Key Traits and Qualities That Define a Good Coach
In this episode, John and Angie explore the essential qualities that make someone a good coach.
They discuss the importance of ensuring clients know what to do after a call, being fully present, listening intently, and maintaining a non-judgmental attitude.
They also touch upon the significance of professionalism and the ability to hold clients accountable without shame.
The conversation delves into personal experiences, sharing relevant stories to highlight these traits, and emphasizes the need for genuine care in coaching.
We invite you to share your thoughts and questions about coaching traits, skills, and habits. Leave us a voicemail at https://speakpipe.com/thecoachingclinicpodcast it's free and we might even feature you on the show.
00:00 Introduction and Best Qualities of a Coach
01:19 Debating the Traits of a Good Coach
02:18 The Importance of Being Present and Listening
04:33 Challenges and Anecdotes in Coaching
10:04 Non-Judgmental Coaching and Personal Beliefs
15:38 Handling Difficult Coaching Situations
17:05 Handling Difficult Clients
17:22 Navigating Religious Beliefs in Coaching
18:15 Maintaining Professional Boundaries
20:02 Balancing Personal and Professional Life
20:51 Effective Communication Strategies
21:42 Judgment and Validation in Coaching
22:24 The Importance of Professionalism
28:09 Traits of a Good Coach
35:01 Engaging with the Coaching Community
John,
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:John: Angie,
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:Angie: what's your best
quality as a coach?
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:John: I'd say that my clients always
know exactly what to do after a
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:coaching call, so getting people to
take action, that's my best quality.
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:Angie: Your clients always know
what to do at the end of a call.
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:John: Yes, Angie, always.
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:Angie: How is that?
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:John: Because I tell them
exactly what to do on the call.
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:Angie: Wait, you do what?
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:John: Let's start the show.
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:Angie: Oh my God!
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:John: That's just what I do, alright?
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:Angie: Okay.
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:Whatever.
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:This is really interesting.
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:I love love.
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:This is probably one
of my favorite topics.
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:Because I think there's a lot of debate
here on what actually makes a good coach.
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:Are you born a coach?
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:Is it something that you learn?
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:So I have some really specific opinions,
but my question to you is, In all
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:seriousness, outside of that intro what
do you think makes somebody a good coach?
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:What are the traits that
make somebody a good coach?
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:John: There could be a few different
ways to look at this, but I'm looking
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:at it very much from the perspective
of what makes someone good as a coach,
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:not necessarily what makes them good or
successful in the business of coaching.
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:'cause I think those may be different
things because, but yeah, the actual
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:qualities of a coach for good quality
coaching may be a little different and so.
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:I think they also can give a really big
clue as to what the negative traits would
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:be in coaching for a not so good coach.
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:And so it is an interesting topic.
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:Something that I probably wish I'd really
had a bit more insight to in my earlier
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:days as a coach, because whether you're
examining through this lens yourself
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:as a coach, or you're thinking about
whoever coaches you, because hopefully
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:you have a coach in your life as well
as a coach these are important things
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:to be thinking about and probably I
would say the top thing for me is the
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:ability let me, between two things, but
I'm gonna say the ability to be fully
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:present on a call with your client.
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:Angie: I, first of all, I have to say,
high five and big hugs because I love that
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:you differentiated in the very beginning,
between traits and I forget exactly what
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:word you used but right that there are
things that we can do in our business
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:to make us successful in business as a
coach but that doesn't always translate
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:into who we are as a coach I mean you
think it would right you think it would.
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:So here comes the cynic that is right but
I know some people who are Very successful
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:as coaches in terms of their business,
in terms of their earnings and income.
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:They aren't great coaches.
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:And I sometimes scratch my head
and go, how is that even happening?
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:And I guess I say that a little
judgmentally, but it really is the
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:truth because on the other side of that.
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:I know some people that are newer
to coaching that had left, primary
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:jobs, careers and said, okay, I'm
going to take my expertise and become
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:a coach that aren't doing so great,
but they're really good at what they
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:do because I've coached with them.
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:Right.
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:How do I know?
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:Because I've coached with them.
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:So that's an interesting thing.
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:Way to separate those but in terms of
the actual, the traits, I, yes, I do have
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:to out of the gate agree with you that,
that listening piece is always, I don't
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:care what framework you're using, I don't
care what topic you're talking about,
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:you have to be able to listen.
