Today on BEP Talks, I had the pleasure of speaking with powerhouse leadership coach Debbie Chen. We dove into the roots of self-doubt, the labels that hold us back, and why it’s never too late to rewrite our stories. Debbie shared her proven Wake Up, Show Up, Step Up method, designed to help ambitious women step into their authority, crush self-sabotage, and lead with unstoppable confidence. If you’re ready to disrupt your comfort zone and become an unforgettable leader, this episode is a must-listen. Don’t miss Debbie’s powerful insights and generous offer to help you ignite your next-level transformation!

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Well, welcome to this edition of BEP Talks where we

bring you incredible people from all walks of life, all

industries and professions, all levels of expertise. But they're

all here with one very important share

their beliefs, their experiences, their passions.

They open up, you get to know them, and trust

me, they want to get to know you too. And we'll talk about that a

little bit later on. So never disappoints, and today

is certainly no exception. Today's

guest is Debbie Chen, a leadership

coach, a strategist, and a powerhouse speaker

who works with ambitious women to help them stop second

guessing themselves and learn to lead with unstoppable

confidence and clarity. Debbie has

decades of experience in business and leadership and she knows

how self doubt can quietly, sometimes even

loudly sabotage your success. So

after rising from invisibility herself to

bold, purpose driven leadership,

Debbie created the wake up, show up, step up

method. And it's her proven process to help women

rewire fear based thinking, to

activate their authority and to amplify

their influence. Debbie is known for her humor, her

big heart and high performance strategies. And

Debbie sparks wake up moments that you're going to experience

very soon to ignite real transformation.

Debbie's on a mission to empower women to disrupt

their comfort zones and to empower industries

to lead with courage, authenticity, and to become

not just memorable, but unforgettable leaders

who shift atmospheres with purpose and

power. So please welcome today's very special

guest, Debbie Chen.

Welcome, Debbie. Thank you so much for having me. I'm

absolutely delighted to be here. It is my absolute pleasure

and thank you very much for, for being here today.

What I want to do, as I said through the bio,

is share how you can empower

women to empower themselves is really what it

really should come down to. Am I right? Something

tells me, tell me if I'm right. When you talk about

self doubt and sabotaging and if you look at bed

talks, beliefs, experiences, passions,

is there a backstory to this for you, Debbie? Does this come from experience?

Oh, it sure does. If I can tell a story, please.

So if you imagine weeds. Oh,

weeds. What? I'm hearing this from

across the playground in my fourth grade year. Weeds.

Oh, we're gonna call her weeds. And I'm thinking, they're looking

at me, I'm looking at the ground, I'm grabbing a

hold tightly of this big red ball and I'm trying to figure

out, why are they calling me weeds? And

then one boy yells out, hey. Well, she's got like, she's got

like hair in her armpits. So we're gonna call her weeds.

This fourth grade heart just dropped. I really

wish the, the, the world could have just. Or the, The. The

soil under me could have just swallowed me up in that moment.

And in that moment too, I could have just run and I could have just

changed the trajectory of my whole life, right? And I

could have just taken on that label. But in that

glimpse, just that briefest of moments, I thought,

no. And I turned around and I started

laughing with them. And I was like, that was

great. Oh my gosh, that's really funny. Good job, good

job. Now in the inside, I was screaming, oh my gosh,

what did they just did? Right? You're already a sensitive, you know,

prepubescent kid. And I just remember in that

moment, no, they're not getting to stick that label on me. They're not

getting to take. Take that label. And I'm not going to accept

it. And then in later years,

I realized I kind of forgot about that. I forgot about that

pivotal moment. And in later years, finally

I realized I was allowing lies,

untruths that were spoken over me, that I would speak to myself

to really keep me hidden,

keep me less than. Keep me playing small, if you

will, and showing up small. Right? Even there's some people, they don't know it

today, that I felt like, ashamed to be in their presence

for no good reason. But it was just that whole idea of I was again,

I was letting lies and self sabotage just

shrink me. And then I just learned really how

to. Very intentionally, and it does take work, it's not an overnight

thing, but very intentionally grabbing hold of that,

going, okay, wait a minute. Let me evaluate what was just said

or the thought that just went through my head. Is that true?

