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Shameless Plugs
Episode 20723rd February 2023 • The Karen Kenney Show • Karen Kenney
00:00:00 00:28:21

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If you're a loyal listener, you may remember, a few months back, I was doing a podcast episode where I dropped a line mentioning I was doing a little “shameless plug” about something I was offering - complete with my own silly sound effects.

My podcast person, Aaron, thought it was hilarious and she made a funny clip of it for me.

This moment caught on camera got me thinking about something I believe is wicked important about self-promotion, shame and shining your light.

So this episode is a little love letter from me to all the people who are out there trying to create things in the world, who have big or small dreams and who are doing something new or scary or trying something else in their business, once again.

Today on The Karen Kenney Show, we’re talking about how we don’t need to be ashamed about sharing our excitement with the world about the stuff we’re working on, what kind of magic we’re creating or what kind of programs we’re offering in our business.

We also dive into how some people in the world, unfortunately, including the ones closest to us, have a way of just sh*tting on our dreams and trying to shut them down.

Of course they don't always do it on purpose, but here's the thing… countless dreams have been stopped in their tracks because of family members, friends or whoever is trying to make you believe it's not cool to get “too excited” about what we're up to.

Well, guess what? I'm not interested in being cool. Ha!

I'm just interested in being myself and so I want to touch back on the concept of the shameless plug. I mean why should there be any shame at all, around sharing what we’ve been up to or dreaming about?

If you are an ambitious dreamer and are tired of people dragging down your dreams and aspirations, then this episode is for YOU!

KK's Takeaways:

  • Shame Around Sharing (3:27)
  • Who Do You Think You Are? (8:07)
  • Not Everybody Has Earned The Right (12:07)
  • Share What Lights You Up (17:09)
  • No More Shame (21:50)

Karen Kenney is known for her dynamic storytelling, sense of humor, and her no BS approach to Spirituality. She’s a sought-after speaker, podcast guest, spiritual teacher, and workshop presenter.

An entrepreneur for 20+years, Karen brings a down-to-earth and practical approach to spiritual concepts that can be powerfully applied in both people’s personal and professional lives. She’s a Certified Spiritual Mentor, Certified Integrative Hypnotist, Life Coach, writer, speaker, and the host of The Karen Kenney Show podcast, as well as the founder of the community: THE NEST.

Karen guides those she works with to create their own unique experience with spirituality and to not just “take her word for it”. In her 1:1 program THE QUEST, she brings together brain science, subconscious reprogramming, healing hypnosis, and spiritual mentorship to help her clients remove limiting blocks, rewrite old stories, rewire in new beliefs, and reimagine their lives!

KK supports her clients, communities, and audiences to deepen their connection to themselves and the Divine in tangible, relatable, and actionable ways. She leads by example and shows that you can do deep, transformative, and healing work while still laughing and having fun!

A student of A Course in Miracles for nearly three decades, a certified yoga teacher for 22+ years, and a longtime practitioner of Passage Meditation, Karen’s also a Certified Gateless Writing Instructor, and a transformational retreat leader.

Transcripts

Unknown:

