Ep. 195 FINAL

Wanting to do a little bit of a deeper dive with this, and so there's been a lot of different special ways I've been doing this. But one of the things that I have been working through these last few weeks is my own workshop that I released a year ago called the Realign Your Life Workshop. This is a three week workshop that takes you through daily guided meditations, [00:01:00] prompts, reflection questions, exercises to help you take inventory of where your life, where your life is at, where you're coming from, where you want to go, what's keeping you from getting there.

And you guys know anything I put out into the world. Are all things that I myself use and love and find resonates so much. So this Realign Your Life Workshop really was kind of like the things I had been doing for myself every new year or again, that kind of mid-year point, which is what I'm doing this year.

I didn't do the Realign Your Life Workshop in January. I'm doing it now. So even before I created and launched this workshop, this is kind of what my own process of reflecting on the year was, and I just put it into this workshop format and then made some additional guided meditations and prompts, and I think made it really, really polished for you guys and super impactful.

So I will make sure in the show notes there is a link to the workshop and that discount code will be listed as well. Again, for any who wanna have a mid-year check-in with me, I think. Whether it's the start of the year, really, there's no bad time to take inventory of your life in a really, really deep, deep way where you're sitting and moving through this for three weeks looking deeply at all these different facets.

The other update I wanted to give is I wanted to get anyone on board with doing a ProLon Fast with me and some of the gals over at Ascent Adaptation. It has been so phenomenal. We really need to do like a podcast episode with like Heather, Heather Ker, the founder of Ascent and some of the other staff there, because we all have seen such profound results doing ProLon, that we are obsessed with it.

You don't have to miss out on anything. So July 6th is the next time we at Ascent and. Are gonna be doing the ProLon fast. And what's special though about this time is I set up a special Instagram broadcast channel where whoever wants to participate in this fast with us can join the channel. And we're going to be checking in every day with maybe our starting point tips, tricks, things we're experiencing.

And just be able to commune and connect through that. So in the show notes, there will be a link to purchase the ProLon, um, the ProLon seven day meal plan, excuse me, the ProLon five day meal plan. They're also right now having a Father's Day discount where you can get a hundred dollars off the five day meal kit plus a free their special L protein powder.

But for now, um, we're gonna start with the ProLon Fast. So again, all those links will be in the show notes. Those were the two big updates that I wanted to share 'cause I am actively. In these things and just would love to have some of you along the journey with me and to, and to get to be a part of your journey with some of these things as well.

So with that, on to today's guest, Carol Look.

Carol has used EFT tapping for over 25 years to help clients release their limiting beliefs and emotional conflicts. So they can enjoy lives of exceptional success and fulfillment. Carol is a world renowned EFT workshop presenter. She's regularly featured energy medicine expert on leading global telesummits and documentaries.

This was so much fun, first of all, because I felt like we just immediately got in step with each other. The conversation was so effortless and fluid. But one of the things that we talked about specifically in this is self-sabotage and why it is so difficult for so many of us to receive and experience abundance in all the different ways, not just financial abundance, abundance of love, of peace of.

And if you guys.

Her book, the Yes Code is out now talking about using EFT to clear self-sabotage. The book is super, super practical. There are a ton of prompts, guided EFT meditations that are really helpful. She was generous enough to send me a copy of her book and it has been absolutely fantastic. So with that, please enjoy this conversation with Carol.

And self-sabotage is one of my favorite topics to talk about. Um, speaking from a lot of personal experience Yes. And how trapped and confining that place can be. But when we start to bring in tools like EFT and unconscious work, how. You know how quickly we can start to see shifts. So I'm really excited for today's conversation, as am I.

And it could be what led you to psychotherapy, what led you to EFT, you know, what led you to write your book, the yes code that we're gonna be talking more about, but whatever you feel like just kind of helps us get a sense of Carol and thank you. Why you're on this journey, why it's so important to you.

Thank you. Well, I was in corporate. Because of family dysfunction and, and helping alcoholics in my family, that led me to psychotherapy and to become a psychotherapist. So that started then I was, had a doctoral degree in hypnosis and somebody in my hypnosis class said, you think that's fun? Which I do the unconscious and the conscious and making decisions and all of that.

