Shownotes
Wisdom-Trek / Creating a Legacy
Welcome to Day 429 of our Wisdom-Trek, and thank you for joining me.
This is Guthrie Chamberlain, Your Guide to Wisdom
What Will Happen if You Succeed?
Thank you for joining us for our 5 days per week wisdom and legacy building podcast. This is Day 429 of our trek, and today is Motivation Monday. Every Monday we hike the trails of life that will encourage and motivate us to live rich and satisfying lives this week. Today we will explore The Fear of Success.
We are broadcasting from our studio at The Big House in Marietta, Ohio. If all goes according to plan, when this episode originally airs, we will be back in Charlotte for a couple of weeks. Paula’s quilting retreat went well, and they all had a great time. Paula and her friends were able to accomplish a good bit on their projects.
We all have our areas of strengths and weaknesses, and the detail work of quilting and cross stitching that Paula does so well would not be an area where I would excel. I do enjoy helping pick out the materials, though, as I seem to have an eye for coordinating the colors and patterns, and then Paula makes them look great. It is the same for each of us. We have areas of strength where we should focus the majority of our time to maximize our efforts and bring the most impact to our world as we create our living legacy each day.
As I have had six decades so far to observe and help others, one phenomenon that I have noticed of those who have a limited impact on others is they have an excessive amount of fear in their lives. Many would assume that the lack of impact is the result of fear of failure, but think about it this way…Inactivity, procrastination, and perfectionism automatically produce failure, so if a person truly fears failure, then it would encourage them to be motivated. In most cases, that is not the case. The more I observe, the more evident it is that for most people that are stymied in life because of the fear of success. Success requires action, being uncomfortable, and taking personal responsibility for the outcome…These are traits that many people choose not to possess. As we break camp and head out on today’s trek, let me ask you this question that may spur you to be motivated…
What Will Happen if You Succeed?
Sometimes you find yourself with a goal you want to achieve, but you just don’t take the appropriate action to reach it. You aren’t really afraid of failure or rejection, and doing nothing will allow you to succeed at failure. The path to the goal seems clear enough and might even be an interesting challenge, and occasionally you’ll make some progress. When you think about moving forward, though, you can’t seem to motivate yourself, and you’re not sure why. This often happens with long-term goals that require intermittent action, like losing weight or transitioning to start a new business and eventually quit your job.
One question I’ve found helpful to ask in these situations is this, “What will happen if you succeed?” Forget about what you hope will happen or what you fear might happen, but realistically consider what probably will happen. So you achieve your goal. Then what? What else will change? What additional responsibilities will you have? How much of a greater impact will you have on others?
I’m not talking about giving a 5-second cursory answer, like “If I lose the weight, then I’ll be thin.” Set aside at least 15-30 minutes of uninterrupted time with no internet, TV, radio, or other distractions just to ponder about how your life will really change once you achieve a particular goal. There are often unexpected side effects that you may not be aware of consciously, but subconsciously they can be enough to prevent you from taking committed action.
As an example, if you lose a lot of weight, here are some possible side effects. People will notice and will comment about it. Other people will ask you for diet advice. You may feel you need to continue with a permanent lifestyle change to maintain your new weight. You may need to buy new clothes. You may become more attractive to others and thereby attract more social encounters (wanted or unwanted). Overweight friends might become jealous. Your family may resist your changes. You may feel stressed about whether you can keep the weight off. You may worry about the loss of certain favorite foods from your diet, and the list could go on and on.
Success requires change, and all change has both positive and negative consequences.
It’s rare that a goal is all roses. Success requires change, and all change has both positive and negative consequences. Often while people claim to want to succeed at something, the reality is that the perceived negatives outweigh the positives for them. One way to overcome this problem is to consciously think about what those negatives are, and then uproot them one by one just as you would if you were weeding your flower or vegetable garden. Uprooting a negative side effect could mean figuring out how to eliminate it completely, or it could mean just accepting it and learning to live with it.
It’s certainly helpful to focus on the positive side of a goal. But don’t forget to take an occasional survey of the dark side and accept that you’re going to have to deal with that too. Just as inactivity and failure have consequences, so does success.
Unlike fear of failure and fear of rejection, fear of success can be far more insidious because it’s almost always unconscious. But it’s not fear of success itself that is the problem but rather fear of the side effects of success, many of which may be genuinely unwanted. Failure and success both require sacrifices, but you may not be consciously aware of them. Fears that are never evaluated consciously have a tendency to grow stronger. The reason is simple behavioral conditioning — when you avoid something you fear (either consciously or subconsciously), you automatically reinforce the avoidance behavior. So when you (even unknowingly) avoid working on your goal because of a hidden fear of success, you actually reinforce the habit of procrastination, so as time goes by, it becomes harder and harder to get yourself to take action. This is a very devious and many times unconscious deception.
