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Breaking Free from Financial Shame and Guilt | Ep. 296
Episode 29623rd January 2024 • Money Talk With Tiff • Tiffany Grant
00:00:00 00:11:59

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Are you grappling with feelings of financial shame or guilt? In this heartfelt episode of Money Talk With Tiff, Tiffany Grant tackles the sensitive topic of overcoming financial shame and the emotional weight of past spending mistakes.

With compassion and understanding, Tiffany walks listeners through a step-by-step guide to acknowledging and using these feelings as a catalyst for positive change.

From exploring the roots of your money habits to setting realistic goals, Tiffany provides actionable advice on gaining control over your finances. If you're ready to face your financial fears head-on and embrace a future of financial confidence, this episode is a must-listen.

Don't forget to rate, review, subscribe, and share this episode with anyone who might be struggling with similar issues.

Connect with Tiffany

Website: https://moneytalkwitht.com

Facebook: Money Talk With Tiff

Twitter: @moneytalkwitht

Instagram: @moneytalkwitht

LinkedIn: Tiffany Grant 

Key Takeaways

  • Financial shame and guilt - Acknowledging and overcoming negative emotions.
  • Understanding money habits - Identifying spending and saving patterns.
  • Setting realistic goals - Creating achievable financial targets.
  • Creating a budget - Allocating funds based on goals.
  • Educating yourself - Knowledge as a tool to empower.
  • Seeking help - Utilizing financial counseling or therapy.
  • Facing financial challenges - Confronting issues to break the cycle.

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Transcripts

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Intro/Outro: You know what it is. That's right. It's time to talk

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money with your money nerd and financial coach.

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Now tighten those purse strings and open those

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ears. It's the money talk with Tiff.

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podcast.

Tiffany Grant:

Hey, hey. And welcome to another episode of Tiffany's take,

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where I answer your questions right here on the

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podcast. So, if you want your question answered, just go

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to

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Tiffany, and I'll be more than happy to answer for you.

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So, for today's episode, I had quite a few

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conversations this past week, with some new

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clients, and they mentioned

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multiple, of them, mentioned that they

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had shame when it came to their finances.

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And so I wanted to make an episode to

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address that in case you are experiencing the

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same. If you feel guilty or

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shameful about past spending behaviors

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or things like that. I just wanted to give you

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some information and some tips that can help you

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try to get over that. So, first

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and foremost, I want you to acknowledge those feelings. And

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that's one thing that I worked with my clients this past week

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on. Whoever said that they had shame or

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guilt, I said, okay, let's explore that. So,

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the first step in overcoming financial shame is just acknowledging

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it. It's okay to feel embarrassed or guilty about

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past financial decisions. What's important is to not

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let these feelings paralyze you, but to use them as

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motivation to improve. I had the same

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feeling when I started out on this financial journey.

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back when I decided to get serious, it was because

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I went to a bank and I got denied for a credit

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card, and I wasn't even asking for that much.

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And I felt so shameful and

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so, like, why am I not doing

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better? That's exactly how I felt. But instead

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of letting it get me down, I used that

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fuel as motivation. And, I'm not going to go into

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the whole story today, but long story short, I went

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back to that same credit union, got the same lady, a, ah,

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year later with that extra confidence that I

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needed. So, it's okay

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to feel shame or be guilty about your

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finances? It's okay. But don't let it paralyze

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you. Acknowledge the feeling, and then use

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it as fuel to keep pushing forward.

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So the next thing that you want to do is understand your

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money habits. So, okay, you acknowledge your feelings. Now,

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take some time to understand your spending and saving habits.

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Are you an impulse buyer? Do you struggle with

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saving? Understanding your behaviors can help you

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identify what's causing the financial stress

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and shame. I've worked with clients before,

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and they come to me most of the time

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about credit card debt. And I'm

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like, okay, so why do we feel like we

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need to use a credit card? And the answers

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vary. One person, they're like, well, this is what I know.

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This is what I grew up seeing. And

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this was, like, the norm in my household. And then other

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people are like, well, I know I spend because it

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makes me feel better. so

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why does it make you feel better? Really

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understand why you're operating the way you do? Because, like

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I say all the time, money is not

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really physical. It's more psychological, and

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it's more mental than most people know. So

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try to understand why your spending habits are the way that

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they are. Next, you want to set

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realistic goals. That's another thing

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that causes shame as well, or causes

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you to feel guilt or feel like you're not doing

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enough or not making is because the goals that you're

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setting are not realistic for your situation.

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So setting achievable financial goals can help

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motivate you to make better financial decisions. So whether

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that's paying off your debt, saving for vacation,

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building an emergency fund, having that

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target that's realistic, can provide a sense of

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purpose and direction for you. And this is one of

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the first things that we talk about. If anybody has ever had

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a consultation call with me, I always

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ask, what is your most important goal right

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now? And I really, actually like to ask, what's the top

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three? And another thing is,

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if you struggle with figuring

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out what those goals are, because maybe you're in a situation

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where it's really dire and you can't figure it

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out, and, you get in that negative

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autopilot, because I've had clients come on the line and they're,

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like, crying because of their financial situation.

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Don't even bother asking yourself,

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what are your financial goals? Just dream for a little

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bit. Act like your life is

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perfect, right? In a perfect

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situation, what does that look like for you?

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And as you write that down or as you talk that

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out in a voice note or something, you'll realize

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what your goals are in that. So if

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setting or asking yourself goals is

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triggering for you, take that approach, because that can

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also help you get to what you really want.