And now I teach it all over the world. And I, I, you know, I say to people, if there's a better technique for me, I'll let you know, but I haven't found one that's better in my hands. So the results we get, you know, it is just incredible. So. That's a quick version of the, of the long story. I love it. And I've actually had two different EFT guests on Brad.

Yates is probably one you're very familiar with. Um, but I do think it's really fun. I don't wanna spend too much time defining EFT, but I do think it's fun to hear how different people explain it because sometimes everyone has a little bit of a different explanation that helps us understand it in different terms, in different imagery.

It calms down your fight or flight response in the brain. So if you're afraid of success, if you're afraid of failure, if you're having relationship issues, if you're having health issues, what gets triggered is that fight or flight's response in the brain. And then you're thinking your clarity goes offline and you're not really paying attention and you're not resourceful and you're not creative because you're scared.

And that's okay. 'cause that's normal. And that's human. And what we do is we bring down the fear response, then you can have clarity, then you start feeling resourceful, then you get creative, then you start having good ideas and you, you no longer block yourself from doing what you need to do and taking the next steps you need to take.

Not for success. That's why we get in our own way. We all, we care, all human beings care about is being safe. And if that means you're gonna gain 40 pounds, if that means you develop a tumor, if that means you wanna block your success at work or with money, that's what you'll do because it protects us.

Right, right. Because it all comes down to the, the perceived threat. Yes. But also the perceived protective mechanism. You just, you know, you just gave a really great example with weight, for example. Well, how on earth could I be self-sabotaging with weight? How on earth could this be protecting me? And you know, the first thought that comes into my mind is it's a very common pattern with individuals who've experienced some form of sexual trauma.

Yes. Love that. Expand the options. Also, people hold on to weight because they don't wanna feel Mm. Because overeating and being unhappy with your body are two ways that are very distracting from grief. Mm-hmm. From fear. So there are a lot, lot of things that weight or overeating or overdrinking, one of the sa big sabotage behaviors can do for us, which is just numb out our feelings completely.

Where did these beliefs come from? But now we're, we're like already jumping so far. Now we're into this conversation. I love it. But yes, that like, thank you. That's a very quick introduction to EFT tapping. I think what I'll say to that really quickly before getting more into self-sabotage is, one of the things I love about it is it's, it's free and it's simple and you can do it anywhere, anytime.

And that's huge. There are many, many amazing modalities that we can pay for, and there are so many free resources at our fingertips, EFT being one of them. And I wanna expand on what you were saying about settling the fight or flight in the amygdala, why that is so important and why I think that opens up so much more clarity because.

Because we're starting to talk about something that's triggering or uncomfortable. Those stress signals start to go off in the brain. And we know when we're in a stress response, literally parts of our brain shut down. Our hearing changes, our vision changes. And the analogy I often will give clients is if we're trying to look into your mind, body, and spirit and see what's going on, let's, let's imagine your mind, body, and spirit are like these tide pools.

Absolutely. And remember, trauma happens in the body, but we weren't taught that until recently. Mm-hmm. So talking about it doesn't help because you've gotta get into your nervous system, the sympathetic and parasympathetic branches of your nervous system in order to heal or clear something that you're holding onto in your body.

It's so profound, and you've said the right word, you said options. That's, that's what we're talking about is instead of narrowing, which is what anxiety and fear, they, they narrow our perspective, our thoughts, our feelings. What we're doing is expanding. So whether you're using evox or tapping or something else, we're expanding by calming down.

Wait a minute, I'm okay. Wait a minute. I can think of things. I can think of new ideas. I have options here. So it's between growing and expanding is what we're doing really. Yeah, absolutely. 100%. I find the unconscious is very rigid and likes to extrapolate that onto everything, right? So often there might be a belief from childhood of there was a really dangerous person, a really dangerous caretaker in my life.

Therefore all people are dangerous. And that extrapolation is a part of what we want to shift and expand. That maybe that's not, maybe that was true of them. Maybe that is true of some people. But is that really true of everyone? And that's what I, why I work with the fear of success so much because people, the number of people who go back to, well, I was in sixth grade and I was in fourth grade, and they stood out.

