Shownotes
Today’s story is “Tailsock Tier” by “Field T. Mouse” who specializes in romantic critter content. You can find this story, and others, in the Happy Howlidays anthology from Thurston Howl Publications.
Read for you by Rob MacWolf — werewolf hitchhiker.
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https://thevoice.dog/episode/tailsock-tier-by-field-t-mouse
Transcripts
You’re listening to The Voice of Dog.
Speaker:This is Rob MacWolf,
Speaker:your fellow traveler,
Speaker:and Today’s story is
Speaker:“Tailsock Tier” by “Field T. Mouse”
Speaker:who specializes in romantic critter content.
Speaker:You can find this story, and others,
Speaker:in the Happy Howlidays anthology
Speaker:from Thurston Howl Publications.
Speaker:Please enjoy, “Tailsock Tier”
Speaker:by Field T. Mouse There was a bend in the gravel road right before Charlie’s house,
Speaker:like the countryside was on its knees.
Speaker:As Emerson pulled into her snowy driveway, the gold-and-cream harvest mouse flashed his pickup’s high beams at the fox squirrel’s front door,
Speaker:letting her know he’d arrived.
Speaker:Charlie was his girlfriend.
Speaker:As well as his neighbor.
Speaker:She was due to inherit her aunt and uncle’s farm when they retired.
Speaker:Emerson, meanwhile,
Speaker:farmed a bordering property. They’d met at a cookout over the summer.
Speaker:Immediately taken by the shy, even keel mouse, she’d latched to him,
Speaker:trying to break through his demure exterior.
Speaker:She’d succeeded.
Speaker:Emerson was about to honk his horn when Charlie popped out the front door into the December darkness,
Speaker:a package in tow.
Speaker:She scampered through the snow to the truck, leaving paw-prints in her wake,
Speaker:cinnamon-furred tail billowing like a trailing scarf.
Speaker:As she crossed the headlights on her way to the passenger side,
Speaker:she did some twirls and
Speaker:leaps, showing off her manic energy and youth.
Speaker:She was in her 20’s,
Speaker:while he was in his 30’s.
Speaker:Opening the door, she panted,
Speaker:breath billowing about her whiskered face.
Speaker:“Hey, Emmy … hah … think I could’ve been a winter athlete? Well,
Speaker:I mean, I still could, really.”
Speaker:“Sure,” he said, trying to deter a tangent,
Speaker:especially when cold air was getting in.
Speaker:“Not speed skating, though, cause
Speaker:I’m afraid of falling and getting my tail sliced off,”
Speaker:she said, wriggling in and closing the door.
Speaker:“Probably why you see so many rabbits and hares in that sport.
Speaker:Harder to hurt a bobtail.”
Speaker:“That and those legs … .” Charlie secured her seatbelt.
Speaker:“Now, snowboarding? Mm, maybe.
Speaker:Not that halfpipe thing, but the hills?
Speaker:Going off the ramps, doing flips?
Speaker:Squirrels are naturally acrobatic,”
Speaker:she declared, putting her package on the dashboard next to a tin of homemade cookies.
Speaker:“Our foot-paws can turn one-hundred- eighty degrees!”
Speaker:“I know. I’ve seen.”
Speaker:Emerson drove back on the road.
Speaker:She giggled. “And you said you’d throw out your back.”
Speaker:“Just because a position can be attempted doesn’t mean it should.”
Speaker:“You weren’t complaining at the time.
Speaker:If I recall, you were screaming ‘yes, ye—‘”
Speaker:“Yes, I know,” he said bashfully.
Speaker:He turned from gravel onto
Speaker:pavement, heading into town.
Speaker:“Maybe we should try that with Queenie.”
Speaker:Charlie pressed her nose to the cold glass window,
Speaker:breath fogging it up.
Speaker:She drew a smiley face in the vapor with a claw. “After she
Speaker:sees what I got her,
Speaker:we’re gettin’ lucky tonight.”
Speaker:“Let’s just let things happen, hmm?”
Speaker:The mouse blew out a breath,
Speaker:glancing at her gift.
Speaker:“Why? What did you get her?”
Speaker:“Something wearable.”
Speaker:“Designed to be taken off, no doubt?” “It’s all
Speaker:in the festive spirit!”
Speaker:Charlie insisted.
Speaker:Emerson smiled. “You’re incorrigible.”
Speaker:“So are you!” He scoffed.
Speaker:“Am not.” “You just need someone else to light the match.
Speaker:Lucky for you, I’m a fire-starter.”
Speaker:They had been invited
Speaker:to a private soiree at ‘“Queenie’s.