Let me put the light of truth on that,

okay? Oh, no, it isn't. All right, we're going to cut it out like a

disease, okay? And then we're going to take that, cut out the lie,

replace it with truth, and then we're going to internalize that. And it

did. It took maybe a couple years for me. I guess I had a lot

of hooks in me or labels I had to rip off.

And, and that was my part of my transformation. And I

see that with the clients that I work with as well, that

sometimes they know it, sometimes they're aware, sometimes they don't know that there's just this

invisible wall of sorts that's keeping them from

up, leveling. And it is now it isn't all about mindset. There's

definitely a skill set that has to be applied, but that is a

big part of that self sabotage. Would you agree with. I

totally agree. And I'm thinking in fourth grade, you're what, like 10 years old?

That's a very precious, vulnerable, I would

say, time that can influence someone

unconsciously, subconsciously, for the rest of your life. So

I want to say to you, I'm sorry that you experienced that, but how

brilliant you were in that

prepubescent time of your life, as you called it, to

recognize this and to take control of

it, that was amazing. You

showed natural leadership, Debbie, very early in life,

and I so applaud you for that. And yes, people

put labels on the other thought I had is.

You know how they say bad press is better than no press? Is that

at least you were being noticed

by others. Right. Do we sometimes do that?

Look for ways to be noticed in less than great ways

just to be noticed? Yes, yes. I mean, a

typical scenario for a lot of your audience here is you

go to networking events and you see the people doling

out the business cards like their Pokemon card collectors.

Right? And how attractive is

that? They get the attention, but not maybe the attention

that they want. Right. Because they're not making the true connection versus someone

who walks into the room with the. With an authority. An

authority meaning knowing what you carry. Right. And.

And they walk in the room with more of what I call a host

mentality, or an anchor mentality, if you will, where now

they're not focusing on their own belly button. They

are. They are looking outward and saying, how can I change the atmosphere of this

room? What is the best that I can bring to this event,

even if I'm not the host, Right. So what does a host do?

They go and they make connections. They introduce, hey, how are you doing? Is

everything going okay? Do you need some more water? That kind of thing. Even

again, even if you're not the official host, but now you're

not just memorable in that event or that room, you start to

become unforgettable. Yes, yes, yes.

And there are subtle ways of doing it. You mentioned that.

And I know for some it's just a natural part of

their personality, maybe how they were raised. I'm the oldest girl in a big

family. It kind of comes with, you know, the birthright, the

birth duty, what have you, where you just tend to play that role quite

naturally. But it can be learned or

it can be improved upon, can it not? Right? Absolutely.

Absolutely. And it is. It is like those simple skills.

And again, that Came out of a lot of my personal experience. Now I was

an only child and so it was. I had

to make decisions where I didn't have someone to

huddle with in a room, if you will. And at a

young age, I, I remember reading this fabulous book that

actually kind of talked a little bit about being that host. And to

be a friend, you have to step out to be a friend, to make a

connection, you have to step out to be a connect, you know, to connect.

Yes. Why do we all wait for someone else to take the first step?

Right. Because we're all, we're all sitting there going, looking at our own belly

buttons again. Right? Yeah. Introvert, extrovert. Which is very often

misunderstood. So. So you

mentioned, you know, authority. Authority doesn't mean

taking over and control. It's kind of the difference between

demanding attention and just naturally commanding

attention. Yes, yes, that's. I love that definition. Yes,

absolutely. And again, it's where if you

imagine we walk into a room, because I know we're talking to an audience

of ladies, so we walk in the room with our fabulous purse or

bag, you know, the ultimate accessory, and it's filled,

coupled figuratively with the skill set that we

have, whether it is our speaking abilities,

the business, the value that our product or service

has, but even more importantly, who we are. When we're grounded,

we know who we are. This is also part of

confidence. But confidence really isn't

necessarily internal, but

it's. It's where you are actually putting things into

action. You're stepping out. And that's also where the authority comes in, like

you said, is it's your, your you're commanding

without demanding that authority. And

people sense that. That's the really interesting thing. Right. Like

people, the heads turn when that person walks in the door.