Mm-hmm. Because not everybody has it. Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited to get into this. I think where I wanna start this conversation is what are some of the ways you see people self-sabotaging the most in general, but also when it comes to, you know, success and abundance specifically? I think there's a lot of crossover there, but I think there's also some distinction.

Sometimes the self-sabotage is so subtle and covert. Yes. And it's happening in these very, and I'm happy to share some of my own, uh, patterns of self-sabotage that I've worked on and continue to revisit. But I'd love to hear from your experience some of those things that you see most commonly. So there are probably 20, 30, 40, 50 ways that we can get in our own way.

Self-sabotage just means you're slowing yourself down. You have resistance. And people say, well, how do I know if I'm using sabotage? Look at your bank account. Look at your body, look at your relationships. Are you where you wanna be? If not, you have put the brakes on. So the top seven that I use in the book, just because they're the, the biggest umbrellas are procrastination.

So any kind of avoidance, people pleasing, right? So try to please someone else instead of following your own answers. Perfectionism. Boy, does that get, does that get in our way? Any kind of addictions? It can be on, you know, it can be on Facebook, it can be drinking, it could be drugging, it could be smoking, eating, doesn't matter.

Emotional clutter and physical clutter. And then the final one that many practitioners and coaches and pe you know, we all have is, uh, neglecting your self-care. Mm-hmm. Training of coaches and EFT practitioners and, uh, therapists and neglecting selfcare, I'm afraid, is really high on what we can do to ourselves that gets in our own ways, just not taking care of ourselves enough.

And on some level we've just kind of come to go, well, this is life. This is what life is. This is just how relationships are life. You know, finances are always just kind, you know, stressful. I always need to be worried about money, and we just sort of come to expect that as the norm. And of course, holding nuance and tension here of, yes, we're not saying in clearing self-sabotage every day will be perfect and beautiful.

There is turbulence in life, but I do think some of us are living in a low grade chaos that we don't realize we don't need to be, myself included. Listen, remember, it's not the turbulence, it's your reaction to it. So sure money can be there, economy, economic problems can be there, family issues can be there.

Mm-hmm. Success often shows up as not making clear decisions, which is one of the more subtle ways. In other words, instead of, you know, just procrastinating and not putting out your website, it might be this idea of, oh, it's danger. You might feel it's unsafe to be crystal clear. Mm-hmm. Right. Well, to that end, what I'm hearing is the procrastination, the perfectionism, the addictions are the mode of mechanism.

So in order to get there, I ask my favorite questions. The first one is, what's the upside of staying stuck? 'cause people come to me and come to my workshops and say, oh, I'm stuck and I've been stuck for a long time and I can't get out of it. Well, what's the upside? And at first they'll say, upside, don't be.

So, there's no up. Yes, there's an upside, or else you wouldn't be doing it. And underneath that question, finally the people come out with, oh, I'm afraid to stand out. I'm afraid to be visible. And procrastination helps me. Oh, I'm afraid to be sh to really shine and be successful. So if I make up drama or in get involved with someone who's dramatic, then it slows me down.

You know, throw another behavior at it instead of, well, why would someone be addicted? What's it doing for them to, and addicted to anything, you know? Why would someone be so afraid of being visible? What is it about being visible? I was just doing running a class and someone said, well, I don't wanna be above the radar.

It is the one product in my life that I have been the most loyal to, that I keep going back to year after year after year, because. It's so clean, but also so impactful. For those who are new to Herbal Face Food, their product is the most potent antioxidant, anti-aging skincare brand on the market period.

They contain 25 of the world's most powerful botanicals, including the top five rarest, most expensive plant concentrates on the planet, thousands of times more potent than something like Vitamin C, which is a really common antioxidant product on the market right now. Something I think is worth pointing out is it, it seemingly has a high price tag, but the herbal face food serum is the only product I am using on my face.