Hey, you guys, welcome to the Karen Kenny show. I'm wicked excited to be here with you today. And I'm just gonna dive right into this sucker. Because this thing has been on my mind. First of all, first of all, I gotta get my ass to the gym to do my strength training. But number two, this has been on my mind. And so we're going to be coming in maybe a little fast in theory on this topic, so if you're a loyal listener, you may remember, I don't know, a few months ago, whatever it was, I was doing a podcast episode. And I was talking about something. And then I wish I basically said, a line that sounded something like this. Ooh, shameless plug, I'm going to do a little shameless plug or something like that. And ever since I said that, because my podcast person at her own. She heard me say it, excuse me, and she made a funny clip of it for me. Because right after I said it, it was something like this. Oh, I'm going to do a shameless plug mer. Shameless plug Berber, right. And she got it myself punishment, a little clip of it. But it got me to thinking about something that I think is wicked important. So I want to send this out to the creatives, the entrepreneurs, the business owners, the people who naturally get curious and enthusiastic and excited about things in the world. I also want this to be a little love letter to people who are trying to create things in the world who have dreams who have big dreams or small dreams. They want to become writers, they want to do something new, that scary like whatever. This is just a love letter from my heart to yours. I'll start with why I want to talk about it a little bit. Maybe I'll tell a story, quick story or two. But I think it's super duper important. Because I think the world and some of the people in the world, especially the people, unfortunately, closest to us have a way of just shitting on your dreams and trying to shut you down. They try to shut you up should on you and shut you down. And they don't think they don't always do it on purpose. Sometimes they do add up their own stuff or whatever. But here's the thing. Here's the also there's this this factor, which is like it's not cool, somehow it it's not cool to get too excited about what you're up to or whatever. I'm like, I'm not interested in being cool. I'm just interested in being myself. So let me let me touch back on this concept of shameless plugs. Right after I said that, I thought to myself, Why should there be any shame at all, around sharing what I'm up to? I think sometimes people forget, I don't forget, because I've been running my business for over 20 years, but like, I'm a business person, like I have a business as a spiritual mentor, as an integrative hypnotist, as a life coach, as a speaker as a I'm not making money off of writing yet, yet. But you know, I'm a writer, I have a podcast, I'm a yoga teacher, I do workshops and transformational retreats. I'm a fucking business. And I think sometimes people like like to forget about that. Especially if you know, I'm on social media, and I'm usually posting about my puppy buncee or, you know, hey, check out this cool new airfryer I just got our vegan stuff. But when you go to sell something, when you go to promote something that you've been working hard on, something that you're fucking jazzed about, and wicked excited about, the ego mind can get a little weird not only in your own head, but in other people's heads. And it's like a like murmur. So we start to feel some shame around sharing what is lighting us up what we have been working on behind the scenes, what we've been creating and crafting and how we feel called to serve. And so I caught that little book, that little blue that little bumped me out of my head when I'm like, Why do I feel the need to write after I say, Hey, you guys, I want to tell you about this new offer. Or this new space where I'm doing this thing called the experience or the quest my one to one offer, or the NES my membership or the own your magic retreat? Why did I feel the need to like smooth that edge and make fun and go like, Oh, shameless plug. I shouldn't have any shame around sharing what the fuck I'm up to. And what's letting me up in the magic I'm creating in the way that I want to serve and the way that I want to help human beings and animals and the ways that I make money and the ways that I keep a roof over my head and feed my furry kids and help you know, like the whole shebang. We have such a weirdness sometimes around it. And I think like one of the things for me in 2023 was like, I