Yes. Why is it that so many women

have this, this self doubt, this

second guessing? I'm guessing. Well,

you're going to tell me, but I'm thinking that it might be just not in

their business life, but that it comes from their personal

life that they carry that baggage to work with them, let's say.

Why is that? Right. Well, one of the things I've learned is

obviously things are going to be different for different people from their backgrounds,

etc. Right. But I love this account that actually my husband

told me was he would ride in a group of

motorcycles and the whole group could see way

up ahead there was this huge boulder in the middle of the road. And it

was just interesting to see how everybody approached that boulder. So that boulder could be

that thing that is keeping you from moving forward,

that what we say about ourselves, you know, the self

doubts, whatever you want to term that. But you see this boulder in the road

and he said it was so fascinating because everyone could see it,

but everybody navigated it very differently. And even

believe it or not, some people still crashed in front of

the rock even though they saw it right there because they weren't sure,

well, how am I, how am I going to get around it? Or they were

just so focused on the boulder versus how am I going to get around

this? I'm going to go over, around side,

sideways, flying over it, whatnot. And it was just a

really fascinating look into

how people deal with that. Yeah. So what I'm getting from that is that

if you stay focused on the problem, you're going to crash right into the

problem as opposed to, well, there is the problem.

What's my solution? How do I navigate around it?

Right, right. Which is what? You know what, I guess

why in life itself, everybody can lead

in his or her own way, within his or her own family,

let's say. But in the business,

am I correct in thinking. And I'm going to say it, if everybody's

a leader who's following,

You'll have to have people who are willing to follow you. So when it

comes to women, most particularly,

where does our fear. Well, we know it

comes from, from a backstory, but is it a fear of

success? Is it fear of failure,

which we view as opposites? And I don't think they're opposites.

Fear of criticism. What is it? What is the fear?

Right, right. Yeah. And I love it. Well, what

I've really come to understand what fear is like, I know a lot of people

have heard the fear is basically

of something that's not real, which it isn't.

Right. It's because it's something that hasn't even happened yet.

But we're all, we're already trying to control something that hasn't

happened. And that's. And maybe that is, maybe the root is,

that's that need for that control over something that

hasn't happened already. And which is kind of

counterintuitive. Right. It's a little bit illogical. Just kind of like

that rock, like, oh, I'm going to crash into it, even though I have half

a mile to decide how to get around it. It's that barrier that can

get in the way. I'm going to crash into it.

Investment to crash into it. That's what you were focused on.

Right? Right. It's a great story. I'm just picturing it. I'm

seeing who would I be riding with and who would crash and who would go

left, who would go right, who would stop. I'm just trying to. It's a

funny, it's a funny thing to imagine. So let me ask you

something. You took control

of yourself beginning at the age of 10 through that very generous

story that you shared. Is it ever too

late for a woman in business who's self

doubting, who's sabotaging, who's not accomplishing what she

knows in her heart, she wants to, she needs to,

I always say, deserves to. Is it ever too late

to change that around? Right, right. No,

absolutely not. Because that was one of the things where that was

for me, that pivotal moment at the age of 10 and then just

life kind of took over. Right. We moved into, you know, a decade or

two after that where, yeah, just life starts

to happen and you just kind of forget that. Right? Yeah. And, and

I know, I don't think it's ever too late because it is. It's a

very intentional moment. Just like that intentional moment where maybe we get into

our 50s and go, you know, maybe I should start exercising.

There's always going to be the benefit from that. Right? And

yeah, so absolutely not. That's a good example.

So you created a program called

the Wake Up, Show Up, Step up method.

