Erika is back after a multi-month sabbatical following the loss of her beloved pet Archer. In this solo episode, she shares a whirlwind of stories, including going viral (literally), dealing with wild family drama and a dating experience so crazy it might have scared her off for good. Join her for a candid and entertaining catch-up as she dives into everything she’s been up to since her last episode.

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Hello and welcome to Clover Club!

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I'm back and I hope you miss me.

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, this episode is going to give you all

the answers you've been looking for.

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Where have I been?

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What have I been doing?

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Why did I stop recording?

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OMG.

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Don't worry.

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I got you.

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, I'm going to update you.

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Of course, there are some

crazy stories in the mix.

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, and then we're going to get

back to our regular, regularly

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programmed, uh, content.

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Okay, last we spoke was in late

April, and I had a fabulous episode

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with comedian Mark Kendall, , and

then I had a bunch of things in

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the works, but life got in the way.

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And so here's, here's what happened.

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So, I went on a date.

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Mistake number one.

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It was literally the Friday

after my last episode came out.

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So, I meet this guy out for a drink.

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We have, uh, A nice time.

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Like he was smart and interesting

and he was very handsome.

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He just was so short,

like shorter than me.

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And, uh, I don't know.

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Am I a dick for commenting on that?

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I guess I maybe am.

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So we have a nice date.

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, we had a couple cocktails and shared each

other's cocktails and that was that.

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A couple days later, I was

like, man, I do not feel good.

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And I asked him , do you feel sick?

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And he did not feel sick.

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So this guy, what he does for work,

he's around kids a lot and is exposed to

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germs a lot because of that, obviously.

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So his immune system is probably

way more robust than mine because

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I try to be very intentional about

not being around a lot of kids.

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, and I, my immune system just like

cannot handle these funky kid viruses.

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So I end up getting like unbelievably

sick and I'm testing negative for

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so I finally go to urgent care, and

like, I can hardly, like, my mom

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literally came down and drove me

because I was so unbelievably sick.

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I don't think I've ever been

this sick in my entire life.

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, truly at least top three.

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, so I find out that I have strep throat

and an ear infection and they give

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me a steroid shot and all of these

drugs and send me on my merry way.

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So that morning that I went to the doctor,

I had started noticing I was getting

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, Quite a bit of traction on a post

from the Hawkins and Clover Instagram.

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And, uh, I'm like, Oh, this is awesome.

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And so when I think when I went into

my appointment, there's a reel that

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had been posted, had like maybe 20,

000 plays, which for us is a big deal.

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Like it is hard to grow an

Instagram account as a business.

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, A lot of people do not go into

business with the idea of like,

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I'm going to be a content creator.

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Uh, it's just one of

those things that you.

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just like a, not an optional

part of running a business.

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So, , this real that started to take off,

it wasn't as similar to anything else

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that we've been posting over the years.

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, but for whatever reason, this

one had the magic sauce and it

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was starting to catch on fire.

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So I get home from the doctor

and I'm laying on my couch.

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I've got a fridge full of like Jell O

and applesauce and broth, and I'm just

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like, not interested in any of it.

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, and so.

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The reel that had gone viral

was a reel displaying some of

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the rolling papers that we sell.

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These rolling papers are

made with organic paper, eco

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friendly, soy based veggie dyes.

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They are like, Totally

organic, totally safe.

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That is something that is kind of like

a, like big brand principle for me is

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that I don't sell cheap, shitty stuff.

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And especially things that

you're smoking or inhaling.

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I will only sell the highest quality.

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So as this real is catching fire,

I'm starting to get some haters and

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people are like, I can't believe

that you're glorifying smoking.

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This is disgusting.

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Like really, really mean stuff.

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And I was like, Oh God.

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And in that moment, it's like, I've got.

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kind of a couple of

different paths I can choose.

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I can ignore it.

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I can respond very professionally or

I can respond like Erica, who is sick

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as fuck and just got a steroid shot.

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So I'm in the comments like fucking

fruit ninja just talking shit.

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And as I am doing that,

this reel is on fire.

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It went a round the literal globe.

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Okay.

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So we had, I think, 17,

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When this all started, we

now have almost 45, 000.

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This real at the time of

recording, this episode has 24.

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5 million views.

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Okay.

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It went nuts, but in this moment of

choosing to be authentic in my responses,

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I really think that I can credit a lot of

the like viralness of the real to that.

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, cause I also, I'm just like, I don't care.

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Like you're not coming into my house.

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And talking shit to me.

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I've done my research.

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I'm happy to talk about it.

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, but people are just looking for reasons

to be mean and you've come to the

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wrong place if that's your intent.

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, so I'm still unbelievably sick.

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I, I lose my voice.

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I literally like could not

hear out of my right ear.

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It was still infected.

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And to this day, I cannot

fully hear out of my right ear.

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, I did go to an ENT and his advice was to

do nothing and that it'll sort itself out.

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It has not sorted itself out, but the

thing to do is , if I went back to

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an ENT is they have to puncture my

eardrum and like drain the fluid that's

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trapped behind my eardrum, I guess.

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, but he was like, they, these

don't always heal properly.

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And so it's kind of like a last case

scenario and I don't want an unhealed

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eardrum, so I'm really just kind of, I'm

just gonna let nature take care of it.

