Have you ever felt like you had a devil on one shoulder, constantly making trouble for you while you try to pursue your dreams?

Well, that's not far off from the truth. Dani Fake is a former therapist and depth life coach who teaches about "parts work"; in other words, how and why our personalities are made up of different "parts".

This episode is for anyone who struggles with an inner critic, imposter syndrome, shame spiraling or a cranky inner child. In other words, everyone! Understanding parts work can be the key to unlocking the emotional drama that comes up whenever we try to build businesses.

I promise, this is going to blow your mind!

Learn more about Dani

Download her guided imagery exercise

Find Dani on Instagram and Facebook

This is burning brightly, a podcast

for Christian moms who are feeling

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called to build a business and

share their light with the world.

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I'm Bonnie Wiscombe, a life

coach, mom, and entrepreneur.

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And I'm honored to be your guide as you

face this business building adventure full

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of highs, lows, and everything in between.

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This is where we help each

other find the courage to shine.

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Okay, friends, welcome

back to Burning Brightly.

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I am so thrilled to tell you

that I have my first guest today.

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I'm not a stranger to guests on podcasts

because of outnumbered, but this is

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my first one on Burning Brightly.

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So welcome to Danny Fake.

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Welcome.

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Thank you for coming to the podcast.

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Thank you.

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I'm delighted to be here.

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Yes.

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You guys are going to love Dani.

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She and I are in a mastermind together

and we really, really, have learned a

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lot from each other and I'm so excited

to dive in on what she is an expert in.

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Give us a little bit of a background

into your expertise, what we're going

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to talk about today and who you are.

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Yes.

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So who I am.

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So first of all, my name is Danny fake

and I like to joke cause people love

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to make fun of my last name and it

is fake just like it sounds F A K E.

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And I am a real person.

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I promise.

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So , currently I do, I have

my own practice where I do

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what I call depth coaching.

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So I am a former therapist, so I

had a therapy practice for 10 years

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and really worked helping people.

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to go deeper, to go deeper

into their inner world.

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And so I take that into

my coaching practice now.

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And I'm also a PCC, so a professional

certified coach with the ICF,

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and I'm an ICF coach mentor.

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So I do coach training in their coach

training program and also mentor coaches

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who want to get their ICF credential.

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And.

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All of this, much of this is

done within the context of what

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we're going to talk about today,

which is parts work or it's work.

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Okay.

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So first off you say parts work and

I think, okay, we're going to like

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take a car apart and figure out how

the engine works, but I know better

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because I have seen Danny's work and

I've been following you on Instagram.

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I love, love, love what you teach.

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And I love that you are kind of, it

sounds like you are trying to kind of

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be a little bit of a liaison between

that, that coaching world and the

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world of therapy, which I know there

is a little bit of overlap, but

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anything, obviously we coaches can

learn from the therapist to help us

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do our work better without, you know,

crossing too far into your territory.

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We love.

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So tell us about this.

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What is parts work?

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Why is it important?

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Yes.

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So Parks work is what you say.

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It's like a mechanic or a

car taking itself apart.

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I mean, that's not a bad metaphor, because

we're actually doing that with ourselves.

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So most of us tend to unconsciously

go through the world feeling

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like we are just one person.

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Like I'm just Danny.

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Right.

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And you're just Bonnie.

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But the reality is we all have

a whole bunch of different

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parts that live inside of us.

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So we're not actually one mind.

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We are of us.

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Right.

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of multiple minds.

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It is not multiple personality,

like we are not talking about

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dissociative identity disorder, but

everyone actually knows this already.

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So if you think about in our culture,

you hear, well, I have an angel

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on one shoulder telling me one

thing and I have a devil on another

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shoulder telling me another thing.

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Or you'll say, Oh, there's a

part of me that really wants

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to go to this holiday party.

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And there's a part of me that just wants

to stay home curled up with the book.

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Right?

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So it's, we already use the language.

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We already talk about it.

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If anyone has seen the movie inside

out from Pixar, that is a beautiful

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representation of parts work.

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And so it already exists in our culture.

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And so what, what parts work does in

terms of my work and bring it into

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the coaching practice is making what's

already true, how we already talk.

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Conscious making ourselves aware, who

are the key players for each of us?

