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So many service providers fall into the trap of waiting for motivation, believing once they “feel ready,” they’ll finally take action. But the truth is, motivation isn’t what gets you moving—it’s what shows up after you start. And if you’re constantly waiting for motivation, you’re really just staying stuck in fear of failure, fear of success, or fear of judgment.
Whether you’re a coach, consultant, online business manager, VA, designer, copywriter, or ADHD entrepreneur spinning in procrastination and demand avoidance, this episode is for you.
You’ll learn:
- Why “I’m not motivated” is really fear in disguise
- How micro-actions build momentum that fuels motivation
- The ADHD connection between procrastination, demand avoidance, and “waiting until the last minute”
- How clarity and accountability break the cycle of stuck
This is the real truth about business growth, especially for service providers who need structure and momentum more than motivation.
Links Mentioned:
Fear Of Success EFT Tapping Video
Ep. 321: Why More Time is Killing Your Productivity
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About the Host:
Michelle DeNio is a business strategist and growth advisor for service-based entrepreneurs, especially neurodivergent and ADHD business owners. Creator of the Focused Visionary Accelerator and host of The Real Truth About Business podcast, she helps clients simplify, focus, and grow sustainably. With 15+ years in business operations, she’s known for turning big ideas into simple, profitable action plans.
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Here's your Next Steps:
- Take the "Where's the Gap in Your Business Strategy" Quiz
- Connect with Michelle on LinkedIn or Facebook
- Visit my website to learn more and apply for the Focused Visionary Accelerator
- Sign up for my newsletter - Sunday Morning Brew - delivered every Sunday at 6 am
Transcripts
How many times have you said, I just can't seem to find the motivation where just not feeling motivated right now or I'm feeling stuck.
Speaker A:I know I have work I need to be doing, but I just can't make myself do it right.
Speaker A:I've been there.
Speaker A:I'm sure you've been there.
Speaker A:We've all been there.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Because there are some days that we just don't feel like doing anything.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:But where this becomes a bit of an issue for entrepreneurs and business owners is that when.
Speaker A:When it becomes the constant fallback, the go to or for some people, it just becomes their.
Speaker A:Their baseline of like, I'm just can't find the motivation or I can't find they're not self motivated.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And here's the thing underlying that it's probably not that you're unmotivated, it's that you're scared or that you're stuck in a story that it feels safer to say I'm unmotivated than to move forward.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:There may be some nervous system dysregulation there, or it's a fear of success, a fear of failure.
Speaker A:There's some underlying subconscious belief around that.
Speaker A:And again, I'm not a subconscious belief coach.
Speaker A:I'm not a mindset coach, but I see it all the time.
Speaker A:And so I want to kind of bridge the gap here a little bit between the mindset around this and the strategy that is.
Speaker A:That can help move through this.
Speaker A:Okay, so that's what we're talking about in today's episode is this self motivation myth about why that's not really why you're stuck.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:So if you're ready, let's dive in.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Welcome back to another episode of the Real Truth About Business.
Speaker A:I hope you're having a fabulous day and that life is starting to settle back in.
Speaker A:I'm recording this episode in September, so it's officially the burr months.
Speaker A:Which people.
Speaker A:I think that's so funny.
Speaker A:I saw that the other day.
Speaker A:I was like, yay.
Speaker A:It was like a meme that said we finally hit the burr months.
Speaker A:I was like, what the heck?
Speaker A:But it's so true.
Speaker A:It's like September, October, November, December, you know, and so it's always a fun time of year, but there's this unmotivation, right.
Speaker A:And in the summer, coming off of summer, there's a lot of like, it's very.
Speaker A:There's motivation issues all summer long, Right.
Speaker A:Because there's just so much other going on.
Speaker A:Especially again, I always say this, like, if you live in a climate where you don't get summer very often.
Speaker A:You know, it's, it's a very short lived season.
Speaker A:Then I am a fully around like I fully believe that you should embrace it and you should be a little bit less motivated to work because it's summer and go enjoy it.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:But I think there's this myth around motivation, right?
