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LIVE! How to Excel in Your Financial Mindset | Fishbowl
Episode 116th November 2021 • Enjoy More 30s: Family Finance • Joseph P. Okaly
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Excelling in your money mindset doesn't mean a big net worth. It means putting yourself in a position to make life most enjoyable to you, however you define that.

  • The goal for today is really just for you to walk away from tonight with a better understanding of your current money mindset, and what you can change to better excel when it comes to that mindset. (03:23)
  • I would say a lot of the finance stuff that's the loudest like if somebody is shouting at you through the TV and hitting a buzzer, they're probably not the person you want to be taking advice from. (13:56)
  • So if you're wanting to be in a good place down the road, you're probably wanting to save, I would say at least 10% of your gross income. (29:59)

Quote for the event. "So excelling in your money mindset doesn't mean a big net worth. Excelling in your money mindset means putting yourself in a position to make life most enjoyable to you. However, you may individually define that." (19:32)

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Transcripts

Voiceover Audio:

Welcome to the EnjoyMore30s Family Finance

Voiceover Audio:

podcast. The only podcast dedicated to making life more

Voiceover Audio:

enjoyable for young families by hitting on the financial topics

Voiceover Audio:

that tend to weigh on us, stress us out, and distract our focus

Voiceover Audio:

from simply enjoying life.

Joseph Okaly:

Hello, and welcome to the EnjoyMore30s Family

Joseph Okaly:

Finance podcast. Today we have a special live recording that

Joseph Okaly:

we're going to share with you called How To Excel In Your

Joseph Okaly:

Financial Mindset, which was broadcast live across the

Joseph Okaly:

Fishbowl app. So instead of a normal episode today, you can

Joseph Okaly:

hear this recording. It has a great Q&A, a lot of back and

Joseph Okaly:

forth. So I thought it would have a lot of valuable

Joseph Okaly:

information in it that I wanted to share. I must apologize a

Joseph Okaly:

little bit for the audio, with the back and forth between both

Joseph Okaly:

of the co-hosts, myself, and Jade Rose, it does get a little

Joseph Okaly:

choppy at times, but I tried to smooth it out as much as

Joseph Okaly:

possible. So without further ado, enjoy, and I hope you very

Joseph Okaly:

much get something out of this episode.

Jade Rose:

Great. So we've got a good crowd here. So I think

Jade Rose:

let's get started. So thank you, everyone for joining us this

Jade Rose:

evening for the How To Excel In Your Financial Mindset Live. My

Jade Rose:

name is Jade Rose, and I run the financial advisor Fishbowl all

Jade Rose:

the way from the other side of the pond. And we're very lucky

Jade Rose:

to have Joe Okaly with us this evening. So Joe is a financial

Jade Rose:

advisor, CFP holder, podcaster, and father of two children. As I

Jade Rose:

said, we'll be opening up the floor to questions in the second

Jade Rose:

half of the Live, which will run for 60 minutes. And if you'd

Jade Rose:

like to ask any questions, use the button in the bottom right.

Joseph Okaly:

So Joe, thank you so much for joining us this

Joseph Okaly:

evening before we jump into the topics, could you just tell us a

Joseph Okaly:

bit more about yourself? Yeah, absolutely Jade, thank you so

Joseph Okaly:

much for being here. First off, for taking the time to to be

Joseph Okaly:

involved in this event today. I have a lot of faith in in

Joseph Okaly:

spreading this message. And I really appreciate you being a

Joseph Okaly:

part of it. And as I kind of mentioned to you before

Joseph Okaly:

everybody here jumped on, you just have the most beautiful

Joseph Okaly:

accent I've ever heard. And unfortunately, they're gonna

Joseph Okaly:

have to listen to my North Jersey coffee accent for the

Joseph Okaly:

majority of today. But I definitely appreciate everything

Joseph Okaly:

that that you're contributing. Like Jade said, my name is Joe

Joseph Okaly:

Okaly, I'm a certified financial planner CFP. For those of you

Joseph Okaly:

out here who may have heard of a CPA designation, that's, that's

Joseph Okaly:

more well known for accountants. This is kind of like the highest

Joseph Okaly:

equivalent designation that I can receive in my own personal

Joseph Okaly:

field. I'm 35 years old. I've been an advisor, though, for 14

Joseph Okaly:

years already. So basically my entire adult life. I run the

Joseph Okaly:

wealth management firm that I'm associated with. And I also have

Joseph Okaly:

a podcast trying to help young families specifically with their

Joseph Okaly:

money. And that's called EnjoyMore30s Family Finance. So

Joseph Okaly:

this is by far my biggest professional passion is getting

Joseph Okaly:

this message out there to people out like you that can help, you

Joseph Okaly:

know be helped by this. And, you know, so that's really where I

Joseph Okaly:

focus more most of my professional energy. I've been a

Joseph Okaly:

guest on a number of other podcasts, a couple in the UK, a

Joseph Okaly:

number of other ones here in the US. As Jade did mention, I am

Joseph Okaly:

married. And I have two just fantastic kids. My wife, Lauren

Joseph Okaly:

was a teacher. She changed careers, to focus more on her

Joseph Okaly:

passion. So we're gonna definitely talk more about that

Joseph Okaly:

later on today. And yeah, so like Jade said that the goal for

Joseph Okaly:

today is really just to, you know, for you to walk away from

Joseph Okaly:

tonight with a better understanding of your current

Joseph Okaly:

money mindset, and what you can change to better excel when it

Joseph Okaly:

comes to that mindset. And it may sound weird, like we have a

Joseph Okaly:

relationship with money, but money really greatly affects so

Joseph Okaly:

many aspects of our lives. We literally have this weird

Joseph Okaly:

relationship with it that just kind of forms. And for some

Joseph Okaly:

people money can mean freedom, but to most people really the

Joseph Okaly:

vast majority of people that I come across and it's really even

Joseph Okaly:

the people that have money, which is the funniest thing, it

Joseph Okaly:

can mean anxiety. It affects what job you decide to take,

Joseph Okaly:

what goals you set for yourself, so you know in many ways, the

Joseph Okaly:

way you're you live your life and the happiness that you're

Joseph Okaly:

ultimately able to derive from it. So needless to say this

Joseph Okaly:

money mindset is, is super, super important. So Jade, if you

Joseph Okaly:

wouldn't mind if you could run through kind of how we're set up

Joseph Okaly:

to do this for today, the sections that we kind of have

Joseph Okaly:

organized tonight's session into?

Jade Rose:

Yeah, absolutely. So while there are so many things

Jade Rose:

that that I have just picked out from, from your introduction

Jade Rose:

that I'll definitely touch on later. Such an interesting

Jade Rose:

background. So how this is gonna work. We have three main topics

Jade Rose:

we're going to discuss with you tonight. It's how your money

Jade Rose:

mindset got you to where you are. It's where your mindset can

Jade Rose:

take you. And then three questions that our audience can

Jade Rose:

use to start excelling in their own money mindset. Before we

Jade Rose:

jump into the first one, there's something I wanted to ask you so

Jade Rose:

something I've seen on your socials on your website is

Jade Rose:

"making life more enjoyable". And I think it'd be quite

Jade Rose:

interesting to explain what you mean by that, before we dive

Jade Rose:

into the practical steps of building a healthy mindset.

Joseph Okaly:

Sure, yeah, absolutely. And this is really

Joseph Okaly:

the the focus of how we try to, you know, put our all of our

Joseph Okaly:

energies when we're working with people, as advisors. And a lot

Joseph Okaly:

of this we're actually going to touch on touch on as, as the

Joseph Okaly:

conversation goes. But essentially, you know, money is

Joseph Okaly:

something that a lot of people focus on the specific

Joseph Okaly:

investments or the specific insurance, all these very

Joseph Okaly:

specific details, but the whole point of all of that is for us

Joseph Okaly:

to really, if all that's where it needs to be, then we don't

Joseph Okaly:

have to worry about that anymore. And we can just focus

Joseph Okaly:

on making life as enjoyable as possible. So you know, I think

Joseph Okaly:

that leads perfectly into kind of how we got our mindset here

Joseph Okaly:

to where it is today. And for me, the fact that I know

Joseph Okaly:

anything when it comes to finances was completely just

Joseph Okaly:

dumb luck. A professor in college brought in this person

Joseph Okaly:

called a financial planner, which I had never heard of, to

Joseph Okaly:

any extent before. And I became interested and wound up pursuing

Joseph Okaly:

that kind of a career. And because of that these financial

Joseph Okaly:

planning methods and resources that we're going to talk to you

Joseph Okaly:

tonight about, were always accessible to me. What I used

Joseph Okaly:

for other people in their planning, their retirement,

Joseph Okaly:

their investments, their insurance, whatever, whatever it

Joseph Okaly:

may have been, I just naturally did that for myself. And when I

Joseph Okaly:

spoke to, you know, other people, especially young

Joseph Okaly:

families out there, I became readily conscious of this

Joseph Okaly:

complete dumb luck that I had received and started to value it

Joseph Okaly:

a lot more highly, because I didn't feel anxiety around money

Joseph Okaly:

or anything, because my job literally trained me to handle

Joseph Okaly:

it myself. And without that, I would have just been lost. So

Joseph Okaly:

when I when I saw that, and you know, when everybody's growing

Joseph Okaly:

up or going through school, and I'm guessing nobody out there

Joseph Okaly:

had a comprehensive financial literacy coursework in school.