Mm-hmm. And what are some of those life experiences that might create. Narratives like this, it's safer to be under the radar, and I'm again, happy to give some of my own personal examples I'm thinking of. For me, a fear of being seen is absolutely one of the reasons behind self-sabotage. And really we should say what is self-sabotage?

And, um, that, you know, that was another way where it just was like, I'm, I'm, I, I'm too busy, I'm too nervous. No, I can't see those clients today. And I'd cancel. And as soon as there'd be any kind of momentum, something would happen seemingly out of my control, that would lead me to cancel clients or reschedule them or push something off that really would help my business continue to grow.

And when I did that deeper inquiry within myself, I think it's multifaceted, right? But one of those pieces certainly was this narrative around it's not safe to be seen. And if the breaks aren't on in some way, yeah, I'm gonna be seen very quickly. But even deeper than that, it's this question of, well, why is being seen dangerous?

'cause there's no reason to put a lid on yourself unless you have that. So that's why it's important to understand that everybody has different, a different, uh, recipe, you know, of their self-sabotage behaviors. Yes, we can say it's obviously a protective behavior, but self-sabotage. How do you find it? Just go look at the slowing down.

Just go look at what's your in, in your way. Just go look at that you, that you are putting the brakes on. Mm-hmm. That you have clear, no matter what you blame it on, you know, the economy, your spouse, the, you know, whatever's going on. You've put the brakes on and it's for a good reason. Stop criticizing yourself and start looking at why would I be afraid of being.

Um, I wanna go there, but what I wanna take a second to speak about is, you know, we're talking about abundance. And abundance can absolutely be financial abundance. And I also think it could be, you know, an abundance of peace in my relationship. Yes. And abundance of beauty in my home, and abundance of recip, reciprocal friendships.

And she went, I can't believe I just said that out loud. Where does it come from? What happened with her parents, with her family? So it is not just money. It is about all things we want in our life, and it's available to us if we keep looking at these behaviors and the why. The why behind the behavior. The behavior's fine, right?

Someone says, oh, you have clutter. Clean it up. Someone says you're overweight. Go on a diet that's not gonna work because behaviorally it's not gonna stick. Mm-hmm. You've gotta get to what you're talking about. Go underneath the unconscious. The conscious, the conscious answers sometimes are pretty clear and pretty good, but the unconscious, the confusing answer, that's what we wanna get to be, as you said, not logical because the unconscious is running the show.

It's like a magnet pulling us into a behavior, pulling us into an emotional state. And consciously we might be able to use our willpower and our grit to counterforce that magnet for a period, but that is exhausting and most people are only gonna be able to do that for a little bit of time before the magnet inevitably wins.

It's why some people can do positive behavior for two weeks, three weeks, go to the gym for the first month of the year, you know, give up smoking, clean up their car, you know, do everything they need to in their business, and then they fall off, or they forget. They say, oh, I was supposed to do something positive every day for my business.

Hmm. What happened after two weeks? Well, you were pushing it from the conscious viewpoint and the unconscious inevitably won and said, oh, no, no, we don't. We don't want you to be successful, so we're gonna put a roadblock up. Mm-hmm. That's another answer to when people say, well, how do I know that I'm really getting in my own way?

You know, I'll think of another one. For years and years and years I struggled with really feeling like I had people who knew me deeply and I could rely on, even though I had wonderful family, some, a few really good friends, there always was this feeling of like, oh, but why can no one really know me? And then I finally realized, oh, it's because I'm not letting them.

And you do that deeper inquiry of, okay, there's this conflict conscious unconscious conflict. A part of me is yearning for this deep, deep connection, which involves letting people in. And then another part of me is keeping everyone at arms distance. And why. And for me, I do know a part of that. You know, ultimately what surfaced in my own unconscious inquiry was if I actually do let anyone in, they'll find out about this abuse.

Some of me wants it, some of me doesn't want it. And then you figure that out. And um, one of the first things that I healed in myself accidentally, by the way, with tapping, was a strong, a terrible habit of insomnia. And it was a habit. And when I asked the questions and really got to the bottom of it, it was because I didn't wanna miss something.

