Are you grappling with feelings of financial shame or guilt? In this heartfelt episode of Money Talk With Tiff, Tiffany Grant tackles the sensitive topic of overcoming financial shame and the emotional weight of past spending mistakes.

With compassion and understanding, Tiffany walks listeners through a step-by-step guide to acknowledging and using these feelings as a catalyst for positive change.

From exploring the roots of your money habits to setting realistic goals, Tiffany provides actionable advice on gaining control over your finances. If you're ready to face your financial fears head-on and embrace a future of financial confidence, this episode is a must-listen.

Don't forget to rate, review, subscribe, and share this episode with anyone who might be struggling with similar issues.

Connect with Tiffany

Website: https://moneytalkwitht.com

Facebook: Money Talk With Tiff

Twitter: @moneytalkwitht

Instagram: @moneytalkwitht

LinkedIn: Tiffany Grant 

Key Takeaways

• Financial shame and guilt - Acknowledging and overcoming negative emotions.
• Understanding money habits - Identifying spending and saving patterns.
• Setting realistic goals - Creating achievable financial targets.
• Creating a budget - Allocating funds based on goals.
• Educating yourself - Knowledge as a tool to empower.
• Seeking help - Utilizing financial counseling or therapy.
• Facing financial challenges - Confronting issues to break the cycle.

Additional Links & Resources

• YNAB
• Budget Nirvana Course
• Book a 15-minute consultation
• Ask Tiffany Your Money Question

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Copyright 2024 Money Talk With Tiff

Intro/Outro: You know what it is. That's right. It's time to talk

money with your money nerd and financial coach.

Now tighten those purse strings and open those

ears. It's the money talk with Tiff.

podcast.

Hey, hey. And welcome to another episode of Tiffany's take,

where I answer your questions right here on the

podcast. So, if you want your question answered, just go

to

Tiffany, and I'll be more than happy to answer for you.

So, for today's episode, I had quite a few

conversations this past week, with some new

clients, and they mentioned

multiple, of them, mentioned that they

had shame when it came to their finances.

And so I wanted to make an episode to

address that in case you are experiencing the

same. If you feel guilty or

shameful about past spending behaviors

or things like that. I just wanted to give you

some information and some tips that can help you

try to get over that. So, first

and foremost, I want you to acknowledge those feelings. And

that's one thing that I worked with my clients this past week

on. Whoever said that they had shame or

guilt, I said, okay, let's explore that. So,

the first step in overcoming financial shame is just acknowledging

it. It's okay to feel embarrassed or guilty about

past financial decisions. What's important is to not

let these feelings paralyze you, but to use them as

motivation to improve. I had the same

feeling when I started out on this financial journey.

back when I decided to get serious, it was because

I went to a bank and I got denied for a credit

card, and I wasn't even asking for that much.

And I felt so shameful and

so, like, why am I not doing

better? That's exactly how I felt. But instead

of letting it get me down, I used that

fuel as motivation. And, I'm not going to go into

the whole story today, but long story short, I went

back to that same credit union, got the same lady, a, ah,

year later with that extra confidence that I

needed. So, it's okay

to feel shame or be guilty about your

finances? It's okay. But don't let it paralyze

you. Acknowledge the feeling, and then use

it as fuel to keep pushing forward.

So the next thing that you want to do is understand your

money habits. So, okay, you acknowledge your feelings. Now,

take some time to understand your spending and saving habits.

Are you an impulse buyer? Do you struggle with

saving? Understanding your behaviors can help you

identify what's causing the financial stress

and shame. I've worked with clients before,

and they come to me most of the time

about credit card debt. And I'm

like, okay, so why do we feel like we

need to use a credit card? And the answers

vary. One person, they're like, well, this is what I know.

This is what I grew up seeing. And

this was, like, the norm in my household. And then other

people are like, well, I know I spend because it

makes me feel better. so

why does it make you feel better? Really

understand why you're operating the way you do? Because, like

I say all the time, money is not

really physical. It's more psychological, and

it's more mental than most people know. So

try to understand why your spending habits are the way that

they are. Next, you want to set

realistic goals. That's another thing

that causes shame as well, or causes

you to feel guilt or feel like you're not doing

enough or not making is because the goals that you're

setting are not realistic for your situation.

So setting achievable financial goals can help

motivate you to make better financial decisions. So whether

that's paying off your debt, saving for vacation,

building an emergency fund, having that

target that's realistic, can provide a sense of

purpose and direction for you. And this is one of

the first things that we talk about. If anybody has ever had

a consultation call with me, I always

ask, what is your most important goal right

now? And I really, actually like to ask, what's the top

three? And another thing is,

if you struggle with figuring

out what those goals are, because maybe you're in a situation

where it's really dire and you can't figure it

out, and, you get in that negative

autopilot, because I've had clients come on the line and they're,

like, crying because of their financial situation.

Don't even bother asking yourself,

what are your financial goals? Just dream for a little

bit. Act like your life is

perfect, right? In a perfect

situation, what does that look like for you?

And as you write that down or as you talk that

out in a voice note or something, you'll realize

what your goals are in that. So if

setting or asking yourself goals is

triggering for you, take that approach, because that can

also help you get to what you really want.