just I leave myself this little note Look at this. It just As I can't wait to share the magic is a little a little cheerleading note to myself, I can't wait to share the magic. So whether you know about human design or not, I like to think of things of like astrology and human design and tarot cards and different ways of kind of interacting with the world, the universe, the stars, the planet, spirit, whatever. You know, I think of these things in fun ways. I think of them as tools in ways to kind of learn more about ourselves, right? When people say, Oh, I'm a Libra and done it on an hour Oh, and human design, I'm a generator, whatever. So what I've heard from my super smarty pants, human design people is one of the things about being a generator, which is what I am, is that we generate energy, we light up the world by being lit up by what lights us up, we light up the world by allowing ourselves to be lit up by what actually lights us up. And it reminds me of a piece of the poem, wild geese were Mary, all of us as the brilliant Mary, all of us says, you know, just let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. And that's what I'm doing in 2023. It's not that I'm out here trying to do it unapologetically. And I don't need to put any kind of disclaimer on it. I'm just allowing myself to naturally follow my curiosity, my excitement, my joy, my enthusiasm, my energy. And I'm just gonna say, Hey, this is what I'm up to, and let the chips fall. Let people do with it, whatever they want to do with it. But why should we feel any kind of shame, about promoting our business, about promoting our art, or our music or ideas, or what we're what we're participating in, or a group we created, or you know, a song that you wrote, or a book that you wrote, or like, whatever, the world really tries to keep you in its place? You know, the way that the ego does things? It's almost like, Who are you to get too big for your britches? Who do you think you are? Right? Who do I think I am? I'm a fucking child. And God, that's who I am, right? I am an extension of love. I am an extension of the universe. And so are you. So who are we not to, as My Brilliant Friend Marianne Williamson says write? Who are you not to. Because when we shine our light, we automatically give other people permission to do the same thing. Now, there have been a couple of times in my life, and I've told this story, I think once before. It's happened to me a couple of times in my life. And I don't need to name names, but I will say this, there have been times in my life when, you know, so I was in writing classes. When I was out in LA, I took a writing class at UCLA, it was like UCLA, University of California, Los Angeles, it was the extension campus. And I was taking a creative writing class with. With a brilliant teacher, I just, I just adored her. Barbara Abra Abercrombie, I have a few of her books. And she and I are still friends on Facebook to this day, and she was such a brilliant teacher. And one of the homework assignments she gave us was to start calling ourselves writers. Now you can just imagine my nervous system was like, like, what? Like what, like, I come from Lawrence, Massachusetts, Boston, Massachusetts, right? Where you're not this like No, allowing yourself to be special, right? And I'm not I'm not I'm not bagging on New England is or Massholes or whatever. Because Hello, hashtag, you know, evolved Masshole over here. But there can be kind of this vibe or this attitude. It's like, oh, look at you, you think you're fucking special, you think you're too good for us, you think you're whatever. Now you move away to California. Now you're a writer, like whatever the thing is, right? It's just a tone. It's just a tone and an attitude. And you just kind of come to expect it. And so sensitive kids, right? Like, we always had to kind of brace ourselves against it, and then be extra fucking brave to go out and do the different thing or the weird thing or the unexpected thing? Because people are like, why would you want to do that? I mean, so I remember being out in LA. And getting the homework assignment. We got to start calling ourselves right is like make it real for ourselves, like claim it. It's like writers, right? Are you writing? Yes. Are you turning in pages? Yes, you're a writer. Right. And at the same time, I had gotten a little piece published in the San Diego I think it was the San Diego. I don't know what it was called, but one of these little paid newspapers or whatever. And so I was like, Okay, I