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:You have to be able to hold space.
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:You have to.
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:That is and yeah, look, you were just
about to breathe and say something.
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:And what did I do?
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:I stopped listening.
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:So go ahead, please, John.
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:John: Okay.
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:Thank you Angie.
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:No, look, all I was gonna say there is.
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:You have to have that awareness to be
fully in the moment on the call with
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:them which means If you're distracted
when you're on a call and it's going
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:to happen sometimes that you are you
and you'll notice the difference In the
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:quality of your coaching and if you're
trying to do other things whilst you're
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:on a coaching call other than perhaps
your coaching notes Then also you're not
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:going to be fully present on the call.
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:So be there with the person listening
intently, if you're able to do face to
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:face and it's not just an audio call,
because I think most coaching probably
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:is zoom or in person these days,
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:Angie: don't,
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:John: you don't, you still do
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:Angie: I don't use Zoom.
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:Yep, I actually do.
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:I was going to say it and I cut you off,
but I'm not being a good coach right now.
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:But I prefer just the phone because it's
not just me that gets distracted, right?
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:Sometimes it's the client because they're
like, Hey, what's that behind you?
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:Or I love your filter today,
or your hair is so pretty, or.
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:Geez, Angie, I didn't know whatever it is.
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:Whatever it is.
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:I just I'm able to tune into
things, tone, energy, much
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:better without looking at them.
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:And I know that sounds, there are
people that are gonna come at me
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:and go, Angie, how is that possible?
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:John: I get it because I've done
so much voice only coaching over
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:the years that I totally get it.
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:And I do not personally feel
that I need to have the video
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:there for the connection.
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:Angie: huh.
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:Uh huh.
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:Uh
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:John: does seem to just be the industry
standard that we, that we use video now.
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:So I have no objection to
audio only coaching calls.
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:But now I'm in a, we're in an
audio, primarily audio only format,
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:although now we are moving into
some video elements of that.
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:I just don't think it's super important,
but that ability to tune in and to do
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:things like hear the tonality, to notice
what may be going on for someone, or
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:the listen to the silences that are
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:Angie: Are you
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:interested in it?
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:John: as people are thinking, but
also as they're maybe trying to audio.
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:Find a way to put things or say
something that's going to be a little
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:uncomfortable for them, have to
be really tuned into all of that.
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:So it's interesting that I said
being present, but you said
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:listening and I don't necessarily
see those as exactly the same thing.
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:But they're definitely,
definitely related.
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:For me, the being present thing is not
thinking about what you've just been
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:doing before the call, not thinking about
what you're going to be doing afterwards,
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:just being there with your full
attention, as full as you can give it.
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:To the client, the client that you're
talking with, and I do feel that that
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:isn't just a great coaching trait.
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:That is also a great personal trait
to be able to be fully pres, fully
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:present with people in your life.
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:Angie: Well, we hear about
that all the time, right?
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:Like, around the holidays, I
remember somebody sending me
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:something like, the best present
you can give is to be present.
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:Haha.
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:Right?
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:John: Yeah.
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:Good.
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:Angie: there a little bit.
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:It is.
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:But you know what?
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:There is truth in that.
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:And it's interesting
because I was coaching.
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:I was actually training.
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:And coach once and I was listening in.
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:So as I was training, I was
literally, this was all this
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:was, there was no visual.
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:I was listening in on the call.
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:Everybody was aware.
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:It wasn't like a big sneaky
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:thing.
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:And all of a sudden I hear click, click,
click, click, click, click, and I'm like,
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:what?
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:It was a very specific
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:sound
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:and it was somebody beating an egg
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:John: And
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:Angie: and it was the
coach, like beating an egg.
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:They were having the session while
they were making their breakfast.
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:And I was like appalled.
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:I was like, I lost my mind.
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:Not in the call, of course, but when it
came time to rate that, the way I had to
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:do it through our system and read that?
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:and.
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:I was like
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:no, just because you can,
doesn't mean you should.
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:And if you're, worrying about how
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:you're scrambling and then
you could hear the popping of
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:The butter or the
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:oil and you could hear
it and I was like, Oh
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:my gosh, so very unprofessional,
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:How would you feel if
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:If you found out you couldn't see
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:it, but if you found out that your surgeon
was like on his phone talking about his
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:lunch order while he was doing open heart
surgery now again, That might be a pretty
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:extreme comparison, but I'm just saying,
don't laugh, I'm telling you the truth.