Joseph Okaly:

I'm guessing that no one even had an in comprehensive

Joseph Okaly:

financial literacy coursework in school. And, you know, that's

Joseph Okaly:

the norm from everyone. I've spoken to Jade, I don't know

Joseph Okaly:

about you over over in the UK. But certainly in the US, there's

Joseph Okaly:

there's almost no financial literacy that's taught in any of

Joseph Okaly:

the schools.

Jade Rose:

Yeah, it's the same over here. It's non existent.

Joseph Okaly:

Yeah, I mean, the line I always say is, you know,

Joseph Okaly:

Shakespeare is well and good, but to be or, you know, not to

Joseph Okaly:

be doesn't really help to buy or not to pay or to spend or not to

Joseph Okaly:

spend, or to save or not to save. And, you know, the truth

Joseph Okaly:

of it all is that you were everybody listening here was

Joseph Okaly:

probably unprepared coming out of school when it came to your

Joseph Okaly:

money mindset. I was unprepared coming out of school when it

Joseph Okaly:

came to my money mindset. You know, essentially everybody out

Joseph Okaly:

there is unprepared when it comes to the money mindset. And

Joseph Okaly:

society for some reason says we can't talk about money, it's too

Joseph Okaly:

taboo. So I can go online and go on Facebook and for some reason,

Joseph Okaly:

posting pictures of yourself in your bathing suit on the beach

Joseph Okaly:

is perfectly acceptable all the time. But asking someone

Joseph Okaly:

publicly on social media, "hey, I got a raise, what should I do

Joseph Okaly:

with this money? Or I just had a second kid, how do I know if I

Joseph Okaly:

have enough life insurance?", that seems to be you know, too

Joseph Okaly:

taboo, that has to be, you know, kept behind locked doors. And so

Joseph Okaly:

we're in a position where we're not really educated at all, we

Joseph Okaly:

can't really publicly ask about it. And so the last resource

Joseph Okaly:

resource is going to the industry that specializes it so,

Joseph Okaly:

you know, Jade and myself, you know, we're in this industry,

Joseph Okaly:

that is, you know, somewhat confusing, intimidating. We seem

Joseph Okaly:

to like to build these jargon walls to make it as

Joseph Okaly:

uncomfortable as possible for people, you know, like wealth

Joseph Okaly:

management, for instance, is the easy one. Wealth Management

Joseph Okaly:

implies you already have wealth, to manage, which most people

Joseph Okaly:

don't, and people who actually do have wealth probably had

Joseph Okaly:

someone help them get that wealth at some point in their

Joseph Okaly:

lives. So you know, more appropriate titling would be,

Joseph Okaly:

you know, I want to have wealth management, or I don't want to

Joseph Okaly:

be poor management. Unfortunately, I don't have the

Joseph Okaly:

power to change those social norms. But that seems to be the

Joseph Okaly:

case. So you know, most people come out of school with 1, not

Joseph Okaly:

having likely said any financial education, and 2, feeling like

Joseph Okaly:

they really have no comfortable resources, at least to reach out

Joseph Okaly:

to. And despite all that, though, we all stumble into our

Joseph Okaly:

own mindsets about money. We come out of school, and we have

Joseph Okaly:

you know, some form of relationship with it at this

Joseph Okaly:

point. We weren't taught it but it just kind of subconsciously

Joseph Okaly:

developed and maybe some of that we pick up from looking at our

Joseph Okaly:

parents we either say "hey, wow their mom and dad pretty smart.

Joseph Okaly:

I'm going to do that too". Or maybe like "Oh, mom and dad

Joseph Okaly:

seemed like they're really struggling. I'm gonna do the

Joseph Okaly:

opposite of what they're doing here". Or even you know, music

Joseph Okaly:

videos with you know, Bentleys, gold chains, and making it rain

Joseph Okaly:

dollar bills, all really not great resources for for

Joseph Okaly:

developing a great money mindset. So what I'd like

Joseph Okaly:

everyone to do to kind of finish off this first section, I guess,

Joseph Okaly:

is let's all visualize if you close your eyes and you think of

Joseph Okaly:

all your kind of close family and friends. So you know, 10-15

Joseph Okaly:

people, something like that. Visualize them in your head. And

Joseph Okaly:

below that, I want you to put three different boxes below

Joseph Okaly:

them. So first, let's think about those people that you're

Joseph Okaly:

that you're visualizing right now that have a mindset of a

Joseph Okaly:

spender. So we all know spenders, every time we see

Joseph Okaly:

them, they seem to have something new or cool to show

Joseph Okaly:

you. So grab all those people that you're visualizing right

Joseph Okaly:

now that are spenders, and let's put them in that first box. Now,

Joseph Okaly:

let's move on to the second mindset, a saver. So you know,

Joseph Okaly:

everybody knows people that are good at saving, you don't really

Joseph Okaly:

see them save, you kind of you know that they seem to be

Joseph Okaly:

putting away enough. They seem to always have money for what

Joseph Okaly:

they need to have money for. So all those people that you're

Joseph Okaly:

visualizing that are savers, grab them, and let's visually

Joseph Okaly:

put them into that second box. Now, there's the last box here,

Joseph Okaly:

which I'm guessing should be most of the other people that

Joseph Okaly:

that you have left, I find to be just the people that that hate

Joseph Okaly:

spending. They don't, they don't spend money, they don't really

Joseph Okaly:

seem to have it when they need it either. So you kind of you

Joseph Okaly:

know, the people were that when the bill comes out at dinner,

Joseph Okaly:

they kind of cringe thinking about having to put anything

Joseph Okaly:

into the pot there. But let's grab the rest of those people

Joseph Okaly:

and put them into that last box. So you visualize all these

Joseph Okaly:

family and friends. And we have them in these three different

Joseph Okaly:

boxes now. So let's say now that those people that you just put

Joseph Okaly:

into those three boxes, were doing this same exact exercise

Joseph Okaly:

and you were one of the people that they visualized. What which

Joseph Okaly:

one of those three boxes do you think that they would be placing

Joseph Okaly:

you in right now? Where do you think they put you from your

Joseph Okaly:

money mindset standpoint, right now.

Joseph Okaly:

And the point of going through kind of this visualization, what

Joseph Okaly:

I find this to be helpful to do is 1, show like everybody that

Joseph Okaly:

you visualized, you could put them in some box, they all have

Joseph Okaly:

some kind of a money mindset that they all develop despite

Joseph Okaly:

having no education, despite maybe having no resources to

Joseph Okaly:

talk to other people. And the second part that I find really

Joseph Okaly:

interesting about this exercise is that when we think about what

Joseph Okaly:

other people would think about our money mindset, what what

Joseph Okaly:

box, they would put us and it kind of quickly brings anxiety,

Joseph Okaly:

it shows like, you know what other people think of how we

Joseph Okaly:

handle money is kind of stressful for us. It's kind of,

Joseph Okaly:

you know, important to us that they think of us in a certain

Joseph Okaly:

way. And what I want to kind of start off here with is, you

Joseph Okaly:

know, the there is no blame, there's no shame or anything for

Joseph Okaly:

where everyone is at this point in time. Again, we didn't get

Joseph Okaly:

the education, you didn't get the resources but now that we

Joseph Okaly:

start building up this mindset, we're aware that we do have a

Joseph Okaly:

mindset, we do have a relationship with money at this

Joseph Okaly:

point in time, that now allows us a starting point that we can

Joseph Okaly:

make decisions on from where that mindset goes from here and

Joseph Okaly:

how much it excels from here. So Jade anything from I guess that

Joseph Okaly:

first section that you know, any reflections that you had, or

Joseph Okaly:

anything that you kind of connected with?

Unknown:

Yeah, first of all, I'd like to know if I want wealth

Unknown:

management as trademarks, because if it isn't, I'll be

Unknown:

using that for myself. It's so true. I think the jargon is an

Unknown:

unnecessary barrier to entry. So if anyone has been considering

Unknown:

seeking financial advice or embarking on their own journey,

Unknown:

but feel they're not wealthy enough, or they don't have

Unknown:

enough knowledge, please do reach out and ask for help and

Unknown:

support because it's there for you if you need it. The other

Unknown:

thing I wanted to ask you to share with us is where can

Unknown:

people go then but as you mentioned, it's not taught on a

Unknown:

curriculum, you were very lucky to come across good financial

Unknown:

advice and support. What resources do you suggest people

Unknown:

can go to be it YouTubers, books, any other resources?

Joseph Okaly:

Sure. Yeah. So there's a lot of finance stuff

Joseph Okaly:

out there. And I would say a lot of the finance stuff that's the

Joseph Okaly:

loudest like if somebody is shouting at you through the TV

Joseph Okaly:

and hitting a buzzer, they're probably not the person you want

Joseph Okaly:

to be taking advice from. When it comes to to real you know

Joseph Okaly:

financial planning to try to get you on a path and a journey if

Joseph Okaly:

you picture kind of a point you know, a dot of where you are now

Joseph Okaly:

and a second dot you know, further on you know, down on a

Joseph Okaly:

piece of paper. We wanted to have like the smoothest

Joseph Okaly:

straightest line to get you from from where you are here to where

Joseph Okaly:

you are down there. So when you go through a lot of that

Joseph Okaly:

financial stuff that you see out there, if any that has like a

Joseph Okaly:

feeling of like get rich quick, I would definitely tell you to

Joseph Okaly:

really look at that closely. Really look at that with a with

Joseph Okaly:

a cautious eye and financial resources that you come across

Joseph Okaly:

that kind of say, you know, save, save more than you spend.