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How are they helping us in our lives?

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How are they maybe getting in the way of

what we're really wanting to accomplish?

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How can they help us to be

more emotionally regulated,

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build better relationships?

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So it's really becoming conscious

of what already exists with all the

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different parts that live inside of you.

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Okay.

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That is a beautiful explanation.

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And I think for a lot of us will make

us realize, okay, we're not crazy.

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This is totally normal.

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We all have voices in our head.

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I really resonated with

that movie when I saw it.

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I was like, I get that.

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I got joy and I got fear

and I got all the things.

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Yes.

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And disgust and anger and sadness.

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Yes.

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And sometimes they're all

talking at the same time.

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You're like, okay, I don't even know what

to think about this situation because you

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have all these things going on at once.

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And you know, when I first heard

about this work from you, actually.

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A friend introduced me to you.

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I thought, okay, this resonates a lot

with me and not just me personally, but

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in my work with clients as well, they'll

say something else that I just don't

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know why I can't get rid of this thought.

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I don't know why I can't move past this.

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And I'm thinking, I think there's more

there that we don't fully understand.

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Right.

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So let's dive in a little bit.

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Tell us about these different parts,

these different roles inside of our mind.

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What do they look like?

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So the first I feel like I need to

give a nod to the origin of parts

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work from in the therapeutic world.

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And so it is based on internal family

systems, which was a methodology

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developed by Richard Schwartz like

40 years ago, and his work with it

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really is a therapeutic model of

going in and working with traumas.

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And it has been an incredibly powerful

evidence based healing modality

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for people in the therapy world.

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So I just feel like I need to

give a nod out because that

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certainly is the foundation of it.

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The way that I talk about, parts

work is there's really three core

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aspects of all of us, and the

first one are your protectors.

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So we all have allies so that

those protector parts of us that

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are like, yes, I can help you.

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I'm gonna help you get your job done.

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, our ally protectors are what allowed

you and I to show up here today and

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be recording this podcast, right?

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Because we've got parts of

us that know how to make that

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happen, how to manage our lives.

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We also have protectors that are

commonly referred to as saboteurs, or

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maybe underminers, or people who maybe

undermine the things we're trying to do.

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These are the ones that are typically

a little bit more problematic, things

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that we can get frustrated with.

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So we have these protector parts that

are both allies and saboteurs, so

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both the challenging and the helpers,

and then they're called protectors

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because they are protecting something.

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So the second type of part is, I refer

to it as the little, internal family

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systems refers to it as the exile,

but it's the younger inner child, the

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more vulnerable parts of ourselves

that we don't like to hang out with

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because they hold a lot of our pain.

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And so we tend to disown them,

like we'll literally tend to like

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push them down the basement stairs

or push them into the corner.

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Like we don't want to be engaged

with those littles because they're

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holding the pure pain, from just

being a human being in this world.

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so that's the second type of part is

a little, and I, I would love at some

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point how this fits in to actually

talk about how do you work with the

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littles in coaching because the littles.

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a really important part of overcoming

some of the just challenges we have

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as humans, challenges we have as we're

running businesses, having jobs, like,

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so we've got to deal with the littles.

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And then the third kind of

part is The authentic self.

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I call it the authentic self.

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You may refer to it as your higher self,

your divine self, your essential self.

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Like there's a bunch of different

ways to refer to it, but it is

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the part of us that is, it holds

our capacity for self compassion.

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It is our wisest part.

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It is the part that holds our

deepest inner knowing and it is calm.

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It is curious and it is compassionate.

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And it is like our deepest inner leader.

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Oh, when you talk about that

authentic self, I just get this image

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of like the future me, the really

wise me who just wants to love me

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and say, it's going to be okay.

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I see the future.

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Like I know what's coming.

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It's going to be all right.

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And that's kind of what we try to

channel a lot in, . In coaching sessions,

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when we're going into something really

scary, like building a business, right?

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Yes.

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Often referred to in the coaching

practices or coaching worlds

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as the inner leader, like our

deepest, strongest inner leader.

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And that's exactly what it is.

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And you know, the reason

life is even challenging.

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It's like, well, if you have

an inner leader, just like.

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Let it lead all the time.

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. Well, unfortunately, some people I wish,

like, would she just be a little more

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bossy and just like, take over . But the

reality is that's just not how it works.