Talk to us about that, Debbie. So

this really has evolved from

all those years in multiple types of businesses and

multiple life experiences as well, where

I feel like a lot of women in business

need to wake up into their potential

to really know even more what they carry, the

magnificence that they carry, the beauty

of who they are, not just physically, but internally as well. The value

that they bring is so important. And I, and

I just like you said, we're never too late. Right. Better late than

never, right? Yeah, yeah. And

also the once waking up, they're

showing up. So then we go back to where we're talking about. So if, if

you're really knowing that value that you carry, not just your products and services,

but who you are now, you're showing up differently.

You're showing up differently for your customers. You're providing win, win,

win sit, which is very disruptive in

most industries. Right. Where it's not win, win, win. And that shows

up whether it's in customer service. Again,

we can think of a Ritz Carlton as an example of

phenomenal service where, just side note, where they

anticipate what the customer Wants. And

that comes from a place of confidence and authority. Right. That even

again, another side note, that their employees within Ritz

Carlton have a $2,000 budget

where they can take care of any need, whatever it is, they

have a budget to take care of a guest's needs

at their discretion. And do you think like, so do you think those

employees show up differently? Absolutely. Because now they know that

value that they carry. They can remedy a situation and it's win,

win, win for the employees as well as the guests. Just as an example,

that's a great. A great policy to have. You

know, Debbie, a little while ago you used a word that fascinated me. You

said evolves. So I heard evolve. And I'm

thinking evolve shows progression, it shows growth, it

shows forward motion as

opposed to revolve, just going in a circle, evolving, moving forward.

I'm hearing from you, it's never too late. Which is wonderful.

I loved your example of exercising. Yes. It's never too

late to us sit up. It's better than doing none.

Those are choices that we get to make though, aren't they?

Yes. So why do. I'm going to go back.

As I said in your intro, why do women

second guess? Is it offense or defense?

What, what side of the game are they playing when they second guess

themselves and probably

prolong ever making a decision and then suddenly

you're 70 and saying, oh, damn, I didn't do that one sit up 20 years

ago. You know, kind of a feeling. What is it? What's,

what's built into the woman that makes her feel like this?

Yes, yes. And that's such a great, great question.

I do feel it comes back to

that sense of identity, really not knowing who you are

and, and that can be in your upbringing,

it could be in your school environment, it could be any

of those things from the past. But to be really intentional

and saying, okay, exactly, let me sit down. What is getting,

what is making me stuck? Why am I second guessing?

And sometimes it feels like an invisible wall that you just can't

get past. And it is that, okay,

what did I just say over myself? Or what did I just accept from other

people? And it's those labels, those hooks that get into us

that tell us otherwise than who we

really are.

Because one of the examples too, I keep thinking, and I know we have a

similar experience that when I went to an all

girls school for high school and for college and

yes, that's a very unique experience. Absolutely. Can everyone to relate to it?

Maybe not. But at the same time I see the value,

because we weren't comparing, constantly comparing

ourselves. That's a part of it too, Right. When we really know who we are

in identity, we're not busy comparing ourselves. We're not busy

competing with others, like you said, and

also taking it into the business world. I'm not trying

to be like Susie Q, because Susie Q and I can be

in the same industry, but we bring a different.

We bring a different purse into the room with. Right.

Those tools, and we can, again, we can be in the same industry. Some people

are going to be attracted to Susie Q because of who she is and her

personality and what she brings, and others are going to be attracted to me because

of who I am and what I bring. Yeah,

I mean, there's. There's enough for everybody. And

something that I am very, very

supportive of is working with other women and saying,

okay, we might even be in a similar. Maybe even the exact

same industry, but we might serve in a different way.

And if nothing else, it's

ourselves that make it a unique

experience. I bring me, you bring you.

I can't be you, you can't be me.

That we need to honor our individuality, and that's

where our personal authority comes from. So,

wow. There's a lot of work that can be done. And that's what I love,

is that it's not too late. And I know that the wake up, show

up, step up method, which is proven, you've helped so many people.