I was raised alcoholics and I was afraid to miss. Is somebody drinking? Is somebody not drinking? Is there gonna be a car accident? You know, what's going on? Wait, I lived waiting for something bad to happen. It, which is d different kind of trauma than someone who has a huge thing and a big abuse, or a big car accident or whatever.

I felt safe enough to unhook from that fear, that age time in my life and just let go. And it was, I mean, talk about changing your health. Then of course that changed my health dramatically changed my productivity at work, changed everything. But it was a similar that to what you're saying, a part of me thought there was real value in being anxious and up at night and worrying, and, oh, what could happen?

Absolutely. And being able to bring those to the surface, it helps us understand, is this just a misperception that was never true or was this true then? And what needs to be expanded is the reality that that might not be true anymore, or I have so much more autonomy to protect myself from that abs. Uh, absolutely great way to say it because most things were true and did happen the way people remember them.

Yes. You weren't safe. Oh, you need to catch up. You need to catch up to where you are now. You're older now. You have different mechanisms, you have different, um, emotional responses. Those people aren't in your life in the same way. You don't have to feel five years old anymore because now you're in your twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, whatever.

After age 12. We're a totally different, totally different human being than under age 10. So, yes, completely. And can we talk about how it's not just experiences that would be labeled quote unquote trauma? Yeah. That can create these limiting beliefs or narratives. So it's not just experiences, it can be beliefs.

You can be told to believe that other people are dangerous or that wealthy people are greedy, or that poor people are something, or that men are, you know, fill in the blank. You can be told that without having had an experience of it, and you think, well, my mother told me that, so maybe it's true. You don't, you don't question it again at a certain age.

Someone else who's afraid. So it becomes this ancestral thing. It can be generations of people who, you know, fill in the blank again, didn't like other people, didn't think it was safe to be talking to other people, didn't think it's all, again, all about safety. Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. I think that's really powerful because I do see sometimes this misconception that someone's coming in going, well, I haven't, I haven't experienced trauma, so why am I having such a hard time with this?

Exposed. Felt like somebody was intrusive, thought the atmosphere, or felt the atmosphere was unsafe. Neglect is a form of trauma. Mm-hmm. So people will say, well, my parents never hit me. They were never there, but they never hit me. Well, if they're never there and you don't feel safe when you're seven years old, you're going to, your body will experience it as traumatic, always looking up your shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It's not safe. You don't know where, when dinner's gonna come. Right. You don't feel the parameters or the guardrails that are supposed to be there for the first decade, first two decades of your life. So that can create a sensation of trauma. It's very important that we let the client say what feels traumatic to them.

And that completely changes the realm of this because I can think back to, you know, experiences in. First grade where I, you know, had no intention to, but I accidentally ended up hurting another kid on the playground. And then I got written up and in trouble and I was devastated. Devastated. And no one, I don't think anyone is really, you know, now maybe things are shifting, but traditionally no one would've looked at that and been like, yes, that's a trauma.

Uhhuh, which you have much of, right? So you come out of the doctor's office, I mean, you come out of the exam room into the doctor's office and they say, I have bad news. And you're not expecting bad news. You're expecting to have your annual talk with the doctor. They say, we have bad news, and you're, you're vulnerable, then you freeze.

There's the fight, flight, freeze mechanism. You go, oh, what, what? Right? And you don't metabolize the information properly, which is why they always say, bring somebody with you when you're to the doctor's appointment, because they'll say something. And if it scares you, takes one width of fear for your nervous system to say, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I didn't take in the information. I'm not, did I even ask the right questions? So many people have that. They have it when a relationship goes south too. People say, well, what happened in the relationship? And they say, I don't really know, because somebody said we need to talk. And after that sentence, we need to talk.

Their brain goes offline. Mm-hmm. So again, we're all looking for the big car accident and the big trauma, childhood abuse. It's like, don't we need to look at the, what looks smaller to us? But that shook somebody's nervous system, rattled them. So if you ask and listen very carefully for the answer, people are very honest and say, actually a car accident didn't bother me that much, but let me tell you what happened when I was in third grade and somebody teased me in front.

