SEASON 2, EPISODE 2: COLLABORATION

This episode is about how uncomfortable I used to feel about collaboration during my postdoc and how I started to lose the joy in things I used to love. I was lonely, but all I wanted was to be alone. With hindsight, I now know that these were the early signs of me falling into depression.

I revisit a journal entry I wrote in March 2014. This was the first journal entry into my 3rd year of my postdoc. I was still struggling to make progress on papers and I needed help.

I reflect on collaboration in academia, perfectionism, receiving help, not knowing what the rules were around conferences as a postdoc, and the early signs of depression (losing passion for things I normally loved doing) and social anxiety (being lonely, but always wanting to be alone).

Timestamps:

[00:00] Intro

[02:43] Journal entry

[06:21] Collaboration in academia

[07:54] Being ashamed about receiving help

[08:50] Underestimating your own contribution

[09:05] Navigating conferences

[11:22] Losing passion for things I normally love to do

[12:58] Being lonely, but just wanting to be alone

[13:33] Outro

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