It feels harder than ever to find balance and joy. How do you energize your happiness, and focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want? Award-winning positive psychologist and motivational speaker Niyc Pidgeon shows us how with the gold from her inspiring book, Now Is Your Chance.    

We go over some strategies to help you invest time and energy in choices that take you where you want to go. Niyc says to “name and claim” your fears to take away their power. The “Best Possible Self” letter is one of many tips she shares for tapping into your strength and resilience.  

Whether you’re struggling to know what to do or you have big dreams and want to achieve them, you’ll get loads of tangible tools and inspiration to go after what you want!   

TESS’S TAKEAWAYS  

• Use positive psychology to find happiness, joy, and fulfillment.  
• Trauma and uncomfortable experiences serve your personal growth.  
• Upgrade your responses and be a person who makes choices rather than excuses.  
• Be consistent with your commitment to be better. Bring your power back to the moment.  
• Stay curious about your experiences, and actively listen to stay in a teachable mindset.  
• Choose to energize your happiness rather than energize your suffering.   
• You control more of your happiness than you think.  
• Direct your mind to what you want as opposed to what you don’t want.  

MEET NIYC PIDGEON 

An award-winning positive psychologist, motivational speaker, business mentor, and author of Now Is Your Chance and One More Day, Niyc Pidgeon is obsessed with activating people to create more joy, personal power, and success within themselves and their businesses.   

Niyc has inspired entrepreneurs around the world with her positive attitude and rags-to-riches story of making $100,000 in 100 days working out of a friend’s spare room using her suitcase as a desk!   

As the founder of online training empire Unstoppable Success® and creator of the Positive Psychology Coach Academy Certification® program, Niyc has coached thousands of people to create million-dollar companies and positive social change.    

Recognized by Forbes as a “Legendary Entrepreneur,” Niyc has won awards for Young Entrepreneur of the Year 2015, Psychology Book Of The Year 2017, and others.  

As angel investor, philanthropist, partner with Virgin Unite, and United Nations Ambassador to end violence against women, Niyc is on a mission to help a billion people become more mentally healthy.  

CONNECT WITH NIYC PIDGEON 

Website: www.niycpidgeon.com  

Now Is Your Chance: https://www.amazon.com/Now-Your-Chance-Happiest-Psychology/dp/178180804X/ 

One More Day: www.onemoredaybook.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/niycpidge/ 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/niycpidgeon/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/niyc-pidgeon/ 

Meet Tess Masters:  

Tess Masters is an actor, presenter, health coach, cook, and author of The Blender Girl, The Blender Girl Smoothies, and The Perfect Blend, published by Penguin Random House. She is also the creator of The Decadent Detox® and Skinny60® health programs.     

Health tips and recipes by Tess have been featured in the LA Times, Washington Post, InStyle, Prevention, Shape, Glamour, Real Simple, Yoga Journal, Yahoo Health, Hallmark Channel, The Today Show, and many others.   

Tess’s magnetic personality, infectious enthusiasm, and down-to-earth approach have made her a go-to personality for people of all dietary stripes who share her conviction that healthy living can be easy and fun. Get delicious recipes at TheBlenderGirl.com.  

Connect With Tess: 

Website: https://tessmasters.com/  

Podcast Website: https://ithastobeme.com/   

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theblendergirl/  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theblendergirl/  

Twitter: https://twitter.com/theblendergirl  

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/theblendergirl  

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tessmasters/  

Get Healthy With Tess 

Skinny60®: https://www.skinny60.com/  

Join the 60-Day Reset: https://www.skinny60.com/60-day-reset/ 

The Decadent Detox®: https://www.thedecadentdetox.com/  

Join the 14-Day Cleanse: https://www.thedecadentdetox.com/14-day-guided-cleanses/ 

The Blender Girl: https://www.theblendergirl.com/  

Thanks for listening!  

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So life can feel really hard right now, with the wars and tragedies and society being so divided about the best path forward, let alone our own personal struggles and losses and disappointments. It can be challenging to find balance and energize the things that we want to bring into the world as opposed to the things that we don't. So I read a fantastic book earlier this year called now is your chance by Niyc Pidgeon. She's a positive psychologist and has some fantastic tangible strategies for how you can find those are pockets of joy, and happiness and fulfillment, and bring in the life that you want. So I had a really inspiring conversation with Niyc and I was thrilled when she agreed to be a guest on the podcast so that you can experience some of her magic and get some of these tips and strategies from her. This is going to be a bit a bit of a different episode than some of the others that you may have listened to in the sense that I'm not going to dive as much into next personal story as inspiring and incredible as it is, she's really honest about it in her books. But I wanted to take this time to give you as many tips and strategies as possible from her. And thankfully, she was right on board with that agenda. She's so generous, and really is on a mission to help as many people as possible, find the light and find that focus and energize the life that they want. So if you're struggling right now to find that path forward, and feel that happiness and joy and fulfillment, this is the episode for you. So let's get the skinny from Niyc Pidgeon. Hello, everybody. I gotta tell you that I couldn't sleep last night because I was so excited about interviewing Niyc Pidgeon. I read her book, now is your chance. And I loved it so much that I just had to have her as a guest on the podcast, because it's so simple and actionable. And so we're just gonna dive right in Niyc Pidgeon, if you do not know who she is, oh, let me tell you. She is an award winning positive psychologist. And we'll talk about what that is in a minute. a motivational speaker, a business mentor, she's on a mission to just activate your full potential and happiness and joy and fulfillment. And she's the host of the podcast unstoppable success. And we all want more of that right? And the author of the best selling book, now is your chance in the upcoming book one more day. So Niyc , thank you so much for joining me.

Thank you for having me. I'm so excited as well.

Yeah, we had a lovely conversation the other day, it kind of just just made me all kind of warm and gooey inside. So just so we're all starting from the same knowledge base, because I think you know, the terms happiness and fulfillment and joy. We've also got a bit of a different definition about what those things are. So can you share what your definition and how you differentiate between those three things in your book? Yes, for sure.