Where is this coming from? Because again, logically you might be able to think yourself through all the things, right? Whatever it might be. Um, I think finances might be a big way. People self-sabotage. Logically they know what their income is, they know what they should be spending every month, and yet month after month they keep overspending.

Well, awareness is fabulous 'cause you can't do anything without the awareness. But then you got, then you need a technique to, I'll use the same word you did, metabolize the fear out of your body. Out of your body and your mind. So talking about something and just being clear and having the awareness, oh, that's where it came from.

It's not enough. 'cause it's still there. And if trauma happens to the body, then we've gotta do something, any technique that includes the body and the mind, we need to then process, metabolize, move through whatever the conflict is. So it's usually an emotional conflict or a belief conflict. And then that shows up as our behavior, right?

That brings up the material. If it's gentle enough and the person feels safe enough, they'll say, oh, I remember what happened. My friend was really jealous the last time I was successful and, and took a little snarky pot shot at me and you know, whatever. I'm making it up, right? And then, okay, so now we have it on the table.

The information is there. Now what are we gonna do with it? You can't just talk about it for three months. You need to have some, some way to say, yes, that did happen. Acknowledge it, you know, validate it, and then say, and you're safe now. And moving things through the body and through the nervous system, that's where the healing is.

First of all, when it comes to skincare in general, because my skin is so sensitive, but especially when it comes to lotions, I usually hate most lotions on the market. So I was absolutely ecstatic when Herbal face food finally released theirs because it has over 200. Potent botanicals, including some of nature's most powerful rejuvenators, like green coffee, turmeric, wild chamomile that help repair damage, brighten the skin, enhance overall smoothness, as well as exotic butters like Maru Maru to Kuma Cuppa Cow.

Check the show notes for a discount code for 30% off your first order. Uh, this is like, yes, this needs to be on billboards, because I just think sometimes that's where a lot of things stop. And again, it's very empowering initially just to have that awareness. But now we have this awareness and we're still stuck in the pattern.

And then all that shame and guilt and blame comes back of like, how can I still be in this? I know where it's coming from and yet I'm still in this. And this is where I wanna talk a little bit more about what it takes sometimes to shift those deeper narratives and how, you know, one of the things you talk about is the law of attraction is only part of the story.

So if you're trying with affirmations and pushing with affirmations, and I wanna be better and feel better and do more and make more money, that's what lasts for a couple of weeks. Sometimes only a few days if you're not in alignment. And what makes you feel in alignment? Head, heart. Gut is a belief system that says, I deserve abundance is mind set.

That says, and I can get, there is other beliefs that say, I have what it takes, right? So if you're not in alignment, you will get in your own way. You'll sabotage because it feels normal. Mm-hmm. You only make X dollars a year and then you double it. Next year you're gonna feel uncomfortable. So we're really soothing the discomfort.

What's the downside? And he said, I've always been seen, seen as the screw up in my family. What's gonna happen if I'm the successful one and I'm no longer borrowing money from them and I actually get promoted. He was the youngest of four or five kids. You know, what's gonna, what is that gonna look like to them and to me.

So he was awkward in it, didn't quite get it yet, you know, didn't, didn't feel like he fit the part. And that's something else that the tapping can alleviate so that you get back in alignment, all set up, you know, ready for the success rather than, ah, a part of me doesn't want it, A part of me does. If you've got a, you know, part on both sides, there's gonna be a tug of war.

It's not 29-year-old me who's actually afraid of the thing. It's probably 3-year-old me right? Or 6-year-old me. And so adult me just dialoguing with adult me is not gonna get me very far. And also adult, me coming to three-year-old me and being like, oh my God, you're just so limited and ridiculous and scared.

If the three-year-old has not been soothed and been taught you are okay now Absolutely validate the three-year-old, you weren't okay back then or the 14-year-old. Mm-hmm. You weren't okay in high school. It wasn't safe. Something happened. Um, and again, it could be as small, uh, which isn't small, but being humiliated in class, being yelled at by the teacher, being yelled at by your father, mother in front of the kid, other, you know, your classmates.