Who is your. Who do you serve?

Talk to me about your ideal customer. Sure, sure,

sure. Absolutely. I have a passion for

serving entrepreneurial women, business owners, small

business owners who are driven,

who want to have an impact, who want to be

able to influence their communities as well as their world of

influence that also want to be disruptive. They don't

want to be like every other fish in the. But they want to

show up, like you said, not demanding attention,

but commanding attention, just because they're stepping into

who they authentically are. And I know that that term, you know,

authenticity gets bounced around and so forth, and it gets kind of

lost in the shuffle. But again, it's really knowing, hey,

like you said, there is no competition. I'm

coming as me in my magnificent package, just like you

are. So there's no competition, but if we

don't. But the thing that really gets me,

oh, it just lights a fire in me is that I want

so much for women to show up who they are. I mean, how

many times do you hear friends say, or colleagues or

whatnot, like, ah, I Don't want to be in front of the camera. I don't

want to show up on my Facebook lives, you know, so and so forth. And

like bitcoin, that's how people connect with you because they want to

connect with you. And one might say, oh, I don't look good,

or, you know, I have bucktooth, or it's, you

know, hair coming out of my ears, whatever it might be.

But that doesn't matter. People are still going to connect with you

because of who you are. I say

that it's important to know,

just as important in some cases to know who

you're not supposed to work with as it is to find out who you are

supposed to work with so that you can kind of zone in on

that person. You can eliminate some people. And I don't mean to make that sound

like, you know, discard them, but not everybody is necessarily meant

to work with other people. But you want to work with, and

you have to work with ambitious women in business who.

Who want more for themselves. And somehow I have to believe that

they know it's within them to do it

and that you're the person who can help them. And

what a beautiful thing to say. Hello out there. Here's a

solution for you. Debbie can take you through the wake

up, show up. I want to make sure I say it right, step up method

that she has proven with other business women to help you step

into your authenticity, your. Your.

Your personal power, shall I say? And

I want to ask you about that. In your bio, I connected two very important

words, purpose and power.

What's the connection. When,

first of all, when you know who you are and what you carry, then

you also in that, like we talked about, that evolution, as you're growing

and digging into it very intentionally, then you're finding out what your

purpose is. Whether, you know, I. In this industry,

I'm going to serve in this way because I know that's what I'm meant

to do. And then there's power in that because

you're showing up very strongly as who you

are. And like we said, it's not a

dictatorial type of power. It's the

power of just being the best you. Because, you know, it

actually just made me think of, oh, gosh, that I think it was Mark Twain.

I'm not sure now I'm just thinking, but somebody. Or maybe it was

Gandhi. Anyway, it talked about what are the other

in cemeteries. Okay, yeah,

but it was in cemeteries, all the

potential that was lost. Or in the

cemeteries, you see, it's a place where a lot of potential

never was utilized.

They didn't step into it. Yeah. Goals that were never defined

therefore couldn't be met. There's something called the dash

and it's a story or a poem or something and it says between

like your birth year and your passing year is that

dash. That's life. So

what's on your dash? It's just a great visual

and yes to think how much talent. So for each one of

us we don't have to be that we can reach our

goals, leave a great legacy, create great stories. Debbie, I have to

ask you something. Go back to that 10 year old just for a moment.

Years later, class reunions or whatever.

Did you ever bump into some of those fourth grade

classmates? Not

specifically, but similar

classmates within the same class and yes, and

knowing who I was then and the

decisions that I made and who I am now and yes. And

we're for example different levels of success, for example.