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I guess, I don't know.

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It's annoying, but it's not annoying

enough that I want my eardrum literally

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sliced open, you know what I mean?

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so around this time I have gone viral.

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The guy that I had gone on the date with

was very apologetic and acknowledged he

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was certainly the reason that I was sick.

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, but then he got very annoying

and like obsessed with me.

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And so I had to tell him,

don't leave me alone.

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, and it's not that I can blame him, but

it was just too fucking much, especially

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combined with being sick and all of that.

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And I was just like, nope.

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So, , I'm just.

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So sick, again, like, literally zero

energy, cannot talk, cannot hear.

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, I had to cancel so much work.

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And, kind of, as things were getting

bad, my mom had texted me and she

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was like, Hey, , your dad and I are

gonna come and pick up your dogs.

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, So you can just like, focus on

getting better, which I so appreciated

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because I never would have asked for

that type of help, but I needed it.

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And so thank you, mom.

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That was solid move.

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, my dogs were in Roswell for 10 days.

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So I go up finally.

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I'm like, Going back to work, starting

to feel like I'm getting better.

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I'm like done with all of my rounds

of medication and stuff like that.

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, I pick up my dogs after work

on a Wednesday, Thursday.

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I go to work like normal.

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I come back and I'm driving home from

work and I get a fucking flat tire.

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And I'm like, you've got to be kidding me.

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This is the last thing that I

feel like dealing with right now.

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And so I'm like, you know what?

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I will Uber to work tomorrow and, , I

will deal with this tire over the weekend.

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So I go home, and , I went on

a walk with my dogs that night.

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That was so beautiful.

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The sun was setting.

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The sky was pink and orange

and just absolutely gorgeous.

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I found multiple four leaf clovers.

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It was a very special walk.

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And my oldest dog, Archer is four.

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14 and a half and his mobility as a

senior guy has been on the decline.

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And so this was one of the longer

walks that we had taken in months.

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And it was just so delightful

just to be out there with my

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dogs, have them back home with me.

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, it was very special.

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So I'm going on about this

walk because what comes next

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trigger warning fucking sucks.

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Um, God, this has been like almost six

months now and I'm like already getting

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emotional just trying to like retell

this and I'm, I can't go into too much

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detail on this cause I'll just lose it.

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But the next morning, that Friday

morning I woke up and something

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was clearly wrong with Archer.

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And like I said, he's 14

and a half, but his health.

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fabulous.

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I mean, he was old, but like

he had zero health issues.

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Okay.

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, so something was clearly along with them

and I was like, holy fuck, holy fuck,

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I've got to get him to the emergency vet.

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So I'm starting to like, get his, you

know, leash on and stuff like that.

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And I realized, fuck,

I've got a flat tire.

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I can't even drive him to the vet.

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So I call my parents hysterical and I'm

like, something is wrong with Archer.

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Can you please come pick us up?

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, We've got to go to the emergency vet.

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And, uh, you know, of course,

without hesitation, they came down.

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, luckily traffic was good.

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They got there as quickly

as you possibly can.

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They live about 30 minutes away.

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, and Archer and Luna, I, in 14

years have never separated them.

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14 and a half years.

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I mean, they are a packaged deal.

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They go to the vet together.

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They go to, doggy daycare together.

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Like they're, they're

literally never separated.

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, and so we took Luna with us and.

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Uh,

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I think I knew in that car ride, Archer

would not be coming home with me,

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but there was still a part of me that

hoped there was something that could

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be done while also knowing at 14 and

a half, I wasn't going to do any sort

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of, , like aggressive intervention.

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, so unfortunately I did get the bad

news at the vet that, , what was

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happening was terminal and, uh,

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It all happened so quickly.

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Um, does it, for people who have

lost dogs, does this ever get

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easier to talk about because

I just, God, it fucking sucks.

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So, um, I had to say goodbye to

Archer and for the last six months,

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I just haven't been myself, um,

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It is the hardest thing I've

ever had to do in my life, and

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I have done some hard shit.

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I've lost human beings, um, and I

thought that that would prepare me for

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this, but it fucking totally doesn't.

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Like, I didn't live with those

human beings, and they weren't

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my whole world for fourteen and a

half years, you know what I mean?

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And the additional difficult part

of this, um, was grieving with

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Luna because she just didn't know

what to do without her big brother.

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It was gut wrenching.

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I mean, every day she came

home and would just immediately

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go search the house for him.

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And it's almost like I had this vibe.

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Like she thought that I like,

like she was like mad at me.

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Like I had done something

optional, you know what I mean?

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And it's just, um, Yeah,

it's the worst thing.

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It continues to be the hardest

thing I've ever processed.

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, so essentially for the last six months,

I have been doing the bare minimum, and

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just processing the grief of losing him.

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Um, uh, I really haven't

been socializing much.

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I haven't been traveling as much.

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, I just kind of would go to work

and come home and like cry and

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like order Uber eats with Luna.

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, uh, it's been really sad.

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So as I'm trying to navigate what

happened with Archer and process

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my grief, I did everything.

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I started taking jujitsu classes.

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I started playing tennis again.

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, I started hiking.

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I bought a paddle board that's like

designed to use with dogs and Luna and

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I started paddle boarding together.