Asking, “What will happen if I succeed?” can solve this problem because it focuses your conscious attention on those fears. Fear has a tendency to shrink under direct examination, making it easier for you to take action. When I say that fear shrinks, another way of stating this is that subconscious behavioral conditioning weakens under conscious scrutiny. I know some people dislike the word “fear” with respect to their own behavior. Realize, though, anytime you consciously or unconsciously choose not to take action, or act in such a way that you avoid succeeding, it is because of fear.
When you confront fear for what it is, an additional benefit is that you can also devise intelligent workarounds for those fears-made-conscious, some of which may indeed be valid signals of unsolved problems. Going back to the weight loss example, if you lose a lot of weight, you probably will need new clothes. If you don’t have the money to buy new clothes, then that may be a real problem you’ll need to address. You may see yourself as needing to wear oversized outfits, which may be necessary for a period of time. Left unacknowledged, even a simple problem like this can be enough to subconsciously sabotage you from achieving your goal. Once you examine the situation consciously and figure out a way to deal with it in advance, you’re sending a message to your subconscious that you needn’t fear this problem because you have a practical way to solve it. There are always ways to work through these excuses that may manifest themselves. In this example, you may need to purchase secondhand clothes for a while until you have adequate money to buy new.
Now let’s consider from a different perspective. Suppose you ask, “What will happen if I succeed?” Upon considering all the side effects, you realize that you don’t actually want to achieve the goal at all. The negatives outweigh the positives. At this point, you can dismiss it and alleviate the associated guilt and pressure. I encounter this at times when I look at the various options to expand our business offerings.
When I ask this magic question, I realize that the sacrifice of family time or health would not be congruent with my overall life purpose and goals. There are certain business ventures that while they may bring monetary success are not worth the sacrifices that would have to be made. After analyzing all issues, I realize it wouldn’t be the success I truly want and is most important. This, at times, is a difficult realization for me. When everything is taken into consideration, I recognize that my trail of success which I had plotted out is now taking me up the wrong mountain. When I reach these reflection points and have to understand the likely consequences of hiking that trail on my life’s treks. I may have to choose an alternative trail that keeps me on the path to my summit.
Even now as I plan future trails for our business and life, I attempt to factor in all the possible rabbit trails and obstacles that we may face. I simply have to realize that I don’t have the bandwidth during this season of life for certain endeavors to still be true to my life purpose. One of the more difficult decisions for me is letting go of the goals and dreams I have for certain aspects of our business. If they are worth pursuing, they may need to be set aside for a more appropriate season. There are many creative ideas and potential opportunities that are available in today’s connected environment. I have to realize though that God has called me to brighten my portion of the world with the light that I currently have and to do it well. I have grown to learn that we go through certain cycles and seasons of life, and sometimes we have to wait until it is planting season once again before we move forward with certain endeavors.
Many people do not succeed because of their fear of success, which is masked as fear of failure. Are you willing to push past those fears and ask the magic question? What will happen if I succeed? If I lose the weight? Get the date? Earn the promotion? Start the business? Get pregnant? Quit smoking? Become a millionaire? Stretch myself? With an open analysis of your life, you can move forward motivated to succeed without fear of success or failure. As Paul wrote in his 2nd letter to his apprentice in Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
Today on our trek I asked you this question, “What would happen if you succeed?” What is your answer? Please let me know by posting a comment on today’s journal page, or emailing me at guthrie@wisdom-trek.com.
Tomorrow’s short trek is part of our Wisdom Unplugged series that we are now hiking on Tuesdays and Thursdays. These 2-3 minute wisdom supplements will assist you in becoming healthy, wealthy, and wise throughout the entire week. So encourage your friends and family to join us, and then come along tomorrow for another day of our Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.
That will finish our trek for today. As you enjoy these daily doses of wisdom, we ask you to help us grow Wisdom-Trek by sharing with your family and friends through email, Facebook, Twitter, or in person and inviting them to come along with us each day. If you would like to listen to any of the past daily treks, they are available at Wisdom-Trek.com. Don’t forget to subscribe to Wisdom-Trek, so each trek will be downloaded to you automatically.
Thank you for allowing me to be your guide, mentor, and most of all your friend as I serve you through the Wisdom-Trek podcast and journal.
As we take this trek of life together, let us always:
- Live Abundantly (Fully)
- Love Unconditionally
- Listen Intentionally
- Learn Continuously
- Lend to others Generously
- Lead with Integrity
- Leave a Living Legacy Each Day
This is Guthrie Chamberlain reminding you to Keep Moving Forward, Enjoy Your Journey, and Create a Great Day Every Day! See you tomorrow!