And there was even a period of time where I

was in a very humble, humble time

where I was. I pulled back and I was homeschooling my

kids for 20 years. That was part of it while I was running

businesses. And it was very easy to go to that place where

you could start comparing. But I'm only a right

and they are all that. And there, there was

that time but then now

in the, you know, the last decade or more, it's been very

different. It's like no, because I'm stepping into like you

said that my purpose is here and we're in seasons. That's

the other thing coming back to again your point about is it ever too

late? We're in different seasons. We're in different seasons of availability,

of potentiality if that's a word and

potential. And yeah. And so now I look back

and yeah, it'd be fun to actually to see those kids because of

that fact that I just stood up and I didn't let them

define me that it would be really fun to see them. But I

haven't right about this is that none of them would

remember that that's what they said

because again they were 10 years old too. And my point about that is

that people can impose moments upon you that

you can take for the rest of your life that were really kind of meaningless

to them but how they could influence somebody

else you in that case and that we have the

ability, we agree at any time to

take that control back and to

you know, in the Bible, you know, sin or heal thyself

kind of a Thing, you know, to take control of the moment and make better

decisions. I was just curious if any of them, if you had met some

of them and if any of them would have recalled it. If they did. I

don't think they would have been proud enough to bring it up, to. Be honest

with you. Debbie, you are fascinating

because the whole purpose of BEP talks is to speak

not just with women, but to speak with those of us who have

enough experience in our rear view mirror, enough education,

that that creates wisdom, education and experience. We now

have this wisdom that we should share and

that we all have something to share. And there are people

out there who need to hear that

message. Not everybody hears the same message the same way, but you find

yourself in the message and

in so doing you find the lesson to be learned.

You find the challenge to overcome.

And that is just one of the things that I love so much about BEP

talks. That we share beliefs, experiences and passions. And

we've done all of that today. And

I just want people to know that if you're out there and you're

experiencing any of that self

doubt, any of that, I'm not sure if

and I'm not sure why I feel the way I feel.

That's self doubt. That's second guessing. You are the exact

person who needs to be in touch with

Debbie Chen because she has the method to help

you get past that. And you can hear her passion for doing

that. And it comes from experience. And I think that is,

as we say, the school of hard knocks where we really

learn it hard and we learn it forever.

So I invite everybody. The contact information for Debbie

is going to be below. Debbie is. So,

Debbie, tell us you're offering a wonderful opportunity for people to speak with

you. Tell them about that. Yes, yes, yes. Just

as my, my gift to everyone

here and just in appreciation for this opportunity. Absolutely

everyone is welcome to go ahead and just

book a call with me and we just start to

get into those next steps. Especially we're coming into,

you know, the time of year always when we, we

need to be preparing for the next quarter, whatever that might be. Right, whatever that

might be. Absolutely. Yeah. And just back

to evolving, growing, continuing. Yeah, right, right,

right. And having, just having those next steps and. Yeah, and that's what we just

do in that conversation and connect. Good. So please go to the link below and

I want to stress again, if you're out there saying, should I, shouldn't I?

Yes, you should. You're the exact person. Stop self

guessing. Go direct to the source here. Debbie Chen, who's going to help

you get past all of that self dou. All of that second guessing that

too many of us, particularly women

and we could talk about that so much. Debbie, I think we will meet again

and talk about that. So, Debbie, thank you so

much for sharing that experience

at a very tender age and for saying how you used it

to really empower yourself and to take

a moment that was very painful, no doubt.

Continue

the leader that you have become and

that you're here to help others evolve into

their own greatness, how they can wake up,

show up, step up. So please just go to the link below,

everybody, and take Debbie up on her very generous

offer to share her time with you so you and she get to know

each other and decide how you should evolve together.

Debbie, thank you so much. This has been wonderful. Thank you. And I thank our

audience. Oh, my absolute pleasure. I thank the audience as

always because there's so much valuable lesson in this and

I would love to hear your story. I would love for you to come on

BEP talks and share your beliefs, experiences and

passions in this just very authentic let's chat

environment. So there's also a link for that below, please. I'd love to

see you on my calendar. And until then, as we always

say here at BEV Talks, may the best

always be yet to come. We believe it can.

Until the next time then. Thank you so much for watching and thank you

again, Debbie. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you all. Thank you. My

absolute pleasure. Bye for now.