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Managing Anxiety & ADHD in the Creative Process
Episode 19 β€’ 31st October 2024 β€’ Smart ADHD Podcast β€’ Ian Anderson Gray
00:00:00 00:25:28

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Have you ever wondered how creativity and ADHD can coexist harmoniously in your life? 

What if the key to managing anxiety lies in embracing play and joy? 

πŸ”— Read / Listen more: https://smartadhd.me/19

In this episode of The Smart ADHD Podcast, we dive into these questions with the wonderful Cathy Rashidian, a certified executive coach who specialises in ADHD in the workplace. Together, we explore how to manage ADHD and anxiety while unlocking your creative potential, all while having a bit of fun along the way!


Cathy brings over 20 years of leadership experience and a personal understanding of ADHD to the table. She's here to share her journey and offer practical strategies that not only address the challenges we face but also celebrate the unique strengths that come with ADHD. From setting boundaries to incorporating joy and play in our lives, we’re uncovering valuable insights you won't want to miss.


πŸŽ™οΈ In this episode: 

00:00 Finding Joy and Embracing Play 

00:38 Introduction to the Smart ADHD Podcast 

00:46 Meet Cathy Rashidian: Executive Coach and ADHD Specialist 

02:57 Exploring ADHD, Anxiety, and Creativity 

04:33 Understanding Comorbidities and ADHD 

06:58 The Neuroscience Behind ADHD and Anxiety 

10:18 Practical Strategies to Manage Anxiety and Boost Creativity 

12:29 Breaking Free from Perfectionism and Overthinking 

14:13 Rewriting Your Personal Narrative 

14:55 Managing Negative Thoughts 

15:48 Understanding Dopamine and Conflict 

16:52 The Importance of Play and Joy 

17:46 Building Your Support Network 

21:04 Leveraging AI for Mental Health 

22:59 Harnessing Creativity While Managing Anxiety 

24:35 Conclusion and Resources 


πŸ•ΊMore about Cathy Rashidian. 

Cathy, a certified Executive Coach with 20+ years of leadership experience and a personal ADHD journey, specialises in ADHD in the workplace. She combines traditional and ADHD-specific strategies to help clients and organisations unlock potential and foster growth.


Connect with Cathy: 

Website: https://www.readysetchoose.com 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cathyrashidian/ 


What's your biggest challenge in navigating ADHD as a smart creative? Share your thoughts in the comments section below, and don't forget to subscribe and leave a review!


β€”----------------------------


🎀 About the Smart ADHD Podcast 

The Smart ADHD Podcast is for smart creatives, entrepreneurs, and business owners who are navigating life with ADHD. We celebrate unique brilliance, whether we're intelligent, exceptionally talented, or both. Ian Anderson Gray interviews experts to uncover the real story of ADHD for smart creatives, busting myths and discovering effective strategies to improve our lives, unleash our creativity, and grow.


πŸ”— Find out more at https://smartadhd.me/

β€”----------------------------


πŸ•ΊMore about Ian Anderson Gray 

Ian is the host of the Smart ADHD Podcast and a live-streaming video coach and consultant. He helps business owners and entrepreneurs broadcast live confidently, communicate better, and set up the right gear and tools. Ian runs Seriously Social, a business aimed at helping others be more productive and level up their impact online. He's also a professional singer, web developer, and an international speaker. Ian lives near Manchester in the UK with his family.


β€”----------------------------


πŸ€— Connect with Ian 

Website: https://iag.me/ 

X/Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/iagdotme 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/ianandersongray 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ianandersongray/ 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iagdotme 

Threads: https://threads.net/@ianandersongray  


Transcripts

Cathy:

when was the last time you had seven minutes of joy in your day?

Cathy:

I'm a big fan of play and it's to just chill the hell

Cathy:

out and not be so wound tight

Cathy:

Talk it out as opposed to keeping it in your head, one thing is to truly

Cathy:

find your I call them your board of brains folks that have the particular

Cathy:

skills that I don't have that's what I'm bringing on in my board those

Cathy:

people I don't have those skills

Cathy:

AI has helped me so much with contemplation bouncing ideas back

Cathy:

and forth I'm thinking of doing this content tell me if I should

Cathy:

do it what else can I do with it?