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And I also started taking Luna

to work with me because she just

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like, could not be at home alone.

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, she would just.

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Cry and my neighbors would text me and

just like, Hey, Luna is like sobbing.

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Like, is it okay if we

bring her over to our house?

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Which of course, so I'm, I'm very lucky.

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It's, you know, when something like

this happens, you really see who

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cares about you and who doesn't.

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Um, and it's just kind of interesting.

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Like who really went out of

their way to show up for me, not

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just initially, but like months

afterwards to check in with me.

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, Which I will never forget.

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, so, in my tennis playing, I My foot

like you've got to be kidding me.

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I'm already having the worst year ever.

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, so I break my foot and so then

I'm in a boot and I'm sad and

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then I can't play tennis or have

like a physical outlet anymore.

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So that super, super sucked.

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, so then, and I still do

not know how this happened.

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I started feeling unhealthy again.

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And I was like, is my

strep like coming back?

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Like what is going on?

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And.

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I test positive for fucking

COVID and I'm like, Oh my God.

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So I then have COVID and a broken foot

and a dead dog and I'm just at my worst.

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I mean, this was, , the

epitome of sad girl summer.

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, but I just, I just took

it one day at a time.

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I just kind of like really shrunk my

world down and just did what I could

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and let everything else go, which

obviously includes this podcast.

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And even a couple of times I came in

here and I recorded like the episode

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you listen to now, I've recorded this

multiple times and then I just would

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end it and be like, this isn't right.

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It's too emotional.

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It's too, uh, Like, like I'm not in

this, I'm doing this because I feel like

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I need to because people are wondering

why I haven't posted an episode and

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that's not the reason to come back.

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And so I just didn't post those.

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I think it was cathartic, but, , you

don't want to listen to that.

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So I was just not having a great time.

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, but my mom and I.

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planned a trip up to New England for

August and August is my birthday.

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It's my favorite day of the year.

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I always go out of town or do

something special for my birthday.

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, and so this year I decided to do

a trip with my mom to new England.

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So leading up to this trip, the night

before I drive up to Roswell and

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I, , Bring Luna because my dad's gonna

watch her and this is if this gets

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confusing my parents I don't know if

I've shared this before my parents are

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still married, but they live separately.

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So if I say sometimes I just by default

say my parents house because it's like

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Easier, but my parents live separately.

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And so, , that's going to come up in this.

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So I just want to like clarify in case

you're like, what are you talking about?

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, so I bring Luna to my dad's

house to drop her off.

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And then my mom comes to my

dad's and picks up my dad

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and I, and we go have dinner.

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So we have dinner.

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Everything's great.

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And we're walking back to the car.

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And I noticed that my dad's left ankle is

like twice the size of his right ankle.

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And I was like, dad,

did you hurt your ankle?

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And he's like, no, it's fine.

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And I was like, uh, it's not fine.

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It's like huge.

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And immediately I'm thinking of a

client who recently had had a situation

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very similar with her husband, where

he had had a blood clot and they were

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walking back to their car after a meal.

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And she noticed one of his calves

was like a lot bigger than the other.

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And he ended up being in

the hospital for days.

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And it was like, this is a big deal.

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If it moves to your lungs or to your brain

or to your heart, you're, you know, toast.

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So I'm like, dad, like, uh,

I'm, I'm concerned about this.

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And my mom kind of holds back and

she's like, Kenneth, she's right.

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It looks huge.

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, and I'm like, yeah, see,

like something is wrong.

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And he's like, that's fine.

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So we get into the car and I'm in the

front seat cause I still have my boot

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on cause I've got a broken fucking

foot and my dad's in the backseat.

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My mom is driving.

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, so we're driving down, if you can

picture North Point Parkway, if you can't

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picture that, it is a main thoroughfare

with like, I think three or three

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lanes on each side, maybe two lanes.

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Maybe three lanes.

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, but this is like a big

thoroughfare in Roswell.

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And I have texted this client and

I'm like, Hey, like, will you walk

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me through what happened with your

husband's blood clot, dah, dah, dah, dah.

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She writes back and says, okay, if this

is what it is, this is an emergency, you

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need to go straight to the emergency room.

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Do not go to urgent care.

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They don't have ultrasound imaging.

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They're just going to send

you to the emergency room.

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So I'm like, okay.

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And I'm like.

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Dad, like my client says, da, da,

da, da, and he's like, I don't

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give a fuck what your client says.

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And I'm like, uh, okay.

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And my mom and I are looking at

each other like, what the fuck?

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Like, what are we supposed

to do in this situation?

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So, I'm just like, I'm overruling you.

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And I put into the navigation,

like the closest emergency room.

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And my dad's like, I'm not

going to the fucking hospital.

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He's losing his mind.

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It's like you're trying to

take a toy away from a child.

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And we're just like, what the fuck?

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, So, we're driving down North Pointe

Parkway and we hear my dad's seatbelt

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unclick and my mom's like, Kenneth,

what are you doing back there?

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So she slows down a little, looks

over her shoulder, in time to

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see my dad jump out of the moving

vehicle onto North Pointe Parkway.

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And we're just like, oh

my god, what the fuck?

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The car behind us, like, slams down.

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Slams on their brakes and like honks, my

mom and my mom's like, oh fuck you, can't

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you tell I'm dealing with a crazy person?