Joseph Okaly:

You know, here's some smart stuff to protect yourself.

Joseph Okaly:

Anything like that. There's a lot of podcasts out there.

Joseph Okaly:

There's you know, there's a lot of different books out there.

Joseph Okaly:

The Millionaire Next Door is one that I thought was fantastic for

Joseph Okaly:

you don't have To be flashy to accumulate wealth. So that would

Joseph Okaly:

be the overarching kind of theme that I would say to look for and

Joseph Okaly:

to avoid. I don't know, Jade, if you've had personal experience

Joseph Okaly:

in any of those kind of areas for you meeting, people looking

Joseph Okaly:

at things that they shouldn't necessarily be focusing on to,

Joseph Okaly:

to try to gain some of that financial knowledge.

Jade Rose:

Yeah, I completely agree. There are a lot of

Jade Rose:

questionable resources out there. But like you said, the

Jade Rose:

obvious ones that scream, paid course or get rich quick, I, I

Jade Rose:

would steer clear from another question on your mindset, then.

Jade Rose:

So you graduated college in well, when when the financial

Jade Rose:

crisis was happening, which is quite a pivotal point in your

Jade Rose:

life and your career. And now you said you never had anxiety

Jade Rose:

around money because of the education that you'd received?

Jade Rose:

To have how did that play out during 2008? When you're just

Jade Rose:

embarking on your own career?

Joseph Okaly:

Yeah, so I mean, one of the coaching programs

Jade Rose:

Yeah, I love that. That's such a great attitude to

Jade Rose:

that I use, I don't know if anybody out there has heard of

Jade Rose:

Strategic Coach before. But that's a phenomenal resource, a

Jade Rose:

phenomenal program, and one of the things that they teach is,

Jade Rose:

you know, there's no, there's no real negative, there's no,

Jade Rose:

there's always opportunity within there. So, you know, in

Jade Rose:

2008, everything's dropping, that also means a lot of people

Jade Rose:

are looking for financial advice, because the things that

Jade Rose:

they've been doing probably aren't working. It also

Jade Rose:

corresponded with mortgage rates here dropping down, and people

Jade Rose:

needing to refinance, to be able to still keep their bills the

Jade Rose:

way they were. So refinancing was a big part of what I did in

Jade Rose:

2008. You know, even in COVID, this last year, it gave us the

Jade Rose:

opportunity to really greatly expand our resources with

Jade Rose:

jumping into zoom, like so many other companies did, focusing

Jade Rose:

more on making videos and media content that a lot of people out

Jade Rose:

have. So for anyone who's just joined us, we are chatting with

Jade Rose:

there could consume. So, you know, it there's, there's always

Jade Rose:

hurdles no matter where, where you are, and, you know, even in

Jade Rose:

our industry, when everything is, is going up, you know,

Jade Rose:

convincing someone to to work with you, instead of someone

Jade Rose:

else I would say is probably even harder, because

Jade Rose:

everything's just going straight up. It's the times that are

Jade Rose:

difficult, that, that I think, have way more opportunity in

Jade Rose:

them for you to shine if you're willing to do it and, you know,

Jade Rose:

Joe Okaly, financial advisor and podcaster. Joe is discussing how

Jade Rose:

n a unique way. Like 2008, the dvisors that just put their

Jade Rose:

ead in the sand and tried to ide from their clients, because

Jade Rose:

hey were so afraid of what they ight say, those are the ones

Jade Rose:

hat probably lost more clients t an they gain as opposed to the

Jade Rose:

dvisors that really stepped up he opportunity and tried to

Jade Rose:

ngage even more with their lients, I think did a lot

Jade Rose:

etter. And that was at least my ersonal experience back when I

Jade Rose:

tarted in 2008.

Jade Rose:

to excel in your financial mindset and is answering any

Jade Rose:

questions you guys may have. If you'd like to ask a question,

Jade Rose:

please use the button in the bottom right hand corner, and

Jade Rose:

then you can join the stage there. So our next section, then

Jade Rose:

we're going to discuss where your mindset can take

Joseph Okaly:

Yeah, thank you so much Jade. So we kind of set

Joseph Okaly:

that stage through this early part of the conversation to

Joseph Okaly:

hopefully get everybody on the same page of you do have a

Joseph Okaly:

mindset when it comes to money already, you have a relationship

Joseph Okaly:

with money already and you know, despite any conscious effort,

Joseph Okaly:

perhaps or any intentional schooling, we all kind of wound

Joseph Okaly:

up in this spot. So this next section, my daughter, Avery,

Joseph Okaly:

she's almost five, she's a huge fan of the Frozen movies,

Joseph Okaly:

obviously being Elsa for Halloween. So this is kind of

Joseph Okaly:

like the Into The Unknown section of the presentation, if

Joseph Okaly:

you will. So going back to that visualization exercise that we

Joseph Okaly:

did before where we're picturing all of our family and our

Joseph Okaly:

friends and you know the mindsets they might have as

Joseph Okaly:

spenders or savers or anything else. You know, one of the

Joseph Okaly:

things that you'll notice is that there really is there's no

Joseph Okaly:

inherent right or wrong that I at least intentionally tried to

Joseph Okaly:

point out, you know, because the default that you may think that

Joseph Okaly:

a lot of people think or like, you know savers are good and

Joseph Okaly:

spenders are bad. And the goal in life though and is not to

Joseph Okaly:

accumulate as much money as possible, not to have a really

Joseph Okaly:

large number on a piece of paper, which is what you would

Joseph Okaly:

expect an advisor to tell you like save, save, save, just get

Joseph Okaly:

this this investment value as big as it possibly can be. But

Joseph Okaly:

certainly to me, that's not the case. It's to make life most

Joseph Okaly:

enjoyable to you, however you may define it. So that's

Joseph Okaly:

something that Jade brought up kind of earlier in the

Joseph Okaly:

presentation. And this is really the heart of what I'm hoping to

Joseph Okaly:

get across to everybody today. So excelling in your money

Joseph Okaly:

mindset doesn't mean a big net worth. Excelling in your money

Joseph Okaly:

mindset means putting yourself in a position to make life most

Joseph Okaly:

enjoyable to you. However, you may individually define that. So

Joseph Okaly:

if you're a saver mindset, let's say and you're not experiencing

Joseph Okaly:

life as much as you could be, because you're just trying to

Joseph Okaly:

save every penny, you're afraid of what the future may be

Joseph Okaly:

because it's unknown. To me, that's a huge problem as an

Joseph Okaly:

advisor. You're missing out on those trips to Disney World.

Joseph Okaly:

You're missing out on maybe that nicer house that you could enjoy

Joseph Okaly:

more with your kids or whatever else it might be. If you're a

Joseph Okaly:

spender mindset, you're obviously not putting away, you

Joseph Okaly:

know enough money for the future, you have other goals,

Joseph Okaly:

probably long term that are really important, you know, down

Joseph Okaly:

the road. So that's obviously a problem as well. But either one

Joseph Okaly:

of these can be a problem. So neither one of those I would

Joseph Okaly:

define as really excelling in their financial mindset. And the

Joseph Okaly:

trick here with all of this really is having some idea of

Joseph Okaly:

where you're going. Having that plan so that you're freer to

Joseph Okaly:

spend whatever is excess on living and not have that guilt,

Joseph Okaly:

that that tends to kind of tack along with the process. So like,

Joseph Okaly:

you know, if you're going to the ice cream shop to buy an ice

Joseph Okaly:

cream cone, and you don't know how much money is in your

Joseph Okaly:

pocket, that's a problem. You walk up to the register, and

Joseph Okaly:

maybe I don't know how much I have on the order of the small

Joseph Okaly:

ice cream cone. And then you pull $100 bill out of your

Joseph Okaly:

pocket, you're gonna be kicking yourself! Who wants a small ice

Joseph Okaly:

cream cone? And the complete reverse of that if you walk up

Joseph Okaly:

to the counter, and you order the large and then you pull out

Joseph Okaly:

a $1 bill, and you have to ask the guy to scrape a scoop off

Joseph Okaly:

the top, you look like a fool. So we don't want that either.

Joseph Okaly:

The mindset shift, though, that this allows us to make is

Joseph Okaly:

everybody seems to work off of educated guesses. And we want to

Joseph Okaly:

get that closer at, you know, as close as we can to making that

Joseph Okaly:

educated decisions instead. Because people that again, excel

Joseph Okaly:

in their financial mindset are those that see money as a tool,

Joseph Okaly:

instead of a goal in of itself. The money is not the goal, the

Joseph Okaly:

ice cream is the goal. The vacations are the goal. The

Joseph Okaly:

happiness is the goal. So people that excel in their financial

Joseph Okaly:

mindset are the people who really recognize that end goal.

Joseph Okaly:

And it may seem like a no brainer, you know, we all want

Joseph Okaly:

to be happy. But there's really a huge mindset difference here

Joseph Okaly:

when you look at possible actions that you can make and

Joseph Okaly:

what seemingly could be very easy scenarios that could be

Joseph Okaly:

overlooked.