So joy is one of the positive emotions. So it's one of those top kind of tier emotions that feel really good to us that open up our thinking. And it's up there with things like love and enthusiasm and gratitude. It's also like a think about joy is like it's this high, high. It's like this frequency, it's we're able to get on that level. And then we're able to attract the things that we want into our lives. I also think of joy as something that we can intentionally create moments of within our life's experience, and within our weekend within our day. Then fulfillment I think of that as it's the feeling that we get, I mean, if you describe what it is fulfillment, it's that feeling of being full. And that sense of satisfaction that we receive from an experience. So perhaps we feel fulfilled to our work or to the impact that we're creating, and then happiness. So happiness, I feel like people think of that as a goal. People think like when I get to this thing, then I'm gonna have it all. Happiness is a state. Happiness is a feeling. And it's, it's something that we can have right now. It's not something that needs to go out into the future, and be on this kind of never ending quest to get it. It's something that we can have right now. And we also don't actually have to be happy all the time. Oh, I

love that. I love that because we feel like we're failing, if we're not happy, or enjoy or I love one of the things that so many things that you said in your book, but one of the things where you talked about how you move beyond this idea that happiness was about being just it was beyond positivity. Just going back to what you said about that it was about being full experiencing your life. fully. So can you talk about that with through the lens of positive psychology? Can you just define that for everybody and how that opened up for you where you went beyond positivity or chasing just positivity? And then it became more of how these things blur within each other in terms of states?

Absolutely. So positive psychology, it's the science of happiness, and it's how people, businesses and communities can thrive. Now, what's interesting about that is even when people know that it's about how we can live bigger, better lives and be more optimally functioning, people still think, Oh, well, it's just think positive and be happy all of the time. Now, it's actually not that. So positive psychology, it's an evidence based science, where we run experiments to see what it is that makes life worth living. We look at human strength and virtue, we look at performance, we look at success. And we look at the conditions that are needed in order for us to thrive. Now, as well as looking at how we can go from good to great. One of the ways that we can do that is we're actually looking at the challenges. We're accepting the challenges that we experience, and we're looking within them to see the lessons, the blessings, and how we've actually grown because of them, not just to spite them. So I think it's a it's it was birth, really two big brilliant counterbalance to psychology as usual, which focused so much on disorder and disease, and looked at, okay, so if you've got these symptoms, then you're categorized with this particular mental illness. So positive psychology really looked at giving us an opportunity to see what's good in the world, and to ask the question, what's working? When it comes to happiness, I think this idea of the concept of happiness, like I used to, I grew up and I was constantly hearing people say, When I'm happy, I'll be this or when I have the money, I'll be happy. Or when I have the dream body, I'll be happy. Or when I have the dream relationship, I'll be happy. So it's almost like, I grew up thinking that happiness was attached to something that was outside of ourselves, and it was somewhere to get to. So when you think that there's somewhere to get to, there's a gap in between where you're at right now and where you want to be. And that gap can feel very challenging, it can feel like it's hard, it feels like you're constantly seeking and striving for something. And when you are focused only on a goal or a destination. It's like this treadmill that we get out. It's called hedonic adaptation. So it's the idea that as soon as we get to the goal, it kind of goes further away from us. And now we're chasing the next thing, because the money didn't make us happy, or the partner didn't make us happy. So now happiness is even further away.

Yes, I love that term, because we all want to be hiddenness, or hedonistic, or hedonist, depending on your accent, right? I love I really love this idea of just connecting happiness and joy, how you talked about finding moments or pockets of joy every day. And you have, what I loved about your book I love about your book in the present tense is just the really tangible daily practices, and there are many of them, that you give over the course of the 30 days. So listeners, you can read this book, just sort of five or seven minutes a day. And it's a 30 day sort of program that you go through reading this book, where the compounding effects of layering in the strategies that Niyc gives you. It just opens you up in the most extraordinary ways. So I want to ask you about where the opening began for you. So you talked about this in your book, how you determined at around 11 years old when you were bullied? At so can you tell me about that? How that began the opening for you of just thinking about this stuff?

Yeah, I mean, I got bullied really terribly back in high school by girls that actually wanted to physically fight. And looking back on that experience. It actually gave me so much because it started a path for me of really Reclaiming my voice and starting to understand more about who I am. I also look back at the choices and the decisions that my parents made at that time, which ended up being really really pivotal to my life because I had to change schools. So that was a day I used to get bullied the worst and we call it in the UK PE so it's like physical education. We call that in Australia. Totally. Oh, yeah. So in PE, that was where the lesson wasn't a structured so I couldn't just sit in my seat and do my work and get on with things and ignore the bullies. It was a little bit more fluid. And I always felt like I was like, I did get more attacked, and there were situations and there was a Tuesday morning where I didn't want to go to school, the school hadn't done anything about it. My parents had been in there was no kind of progress. And before school, I told my parents that I didn't want to go and and I ended up taking all of the medicine in my mom's medicine cabinet, all of the painkillers that I could find and I had a attempted suicide, aged 11 which I then panicked because I started to feel really really unwell. So I told my mum what I done, and she called my dad who was at work, and got him to come home from work and they took me to the hospital took me out of school, I was in hospital for two days, took me out of school and I was homeschooled for six months, because we couldn't find another school for me to go to that was in the same geographical catchment area. And then I got into the new school and the new school I was only able to go to because my parents decided to remortgage the house to be able to afford to send me there. Now when you're young, you don't fully appreciate the choices your parents made. So growing up, and I kind of got into my 20s. And then it dawned on me, I was like, that was a huge decision for my parents to make, like after they've worked so hard to achieve what they've achieved. And to put that put a bet on this kid to say like I believe in this kid enough to give her another chance at life

and love the love the love. You talk in the is it the foreword or the acknowledgments about your parents knowing that you're a bookworm. And that, you know, because you talk about, you know, how geek is chic. I love that, about how just soaking up the knowledge and reading and learning and always being in this growth mindset.

Was Was you're

losing yourself in books and reading a byproduct of being bullied and wanting to escape or retreat from others. Was it sort of a point of connection for you? Is that where that came about for you? Or was it just you? Have you always been thirsty to learn?