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And I'm just like, oh my God.

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Like, okay.

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I was like, mom, there's an

office park right up here on

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the right, pull in there.

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So she pulls over and she's

like, can you see him?

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Is he okay?

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And I like, look behind

me and like, he's fine.

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He's just walking down the

sidewalk like something.

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And I'm just like, Oh my God, he's fine.

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And so we're just like, what do we do?

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What the fuck?

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I wish this had been recorded

because it sounds literally fake.

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It's so nuts.

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, and so my dad walks up to my mom's

window and like bangs on the window.

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And he's like, get out.

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I'm driving.

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And my mom's like, the fuck you are.

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Get in the back seat, you asshole.

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And so my dad gets in the back

seat and we just look at him like,

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bro, what just happened there?

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And he's just like, there's an urgent care

at the end of my street, I'll go there.

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And I'm just like, dad, that's so

inefficient, like, , my client said.

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We shouldn't go to urgent care.

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We need to go to the ER, da da da.

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And my mom's like, Oh, shut up, Erica.

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Can't you take a win when you get one?

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And I'm like, I don't think

inefficiency is a win.

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So then all of us are fighting

because I think this plan is dumb.

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I think this plan is a waste of time.

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And she and I are supposed to be

leaving at 5 AM the next morning

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to drive 18 hours to Cape Cod.

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Like the timing couldn't be

more inconvenient for us.

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You know what I mean?

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, and so I'm just like, what, whatever.

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So we go to urgent care.

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Of course, it's all like a digital

check in and stuff like that.

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And so , I'm like, Dad, give

me your insurance card and

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your ID and dah, dah, dah.

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Like, I'll handle this.

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So I get him registered or

whatever, and the doctor calls him

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back and my mom goes back with him.

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I wait in the lobby., So, they go

back there and the doctor says,

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What seems to be the problem?

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And my dad's like, Oh, my idiot

daughter thinks I have a blood clot.

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And the doctor's like, Alright, well,

let's go over some questions here.

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, and he looks at my dad's ankle

and he's like, Well, this does

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present as a possible blood clot.

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Let me ask you a couple of questions.

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, in the last two years, have you had

any, , operations or procedures?

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My dad says, no.

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My mom says, Kenneth, you idiot.

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You had a heart attack last

year and had a stint put in.

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And my dad was like, Oh yeah.

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And the doctor's like, Oh my

God, like very interesting.

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Okay.

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That certainly increases the

likelihood of a blood clot.

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, let me ask you, are you on any medication?

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Oh yeah,

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I just take whatever they give me.

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And the doctor's like, does whatever they

give you have like a name or like a dosage

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amount or like any fucking details at all?

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And then my mom's like, Kenneth,

how do you not know what you take?

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This is insane.

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And so they have this wild thing

and the doctor's basically like,

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well, I agree with your daughter.

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This looks like it could possibly

be a blood clot, but we don't

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have an ultrasound machine.

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So you need to go to the hospital

and get an ultrasound done.

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Kind of like I fucking said.

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So they exit the back and i'm just

like We walk into the parking lot

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together and I of course I know From

my mom sharing with me after the

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fact what happened in that room.

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But at this stage of things, I

don't know what was discussed.

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So I'm just like, what did he say?

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And my mom's like, well, he agrees

that this looks like it could

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be a blood clot and that your

father should get an ultrasound.

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And I'm like, okay, kind of

like I said, , so are we headed

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to the hospital right now?

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And my dad's like, I'm not

going to the fucking hospital.

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And I'm like, well, wait a minute.

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Did a doctor literally just tell you

that you should go to the hospital?

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And, uh, Yeah.

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He loses his mind.

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So he's yelling at me in the middle

of this parking lot in the suburbs.

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There's like families getting ice

cream, like, you know, like what

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in the Jerry Springer is happening.

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And I'm yelling back because I, for

all the times that I was a little

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girl and my dad would yell at me

and I was like, too scared to say

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anything, like, not anymore, sir.

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Like you don't pay my bills.

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You don't control me.

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You're not going to talk to me that way.

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, I'm not proud of the way I acted,

but if you heard the way he spoke

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to me, you would understand.

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, so he's like, I'm walking

home and I'm like, good.

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I hope you get hit by a car.

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And my mom's like, Jesus Christ.

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And she's like, everybody

get in the fucking car.

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So we get in the car, we drive the

three minutes back to my dad's house.

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I get out of the car.

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I don't go in and say goodbye to Luna.

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I don't talk to my parents.

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I just get in my car and I drive

straight to my mom's house.

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And, on the way, I was like, okay,

, there's one move I have in this scenario.

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, I'm going to call my brother.

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Now my brother historically is not an

especially helpful person, , but he was

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going to be the family member in town.

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So if this was what we suspected

it was, I wanted him to be there.

445

In the loop on what was going on and

just know that my dad and I might need

446

help with, you know, transportation or

taking care of pets or like whatever.

447

, and my parents don't communicate, so

I knew they would not be calling him.

448

So I call him and we don't have a

super close relationship because he's

449

kind of an asshole with my brother.

450

, and I'm like, Hey, like.

451

I just want to fill you

in on what just happened.