It could be something. Again, that's not one of the, considered one of the biggies, right? So people keep saying, oh, well here's what you need to do. Here's what you program you need to buy. Here's what you can do. Take this, these steps. It's not about steps. It's about soothing and healing that nervous system.

Mm-hmm. You'll away not to hold onto it. And people, when they can laugh at their behavior, that's a great awareness. Now we have to do something different. Now. We have to energetically gets you to a place where you can feel good about doubling your income, having much more abundance, being out there on stage, or writing your book, or you know, having a peaceful, loving, deep relationship.

Whatever it is that people want. And if you know, we all want, we all want a lot of things, but the answer is the same. You have to feel congruent with it. Mm-hmm. Completely good idea for you. Right. And I, I have found, I don't know if you've seen this, that with each new it's, it's less of like, well, I just cleared those fears.

Not usually in such a deep and intense way as I had to in the very, very beginning. It's much more gentle now and it clears much faster. But I just have seen that be the pattern in my life. Is that a little bit of what you've seen too? Absolutely. So sometimes every five pounds somebody loses, they have to re-look at.

The fears, the safety issue. Am I comfortable there? And I do it with money. It may be every $10,000 more that you earn a year or 20,000 or whatever your level is. And each time you go up a notch, it's like, whoa, that's a new me. And then you have, you address that. You figure out the discomfort. Where is it in your body?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm allowed to be here no matter what my family said or did, or no matter what the teacher said or the coach said, or my last boss said, I'm allowed and I deserve to be here. Which means you deserve to receive the success and the abundance. Yeah, completely. It's, it's allowed to happen. I'm also thinking of, you know, relationship turbulence and any number of different narratives.

It's a perfect example because. Many times people don't look at the relationship challenges. They look at something more like money and sabotaging basic procrastination. Procrastination is the most common self-sabotage behavior, and everybody talks about it. But what about feeling uncomfortable? Because relationship drama is everywhere around you and you're gonna be the first one that has a peaceful, loving, deep, committed relationship.

Uh oh. It's called rocking the boat, right? You're going to rock the boat with other people, which happens with financial success. It happens with health in your body, and it happens, as you just said. Perfect example with relationships. Mm-hmm. A hundred percent. So I know we've already been chatting and oh my gosh, I mean, the time has flown by.

What else are you guiding people through? Um, let's go there. Okay. So the yes code is a simple, simple version of taking you through steps to figure out what's going on, what's in your way, and how do you get out of it. So step one is clarify your vision. And everybody says, well, I don't wanna be in dead anymore.

Well, that's not clarifying your vision. That's what you don't want, right? Someone says, I'm sick and tired of the men I keep dating, so they wanna start new dating practices. Well, you know, what do you want? Instead? Someone says, I'm tired of my body being in pain. Well, what do you want instead? Oh, I wanna feel healthy enough that I can take a walk every morning, or I wanna have enough abundance that I can go out to dinner and actually go on vacation every year.

We understand your fears and your beliefs and your behaviors. Now let's get to work and unpack them and clear them with a technique like tapping. So that's, and I give tons of examples and scripts and ways to do that. And then the final step, step three is find your next. Yes. And what we do is we tend to bite off way more than we can choose someone's, I'm gonna sell my house and move to California.

Somebody else like it's time for a divorce. No, it's not. It's time to take a small step. What do you need to do? You need to, you know, find out more information. You need to talk to the kids. You need to talk to your boss. You have a conversation first, or break it down into something very small that feels again, comfortable for you and you feel in alignment with it.

Get a system, what are you gonna do to get there? Oh no, but I have a vision for it. I know you do, but let's get a system in place. Right? So the find your next Yes. Is the final step. And then you can go around and around. I had to do that about the book. I had to put myself through the yes code, which is clarify your vision.

I wanted to help many more people have much more impact, get my work out there more, even though I've been around for a while and have a practice and travel all over the place. And then I had to find out what my fears were. Well, my fears were that everybody in my family's gonna read the book because it's a lot about my personal story for the first time, right?

