity and

we're talking about discernment.

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The ability to discern comes

literally after maturity, that's

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even a higher level is discernment.

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Okay.

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what is maturity?

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I always talk, and I work with a

lot of men and I, when I speak with

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them, I talk about antithesis and

what we mean very what are opposites.

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It's so much easier to define immaturity

than there is to define maturity.

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And I, when my men have difficulty

with this term, I say, how does a

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4-year-old think and way a 4-year-old

thinks is, it's always about me.

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'cause that's my world and

my horizon is very short.

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A 4-year-old is not thinking

about what he's gonna do.

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when he's 12, he's not thinking

about, what type of job

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he's gonna get when he's 30.

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He's

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Russell Newton: There's no

five year plan there, right?

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Ken Miller: five year plan.

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Yeah.

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The, their time horizon.

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And as you get mature, two things

happen and there's more, but

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let's just talk about the two.

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One is, you begin to make decisions

based on how they impact others.

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And then number two, you

extend your time horizon.

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I will make decisions.

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I will delay gratification.

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I will accept discomfort

short-term for the goal.

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Which is to provide dot or be at a certain

level at this age or whatever it may be.

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The, the aspiration may be,

or the goal or the dream.

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I talk a lot about dreams.

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So anyway, that is one of the

reasons why usually the mentor, but

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I hate to tell you Russell, most

people don't know how to mentor.

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I'll just be frank on that because I'm

gonna be frank, that's just who I am and

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people can agree, disagree, whatever,

but be frank, where most people don't

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know how to mentor, they don't understand

what mentoring is, and they also get

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it mixed up with coaching all the time.

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Russell Newton: can you keep going?

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That my, my follow up question

would be along those lines, tell us,

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coaching, mentoring, if, how would an

individual listening today find a min?

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How would they know that

they're getting what they need?

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if it's someone of, of a higher

level of maturity, how should

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they, A lot of questions there.

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How would someone go about being a mentor

and knowing that they're, doing it?

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that's probably two or

three episodes in itself.

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But again, delve into that

a little bit more for us,

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Ken Miller: So let's start with this.

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let me give you an example

of how do I mentor.

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I've been mentoring for

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Russell Newton: please.

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Ken Miller: I've

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Russell Newton: Great.

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Ken Miller: over 60 men, 95 or seven

black men of color, and of choice.

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I don't mentor women, that's number one.

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and that's difficult for women.

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I want women who are on this.

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It's difficult many times to find

a mentor within the same sex.

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If you are aspiring to a

position and or stature within

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a community, a work community.

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Because a lot of times there aren't

the women haven't reached that

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level that, I wanna be the CEO or

I wanna be the CDO, whatever it may

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be, CFO of a larger corporation.

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I'm looking for a mentor

to help me on that journey.

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Okay.

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Having said that, number one thing as

a mentor is I have a responsibility.

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First of all, mentoring 100% is free.

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Period.

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No.

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If, ands, or buts about that coaching

is a paid, or you could quote unquote

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coach someone for free, but coaching

usually has remuneration involved with it.

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Just pay involved.

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Okay.

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I coach and I've mentored.

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the number one thing I do as a

mentor is this, I engender dreams.

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Lemme say that again.

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I engender dreams.

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The first thing that I say to the

individual is that number one.

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Because they almost always come to me

or a family member say, Hey, will you

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mentor my nephew, whatever it may be.

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sit down with them, I

say, Hey, check this out.

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I am the mentor.

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You are the mentee.

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Let's understand that.

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Are you comfortable with that?

410

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I take lead in this.

411

:

I'm the mentor.

412

:

I've been there, I've done that.

413

:

And if I don't, I probably know who has.

414

:

I can get that information.

415

:

Okay.

416

:

I say that number one.

417

:

two, I look them dead in the

eyes or I look them in the eyes

418

:

and I say, very simply, my goal

is to engender your dreams.

419

:

What are your dreams?

420

:

And I shut up.

421

:

And I shut up.

422

:

That's real important.

423

:

And I've had guys sit there for

five minutes because someone has

424

:

taken away their ability to dream.

425

:

They said, you can't

dream, you can't do that.

426

:

You can't have that.

427

:

You'll never be that.

428

:

Could be family, could be principal,

could be a teacher, could be,

429

:

most of the time, many times it's

their, colleagues and or friends.

430

:

Sometimes it's your mate, or your partner.

431

:

But it is taken away

your ability to dream.

432

:

So I, I put that on the table and

I've always been able to, and then

433

:

I say to them, there's three things

that I will predominantly do.

434

:

Number one, going to provide

information and I start every man

435

:

that I work with, and people can do

this differently, but I start every

436

:

man, I work with two books, period.

437

:

They have to read these two books

and many of 'em are not readers,

438

:

but we work through it side.

439

:

And the two books are the Six Pillars

of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Brandon,

440

:

and the Speed of trust by Stephen.

441

:

Every, and then I will put in front

of them other books or podcasts or

442

:

talks, other information as I get to

know them better and get more drilled

443

:

in, in their aspiration and dream.

444

:

That's number one.

445

:

Number two, so I'm gonna put information,

external information into you.

446

:

Number two, I'm going to

introduce you to people.

447

:

Okay?

448

:

'cause I know a lot of people.

449

:

A of people, so I'm gonna

introduce you to people.

450

:

Number three, I'm going to

support you on your journey.

451

:

And many times means you

need to go to a conference.

452

:

is it?

453

:

What do you want?

454

:

I'll take care of either the airfare.

455

:

This is what I do, right?

456

:

Every mentor does this.

457

:

I've spent thousands a year guys

doing things that will, enhance

458

:

their ability to be successful.

459

:

And number four, which is

probably the most important.

460

:

I support men emotionally.

461

:

Every man, every guy I mentor,

I've told him, I love you.

462

:

you, bro.

463

:

I love you, man.

464

:

And I look him dead eye.

465

:

There's two black men, sometimes we've

come from some tough backgrounds and so

466

:

a lot of times when I tell 'em this in

the first meeting or first one or two

467

:

meeting, I say, Hey, it may take time

for the trust to build some people quick.

468

:

And they default to trust.

469

:

That's a term I use.