Okay. All right. So after you do that, the next step

is creating a budget. So a budget is a powerful

tool that can give you control over your money. So first,

start by tracking your income and expenses, and

then you can start doing the actual

budgeting piece. So allocating funds to different

categories like rent, groceries, and entertainment,

remember that your budget should reflect your financial goals.

That's why we're going in this order. Don't skip

to a budget when you haven't done the last three

things I talked about, because it's not going to

work. Honestly, you need to know all of these

things that we've already talked about first before you

dive into making that spending plan or a budget.

Otherwise, honestly, you are setting yourself up

for failure. I'm just going to be real with you, because if you don't

have a target, how do you know where you want your money to

go? How do you know what you want the money to

do? And so that's why you hit all the other steps

first, and then you get to creating a budget. And

personally, right now, I'm using ynab, so you

need a budget, and I'll have a link in the show notes for

that. But I really like that app because

it takes a different approach to budgeting. So

instead of just doing line items, you actually have to

fund those line items with real money that you have

in your account. And so, you know, you can't spend on

something unless it's a funded line

item. So I do like it in that respect because

it makes it a little easier to budget, in my

opinion. and so I can do a whole other episode

about how I use why nab. But, it's

really good for that purpose. So I'll make sure I have a link in the show notes for

that. Number five, make sure you educate yourself,

okay? That's why you hear, right?

That's why you follow money talk with Tiff. Because I'm here to

provide education. Knowledge is

power. And the more you understand about

personal finance, the less intimidating it

will seem. That's another cause

of shame around finances. A lot of people that come to

me, they're like, oh, my gosh, Tiffany, I don't know anything

about money. I'm horrible with, suck. You

know, all of this negative self talk, and my

thing is, you know more than your kids or you know

more than your nieces and nephews, so you know something,

so give yourself some credit. because if

you were talking to a friend right now, you wouldn't

have this same, you wouldn't tell your friend, oh, you don't

know anything about money. Oh, you suck. You

wouldn't be telling your friend that. So don't tell yourself

that. So continue to tap into the

podcast, continue to read the articles on the blog.

I've been pumping out articles, a lot of

articles. So make sure you check out the

website. I also have a course

on my website called budget Nirvana, which

if you really struggle with

all the things that I talked about before.

So acknowledging your feelings, understanding your money

habits, setting realistic goals, and creating a budget, that

course covers all of that. So I'll make sure I have a link in the show

notes for that as well. and this month, I'm actually doing a

special. It's only $97. So

after that, then if you still

are feeling overwhelmed and you still

are, like, I just need some help. Get help.

You all for real? seek help from either

a financial counselor like myself or financial

therapist, because this is what we specialize in,

okay? We specialize in helping

people figure out what their money story

is, figure out what is causing

them to either overspend or

underspend, and then work on

goals, create a plan, all these different

things to help you take it to the next level, and to stop

running on a hamster wheel. So we specifically help

with these issues. So if financial

stress or financial shame

or guilt, financial trauma, all

of these things can be addressed with a financial

therapist or a financial counselor. And we're here to help you.

So, definitely utilize those services if you are

interested in working with me. I'll make sure I have that link

in the show notes as well. So those are

my tips for overcoming financial shame and

financial guilt. Y'all don't take

the ostrich approach and just dig your

head in the sand, because at the end of the day,

you have to face these things head on. And even if

it's painful, mind you, it's

only temporary. It's only temporary.

Once you get all of these things under your belt,

you face the facts. You looking

at your financial situation, that is

when you can start dealing with it. If

not, it's just going to be the same cycle, over and

over and over again. And I know you want to get off of

that. I know I got off of that, right? Because

it was horrible. I was tired of working

multiple jobs. I was tired of living.

Refund, check to refund, check. Not even check to

check. Refund, check to refund, check. I would

have to sit there and pay up, my rent

for six months or so at a time when I got my tax

refund, because I was like, at least we'll have a roof

over our head. I had to use toys for

tots and other government programs and things like

that because I was stuck in that cycle. I

felt scared, I felt shame, I felt guilt, and I

ignored it for a very long time. And I will

tell you now that I'm on the other side of that.

Life feels good. And I'm not saying

that my finances are perfect, because they're

not. But it does feel

better when you're able to address these

things and have one less thing on your mind, because we

all deal with so much. So anyway, I'll get off

my soapbox. Make sure you check out the show notes because I'll have

all that information there. And if you are interested

in me answering your money question,

go to forward slash

xtiffany and I'll be more than happy to answer.

So make sure oh, also

rate review subscribe

I know I sound like a youtuber, but this stuff is

so important when it comes to, the

podcast because it helps other people find us as well.

So share this episode if you know someone that's dealing with the same

thing, rewind it back if you need to.

We are here to help you. I'm here to give you

this information and I appreciate you

listening. So until next time,

bye.

Intro/Outro: Thank you for listening, joining and, being a part of the Money Talk

with TIFF podcast this week. You can check TIFf out

every Thursday for a new Money Talk podcast. But

if you just can't wait until next week, you can listen to

previous podcast

episodes@moneytalkwitht.com

or follow TIFf on all social media

platforms at moneytalkwitht. Until

next time, spend wise by spending less than

you make a word to the moneywise is always

sufficient.