Speaker A:And I, I hear it, I had the conversation a lot, I talk to lot of entrepreneurs about this around, you know, this like, well, I just can't seem to get myself motivated or you know, I just don't do really well when I'm on my own or you know, all of these different things.
Speaker A:And so especially what I find too is when.
Speaker A:And again, this might be a little bit of a hard truth.
Speaker A:And maybe you're hearing this and it's not the hard truth, right?
Speaker A:Like it's, it's the real truth.
Speaker A:Everything I say is the real truth.
Speaker A:It's just hard to hear sometimes because we've been fed a line of bullshit that disguises the real truth as the hard truth.
Speaker A:And it's not, it's just the real truth.
Speaker A:But I see this a lot with people who share a lot about how they're feeling stuck and they can't seem to get any motivation and they can't seem to get any results and they're just like spinning their wheels or they're just doing, you know, they're in this kind of cycle that they can't get out of.
Speaker A:And then you kind of offer them like people offer them a solution and then the answer becomes like, oh no, I can never motivate myself to do that or no, that I've tried that.
Speaker A:It doesn't work for me or you know, this just really isn't, you know, exactly what I need.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:But then they're continue to like talk about this, this like being stuck.
Speaker A:And I've been there, I've been that person.
Speaker A:So I again like I never ever create episodes or talk about things that like I have not personally experienced.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:This is like everything that I talk about, I'm like, I've been there, done that, you know, I've been that person's like, yeah, that's not going to work for me, you know, but here's the thing.
Speaker A:It's motivation.
Speaker A:You can't like just will yourself into motivation, right?
Speaker A:You can't.
Speaker A:What brings motivation is action.
Speaker A:Motivation isn't like the prerequisite, right?
Speaker A:Motivation is the result of taking action.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And I'm going to give you a perfect example of this last Night.
Speaker A:So it was like, I'm recording this on a Monday, so this was a Sunday.
Speaker A:And I had, like, quite a bit of things that I really wanted to get done leading into the week.
Speaker A:Like, just some little things that I had to get done.
Speaker A:And I just kept saying to my mom and my husband, I was like, man, I just can't get myself motivated.
Speaker A:And I just can't get myself motivated.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:So this is what I'm saying.
Speaker A:Like, I say it all the time, too.
Speaker A:It's like, I just can't get myself motivated to do anything.
Speaker A:And in reality, it had nothing to do with motivation.
Speaker A:It was just like this story that I was caught in because it was easier to say that.
Speaker A:And then all of a sudden, I just went and grabbed my laptop, and I was like, you know what?
Speaker A:Let me just get this one little thing done, because I have to get it done, right?
Speaker A:I had to get out an email for my Back Pocket Insights community.
Speaker A:I send an email out to them every Monday, and I hadn't written it yet, and so I had to get it done.
Speaker A:Usually I try to get it done on, like, Friday or Saturday, but I didn't do it because I couldn't find the motivation to do it.
Speaker A:And so it was like, again, procrastination, which is an ADHD thing.
Speaker A:And so there is a little bit of ADHD that comes into play here in procrastination.
Speaker A:And, like, when it ha.
Speaker A:You know, when we have to get something done, we do it.
Speaker A:And there's just.
Speaker A:There's so many factors here, right?
Speaker A:And there's.
Speaker A:That's a million different.
Speaker A:That could be a million different episodes.
Speaker A:But my point here is this is like, once I grabbed the laptop and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna write this email and get this done, because that's the only thing I have to do.
Speaker A:Once I started that, like, I was so motivated to do all these other things.
Speaker A:I think I ended up working for, like, two hours, and I got so much done in two hours.
Speaker A:We were just talking about productivity, right?
Speaker A:Because it was like, I only had a short amount of time, but it was about.
Speaker A:And that's.
Speaker A:But my point is, is once I took the action on the one thing that I had to get done, the motivation to do the other things came right?
Speaker A:So motivation isn't the prerequisite.