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:Imagine?
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:John: Making me think of a client
that I used to have he'd book our
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:calls first thing in the morning.
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:I was the coach for me fully
present audio only coaching.
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:But he booked his calls for as
he was waking up in the morning.
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:So he's still coming to,
he's making his coffee.
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:So I'm hearing all that going on.
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:And.
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:The first pee of the day he would take
me into the bathroom with him whilst
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:he was having a pee, and keep talking,
and of course, I don't know if he
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:thought that I couldn't hear this,
but anyway, don't do that, don't do
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:it to your coach, and if you are a
coach, really, don't do that, it's
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:Angie: No.
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:I mean, it's just awful.
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:It's completely, listen,
people want to feel good.
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:When they're
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:on a call with you, however, you're
doing it, I actually reserve my, like
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:when I do group coaching and I do quite
a bit of it that I do on video, right?
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:It's a lot easier to herd the
cats a little, you know, by
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:do it, keeping the visual.
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:But the one on ones I still
do in my private practice.
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:I still do on the phone, but I
think that we have to remember
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:what a client needs from us.
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:And I think the second piece for
me, besides the being present.
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:Is not being judgmental, which I have
found in recent years, the climate of
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:the world is changing and I'm not here to
talk about it, all of it, but regardless
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:of whether it's like religion, it's like
the things you don't talk about with
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:your friends at the table or your family,
because you know, it could be like,
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:A powder
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:keg probably should not be happening
right within your sessions either you
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:have to read like doesn't matter I mean
unless they're talking about something
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:that is so ethically hey, Angie, I want
to start killing people for a living.
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:Like I'm again, going extreme.
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:Okay.
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:So that might warrant a little
bit of a different approach,
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:but
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:John: Sorry, yeah.
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:Hahahaha.
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:Hey,
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:Angie: wrong with you is stupid.
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:Don't listen to this man.
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:Do not look at the man behind the
curtain but, but truthfully I think
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:the one thing that coaching has
brought to the surface for me is
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:the real idea
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:of.
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:It takes all
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:kinds.
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:I have literally had people
come into sessions and
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:tell me very intimate things
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:about their personal selves,
their hygiene habits,
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:How they identify, all right, and that's
hot topic, things that are coming up
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:in more recent years, political stance.
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:And I have had to make sure that
I don't come with a reaction to,
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:even if it's oh, this is what I
believe in terms of my marriage.
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:It could be something that's not
so hardcore and it could be a
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:little bit more in the everyday.
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:Somebody says, oh, I believe that,
a woman's place is in the home.
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:I, anybody who knows me,
I don't subscribe to that.
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:However, I have to remain out of
judgment so that I can still coach
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:them around what their belief is.
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:It's not my job to go, well, gee,
John, what do you mean women, their
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:place is in the home doing what?
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:Looking out of their home
office, I go that's bullshit.
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:I can't, that is not a good coach.
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:I'm not there to make them be
what Angie thinks they should be.
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:John: I think that's
super, yeah, absolutely.
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:Super important.
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:I can very much relate to that.
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:I feel that that's very much where I am.
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:I.
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:I always did my very best not, I
mean, there's judgment and there's
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:judgment, you know, we have to evaluate.
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:And so then that kind of place,
we, there is some judgment, but in
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:terms of moral judgment or ethical
judgment, try to stay away from that.
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:Like my feelings about someone else's
beliefs, unless what they're saying,
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:as you say, is so antithetical
to anything that I believe that,
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:Oh my goodness, I am horrified.
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:I cannot work with you.
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:And maybe that's happened once
in all my years of coaching and
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:that I have to say to someone.
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:I'm sorry I absolutely
can't work with you.
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:But that I mean once and that's
product that was the conversation.
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:I said, I'm sorry I'm not
gonna be able to work with you.
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:I don't think we're gonna connect.
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:No not feeling a connection I couldn't get
past this person being really anti gay.
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:I just couldn't get past it and and
I never would have never would have
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:got past that but I have been on call
with people who probably didn't have
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:super positive feelings towards gay
people or, or my political stances.