I always loved learning. And I was that annoying kid. I didn't label myself as this. But my parents did. I was that annoying kid that always asked why. So I was like, why is that like that? You why this way? Yeah. And I had a very inquiring mind. Now it's interesting that you asked about that intersection from when I was 11 years old, because I had always loved books. And it was something that I went really deep into when I was getting bullied. But yeah, it was too positive distraction.

Me too. I was bullied at school too. So when I read that in your book, I could really relate to it. So that's probably why I'm kind of honing in on it. Yeah, I found books as a refuge as well.

And it's interesting, because I remember reading a book at that time, and it was called children of Moro. It's one of my favorite books. It was written in 1974. So it's bizarre that I even found it as. And it was, it's actually about a post apocalyptic world where there's been a virus that happens and some of the kids are psychic, and it's about what humanity looks like. Yeah, we live in community again together. So I found that at that age, and then I found it again in my teenage years. And then I found it again, when I was going through healing later on in life. So it's been this book that kind of comes back at these really defining moments that gives me solace. Yeah,

there's a line in Oh, I don't know, if you if you see this movie, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie society. I loved that movie so much. And that book, and she talks about how books find themselves to their perfect readers, you know, books find you, you know, so it really I really love that story. So, in the book, you talk about post traumatic growth, and that there's studies actually done about this. So in your life, you've had quite a bit of trauma. So being bullied, and then later in life you talk about when you were raped in the book. So and then will you know your friends sticking that those positive FMA Asians in your bag and that they're in began the journey of, you know, positivity and words and that kind of thing. Can you can you share a little bit about these intersection points about how you charted in your life and now how you help others chart in theirs, how we can utilize these experiences that are indeed very traumatic, and can really send us into these very dark places and how you've been able to harness your inner power. And being part of your own solutions as you talk about to really harness the power of that post traumatic growth. Yeah,

I think the first thing to remember is that everything is always serving our growth, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. So if I look back at the challenging experiences that I've had, and when I was going through the healing process, there was times during that and I'm thinking specifically about when I was healing after I'd been raped, I remember going to see the counselor rape crisis, and never wanted to go to the therapy session. I always felt like I was going to have nothing to say. But I showed up anyway. Yeah, that would be one recommendation or invitation if you are struggling right now it keeps showing up. Because I just trusted that by doing that something eventually was going to shift. And it really, really did. And it was the presence that actually caused the breakthroughs. And it's, I started to be able to see these tiny little glimmers of light, where I could see Oh, today, I feel a little bit better than I then I did before and it maybe feels a little bit easier. And I feel like I've got more to focus on more positive things to focus on. So I think that's the first mindset or frame to choose is that it's always serving your growth. And it's easy to connect the dots backwards once you're through it. Yes. And I can see now that all of those things happened for really powerful reasons. And I wouldn't be the person that I am today. And I wouldn't be able to support my students in the depths and the capacity that I can if I hadn't have been through those things. So that really helps me when I go through things because life is tough. And I think when you realize that it's tough, and everybody goes through this stuff, and you stop making yourself wrong, or why is this happening to me? Everybody has challenges. Everybody has things that they struggle with. And I think that in that connection with each other. And in really verbalizing and being honest and vulnerable and talking to someone, you realize that everybody has stuff, and it's okay, and it's going to be okay, and it's temporary, and it's going to pass. So I think when you can approach challenge from that perspective, it can help you to tap into a well of resilience within and to really get that grittiness that sometimes we need to get through the tough stuff. Yeah,

I do love that chapter. I do love the chapter on grit and resilience, and topic. So give gets, give us something tangible, give everybody something tangible, that you know, about how we would tap into that resilience, one of your daily practices,

okay, so I'm going to give two things. So one of them is for when you're actually really going through it. So if you're in a time where it feels super challenging, there's a an intervention or an exercise from positive psychology that asks you to look at what it is that has been challenging from the last, let's say, seven days. Look at the impact that that has had. So look at what's been hard about it. So it's not bypassing emotions. It's not toxic positivity. We're not skipping just to what's been good about it, what actually honoring the fact that it's felt hard. And the fact that maybe you feel sad right now, or maybe you feel scared right now. And then we're looking at okay, what are the Silver Linings within this experience? And how have you learned what have you grown through? Or who have you become or was a maybe a special moment that you had with someone that actually brought you closer together through that struggle? So it's looking for those things. So when I'm in it, I'm always looking at what is good about this, even though it feels really hard, then

and I think that it's that there's there's this tendency to believe that it can't be both at the same time that we can't acknowledge that it's hard and feel the pain and at Same time, but also holding the gratitude for the lessons for the growth for the positive things about it at the same time.

Yeah, exactly. So it can be both. And I think when you remember that it is both. And then also remember, there's something called negativity bias in our brain, which means that we feel bad things more strongly. And we remember them more easily. Yeah, so there's been a lot of research into positive emotions. And the second thing that I wanted to share is that resilience and grit is actually built from the times that we have that are uplifting and joyful. And when we're in those positive emotions, so what happens is those emotions are broadening to our thinking. So they open up our mind, so that we can find solutions more easily. And that also building, so they also build psychological resources. So when things do get hard, we're able to find the go to more easily, or we're able to crack a joke about the thing that's hard, or we're able to just find the strength within us. And we actually need three positives for every one negative experience in life. So the negativity bias, it's all we're already going to feel the bad, more strongly. And then you've got the positivity ratio. So we actually need to be actively reducing our negative experiences and increasing our positive communications thoughts and emotions, so that we can tip the balance on that ratio.

Yeah, I love the term upgrading your responses, I love that chapter about service to others. And then it can really help to put the focus on others, and how you can be positive and be a positive influence and do something lovely for somebody else, or even be more gregarious, you know, for want of a better term in your response to someone else's, when in inverted commas, or their amazing news, or even just their presence as you talk about that. So tell me a little bit about how you, you you coach others, or encourage or invite others to embrace that philosophy about upgrading your responses.