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Our inner leaders, they, they

just, they, they sit back and

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they're always available to us.

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Mm-Hmm.

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. But it is our protector parts that

tend to be more aggressive and will

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jump into the driver's seat and our

authentic self will be like, okay.

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You know, you go ahead and

do what you need to do.

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I'm here when you need me.

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Interesting.

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So let's talk about the protector for

a second because that's one I haven't

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really encountered a lot before.

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What, what is it typically protecting?

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Are we talking about like

some of that hidden pain or

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what, what's going on there?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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It's pretty.

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So if you think of it as just a

visual parts, like actual people,

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like actual parts of you imagine, you

know, kind of a guard part of you, a

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protector part and behind that part.

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Is literally a child, like for

you, it's probably going to be a

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little girl, a younger version of

yourself that is holding pure pain.

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And when I say pure pain, that's,

Martha Beck, I don't know if you're

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familiar with her as a coach.

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She talks about clean pain and dirty pain.

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And so, you know, dirty pain can be the

pain that we tend to just generate with

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our thoughts over and over and over again.

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Like, oh, he's never going to love me.

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Oh, I'm never going to

have a relationship.

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Or, oh, this is never good.

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Like, you're, you're, you're

constantly reigniting the pain.

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We call that dirty pain because

that's actually driven by a part.

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Right.

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Versus clean pain is our littles

are holding just the pure fear.

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It might be in that example,

it might be something like,

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like I'm never going to belong.

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I'm never going to be

a part of a community.

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I am going to be rejected and abandoned.

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And there's a pure fear

that is very human.

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You know, he, it can be straight,

straight up primal human fear.

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And it can also come from trauma,

whatever your past traumas are.

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So it's just, and you're funny.

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I don't know if you notice

like my voice slows down when

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I talk about the little, right.

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Cause it's just like,

it's such a precious.

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Vulnerable tender part of us because

of that precious vulnerability.

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We have a whole host of protectors

that keep her from coming to the

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surface so that we don't have to

feel what that part of us is holding.

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Yeah.

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And when you talk about that little, I

think, Oh, that's why it feels the way

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it does when I leave a therapy session

where I need to go like, kind of calmer

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back down and put her, put her back away.

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Yes.

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Exactly.

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Open up.

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And you're like, Oh, I actually

can't function like this.

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Yeah.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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We don't, most of us don't

go there willingly a lot.

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Right.

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Exactly.

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And that's where I get so passionate

about this work, because if we were

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willing to learn the skills of how

to go there safely, how to go there

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without retraumatizing ourselves, it

actually gives us access to the best

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parts of ourselves that can create

whatever we want to in this world.

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Right.

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It's just.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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We need to have the

skills to go there more.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And then that protector maybe doesn't have

to work so hard because a hundred percent

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that little is a little more accessible.

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Okay.

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All right.

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So let's talk about that

little, a little bit.

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And you mentioned understanding how to

deal with that in a coaching scenario.

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How can you help us understand that?

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Yeah, so, so in internal family systems,

when they talk about the exile or

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the little, part of the goal in the

therapeutic model is that you are doing

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what's called unburdening the little.

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You're actually getting into their

traumas, into their stories, letting them

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tell that trauma story so that it can be

healed and then integrated into the whole,

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so that's, that's the therapy version.

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The, mistake I've seen, a lot of

coaches make, especially as I've

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started teaching, parts work or people

that are new to learning parts work

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is that because there's this line that

they're like, coaching is not therapy.

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Then there's a sense of like, well, I

can't have anything to do with the little,

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because she's holding all of the trauma.

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I'm not supposed to get into the story.

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And I push on that and.

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What I mean by that is I still never

work with my clients or encourage my,

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my coaches to, to get into the little

story, but if you overshoot it and you

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just pretend a little doesn't exist

at all, that's when you, you don't

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have any space for healing or growth.

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And so in the coaching world.

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The mantra is you acknowledge the

existence of the little, I'm not

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going to talk to her about her story.

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I'm not going to talk

to her about her pain.

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Like if I was coaching you, I'm not

going to coach you into the, the, the

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trauma story of your little, right?