Cathy:

Pull it apart it's been my behind the scene advisor like I can't

Cathy:

not live without , if it goes away I don't know what I'll do

Cathy:

. Ian: Hello and welcome back to the smart ADHD podcast.

Cathy:

Today we're diving into managing anxiety and ADHD within the creative process.

Cathy:

And I'm thrilled to be joined by Cathy Rashidian, a certified

Cathy:

executive coach with over 20 years of leadership experience

Cathy:

and a personal journey with ADHD.

Cathy:

Cathy specializes in ADHD in the workplace, combining traditional

Cathy:

and ADHD specific strategies to help clients and organizations

Cathy:

unlock potential and foster growth.

Cathy:

This was such a fun episode and she shared her own journey, practical

Cathy:

strategies and insights on building a board of brains, setting boundaries,

Cathy:

and we chatted about using tools like ChatGPT to support creativity.

Cathy:

We'll also tackle perfectionism and understand how anxiety impacts creativity

Cathy:

and explore ways to break free from stress cycles that hold us back.

Cathy:

Let's jump in, right now!

Cathy:

Hello, I'm Ian Anderson Gray, and this is the smart ADHD podcast.

Cathy:

Now if you're a smart, creative entrepreneur or business owner

Cathy:

navigating your life with ADHD, This is the podcast for you.

Cathy:

Now, I'm no ADHD expert, but I'm eager to share my story on what I've learned

Cathy:

by talking with experts, as well as digging into the personal ADHD stories of

Cathy:

successful creatives and entrepreneurs.

Cathy:

I was diagnosed at age 46, and it answered so many questions in my life.

Cathy:

But of course, that was in many ways, only the start of my journey.

Cathy:

So let's learn together.

Cathy:

Smart stories, smart strategies, smart ADHD.

Cathy:

Hi, Kathy.

Cathy:

Welcome to Smart ADHD.

Cathy:

How are you doing?

Cathy:

I'm good.

Cathy:

How are you?

Ian:

I'm good.

Ian:

After I got the tech working, I had a moment there, but I think we're all good.

Ian:

So you're dialing in from the beautiful country of Canada, which

Ian:

we visited over the summer holidays.

Ian:

It was a fabulous place.

Ian:

Loved it.

Ian:

We've been trying to organize this for like over a month,

Ian:

so it's great to speak to you.

Ian:

And we're going to be talking about a topic that is close to my heart.

Ian:

Maybe we'll say that anxiety and ADHD, but particularly focusing on

Ian:

strategies for managing stress in the creative process, which is interesting.

Ian:

So I want to just ask you quickly, like what got you interested in

Ian:

ADHD, anxiety and creativity, that the mix of those things.

Cathy:

those are just some of the things that I'm interested,

Ian:

just a few!

Cathy:

Overall, if we go back to just talk at ADHD in general is my

Cathy:

own diagnosis in my early forties.

Cathy:

And I'm one of those that was like, Oh wow, I have ADHD.

Cathy:

This is cool.

Cathy:

What do I do now?

Cathy:

And who do I tell?

Cathy:

this is so awesome.

Cathy:

And my whole life makes sense.

Cathy:

And I know not everybody has the same reaction.

Cathy:

There's some that are really emotional about it and go

Cathy:

through a grieving process.

Cathy:

But for me, it was finally it all makes sense.

Cathy:

And then I went down the rabbit hole.

Cathy:

And, I've always had this fascination with human behavior.

Cathy:

My background is 20 years in corporate marketing and tech transformation

Cathy:

and just this how do people decide?

Cathy:

How do I how do why do people think the way they do?

Cathy:

So it took me down the rabbit hole out of even Wow Let's think about our brain

Cathy:

and why our brain does what it does.

Cathy:

So the rest is here I am six years

Cathy:

into it and all about ADHD

Ian:

Wow.

Ian:

It's that, it is that rabbit hole.

Ian:

And it took me a little bit of time to get really down that rabbit hole, but

Ian:

that's where I am with this podcast.