452

Like dad's okay, but there's kind of

a question mark hanging in the air

453

about what's going on with his ankle.

454

And I just wanted to, to put you in the

loop in case your help may be needed.

455

My brother's response, fuck that he

did this to himself with that vaccine.

456

And I was like, what the COVID

vaccine, the one that there hasn't

457

been a booster for and over a year

has now magically given our father.

458

A blood clot?

459

And like, if dad had been smoking a

pack of Marlboros a day for 40 years

460

and got lung cancer, you wouldn't reply

like, fuck that, he did it to himself.

461

Like, what a wild place to take this.

462

So I was just like, whoa.

463

And I'm like, okay, so you're refusing to

help dad in a potential medical emergency

464

because he got the COVID vaccine.

465

And my brother said, yep.

466

And I was like, Awesome.

467

So I hang up the phone and I'm

like, Oh my God, my family's insane.

468

And there's just no amount of

therapy that will change that fact.

469

It's like, I can only change

the way I react to it.

470

And , I was just so disappointed and

like, I knew my brother was vaccinated

471

and , you know, obviously, uh, you know,

maybe nothing's obvious these days.

472

I don't fucking know.

473

It's not the path that I took, but I,

, just try to not get into it with him.

474

But I didn't realize kind of like how.

475

Deep the misinformation was to him.

476

So my mom comes back to her house.

477

We go inside and I tell her about

the phone call with my brother.

478

She tells me that dad agreed to go to his

primary care doctor on Monday morning.

479

Remember this is Saturday night.

480

This is all happening.

481

, and I'm just like, okay, but his

primary care doctor also doesn't

482

have an ultrasound machine.

483

So this is just like, he's just

delaying the inevitable, which is going

484

to the hospital for an ultrasound.

485

And my mom's like, Erica.

486

Yeah.

487

You see what we're dealing

with, with your father.

488

Like, just, this is the

best I could have done.

489

And I'm just like, okay, whatever.

490

, but I'm so stressed out at

this point that I'm just like,

491

I have got to smoke a joint.

492

And, uh, the way that some people

are like, God, I need a drink.

493

I was like, God, I need a joint.

494

So, I'm sitting on my mom's couch and

I'm like starting to roll a joint.

495

And she looks at me and she's like,

And where do you plan on smoking that?

496

And I was like, Don't

worry, I'm gonna go outside.

497

And she's like, Ah, you're gonna

get eaten by mosquitoes out there.

498

And I was like, What?

499

I'm like, Would you rather me

smoke it in your living room?

500

And she was like, Yes, let me get

you something to use as an ashtray.

501

And I was like, What the

fuck is happening right now?

502

So my mom goes into her kitchen and

she comes back with like a dinner bowl.

503

And she's like, Here you go.

504

And I'm like, Okay, so I'm soaking a

joint in my mom's living room dashing

505

into fiesta ware and we're talking

about how unhinged my dad is and

506

Then we go to sleep and get ready

to go on this trip the next day.

507

So my mom and I hit the road on Sunday.

508

, we drive from Atlanta and we make

it up to Pennsylvania and the next

509

day it was going to be Pennsylvania.

510

So, and that would be Monday, the

day my dad is supposed to be going

511

to see his primary care doctor.

512

And we had a goal of having

pizza in New Haven for lunch.

513

, and we went to Pepe's,

which is like world famous.

514

And I'm sorry, I just want to put

all of you New Haveners on blast.

515

That pizza fucking sucks.

516

It sucks.

517

I looked like a child coal

miner when I was done eating it.

518

I mean, I'm like, my

hands are covered in soot.

519

It was not good at all.

520

I do not understand.

521

There was a line around the block.

522

People are obsessed and I just, I'm sorry.

523

Sucks.

524

Sucks.

525

, so, anyways.

526

We're driving after our pizza, and my

dad calls and says, , Well, I just left

527

my primary care, and he says, It looks

like it could be a blood clot, but he

528

doesn't have an ultrasound machine.

529

So he wrote me an order to go to

the hospital to get an ultrasound,

530

and it says, And we're like, really?

531

And I was just like, kind

of like I said I would.

532

And my mom's like, shh.

533

And she's like, that's great,

Kenneth, you keep us posted.

534

And I'm just like, oh my god.

535

So a couple hours later he calls us.

536

My mom answers and I can hear

through the phone that my dad

537

says, no blood clot, bitches!

538

And we're like, really?

539

It's like the only time good news is

bad, because now you know in the future,

540

if there's another medical issue,

he's gonna be like, Oh, remember when

541

you told me I had a fake blood clot?

542

Uh, I'm not going to the fucking doctor.

543

And so, we're like, oh my gosh.

544

And so my mom's like,

that's wonderful news, Ken.

545

What is it?

546

And he's like, I don't know.

547

And she's like, well tell me.

548

And he's like, no, have a good trip.

549

And he hangs up the phone.

550

We're just like, Oh my God.

551

So at least from there, we're like, all

right, he doesn't have , a big book lot.

552

We can enjoy the rest of our trip.

553

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554

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555

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556

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568

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569

So we had a great time in Cape Cod.

570

We went from Cape Cod to Portland,

Maine, from Portland, Maine to

571

Bar Harbor, Maine, and then drove

all the way back to Atlanta.

572

So there was lots of car time.