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:And people are pretty much polar,
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:sorry about it.
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:But people are like pretty, pretty much
political polarized ends of the spectrum.
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:And I've still been able to
work with them and coach them
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:because they're still people.
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:Angie: I was going to just ask
you though, because I did have
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:this, I had this experience.
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:And this, I don't remember if it was
when I, within my private practice or,
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:When I worked for a coaching
company, but there was, I did,
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:I can see him clear as day.
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:Remember him.
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:I never saw him clear as day in my mind.
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:And he was,
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:The very, I don't even know
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:why the, why I was
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:aligned with this person because I think
it was within a different space working
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:for a company because it was like he
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:was assigned to me.
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:And I was like, are they kidding?
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:Did they, do they not know who I am?
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:Because this person was
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:very opposed to women being professionals
and it kept coming up and it kept, and it
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:was like almost well, kind of, you know,
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:he'd always refer to, he'd say something
negative and then go, well, like you.
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:I'm thinking one more like me and you
and I are going to go at it, buddy.
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:So I had to remove him from my
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:roster.
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:I had to,
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:because
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:I was being put in a consistent
basis on a consistent basis.
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:I was being put in a position
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:of having to control the idea of defending
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:myself.
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:It wasn't like, and I tried the, well, let
me ask you so why is it that, what is it
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:about women being professionals that is so
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:X, Y,
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:Z for you and why do
they belong in the home?
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:Like, honestly.
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:And I had to have him removed
from my roster because he, I had
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:nowhere to put that energy because
it wasn't like a one and done.
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:It was pretty constant.
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:And I thought, this isn't good.
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:But I cannot coach him to my
fullest potential because.
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:This is now becoming personal.
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:It's not just a belief.
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:It's like he's applying the
belief to me within our session.
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:So I think we also have to know sometimes
when it's time to call it quits.
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:John: lemme ask you then, do you feel that
it's an important quality to be able to.
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:As a coach, detach your own
personal feelings about things and
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:situations and people to be able to
effectively run your coaching calls.
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:Angie: Absolutely.
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:Absolutely.
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:I on, let me, I'll share this quick
story on the other side of that,
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:I
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:did have a client one time that Identify,
this was long before what was happening,
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:now was happening, identified as
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:a as a female body part.
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:And it was like first session
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:right out of the gate and I
was like I remember the feeling
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:of huh, what did she,
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:what, what happened?
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:But what I did was I said, so let me ask
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:you this question and that's
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:fine.
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:How will that affect our coaching?
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:What is
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:it you're looking for?
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:And ultimately it was nothing.
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:It was just like I
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:need you to know this.
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:It, and it was fine.
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:It didn't affect our coaching.
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:I didn't
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:come into the session, like
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:with visuals of
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:Oh, you're this and that.
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:I
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:didn't do
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:that.
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:Because the sessions
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:were still very open and vulnerable and
good and it wasn't being imposed upon me.
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:So I do think that I've
done a fabulous job.
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:If I do say so myself, right,
of, of being able to detach
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:myself from my own beliefs, et
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:cetera, so that I could
still deliver for this
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:person.
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:Because.
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:John: Yeah.
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:Angie: But, that one particular client,
yeah, that I had to kick to the curb, it
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:was because it, was, it kept
being thrown at me almost like a
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:little passive aggressive attack.
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:And I was okay for session
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:one and two, and Three and four.
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:It was like you're out.
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:I'm done.
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:John: we all have a limit to what
we can handle, but when I think back
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:over the years, certainly religious
clients is much more common in the U.
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:S.
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:than in the U.
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:K.
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:And religion isn't such
a big thing in the U.
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:K., so I'm very used to working
with people mostly from sort of
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:Christian denominations in the U.
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:S.
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:And even some that I would probably
consider a little bit on the culty side.
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:Now, I am an, I'm an atheist,
so I don't believe in any of it.
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:So my opinion on that isn't relevant.
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:And I'm not there to disabuse
them of their beliefs.
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:That's not my purpose there.
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:I'm there to see if I can
help them achieve their goals.
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:Now, unless they go, unless, if
their goals were against me or
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:against super against my beliefs.
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:I don't think I could if someone said,
came on a call with me and saying,
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:I'm trying to bring in legislation to
ban abortion or something like that.