Ian:

And I am eager to learn.

Ian:

And I'm

Ian:

really excited to talk to you about all of this stuff today.

Ian:

So one thing I've realized is that A lot of people with ADHD don't just have ADHD.

Ian:

There's another, I'm going to use a posh word now, comorbidity,

Ian:

I believe is the word.

Ian:

There's some other thing that is, is there.

Ian:

For me, it's definitely anxiety.

Ian:

And I know a lot of people have ADHD and anxiety.

Ian:

So why are they often both there for particularly for smart

Ian:

creatives and entrepreneurs?

Cathy:

I could give you scientific, but let me, let's just break it

Cathy:

down and give you a straight talk.

Cathy:

I think with the comorbidities or I call them the cousins or the co occurring

Cathy:

conditions is as the therapists would like to say it's when it's unmanaged,

Cathy:

I feel like these cousins play louder.

Cathy:

So when your ADHD is not managed, the anxiety comes out loud.

Cathy:

As I'm saying this, it makes me think of Inside Out 2 and all the

Cathy:

other characters in there and all the other emotions that came in loud.

Cathy:

So when it's not managed, when your ADHD is not tamed or seen for what it is,

Cathy:

Anxiety comes in, depression comes in.

Cathy:

Mine was depression also was my second cousin to my ADHD.

Cathy:

So it's the untreated, unmanaged, unaddressed ADHD that these other co

Cathy:

conditions come in and they're louder, but also at the same time, I like to respect

Cathy:

also, sometimes it's the other way around, somebody is chronic with one of the

Cathy:

conditions, and that's just the way it is.

Cathy:

But also that's where you bring in the experts and the professionals to say

Cathy:

which one is the predominant one, and which one is due to unmanaged ADHD.

Cathy:

So at a high level, that's what I'd like to leave you with.

Ian:

That's something I should have said before, which is, of

Ian:

course, I'm no expert on this.

Ian:

And if you're listening to this, and anything that we talk

Ian:

about, you're thinking about do.

Ian:

Don't just struggle alone, go and seek an expert and get the seen to.

Ian:

Because anxiety, it's always been an issue for me, anxiety and depression,

Ian:

I think, for years and years.

Ian:

And I thought when I got diagnosed with ADHD, I thought, ah, okay, But

Ian:

how does anxiety play into that?

Ian:

Maybe I need to sort out the anxiety first and then the ADHD.

Ian:

I've come to realize actually, I think the anxiety, at least

Ian:

for me, comes from the ADHD.

Ian:

And if I focus on the ADHD bit first, that is going to perhaps

Ian:

help the anxiety and the depression.

Ian:

But of course, as you said, we're all different, aren't we?

Ian:

And so it's working that out.

Cathy:

If I could add to this a little bit about Dr.

Cathy:

Hallowell talks about this nicely about the default mode network of our brain.

Cathy:

Everybody has a default mode network.

Cathy:

It's the creativity side of our brain and we can talk about it

Cathy:

when we talk about creativity also.

Cathy:

When that's activated, you go from this sense of, wow, look at this new idea.

Cathy:

I have this new thing I want to do, the innovation, the creation

Cathy:

and all of that to, Oh my God, what if it doesn't work out?

Cathy:

This is going to be crap and nobody's going to like it.

Cathy:

And why am I even doing this?

Cathy:

And if I don't get it right dah, dah, dah, dah, you know, the rest.

Cathy:

And so we'll end up in the land of doom and gloom and

Cathy:

catastrophization and rumination.

Cathy:

And for us with ADHD, we don't have that switch that brings us back to wait,

Cathy:

task at hand, just do the first part of the project, the rest will follow.

Cathy:

So that also creates that, that anxiety also with Oh my God, look at all these

Cathy:

things I got to get done within this.

Cathy:

And then you go into freeze mode and nothing happens.

Cathy:

So the overwhelm, so it's to be also aware of that when we're

Cathy:

able to catch ourselves in that.

Cathy:

Wait, this is my ADHD or this is my anxiety running the show.

Cathy:

I'm in charge.

Cathy:

Where do I begin?