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That's going to be your therapist's

job, but I am going to encourage

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you in whatever scenario you're

bringing to me to acknowledge it.

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Who is the little underneath this

that has the vulnerable emotion?

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Who has the fear?

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Who has the shame?

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Who has the, like, who is that?

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Can we get you to just turn to

her and acknowledge her existence?

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That's step one, acknowledge she exists.

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Step two is nurturing.

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That you're not hearing the story,

you're not solving the trauma, you

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are nurturing, meaning I'm just

offering you gentle, tender energy

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and letting you know you're not alone.

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I'm acknowledging you and

I'm sending you so much love.

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I'm not doing anything.

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I'm not fixing any problems.

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I'm simply being with you and

letting you know you exist.

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I'm here.

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And it's okay right now.

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Oh, that is beautiful.

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And I love that distinction.

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Like, we're not going to dive in

because we're not qualified to go into

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the trauma, but we can ignore her.

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She is sometimes crying very loudly for

assistance and help and causing a lot

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of issues behind the, behind the scene.

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And it's so interesting because I talk

about business all the time and you

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don't think there's a lot of emotional

work to be done around business, but

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boy, is there ever, Oh, I have no

idea what you're talking about, buddy.

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We actually did a social media

post about this recently.

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There was a coach who was like, well, I

just don't see a lot of, you know, need

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to really dive deep on the emotional

side of things when building a business.

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I'm like, I do.

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Is it just me?

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I know it's not me because I have clients

coming to me saying the same thing.

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I want to get started with this thing.

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And I just.

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I don't feel worthy or I start to cry

every time or something is coming up.

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And, my next question for you was going

to be, how do we, how do we allow for

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more self compassion with ourselves?

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But I think you already hit on it.

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It's just acknowledging that she's there.

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Yeah, 100%.

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And you know, the metaphor that I'll

use with my clients and so say this to

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your listeners as well is to imagine

if you were to walk up and see a

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small child sitting on the edge of a

sidewalk, and that child was crying,

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maybe they're holding a stuffed

animal, you know, what would you do?

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Most of us would, well, actually the first

impulse would be, okay, what's going on?

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How do I fix this?

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Right?

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Where's the parent?

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Right?

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Where's the parent?

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Right?

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But aside from that, assuming

there's no fixing, you're

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not fixing, what would we do?

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Oh my gosh, we would go up

and sit next to that child.

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We would put our arm around that child.

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We would comfort that child.

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We would let them cry.

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We would let them just, Hey, I'm here.

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I got you.

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Right.

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So that they can, they can get

themselves regulated and then, you

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know, knowing how to move forward.

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I define self compassion as the

gentle nurturing energy that

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we offer to our parts of self.

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In this context, we're talking about

offering gentle nurturing energy to

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the little, the little sitting on the

sidewalk, but we also offer gentle

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nurturing energy to our parts.

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Like we have an inner critic that is

just eviscerating us all the time.

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Most of us want to be like, Oh

my God, get her off the bus.

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Yeah.

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Shut up.

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I'll get on a soapbox.

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There's a lot of people that say,

like, just shut up your inner critic.

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No, you actually build a

relationship with your inner critic.

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You offer it compassion.

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You offer it understanding.

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You get to, you get curious about

what's going on with this critic.

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What is it really trying to do here?

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And you're still offering tender,

nurturing energy to that part as well.

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As well as the part that it's, the little

that it's protecting that's behind it.

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Yes.

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Oh my goodness.

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This is reminding me of an experience

I had not long ago where I made

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a mistake and all, all this.

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Junk came up.

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There was shame and there was fear

and there was sadness and everything.

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And just, I was actually

really grateful for it.

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It felt awful.

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But as a coach, I was like,

what is happening here?

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And it allowed me some of

that insight into my brain.

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It's like, okay, I've got somebody

here who's really struggling

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with the criticism I'm getting.

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And I'm criticizing myself on top of it.

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I've got another person here who

person got another part of me.

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Who's like.

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You're a terrible person, you know,

and another part that's like, oh, but

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it's going to be okay, you know, just

the comforting and so interesting

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to just kind of pull that apart.

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And I think that when

we make the mistake of.

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Just forging ahead and maybe that's the

protector's job as we just go, just,

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just push it aside and forge ahead.

