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If your networking follow-up ends with a stack of business cards on your desk, you didn't network, you just collected humans.

Renee Hribar unpacks why most people measure a networking event by the wrong number: how many people they met, not how many real pathways they created. She tells the story of a web designer, whose referrals had dried up despite showing up to every breakfast, mixer, and chamber event she could find — stacks of business cards, personalized LinkedIn requests, and zero new clients to show for it. The shift came when the web designer stopped trying to work the entire room and started getting genuinely curious about the handful of people she actually connected with, using real conversation instead of an elevator pitch to learn what they needed next.

Renee walks through exactly how to turn a good conversation into a natural follow-up that doesn't feel salesy or forced, then lays out a simple challenge for turning one lingering business card into a real next step. It's a practical reset for anyone who keeps leaving events with a fistful of contacts and no idea what to do with them.

Mentioned in this episode:

Mind Grow Radio Storytellers Series: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mind-grow-radio-storyteller-series/id1568724555 Zoom Playground on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@zoomplayground

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But the follow-through, well, let me know if any of this sounds familiar, right? Okay, you meet 17 people. You had some really nice conversations. You even followed three of them on LinkedIn while you were still sitting in your car before you even got home. Like, you are committed. One woman even said, "We should totally connect."

Because it's not about one sales conversation coming out of the whole thing. That's not networking. That's collecting humans. You just attend events, collect business cards, and then connect on LinkedIn. that is not how I would define networking. And today, I wanna change the way you think about networking altogether, because I don't think you need to meet more people.

So if you're gonna keep listening, welcome back to the Selling Your Expertise podcast. I'm your host, Renee Hribar, sales coach for B2B service providers and consultants who are sick and tired of being undervalued, disrespected, put on retainers, and can never get out from underneath underpaid work. It is not something that I want for you.

I help you package up, sell, and deliver your expertise in a way that goes way beyond just replacing your corporate income. And today, we're talking all about networking, right? 'Cause it's September. Hell yeah. Dusting off the business bag, and the, getting out the actual real shoes, not the flip-flops or the Crocs or whatever you've been living in all summer.

Oh, there's humans out there. That kind of networking, and if the word networking immediately makes you picture a hotel conference room, warm Chardonnay, bleh, and a business card orgy at the Chamber of Commerce, stay with me, because I don't want you to get better at that kind of networking. I want you to stop what most people think is networking, and think about it in this way.

Most people walk into a networking event with one measurement for whether it was successful. How many people did I meet? 10? 20? Did I get out all my cards? Did I hand them all out? I don't have any more cards left. I handed them all out. I even give some people extra, because they might know somebody. Did I get everybody's LinkedIn?

Nada. Nothing. And that's why in my Permission to Sell program, I cure this with, you know, what do I do next issue, with what I call pipeline drivers. Every Tuesday, we meet in what I call the pipeline room and talk about who we are bringing through a focused pipeline. Well, let me show you what I mean. I worked with a web designer who had years of experience, layers of skills.

But referrals had slowed way down, like call Roto-Rooter slow. Like, there's a clog here. Where is it? Like, check the pipes. She did what a lot of experts do when their referrals dry up. She decided to get out there more. I mean, and she did. She's fierce. B&I breakfasts, women's business groups, chamber events, coffee chats, online networking groups.

She was networking like it was an Olympic event. She was a gold medalist. And when we walked into these rooms, and this is, like, literally what she was describing to me. She would talk to everyone because you never know, right? That's what she's said, "You never know, right?" This person might need her.

She even got like LinkedIn Pro so that she could send those personalized notes with each connection. "Great meeting you at the chamber event in Tuscaloosa. Again, if you know anyone who has any website needs, send them my way." And then nothing Onto the next event. She was doing a lot of networking, but she wasn't creating any money out of it.

Claude, I love you, Claude. Don't hate me. But ready? Listen closely. The purpose of networking isn't to finish the sale. It's to identify the next conversation. That's a completely different perspective than most people approach networking with. After working with Rachelle for 12 weeks in my Permission to Sell program, she told me, "Renee, now I walk in the room differently."

And I'm not thinking, you know, "How many people can I meet?" Now I'm thinking, "What would I genuinely like to talk about with these specific people?" Boom, right? I was like, "Yeah, that's it, girl.That's, that's the ticket." Because sales happens through conversations, and networking simply gives us proximity, and what we need is a reason to continue the conversation.

Like, they get us close enough, these networking events, to another human, and all these things do, to start learning about them and to let them start learning about us, not, "Hello, my name is Renee, and if you know anyone with sales coaching needs, send them my way." Please don't ever do that. delete that.

What I mean is what is the type of person you're looking for? Like, who do you want more of in your business? Not, "Anyone who can pay me, Renee." No, that's not an answer. I have gotten that answer before. I'm like, "Stop it." Not, you know... Please. I'm sorry. I'm thinking about 17 scenarios that have literally been, "Anyone who can pay me."

you're devaluing yourself So think about this. Who do you really like working with for real? Like, maybe you're a copywriter who loves established consultants who have plenty to say but never send emails. That's your person. That's who you're looking for. Maybe you're an executive coach, and you love working with women who've just stepped into a much bigger leadership role.

You're not walking around trying to turn every person in the room into a prospect. You're looking for your people, and sometimes, and this is important, the person you meet isn't your person, but they know your person. This is where people miss so much opportunity. They think, "Well, she's not a potential client."