470

:

That's what I do.

471

:

And some don't.

472

:

And that's fine.

473

:

And Matter have taken years to get

to a point where they're comfortable

474

:

with it saying, Hey, I love you.

475

:

you know that, right?

476

:

Yeah.

477

:

And then, and they tell me back.

478

:

but I support it emotionally

because we deal with what I

479

:

call the vicissitudes of life.

480

:

That's common now, that's common.

481

:

will have ups and downs.

482

:

People will pass away, relationships will

be broken, financial problems will happen.

483

:

Family issues will happen,

health issues will happen.

484

:

Let's talk about it.

485

:

talk about it.

486

:

a lot of times they come in, they say,

oh, can you help me with my business?

487

:

help me with my career.

488

:

That's what they come in.

489

:

And been mentoring.

490

:

In fact, I meet with one of my

oldest mentee today, 15 years.

491

:

It's open-ended too.

492

:

I tell 'em that it's open-ended.

493

:

We meet quarterly, but you could

always contact me in between.

494

:

I got one who's going to be

contacting me back in the office

495

:

now, today I was on vacation.

496

:

I said, Hey, can't, deal with

it right now, but gimme a ring

497

:

when I get back on Tuesday and

let's talk, let's deal with this.

498

:

So that's mentoring.

499

:

There's more, that I've done.

500

:

But this is the beautiful thing,

and I share this with you.

501

:

say, why do you do this?

502

:

Yeah, I'll just put it, I'm a millionaire.

503

:

Okay?

504

:

I'm a millionaire.

505

:

I built my companies.

506

:

I've built myself.

507

:

I'm a millionaire.

508

:

My time is valuable.

509

:

And even this, I don't obviously

get paid to be on this podcast, but

510

:

it gives me an opportunity to share

that hopefully will affect people.

511

:

I'm so grateful of my journey, but the

key thing is, what I wanna come back

512

:

to is that I give of my time because

I sometimes believe that's, we call my

513

:

calling and I'm not going into, Judi

Christian, talk here 'cause I'm not.

514

:

But what I'm talking about is I

have a spiritual presence in my life

515

:

that allows me to give back, and

I don't want anything in return.

516

:

What I want is this, I've sat down with

two men that I've worked with for years

517

:

and to watch a grown black man cry.

518

:

A dream came true, took five years,

took seven years, but something

519

:

they didn't know they had inside of.

520

:

And I always say, and

they're like, thank you.

521

:

I couldn't have done it without, it's not

whether you could have done it without me.

522

:

We did it together, but you

did it, this is about you.

523

:

And that dream coming

true, this is about you.

524

:

And I just honor it and I

just, wish you continue.

525

:

what's our new dream?

526

:

Russell Newton: Do you approach it in

the beginning as, I'm your friend, I'm

527

:

gonna help you through this, or is it

more of a, instructional thing and I'm

528

:

assuming by the end of the time, after

you spent sessions with people, you become

529

:

much more, you become more close, you

become more friendlier, more friendly.

530

:

But in the beginning, what's it like?

531

:

is it more of a professional

relationship or is it more of a personal.

532

:

Ken Miller: Personal

533

:

Russell Newton: Is it really?

534

:

Okay.

535

:

Okay.

536

:

Ken Miller: job.

537

:

And I'll say that because I, one

of the things I always say to 'em.

538

:

First of all, I want to thank you

and honor your ability to reach

539

:

out and just, 'cause a lot of times

I'll have the first meeting to

540

:

see, do you want to be mentored?

541

:

What are you looking for?

542

:

Are you looking for coaching on a

specific, how to write a donor letter,

543

:

'cause my background's fundraising.

544

:

I'm an expert in fundraising.

545

:

Okay.

546

:

If that's what you're looking at,

I can tell you that in, half hour,

547

:

you can come to one of my webinars

or I'll give you, allowance to be

548

:

in one of my webinars for free.

549

:

Why one of my workshops I don't give.

550

:

That's fine.

551

:

But, or do you want to grow as a man?

552

:

'cause that's what it

really comes down to.

553

:

you wanna grow as a man?

554

:

Do you wanna be mentored?

555

:

gotta understand something here.

556

:

Ruan.

557

:

I just wanna make sure I have mentors.

558

:

have three.

559

:

I have three.

560

:

I had four.

561

:

One passed away.

562

:

I have mentors.

563

:

I have four generations

of black men mentoring.

564

:

That was my whole, that's really one

of the reasons why I wrote the book.

565

:

One of the reasons why I spoke is I

want more men work with other men.

566

:

We have a real dearth of mentorship within

the black community, black male community.

567

:

We have a problem with

black men not being there.

568

:

I was in prison with them.

569

:

I know we weren't there.

570

:

had, a stepson.

571

:

I wasn't a father too, because I'm a drug

addict and I'm in penitentiary, so I know

572

:

what it's like to not have that father

figure or a good black male role model.

573

:

use the term black.

574

:

It could be communities of

color, it can be just men.

575

:

We're all children of God.

576

:

I truly believe that we're all a

part of the community of the world.

577

:

But I have a specific community

'cause I know the need is

578

:

so great in that community.

579

:

And so my goal is to speak in front of

thousands, to hopefully inspire them to

580

:

bring in the spirit they will be motivated

to work with others or especially

581

:

to learn how to work with others.

582

:

That's one of the reasons why I'm writing

the book, again, there needs to be a

583

:

guidebook and maybe another one out there.

584

:

I haven't done that kind of research and

won't I just know what has worked for me.

585

:

How do you know it's worked?

586

:

because I've seen the growth and

I see the responses from those who

587

:

have engaged in the relationship

with me to grow and to mature.

588

:

Okay.

589

:

And believe me, I course

correct too, Russell.

590

:

Course correct, which means there

are times I've sat with men and I

591

:

said, I'm not co-signing on that.

592

:

I'm not co-signing on that behavior.

593

:

is not the right thing to do.

594

:

And I'll explain why.

595

:

And we'll go through, if you're having an

extramarital affair, let's talk about it.

596

:

Let's talk about the why.

597

:

Let's talk about, and nothing is off the,

I have no secrets, so nothing is off.

598

:

And they know my story.