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We really run the risk of that causing us

some issues in the future, as most of us

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have attested to when we have childhood

stuff that hasn't been dealt with.

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Because when you're most of our protector

parts, they only have one agenda.

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They are very tunnel vision

like that driven push ahead,

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like just, just push past it.

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That's her job.

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For those of us who have those, but

that is her, her sole job in life

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is just , let's just push past it.

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But the reality is we can't let

ideally, we don't want any single

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protector part of us to run our lives

because they're so near they've got

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so much narrow, like tunnel focus.

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We really want to have our inner

wisdom be what directs our lives.

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We can use those parts, those

protector parts to help.

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execute and orchestrate our lives,

but we can't let them be the only

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thing that, that runs our life.

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Right.

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And a lot of people, do

because it's so unconscious.

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Like we, we, most people who can

tell you, you learn this concept,

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we think we're just one person.

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So this whole process is

very, very unconscious.

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Yes.

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And I have found personally, it

has been so freeing to acknowledge

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those parts and go, this one

needs a little bit of love today.

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This one needs a little bit of,

or this one needs to be driven.

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We got to go do some stuff today and

we'll deal with this a little bit later.

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If we don't have time for

that to come up today.

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Later on.

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We'll pull that up.

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So let's go back to that.

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, authentic self for just a second.

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Describe what she looks like to me.

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I want to understand

her a little bit better.

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Yeah.

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Well, it's funny.

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As you were just talking,

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I'm like, I wonder if Bonnie

realizes she's talking out of

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her authentic self right now.

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And what I need is you were able to

say, well, I've got this part that

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is feeling like, Oh my gosh, I can't

believe that, that you did that.

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I've got another part.

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That's like , beating yourself up.

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You've got another part

that's saying, Oh, it's okay.

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The part of you or the aspect of

you that's able to see all the

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parts at play is an observer, right?

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You're kind of away from yourself and

you're looking at all of the players

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and it is that observer energy that is a

starting place for your authentic self.

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When you're able to

like, not be the shame,

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not be the driver, but actually

recognize, Oh, I see that

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part of me that feels shame.

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And I see that driver.

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So it's that observer

part is where to start.

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That just, that's the very

beginning going beyond that.

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When we really want to tap into the

fullness of who our inner leader

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is, our deepest wisdom, that full

authentic self, you are really looking

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at, IFS and I use this as well,

or sorry, internal family systems.

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And then I use it as well, has

what are called the eight C's.

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So it's eight qualities that start

with the letter C to let you know,

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if you are tapped into your highest

self, into your authentic self, the

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most important, this is my opinion,

the most important three, easy to

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remember three things and eight things,

is calm, curious, and compassionate.

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So if you can lean into that observer

energy and then check in with

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yourself and say, do I feel calm?

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Am I able to be curious

about either what's going on?

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Am I able to be curious

about this part of me?

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Am I able to be curious about this

person that is driving me crazy?

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Cause we cannot be judgmental and curious

at the same time, whether it's ourselves

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or others, like you can't do both.

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So can you be curious?

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And then can you bring compassion?

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Can you truly bring compassion to both

yourself and to others when you can

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start to play with those three energies

to start with, that's how you know,

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you can tap into your authentic self.

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Oh, that is fascinating.

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And I'm going to put those on a

sticky note and slap them on my

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computer and my bathroom mirror.

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And what's interesting is.

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Those three are actually the emotions

that I tried to drive myself from

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in coaching others as well, right?

465

That's what we're taught

is to be a good coach.

466

You're holding space for someone and you

are calm and curious and compassionate.

467

There's no judgment.

468

There's no trying to change their story.

469

There's no, you know, trying to

figure out what's wrong with them.

470

And if no problem, right?

471

Yes.

472

Yes.

473

If only we could do that to ourselves.

474

So, so when we're coaching

others, it looks like that when

475

we coach ourselves the same.

476

Yes.

477

Yep.

478

That's exactly right.

479

And that's, you know, when we're talking

about parts work, when I'm working

480

with my clients, the most important

thing and the first thing that I

481

encourage them to do is to find the

connection to their authentic self.

482

I have a guided imagery that I either give

us a recording or I walk them through,

483

on the call and then we talk about it.