Yeah, and I love this, because it's actually one of the most simple and most powerful ways that we can build relationships. And I got asked this question, I was speaking at an event the other day. And so many of us experience negative relationships or negative responses in our lives, whether it's somebody telling us that we can't do the business idea that we want to start, or it's somebody who's complaining all of the time. We want to remember that we can't change other people. But we can control how we respond. Yes, so one of the fastest and most powerful ways to improve a relationship is when somebody tells you good news, okay, and you might actually have to set that up. So you might have to ask them what's been good about your day? Or what are we celebrating for you? Or ask

questions? Yeah, so many people don't ask questions. Exactly.

So you might be listening to this thinking? Well, they don't tell me good news all of the time. So what the good thing is first, yeah. And then when they share with you the response that we're going for something that's called an active constructive response, so it is being present paying attention, repeating back the thing that they said, and celebrating and congratulating, but then also following up with another question. So rather than just saying, Oh, great, awesome. What's for dinner? Or saying, well, that doesn't really sound like something to celebrate? Or I will actually, I've got a better celebration than that. You would say, Oh, my goodness tests. Amazing. Congratulations. I am so happy about this. So tell me more about it. So what's the next step with this? Or what feels the most exciting for you about this? And actually get into more conversation, you'll see the person later. And that's like you investing into the bank account of your relationship? Yeah. And you're investing in you're putting something and you're contributing, and that bank balance is going to go up.

And it just feels so good to celebrate others and to be on the train of their happiness and joy, and it just lifts the vibration of everybody. You know, there was an I just love this. There was another thing that I loved, where you talked about how it's just so common in society, how we say is it a love based decision or a fear based decision? Is it love versus fear? And there's this phrase and Padme I'm gonna paraphrase you where you say, well, it's not love or fear for me, there's only love because fear is an illusion that sent to test us. So can you give us something tangible, because when just going back to what we were talking about before about how when you're in a challenging time, it comes a company with a lot of fear, because challenges, invite change. And so change is really scary. And you talk about this in your book, right about how our brain is just conditioned to go oh, you know, so give us something practical to invite fear in and to look at it. And so I love the how you talk about making friends with a claiming, naming and cleaning. And choosing tell us about that. I know, that's just the longest most convoluted question, but I have all this stuff in my head. I go, Oh, my God, I got to ask her about this. I got to ask her about this. About like, and stay here

all day, this conversation together?

Yeah, I might take you up on that. Because I wish I could have a five hour conversation about these logical algebra, but

all these things, the naming and the claiming and the

fear. So it ceases to have power. Yeah. So I was given a change. Yeah, the example that really springs to mind right now. And I don't think I've ever even shared this as an example. I have a visa to live and work here in the United States of America. Yeah. And I remember a couple of years ago, when I was applying for my new visa, and I was waiting, and I was back home in the UK. And my passport was at the embassy. And I had a trip that was planned. And I was waiting in anticipation to see if this visa got approved. Now there was so much worry, and so much fear, and worry. And the fear is actually future projection. So were you thinking about something that hasn't happened and almost assuming that it's going to be bad rather than good? So my mind was going to what if it doesn't get approved, then I can't go on this trip. And I've got a house back in America and all of these things about my career. So I said to myself, I was like, Niyc, whoa, like, whoa, stop, pause, pause, just take a second. And let's look at what is actually even happening here. So when you get present, you often realize like nothing's happened yet. So it's really the power of our mind is amazing. And you know, the power of your mind to create fear, or to create worry, just think about if you can orient that power to vision and creation instead because you can. So naming it claim that choosing to move through it, you think about okay, so what is it that you're actually scared of? What is it you're actually scared of? So another great example is, I used to be really scared to get visible on social media. And yeah, I thought that it was I had, I'm an introvert as well, so. So I used to think that the fear was of my coaching program at the time failing. And it was a fear of failure. But when I actually asked that question, what is the fear? I realized it was a fear of being judged by my friends from high school. Ooh,

talk about the is that the Luke and Haley on the floor with the glitter making the visual story that tight? Love that story in the book? Oh, that's such a big one. Yeah, the fear of being judged. So can you give everybody that amazing affirmation that came from that time? Because I think I'm going to steal it from you as well.

Yeah, exactly. So I got really clear on what it was I was scared of scared of judgment. And I knew that I then had to own that fear and say, right, okay, this is what feels like, it's scary for me right now. And I know that I can choose to move through this. So it was so simple and so powerful. What I did, I, I first of all, asked myself what I would teach someone else to do. Then I searched online, and I was looking for a kundalini yoga class and I found an affirmations class. And I went to this girl's house, she's amazing. Went to this girl's house in New Zealand, actually, at the time, where I was staying with my brother and his partner, went to the house and we did this affirmation creation class, we had glitter glue and cards, and I wrote down my affirmation, which was I am fearlessly visible. And I boldly shine my light. And I love it. It's good, right? Thank you. Really good. I walked out of this session and I went home, and I had a notice board in the room that I was staying in. So I pinned it on the notice board. And my brother Luke turned around to me, and he actually he was laughing so hard tasks. that he had tears rolling down his face. Because I was in a challenging time, then I just moved across to the other side of the world, I'd sold my car, I'd started this online business, I'd sold a group coaching program, and I had one sale of the group coaching program, which is not a group. So everybody, I had all of this like, I know, right? So I'm like, What have I done, I've made a huge mistake. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this, I need to go back and get the job. And everyone was telling me just go and get a job, just go and get a job, go and be a personal trainer, again, you really got to do that you can't do entrepreneurship, you're really bad at that. And I thought I knew what I need to do right now. And it's not go and do a job or get a job or do anything it's actually go within and look at what is it that I actually need to do within my own mindset and psychology and self to feel strong and certain about the path that he knew was right for me. So whilst it's just a note card, it's actually representative and symbolic of something way more than that. So I stuck it on the notice board. And I meditated everyday, it was like 2pm, I would set an alarm for every day. And I did a Kundalini prosperity meditation, which involved chanting. And after 35 days, I've made $35,000 In my new business, and I've gone from zero and not having anything to reach in the goal. So this actually works when they really focus on it.

The year and now you've helped a 1000s of business owners make millions of dollars with this exact process. So I gotta ask you to share your 20 minutes, seven step morning ritual that is so great in the book you go through about setting your tone for the day, right, but I really love the seven steps. So can I share that with everybody?