599

:

Oh, my guys normal.

600

:

Russell Newton: And you

expect that back from them?

601

:

the no secrets, the

transparency, the honesty?

602

:

No.

603

:

Ken Miller: no, not in the beginning.

604

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

605

:

Ken Miller: And, but I tell 'em

that, I just tell 'em two things.

606

:

All I ask is two things.

607

:

to show up.

608

:

And that's a tough one.

609

:

Many times, okay?

610

:

To show up and show up on time.

611

:

two, to be as honest as you can.

612

:

That's all I ask for.

613

:

Okay.

614

:

And.

615

:

times we don't really have the habit

of being as forthcoming as possible.

616

:

Or, and I'm, I'll be frank, in

the communities of color, we

617

:

have a problem with being late.

618

:

I'm gonna put that out there.

619

:

I have a men's I black men's

book study national that I run.

620

:

Okay.

621

:

Started it.

622

:

It's called the Six Pillars,

black men's book study.

623

:

And, we have individuals who are part

of the book study doesn't cost anything.

624

:

And I can't tell you how many times

individuals have told me they'll

625

:

be there, they no show or they come

in late, happens all the time, and

626

:

I don't have the answer for it.

627

:

some of it's, community and I,

there, there's some theories I

628

:

have because that's not who I am.

629

:

But I teach this.

630

:

punctuality, I teach about,

and one of the most important

631

:

things I teach is integrity.

632

:

Is there an alignment or what

we call congruence between

633

:

what you say and what you do?

634

:

Russell Newton: Wow, that's strong.

635

:

Ken Miller: Yeah, it is strong.

636

:

Russell Newton: Yeah.

637

:

Ken Miller: It is strong.

638

:

'cause if you got it, because it

comes back to that, the book, speed

639

:

of trust, what is Trust Russell?

640

:

this is how I work with my guys

and I know I'm not here, I'm not

641

:

mentoring you, but what is trust?

642

:

I do a lot with definitions.

643

:

What is trust?

644

:

Russell Newton: Are you asking?

645

:

You're not asking rhetorically, are you?

646

:

Ken Miller: just real quick.

647

:

What's, what is trust?

648

:

Russell Newton: I dunno if I can define

it and I could maybe an example if

649

:

I trusted you, I would believe that

you're working, for, if we're working

650

:

together, you're working with my best

interest in mind, like almost like

651

:

a fiduciary, arrangement where I can

believe what you're telling me because

652

:

it is not couched behind some secret

or some ulterior motive that I'm not

653

:

aware of or might not be to my benefit.

654

:

Ken Miller: Okay, let's take away motives.

655

:

Let's talk, take away ulterior

benefits, things of that nature.

656

:

Let's keep it real simple.

657

:

Trust is a belief and a

perceived future action.

658

:

Lemme say that again.

659

:

Trust

660

:

Russell Newton: it.

661

:

Ken Miller: a belief and

a perceived future action.

662

:

If I come to you, say, Hey, I'm

gonna go to the store and grab you

663

:

a soda, I believe that your future

action is that you are going to

664

:

go to the store and buy me a soda.

665

:

I trust you.

666

:

When we do our marriage vows, one

of the part of the marriage vows is

667

:

that I will not engage in physical

or sexual in endeavors with another

668

:

person outside the marriage.

669

:

Trust.

670

:

So I believe anything with my wife,

there is a belief and a perceived future

671

:

action that the only person that I will

engage with in physical is my wife.

672

:

Okay, cool.

673

:

That's trust.

674

:

And so can, if you verbalize something

and then on the back end, don't do it.

675

:

That lays my trust because I had

a perceived future action that

676

:

you were gonna show up for the

podcast on time you had one.

677

:

Okay?

678

:

And when that doesn't happen, it gives

me credence that is not integrity and

679

:

or now there's reasons things happen.

680

:

I'm so amenable to that,

understandable that and a lot of times.

681

:

I just ask people, to let me know.

682

:

If you can't me, just let me know.

683

:

I got a, if you saw my calendar, I have

a VA that handles my calendar, but if

684

:

you saw my calendar, you'd understand,

that again, my time is valuable, I trust

685

:

that you are, and I default to trust.

686

:

That's another term.

687

:

It's called default to trust.

688

:

I do, by nature, I've chosen not

even by nature, by experience and

689

:

by belief in that, good the end

will happen as a default to trust.

690

:

Russell Newton: there's almost too

much for me to get my, I wanna jot down

691

:

default to trust is, and what would, you

said earlier, speed to trust was that

692

:

Ken Miller: Yeah, the speed of trust.

693

:

Russell Newton: of trust.

694

:

Can you expand?

695

:

Can you, what do you mean by that?

696

:

Ken Miller: first of

all, you had undefined.

697

:

Again, we've defined somewhat

what is trust, a belief, and

698

:

a perceived future action.

699

:

Okay?

700

:

How quickly you engender trust with

701

:

Russell Newton: Oh, okay.

702

:

Ken Miller: Because when, the CEO or

the boss trusts you, have a perception

703

:

that you will do these actions, that are

going to be positive for the company.

704

:

Therefore, they will give

you more responsibility.

705

:

Therefore, you, they will give you,

this is just in the corporate world,

706

:

how quickly can you build trust with

your partner or, whatever your partner,

707

:

how quickly can you build that?

708

:

And then what can you do when and

if you do something that takes away

709

:

their belief in or their trust in you?

710

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

711

:

Ken Miller: And,

712

:

Russell Newton: Yeah.

713

:

Ken Miller: make amends.

714

:

We can, make apologies,

which are different.

715

:

can,

716

:

Russell Newton: Right.

717

:

Ken Miller: engage.

718

:

But specifically I tell

people those are verbal Okay.

719

:

Especially the apologies.

720

:

So you need to do a series of, actions

are, that show that you can trust

721

:

me and how we, how do we do that?

722

:

Russell Newton: Which is

directly tied into integrity.

723

:

Without integrity, can there be trust

724

:

Ken Miller: Without integrity.

725

:

Can there be trust?

726

:

it'd be difficult.

727

:

And

728

:

Russell Newton: May

729

:

Ken Miller: is the difficulty

is that people have what

730

:

they call situational ethics.