Unknown:

got my first little published piece. I was proud of myself. And I come back east to visit right I leave la holiday visit whatever it was. And I remember going into like a restaurant fast food place or whatever I was with some family members. And there was a cute kid working at the register when we When I went to place my order, and I didn't think anybody behind me could hear me, and he was cute, and I thought he's a perfect stranger. And I was like, Alright, I'm going to try, I'm going to try on saying out loud that I'm a writer, and I'm going to, I'm going to do my homework assignment. So I can say, I did it, you know, like, good student and whatever. And so I come up to the, to the register, and of course, we start flirting with each other. He was really cute. So we started flirting with each other. And then, you know, I was really tan and stuff like that from being in LA. And you could tell like, you know, you're not from around here, we were at some place in New Hampshire or whatever. And he said to me, so we, you know, shooting the shit, I could clearly saw what he did for work at the time anyways. And he said to me, so what do you do? And I was like, Okay, this is it, the big moment. And I remember my heart was pounding in my chest, and I blurt out, I'm a writer. And he's like, you're a writer, he's like, wow, like, cool, you know. And just as I say it, the person behind me and one of one of my, my family members leans over my shoulder and says, she's got a fucking right and she's a waitress, and just starts laughing. And I was so humiliated, and I was so embarrassed. And it was like, I just felt my I just felt my whole internal, like my whole nervous system just contracted and constricted, and shut down. And that world of possibility, that world of imagination and dreaming that world that it could be possible, like, I can feel the emotion stirring inside of me right now, as I tell this story, I just felt my world trunk, I just felt myself get small and feel small. And it was like a punch to the fucking gut. Man, it was, it was brutal. And it's happened to me more than once. And it taught me the lesson. To be very mindful, I think it was Brene Brown, who said at some point, you know, be careful about who you share your shame with not everybody has earned the right to your stories, I was really vulnerable places. I say it to writers all the time as a gate, I'm a gateless riding instructor, right. And so I often say to writers, when I have writing workshops, like Be very mindful about who you share your craft and your art and your work with your words with, like, we want to make sure it's intended hands in good hands and hands that fucking delight in you, as my friend Linda Tai says, and that's why I have gateless writing workshops is so that I can create that space for people to come in and share those stories. Because in the beginning, there are so they're not that the writing is fragile. But the dream attached to that the vulnerability attached to sharing your most inner world and thoughts and stories and all of it, it's like that stuff is like in the wrong hands. It will stop a kid in their tracks, it will stop a person in their tracks from becoming in pursuing their art in their craft. If it's not recognize, you know, and there's that old saying that, you know, Jesus could not perform miracles, I don't know, it's somewhere, I guess it's somewhere in the Bible. But I heard it. And I've loved it ever since. Because I love the concept, the spiritual universal concept that it shares, which is like Jesus couldn't perform miracles in His own hometown. And I'm like, Yeah, because those suckers could not see him as he was, they could not see Him for who He was and what he was capable of. They're just like, oh, that's the kid who's the cop and dad, right? That's the guy that bangs, bangs, nails, you know, with a hammer, he just builds shit, like they just could not, could not see Him in His glory and what he was capable of. And so when we're trying to claim that, we have to be wicked careful about who we're sharing it with, because they will say things that if you're not careful, if you do not have internal stabilizers in place, if you do not have balcony, people in place, these are all things we talk about in the nest, right. And when I work with people one to one, if you don't have those things in place, a little spiritual fortitude, right? It can be really easy to feel ashamed, or embarrassed, or weird, or guilty or different. And you won't want to share what you're up to, and what you love, and what you're on fire about in what you're creating. And I really want to help people I did a, I did a training on unchaining with a brilliant David Bedrick. And I really, really think it's so important because so many of us walk around with shame. And it comes from our culture, it often comes from our family. Sometimes if you were in an organized religious situation, it comes from that there's 1000 ways we can be shamed by ourselves and others in the world around us. And I really love I really love helping people to unshaved themselves. So this is kind of an episode celebrating that for me where I'm saying like, I'm not going to feel shame around the fact that I have a business that I've been in business for over 20 some odd years. That I am good at what I do. And I love what I do. And I'm constantly trying to be better at what I do. So when I create an offering, it's my way of loving people like, Oh, I'm getting emotional. It's my way of loving people, and serving people, and putting stuff out in the world. And not that I need to explain it. But you know, I want to have a shit ton of money. People are always like, oh, spirituality, like money, I'm like, money isn't bad money is neutral money is energy. Money is a means for me to do good in the world. The more money I have, the more good I can do, the more I can support myself and my family, right, but set aside, so there's a little bit of, you know, stability and shit like that, get your teeth fixed, if you need to take maybe take a little vacation, like whatever. But also, you know, it's nice to be able to do things for other people and other animals. And to be able to be generous, you can be so much more generous, when you have a surplus of means when you have more cash. So here's what I want to say to you guys. If you have something that has been lighting you up, that you've been wanting to shout out about, that you've been wanting to sell, or share or promote or whatever, you get to do that, without feeling ashamed about it. You get just to be your wonderful, beautiful, weird, fabulous self and say, raise your hand and say, Hey, this is what lights me up. This is how I like to help other humans or animals or whatever. This is my ministry or mission or mandate in the world. This is how I'm doing what I am called to do. What excites me. So I love sharing the magic. And so you might hear me talking more about the things that I'm offering my own your magic retreat, Mike, you know, the quest, my one to one spiritual mentoring and hypnosis stuff, right? Coming to my in person space, my beautiful new space, which I'm willing and excited about, to have the experience to have a writing workshop, whatever it is. So you know, little, little pink permission, slip a little hall pass from my heart to yours. But also, right, just be aware, like I said, there's going to be times when you're going to share it and you're gonna think, well, this should be saved because I'm sharing it with my friends or with my family. But man, the psychology that goes on in the minds of people we quote unquote, know in love, right? They think sometimes they're being helpful. They think they're trying to save you from ruin, or embarrassment or not being successful. And they'll say things to shit on your dreams, or to try and get you to shut up or to try and get you to sit down. Not take up too much space in the world. And you'll be like, my closest people, and I'm like, yeah, it blows, right. And this is why finding other communities of people who are doing the same thing that you are, who are excited about the same kinds of things that you are, can be so good, like a little distance. And sometimes you get lucky man, sometimes you have parents that totally support your dreams and believe in your dreams. Sometimes you get blessed with siblings who are like my sister is the best or my cousin or my brother or whoever, right family members who just think you're the bee's knees and, and the cat's meow and the cats pa pajamas. You

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