For sure. And I love this. And the reason that this really worked for me was because I love structure, and I love having something that is a go to practice. Yeah. Now, it's interesting, because I, when I started to do this, I made sure that it was me setting myself up in the day to be in a peak state before I went to do my work. Yes. Now one of the things that I've learned over time, because I've been doing this stuff now for what 20 years, I know that you need to find something that works for you. So I'm gonna share the steps from the book. And for everyone that's listening, I would much prefer for you to commit to something that is small and be consistent with the small commitment, rather than try and do everything. And just do it for a few days and then give up. Yeah, so I'm going to share the seven steps. I'm also going to share a really short three step version of this as well. Yes, yeah, it is so good, just getting consistent. So this is on day 30 of the book. So the first step is gratitude. So when you practicing gratitude, this is what I do. When I first wake up, my first thought in my head in the day is thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for this day. I am grateful in every possible way. So that sets the tone for my day. And I then write down a page of gratitude. So gratitude Ron page, the second step is to meditate. So the way that I do this in my morning is I have my phone loaded up with songs, and it and alarms, and the alarm goes off, and it plays the song. So my second track is actually the first ones, I get me into a feeling of gratitude. The second one is a breath, work meditation. So it starts my day in a way that helps me to find calm and find peace, rather than switching off my alarm and looking at my emails. So those two steps are really, really powerful. And then I move into visualization. So this is what we're talking about before. And this is the power of your, your ability to direct your mind onto what you do want rather than what you don't want. So focusing on your vision for your best possible selves or a vision for something that you want to bring into your life. Now I do this to another song as well. And I actually have a recording of the intervention that I recorded so that you can listen to the meditation of best possible self. It's usually a written exercise, but I listened to it. And it helps me to really get into that visualisation stage. Okay, then I moved my body. So I moved my body then I lock in from that place. So what happens when You move, you move your body and move you move. So yes, feeling like that chapter. Yep, feel more alive. And then when you say your affirmations, because you've gone through all of those other steps already. So you've gotten to gratitude, you have meditated, you've visualized, you've moved your body. Now, when you say affirmations, they're more likely to land in your body, because remember, positive emotions are broadening. And they open up your mind. So that you're able to actually bring them through into your body so much more easily and anchor them in. So I then say affirmations, or, as well, as affirmations, I have scripts that I read. So it's about the character that I have, it's about what I'm accomplishing. And I read through those scripts, I just have it in the notes section on my phone, I'm very basic, I read through the scripts out loud

when you write the script, or you grab that from somewhere else. So I

have a script that I actually write. And it's all about who I am. It's like I'm so happy and grateful to be in this particular person, somebody who is on time someone who is generous, someone who is a great listener, and all of these things. So it's a sin that is important for me to be and it's a reminder that that's who I am. And the things that things that I'm growing into, and things that I'm practicing and things that I'm getting better at. But I say it in the present, as if I already am it so that I become more of it. So that's what I do for my affirmations. And then that

act as if chapter of the book. Yeah,

so act as if it's already happened. And then I make sure that I nourish my body. So this at the moment, this looks like getting a warm lemon water with two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar. And I love that in the morning to start the day. If you don't have time to do that, so that can take like 25 minutes, maybe if you don't have time to do that, and you want something shorter, then I would do thank connect and move. So I would get into gratitude, I would connect your meditation and then move your body. So dance around whatever feels good for you, I love shaking my whole body out. And just getting all of the tension out that feels so good. And that will take 10 minutes, and 10 minutes done consistently, those small positive daily habits will compound over time. And you'll look back and realize you became a completely different person, because of that dedication and devotion to 10 minutes a day. Yeah, the consistency

is so important, isn't it? I want to ask you about this. Because, again, I apologize if I'm gonna butcher this, you talk about the best possible self positive psychology intervention, writing a story where everything's gone as great as it can possibly go. Can you talk us through that? Because that was a mic drop moment for me in that section of the book. Yeah,

it's a really powerful intervention. And the way that I like to do this is I actually like to start with, there's a tool called the wheel of life, which is used in coaching, and it sections your life out into eight different parts. So you can then look at what are the most important areas of your life to focus on first. Because sometimes when you do a best possible self exercise, it can be challenging to think about all of the different areas of life. And I had so many students say to me, but Niyc, what happens if I close my eyes or I start writing, and I can't think about exactly who I want to become in the future. So now I actually love to have, okay, here's the areas of life. So you've got career, you have money, you have relationships, you have fun and leisure time, you have health, okay, so you work through the different areas, you rate yourself from one to 10, on how fulfilled and how satisfied you are with that area of your life. And then you look at your scores, and you ask yourself, what are the three most important areas for me to focus on first, and you could actually do a mini best possible self for each area. Okay, yeah. So you could do one for the big vision, you could do one for each element of your best possible self. So I love to do the best possible self four. It doesn't have to just be the big vision in the future. Which is me as a grandma. With all of my kids and grandkids going on these amazing I'm taking everyone on a vacation and we invest in quality time together. We're creating impact in the world. We've got our friends with us are eating outside, it's sunny, everyone's happy. So that's like a big vision for the future. If I was going to do a smaller as possible self, I might do it around. So I ran a live event in London. So I did an in person event, and I wanted it to go as well as it possibly could. So I wrote a letter, and I actually wrote it from my best possible self. So yeah, I wrote in the past tense, and I wrote, I sat down and Dr. Nicola, I am so happy and grateful now sitting on the airplane, on the way from London, to my hometown of Newcastle, and everything has gone as well as it possibly could, at the live event. I showed up on stage, our community was really connected. Everybody had an amazing experience, it was so much fun. The lights were like this, the flowers are like this. So it's really getting into the details. Here's how I felt it. See, it's asking you to get clear and describe who are you as your best possible self? Where are you? What are you wearing? How do you feel? Who was with you who was around you. So you can start to really write that out. And then I would recommend you actually revisit it and you read it every day, or you speak it out to yourself every day to help it really solidify and lock in for you. But it's proven in the science to increase your levels of hope and optimism, just by doing it once.

Yeah, can you tell us about the graduate that the happiness pie? You know, because there could be people listening right now going, Okay, well, you know, I just feel terrible. Like, this is all nice to say, just do this and just do that. But there really is studies done about how 40% of the pie can be controlled by us. Yeah.