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:I'd be like, yeah, I'm
not the coach for you.
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:I would know that.
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:I just wouldn't, I wouldn't wanna be a
part of that and I would be upfront by
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:that, but generally it's really not.
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:And the fact that we have been able to
connect and get along there is also
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:a part of me that thinks if they did
know what I was all about and more
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:about my life, they actually possibly
wouldn't want me as their coach.
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:Angie: That's absolutely correct.
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:And I think too, that, I think that's
why we keep some limitations as
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:coaches in terms of who we really are.
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:Because we don't want to be judged.
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:We don't want somebody to assume
that because I'm an atheist or I'm
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:Catholic or I'm whatever I am, right?
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:I guess the male female
is becoming debatable.
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:I won't get into that today.
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:But in terms of other things that
are not so obvious, I do think
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:that it could impede somebody
from making the right decision for
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:them because they think and she's
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:Catholic, right?
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:Well, I don't need to talk
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:to a Catholic
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:on the same side of that if
people know that about me, right?
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:It's not in my bio.
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:Angie is a Roman Catholic doesn't
know, or John, Angie is an atheist.
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:No, if that's the not, that
is not what I should be like.
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:Somebody should just, that should
not be a decision piece for people.
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:So I am a little, Discerning about
what I put out there publicly
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:which is important, right?
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:But to your point, like I think, there
might've been many clients that knew
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:if they knew anything deep dark about
Angie as the human, they might be like,
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:what?
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:Joking.
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:But for them, it
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:might be she's divorced.
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:How could she be a relationship coach?
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:Because I screwed it up.
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:That's how I fucked it up.
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:Who better?
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:I'm just
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:John: And you understand enough
and you're able to ask the right
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:questions and help people get what
they want in their relationships.
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:We get that.
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:We've had, we had a chat before
about bringing it, bringing your
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:point of view Personal stuff into,
although it was very brief, bringing a
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:personal stuff or life experience into
coaching sessions, we do it rarely.
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:And we probably do it very limitedly and
only really if it feels totally relevant
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:and beneficial to the client to do that,
we are not, we're not really there to have
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:that conversation with them, whereas they
should be hearing about us in our lives.
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:And I have come across coaches who
do that, who dominate the calls.
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:And don't even really give their clients
a proper chance to speak and express
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:themselves or say what they need to say.
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:Angie: Agree with you.
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:I definitely agree.
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:I think that's just hard
in general nowadays.
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:I think that just because we're talking
about it, like judgment can be a
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:problem, can be something that pops up.
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:But I also feel like.
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:It's not for us to utilize our
personal lives as validation for
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:them because I do think that a lot
of, a lot of my clients have come in
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:and said, Angie, what do you think?
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:And I always say wait a minute.
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:It's not really about what I think.
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:What are your thoughts?
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:Why are you asking me that?
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:I will go right at that because
I think I might've shared this
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:with you in a conversation or
in one of our previous podcasts,
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:but.
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:I remember saying to a student that I was
training and I said to her, you know what,
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:we were doing coaching and I was training
her and she, and I said, that was great.
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:Like I really love that.
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:And she, you know what her response
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:was?
443
:Well, I didn't ask you what you
444
:thought of me.
445
:You're judging me right now.
446
:And I was like, what?
447
:Because I associated in my mind,
448
:judgment as negative.
449
:And that was a very defining moment
for me as a coach and thinking,
450
:I have to be careful about
saying I'm really proud of you.
451
:Sometimes I do.
452
:If somebody is like they haven't cleaned
their bathroom in six months, and this
453
:is true, and they were getting like
staff infections because they had this
454
:like mental block and they finally do
it and I'm like, that is so amazing.
455
:I'm proud of you.
456
:It's sometimes I need to be a cheerleader.
457
:But I also have to be aware of
saying to somebody, that is awesome.
458
:It is the, it's re it can be
received as the same type of, it
459
:can be received as jump judgment,
460
:John: absolutely.
461
:And,
462
:Angie: just it's positive.
463
:John: uh, I do feel that as professionals,
there should be an expectation to
464
:separate and compartmentalize our lives.
465
:Now, okay, before I was a
coach, I was a flight attendant.
466
:Did I sit on planes and talk to the
passengers about my personal lives?
467
:Well, only Chaka Khan, I think, I did
that with her, but, but pretty much
468
:everyone, I know me, we got on very well.