731

:

Russell Newton: right.

732

:

Ken Miller: So with certain people

there's a tremendous amount of trust

733

:

with other people, other situations.

734

:

Which means it is because

we have situational ethics.

735

:

I'm very ethical with my mother,

let's say, but with, partner,

736

:

that played basketball with,

or may not show up on time.

737

:

Okay.

738

:

But if my mom calls me,

I'll be there in five

739

:

Russell Newton: You can.

740

:

Ken Miller: Okay.

741

:

Situational ethic.

742

:

And what we want to do is at some point

when we have this true integrity, is

743

:

that there's no situational ethics.

744

:

There is just ethics and there is a

sense that, I adhere to what I say or

745

:

what I tell people that I'm going to do.

746

:

what, by whatever external means,

whether it's written or verbal.

747

:

Russell Newton: Thank you.

748

:

Yeah.

749

:

You've given us, I think, a little

insight into what your, what you cover

750

:

in some of your speeches and your talks.

751

:

I'm interested in maybe lightening

things up a little bit as well.

752

:

Tell us about the lecture circuit.

753

:

What's it like?

754

:

how do people book you, how can people

find where you're gonna be speaking?

755

:

just is it like, it's not the

rockstar life, I don't assume,

756

:

but it's, it has to be gratifying.

757

:

just what is that as a

lecture circuit speaker?

758

:

Ken Miller: So first of all, to

understand it's a world in itself.

759

:

love to use the term community, so

I belong to different communities.

760

:

Okay.

761

:

And within those communities,

I have a certain stature, okay?

762

:

That goes back to respect, which

we may or may not talk about, the

763

:

speaking community is very large.

764

:

There are individuals at the top of

the pyramid, and there's individuals

765

:

that are, at the base of the pyramid.

766

:

And so let's say this, there's

approximately 8,000 conferences,

767

:

associations, and groups that

you could speak at and to speak,

768

:

ah, man, this's a lot too.

769

:

I could talk about this for next day.

770

:

We'll just say this, they're

what you think, which are what

771

:

we call keynotes or plenaries.

772

:

are the individuals that come on

stage and speak to the whole group

773

:

usually, or the great majority.

774

:

And then there were, are

called breakout sessions.

775

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

776

:

Ken Miller: I do a lot of breakouts, I do

777

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

778

:

Ken Miller: keynotes.

779

:

But your large speakers, the big

ones, the most well known, your Les

780

:

Browns and your Zig Ziglars and Tommy

Hopkins, whoever they do, the keynotes.

781

:

Michelle Obama, Hillary Rodman, Clinton,

they're all, do you know the keynotes and

782

:

they can get paid, half a per keynote.

783

:

I'm nowhere near that,

784

:

Russell Newton: Not yet.

785

:

Ken Miller: right?

786

:

Not yet.

787

:

And they probably don't want to be.

788

:

I

789

:

Russell Newton: Interesting.

790

:

Ken Miller: that.

791

:

No, aspire for that.

792

:

Russell Newton: I.

793

:

Ken Miller: But what I do is,

what it consists of is responding

794

:

to RFPs to speak, or they reach

out to you, or you have an agent.

795

:

I don't have an agent

or belong to an agency.

796

:

I probably never will.

797

:

and they will look at your, your request,

to speak as, requests for proposal.

798

:

They'll look at your proposal,

they'll look at the other ones,

799

:

and they'll make a decision.

800

:

or not they want to bring you on.

801

:

So usually you have what

is called a keynote.

802

:

So mine is resilience in the

face of the known and the unknown

803

:

because they are different.

804

:

So I speak on that's my keynote.

805

:

And then I have a bunch of breakouts that

I can do on trust on, fundraising, skills.

806

:

I do self-esteem, one on

coaching, things of that nature.

807

:

So those are breakouts.

808

:

And so what you do is you're doing,

there's only two ways to do 'em

809

:

in person or online, or it hybrid,

but it's, let's call that online.

810

:

And I go around the country when I so

choose or when I'm asked to speak I

811

:

fly in, I do my talk and I fly out.

812

:

but I'm a real, I'm a little different.

813

:

I'm not a little different.

814

:

I'm somewhat different than

I'm very much into the people.

815

:

So a lot of times I spend most of my

time after I talk meeting people and

816

:

just talking with them one-on-one,

talking with them one-on-one.

817

:

Where you at?

818

:

Male or female?

819

:

but I won't mentor you if a female,

but I'll speak with you the talk.

820

:

'cause people will come up

and want to talk about, shame.

821

:

They want to talk about,

bouncing back from a death.

822

:

They'll want to talk about what,

whatever some of the things that I may

823

:

have spoken about in my conversation.

824

:

Because what they, on, again,

the client, I can be more honest,

825

:

depending, depending on the audience.

826

:

What I mean, I can be more forthcoming

there's certain things I cannot

827

:

talk about, depending on the

client, and I won't, I respect that.

828

:

I'm not here to shock people.

829

:

But there's some where I talk where it's.

830

:

It's down and dirty

when I go into prisons.

831

:

Yeah.

832

:

Or I go into youth prisons and I'll speak,

or I'm talking with a group of ex addicts.

833

:

we gonna keep it real and I'm

gonna go down just like that.

834

:

Like my voice will change.

835

:

We gonna keep it real.

836

:

Let's chop it up.

837

:

This is what happened.

838

:

And then I can talk to them

because that'll resonate with them.

839

:

I talk to the audience.

840

:

It's always about the audience.

841

:

And that is, 'cause I'm talking to

the show host or the in individual

842

:

event coordinator, what do you want?

843

:

Because that's what I'm

here, you're paying me.

844

:

What do you want?

845

:

It's not about my, that's my self-esteem

or patting myself in the back.

846

:

I made a great talk and

shocked a bunch of people.

847

:

That's not what I'm about.

848

:

I'm about how can I be a

value added to your audience.

849

:

Russell Newton: What are some of the

people that you've associated with?

850

:

Do you mentioned several names.

851

:

Have you worked with, or

been in presentations where

852

:

Zig Ziglar, I don't know.

853

:

Is he still touring?

854

:

were some of those.