Joseph Okaly:

So like as an example, let's say that you're working right now,

Joseph Okaly:

someone comes to you, and they offer you a job for $25,000 or

Joseph Okaly:

more per year. The conventional wisdom automatically is that you

Joseph Okaly:

take it. More money equals better, you know? When you have

Joseph Okaly:

a mindset of money, though, as a tool, we can reframe that whole

Joseph Okaly:

scenario. We can instead say, what can more of this tool allow

Joseph Okaly:

me to do that I can't already do to make my life happier. So if

Joseph Okaly:

this new job comes a longer commute, seeing my family less,

Joseph Okaly:

and you're not clear on how you can use this extra tool from a

Joseph Okaly:

happiness standpoint, then I'd have to kind of ask you, you

Joseph Okaly:

know, why are you doing this? Do you need more of this tool for

Joseph Okaly:

what you have to give up? And if your answer is like, well, you

Joseph Okaly:

know, I have relatives overseas, more of this tool, will allow me

Joseph Okaly:

to now give my kids that experience to connect more with

Joseph Okaly:

family. That's fantastic. Your your mindset now is in a place

Joseph Okaly:

where it's allowing you to make an educated decision. Or maybe

Joseph Okaly:

you know, you want a house with a really big backyard, because

Joseph Okaly:

you always pictured yourself playing, you know, back there on

Joseph Okaly:

weekends with your kids. You know, again, that mindset is

Joseph Okaly:

allowing you to make an educated decision. You know, specifically

Joseph Okaly:

what more of this tool will allow you to do.

Joseph Okaly:

So I had brought up my wife, Lauren, earlier in this

Joseph Okaly:

presentation. Why she is so awesome, is she used to be a

Joseph Okaly:

teacher. And now she's a social media marketer for a competitive

Joseph Okaly:

cheerleading gym. And this whole money as a tool was was a real

Joseph Okaly:

life thing that we that we went through that we had to evaluate.

Joseph Okaly:

And cheerleading, competitive cheerleading is her passion. I

Joseph Okaly:

need to definitely define competitive cheerleading, it is

Joseph Okaly:

not the pom poms on the side of the football game, but rather

Joseph Okaly:

the giant pyramids of human beings that are flipping on each

Joseph Okaly:

other heads. So that that's the competitive cheerleading that

Joseph Okaly:

she loves. Now, when you when you're a teacher here in New

Joseph Okaly:

Jersey, you go from having a pension, this very secure

Joseph Okaly:

position. And now the pensions gone, the salary gets cut, but

Joseph Okaly:

overall for our family, it was an exponential leap in

Joseph Okaly:

happiness. And so I don't want this to turn into you know,

Joseph Okaly:

willy nilly follow your dreams, chase rainbows, not telling you

Joseph Okaly:

not to like money. I very much like money. I'm saying that when

Joseph Okaly:

we looked at where we wanted to go, and how many tools we needed

Joseph Okaly:

to do that, actually, we still had enough tools for our

Joseph Okaly:

adjusted plan. We didn't follow the plan that would allow us to

Joseph Okaly:

accumulate the most tools. Our money mindset actually allowed

Joseph Okaly:

us to pick the one that would allow us to have the most

Joseph Okaly:

happiness. So excelling in this financial mindset, to me really

Joseph Okaly:

means understanding this as a goal. So does any of that

Joseph Okaly:

connect with you Jade or any reflections that you have kind

Joseph Okaly:

of bouncing that back off of you?

Jade Rose:

Yeah, for sure. I think what's really interesting

Jade Rose:

is this great resignation that we're going through off the back

Jade Rose:

of COVID. Just in August this year, over 4 million Americans

Jade Rose:

quit their jobs. And I wonder if that is due to a shift in maybe

Jade Rose:

if people don't recognize it as money mindset but more of the

Jade Rose:

happiness mindset and COVID really got people thinking about

Jade Rose:

their priorities. I mean, have you? Is that being reflected in

Jade Rose:

your clients people's change of priorities?

Joseph Okaly:

I think that's a fantastic point to bring up.

Joseph Okaly:

Because you're right, they're probably not doing it because

Joseph Okaly:

they think, Oh, my money mindset has changed. So now I'm going

Joseph Okaly:

about it this way. But money is part of it. They're saying, you

Joseph Okaly:

know, I don't want to go back to work, and commute and spend you

Joseph Okaly:

know, two hours and on the train going into New York City

Joseph Okaly:

anymore. I don't want to do that anymore because that didn't make

Joseph Okaly:

me happy. I see how much happier I am not doing that. So I think

Joseph Okaly:

that's just a fantastic example, Jade of maybe that being

Joseph Okaly:

reflected and seen publicly without maybe being directly

Joseph Okaly:

connected to money mindset, as you said.

Jade Rose:

Yeah, for sure. And I just want to share a very quick

Jade Rose:

story. Just to back up Joe's points. I had a conversation

Jade Rose:

with a young client, she's only 23, who outright said to me,

Jade Rose:

Jade, I don't want to buy a house. That is not something

Jade Rose:

that is in my life plan. And I really commended her for that.

Jade Rose:

Because a lot of people think property is the right thing for

Jade Rose:

them. Or, you know, there's a certain prescriptive way to live

Jade Rose:

your life. But like Joe said, if that doesn't make sense for you,

Jade Rose:

and your life and your family, then you know, wealth and

Jade Rose:

success is really subjective. So really drill down on what it is

Jade Rose:

that you guys want, and not what society says that you should

Jade Rose:

want. We had a question, I can't remember who it was from, but it

Jade Rose:

will let me add you to the stage. If that was you do raise

Jade Rose:

your hand again and I will invite you up to ask your

Jade Rose:

question to Joe. Okay, so the next section, we're going to

Jade Rose:

talk about three questions that people can ask themselves to

Jade Rose:

start excelling in their mindset.

Joseph Okaly:

Great, yeah. Thank you, Jade. Yeah, so I'm a big

Joseph Okaly:

visualization kind of a person. So let's do another exercise

Joseph Okaly:

here. So visually, picture a blank map in your mind. And in

Joseph Okaly:

the middle of this map, I want you to put a You Are Here

Joseph Okaly:

sticker. So my map always seems to come out like a pirate map.

Joseph Okaly:

But maybe yours is more like the one you see on the subway or

Joseph Okaly:

what you pull out of your your glove compartment. But that

Joseph Okaly:

sticker that You Are Here sticker in the blank map is

Joseph Okaly:

where you are today. So as with any map, the whole purpose of

Joseph Okaly:

maps is to help you get to where you're actually wanting to go.

Joseph Okaly:

Blank maps are not helpful to anyone. So you know, the first

Joseph Okaly:

question is, it sounds crazy. But the first question is

Joseph Okaly:

literally asking yourself, what would make you happy. And if you

Joseph Okaly:

have a spouse or significant other, what jointly would make

Joseph Okaly:

you happy. And I thought that this was crazy the first time I

Joseph Okaly:

did it 100%. Before I was taught to stop and be more intentional

Joseph Okaly:

about this so you know, I was really just going day to day,

Joseph Okaly:

week to week, month to month, you know, even from a young age,

Joseph Okaly:

you know, you want to get good grades, get into a good school,

Joseph Okaly:

get a good job, make a lot of money, get married, etc, etc.

Joseph Okaly:

And when I actually stopped with this intentionality of my

Joseph Okaly:

mindset, and Lauren and I sat down and kind of went over what

Joseph Okaly:

would actually make us happy, I was surprised with what came

Joseph Okaly:

out. I was surprised that by far what I valued more than

Joseph Okaly:

anything, were more vacations and experiences. Taking my kids

Joseph Okaly:

to Disney World, visiting new states around the US. I hadn't

Joseph Okaly:

seen most of the states, that wasn't something that we did as

Joseph Okaly:

a kid. Staying in interesting and unique Airbnb, you know, we

Joseph Okaly:

went to like a upstate New York old school kind of place for

Joseph Okaly:

Thanksgiving last year. For my wife, she wanted a pool, that

Joseph Okaly:

was pretty straightforward. She grew up with one, she wanted to

Joseph Okaly:

give that same experience to our kids. And for us, at least we

Joseph Okaly:

both love our jobs. So retiring early, like that's a goal for

Joseph Okaly:

someone that some people that would make people happy. For us

Joseph Okaly:

that's not really on the top of our list, but it helped us

Joseph Okaly:

organize this list. So it's really whatever would make you

Joseph Okaly:

happy. You need to know this first because those are the

Joseph Okaly:

destinations you're now putting on that blank map. Any map

Joseph Okaly:

around the edges is where you're putting these destinations. And

Joseph Okaly:

to Jade's point for her story with the young lady that she was

Joseph Okaly:

working with. It doesn't have to be you know, buying a house that

Joseph Okaly:

seems like it should be on your map but it doesn't have to be.

Joseph Okaly:

It should be whoever whatever you want to put on your map,

Joseph Okaly:

what would actually make you happy. So that's really the the

Joseph Okaly:

first the first question that I always try to help people answer

Joseph Okaly:

because you'd be surprised how often if you really stopped to

Joseph Okaly:

think about it, you come up with this scale that's completely

Joseph Okaly:

different than what you might, you know, just willy nilly kind

Joseph Okaly:

of pull out of your pocket. If somebody asks you if you really

Joseph Okaly:

give it the intentionality of your thought.