Speaker A:It's the result of taking action, just getting started.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:So that's like key point number one is that part of the motivation that you can't seem to find is because you are not taking Action, right?
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:And also, too, it could be that because you're trying to take action or the action feels too overwhelming, right?
Speaker A:This is what I see a lot with most people is they feel like they have to do all the things or, you know, all the big things versus just picking, like, one thing, right?
Speaker A:Send one message, write one email, right?
Speaker A:Like, whatever it is.
Speaker A:But, like, one thing, like, I had to was like, write this one email and then you're done, right?
Speaker A:Give yourself the out.
Speaker A:I think Jenna Kutcher talked about this on one of her podcast episodes a long time ago.
Speaker A:I remember she was talking about working out, and she.
Speaker A:She gave herself an out.
Speaker A:Was like, you only have to work out for 10 minutes.
Speaker A:And if after 10 minutes, you're.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker A:You're still hating it or you're not feeling it and you just don't want to do it, you can quit.
Speaker A:She's like, the number of times she's like, I don't think I ever quit.
Speaker A:I remember saying that.
Speaker A:Like, she never quit because it wasn't.
Speaker A:Again, the motivation to go do the was never going to get her there.
Speaker A:It was the action, and it was being able and giving herself the permission to be done with it once she started it, you know?
Speaker A:And so that's the thing.
Speaker A:It's the action.
Speaker A:Just go take the action.
Speaker A:The motivation will come, right?
Speaker A:So number.
Speaker A:That's number one.
Speaker A:Number two, though, is that this lack of motivation, I find, is often just fear disguised.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Fear of failure.
Speaker A:If I don't try, I can't fail, right?
Speaker A:There's that fear of success.
Speaker A:Well, if I do try and it works, can I sustain this?
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:This is a big one, this fear of success.
Speaker A:I've been doing a ton of eft tapping around this.
Speaker A:I found an incredible YouTube video.
Speaker A:It kind of combines eft tapping and movement all around the fear of success.
Speaker A:It's phenomenal.
Speaker A:I'll make sure to link it in the show notes.
Speaker A:But again, like, this is a big one, right?
Speaker A:Like, I know that this is probably my biggest lack of motivation is like, around.
Speaker A:Visibility is around.
Speaker A:Like, can I handle this?
Speaker A:What happens when there's this fear of success that comes up and it's like, well, what do I do now?
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:And then.
Speaker A:Or the fear of judgment.
Speaker A:Well, what if people think I'm pushy?
Speaker A:What if people don't like what I have to say?
Speaker A:What if people don't like my voice?
Speaker A:What if people don't like my.
Speaker A:Whatever it is, right?
Speaker A:There's just this fear of judgment.
Speaker A:And so it's easier to disguise that as a lack of motivation.
Speaker A:Like I just can't get myself motivated when in reality there's usually some underlying conscious belief there that is really holding you back.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Of like, what if and, or if I don't try it, I can't fail.
Speaker A:What if.
Speaker A:You know, a lot of times too, when I find it with clients, when it comes to selling is there's a.
Speaker A:And I'm going to do an episode on this around rejection syndrome that's coming up later this month.
Speaker A:But it's like, what if I put this out there and nobody buys it?
Speaker A:That's a huge one for me.
Speaker A:That is a huge one for me.
Speaker A:I've been there, done that.
Speaker A:I, I've had that happen.
Speaker A:I've had that situation happen where it's like I put something out there and then it doesn't, it doesn't sell for whatever reason and it's probably self sabotaged, right?
Speaker A:Like there's probably some self, underlying sabotage there.
Speaker A:But it's like what happens now, right?
Speaker A:Like, see, I did this, I tried it last time and it didn't work.
Speaker A:So what's, what makes me think it's going to work this time, right?
Speaker A:And so, you know, there's so many stories, but here's the thing, here's how these stories keep you safe and stuck in this cycle, right?
Speaker A:And like the cycle of stuck, for example, is like convincing yourself that you're unmotivated removes the responsibility, right?