855

:

Ken Miller: I was even a lot, I

856

:

Russell Newton: I don't know.

857

:

Ken Miller: in the eighties,

858

:

Russell Newton: Yeah.

859

:

Ken Miller: we had these

and it wasn't even speakers.

860

:

They were famous business I grew up in

the Tommy Hopkins, Zig Ziglar, who's

861

:

the one that walks on the hot rocks.

862

:

he's still doing his,

863

:

Russell Newton: yeah.

864

:

I don't remember the name,

but I remember the concept.

865

:

Yeah.

866

:

I.

867

:

Ken Miller: yeah.

868

:

And it will come to me, of course,

once, once we get off the podcast.

869

:

I personally haven't, I am writing

a book, which is going to be

870

:

phenomenal, and I'm just claiming it.

871

:

Because I expect excellence from

me and I produce excellence.

872

:

True.

873

:

But I'm writing a book

with a gentleman named Dr.

874

:

Will Morland, is one of the top 10

inspirational speakers in the world.

875

:

And we're writing a book on respect,

the topic of respect, because

876

:

it's one of the most important

topics in communities of color.

877

:

I've known more people to

get hurt over that word.

878

:

People think it's over

drugs, money or sex.

879

:

It's over respect.

880

:

That's just a manifestation

of your disrespect to me.

881

:

And therefore, I have

882

:

Russell Newton: Wow.

883

:

Ken Miller: a talk.

884

:

I have some self-talk and I have a script

I have to play out if you disrespect me.

885

:

And that can also go into

the corporate boardroom.

886

:

It can go into in relations, marriages,

where the wife disrespects or the

887

:

man disrespects, the, the wife,

whatever it may be and causes.

888

:

So we're writing a whole book on that.

889

:

Anyway, that's Dr.

890

:

Will Morland.

891

:

That, I'll be writing that book with,

I've met a lot of the, especially in

892

:

the community, so again, I'm sometimes

very specific to the black community.

893

:

I know some of the larger, speakers,

more famous because I belong to a group

894

:

called National Speakers Association,

just came back from their conference.

895

:

We have 2000, 3000

people at the conference.

896

:

We're all speakers.

897

:

We're all speakers, and we're learning

how to be better speakers or many times

898

:

to be inspired be, to stay in the field.

899

:

It's not an easy field for many people.

900

:

I don't need the money.

901

:

So I'm real fortunate,

people are in their, as their

902

:

Russell Newton: To make a living.

903

:

Ken Miller: make a living.

904

:

I don't, that's not how I make my living

and that's not why I'm in the field.

905

:

But I still respect it tremendously.

906

:

field and those individuals, standing

on the shoulders of giants and

907

:

there are giants within, our field.

908

:

they are very good.

909

:

There's a skillset to speaking, but the

910

:

Russell Newton: Sure.

911

:

Ken Miller: is, there's two aspects I

always talk about in the speaking world

912

:

and the two aspects is the business of

speaking and then the art of, and science

913

:

of speaking stage craft, we'll call it.

914

:

But a lot of people are great speakers,

but they are poor business people.

915

:

Russell Newton: That opens

up a lot of possibility too.

916

:

we're coming in on an hour and I

want have to be careful of our time.

917

:

So if you have anything you want to

a way to contact you, information

918

:

where they can hear you, where

they can find you, where they can

919

:

contact you about, being a mentor.

920

:

if you'll give us a little rundown

there on those two things, however

921

:

that comes to your mind, skip, whatever

you don't want to answer in there and

922

:

move on to something else is fine.

923

:

and then give us a word of advice

that you might want to leave

924

:

our, in our listeners' ear.

925

:

And, we'll close it out after that.

926

:

Ken Miller: Okay, so I'm

a very ordered person.

927

:

Very ordered.

928

:

I'm looking around my desk right now.

929

:

I have two computer screens.

930

:

I got my sure microphone, I have my

ring light for the podcast, all I

931

:

have is one pen in my office, one pen.

932

:

I have one docket, eight

and a half by 11 pad.

933

:

Every day I come in, I make my list.

934

:

I date it, what day it is.

935

:

I give myself a word of inspiration.

936

:

Mine today is focus because

I'm just back in from vacation.

937

:

I put my start time and I make my list.

938

:

start my day that way.

939

:

I run five businesses,

five I have assistants.

940

:

Okay?

941

:

I the VAs.

942

:

fact, one of my companies is offshore

virtual assistants that are trained in ai.

943

:

I am big into ai.

944

:

That's a whole nother podcast.

945

:

And I've done those.

946

:

Russell Newton: Right.

947

:

Ken Miller: I work out four days a week.

948

:

I used to be a lifter,

but those days are gone.

949

:

have to do something in penitentiary.

950

:

I, how do I put this?

951

:

I don't pray a lot.

952

:

Let me put that preface to that.

953

:

But I have the ability to

go into prayer quickly.

954

:

I have a whole talk I do

on what I call gap control.

955

:

And I just wanna go into that

just real quick to understand

956

:

why when I come to the prayer.

957

:

gap control is one of the most

important skills, especially for men.

958

:

You say, why does it have to be for men?

959

:

Because we are violent by nature.

960

:

We are violent by nature.

961

:

All over the history of this world

as humans, males are violent.

962

:

Okay?

963

:

I'm not gonna go into why the

evolutionary biology, but we are.

964

:

having said that, and remember I talk

a lot about respect and disrespect.

965

:

have input that comes in through our

senses most of the time we hear it, it

966

:

can be a touch or somebody stepped on

our toe in the club or the disco, and

967

:

we have a reaction instead of an action.

968

:

'cause you've disrespected me.

969

:

Let's go back to respect.

970

:

Respect is acknowledgement of a person's

position or stature within a community.

971

:

Acknowledgement of a person's position

or stature within the community.

972

:

Community of the family, community

of the corporation, community of the

973

:

streets, community of the, penitentiary.

974

:

But there's a community and I have a

position within that community, if you do

975

:

not acknowledge it, we have repercussions.

976

:

we are in a disrespect Understand

disrespect, and we're taught this,

977

:

especially as black men from early age.

978

:

Don't ever let anybody disrespect you.

979

:

So the input comes in.