469
:We're like, we're like that.
470
:Yeah, I know.
471
:She's lovely as well.
472
:But other than, you know, dropping
Chaka Khan who is it like?
473
:Yeah no I, that wasn't really, it
was a lovely conversation, but I
474
:wasn't telling her all about my
private life or all about my beliefs
475
:or what I do and don't believe in.
476
:It's just not appropriate.
477
:I'm there as a professional and they're
representing an airline as a coach.
478
:You're there representing
your own business.
479
:Yeah, you, okay.
480
:Maybe that's yourself.
481
:Maybe it's just you, or maybe
it's a bunch of you, or maybe
482
:it's a whole big business.
483
:You are there representing
the business, who you are as
484
:a person is not so relevant.
485
:It's not irrelevant, your
weekend antics, your.
486
:Sexual fetishes, whatever, do not
need to be shared on, do not need
487
:to be shared on coaching calls.
488
:Hey look, if you'd ever heard cabin crew
having a conversation in the galley, you
489
:would know that everything gets discussed.
490
:And passengers do get to hear that
stuff, but it's not appropriate.
491
:And I think that's the same in pretty
much any professional situation.
492
:We have to show up as a professional.
493
:And I see this as being part of showing
up as a professional in coaching.
494
:Angie: I would listen and I
don't disagree with you at all.
495
:I think that is all very
496
:true.
497
:We have to create a little bit of a
hierarchy right in within our sessions.
498
:We have to it's not a better
than or I am the all knowing Oz.
499
:That's not what it should be.
500
:But they, people who come into coaching
are relying on us to know a little
501
:bit about what the fuck we're doing.
502
:Just saying.
503
:I have to say that folks.
504
:I'm sorry for the potty mouth.
505
:Right.
506
:John might edit that out.
507
:But anyhow.
508
:But I do feel also I have, I will
be honest, there have been specific
509
:times where it was relevant.
510
:I had to gauge it as the coach and say,
okay, in my head really quick, if I
511
:share this, is it, why am I sharing it?
512
:What's the relevance to the
client that I want them to?
513
:And listen, and honestly,
sometimes it is about, I've, I
514
:actually had somebody who was.
515
:Profoundly upset, depressed, angry,
anxious about going through a divorce.
516
:And this is just one of many examples
by the way, and she was beating
517
:herself up like I'm horrible.
518
:Who's going to listen to me as a coach?
519
:Cause she wanted transition out
of her day job into coaching and
520
:blah, blah, blah, all the things.
521
:And I was like wait, pause.
522
:Is it okay?
523
:So I did do first, I asked permission.
524
:I said, would it be okay with you if
I shared something personal with you?
525
:That is not to make this
the Angie show, but.
526
:That I think is relevant
to this conversation.
527
:And she was like, yes, okay, that's great.
528
:I said, okay, well, I am divorced.
529
:You are and the reason I shared that with
her is because I knew she had she held
530
:me to a very high level and in terms of
respect and more to not be like hey now
531
:you're in the club But more to illustrate
to her that she could still be a high
532
:level professional even though fill
in the blank Whatever she was feeling.
533
:John: consider that a high level sharing.
534
:I've said With certain business
coaching clients over the years that
535
:I've had some disasters in business
and I've even shared some information
536
:about what those have been and how
it felt and how I got through it.
537
:But I haven't given, I haven't
given them the full detailed story.
538
:I haven't given them how I nearly
fell apart and turned into an
539
:emotional wreck, it's like, that's
not really as relevant to the story.
540
:We don't, we don't need, they
don't need all the juice, but
541
:they just need to understand
sometimes they're not the only one.
542
:In it, or that you maybe have some
experience of what they're going through
543
:that maybe helps them to feel like
alright, maybe it's not, it's not just
544
:me, I'm not alone, that's all cool.
545
:So we have these things of, okay what
have we said so far, we've said being
546
:present, we've said listening, we've said
547
:Angie: judgment,
548
:John: lack of, no judgement, we've
said a little bit, a bit of detachment.
549
:Some professionalism as well.
550
:I guess that's what we've come to.
551
:We haven't really used the
word so much, but yeah.
552
:Professionalism.