Speaker A:Like it just completely takes the responsibility off of you.
Speaker A:Like, I'm just unmotivated.
Speaker A:I just can't get it.
Speaker A:I just can't get it done.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:And so there's just like no responsibility to it.
Speaker A:It's like the responsibility is gone.
Speaker A:I, I'm just not motivated, right?
Speaker A:It keeps you in your comfort zone while blaming motivation, right?
Speaker A:Like, oh, I just can't get myself motivated, AKA I don't want to do the work and take the action that is required to actually move me out of my comfort zone.
Speaker A:And I, again, like, I get all of this and you might be thinking like, damn, Michelle, are you speaking right to me?
Speaker A:Or you might really be thinking like, ooh, this one is like hitting me hard, right?
Speaker A:Like right in the chest.
Speaker A:And I'm not trying to, I'm trying to.
Speaker A:I am trying to give you a little hit in the chest, but.
Speaker A:Or a gut punch maybe, maybe whatever.
Speaker A:However you would describe that, I don't know.
Speaker A:But again, it's more about everything is really more about finding that root cause, right?
Speaker A:Because we give all of these Surface level, like excuses surface level answers for everything in life.
Speaker A:Lately, it's like forever.
Speaker A:I mean, it's just, it's become the norm, right?
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:There's just all of this norm and acceptance around these surface level answers, whether it doesn't matter what industry you're in, it doesn't matter if it's online business, whether it's medical.
Speaker A:I mean, don't even get me started on the medical of like, the surface level.
Speaker A:Like, everything's fine, right?
Speaker A:But there's just so much going on underneath the surface.
Speaker A:And that's really what it is, is like, is your lack of motivation because you don't want to go out of your comfort zone?
Speaker A:Is the lack of motivations because you don't want to take responsibility for the outcome?
Speaker A:Is your lack of motivation a fear of success?
Speaker A:Is it a fear of failure?
Speaker A:Is it a fear of judgment?
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Until you understand and are honest with yourself about what is actually causing this lack of motivation.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:I mean, I get it for me also too, as an ADHD or sometimes the lack of motivation is simply demand avoidance.
Speaker A:Like, you told me, I got to do it.
Speaker A:Fuck that.
Speaker A:I'm not doing it, right?
Speaker A:Like, I don't want to do it.
Speaker A:You know, like, there is demand avoidance around that and then there's also like, procrastination, like I said, as an adhd, or like, I am so good at getting things done at the absolute last minute, right?
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:But I understand that, right?
Speaker A:So I know this about myself and so I've also learned to embrace it of, like, I know this is going to create chaos.
Speaker A:I know I'm going to be forcing myself to do this at the last second, but this is the choice I've made and this is how I work best right now.
Speaker A:This is what works for me, right?
Speaker A:Like, sometimes, honestly, I do much better.
Speaker A:Like, I don't write my Sunday morning brew email most often until Saturday because for whatever reason, I just feel like I need, like, all week long to make sure, like, that the whole story comes together or like the whole, you know, everything comes together.
Speaker A:So, like, it just works for me to do it on the last minute.
Speaker A:But again, it's not a motivation issue.
Speaker A:I'm very clear.
Speaker A:It's like, I'm very motivated to write my, my newsletter, but don't ask me to do it on a Friday because the motivation's not there.
Speaker A:And it's not that.
Speaker A:It's just that, like, it's a different process.
Speaker A:It's a different system in my brain of, like, no we do this on.
Speaker A:On Saturdays when things happen, right?
Speaker A:But again, it's the story.
Speaker A:If you are stuck in this, like, lack of motivation, that's a story.
Speaker A:That's a story that is keeping you safe, right?
Speaker A:But what is it keeping you safe from?
Speaker A:That's what you have to figure out, okay?
Speaker A:And so what actually builds motivation, Think about it from a different perspective, is these little micro actions.
Speaker A:And when you get a micro action, you get a very micro, small win.
Speaker A:And when you get a small win, you get a dopamine boost.