Ian:

Yeah, and this is why I've started to delve a little bit deeper

Ian:

into the neuroscience of this.

Ian:

Although these are big, scary words, like you've used, default

Ian:

mode network, and then there's the task positive network, I believe.

Ian:

And, but I think, yeah, I've, as soon as I've started to realize

Ian:

that, I thought, Oh yeah, that's exactly what's happening in my brain.

Ian:

And if the kind of analogy that I like to think about, I don't know

Ian:

whether this is a good analogy, but it works in my brain is it's like

Ian:

a signal worker on a railway line.

Ian:

And.

Ian:

They're trying to move from one track to the other, but it's stuck.

Ian:

And so I can't really move from my, the default mode network

Ian:

into the task positive networks.

Ian:

My mind is cycling around all these things.

Ian:

And I wanted to ask you this is the smart ADHD podcast.

Ian:

Does, is this a particular issue do you think for those smart individuals,

Ian:

those who are higher in intelligence, do they tend to cycle more in The

Ian:

thoughts and the default mode network.

Ian:

What are the particular issues for smart individuals with ADHD?

Cathy:

You're bringing out the controversial side of me now.

Ian:

Okay go ahead.

Ian:

Yeah,

Cathy:

community as I don't equate the IQ with ADHD.

Cathy:

It's my personal thing.

Cathy:

And I'm being completely transparent with you.

Cathy:

We're all smart in our own ways.

Cathy:

We're all creatives in our own ways.

Cathy:

And I don't think this is just because, you have a higher

Cathy:

IQ, this is going to happen.

Cathy:

I think a lot of different things contribute to it.

Cathy:

It's the beliefs that we grew up with, the way, our parents

Cathy:

raised us, blessed their heart.

Cathy:

They did their best and did whatever they needed to do to raise us.

Cathy:

It's the narratives that are out there in society of this is if

Cathy:

you're this, you need to be this.

Cathy:

I know within our community, we do have twice exceptional folks

Cathy:

where, you know, high IQ so I it's not about the smartness part of it

Cathy:

per se, it's everything around us.

Cathy:

It's how society, your work life the beliefs that you have about

Cathy:

yourself, what you value, all of that kind of contributes to this whole

Cathy:

umbrella of anxiety, if you will.

Ian:

that's fascinating stuff.

Ian:

And as I said I'm no expert.

Cathy:

So I don't equate it to being smart and then you're anxious.

Cathy:

No.

Ian:

Okay.

Ian:

Okay.

Ian:

No that's cool.

Ian:

Okay.

Ian:

Can you share maybe some common situations where anxiety affects

Ian:

creativity specifically and maybe focus with ADHD individuals?

Cathy:

it's it affects it when it really paralyzes us, right?

Cathy:

When we go into this, I can't, I just can't, I can't.

Cathy:

I, so we really get ourselves into this place of saber tooth tiger running.

Cathy:

And I just need to fight, flee, freeze, all of that good

Cathy:

stuff that happens, right?

Cathy:

So we block our creativity, like we cut access to it.

Cathy:

And it's not we, it's the brain does that.

Cathy:

So brain goes, I'm in fight or flight mode.

Cathy:

And there's also controversy around the myth of fight or flight.

Cathy:

I'm in high intensity.

Cathy:

My body is right now trying to survive because emotionally I'm like, wow

Cathy:

there's boiling point happening.

Cathy:

And so really at that point your brain goes, all we need to do is just survive.

Cathy:

So just chill.

Cathy:

We're surviving.

Cathy:

We're not going to go get creative.

Cathy:

We're not going to go do new things.

Cathy:

We just need to survive.

Cathy:

And what do we do when we're surviving?

Cathy:

We're just like, we either crawl in and shut down.

Cathy:

Or run away from it or don't do anything at all.

Cathy:

So I think that's where it can impair creativity because it literally

Cathy:

creates a block in your brain.

Cathy:

So you can't access that, that creative side of yourself, the critical thinking

Cathy:

part the front of your brain the executive functioning part of your brain.