Joseph Okaly:

The next question is, how much am I saving now? So you may have

Joseph Okaly:

heard the phrase, you know, pay yourself first. And essentially

Joseph Okaly:

everybody out here works really hard for their money. And then

Joseph Okaly:

you take that money and you give it to the mortgage company. You

Joseph Okaly:

take that money you give it to the grocery store or the car

Joseph Okaly:

dealership or whatever else. But many people don't know how much

Joseph Okaly:

they pay themselves first, every month. And from all the clients

Joseph Okaly:

that we work with the ones that are the wealthiest and the

Joseph Okaly:

happiest, it's not really about how much you make many times but

Joseph Okaly:

how much you keep. So if you're wanting to be in a good place

Joseph Okaly:

down the road, you're probably wanting to save, I would say at

Joseph Okaly:

least 10% of your gross income. So if I make $100,000 a year,

Joseph Okaly:

that'd be $10,000. A year that I'm saving, at least, if not

Joseph Okaly:

more. So really, everybody out here should be looking to see

Joseph Okaly:

how much am I saving now, because that's what leads to

Joseph Okaly:

filling in these roads. So we have you here, you are here

Joseph Okaly:

sticker in the middle, we now start building out some of these

Joseph Okaly:

destinations on the outskirts of the map, but how far are our

Joseph Okaly:

roads going out there. So if you haven't saved anything to this

Joseph Okaly:

point, that that's fine. But your roads aren't very far right

Joseph Okaly:

now we need to work on building those up. If you have been an

Joseph Okaly:

avid saver for most of your life, up into this point, your

Joseph Okaly:

roads might be like really well developed and might be really

Joseph Okaly:

close to where those destinations are, if you stop

Joseph Okaly:

and look at them, which then can free you up to live more in the

Joseph Okaly:

present today.

Joseph Okaly:

The last question is involving rituals or habits. Conversations

Joseph Okaly:

like this are all well and good. You know, you watch that

Joseph Okaly:

inspirational TED talk, you read that book that leaves you, you

Joseph Okaly:

know, feeling on on a whole different level for a week or

Joseph Okaly:

two. But all of this stuff tends to kind of fade if it's not

Joseph Okaly:

right in front of you, if it's not top of mind. So the rituals

Joseph Okaly:

or habits that I find to help it stay more top of mind, is the

Joseph Okaly:

first thing is always asking myself why I'm doing something,

Joseph Okaly:

especially when it comes to money. Is it because it would

Joseph Okaly:

make me happy or because I'm supposed to do that. So again,

Joseph Okaly:

the you know, am I wanting to buy a house because everyone in

Joseph Okaly:

America is supposed to own their own house, or am I wanting to

Joseph Okaly:

buy a house because it would actually make me happy. You

Joseph Okaly:

know, again, to Jade's point buying houses, not for anyone,

Joseph Okaly:

for everyone. It's your know, renting has a lot of really good

Joseph Okaly:

perks to it, you know. And if that's what makes you happy, no

Joseph Okaly:

maintenance or anything like that, then renting could be a

Joseph Okaly:

great option.

Joseph Okaly:

The second is what I'll call is money blocking, or what I call

Joseph Okaly:

money blocking. So money blocking is basically setting

Joseph Okaly:

blocks of your money to decide ahead of time, so that you free

Joseph Okaly:

up everything else to not feel guilty about. So for example,

Joseph Okaly:

let's say that you get a bonus every year. Ahead of time

Joseph Okaly:

saying, I'm going to save half and spend half every year on a

Joseph Okaly:

great vacation. That's cool, you're you're putting away half

Joseph Okaly:

of your bonus towards yourself, and the remaining half you're

Joseph Okaly:

actually using to live life. And now you could do a guilt free

Joseph Okaly:

because you know, hey, I save this huge amount, now I get to

Joseph Okaly:

spend this big amount. And it could be the same thing when you

Joseph Okaly:

like get a raise. So we tell clients, okay, you know, if

Joseph Okaly:

there's a let's, let's see, next time around, you want a little

Joseph Okaly:

bit nicer car lease, that's fine. But let's save the other

Joseph Okaly:

75% of that so you keep advancing towards those long

Joseph Okaly:

term goals. Or, you know, take the first two paychecks and go

Joseph Okaly:

on a nice vacation but blocking these these money items to the

Joseph Okaly:

side and now that you could see what's left "I blocked away my

Joseph Okaly:

savings. Now here's what's left, and I am freer in, you know, to

Joseph Okaly:

use it for those things without feeling guilty". And you know, I

Joseph Okaly:

encourage people to use this on a smaller level too. If you buy

Joseph Okaly:

a $50 gift card every month for Starbucks, then every time you

Joseph Okaly:

want an extra shot of espresso, great go for it, you don't have

Joseph Okaly:

to feel guilty about that. Buy a package of you know, 4 massages

Joseph Okaly:

after every bonus. So you know, every year I have one massage a

Joseph Okaly:

quarter, whatever it might be. But when you block these things

Joseph Okaly:

away, you know, to the side, then you don't get into like,

Joseph Okaly:

"Oh, I really feel like I could use a massage. But you know, I

Joseph Okaly:

just spent money on this over here" that it's like, "I already

Joseph Okaly:

bought that massage, I can use it, it's I haven't used any of

Joseph Okaly:

this quarter, I'm going to go for it". And that frees you up

Joseph Okaly:

again to just make life as enjoyable as possible. That's

Joseph Okaly:

really what we're trying to help, you know, reframing things

Joseph Okaly:

to get you to that end goal. So you know, Jade, how do those

Joseph Okaly:

three questions I guess hit you? Are those any you know that

Joseph Okaly:

you've asked yourself before that you kind of work on and

Joseph Okaly:

directly or another way with the clients that you have?

Jade Rose:

Yeah, I mean, you know, I do this with my clients

Jade Rose:

but equally, I do my own visualizations, my own mind

Jade Rose:

mapping. And I think the biggest takeaway from you, Joe, is to

Jade Rose:

really set a goal because, you know, if you don't know where

Jade Rose:

you're aiming, then you're never going to get to it. What I

Jade Rose:

wanted to say to the audience is if any of you are struggling

Jade Rose:

with your money mindset, or perhaps you're not struggling,

Jade Rose:

but you just feel a bit stuck, do come up to the stage and chat

Jade Rose:

with Joe. And we'll see what we can do what we can help and

Jade Rose:

maybe talk through some blocks that you may have yourself. So I

Jade Rose:

wanted to ask Joe, they say you are the average of the five

Jade Rose:

people closest to you. Do you think that applies for money

Jade Rose:

habits as well?

Joseph Okaly:

Wow, that's a really interesting question. So

Joseph Okaly:

yeah, I would say that probably is more true than not. I would

Joseph Okaly:

find it very surprising to, you know, get along well with you

Joseph Okaly:

know, 4 people that go on lavish vacations and you never go on

Joseph Okaly:

them at all, it'd be hard to kind of to be in that that

Joseph Okaly:

social, that social group if they're going all over the place

Joseph Okaly:

and you're not so I would say that that definitely has a fair

Joseph Okaly:

amount of validity to it not that it's every time across the

Joseph Okaly:

board. But yeah, I mean, if you have people, you know, I've

Joseph Okaly:

heard that there are different types of mentors. So you can

Joseph Okaly:

have a specific area kind of mentor, or you could have kind

Joseph Okaly:

of a soul or a spiritual mentor. So for people that you know,

Joseph Okaly:

that have somebody that when we're going through these

Joseph Okaly:

exercises, they're like, you know, what, my father in law,

Joseph Okaly:

you know, I feel like he really excels in his money mindset, or,

Joseph Okaly:

you know, my cousin Johnny, like, he really excels in his

Joseph Okaly:

money mindset based on what we went through today. You know,

Joseph Okaly:

look for why you think that is like, why did they jump into

Joseph Okaly:

your mind in that way? And maybe now, you know, relate to them a

Joseph Okaly:

little bit more to see kind of what what are they doing that

Joseph Okaly:

maybe I could reflect for myself, and kind of use, like

Joseph Okaly:

you said, maybe they're not, you know, the five people you spend

Joseph Okaly:

the most time with, but we all are around a lot of people and

Joseph Okaly:

you know, some people just kind of give that vibe that they

Joseph Okaly:

really seem happy, they really seem to have it together, and

Joseph Okaly:

pay attention to that, again, be intentional of trying to look to

Joseph Okaly:

see, you know, what are the some of the things that they might be

Joseph Okaly:

doing, that I can emulate? Or what are some of the things that

Joseph Okaly:

they might be willing to share with me? That might help me

Joseph Okaly:

along in my own journey?

Jade Rose:

Hmm, yeah. Awesome. So thinking about emulating good

Jade Rose:

habits? And what can you tell us about the differences between

Jade Rose:

regular people and wealthy people in terms of their money

Jade Rose:

mindsets, and that?

Joseph Okaly:

Yeah, so I mean, for me, the word wealth, I feel

Joseph Okaly:

like always just ties directly in with money. And to me, wealth

Joseph Okaly:

is really just like, a freedom to work on the things that you

Joseph Okaly:

want to work on. And almost equally as important not have to

Joseph Okaly:

work on things that you don't want to work on. So you know, we

Joseph Okaly:

have people that that have, you know, huge net worths that we

Joseph Okaly:

work with, and yet they like, can't wait to retire, because

Joseph Okaly:

they just, they just don't like their day to day. So I would

Joseph Okaly:

really try, you know, for the people that are not wealthy,

Joseph Okaly:

those are usually the people that have I would say, have a

Joseph Okaly:

poor mindset about it, not, you know, people that have a small

Joseph Okaly:

net worth kind of a thing. So wealth, I really, I think it

Joseph Okaly:

should be tied more much more into again, like I said, the,

Joseph Okaly:

you know, are you free to spend time in the things you want to

Joseph Okaly:

spend time on, and also not having to spend time on the

Joseph Okaly:

things that you really don't want to spend time on?