980

:

Can you a gap

981

:

so that it is not a reaction, but.

982

:

It comes an action.

983

:

And so what I've learned to do, 'cause I

did not have this and I talked to a lot

984

:

of men who work on this, is now, instead

of reacting, I act, I get the input and I

985

:

go into the cognitive part because I don't

want to go back into the lia and go into,

986

:

some of the more primitive parts of the

brain and use emotion to make a decision.

987

:

Do not use emotion

predominantly to make decisions.

988

:

Okay?

989

:

It can be great to inspire.

990

:

I'm not gonna go there, but.

991

:

So anyway, so I've learned to create

that gap control, and now I try to, so

992

:

why do I bring this up in this talk is

because I want to get to a point where

993

:

we have what we call the 11th step in

the programs and the anonymous programs.

994

:

So through prayer and meditation to

improve our conscious contact with

995

:

God, praying only for knowledge of

his will, which is his will is the

996

:

next indicated correct thing to do,

and the power to carry that out.

997

:

I pray when I have input come in

that I know from my experience

998

:

and my maturity that there's a

tendency I wanna react, usually

999

:

verbally, which is to threaten you.

:

00:50:46,289 --> 00:50:52,354

And then many time in the past it's been

physical, but I haven't touched anybody.

:

00:50:52,354 --> 00:50:53,209

We call it touched.

:

00:50:53,509 --> 00:50:55,189

I haven't touched anybody in 21 years.

:

00:50:55,594 --> 00:51:00,184

I've been sober for 21 years and

I have not put hands on anyone.

:

00:51:00,514 --> 00:51:11,204

So I don't pray that often, but when

I do, it's for good reason because my

:

00:51:11,204 --> 00:51:16,664

will is in alignment with God's Will

I do a succession of good things?

:

00:51:16,754 --> 00:51:17,294

I do.

:

00:51:17,349 --> 00:51:18,509

I'm not trying to pat myself.

:

00:51:18,509 --> 00:51:20,339

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I do.

:

00:51:20,579 --> 00:51:21,569

I'm just a nice guy.

:

00:51:22,439 --> 00:51:27,119

One of the things that I heard

in:

:

00:51:27,119 --> 00:51:32,039

a meeting anonymous programs,

said, I am a kind and gentle man.

:

00:51:32,729 --> 00:51:36,509

I almost fell outta my chair 'cause

I was on the streets trying to get

:

00:51:36,509 --> 00:51:39,089

sober had never heard a man say that.

:

00:51:39,089 --> 00:51:40,114

He was kind and gentle.

:

00:51:40,414 --> 00:51:45,454

I still remember it, and I am

today a kind and gentle man.

:

00:51:46,609 --> 00:51:49,489

And so that's who I wanted to

become, and I've become that person.

:

00:51:49,849 --> 00:51:52,129

So anyway, I go into prayer.

:

00:51:52,519 --> 00:51:53,989

I'm very organized.

:

00:51:54,049 --> 00:51:59,539

Order is probably one of my favorite

wor words or concepts, and that's

:

00:51:59,539 --> 00:52:03,199

one of the things that I do is

I bring order from disorder.

:

00:52:04,009 --> 00:52:08,389

a lot of times there's disorder in the

head and of course in our physical,

:

00:52:08,449 --> 00:52:12,529

but I at least have, remember I

said my word today was focused.

:

00:52:12,709 --> 00:52:14,419

I have very little distractions.

:

00:52:14,869 --> 00:52:16,129

So I am focused.

:

00:52:16,309 --> 00:52:17,959

I control my environment.

:

00:52:18,009 --> 00:52:23,309

you can read any of the habit books

where, James Clear talks quite a

:

00:52:23,309 --> 00:52:25,199

bit about it, that great books too.

:

00:52:25,579 --> 00:52:31,159

big fan of habits because I've had

'em good and bad, but I've had 'em.

:

00:52:32,359 --> 00:52:35,719

anyway, that's what I

do to organize my day.

:

00:52:35,779 --> 00:52:37,099

I try to eat well.

:

00:52:37,279 --> 00:52:39,319

I try to balance, I even try.

:

00:52:40,419 --> 00:52:42,694

And I, that's changed in

the last couple years.

:

00:52:42,724 --> 00:52:49,544

I'm so much more into family, I

married into a family and I have

:

00:52:49,544 --> 00:52:52,064

the grandkids who I love to death.

:

00:52:52,094 --> 00:52:53,654

You can see my smile come on my face.

:

00:52:53,654 --> 00:52:57,284

I get to see one of 'em today,

which I'm super excited.

:

00:52:57,284 --> 00:52:58,194

'cause, we've been gone for,

:

00:52:58,494 --> 00:52:58,824

Russell Newton: Right

:

00:52:58,879 --> 00:52:59,359

Ken Miller: and a half.

:

00:52:59,669 --> 00:53:00,389

that's what I do.

:

00:53:00,439 --> 00:53:01,519

I make the list.

:

00:53:01,519 --> 00:53:03,289

That's probably the key component.

:

00:53:03,619 --> 00:53:05,149

And I stay focused.

:

00:53:05,539 --> 00:53:07,459

I try not to get too distracted.

:

00:53:07,639 --> 00:53:12,919

I work out, I try to eat well,

and I just try to love on people.

:

00:53:13,219 --> 00:53:15,229

And in return, I've been blessed.

:

00:53:15,289 --> 00:53:16,909

I have a beautiful life.

:

00:53:17,389 --> 00:53:18,199

Beautiful life.

:

00:53:18,679 --> 00:53:22,759

Okay, so that is question number one.

:

00:53:23,599 --> 00:53:23,869

Okay.

:

00:53:23,869 --> 00:53:27,374

And then question number two is

words of wisdom or what I wanna leave

:

00:53:27,424 --> 00:53:28,794

Russell Newton: is there

something you wanted to touch

:

00:53:28,794 --> 00:53:30,234

on that we haven't mentioned?

:

00:53:30,334 --> 00:53:31,864

Ken Miller: Sure, there's two things.

:

00:53:31,864 --> 00:53:36,364

Number one, if you would like to learn

more about me or hear me speak more

:

00:53:36,364 --> 00:53:38,464

on this, go to my YouTube channel.