Cathy:

And if you, that becomes your chronic state, then it's this vicious loop

Cathy:

that wait, last time I did this happened, and I'm going to go back to

Cathy:

that, which is to freeze, to fight.

Ian:

yeah.

Ian:

And I think this is a common thing.

Ian:

I speak to other people with ADHD who have similar things.

Ian:

It's been a constant issue for me.

Ian:

I think that I get into this state where I'm Constantly overthinking

Ian:

and become a perfectionist.

Ian:

I cycle in these kind of like never ending circles that and it just means

Ian:

that my creativity goes out the window.

Ian:

I also it's exhausting.

Ian:

It's totally exhausting.

Ian:

And then for me, I think it contributed to burnout at least

Ian:

two times in my life as well.

Ian:

So what is going on there?

Ian:

And what are the practical steps that we can break free of this never ending cycle?

Ian:

Because it could, it feels like we're trapped.

Cathy:

And it is a trap, honestly.

Cathy:

It's the perfectionism kicks in, like you said.

Cathy:

I don't have all the skills, so let me go study some more on the skills and learn

Cathy:

a little bit more before I do the thing.

Cathy:

So for me, the way I look at it is a couple of things.

Cathy:

Talk it out.

Cathy:

As opposed to keeping it in your head, one thing is to truly find your, I call them

Cathy:

your board of brains, where you imagine you've got all these other brains that

Cathy:

are not attached to the same thing that you're so attached to, and that they can

Cathy:

facilitate a conversation with you where you can just talk out what's happening.

Cathy:

Most of the time when we talk it out, it starts to click into place

Cathy:

and you will self correct yourself.

Cathy:

As you talk it out, you're hearing it you're discussing it.

Cathy:

Energy is getting up there.

Cathy:

People are like, Oh wow, tell me more about that.

Cathy:

You remember, you recall why you even wanted to do this

Cathy:

thing in the first place.

Cathy:

Sometimes we forget the why because we're now so much into the execution

Cathy:

and the doom and gloom of how the heck am I going to do this, that it's

Cathy:

nice to bring back the, why did I even start this podcast in the first place?

Cathy:

So it's to talk it out with somebody.

Cathy:

And usually I like to set boundaries with my border brains.

Cathy:

Wait till I ask you for advice, so for a while just listen to me ramble on.

Cathy:

So I have some really patient Board of Brain members that, that are

Cathy:

there for me at the right time at the right place for different projects.

Cathy:

The other thing is, what's the story that you keep telling

Cathy:

yourself or keep rehearsing?

Cathy:

That rehearsal is quite entertaining for our brain.

Cathy:

Unfortunately, it's wow, let me tell you 20 ways from Sunday,

Cathy:

why I haven't done this thing.

Cathy:

And in detail, my clients will tell me why they haven't done it.

Cathy:

Like in depth, right?

Cathy:

And then when I go, okay what do you want?

Cathy:

Actually, they freeze.

Cathy:

They're like, huh?

Cathy:

Never thought of that.

Cathy:

But I know pretty damn sure why I don't want.

Cathy:

So we try to create a different story that they can rehearse.

Cathy:

That rumination, because it's so entertaining, and I always like

Cathy:

to tell my clients, look, part of this story is serving you.

Cathy:

It's keeping you safe.

Cathy:

What parts of it can we just try to tweak a little bit, give it a different

Cathy:

chapter, give it a different narrative.

Cathy:

So I don't do a complete overhaul of their story, but I come in as the director.

Cathy:

I'm like, okay, you as the actor, where do you want to go with this?

Cathy:

And you have autonomy to ad lib.

Cathy:

You can modify the script a little bit.

Cathy:

What would you like to do?

Cathy:

So those are two things that are coming to mind right now.

Cathy:

There's more, but I'll leave it

Ian:

Oh, wow.

Ian:

You've already got my brain buzzing around with thoughts there.

Ian:

I love that idea and I definitely find speaking these things out like I there's

Ian:

so many negative thoughts sometimes that are spinning around and I'm feeding this

Ian:

narrative to myself and unfortunately like my wife sometimes gets the brunt

Ian:

of this like I will then go and talk to her about all these things and for

Ian:

me it comes out in this like big spurt of negativity and like disaster the

Ian:

world's gonna end kind of narrative.