Jade Rose:

Yeah, so so wealth isn't necessarily the finer

Jade Rose:

lifestyle and saving 60% of your income, but actually being

Jade Rose:

miserable. Okay, so what are some of the common money mindset

Jade Rose:

blocks that you come across, then?

Joseph Okaly:

Yeah, so I think one of the biggest things for

Joseph Okaly:

people especially that don't want that feel afraid to ask for

Joseph Okaly:

help, is, you know, we have a lot of, especially young people

Joseph Okaly:

that come in, and they say, you know, well, here's what we have,

Joseph Okaly:

you know, I'm sorry, and it's not a lot, it's, you know, it's

Joseph Okaly:

probably not as much as what a lot of your other clients have.

Joseph Okaly:

And, and that mentality really holds so many people back from,

Joseph Okaly:

from getting help and advice. Like, I know, for us, like, even

Joseph Okaly:

if it's not a good fit for someone that we can work with,

Joseph Okaly:

maybe you know, they're not at a phase in their life, where we

Joseph Okaly:

really are able to jump in and help them in all the ways that

Joseph Okaly:

we help some of our other people. But we always leave them

Joseph Okaly:

with advice, we always say, you know, here work on ABC and D,

Joseph Okaly:

and here's why. And then when these are completed, like, then

Joseph Okaly:

you probably wouldn't be a fit, and they can come back to us. So

Joseph Okaly:

even if you reach out to somebody, and it doesn't seem

Joseph Okaly:

like a long term relationship for the next 30 years is in the

Joseph Okaly:

cards, you're probably going to leave with some good piece of

Joseph Okaly:

information. I mean, anybody that's just a nice human being,

Joseph Okaly:

is going to try to help you. I mean, like, think of your own

Joseph Okaly:

jobs, if somebody called you up in your own job, and they they

Joseph Okaly:

had a question for you. And it wasn't really, you know, a good

Joseph Okaly:

fit for someone you could work with but they had a question

Joseph Okaly:

that you could give them some advice for, you'd probably give

Joseph Okaly:

it to them. So the same thing goes with, you know, with that

Joseph Okaly:

kind of stuff, you know. I really would encourage people

Joseph Okaly:

to, to reach out to somebody and just get, you know, one or two

Joseph Okaly:

pieces of information or advice, any of that goes a really long

Joseph Okaly:

way, especially if you're young. And these decisions have time to

Joseph Okaly:

compound and grow on each other. It can really just mean you

Joseph Okaly:

know, all the difference in the world. So that's the biggest

Joseph Okaly:

thing that just jumped out for me that that I wanted to touch

Joseph Okaly:

on from that part, Jade.

Jade Rose:

Great, thank you. We've just had a great question

Jade Rose:

come in from an audience member. They said, "How do I set money

Jade Rose:

boundaries when I have friends earning a lot more and a lot

Jade Rose:

less than me?"

Joseph Okaly:

Yeah, so I think the best way to set the money

Joseph Okaly:

boundaries would be as long as you're always paying yourself

Joseph Okaly:

that percent first, right? So like, if you're already putting

Joseph Okaly:

away let's say, 10% every month, and you've looked at it enough

Joseph Okaly:

where that seems like it's going to get you on the on the path

Joseph Okaly:

that you want to be in, then that frees you up to know what's

Joseph Okaly:

left. So you could say like, you know, for my friends that spend

Joseph Okaly:

more well, you know, I don't have that. I don't have that

Joseph Okaly:

piece. You know, I put away the money towards myself. This is

Joseph Okaly:

what I have left. And that's just not going to work. So I'll

Joseph Okaly:

connect with you guys next time. And the same thing for the

Joseph Okaly:

people that maybe you know, aren't at that position where

Joseph Okaly:

you are, you know, you're putting away what you can put

Joseph Okaly:

away. And then the rest of it is just that guilt free thing that

Joseph Okaly:

you want to want to do something with. So, you know, it's not

Joseph Okaly:

trying to like match somebody's level. But once you get the

Joseph Okaly:

paying yourself first part out of it, then you really can see

Joseph Okaly:

okay, this is what's left to be free in and really, you know,

Joseph Okaly:

guilt free anxiety free to go out and spend in the way that

Joseph Okaly:

you want to spend it.

Jade Rose:

But were you always guilt free around money, Joe? Or

Jade Rose:

did was that something you had to work towards?

Joseph Okaly:

Oh, absolutely. When I remember when I first got

Joseph Okaly:

out of college, it was something that I really had to strive for.

Joseph Okaly:

So my, my I remember my mom and sister laughing at me, because I

Joseph Okaly:

got out of college, I was living at home at first as I was trying

Joseph Okaly:

to kick start as an advisor. And there was like a super Friday

Joseph Okaly:

sale or something like that on the you know, at the day after

Joseph Okaly:

Thanksgiving here is a big, you know, holiday where you go out

Joseph Okaly:

and you like, buy a lot of stuff Black Friday, and I spent like,

Joseph Okaly:

I don't $500 on a TV, and I want to like throw up because I never

Joseph Okaly:

spent money on anything. And you know, I just in high school, I

Joseph Okaly:

would work I was a waiter. And you know, I had enough money to

Joseph Okaly:

do some things. But like, I was definitely the type that did not

Joseph Okaly:

want to spend my money. Like I cringed at the thought of

Joseph Okaly:

spending money. So when I first went and just like, bought a TV

Joseph Okaly:

with money I could fully afford I was paying no rent or anything

Joseph Okaly:

living at home, that $500 I like wanted to throw up over. So

Joseph Okaly:

it's, it's something that is learned, whatever money mindset

Joseph Okaly:

you are at today, like anything else, you're you're still

Joseph Okaly:

learning, I'm still learning, I'm sure you're still learning

Joseph Okaly:

Jade. So it's something that's constantly changing and

Joseph Okaly:

evolving. Nobody's just born with this perfect money mindset.

Joseph Okaly:

They have to go out and they have to make mistakes. And you

Joseph Okaly:

know, I wouldn't throw up if I had to buy a new TV anymore. But

Joseph Okaly:

that is definitely something that you have to work your way

Joseph Okaly:

into. And that's a you know, kind of a muscle that you have

Joseph Okaly:

to flex. And you know, you don't want to overdo it and strain it.

Joseph Okaly:

But you have to find that happy medium. So it's definitely

Joseph Okaly:

something that you have to work on to get to the right spot.

Jade Rose:

Wow, that's a great story. Joe, thanks for sharing

Jade Rose:

that with us. Harry, I'm not sure if I'm able to allow you to

Jade Rose:

speak but

Joseph Okaly:

Let me see if I can do it here Jade, I pressed

Joseph Okaly:

the button. I don't know if they're coming through.

Jade Rose:

If not Harry dm your question, and I'll read it out

Jade Rose:

for you. Okay, so another question I wanted to ask then.

Jade Rose:

You said you have two children. I'm interested to know what

Jade Rose:

lessons you try to teach them? And how can parents teach their

Jade Rose:

children about money in an engaging way?

Joseph Okaly:

Yeah, so the first thing about parents with their

Joseph Okaly:

kids is my kids are a little too young for this right now. But I

Joseph Okaly:

would really, really encourage parents to just be open about

Joseph Okaly:

some some degree of money or finances like that they, they

Joseph Okaly:

hiding it kind of like after the kids go to bed kind of thing,

Joseph Okaly:

paying the bills when they're not around. I think that really

Joseph Okaly:

is handicapping the kid, your children more than anything. The

Joseph Okaly:

story that I always bring up is my grandfather, my Grandpa Joe,

Joseph Okaly:

he used to make envelopes every month. So he would have 10

Joseph Okaly:

envelopes. You know, one was electric one was groceries one

Joseph Okaly:

was, you know, whatever else, and he put the cash in each

Joseph Okaly:

individual envelope. And that was the money that he had for

Joseph Okaly:

that month. So you know, the grocery envelope is empty, you

Joseph Okaly:

know, they're eating very meagerly through the end of the

Joseph Okaly:

month. And so his daughters all five of them, they remember that

Joseph Okaly:

system. They remember him doing that. And now like with Excel,

Joseph Okaly:

and online payments, like kids kind of don't get to see that.

Joseph Okaly:

But when it's out there, and it's open, and it's visual for

Joseph Okaly:

them to see to some degree, they can really learn from that. I

Joseph Okaly:

mean, like when I you know, when you have young kids, you don't

Joseph Okaly:

say any swear words at all, because you know, they're gonna

Joseph Okaly:

repeat them kind of a thing they pick up on all those things. The

Joseph Okaly:

same thing is true with money. And you know, when you have it

Joseph Okaly:

out to some degree, like, Oh, this is why I you know, I use a

Joseph Okaly:

credit card at the grocery store instead of cash or, you know,

Joseph Okaly:

vice versa, or, you know, oh, yeah, I just, you know, I got a

Joseph Okaly:

raise and so you know, part of that, you know, we're going to

Joseph Okaly:

go on vacation, and I'm also putting away some more to your

Joseph Okaly:

college education, but just have it out there. Don't have it be

Joseph Okaly:

taboo in your house, because you are literally the only resource

Joseph Okaly:

that they can go to. They're not going to learn it in school

Joseph Okaly:

unless things drastically changed from where they are

Joseph Okaly:

today. They're, they're just going to pick up this mindset on

Joseph Okaly:

their own naturally. And so you are the best resource that they

Joseph Okaly:

could have. You don't have to like show them your pay stubs,

Joseph Okaly:

but just anything that you could do around money to just be open

Joseph Okaly:

a little bit about it will allow them to pick up on more than you

Joseph Okaly:

realize and learn more than you realize. When you have really

Joseph Okaly:

really little kids like I do I've a five and two year old.