484

It's, you know, it's, it's actually

just as building a beautiful

485

scene where you're actually you're

regulating your nervous system.

486

, I mean, to be calm, curious,

and compassionate, you have to

487

have a regulated nervous system.

488

And so anything you can do to get your

nervous system regulated is going to

489

give you access to your authentic self.

490

So what, whatever the process is,

whether it's the guided imagery or

491

having a conversation or getting my

clients out in nature, literally

492

nature is such a great regulator.

493

So that they have access to that

authentic self because guess

494

where our self compassion lies.

495

Our source of self compassion

is our authentic self.

496

We're not having our parts.

497

Our inner critic is not going

to offer self compassion, right?

498

Right.

499

Our shame part is not going

to offer self compassion.

500

Like the source of our self compassion

comes from our authentic self.

501

So the first step, and it's a

lifelong ongoing step, is to know

502

and connect with your authentic self.

503

Yes.

504

Yes.

505

Okay.

506

That is amazing.

507

And I think you said you can offer this

guided imagery to our listeners, right?

508

You've got to download for that.

509

Awesome.

510

Okay.

511

Yeah.

512

We will put the link to

that in the show notes.

513

But I also want to ask you, let's

shift into business here for a second.

514

Cause we always talk about

that on this podcast.

515

How can this parts work and, and

really tuning into the authentic self?

516

How can that help us with all these

negative emotions that are coming up

517

while building a business like fear and

embarrassment and all these other things?

518

So there's a couple of different ways.

519

When you're an entrepreneur during

your own thing, think about how

520

many safety nets are not there.

521

Right.

522

Like we don't, we don't have teams,

we don't have corporate, we don't

523

have HR, we don't have benefits

524

so the, the safety structures

that corporations offer us

525

entrepreneurship does not.

526

And so it triggers a primal, like not

just what's my trauma, but a primal level.

527

Am I safe?

528

Because I had to put myself out there.

529

I actually have to be seen it.

530

If I'm seen and rejected, I will die.

531

Right.

532

And that's kind of, that's not logical,

but that's what happens primally.

533

And so there's something unique

about having your own business that

534

just activates deep level, primal

emotions of your littles that gets

535

brought up in ways that nothing,

not many other things bring it up.

536

Yeah.

537

Cause you're out on your own.

538

All of a sudden

539

when you're working in business,

the first thing you want to do is

540

build the relationship with your

authentic self, because guess what?

541

Building a business.

542

It's not easy.

543

It's got some challenges to it, well,

if we want to have the wisdom to know

544

how to handle those challenges, if we

want to have the courage to know how

545

to handle those challenges, we have to

be able to access our authentic self.

546

That's where the answers lie.

547

So the business that we're

all wanting to build.

548

That wisdom of what that is actually

lives within our authentic self.

549

So that's the first step is you have to be

able to connect with that part of you to

550

know what it is I'm even driving toward,

well, then enters all the protector parts,

551

so fear comes up.

552

Imposter syndrome comes up.

553

Inner critics come up.

554

Perfectionism comes up.

555

Like you could, we can make a whole

list of things that come up when

556

you're trying to build a business,

well, if you're not aware of parts

557

work, What tends to happen is we

just think, Oh, well, I've just been,

558

hijacked, or I'm just in this place.

559

I'm just in this place of who am I?

560

I'm an imposter.

561

I don't know enough.

562

God, that person knows

so much more than me.

563

Let me just compare myself to them.

564

Like, this is never going to, I just,

I'm an awful, I can't never, right?

565

Like we had, we go down this spiral.

566

And if we think that's just us, that it's

going down that spiral, how do we stop it?

567

Yeah.

568

One thing I've noticed, too, with clients

is that sometimes they think that's the

569

sign that they're not supposed to do this.

570

And I'm like, no, no,

no, no, this is normal.

571

Yeah.

572

Well, and what's interesting is

that it probably is the job of that

573

part of them to get them to stop.

574

Because they're actually afraid

of something much bigger.

575

And so if they can convince that person,

like, Oh, I'm going to send them all

576

these negative feelings and they'll

think, Oh, this just isn't for me.

577

I'm just going to go

back to my comfort zone.

578

Then I have done my job,

says the part, right?

579

But the authentic self is going.

580

Not true.

581

This is going to come

back and haunt you later.