Ian:

And we've been married long enough for her to know I just

Ian:

need to get that out of my system.

Ian:

And then once I've got that out of the system, we then are able to

Ian:

talk about actually, you know what?

Ian:

It's not that bad.

Ian:

I love that way that you tweak the system slightly and i'd

Ian:

love you to go over that again.

Ian:

So is this kind of negative cycle that we're going through, which is not

Ian:

true in many cases, you use the word entertaining, is that kind of entertaining

Ian:

but in more of a negative way?

Ian:

Are we using that because our brain almost enjoys that,

Cathy:

Yeah, it's dopamine it gives you the dopamine so it is

Cathy:

your brain goes, you know what you didn't give me an alternative This

Cathy:

is the way I'm gonna do it I have an eight year old who is conflict

Cathy:

seeking like it's nobody's business.

Cathy:

This morning she did literally that my socks don't fit full blown tantrum

Cathy:

And I knew it's because she's hungry.

Cathy:

She's bored.

Cathy:

She doesn't want to go to school.

Cathy:

So instead what does she do?

Cathy:

creates a volcano But also her executive functioning at eight is not developed.

Cathy:

So here I am trying to calm myself.

Cathy:

I was thinking about our podcast.

Cathy:

I'm like, okay, I'm going to be talking to Ian soon.

Cathy:

I'm going to be adulting soon.

Cathy:

So just be with us for a little bit.

Cathy:

But for her, she can't, there's nothing.

Cathy:

It's gone.

Cathy:

The whole brain is hijacking everything.

Cathy:

And the brain is in charge of her emotions in that moment and good or not.

Cathy:

So it's almost like Ian, it's for me as for myself, as an adult,

Cathy:

it's there's little Kathy and then there's the adult Kathy.

Cathy:

Oh, little Kathy hasn't played in a while this week.

Cathy:

She's been hyper focused into work.

Cathy:

She's been doing.

Cathy:

We haven't had enough play time.

Cathy:

One of the things I do with my clients is when was the last time you had

Cathy:

seven minutes of joy in your day?

Cathy:

I'm a big fan of play and seven minutes is just the arbitrary number I came up with.

Cathy:

And it's to just chill the hell out and not be so wound tight.

Cathy:

We usually are.

Cathy:

And it's just got to do this.

Cathy:

I've got to do this.

Cathy:

Oh my God, I'm having an unproductive day.

Cathy:

Doom and gloom.

Cathy:

No, actually you did two days of hyper focus and you're in

Cathy:

hyper focus hangover right now.

Cathy:

Be with that.

Cathy:

And the hyperfocus hangover is your dopamine is rebalancing.

Cathy:

It's coming back down because you went up so high.

Cathy:

So what can I do right now?

Cathy:

Just tiny little bit to give the right kind of dopamine to go

Cathy:

after the right kind versus this conflict seeking with myself and I,

Ian:

Yeah, that's so interesting.

Ian:

So the brain is pretty clever.

Ian:

It can come up with all these scenarios.

Ian:

If you're not giving it a story, it's going to come up with its own and

Ian:

it's not necessarily going to be the one that you need or that you want.

Ian:

It's going to be useful to you.

Ian:

So you talked about friends that you can talk to.

Ian:

How do you choose the best ones for you?

Ian:

Are there different ones for different situations?

Ian:

For example, like stuff that's maybe happening at home and

Ian:

from a personal point of view, stuff that's happening at work.

Cathy:

So I treat my life like a project, a massive project

Cathy:

with many different streams.

Cathy:

So if it's a for my child.

Cathy:

I have my therapist and coach that I go through for her.

Cathy:

So they sit on my board of brains for parenting skills.

Cathy:

If it's my business from time to time, I will bring on different business

Cathy:

coaches, depending on what I'm trying to do with my business in the moment.

Cathy:

So if I'm doing a lot of writing, I bring on the writing coach.

Cathy:

So I don't believe in this one person can do it all approach.

Cathy:

People are specialized and use them for that, leverage them for their specialty.