573

, but it was honestly like

the weather was wonderful.

574

The scenery was great.

575

The lobster rolls were good.

576

, and like on our second to last day in Bar

Harbor, , Well, we had been doing like

577

a lot of antiquing, like I love antique

shopping and going to just like thrift

578

stores and antique stores and like all

of that stuff, especially in that area.

579

I don't know.

580

It just feels like cooler.

581

, so we're in this antique

store and I find this bowl.

582

It's a nesting bowl set of Pyrex.

583

They're like pink and white, gorgeous.

584

And , immediately my eye was caught

and I was like, I have to have these.

585

And, I look at the price.

586

They're 325 for four mixing bowls.

587

And I was like, you are out of your mind.

588

And this place like this old

barn on the side of the road

589

that just was like antiques open.

590

Like it was like a no frills situation.

591

And there were a couple of pieces of art

there that I was really interested in, but

592

they were all, Unbelievably overpriced.

593

So in my mind I was like, okay,

these bowls are also overpriced.

594

I'm sure I can get them online.

595

So I leave empty handed

and then cell service up.

596

There's a little spotty.

597

So we got back to the hotel room

with wifi and I start searching for

598

these bowls and I find that I can

buy them online for four, five, Six,

599

seven hundred dollars for the set.

600

It's the most sought after

Pyrex pattern that exists.

601

And I was like, God damn it.

602

Like having expensive taste in a good

eye just is a struggle of my life.

603

, so I'm like, fuck, I've like given

up such a big opportunity here.

604

And I try to find this antique store

again, but we're leaving the next day.

605

They're closed the next day.

606

And there's just no, like, So, we weave

down the east coast, popping into all

607

of these different antique stores.

608

, and I walk in, I'm like, Hi, do

you have that Pyrex Cinderella

609

nesting bowl set in Gooseberry?

610

And they're like, Ha!

611

Fat chance, bitch.

612

, like, you're never gonna see those.

613

And they're like, if we get them

in, they're gone immediately.

614

, and I'm like, God damn it.

615

So, I casually mention to my mom,

like, you know, I know dad has no

616

intention of apologizing to me for

the way he spoke to me before we left,

617

but if he wants to apologize via these

Pyrex bowls, I am available for that.

618

And also, like I mentioned, like

we were gone for my birthday,

619

, which is also my dad's birthday.

620

, so, , once we had been back, my

dad sent me a text with like a

621

link to the, the bowls on eBay and

he was like, Do you want these?

622

I'll buy them for you.

623

And I was like, yes, I do.

624

So the silver lining, happy ending ish

thing there was that I got my bowls.

625

So

626

I get back in town and, have a date.

627

Now this is somebody I haven't mentioned,

, cause he was not worth mentioning.

628

, but I had been casually.

629

Dating this guy and, Kind of

intentionally casual, right?

630

Like I had, I was still processing the

Archer stuff, so I wasn't really super

631

available for anything of substance.

632

, and quite frankly, nothing

ruins a relationship with a

633

man like getting to know him.

634

And so I had kind of

intentionally kept things light.

635

, but it was a kind of a perfect situation.

636

I never put in any effort.

637

I never texted first.

638

I never called first.

639

I never paid a bill.

640

Like it was, uh, Honestly, perfect.

641

, so I've been seeing this guy

once a week, once every other

642

week for the past couple months.

643

And after we got back in town, , from

our trip, it was Labor Day weekend

644

and he and I had a date planned.

645

So a little backstory on this guy, , let's

see, I'm going to have to use fake names.

646

Let me give him a fake name.

647

Okay.

648

So we're going to call him Chris.

649

So Chris went to Northwestern on a

football scholarship, got a business

650

degree, works for Wayfair, , drives

a new Tesla, which this is not me,

651

like, Implying that that's good.

652

I just want to paint the picture of

what type of person he is, right?

653

Kind of a douche.

654

But he's a nice guy.

655

, he used to live in those apartments

on Cheshire bridge that burnt down.

656

, and when they burnt down, he

moved in with his brother and his

657

brother's girlfriend, and they live

kind of North of Stone Mountain.

658

So like not inside the perimeter.

659

But one thing about me is if

I'm casually dating a person, I

660

do not Invite them to my home.

661

So I've only ever gone out there, but his

brother and his brother's girlfriend, they

662

like to spend their weekends in Athens.

663

And so very regularly it would be like,

hey, My brother and his girlfriend are

664

out, you know, like let's grab a drink

or whatever and got the house to myself.

665

Wonderful.

666

Okay, so that was kind of the vibe.

667

I had never met them and I

never wanted to meet them.

668

So anyways, liberty weekend, we have a

date and it's like very fun and I was

669

driving home and I'm like, you know, I

have this guy very tightly packed into

670

a specific box, but I just have this

moment of like, am I selling myself short?

671

Like this is kind of like, there's a

lot of good things here, even though

672

he's really not my type at all.

673

He has a widow's peak that he shaves,

which is just like an immediate no.

674

So, but I'm driving home and I

think I Again, intentionally, I

675

don't know a ton about this guy.

676

So let me do a little like reconnaissance

work and see if I can find his

677

social media or find out more about

him and see if he's like the type

678

of person that I would want to date,

like with any sort of seriousness.