582

You're going to wish that you, you're

going to wish that you pushed through, but

583

I'm just going to let you work through it.

584

That's right.

585

So when you recognize when you're

going down that downward spiral, , how

586

parts where it can help this is if you

recognize, oh, that's actually not me.

587

It's a part of me.

588

That's not all of me.

589

And if you can start to get that

separation and go, wow, look at her

590

spiral down the, look at her go.

591

She is flipping out right now.

592

Like, let's let her flip out.

593

And then this is where the inner work

that comes is that we don't just let

594

her flip out and then just move on

because she'll come back stronger.

595

Right.

596

But what we do is in from the place

of our authentic self, we build

597

a relationship with that person.

598

We build a relationship with the part

of us that flips out or is in so much

599

fear or the imposter, whatever it is.

600

We build a relationship.

601

We understand to take the imposter,

for example, we would ask her questions

602

like, what is it you're afraid of?

603

Okay.

604

So if that person thinks we don't know

what we're talking about, what then?

605

What's the concern?

606

What's the worst thing that can happen?

607

So you're really getting

to know that part.

608

And then your authentic self

in building the relationship.

609

Just think about what happens if

you're by yourself and you're afraid.

610

And then someone comes along and

says, Hey, I'm here with you.

611

Your fear goes down.

612

It's the same thing, but

you're doing it for yourself.

613

You're saying, Hey, imposter part.

614

I, Oh, I see you.

615

I see you're so afraid of that.

616

You don't know what you're doing.

617

I'm here with you.

618

And then the imposter relaxes.

619

And then when the imposter relaxes, you

know, have access to the wisdom of your

620

authentic self about how to move forward.

621

Yes, what I've noticed about that is

that I feel like the critic or the, or

622

the fear based part or whatever it is

that's sounding the alarm, they just want

623

to make sure you're paying attention.

624

100%.

625

Right?

626

And when you ignore it and walk away,

they're only going to get louder.

627

Yep, they sure are.

628

It's stopping and saying, oh, I see you.

629

This is scary sometimes, isn't it?

630

Yes.

631

This does make me feel like an imposter.

632

That makes sense.

633

Yes.

634

And, and then you acknowledge

they're there and that you

635

hear them and you're going to.

636

Be on alert for it, right?

637

And then they can calm down a little bit.

638

Okay, I sounded the alarm.

639

I've done my job.

640

Yeah, exactly.

641

Acknowledgement is, when you're doing

parts work, acknowledging your parts,

642

whether it's the protector parts or

the littles, acknowledgement is one

643

of the best things that you can do.

644

Quit pushing it away.

645

Acknowledge its existence.

646

Yes.

647

And you know, I, I've had seen so many

examples of loved ones in my life who

648

just have not had the tools necessary

to acknowledge these different parts.

649

And it's become destructive to

them because they don't have the

650

tools to handle these emotions

or, or the trauma or whatever.

651

And, they just keep shoving it down and

then it manifests in really harmful ways.

652

And it's so sad to see, but I love, love,

love that you have shared this with us.

653

You are.

654

Such a genius that I could talk

to you about this all day long.

655

I love it.

656

I think it's so fascinating and I

hope it has been helpful to all of

657

you listening to just acknowledge

those parts of you and to acknowledge

658

that they're doing their job.

659

They're, they're there to

protect you and to help you

660

watch out for those scary things.

661

Yes.

662

Yes.

663

Thank you.

664

Thank you.

665

That's so great.

666

Okay.

667

Danny, before we let you go, please

share with everyone where they can

668

find you, what social media you're, on

and where your website is, where we

669

can get more of this parts work stuff.

670

Yeah.

671

So my website is Danny fake.

672

com it's D A N I F A K E.

673

com.

674

And then on both Instagram it's the

same handle, which is Danny fake 44.

675

And I'm also on Facebook by my name.

676

Awesome.

677

So we'll put the links to all that,

including to your, freebie that you

678

have offered us in this show notes.

679

Yes.

680

So thank you so much for that.

681

And, I, I'm telling you, I'm gonna do

more of this and we'll probably have

682

you on again because it feels so deep.

683

Like we could just learn

all day about this.

684

Thank you so much for coming.

685

Yes,

686

thank you.