Cathy:

My sister, bless her heart, she is my logistical brain.

Cathy:

So I will go to her, I'm like, okay, we're throwing a birthday party.

Cathy:

What are we doing?

Cathy:

What are the, okay, you're going to do this.

Cathy:

You're going to do this.

Cathy:

You're going to do this.

Cathy:

You're going to do this.

Cathy:

So she, within seconds, she gives me the thing.

Cathy:

I have this best friend of mine, same thing.

Cathy:

She's very logical.

Cathy:

I'm like, okay, I'm about to do something impulsive.

Cathy:

I call her up.

Cathy:

What do you think?

Cathy:

And then she questions, okay, did you think about this?

Cathy:

Did you, what about this?

Cathy:

So she's, with her questioning, she is getting my head, my

Cathy:

heart, and my gut aligned.

Cathy:

So when it comes to decision making for us, there's a glitch in this

Cathy:

matrix of head, heart, and gut.

Cathy:

I call them the three brains.

Cathy:

And so to talk it out, these folks that have the particular skills

Cathy:

that I don't have, that's what I'm bringing on in my board is that those

Cathy:

people that they true, I don't have those skills, logistical things.

Cathy:

I don't know how I've lived so far and survived

Ian:

that makes

Cathy:

that skill.

Ian:

makes total sense.

Ian:

So does it matter?

Ian:

Do they need to be separated from you slightly?

Ian:

Like you obviously you mentioned your sister, you've got, best friend,

Ian:

they're close to you personally.

Ian:

But you also mentioned coaches.

Ian:

I found that sometimes the closest people can almost be too close to give you

Ian:

they're almost too emotionally involved.

Ian:

Is that a thing?

Ian:

Do you think?

Cathy:

So I set boundaries with my closest ones.

Cathy:

So with sister she knows and I tell her I'm like in this one I actually need you

Cathy:

to do x y and z so I think when we give our Board members the responsibility

Cathy:

with guidelines it is helpful.

Cathy:

I have another colleague of mine that i'm like it's verbal processing time, baby

Cathy:

I need to just talk some shit out She's like, okay riff away and then she goes.

Cathy:

Do you want me to be your coach?

Cathy:

Do you want me to be your advisor?

Cathy:

Do you want me to be your consultant?

Cathy:

So she knows by now we have an understanding of how

Cathy:

we want to play the role.

Cathy:

And I'm also respectful to make sure I don't create codependency,

Cathy:

because that's a thing within our

Ian:

Oh, yeah.

Cathy:

That we become dependent on this.

Cathy:

So I'm fully aware that I own responsibility of this.

Cathy:

I also check in, do you have brain juice to do this with me?

Cathy:

If they don't, no problem.

Cathy:

I'll come back to you later because that whole rejection thing that's out

Cathy:

there can, can, you know, well, Kathy, I haven't talked to so and so in six months.

Cathy:

You want me to call them?

Cathy:

So I understand also the difficulty of how do you build a board of brains

Cathy:

when your social connections are not so strong, but over time, one

Cathy:

person at a time we can do that.

Ian:

That's such good advice.

Ian:

Yeah, I love that.

Ian:

One thing that I don't know what you think about this might be slightly

Ian:

controversial, but I, so this isn't instead of real human border brains,

Ian:

but I've been playing around with chat GPT the voice conversation app.

Ian:

So you can actually have a conversation with that.

Ian:

And I think that's, I keep on telling this story, but I dropped my daughter off at

Ian:

a choir rehearsal in our town and came back, interacting with it through the car.

Ian:

And I just basically came up with lots of utter what was going on in my brain.

Ian:

And it managed to detangle all of that.

Ian:

And at the end of it, I just felt I was able to kind of know

Ian:

what I was doing with my life.

Ian:

And that, so I think AI can play a role as well.

Cathy:

I'm so glad you mentioned that.

Cathy:

Chat GPT, I call him Chad and it's him.

Cathy:

We have many arguments throughout the day and we contemplate on many

Cathy:

things throughout the day together.