Speaker:‘“Queenie’s.’” An albino skunk,
Speaker:her real name was Seldovia. She owned a diner on Main Street and lived in the apartment above.
Speaker:She was also the third member of a
Speaker:simmering threesome with the two rodents.
Speaker:Emerson cleared his throat.
Speaker:Since Charlie hadn’t noticed, he said,
Speaker:“Speaking of, uh, wearable gifts … ” “Mm?” The squirrel blinked at him.
Speaker:Then gasped! “Oh, my gosh, you have it on!”
Speaker:“Yup.” She’d bought it for him during the Thanksgiving sales.
Speaker:It was finally cold enough to need it.
Speaker:Charlie reeled his
Speaker:ropy, prehensile appendage into better view.
Speaker:Squeak! “You. In a tailsock.” She released his tail and put her paws on her cheeks. “Aaahh, s’adorable!”
Speaker:Incoherent chittering noises.
Speaker:“This is a new level in our relationship, mouse-o.”
Speaker:“It is?” “Oh, yeah. Definitely.”
Speaker:“You’ve seen mice in socks before.” “Yeah, but not you.
Speaker:There’s a ‘tailsock tier’ to romance.”
Speaker:“Really?” “Could I make something like that up?”
Speaker:“But I feel ridiculous .”
Speaker:“Ridiculously cute!
Speaker:Much better than a flesh-colored sock.”
Speaker:“I look like a candy cane.”
Speaker:His whiskers twitched.
Speaker:The thermal sock, designed to protect thin, furless tails from the elements, was striped.
Speaker:Red and white. “Everyone’s gonna stare.”
Speaker:“Yeah, at your fine, farmboy ass.”
Speaker:She impulsively grabbed his cookie tin and opened it, grabbing some.
Speaker:Crumbs flew off her whiskers as she inhaled them.
Speaker:“Heck, these are good!”
Speaker:“Thanks.” “Gingerbread?”
Speaker:“Ginger molasses.” “Mmm!”
Speaker:There was a pause.
Speaker:“Sleigh bells,” Charlie muttered.
Speaker:“Huh?” “On the end of your sock!”
Speaker:Emerson rolled his blue eyes. “Yeah, that’s not happening.”
Speaker:“How precious would it be, though?
Speaker:Like … ooh, no, wait!
Speaker:Mistletoe.” A thoughtful pause.
Speaker:“Hmm. You’ll need ear-mittens, too.”
Speaker:“Don’t you mean ‘muffs’?”
Speaker:“Mittens. Or ear-gloves? Either way, it’s too cute! I’m gonna faint.
Speaker:faint.” “Never made a girl faint before,”
Speaker:Emerson confessed lightly, curling his tail around her like an extra limb.
Speaker:“That’s a noted side-effect of being in ‘tailsock tier’,”
Speaker:Charlie said. “What are some others?”
Speaker:“Who can say? It’s a very understudied subject.”
Speaker:They arrived at Queenie’s.
Speaker:A regal, fluffy skunk,
Speaker:fur as white as snow,
Speaker:opened the door for them.
Speaker:“What have we here?”
Speaker:she teased. “Carolers?”
Speaker:“Bringing great tidings.
Speaker:And, hopefully, greater joy,”
Speaker:Charlie said, handing Seldovia her gift.
Speaker:“I’ve no doubt of that.” Seldovia bowed. “I’m so glad for your company. I don’t have family around,
Speaker:so … the holidays … ” The skunk swallowed.
Speaker:Looking at Emerson, she suddenly giggled. “Heavens! You look like a butterscotch candy cane.”
Speaker:“Ooh. That’s even better than peppermint,” Charlie whispered.
Speaker:“Sure is,” the skunk agreed, a hungry look on her face.
Speaker:She ushered them inside and up to her apartment,
Speaker:where a delicious dinner was prepared and waiting.
Speaker:Set to candlelight.
Speaker:Before digging in,
Speaker:Charlie peered over a glass of mulled cider,
Speaker:giving Emerson a private wink.
Speaker:“Tailsock tier?” she mouthed.
Speaker:The mouse giggled.
Speaker:The way the night was unfolding?
Speaker:He was a believer.
Speaker:This was “Tailsock Tier”
Speaker:by “Field T. Mouse”
Speaker:who specializes in romantic critter content,
Speaker:read by Rob MacWolf,
Speaker:Werewolf Hitchhiker.
Speaker:You can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog, or find
Speaker:the show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker:Happy Holidays, and Thank you for listening to The Voice of Dog