:

00:53:38,614 --> 00:53:39,934

So I have a YouTube channel.

:

00:53:39,964 --> 00:53:42,274

Ken Miller is a very good one.

:

00:53:42,424 --> 00:53:46,744

And then you can also go

to ken miller speaks.com.

:

00:53:47,614 --> 00:53:52,599

I'd and I'd love to speak, I hate to say

it, but I speak a lot of times for free.

:

00:53:52,864 --> 00:53:54,154

I just want to give back.

:

00:53:54,154 --> 00:53:59,704

I had a chance to talk to SHRM, which

is the Society of HR Managers flew up

:

00:53:59,704 --> 00:54:06,424

on my dollar in dime because they wanted

to talk about ex hiring, excon convicts.

:

00:54:06,754 --> 00:54:10,864

And I'm like, if this helps the

help an individual get a chance

:

00:54:11,424 --> 00:54:11,774

Russell Newton: Right.

:

00:54:12,194 --> 00:54:16,664

Ken Miller: work within and work with

these HR managers, I'll do that for free.

:

00:54:17,114 --> 00:54:18,284

I'll do that on my dollar.

:

00:54:18,744 --> 00:54:19,344

I'm blessed.

:

00:54:19,344 --> 00:54:20,634

I'm not worried about that part.

:

00:54:21,234 --> 00:54:23,274

So I, so anyway, that's one.

:

00:54:23,274 --> 00:54:25,344

I have a book called Becoming Kin.

:

00:54:25,344 --> 00:54:29,064

It's on Amazon, audio books, the above.

:

00:54:29,184 --> 00:54:30,894

So that's becoming kin.

:

00:54:31,264 --> 00:54:36,154

it says a Black Man's Journey from

the Ivy Leagues to and back again.

:

00:54:36,874 --> 00:54:41,989

And then also, I have a couple

other websites, but let's go

:

00:54:41,989 --> 00:54:43,609

with ken miller speaks.com,

:

00:54:43,669 --> 00:54:47,029

and then of course you can

do all the social media.

:

00:54:47,269 --> 00:54:52,929

Instagram, I'm really big on, and then,

Facebook and also LinkedIn and feel free.

:

00:54:53,079 --> 00:54:55,719

The other thing is feel free

to contact me, anyone who's

:

00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:57,569

hearing this, and I answer yes.

:

00:54:57,569 --> 00:54:58,829

I have virtual assists.

:

00:54:58,829 --> 00:55:02,819

I have four of them, but I answer

all emails and phone calls.

:

00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:04,169

I answer 'em.

:

00:55:04,559 --> 00:55:04,829

Okay.

:

00:55:05,549 --> 00:55:07,019

or they're sent to me and I answer 'em.

:

00:55:07,119 --> 00:55:07,269

okay.

:

00:55:07,269 --> 00:55:07,839

That's number.

:

00:55:08,679 --> 00:55:12,219

then any, maybe any words of

wisdom that I'd like to leave.

:

00:55:13,314 --> 00:55:14,634

The on and I wanna speak.

:

00:55:14,664 --> 00:55:19,044

So if anybody has anything about speaking,

I want to speak free or for pay, I just

:

00:55:19,044 --> 00:55:22,134

love to speak, the words of wisdom.

:

00:55:23,124 --> 00:55:23,994

Get a mentor.

:

00:55:25,794 --> 00:55:30,174

And the way you get a mentor, you

find someone that you see something

:

00:55:30,174 --> 00:55:31,614

in them that you would like.

:

00:55:32,194 --> 00:55:37,444

and I'm more talking about how they walk

this earth, how they carry themselves.

:

00:55:37,924 --> 00:55:43,234

When people see me, one of the things that

they right away is I'm very confident.

:

00:55:44,164 --> 00:55:46,474

And I'm very, and the

world is even competent.

:

00:55:46,594 --> 00:55:49,234

I'm very competent to life.

:

00:55:50,164 --> 00:55:51,874

I can deal with anything in life.

:

00:55:52,654 --> 00:55:53,674

dealt with deaths.

:

00:55:53,884 --> 00:55:58,654

I've dealt with financial, I've dealt

with prison, I've dealt with suicide.

:

00:55:58,654 --> 00:56:02,794

I've dealt with attempted

murders, I've dealt with life.

:

00:56:03,364 --> 00:56:04,174

I can do life.

:

00:56:04,264 --> 00:56:06,184

I'm not afraid of life.

:

00:56:06,364 --> 00:56:08,554

And most importantly,

I'm not afraid of me.

:

00:56:09,694 --> 00:56:13,599

I'm not in a biblical or an

adversarial relationship with self.

:

00:56:13,629 --> 00:56:14,109

I'm not.

:

00:56:14,409 --> 00:56:14,799

I'm not.

:

00:56:15,429 --> 00:56:16,029

I like me.

:

00:56:16,149 --> 00:56:16,839

I'm a good dude.

:

00:56:16,959 --> 00:56:17,979

I'm a kind of gentle man.

:

00:56:18,249 --> 00:56:18,489

Okay.

:

00:56:18,879 --> 00:56:23,089

So number one, if you can't get

a mentor, get someone outside.

:

00:56:23,089 --> 00:56:24,559

Counsel is what I call it.

:

00:56:25,759 --> 00:56:28,919

And the way you do that is you go

up with someone and say, would you

:

00:56:28,919 --> 00:56:30,599

be willing or open to mentoring me?

:

00:56:30,869 --> 00:56:31,919

I'm looking for a mentor.

:

00:56:32,289 --> 00:56:36,909

sometimes they won't, but they'll know

someone and know something about you.

:

00:56:36,909 --> 00:56:43,199

So the number one thing is to ask is to

have the courage, that courage to Okay?

:

00:56:43,349 --> 00:56:49,199

And then the other thing that I would

strongly recommend to have a dream.

:

00:56:50,219 --> 00:56:53,409

And the dream may be just

to be a better husband.

:

00:56:53,469 --> 00:56:58,244

The dream may be just to be a better

father or a better wife or whatever.

:

00:56:58,244 --> 00:57:02,744

Maybe that may be the dream,

but have something to aspire to.