Cathy:

And honestly, it's ever since it came to my life, it's been a game changer for me

Cathy:

because sometimes there are things that I just want to bounce off of somebody and

Cathy:

I don't want to pay them $500 an hour.

Cathy:

We just say that, you know, and I think, this whole thing about AI is bad and oh my

Cathy:

God dah, dah, depends on how you use it.

Cathy:

And if you use it responsibly for those of us, it's my assistive technology.

Cathy:

I say ADHD is a disability for me and for my disability, AI

Cathy:

is my assistive technology.

Cathy:

It's just if you have a screen reader or whatever, This AI has

Cathy:

helped me so much with contemplation, bouncing ideas back and forth, I'm

Cathy:

thinking of doing this content.

Cathy:

Tell me if I should do it.

Cathy:

What else can I do with it?

Cathy:

Pull it apart.

Cathy:

It's been my behind the scene advisor.

Cathy:

Like I can't not live without, if it goes away, I don't know what I'll do.

Cathy:

I have become dependent on that one.

Cathy:

I'll tell you that

Ian:

I know.

Ian:

Oh, it sounds like we're definitely alike there.

Ian:

It's just, I use it all the time.

Ian:

I'm aware of time with this.

Ian:

I feel we've covered so much yet.

Ian:

We have so much more that we could talk about with this.

Ian:

And I loved what you were talking about changing that narrative.

Ian:

So maybe you could go over that, but also are there any other strategies

Ian:

that we can manage anxiety in our lives to help us really harness

Ian:

and focus on our creativity.

Ian:

Cause for so many of us with ADHD, yes, there are loads of

Ian:

negatives that we've talked about, but so many of us are creative.

Ian:

We have divergent thinking.

Ian:

Many of us I've done some like amazing work that some of my neurotypical friends

Ian:

just think how on earth did he do that?

Ian:

And I thought that's just the way my brain works.

Ian:

So they're clearly positives, but there were clearly some downsides as well.

Ian:

How, what are the strategies?

Cathy:

I think the biggest one, because we'll sit in rumination for

Cathy:

so long with some of this stuff.

Cathy:

is take a pause.

Cathy:

What's the current story I'm telling myself?

Cathy:

And actually I have it in my sticky notes right here.

Cathy:

This is my visual prompt.

Cathy:

So is that the thought you want to rehearse more of?

Cathy:

Question number one.

Cathy:

And then what's a playful way to pause and rebirth a new way?

Cathy:

Think about that thing that you're thinking about over and over just

Cathy:

that if you could put like it's I teach it to my coaches that I

Cathy:

train I teach it to my clients.

Cathy:

Whenever you go down that vortex of oh my god, I can't and anxiety

Cathy:

takes over What's the story?

Cathy:

What part of it?

Cathy:

Can you modify just a little bit?

Cathy:

That's what I like to leave you with.

Ian:

That is wonderful.

Ian:

You're just gonna have to come back onto the show to, we can

Ian:

talk a little bit more about this.

Ian:

In fact, you are coming back talking about harnessing creativity

Ian:

while managing the chaos.

Ian:

So that's gonna be a lot of

Ian:

fun.

Ian:

Let's talk about that.

Ian:

Thank you so much Cathy for coming onto the show.

Ian:

Where's the best place?

Ian:

Place that people can find you.

Ian:

All the links will be in the show notes at smartadhd.

Ian:

me, but where's the best place.

Cathy:

Thank you so much for having me.

Cathy:

They can find me on readysetchoose.com and all of my services are there, I have

Cathy:

a podcast there that people can listen to and happy to serve in any way I can.

Ian:

Awesome.

Ian:

Definitely check out the podcast.

Ian:

I've already started listening to those episodes.

Ian:

They're really fascinating.

Ian:

I've you could say I'm going down a rabbit hole with that.

Ian:

So yeah, check it out.

Ian:

So thank you, Cathy for coming onto the podcast.

Ian:

Really appreciate it.

Ian:

And thank you for watching and for, or for listening, for plugging us into your

Ian:

ears or for watching on the YouTubes.

Ian:

Really appreciate that.

Ian:

Until next time, I encourage you to be smart with your ADHD.

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