Stop it. Yeah, but because she might introduce you to three people who will, and that's biz dev, right? That's the, the core of building deep relationships. That's thinking more than one move ahead, right? Like, you wanna be the chess player in your own business, and I know you are big-hearted and caring, and so this should be very easy for you.

When you meet somebody, I want you to do something radically different than AI or anyone else might say because this is not a volume play. You do not get paid by how many business cards you collect. Okay, ready? When you meet people Genuinely be interested in them. I know, groundbreaking, earth-shattering.

"Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah." And now, like think about it, now you and the other person are both standing there waiting for your turn to give your ten-second elevator pitch. Bleh, barf. Instead, I teach women in my Permission to Sell program to get curious, to ask other people questions. Have you ever been... Like I know I've had chronic health situations, okay?

And I've seen doctor after doctor after doctor, and no one's got freaking answers for me until you find that one doctor that asks different freaking questions. And you're like, bam, you. You're the one. You're the one I've been missing. You're the one I've been needing. Because they, you know, before they even take one drop of blood, before they do one scan, you know they're different because of the questions that they ask you.

That's one question you can ask. Or another question like, "What's something exciting happening in your business this quarter? I'm always looking to collaborate when it makes sense." And then you listen. Not listen until you find an opening to tell them about your stuff. Actually listen with both ears and your heart because people tell you things.

They tell you what they're working on, what's frustrating them, what they're excited about, what they want, who they work with, what they're gonna do next, and all of that helps you develop pathways Maybe the person you're talking to says, "Yeah, we're growing so fast. Our onboarding is a disaster, though.

I know. You don't... Like, there's these two guardrails. Either I don't wanna be salesy, so I say zero, nothing, ever. And then the other one's like, "Hi, how you doing? You just said something great and very interesting. Here is what we need to do next. I'm gonna sell you this program." It's too fast, too soon. You have to let it sit.

Collect information. Ask questions. Listen with two ears and your heart. You don't need to whip out your calendar and yell, "Discovery call," and then hog tie 'em on the floor. Like, you need to listen, have a real conversation. Like, slow it down right here, even though you're like, "Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

And they ask you questions in return, if they do, please do not suddenly become a brochure, right? you don't need to talk about acronyms. If you say an acronym, like KPI, UTM, or CTR, I will hunt you down, okay? Just say it like a normal person to that, really just to that one person, because you are just talking to that one person.

You're not giving a TED Talk to the crudité, right? Poor vegetables. They never get eaten, even with the ranch. Okay, so then comes the part where networking falls apart. You go home. This is where Rachelle used to lose the entire thing, because she'd met someone she genuinely liked. They had a great conversation.

She thought, "Well, maybe I'll see her at the next event. You know, that's why BNI works so good. That's why I pay them all that money, so that I can just go to the next one, and the next one, and the next one. And maybe next time that other person will connect all the dots about me, and what I'm doing, and how I solve problems, and connect me."

No. No, no, no, no. People don't do that. They just don't. Following up is not- Starting a new conversation. It's not like you're knocking on some stranger's door like, "Hi, I have a vacuum to sell you." No, it's continuing the conversation you already started. Let me say that again slowly. Following up is not starting a new conversation.

Be like, "Hey, Susan. Loved our conversation about your new leadership program. You mentioned trying to figure out how to get managers actually using it after the training. I was thinking about that this morning. I've got something for you." That's continuity, right? Or maybe, "Hey, Susan, you mentioned you were trying to meet more HR leaders.

I know some I think you'd really like. Want me to introduce you?" Pathway, right? Or, "Hey, you mentioned that client retention issue. I have something that might be useful. Do you want me to send it over?" Pathway. Also, notice how every single correspondence ends with a question. If you don't ask questions, how are they supposed to answer you?

She stopped trying to work the entire room. She stopped measuring success by how many contacts she collected. She started going into events knowing who she wanted to meet, getting curious about the people she actually connected with, and leaving with a small number of clear reasons to continue the conversation.

And here's the payoff. She felt calm. No more coming home with 22 names and wondering what the heck she was supposed to do with all of them. And she started booking actual consulting conversations from the relationships she was already nurturing because she finally gave the networking somewhere to go.

But to start with a named and framed discovery call, not just a blatant discovery call where they come and trauma dump on you, 'cause those lead to paid, for her at least, website planning sessions that led to huge five-figure website builds and many more months of continued digital optimization consulting.

That's PS. It's a revenue silo that we created as the next step after the build she usually does. Before, she wasn't doing anything. I was like, "Ah, wait, hold on. You're leaving money on the table." And this is something I learned a long time ago building my first sales agency, because business is built in the follow-through.

The opportunity isn't always find more people. A, that feels wicked urgent and stressful. Sometimes it's create a better path with the people already in front of you. So here's your challenge for this week. One event, and if you don't have an event this week, fine. Use one you've already attended. I'm sure you got some business cards maybe under that pile of mail on your desk.

You know what I'm saying? Looking at my desk. I want you to identify one person, just one person. Don't make it a big deal. Don't make it harder than it is. Someone you genuinely enjoyed talking with, and then have a real reason to continue the conversation with them. Reach out today. The first sentence can be, "I was thinking about our conversation about..."

That's A-S-K-M-E-C-O-A-C-H.com. That's where I keep all the freshest ways to work with me, learn with me, and stay connected. You don't need a fistful of business cards. You need somewhere for the good conversations to go. Repeat after me. I create pathways to my pipeline. Ah, talk to you soon