553
:else do you think
554
:Angie: I have a quick well, yeah I think
this is I don't want to make this a quick
555
:point because I changed a lot of the
way I communicate from saying you, well,
556
:you know, John, you have this tendency.
557
:Sometimes I will say, you know what?
558
:We're all human.
559
:And sometimes we have a tendency.
560
:That is something that to me is a
great trait is that I'm relieving
561
:without the client even realizing I'm
doing it, I'm relieving some of the
562
:burden of the judgment for them, of
themselves, even, so I, even I feel
563
:like sometimes how we communicate.
564
:is really important.
565
:Somebody else might not, but, right?
566
:When I say you, you, you, you, you, you,
it just comes at them at like this, from
567
:this negative space, but I say, wait a
minute, you know what we're all of you
568
:and we and I'm definitive when I need to
say John, what are you doing about that?
569
:I'm not going so what are we doing?
570
:That's not it, but I'm saying
like, do you know what I mean?
571
:When I present sometimes, If it,
there's an overarching theme and there's
572
:judgment of self, which I have to
pull clients out of pretty often, it's
573
:well, wait a minute, we're all human.
574
:We all are imperfect.
575
:So
576
:John: Here's a question for you.
577
:So I know you've had coaches yourself.
578
:I know you've worked with
and trained other coaches.
579
:I've had those experiences too.
580
:What have been the things that have
pretty quickly let you know whether you
581
:have confidence that this person is going
to be a good coach or is a good coach?
582
:Angie: When I'm training them or even
oh, so you mean the people that I've
583
:helped transition out like clients.
584
:John: Either, when you're
training people as a coach or when
585
:you've hired coaches yourself.
586
:What have been the things that have
let you know, I'm in good hands here
587
:or this person is good at what they do?
588
:He's
589
:Angie: because I don't know
if I ever really looked at it,
590
:but the answer just came to me.
591
:It's what their focus is.
592
:If their focus is on them, them, them,
and I and it's hard for me to define all
593
:the ways that it can be about them, right?
594
:Like I'm not sure I'm doing this right.
595
:I'm not sure of this.
596
:I don't know what, and
it's more client focused.
597
:They may not have, they may not have
their bearings yet, but I know they
598
:can be a great, they can be taught
the tactical side of coaching,
599
:which maybe we'll talk about, right?
600
:But the, I think that, you
mentioned something like, are
601
:people born to be coaches?
602
:I will tell you with 10, 000 percent
certainty that I believe that I
603
:was born to be of human service.
604
:Yes, I believe that.
605
:It may sound a little woo woo, but then
I've been able to be taught framework to
606
:take my talent, like having an Olympian,
they're born with certain help me word,
607
:help me talents, certain talents, right?
608
:That are just natural and inherent.
609
:And then somebody takes
those and fine tunes them.
610
:So I think that when I look at
somebody and say, Hey, are the,
611
:cause the people I trained, they
weren't guaranteed a position.
612
:So what I thought really mattered,
that was a lot of pressure.
613
:And that's what I guess I really
looked for was what was their focus?
614
:Was it on the client and doing
the digging and being present?
615
:Or was it on little B
what am I doing wrong?
616
:Mm hmm.
617
:John: I get that I maybe have
a slightly different answer.
618
:I'm very much when I hire a coach
particularly, but I do look for a
619
:certain level of competence that I
do want to really get that sense of
620
:they know what they're doing and they
have some level of confidence and
621
:competence to be able to deliver that.
622
:And if I feel they don't have that,
that makes me a little uncertain
623
:as well about working with them.
624
:So I think those are important
traits for a coach as well.
625
:So for me as well, like if I'm looking at
hiring coach, I want to get, I am going
626
:to ask them about their experience, not so
much trait, but the fact, if they're able
627
:to communicate their experience clearly
and demonstrate their knowledge and talk
628
:about things that are incredibly relevant.
629
:And one of the things that has really
impressed me over the years, one, one
630
:guy that wasn't, didn't actually hire
him as a coach, but damn, he was good.
631
:I was telling him something I
was having a challenge with.
632
:He created this whole story as a
metaphor that wasn't about me, but it
633
:was so well put together in the spot.
634
:And I thought, oh my God,
that is a real coaching gift.
635
:That's some, that's something
I'm not so great at.
636
:I would love to be good at.