And it's when you realize that you really have to get honest about how you're treating yourself, and how much you're creating your reality, or you're energizing your suffering, rather than energizing the upward spiral.

energizing your suffering, oh, that pierced my heart, then that phrase, wow, wow, there was a chart in your book that I really loved to where you went through these scenarios, and you had plus energy? Am I giving to the positive stuff and energy you're giving to the suffering? Yeah,

exactly. So I say that you can either be energizing an upward spiral or energizing a downward spiral and you get to choose. So when we're thinking about this, like concept, you want everything you want to be thinking about, where are you actually investing your energy and your attention? How are you speaking to yourself, because when you are able to choose your response to something and when you're able to choose to, I think it's all about as well like really bringing your power back to the moment. So the happiness pie shows us that 50% of our happiness is genetically predetermined. 10% is down to our circumstances. Okay, so we're actually given our power away, when we say, the traffic's so bad, it's making me feel like this, or I've had a terrible day, because all of these things are going wrong. Like, the things are still gonna go wrong, the traffic still gonna be there, it's still gonna rain and be gray outside. But you are in control of 40% of the way that you feel or 40% of the way you experience your circumstances. Which means that there's actually a lot this in our control. What it feels really exciting to me, as well as that with epigenetics, the way that we are able to shift our emotions and the way that we feel will impact our children because of that. So it's another reason do it for yourself, but do it for your kids as

well. Yeah, there was a phrase that a term that you used in the book self efficacy, can you defined it as is the belief in your own ability to influence and control events that affect your life and how they are experienced? So I just loved that so much. And the again, the practical exercises, not just oh, here's a concept just be positive. There's actual practical exercises that you give. I really loved the reflection practice that daily practice were one of the things within that was think about how your mentor or your idol or your or your someone you really admire what what would the Dalai Lama? How would he respond to that? How would you know whatever your your your people that you, you know, you hold up and revere? Can you tell us a little bit more about that?

Yeah, I think it's so important to be self reflective, not all of us are naturally and it's something that we just get to because as well as having a morning ritual, an evening ritual is also Really important, it's those bookends to your day can really support the way that you want to feel. So at the end of the day, you can ask yourself, what went well? What maybe didn't go so well? And what can I do differently next time? Yeah. And then on the things that maybe didn't go so well, or maybe it's something that you're looking to accomplish by the end of the week or the end of the next day, you can ask, okay, if I was acting as if, and if I was showing up as the person that I want to become, whether it's my best possible self, or I'm looking at my mentor or someone I admire saying, What three things do I really love about them? What three things do I admire about them? And how can I bring them into my character or my commitment in the way that I behave? Today or tomorrow in this week, so you can start to have really tangible things rather than saying, Beyonce is great. I love her. Okay, so what is it that I actually love about her? What is three things? Okay, so I love her work ethic. I love how she actually prepares to perform, she doesn't just show up and wing it. So then how could I actually assimilate that into my life? How can I be more prepared? How can I actually set myself up for success by having a greater work ethic? So it's these things, it's, it's the tiny little questions and the subtle distinctions that we make, and those little micro commitments that we make, they actually completely transform who we are. And it's not going from where you are right now jumping into the best possible self in one day. It's the real dedication to positive psychology, not just being a science, but it'd be in a way of life, and a practice,

a daily practice. So going back to what you were saying, In the beginning of joy being these things that we we look for moment to moment, day by day in our life, right? I mean, we do high, high low in my family, every day, at the end of the day, over dinner, what was your high of the day? What was your low? What do you want to do differently? I mean, it's so it's a great, it's, I love thinking of it as bookends like that. And just doing the work. I really loved that chapter, the book as well, where self mastery is never done is your phrase. And I really, I really, really love that. Talk to me about the start before you're ready. Because I want to go back to what you were I really loved that bit of the book to where, you know, going back to what you were saying before about, well, I'll be happy when this happens. I'll be happy if this happens, you know, and it's this thing in the distance, as opposed to something we can have today. So what's something tangible where we can decide that today? Today's the day I'm going to start, you know, whether I feel ready or

not? Yeah, I always say your conditions are never going to be ideal for them to be. And it's what is it that you can do today. So if you take your best possible self visualization, and you know what a 10 out of 10 is going to look like overall or in a specific area of your life, you can then ask, okay, so what would be one positive stat that I could take towards that today. And what happens is when you start to take the positive steps, it's like a muscle, you're exercising the muscle, and you're building your confidence. And you're starting to teach yourself and show yourself that you are a person that takes action, so that they snowballs and it actually increases your motivation. So one of the things that I had one of my mentors say was never let your mood dictate your action. So never let the way that you have feeling, overcome, like what it is that you want to accomplish. So I think that we have to really recognize and just remember that if we don't do something, or if we tell ourselves that we can't do something that depletes our motivation over time, the more that we tell ourselves that we're not going fast enough, or we're not doing enough, or we're not as far along as someone else. Or I'm embarrassed because I've been coasting, or why so and so doing this, that's actually you beating yourself up and that's a negative affirmation, and that's going to hit hard and it's going to put you on that downward spiral. So it's really allowing, it's really remembering that you have to energize what you do want and practice building this muscle so that you can increase the motivation. So

on the flip side of that, about not energizing our suffering or the negativity or the fears, can you share with everybody the three excuses exercise because I loved that one.

I think one of the things I also want to touch on because I want to make sure that we're not just talking about being positive all of the time again, because I think that that is also dangerous. I think that one of the things that I've learned is being vulnerable is so important and being honest and Warren Viettel about, okay, this, this was a hard day, I'm struggling, I'm suffering. And here's what I need. Here's what I'm going to do about it. So it's in that connection, it's not making the excuse of, I don't have enough time to do this, or I don't have enough money to do this, or complaining and blaming some to someone else. There's an exercise in the book that actually says, I make choices, not excuses. And it talks about what would happen if we just had a day of no complaining. And I've actually tested this on myself and my students. And it is honestly amazing, because sometimes we complain automatically without us realizing that we are doing it. And when you start to eliminate that, and you start to shift your conversation to be more creative, creative, or more constructive, rather than destructive. It's amazing. What can happen.