Speaker A:Especially for those of you with ADHD dopamine, you know, we thrive on dopamine, right?
Speaker A:And so when you get a dopamine boost, what do you get?
Speaker A:Momentum.
Speaker A:Think about this.
Speaker A:This is why, like, for me, even the endless scroll on TikTok, because it's just like one little dopamine boost after the next.
Speaker A:And so I can find motivation to do that all day long because it's the dopamine boost, right?
Speaker A:And so it builds this momentum.
Speaker A:But you got to find that in your business.
Speaker A:Micro action, small win, dopamine boost, momentum, okay?
Speaker A:Clarity around your goals, right?
Speaker A:What does done actually look like?
Speaker A:This is a big one.
Speaker A:Because I think a lot of times we can't get motivated to do something because we don't really know what we're trying to achieve, right?
Speaker A:Like, how many times do you sit down and you just start working and you just start doing something and it's like, but what are we actually trying to do here?
Speaker A:What are we trying to achieve?
Speaker A:What's the end result?
Speaker A:What's the goal?
Speaker A:Are we creating content just to create content?
Speaker A:Chad, ChatGPT is the worst at this because it can keep you in this, like, cycle of doing when it's like, what in the actual F are we doing on chat GPT?
Speaker A:Creating and having all these conversations and doing all these things when it's actually not moving the needle, right?
Speaker A:Again, it's like, what, why?
Speaker A:Why are you here?
Speaker A:Like, what is the end goal?
Speaker A:That's what I always say to my clients every time I have a conversation with them and they tell me about something that they're doing or they're telling me that they're lack of motive, you know, they're lacking motivation.
Speaker A:It's forever.
Speaker A:Like, well, what are you actually trying to achieve?
Speaker A:That's always my question.
Speaker A:What are we actually trying to achieve here?
Speaker A:Because without knowing what that end goal is, it's very hard to do this.
Speaker A:It's very hard to get anything done because you're just forever in this Cycle of like doing, but you don't really actually ever see the finish line, right?
Speaker A:Like think about that.
Speaker A:Like would you just keep running and running and running and running and running in a race if you ever, if you never saw the finish line, like you wouldn't, you wouldn't even be motivated to start because there would be no end in sight, right?
Speaker A:That's a huge thing, right?
Speaker A:Like why would you be motivated to start if there was no end in sight, right?
Speaker A:Or you might be motivated to start, but you'd give up real quick.
Speaker A:And that's the thing is like there's no clarity if you have no clarity around your goals and what you're actually trying to achieve.
Speaker A:And this is why I'm big on like these 60 day focus action plans, right?
Speaker A:Because they're short, small bites of focus.
Speaker A:It's 60 days, one focus, one intention.
Speaker A:You have a very clear goal, you know exactly what you're working on and you know exactly what actions you need to take.
Speaker A:You can get that inside the missing piece, which if you've not heard that, we're going to talk about it in the next episode.
Speaker A:But it's my brand new 12 week program which is the Focus Visionary framework.
Speaker A:It's just done in 12 weeks versus my bigger six month container that includes more coaching, individualized coaching, etc, but it's the exact framework, right?
Speaker A:So if you want to learn how to break things down into these 60 day periods to get that focus and that clarity that go check the link in the box in the show notes on the missing link or the missing piece.
Speaker A:The missing link, the missing.
Speaker A:Whatever.
Speaker A:I don't even know what the name of it's called.
Speaker A:The missing piece, right?
Speaker A:But also to what builds motivation is accountability, right?
Speaker A:Having somebody outside break this story hold you accountable, right?
Speaker A:Accountability again, that can trigger demand avoidance for some, but it also can really motivate others.
Speaker A:Like accountability is huge for me.
Speaker A:I love being held accountable.
Speaker A:I love doing all the things.
Speaker A:So if you are struggling with motivation, figure out what that is, right?
Speaker A:Like what accountability would actually help?
Speaker A:Is it the accountability around the stories that you're telling yourself?