637
:But that was a real coaching gift that
like, man, man, I probably should,
638
:should have hired him as a coach.
639
:But super, super
640
:Angie: Well, yeah, I think certainly being
able to illustrate like coaching isn't
641
:always like the give the take, we ask
you a question, you answer the question.
642
:I think that there's like the part
of the gift is being able to see
643
:the overarching theme, which we've
talked about how to be bird's eye and
644
:still be present at the same time.
645
:But being able to illustrate.
646
:That to a client illustrates something
to them without you having to be it's
647
:not always direct because sometimes
you know, i'm a very visual person.
648
:I'm a very visual coach.
649
:I can't tell you how many times i've
you know Metaphorically coached somebody
650
:right and i'm not saying that's exactly
what you're talking about But yeah,
651
:so that they can take that and apply
it and knowing which clients are
652
:going to be receptive to that yeah, I
653
:John: one more trait I in my mind that is
coming up for me has probably been the one
654
:I, the last one I would want to cover and.
655
:That would really be about being able
to hold your clients accountable.
656
:And actually being able to do that and
having, a level of confidence and to
657
:some degree, maybe even assertiveness
without it becoming brash or rude
658
:or mean or anything like that.
659
:But actually just being able to
directly hold your clients accountable.
660
:Actually no, there are two more.
661
:That, and one that maybe
should have come up earlier.
662
:And that sense that you really care.
663
:Angie: agree.
664
:I think that care is huge because
I think that I believe that people.
665
:can smell BS a mile away, right?
666
:So if you're just tactical,
tactical, tactical, I think people
667
:are going to have a harder time
building rapport and trusting you.
668
:So I think that's important, but you
and I know each other professionally,
669
:right and would you say that my
reputation is one that it's like I
670
:have a bit of a reputation for being
a little bit the word isn't harsh.
671
:John: Talk To
672
:Angie: I am very direct.
673
:And I have zero problem holding
people accountable, but I never
674
:ever, I've never done it and I
hope I never do it by accident.
675
:But I have never
essentially shamed somebody.
676
:Holding somebody accountable
does not mean I'm your mama.
677
:And if somebody says to me,
Angie, I need you to hold me
678
:accountable, I will ask in what way?
679
:And if I even hear a hint of
something that reminds me of a mom
680
:trait, I will flat out say, I will
definitely, John, I will hold you
681
:accountable, but I'm not your mama.
682
:Right?
683
:You're not in trouble if
you don't do the work.
684
:That's not going to happen.
685
:Right, but yeah, I am extremely direct.
686
:John: You know, I was thinking this
kind of, for me, this naturally leads
687
:us towards conversations about coaching
skills, but I think those are things we
688
:could probably spend specific episodes on.
689
:Rather than just have an episode where
we just say what those we've actually go
690
:through some specific coaching skills.
691
:I think that would be good.
692
:And we'll take a look at that.
693
:We'll decide which one we're
going to start with, but this
694
:has been a fun conversation.
695
:You're
696
:right.
697
:it's been very interesting.
698
:And I think maybe we'll come
back and do it again next time.
699
:Angie: Oh, absolutely.
700
:Give me more, baby.
701
:Give me more.
702
:John: Well, we definitely
will be back very soon.
703
:So look out for us next Wednesday.
704
:That's when the episodes drop.
705
:But in the meantime,
do you have questions?
706
:Do you have, do you disagree with
us on any of the traits of a coach?
707
:Do you agree with us
and want to let us know?
708
:Or do you have something
to add to the conversation?
709
:Or maybe you have questions around
coaching, coaching business,
710
:coaching habits, coaching traits.
711
:You'd like to ask us, you
can leave us a voicemail.
712
:It's free to do.
713
:All you need to do is visit
speakpipe.com/the coaching clinic podcast,
714
:speakpipe.com/the coaching Clinic podcast.
715
:You can find the link in the show
notes and say it's free to do.
716
:Please leave us a message and
if it's good, we might just
717
:feature you on this show.
718
:Angie: Yeah, I would love to start
hearing a little bit more from everybody.
719
:Hey, what are your thoughts?
720
:New coach, coaches in training, veteran
coaches would love to hear your input.
721
:John: Absolutely, we're
looking forward to it.
722
:So we'll be back again very soon.
723
:In the meantime, have an amazing week.
724
:Angie: Bye.