Yeah, I really, really love that. I, I also want to ask you about this idea of detachment from the emotions or the bit where you talked about, often we think of the word interesting as a non word. It's a lazy word, because we can't think of a better word right is often the viewpoint. And I liked what you were talking about where you don't you remove the judgment, from your thoughts and feelings, and you just adopt the attitude of that's interesting. I'm interested, that's of interest that I'm feeling this way or thinking this way. So can you just talk us through that a little bit? Yes.

So curiosity is going to be your best friend. So rather than an also just taking a pause. So when I say like, Oh, that's interesting. I'm like, Oh, I'm so curious about that. I'd love to like, uncover or discover or understand or learn more about that. And that might be something that comes up for you within yourself, it might be a thought, or a feeling that you notice. And rather than saying that's good, or that's bad, it's like, Oh, I'm so curious, like, what is this here to show me? Or what can I learn from this? And if it's with somebody else, or a situation in your life, you can take a moment, remember that everything serving you growth, okay, so then you get curious and you say, oh, like, I wonder about this, tell me more about this? Or do I like that? I wonder what I can learn from this, or I wonder what this person is really trying to say or not say. And when you get into that place of curiosity, you're actually starting to be in a student's mindset. And you're starting to be in a growth mindset of what can I learn from this process? rather than reacting? And saying, immediately responding, you're actually listening and showing that you're actively listening? By asking for more information, or by being in the process with the universe of Oh, cool. And what's next? Like, what else can I see now? Or what else? Can you show me now?

And training yourself being teachable? Teaching Yourself and listening? And? Yeah, look, I The other thing that, you know, we're constantly getting around is this idea. And you talk about the cricket example, in the book about seeing the opportunities instead of the obstacles choosing to see it that way?

Yeah. So how often do we focus on? I mean, even if you took the whole concept of psychology, and where psychology started, it started focusing on disorder and disease. How often do we focus on the bills on the problems on what it is that's going wrong? And what might be possible if we focused on the opportunities instead? So that example that conversation was from a time where I wasn't I never studied psychology at school, I did maths and physics, and I was supposed to be a mechanical and automotive engineer. And that's what I was, I had scholarships to go to university to do that. And then everyone said, with nails like this, how are we ever going to do that? So thank goodness, so this conversation, which took me on a totally different career trajectory, because my partner at the time came home from seeing the sports psychologist who'd said I want Need to close your eyes, I want you to visualize that you're on the cricket field, and you've got the bat in your hand. And you you're about to go and hit the ball. And you're looking around the field, don't look at the fielders look for the gaps in between them instead. So that one conversation made me cancel my engineering degrees. Go on to study psychology, and here we are now.

Well, thank you to that sport cycle. It is, it's incredible. We're talking about being inside of our experience and harnessing the power, of positivity of our own intuition, trusting that and all these beautiful things. Another thing that really captured my attention and my heart was when you talked about how you're interested in exploring the edges of your growth? Can you tell me a little bit about that? Yes.

So we have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And I really love one of the things that actually comes from curiosity I find is that you're you're able to explore those subtle edges on your terms, rather than life continually kind of throwing you as if you're a pinball in a pinball machine. And I think that constant seeking and that constant, getting okay with things being tough, is allowing you to grow. Because if you're not pushing at those edges, you're not leaning over them, and it doesn't feel a little bit uncomfortable, then you're not actually growing at the speed or to the capacity and the potential that you code. So, I mean, I grew up thinking that I was going to reach a point in my journey, or my career or my wealth, where all of a sudden, everything would be easy. Just maturity. And I realized everything is actually not always easy. And that's okay. And it's normal. So I think as I've grown, I have found gratitude for all of life's experience. And I've chosen to experience harsh things, or daily disasters or natural disasters, like I say, in the book, like, I know that I have a power to shift the way that I feel, even if I can't change the event itself, I can change how I feel about it, or how I approach it, or how I engage with it in the future, or in my past, even. And I really think that just remembering that we do have that power in the moment, and we can choose and choose again, is a very simple essence of what it means to be human.

I love what you said about choosing to explore the edges on your own terms, rather than feeling like you've been thrown there from external forces. It really allows you to explore it from a from a place of empowerment and safety, and within the bounds of your own propriety, or, you know, that really speaks to me. What are you afraid of?

So I'm afraid of, I think one of the things is not reaching my potential. And the reason I do that, so we spoke a little bit earlier on about the fear and the love. And there's also a theory and motivation that we have towards motivators and away from motivators. So fear can actually be something that propels us forwards, it can also be something that keeps us stuck. So when we're thinking about it in terms of motivation, we're looking at what is the result or the vision that's calling us forwards that feels so hopeful, and it's gonna help us take action. But we also look at what is it that we're afraid of? And how might that also catapult us into action? So I think for me, it was in maybe 2018 2019, or 2018 2019, I was about to speak on a stage and I was sat in the audience and I was watching the other speakers to kind of have some context to the conversation and think about what it was I was going to share. And I remember sitting there and watching the speaker and thinking to myself, I am so embarrassed because I have not been reaching my full potential over this last year or so. And I need to do something about this. And the fear was that I would get to the end of my life and this is a positive psychology intervention as well. So you can ask yourself in meditation or in journaling, what is it that you want to People say about you, at the end of your life, and what is the legacy that you want to leave? So I kind of put myself forwards into the end of my life. And I thought, imagine if everyone says says about me, I'll remember that Niyc Pidgeon girl, she had so much potential, whatever happened to her? And that was enough to ask for me to, to have a moment inside of myself to think, Okay, let's go, I need to make some changes. I need to move forwards with things. And yeah, so that I was

happy right into that, what are those bitches from high school gonna say about me?

Yeah, it's like, what if I don't reach my full potential, like, I want to be able to look back and say, I didn't really did my best, like, I really did my best, whether that means doing or not doing, whether that means loving more, or looking after yourself more or doing a bit of both, whether it means changing you your business goals, to focus on a family goal, or vice versa, whatever that looks like for you. Because happiness, and success and vision, it's not the same for all of us. It's really about letting go of the shots and letting go of what society thinks that we should do or be, and allow ourselves to be do create and have, from our own intuition, our own values, and our own desires. Yeah.