Joseph Okaly:

Just simple stuff like you know we have a grocery store, kind of

Joseph Okaly:

a a game that we play Oh, how much is this? How much is this?

Joseph Okaly:

Oh, I only have this much, oh, I have to put this back. And just

Joseph Okaly:

little things like this, they at least learn the concept when

Joseph Okaly:

they're really young, that money is this intangible thing that it

Joseph Okaly:

can run out. It's not infinite. And if they can learn just that,

Joseph Okaly:

when they're really little, that money exists one, and that two,

Joseph Okaly:

it has limits, then they're going to be much more advanced

Joseph Okaly:

when it comes to money than most every other young kid out there.

Jade Rose:

Yeah, that I completely agree. I think the

Jade Rose:

culture is a little different in the States, but in the UK

Jade Rose:

talking about money is a huge no, no. But what I'm hearing is

Jade Rose:

actually we should be getting children involved in the

Jade Rose:

conversation as soon as we can. Like you said, not showing them

Jade Rose:

the pay stubs, but teaching them the concepts of what it is. So

Jade Rose:

if anyone is just joins, we are chatting with Joe Okaly,

Jade Rose:

financial advisor, I'm podcaster. We're discussing how

Jade Rose:

to excel in your financial mindset. And you can DM any

Jade Rose:

questions you have to me, and I'll read them out for you.

Joseph Okaly:

I hope you don't mind me asking, is there. Do you

Joseph Okaly:

have any background like in the UK? How it's such a no, no. Is

Joseph Okaly:

there anything more that you could share that I find that

Joseph Okaly:

really interesting?

Jade Rose:

It's just you know, I don't have an answer for you.

Jade Rose:

It's, it's just uncouth. It's just not the British way. We

Jade Rose:

would rather talk about the weather and the commute, then

Jade Rose:

then talk about money. And the thing I say to people is, that

Jade Rose:

doesn't benefit anyone but the system. It doesn't benefit you

Jade Rose:

when you're negotiating salary to not know what your peers are

Jade Rose:

earning. It doesn't benefit you to know that actually your

Jade Rose:

neighbor with the Bentley and a lot of debt. You know, I think

Jade Rose:

transparency is the way forward. So yeah, it's it's just not the

Jade Rose:

British way. It's just a cultural thing. Yeah. So I also

Jade Rose:

a lot of people say to me, you know, you're telling me to dream

Jade Rose:

big and to make vision boards and these things, but I don't

Jade Rose:

know what I can have. So what what would you say to someone

Jade Rose:

who says they don't know what they can aim for?

Joseph Okaly:

Yeah, I mean, when we work with clients, we're

Joseph Okaly:

doing a lot of planning. So we can say like, if you save, you

Joseph Okaly:

know what you're saving now and you already have what you have

Joseph Okaly:

now, we can say okay, so this is what it looks like in 10 years,

Joseph Okaly:

or this is what it looks like in 20 years. And that's the one

Joseph Okaly:

thing that that's it's more difficult to kind of do on your

Joseph Okaly:

own, because you can't build in like inflation rates and you

Joseph Okaly:

know, compounding interest easily, online yourself from

Joseph Okaly:

what I've seen at least. So that's the part that's a little

Joseph Okaly:

bit more difficult. But when you when we're able to show people

Joseph Okaly:

that, then it really just kind of it opens them up to what's

Joseph Okaly:

possible. And when we tell people to dream big, we don't

Joseph Okaly:

tell them that it's definitely going to happen. We say like,

Joseph Okaly:

like you start with what you would ideally like to do. And I

Joseph Okaly:

promise you, if you can't do that, we'll back it down to what

Joseph Okaly:

you can do. But start with tell me your ideal situation first,

Joseph Okaly:

because that's what I'd love to hit. And then if we have to move

Joseph Okaly:

down from that, I'm not going to bankrupt you in the process, I'm

Joseph Okaly:

definitely going to tell you, Hey, let's step this down a

Joseph Okaly:

couple notches. But you know, starting there, and again, I

Joseph Okaly:

mean, I'm completely biased. And I don't want to pretend I'm not

Joseph Okaly:

being an advisor. But that's why I see such value in going and

Joseph Okaly:

talking to someone and working with someone, because you can

Joseph Okaly:

see more more clearly where you're going, that that map that

Joseph Okaly:

we visualized before, it has more definitive roads in it. And

Joseph Okaly:

that way it frees you have to make those decisions. So like,

Joseph Okaly:

like, I've had young clients who they were great, great savers,

Joseph Okaly:

excuse me. And when I showed them like, Hey, you're already

Joseph Okaly:

on a path to like retire, and probably a little bit early, not

Joseph Okaly:

even including, like salary raises and stuff like that, that

Joseph Okaly:

you're going to get. Because if you if you think about if you're

Joseph Okaly:

30 years old, and you have already saved, let's say, you

Joseph Okaly:

know, $200,000, you know, every 10 years, there's this thing

Joseph Okaly:

called the rule of 72. So if you assume a 7% return every 10

Joseph Okaly:

years, that would double in that case, so you know, $200,000 at

Joseph Okaly:

30 is $400,000 at 40 is $800,000 at 50 and is $1.6 million at 60.

Joseph Okaly:

So when you start extrapolating out, you can see like, oh, wow,

Joseph Okaly:

I may not have a million dollars now, but I'm already on that

Joseph Okaly:

path based on what I've put away. And that frees you up to

Joseph Okaly:

do things like that, that couples instance, they decided

Joseph Okaly:

like I want to put in a pool in my backyard, because I want my

Joseph Okaly:

kids to have that experience and we only get 18 summers with our

Joseph Okaly:

kids. I want to make the most of those 18 summers. So yeah, I

Joseph Okaly:

mean having some path or some direction and then just working

Joseph Okaly:

with someone that wants you to dream big but will tell you you

Joseph Okaly:

know, this is what you have to do to get to those dreams are

Joseph Okaly:

like we're gonna have to back it down a little bit. But you know,

Joseph Okaly:

absolutely start at the top to me my opinion and then let's

Joseph Okaly:

work our way back down to anything that we have to but

Joseph Okaly:

let's start at the top for sure.

Jade Rose:

Yeah, I agree. And just to add to that, a lot of

Jade Rose:

people think financial goals are material, tangible goals, cars,

Jade Rose:

homes, the rest of it. What I would say to that is, it's also

Jade Rose:

about lifestyle, you know, what type of life do you want to

Jade Rose:

live? Is that staying home with the children? Is that working

Jade Rose:

part time? Is it relocation? You know, it doesn't have to be

Jade Rose:

material things. So just something to bear in mind. We've

Jade Rose:

had another audience question. And that is, do you have any

Jade Rose:

tips for people that want to save up for the holidays and not

Jade Rose:

get into debt?

Joseph Okaly:

Yeah, so saving up for the holidays, the holidays

Joseph Okaly:

are always a more difficult time, what we tend to, you know,

Joseph Okaly:

you're going to spend more on the holidays. So if you back off

Joseph Okaly:

your savings a little bit leading up to the holidays, when

Joseph Okaly:

you're dealing with credit cards, and things of that

Joseph Okaly:

nature, you know, might be 10, 15, 20% interest rates, that if

Joseph Okaly:

you're not able to pay that off, that's a lot worse than saving

Joseph Okaly:

money into your retirement account as well in December. So

Joseph Okaly:

you know, what we have some people do is they actually time

Joseph Okaly:

in the US, you have limits on how much you can put in your

Joseph Okaly:

401k. So they'll max out their 401k, or they'll do all their

Joseph Okaly:

contributions that they're planning on doing to their 401k

Joseph Okaly:

and have them end in like November. And then that way,

Joseph Okaly:

December, they have a little extra money to do whatever they

Joseph Okaly:

they need to do in the holiday. So they adjust their savings a

Joseph Okaly:

little bit in that month. The other thing that some people do

Joseph Okaly:

is, again, with bonuses, bonuses are great, because it's this one

Joseph Okaly:

time, you know, lump sum kind of a thing. And you can use it in a

Joseph Okaly:

completely separate way than how you handle the rest of your

Joseph Okaly:

income. So what a lot of people do with their bonuses, when we

Joseph Okaly:

help them be intentional about it is I mentioned before, like,

Joseph Okaly:

Okay, you save half you go on vacation for half, we have some

Joseph Okaly:

people that say like, I want to save, you know, 10% of every

Joseph Okaly:

bonus and use it during the holidays. So you could do that,

Joseph Okaly:

too. So it's, you know, be intentional about it. But

Joseph Okaly:

there's no investment out there that I would recommend to, you

Joseph Okaly:

know, to keep investing into at the expense of having debt build

Joseph Okaly:

up on a you know, on a credit card during the holidays.