679

, so I start Googling and I'm like, you

know, So, Chris, Northwestern, Wayfair,

680

like all the buzzwords that I know.

681

But nothing's coming up.

682

But there's also a million Chrises,

so that's not really crazy.

683

, and so I think, ooh, let me pull the

property records for his brother's house.

684

And then from there, I can find

his brother's social media.

685

And then from there, I can

find Chris's social media.

686

So, I pull the property records for the

house, and I see that the house is in

687

the name of, , Richard and Sarah Souza.

688

And I'm like, okay, great.

689

So, I go onto Facebook, and

I'm like, Richard Souza.

690

And I'm scrolling through the

profiles, and one catches my eye.

691

So I click on it, and I zoom in on

the main picture, and I see a picture.

692

Of Chris with a wedding ring on.

693

And I was like, fuck, fuck.

694

And then I had this brief moment

of like, maybe he's a twin.

695

He's not a twin.

696

So I do some more research and what I

realize is that Chris doesn't exist.

697

Chris is Richard who has created

an entirely fake identity.

698

kind of custom made for someone

like me to be attracted to.

699

So Chris is married to Sarah,

who is an overnight nurse.

700

So instead of the brother and

girlfriend being out of town in

701

Athens for the weekends, this lady

is like working hospital shifts

702

and I am in her fucking house.

703

So I freak out and I'm like, Oh my God.

704

And luckily I'm a member of, , you

may have heard of those groups, are

705

we dating the same guy on Facebook?

706

And so I post his whole fucking picture

and I say, Hey ladies, , I just found

707

out the guy I've been seeing for the

past couple of months is married.

708

He told me his name was Chris, but it's

Richard, , posting to warn other women

709

and to try to find his wife, Sarah.

710

Um, I get at this point, there's

like over 60 comments in this thread.

711

Oh my God.

712

He told me his name was this.

713

He told me his name was this.

714

I met him here.

715

I met him here.

716

I met him here.

717

Please DM me.

718

Please DM me.

719

Please DM me.

720

I'm an investigative journalist.

721

Please DM me and I'll give

you all the wife's info.

722

And I'm like, Oh my God.

723

Oh my God.

724

Oh my God.

725

Then I start panicking.

726

Like this guy is a professional, con man.

727

I feel so grossed out.

728

And so I messaged the first

girl and I'm like, Hey, like,

729

what's the story with Chris?

730

And she's like, Oh my God, I met

731

he was married and he robbed me.

732

I had to file a police report.

733

Eventually I got my stuff

back, but , he's a bad guy.

734

Stay away from him.

735

And I'm like, Oh my God.

736

And she's like, I told the

wife, she knows what he is like.

737

Don't waste your time with her.

738

She's fucking worthless.

739

And I'm like, Oh my God.

740

And so another girl's like,

Oh my God, he goes to my gym.

741

I've never had a single

conversation with him in my life.

742

, but he like follows me on Instagram.

743

He's just like the weird guy at my

gym that follows me on Instagram.

744

And I was like, Oh my God, I've

been trying to find his Instagram.

745

Will you send it to me?

746

So she sends me his Instagram and

I realized he's already found all

747

of my social media and blocked

me so that I could never come up.

748

Like this guy is a professional.

749

So at this point I'm like, okay,

you've got to be kidding me.

750

I've, I've also spoken to

the investigative journalist.

751

, she has like pulled this lady's

like nursing license number.

752

She's given me multiple phone numbers

and emails and contact information.

753

And so I feel like I have

the information I need.

754

So the next morning, Labor Day, , I

sent him a text and I was like,

755

Hey, can I ask you a question?

756

And he's like, of course, babe, what's up?

757

And I was like, are you married?

758

And the text bubble pops up and

goes away and pops up and goes away.

759

And he replies.

760

Yes, I am.

761

And I was like, well, that was easy.

762

, so I said, thanks for your honesty.

763

, anything else you care to share?

764

And he says, you're welcome.

765

I apologize for not

disclosing that sooner.

766

And I was like, yeah, you obviously

weren't going to disclose this.

767

I was like, you are disgusting.

768

And I was like, does your

wife know that you do this?

769

And he said, no, she doesn't.

770

And I said, she's about to,

and he said, I understand.

771

I'm so sorry.

772

I've recently been diagnosed with a sexual

addiction and I am getting treatment.

773

And I'm like, bitch, I was at your house.

774

18 hours ago, like, no, you're not

like, and I call such bullshit on that.

775

, and I was like, all right,

buddy, here's the deal.

776

Obviously I need to get an STD test.

777

You're going to be paying for that.

778

You're also going to reimburse

me for every fucking drop of gas

779

that I've spent going to and fro.

780

And then you're going to put a little

sprinkle, sprinkle on top of that number.

781

And if I'm happy with it,

I will leave you alone.

782

And if I'm not, you're going to

regret ever fucking meeting me.

783

And he's like, I understand.

784

I'm so sorry.

785

So I send him my Venmo and

then he Venmo's me five.

786

Hundred.

787

So I'm like, 500 LOL?

788

You're missing a zero, bitch.

789

Game on.

790

So then, I text his wife.

791

And I said, Hi Sarah, , hate to

be texting with bad news, but

792

I've been dating your husband.