:

00:57:03,614 --> 00:57:05,924

And then reward yourself along the way.

:

00:57:06,594 --> 00:57:10,734

give yourself allowance to make

mistakes and to bounce back.

:

00:57:10,734 --> 00:57:13,704

I wouldn't even have my talk

if it wasn't for resilience.

:

00:57:13,794 --> 00:57:14,304

Okay.

:

00:57:14,674 --> 00:57:16,534

which is the bounce back from the setback.

:

00:57:16,894 --> 00:57:18,364

The comeback from the setback.

:

00:57:19,194 --> 00:57:23,614

leave yourself and then if you

do this is, leave with this one.

:

00:57:23,644 --> 00:57:27,124

This a hundred different ones I could

talk about, but I'll leave with this one

:

00:57:30,574 --> 00:57:31,384

if possible.

:

00:57:31,384 --> 00:57:33,364

Engage with a spiritual entity.

:

00:57:34,564 --> 00:57:36,574

But I wanna under, I make

sure you understand what I

:

00:57:36,574 --> 00:57:38,644

mean by a spiritual presence.

:

00:57:39,454 --> 00:57:44,944

spiritual presence has to modify behavior.

:

00:57:45,724 --> 00:57:48,694

me say that one more time because

that's how important I believe this is.

:

00:57:49,114 --> 00:57:56,044

The spiritual entity or presence or

God, whatever you may want to define it

:

00:57:56,134 --> 00:58:00,874

as, has to modify action and behavior.

:

00:58:02,584 --> 00:58:04,414

If not, it's hollow.

:

00:58:05,514 --> 00:58:07,474

I'm not talking about, seriously.

:

00:58:07,864 --> 00:58:13,234

So if you are a strong Mormon and

that modifies your behavior in

:

00:58:13,234 --> 00:58:16,024

a positive way, God bless you.

:

00:58:16,684 --> 00:58:20,634

If you're a strong person of the

Islamic faith and it modifies your

:

00:58:20,634 --> 00:58:27,504

behavior or self will, that is inimical

or an opposition to God's will.

:

00:58:27,984 --> 00:58:28,674

Thank you.

:

00:58:29,844 --> 00:58:36,694

If you are an atheist that has a

concept of a, a certain thing that

:

00:58:36,694 --> 00:58:40,954

I'm going to adhere to that's based on

integrity or whatever it may be, but it

:

00:58:40,954 --> 00:58:45,814

modifies your behavior, knock yourself

out, agnostic, knock yourself out.

:

00:58:45,844 --> 00:58:46,504

go for it.

:

00:58:47,194 --> 00:58:48,094

But it has to.

:

00:58:48,454 --> 00:58:54,224

So when I go into prayer and I do it,

but rarely, let me put seldom ' cause I

:

00:58:54,224 --> 00:58:56,949

don't need to, I don't have any friction.

:

00:58:58,454 --> 00:59:04,364

What I ask is identify what is the right

thing to do here for my loved ones for

:

00:59:04,364 --> 00:59:09,464

society Now, what's going to give me the

least amount of pain or the most pleasure?

:

00:59:09,524 --> 00:59:11,834

'cause those are the two

reasons we go into self will.

:

00:59:12,014 --> 00:59:15,224

That's a iCal or opposite of God's will.

:

00:59:15,584 --> 00:59:17,684

But what is going to be

the right thing to do?

:

00:59:18,404 --> 00:59:21,164

And then once you've identified that,

it doesn't take usually that long.

:

00:59:21,164 --> 00:59:24,884

I usually know what the right thing

to do is me the courage to do it.

:

00:59:25,289 --> 00:59:26,429

And then I go out and do it.

:

00:59:26,519 --> 00:59:31,679

'cause I'm gonna do it because I have

covenant like David did in the Bible.

:

00:59:31,679 --> 00:59:33,989

I have a covenant, I have an agreement.

:

00:59:34,259 --> 00:59:36,449

'cause you've taken me through a lot.

:

00:59:37,169 --> 00:59:40,799

There's things that I've survived

physically and emotionally.

:

00:59:41,579 --> 00:59:43,709

I hate to say a lot of

people don't survive.

:

00:59:44,339 --> 00:59:45,734

They don't, here.

:

00:59:45,754 --> 00:59:46,024

Russell Newton: right.

:

00:59:46,394 --> 00:59:47,234

Ken Miller: They're in prison.

:

00:59:47,234 --> 00:59:49,244

They're dead, or they're in addiction.

:

00:59:50,264 --> 00:59:50,324

Okay.

:

00:59:50,469 --> 00:59:51,074

That's it.

:

00:59:52,234 --> 00:59:53,134

Russell Newton: Thank you very much.

:

00:59:53,134 --> 00:59:54,364

Thanks for being with us today.

:

00:59:54,644 --> 00:59:54,854

Ken Miller: you.

:

00:59:55,984 --> 00:59:58,899

Russell Newton: So many strong points

that I'm looking forward to editing

:

00:59:59,149 --> 01:00:00,379

and hearing some of these things.

:

01:00:00,379 --> 01:00:05,399

Again, listeners, Ken Miller, you

can learn more at Ken Miller on

:

01:00:05,399 --> 01:00:07,739

YouTube, ken miller speaks.com,

:

01:00:07,739 --> 01:00:08,459

on the internet.

:

01:00:08,799 --> 01:00:13,239

a book Becoming Ken on Amazon

and Audible and other platforms.

:

01:00:13,239 --> 01:00:17,629

There many ways to learn more, from

a man that I feel has a great deal

:

01:00:17,629 --> 01:00:22,939

to give and is just as importantly,

willing and has the courage to

:

01:00:22,939 --> 01:00:24,999

do Thank you, for your time.

:

01:00:25,089 --> 01:00:27,159

Listeners, thank you, Ken, for your time.

:

01:00:27,609 --> 01:00:28,539

Hope you have a great day.

:

01:00:28,789 --> 01:00:29,539

welcome back.

:

01:00:29,839 --> 01:00:33,539

Hope you recover from vacation,

quickly and get right back into things.

:

01:00:33,539 --> 01:00:36,359

Listeners, thanks for joining us

and we'll see you again next week

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