Jade Rose:

Hmm, yeah, absolutely. But we've had

Jade Rose:

another question, which is, what can I start doing tomorrow to

Jade Rose:

make better money decisions?

Joseph Okaly:

I mean, for me, I would say start with those those

Joseph Okaly:

three questions. I mean, being you know, what would actually

Joseph Okaly:

make you happy like Jade said to me, as well, it's much more of a

Joseph Okaly:

lifestyle thing than a material kind of thing. I don't know

Joseph Okaly:

anybody that is like on their deathbed that saying I'm really

Joseph Okaly:

happy that I got that, you know, X series car lease kind of a

Joseph Okaly:

thing. So yeah, what you could start doing tomorrow is just

Joseph Okaly:

being more intentional about what would make you happy, and

Joseph Okaly:

start asking yourself as you go through the day, like does this

Joseph Okaly:

make me happy? Or does this not make me happy? What my would I

Joseph Okaly:

be happier if I was working from home still, would I be happier,

Joseph Okaly:

you start questioning things and start kind of figuring out what

Joseph Okaly:

make you happy. It's not a lot of times an overnight exercise.

Joseph Okaly:

It's it's hard to think about some of that stuff. So, you

Joseph Okaly:

know, being more intentional and definitely, you know, looking at

Joseph Okaly:

what you're paying yourself right now. You know, I think

Joseph Okaly:

most people if I asked them like, oh, what percent of your

Joseph Okaly:

of your monthly income do you pay to yourself? Most people

Joseph Okaly:

wouldn't be able to answer that question. So that's an easy one

Joseph Okaly:

that like by tomorrow, you could say like, Okay, here's how much

Joseph Okaly:

I get, and here's how much I'm saving. So right now I'm paying

Joseph Okaly:

you know, 4.2% towards myself, and you know, what, Hey, that

Joseph Okaly:

sounds a little bit low from from the conversation last

Joseph Okaly:

night. You know, maybe I should look for ways to increase that a

Joseph Okaly:

little bit more. So I would say those are the two two things

Joseph Okaly:

that jumped in my mind.

Jade Rose:

That's great. And I'm wondering if you have an opinion

Jade Rose:

on manifestations, affirmations, the kind of spiritual side of

Jade Rose:

money mindset, do you have any, any opinions?

Joseph Okaly:

I mean, when you talk about money itself, like,

Joseph Okaly:

or more of just like, like to me because like when money I when I

Joseph Okaly:

start looking at money as a tool, that kind of like frees me

Joseph Okaly:

up into like the, the spiritual kind of thing. Like if I'm going

Joseph Okaly:

to be freeing myself up lifestyle wise to do the things

Joseph Okaly:

that I really enjoy doing, as opposed to wasting all my time

Joseph Okaly:

on things that I really don't like doing it all. To me that

Joseph Okaly:

it's like, if you get past money sometimes, then that frees you

Joseph Okaly:

up to kind of live in what I would define more as that space

Joseph Okaly:

but I'm not sure if that's if that was the exact direction

Joseph Okaly:

that you were going with that Jade.

Jade Rose:

Well, that was a great answer. But I'm thinking

Jade Rose:

more of along the lines of generational trauma around money

Jade Rose:

that's been inherited and people who genuinely feel stuck and

Jade Rose:

blocked using things like affirmations to to enhance their

Jade Rose:

money mindset and get out of that space. Do you believe those

Jade Rose:

works, morning affirmations?

Joseph Okaly:

I mean, honestly, I have not dealt with those

Joseph Okaly:

specifically around money mindsets before if I'm being

Joseph Okaly:

perfectly honest. I meditate every night. So I'm a big, I'm a

Joseph Okaly:

big being the right mindset, being thankful for where you are

Joseph Okaly:

today kind of a person. But I've never honestly used those tools

Joseph Okaly:

specifically to try to help somebody get out of a poor money

Joseph Okaly:

mindset into a better one. Do you have any experience that

Joseph Okaly:

you'd be able to share with that though?

Jade Rose:

I don't in my professional life with clients,

Jade Rose:

but I do personally. So I was just intrigued if you did, you

Jade Rose:

know, telling myself, you know, particular goals that I want to

Jade Rose:

achieve or particular milestones. Yeah, I did the

Jade Rose:

modules enough off off the record question that I was

Jade Rose:

interested in asking you. So just to wrap up for the last few

Jade Rose:

minutes, going back to making life more enjoyable, I'm

Jade Rose:

wondering what that means for you and what plans you have for

Jade Rose:

the future?

Joseph Okaly:

Sure, yeah. So for me, I want I feel incredibly

Joseph Okaly:

blessed and fortunate that I wound up in the situation that

Joseph Okaly:

I'm in. We didn't get into too much today. But you know, I have

Joseph Okaly:

not one but two fathers that are like fathers to me, neither one

Joseph Okaly:

of them are my biological father. But they both, you know,

Joseph Okaly:

have been guiding me for the last 10 years. And so you know,

Joseph Okaly:

having the opportunity to be in the position that I am to have

Joseph Okaly:

this kind of awareness at a younger age, when it comes to

Joseph Okaly:

money, like I just want to share that with with everybody,

Joseph Okaly:

really. I feel blessed that we live in an age where we have

Joseph Okaly:

podcasts and Fishbowl and, and everything else. So I mean, I'm

Joseph Okaly:

just so excited to to be able to share this with everybody out

Joseph Okaly:

there and just think of new ways that I could do that. You know,

Joseph Okaly:

one of those Strategic Coach things, again, the coaching

Joseph Okaly:

program that they go through is, is you know, when you're an

Joseph Okaly:

entrepreneur, one of the things that you could free yourself up

Joseph Okaly:

for is purpose. And I had the hardest time coming up with

Joseph Okaly:

like, what is my, what is my purpose? What is my purpose?

Joseph Okaly:

What should I do? You know, I'm helping these people with money.

Joseph Okaly:

And then for me, it just clicked when I thought about young

Joseph Okaly:

people, because we help, you know, most wealth management

Joseph Okaly:

firms, I'm assuming this is similar over there, Jade as

Joseph Okaly:

well, we work with mostly an older demographic, because they

Joseph Okaly:

have more money built up, they're closer to retirement,

Joseph Okaly:

they're asking for help now. But these younger people, younger

Joseph Okaly:

families, if they could just do like, you know, anything like

Joseph Okaly:

10% of the best advice out there, they would be in such an

Joseph Okaly:

exponentially better position long term. So that was what just

Joseph Okaly:

like kind of clicked in for me like, this is my purpose. I'm

Joseph Okaly:

going to get the word out to as many young families as I

Joseph Okaly:

possibly can in this world, because if I can help them with

Joseph Okaly:

one thing or two things, like their life could be

Joseph Okaly:

exponentially just that much greater the time they spend with

Joseph Okaly:

their kids could be just that much greater exponentially. So

Joseph Okaly:

I'm just happy. I feel like I found my purpose of what I

Joseph Okaly:

should keep shouting at everybody about and I'm just

Joseph Okaly:

gonna keep going with that.

Jade Rose:

Joe that's awesome and your enthusiasm is

Jade Rose:

infectious. Thank you so much for joining us this evening. I

Jade Rose:

think it'd be great if we could get you back and talk more about

Jade Rose:

that purpose, both yours and how people can really drill down

Jade Rose:

into their own as well. Joe, can people reach out to you if they

Jade Rose:

have any questions or would like financial advice? And if so,

Jade Rose:

where can they find you?

Joseph Okaly:

Oh, yeah, absolutely. If anybody has

Joseph Okaly:

questions on anything, you can find me on all the you know,

Joseph Okaly:

normal social media places here Fishbowl, LinkedIn, anything

Joseph Okaly:

that I could do to help anybody out there. I put out different

Joseph Okaly:

new episodes every week for my podcast, EnjoyMore30s Family

Joseph Okaly:

Finance. So if anything out there is something that can help

Joseph Okaly:

anybody that's that's just fantastic. That's what I'm

Joseph Okaly:

trying to do. So those are the great ways to connect with me.

Joseph Okaly:

Jade you were fantastic tonight, I want to thank you again, so

Joseph Okaly:

much for for being here. And all those thoughtful questions that

Joseph Okaly:

you put together to contribute to tonight. It was it was really

Joseph Okaly:

just wonderful.

Jade Rose:

Thank you. Well it was great to have you. Thanks

Jade Rose:

again. And thank you all for joining us this evening. If you

Jade Rose:

have any questions for Joe do reach out and if there are any

Jade Rose:

finance topics you'd like us to discuss in the future, do reach

Jade Rose:

out to myself or the Fishbowl team and we'll try and make that

Jade Rose:

happen for you guys. Awesome. All right. Well, thank you

Jade Rose:

everyone and have a wonderful evening.

Voiceover Audio:

The conversations on this show are

Voiceover Audio:

Joe's opinions are provided for general information purposes

Voiceover Audio:

only. They do not constitute accounting, legal, tax, or other

Voiceover Audio:

professional advice for your specific situation. You should

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always seek appropriate advice from a financial advisor,

Voiceover Audio:

accountant, lawyer or other professional before acting upon

Voiceover Audio:

any content or information found here first. Joe is affiliated

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with New Horizons Wealth Management LLC, a branch office

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of TFS Securities, Inc., and TFS Advisory Services an SEC

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Registered Investment Advisor Member FINRA/SIPC.

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