Speaker A:Is it accountability around the micro actions?
Speaker A:Is it accountability around creating clarity and focus, Right?
Speaker A:What is it?
Speaker A:And then here is some workarounds like practical mindset shifts that you can give yourself if you feel stuck in this lack of motivation, right?
Speaker A:So whenever you find yourself saying like, I just need to find the motivation, I want you to say, I just need to find some action, I just need to find some movement.
Speaker A:I need to get Moving, right?
Speaker A:What is a small movement you can take?
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:I find my motivation is the hardest when it comes to, like, working out and doing that.
Speaker A:Because it's like I could find a million other things to do than sit and work out.
Speaker A:Even though once I'm there, I love it.
Speaker A:Getting there is the hardest part.
Speaker A:So, like, a lot of times what I'll do is even after dinner, I'll just jump on the treadmill and I'll give myself same like Jenna Kutcher's examples.
Speaker A:Like, you just got to do this 10 minutes, and then next thing you know, I'm on there 25, 30 minutes, right?
Speaker A:Because once I'm there, I'm fine.
Speaker A:But it's the getting there.
Speaker A:So it's like, give yourself what is just that, one small action.
Speaker A:Just send this one small email, write this, you know, one.
Speaker A:Follow up, whatever that looks like, and then track the actions taken and build structure around your decision points, right?
Speaker A:So this fear doesn't stall you out.
Speaker A:And what do I mean by that?
Speaker A:Like, build structure around your decision points.
Speaker A:What I mean by that is, like, when you come, when you're coming up against that, like, stop sign or that, like, roadblock or whatever, however you want to describe it, whatever analogy you want to use.
Speaker A:But like, when you come up against that and you're like, okay, now what?
Speaker A:Now what do I do?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:You're coming up against this, like, motivation, self motivation factor here again, you gotta look at and think like, okay, what is my next action step and what's stopping me from doing this?
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Again, like, you.
Speaker A:Even if you ask those questions of, like, what is stopping me from doing this?
Speaker A:Again, root cause.
Speaker A:Go deeper than the surface level.
Speaker A:And I would like, I would really encourage you to always ask yourself that question twice because you're.
Speaker A:Your conscious mind is always going to give the surface level answer.
Speaker A:It just is, right?
Speaker A:It's just easier.
Speaker A:Like, oh, I don't have time, or I just can't, you know, I don't know what I'm doing, or I don't have, you know, I just don't want to figure this out, or I'm not good at this, or this is out of my comfort zone, or this is out of my zone of genius, right?
Speaker A:Like, there's so many stories there.
Speaker A:So you just have to really figure out, like, what is underneath that, okay?
Speaker A:And then remember, you don't need motivation.
Speaker A:You need momentum.
Speaker A:Momentum builds motivation.
Speaker A:What builds momentum is action, okay?
Speaker A:Action is the fuel to momentum.
Speaker A:Momentum is the fuel to motivation, okay?
Speaker A:Remember that, all right?
Speaker A:So if you want to take a few action steps, again, write down one place you're waiting for motivation to show up, and then name the fear behind it.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Where is.
Speaker A:Because motivation is not going to show up.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:And then once you know what that fear is, take one micro action that will contradict that story.
Speaker A:Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of judgment.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Put yourself out there, send the message, put the post up.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:And then share your action with somebody that you trust, whether that's a mentor, biz, bestie.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Accountability plays a huge role in this.
Speaker A:All right, Again, wrapping this episode up, I just want you to really think about the motivation piece and really think about, is it really lack of motivation or is it a story you're telling yourself to keep yourself safe?
Speaker A:And also, if somebody is throwing you a bone, per se, or giving you a solution to this stuck issue, why are you not taking it?
Speaker A:Why are you not taking it?
Speaker A:That's the next question I want you to ask yourself what really is stopping you from taking that action?
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:Think about that and go from there.
Speaker B:All right?
Speaker A:I love you.
Speaker A:I believe in you.
Speaker A:I'll talk to you soon.
