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Lunch with Pam and Derek
Episode 6625th June 2025 • The Dynamics Of Everyday Life • Julia Rogers
00:00:00 00:08:57

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Welcome back to another episode of The Dynamics of Everyday Life. In this episode, I dive into the question: Why do we keep going out for lunch (or coffee, or dinners) with people we don’t actually want to spend time with?

I share a personal story inspired by my parents’ obligatory lunches with “Pam and Derek”—people who aren’t truly friends but whom social obligation keeps pulling back into their orbit. Does this sound familiar?

01:53 Why Do We Spend Time With People We Don’t Want To?

03:27 The Psychodynamic Angle – Why Is It So Hard to Say No?

05:27 Why Do We Repeat These Patterns? (Repetition Compulsion)

07:33 When Obligation is Not Really Necessary

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The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

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