793

I literally just found out that

he's like, created an entirely false

794

identity and is actually married.

795

I'm , So sorry, but as a girl's girl,

obviously I had to let you know.

796

, I'm happy to answer any questions

you have about details or

797

timeline or anything like that.

798

And again, I'm just so sorry.

799

, so she writes back, thanks

for letting me know.

800

, right now I'm just in shock because

he's been in treatment for years.

801

for sexual addiction and he hasn't

relapsed in over a year and I said You

802

should know that I posted about this on

a Facebook group and there's over 60

803

replies He's been doing this your entire

marriage certainly including the last

804

year , and I was like, you need to know

that I've been in your house like a lot.

805

And she was like, honestly, I just

can't have this messing with my work.

806

And I was like, well, that's something

I'd probably take up with your husband.

807

And then this time I'm just like,

this is not how a normal girl

808

responds to something like this.

809

So I'm texting with a friend

of mine on the side and they're

810

like, well, hold on if she works

overnights, how is she available

811

to be responding to you right now?

812

Are you sure it's not him on her phone

or like a family iPad or something

813

like that doing damage control?

814

And I was like, Oh, Oh

my God, I'm not sure.

815

And I go back and I like look at my

text with her and like the verbage

816

and cadence of speech and like all of

that is like the same as texting him.

817

And I was like, Oh my God, Oh my God.

818

So I said, Sarah, If this is you,

I need you to do me a favor and I

819

need you to take a selfie holding

up three fingers in front of the

820

strawberry painting in your kitchen.

821

And she writes back and says,

I'm not going to fucking do that.

822

I'm a victim in this too.

823

Da da da da da.

824

And I was like, boom.

825

And I was like, that's

what I fucking thought.

826

And then I get a response.

827

And it's a selfie of her holding

up three fingers in front

828

of the strawberry painting.

829

It was her.

830

She just fucking sucks.

831

And I'm like, Oh my God.

832

And I was like, holy shit.

833

And she was like, I'm

fucking black and gay.

834

And I was like, that's fine.

835

I was like, whatever you do with

this information is up to you.

836

I just had to make sure that

I was getting it to you.

837

Wishing you happiness and healing.

838

So then I stopped corresponding

with her and then I re download the

839

app that I had met him on and , of

course we're not matched anymore.

840

And so I reach out to them

and I'm like, Hey, can This

841

is the experience I just had.

842

I don't know if you can pull up my past

matches, but this guy's a predator.

843

Da da da da.

844

And they're like, Oh my gosh,

thank you for letting us know.

845

We found his profile and disabled it.

846

, we take these things very seriously.

847

, of course, if he gets another phone

number, like we wouldn't know, but

848

.

We've deleted what we have access to.

849

So I was like, cool.

850

Thanks.

851

Then I emailed the chief of

police for Gwinnett County.

852

And I said, Hey, you have a citizen

named this with this phone number with

853

this address, who has been up to this.

854

I don't know if like an actual

crime has been committed yet.

855

Although he did rob one of the

856

report, but should this escalate

as these things tend to do, I would

857

like for there to be a paper trail.

858

Now, of course they have

not written back to me.

859

They're probably busy like giving him the

keys to the city, like this fucking guy.

860

Um, but I had to like, I had to, and then

the last message I sent was to my lawyer

861

and I'm like, , what are my options here?

862

, cause I didn't consent

to anything with Richard.

863

, I've never heard of Richard

until, you know what I mean?

864

, and so he's like, well, it's

kind of hard to prove damages.

865

, but.

866

If your STD test comes back

with something, then we

867

absolutely like can, yes.

868

, but of course the goal

is to not have an STD.

869

So alas, my tests have come

back clean and I am good to go.

870

But, , that is the craziest fucking

dating situation I have ever been in.

871

And that says a lot.

872

So I am officially in my,

um, Fuck that shit era.

873

So the next person I date is going to

have to be like an in person connection

874

with, it comes with like multiple

referral sources and people vouching

875

for them because I can fucking not.

876

, so that happened and then, you

know, it's election season.

877

I've got some business moves I'm making.

878

Things have been busy, but all in all,

I can say with confidence that Luna

879

and I both are past that first kind

of big block of our grieving journey.

880

, as you heard, just talking about it

earlier in this episode, it's still

881

deeply emotional and upsetting for me

to talk about what happened with Archer.

882

I still think about him literally

every second of every day.

883

, and I will be processing

this, I think forever.

884

It is not easy.

885

, but I, I'm able to like, Engage

with life again in the way that I

886

want to, , I've got a big trip that

I'm planning in January that I'll

887

share more about in another episode.

888

, and I've got lots of fun things

in the works for you listeners.

889

, including my next episode that

will be out about the salmon

890

industry, very intriguing.

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, so.

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That is my story of where I've

been, where I had gone, why I

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was absent, and how I am back.

894

, thank you so much for listening.

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I, it feels good to be

back up here, reengaged.

896

, I hope all of you have had a

better summer and year than I have.

897

, And if you haven't already get out there

and vote, , early and in person is ideal.

898

And, , yeah, thank you so much

for listening as always Clover

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club listeners get 10 percent

off at Hawkins and clover.

900

com with code Clover club, all caps.

901

And I will look forward

to hearing you next week.

902

Goodbye.