That's why I have a simple system and that works. That's what I do with clients. What's the challenge? What's your vision? What's in the way? Clear. Tap, tap, tap and clear. And now what is the next step for right now? Mm-hmm. But in two years I, I know. I know. What's the step right now? Mm-hmm. I love this. And there's two things I wanna highlight in what you just said.

In those processes. One, I do find that a lot of people can tell you what they don't want. And then when you ask them, so what is it? What is it you're trying to shift into? There's kind of a blank look on their face. And I think that is just as important because saying, I don't want debt anymore. Well, saying the opposite still isn't very helpful.

Like that's where we need to go. Yes. And what is your lifestyle? What are you looking for? Ease and calm and grace and peace and relaxation, not just money in the bank. Yes. And that's not just about money in the bank. It's about what are you gonna do with it? How do you want to feel and how do you want your life to look like?

What do you want your lifestyle to be? So yeah, people come in with a negative all the time and I just help them turn it around. Okay. What would it look like if you didn't have that? What is it that you're really going for? 'cause we do need something to shoot for. It's like, oh, I know when I'll get there.

It can't just be, stop doing that. 'cause then we might stop, but now we're just at a standstill on a path and we're not moving anywhere. What is the new path we're gonna walk down instead? So that is a really something I wanted to highlight in what you pointed out. Thank you. The second thing I wanna highlight again, and we already touched on this, is it's.

It's a lifestyle practice to be in relationship with yourself. In this way, it's not a, well, I wanna do this work really hard for one year so that I never have any limiting beliefs that ever hold me back ever again. This is so much less of a, I don't know, like a, a. Quick fix or even a treatment versus more.

But that also is always sort of happening in very subtle, gentle ways too. But I think if we get, if we're able to look at it from that mindset, that it also helps clear a lot of urgency around, oh my gosh, I just need to clear it all in one go. And also when those little blocks or those tension come up, or the stuckness comes up again, it's not this like devastating thing of, oh my God, why am I here again?

Beautifully said, really put nicely. It is just, we have to be forgiving. We have to see that we're human, that the world does happen. You know, I was just talking to someone who's two hours delayed on their flight and is gonna screw up their next flight. Things happen, stress comes up. How do we handle it?

We're not working on ourselves 24 hours a day. That would be exhausting, right? Mm-hmm. We just need to be present and live our life and really notice. Oh, I don't like that pattern. How I'm talking to my sister, my brother, my colleague. I don't like that pattern. I wanna change that. I don't like how I people please, or I'm noticing that I'm sabotaging a little bit with sugar, chocolate, eating, you know, whatever.

And then we can say, huh, what do I think about that? More importantly, how do I feel about that? Mm-hmm. And what's underneath it? What's the reason, what's underneath it? Yeah. And just that deep understanding that, you know, it's not that your mind hates you. Oh, and is trying to drag you down and has betrayed on you.

For me, this is unknown for me. And on some level, if we wanna talk, just really primally, the nervous system is always gonna label the unknown as a threat initially. Mm-hmm. And so being able to understand that, that this is not my mind, body and spirit trying to sabotage me, it's only trying to protect me.

And if I can approach it from that place, that change is the whole energy and dynamic about it. Wonderful. That, and I love helping people understand, oh, it's just information. No, it's not. It's this bad thing that, no, it's just information. Yeah. But then I, it's just information and when you can have that attitude, it softens it.

Now a couple final questions. One, do, do you still do one-on-one work outside of purchasing your book? What other ways can people engage with you, interact with you? Thank you so much. I still do, uh, limited amount of one-to-ones. Um, I'm often teaching at conferences, different places, and I do these quarterly series.

Are six calls, very low costs for people who can't do the, uh, high-end coaching, where I take a big group of people and lead them through tapping sequences, maybe four to six hours a month. So they, they sign up and they get four or six classes, and it's a, the one I'm running right now is called Yes to Abundance.

Thank you carol look.com is the best place to find out everything. And if you buy the book, there is a, uh, there's a QR code in the book in many places that'll take you to a place where you can put in your name and address and get a bunch of free videos from me and some PDFs. So that's really fun. If you get the book, go, go there and you get a lot of free materials about tapping, so that's fun.