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Okay. All right. So after you do that, the next step

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is creating a budget. So a budget is a powerful

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tool that can give you control over your money. So first,

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start by tracking your income and expenses, and

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then you can start doing the actual

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budgeting piece. So allocating funds to different

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categories like rent, groceries, and entertainment,

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remember that your budget should reflect your financial goals.

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That's why we're going in this order. Don't skip

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to a budget when you haven't done the last three

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things I talked about, because it's not going to

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work. Honestly, you need to know all of these

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things that we've already talked about first before you

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dive into making that spending plan or a budget.

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Otherwise, honestly, you are setting yourself up

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for failure. I'm just going to be real with you, because if you don't

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have a target, how do you know where you want your money to

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go? How do you know what you want the money to

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do? And so that's why you hit all the other steps

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first, and then you get to creating a budget. And

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personally, right now, I'm using ynab, so you

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need a budget, and I'll have a link in the show notes for

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that. But I really like that app because

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it takes a different approach to budgeting. So

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instead of just doing line items, you actually have to

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fund those line items with real money that you have

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in your account. And so, you know, you can't spend on

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something unless it's a funded line

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item. So I do like it in that respect because

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it makes it a little easier to budget, in my

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opinion. and so I can do a whole other episode

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about how I use why nab. But, it's

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really good for that purpose. So I'll make sure I have a link in the show notes for

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that. Number five, make sure you educate yourself,

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okay? That's why you hear, right?

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That's why you follow money talk with Tiff. Because I'm here to

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provide education. Knowledge is

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power. And the more you understand about

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personal finance, the less intimidating it

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will seem. That's another cause

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of shame around finances. A lot of people that come to

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me, they're like, oh, my gosh, Tiffany, I don't know anything

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about money. I'm horrible with, suck. You

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know, all of this negative self talk, and my

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thing is, you know more than your kids or you know

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more than your nieces and nephews, so you know something,

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so give yourself some credit. because if

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you were talking to a friend right now, you wouldn't

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have this same, you wouldn't tell your friend, oh, you don't

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know anything about money. Oh, you suck. You

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wouldn't be telling your friend that. So don't tell yourself

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that. So continue to tap into the

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podcast, continue to read the articles on the blog.

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I've been pumping out articles, a lot of

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articles. So make sure you check out the

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website. I also have a course

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on my website called budget Nirvana, which

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if you really struggle with

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all the things that I talked about before.

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So acknowledging your feelings, understanding your money

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habits, setting realistic goals, and creating a budget, that

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course covers all of that. So I'll make sure I have a link in the show

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notes for that as well. and this month, I'm actually doing a

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special. It's only $97. So

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after that, then if you still

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are feeling overwhelmed and you still

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are, like, I just need some help. Get help.

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You all for real? seek help from either

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a financial counselor like myself or financial

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therapist, because this is what we specialize in,

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okay? We specialize in helping

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people figure out what their money story

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is, figure out what is causing

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them to either overspend or

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underspend, and then work on

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goals, create a plan, all these different

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things to help you take it to the next level, and to stop

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running on a hamster wheel. So we specifically help

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with these issues. So if financial

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stress or financial shame

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or guilt, financial trauma, all

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of these things can be addressed with a financial

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therapist or a financial counselor. And we're here to help you.

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So, definitely utilize those services if you are

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interested in working with me. I'll make sure I have that link

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in the show notes as well. So those are

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my tips for overcoming financial shame and

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financial guilt. Y'all don't take

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the ostrich approach and just dig your

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head in the sand, because at the end of the day,

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you have to face these things head on. And even if

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it's painful, mind you, it's

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only temporary. It's only temporary.

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Once you get all of these things under your belt,

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you face the facts. You looking

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at your financial situation, that is

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when you can start dealing with it. If

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not, it's just going to be the same cycle, over and

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over and over again. And I know you want to get off of

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that. I know I got off of that, right? Because

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it was horrible. I was tired of working

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multiple jobs. I was tired of living.

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Refund, check to refund, check. Not even check to

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check. Refund, check to refund, check. I would

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have to sit there and pay up, my rent

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for six months or so at a time when I got my tax

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refund, because I was like, at least we'll have a roof

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over our head. I had to use toys for

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tots and other government programs and things like

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that because I was stuck in that cycle. I

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felt scared, I felt shame, I felt guilt, and I

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ignored it for a very long time. And I will

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tell you now that I'm on the other side of that.

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Life feels good. And I'm not saying

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that my finances are perfect, because they're

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not. But it does feel

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better when you're able to address these

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things and have one less thing on your mind, because we

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all deal with so much. So anyway, I'll get off

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my soapbox. Make sure you check out the show notes because I'll have

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all that information there. And if you are interested

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in me answering your money question,

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go to forward slash

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xtiffany and I'll be more than happy to answer.

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So make sure oh, also

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rate review subscribe

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I know I sound like a youtuber, but this stuff is

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so important when it comes to, the

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podcast because it helps other people find us as well.

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So share this episode if you know someone that's dealing with the same

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thing, rewind it back if you need to.

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We are here to help you. I'm here to give you

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this information and I appreciate you

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listening. So until next time,

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bye.

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Intro/Outro: Thank you for listening, joining and, being a part of the Money Talk

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with TIFF podcast this week. You can check TIFf out

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every Thursday for a new Money Talk podcast. But

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if you just can't wait until next week, you can listen to

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previous podcast

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episodes@moneytalkwitht.com

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or follow TIFf on all social media

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platforms at moneytalkwitht. Until

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next time, spend wise by spending less than

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you make a word to the moneywise is always

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sufficient.