So what what drives you the most, it's

really impact. Like, if you could see on my wall, I have these huge giant post it notes. And I want to be able to impact a billion people through positive psychology coaching. I want to be able to help the world be more mentally healthy. And their big visions and missions, but I just know, step by step. And the more that we do it together, it's completely possible.

Yeah, collective, collective or conscious conscious. What did you call it? conscious relationship, conscious community and creation,

co creation? I think, for me, like, if you're having a hard day, it's really challenging to continue to do the thing that feels scary or hard or difficult, even when you're tired, even when you don't feel motivated, even when there's 10 Other things that you could distract yourself by doing. So how do you call up that energy? How do you call up the commitment? And how do you really get realigned to take an action. And for me, it comes through mission, and it comes through purpose, and it comes through meaning. So when I remember that there's these people out there that needs these tools of positive psychology. And by me not doing the thing that I said I would do, but I'm scared to do it. I'm not able to help those people. So that is a very, very poignant reminder. And it helps me find the the, the fortitude to keep on going, because it energizes me. So when you've got a mission, when you work into your strengths, when you know what your values are, as soon as you tap in the Emirates, like, okay, cool, like, Here I am, again, this is what I'm gonna stand for. And I always find if I'm not in that energy, it's usually because I've got a little bit off course, or I focused on something else rather than the thing that's really important for me.

Yeah, you know, I close every episode with asking the same question. So I'll ask it to you. What would you say to someone out there who's got a dream in their heart? And they just don't feel like they've got what it takes to make it happen? What would you say? You've

got everything within you already that you need. And the more that you can tap into the trueness and the uniqueness of who you are, and learn more about who you are, the easier it's going to be to reach your goals. So now with positive psychology, I know my personality, I know what my strengths are. And I can apply them to everything that I do. The fact is everybody has things that they're good at. We just exhibit them in different ways. So if you feel like you want to know more about that, then you can just go and you can take a strength test and it's like you these are your top five or these your top 10 So I always believe in starting from that place because there's so much that we already have in us.

Yes, show up as you I love it. I cannot recommend this book more highly. Thank you. It now is your chance. Right? It you can learn more about Niyc at niycpidgeon.com You can get a copy of her books. You can learn more about At unstoppable success, have programs that niycpidgeon.com.com, forward slash resources. There's all kinds of amazing tools, I just highly recommend just reading this book and working your way through it in a 30 day period. It's such a great read, and it's so tangible. And there's all of these great exercises and just enter her world, and you will just be opened up in the most beautiful ways. So thank you so much for joining me. We've left everything in the show notes, you can learn more about everything, and just just enter next world, it's just a better place when you do. So thank you for the way that you show

up. Thank you. I appreciate you.

What a fantastic conversation. I feel like a plant that's been watered, I wrote down so many key takeaways. So 40% of your happiness pie can be controlled by you. How are you treating yourself? How are you creating your reality? Everything is serving your growth, even if it feels challenging today. So just keep showing up. Things shift. Look for those glimmers of light and be consistent with your commitment to show up for yourself, direct your mind to what you want, as opposed to what you don't want. Where are you investing your energy and attention and commitment, bringing your power back to this moment that the power is in the moment, that was a big one for me, and never let your mood dictate your action. That tip from her mentor that really spoke to me. And when she asked a you energizing your suffering, that really pierced my soul, I do not want to be a person that is energizing my suffering, I want to energize my happiness, the naming and claiming your fear. So it seems to have power exercise, when I read the book, that was a really big one for me. So I really recommend doing that one. When she said tap into your well of resilience, I felt like I had this unending pot of power that I could tap into I don't know how you felt when she said that. But that was a big one for me. The best possible self letter writing out who are you? How do you feel who's around you who do you need to keep close to you to be the best version of yourself. That was a big exercise for me when I read the book. So I highly recommend doing that exercise. And when she talked about the morning ritual and the evening ritual and being consistent with that practice, that practice to bookend your day, to really inform how you want to feel the consistency of that practice really shifted things for me. And I love the flexibility around it when she talked about finding what works for you, you know, she listed what she does, but that may not work for you. Just be consistent when you find what works for you. Those micro commitments every day, those small choices and making those choices and investing in them because they make room for the really big decisions. That that was that's a really big one for me. And when she said, taking one positive step today to exercise the muscle, that you're a person that takes action, and then that builds confidence, and you continue to teach yourself and then you gradually with every choice, become a person who takes action, and you're becoming the person that you want to be and you are the person that you want to be today. I'm a person that is constructive, as opposed to destructive. I'm a person that makes choices, not excuses that really spoke to me. And staying curious and actively listening and choosing to be interested in yourself and all of your experiences and asking why why do I feel like that, that that was a big one. And being uncomfortable exploring the edges of your experience, and that taking yourself out of your comfort zone is really, really powerful for growth. It helps you to see what you're made of, and try new things and, and really tap into that resilience, and letting go of what society says, you know, allowing yourself to be to do create and have what you want from your own intuition, values and desires. That was a really big moment for me when she said that. And just asking how do you call up the energy and commitment to take action in your life? How do you find that purpose and meaning and impact and when you have that you can claim your voice and claim your happiness. As she says Self Mastery is never done. I highly recommend getting a copy of now is your chance. This book, I refer to it on a weekly basis. I've used many of the strategies that she shared in today's episode and there are so many more in the book. And if you're going through a grief journey right now, I highly recommend reading one One day. Not only is it a really inspiring read to learn about her personal journey with grief and tragedy, and there has been a lot in her life, but lots of tangible strategies for how to find that balance when you're going through a really difficult time. And I love how she encourages us, not to negate it, not to ignore it, to listen to it and acknowledge I'm I'm really struggling Today things are really hard. And then finding those moments of joy and happiness and that it can be both that you can feel both today. And how do you find that balance to keep showing up and to keep calling in how you want your life to be. So please share with me the strategies that you try and what worked for you and what resonated for you. In our group. I am really looking forward to having those conversations with you.